REAL AF with Andy Frisella - SUNDAY SERMON: The First Commitment You Need To Make This Year, with Andy Frisella - MFCE278

Episode Date: December 30, 2018

A long time ago I made a decision...I promised myself I would handle a common negative emotion in a positive way. Because I've been able to do that, it has massively impacted my ability to achieve success & happiness. In this episode, I tell you what it is & how handling it well transforms every aspect of your life. It's that important.

If you want to make your dream become reality, the people that are running after that dream know they're going to have hard times. They keep on running because they're saying within themselves, I'm the one, I'm the one. No matter how bad it is or how bad it gets, I'm going to make it. What is up guys? You're listening to the MFCEO Project. I'm Andy, I'm your host, and I am the motherfucking CEO. Guys, today is Sunday Sermon. It's going to be short, it's going to be sweet, but I wanted to give you something to really, truly think about over the next 12 months at least, and hopefully make it a habit for you for the next, you know, however

long you've got left on this planet, because it's important. You know, when I grew up, when I was a kid and I was a teenager, and even into my, all my entire 20s, social media wasn't really a thing at all The internet kind of came around when I was about I don't know I guess 20, I don't know When I was around 20 I guess the internet came around And people used MySpace and Facebook and this and that

But now we have an entire generation of adults Who have grown up with the internet. And I want to really sort of educate you slash warn you slash get you thinking the right way about some of the ways that you handle yourself online and in real life. Okay. You know, a lot of you guys, and I see this shit, man, because you tag me in it. So, you know, when you tag me in a post on Instagram, I go read it and I see it. And a lot of you guys talk about people hating on you and this and that. But I want you to ask yourself, how many times have you gone on to someone else's post or their page

or their, whatever their opinion is, and have you criticized them or talk shit about them or quote unquote, hated on them? How many times have you done that? Because I could tell you how many times I've done that and it's zero. And I believe that's why I give very little of it back because I don't give it out. All right. But this goes far deeper than just on the internet. This really goes into checking ourselves when it comes to our feelings of jealousy, when it comes to our feelings of insecurity, when it comes to our feelings of where we are versus other people. Now, a lot of the experts, and I'm using the term

experts very loosely, will tell you, don't worry about other people, only worry about yourself. Well, let me tell you something. There's truth to that for sure, okay? Because I have been the guy who's been so concerned, and I'm talking in business, so concerned with what my competitors were doing that I was spending an exorbitant amount of energy over there and not the right amount of energy in my own business, which is what created a situation where we didn't grow. All right. So there is truth to that. However, competition is reality. Okay. And the people who harp on that shit and who want to feel good and do good and post all these feel good memes and all this shit, dude, I've looked at them and you know who the fuck I'm talking about, dude. It's the guys who are

overly positive and Kumbaya hold hand motherfuckers. And here's the reality guys. Those people haven't competed. They've not competed in business. They've not competed in life. Uh, and they made a living off of preaching this fucking idealistic bullshit. Here's the truth. You are in competition. You're in competition with everybody. You're in competition with your left, the person on your left, the person on your right, uh person on your right, every single person you're in competition with. And that's how you should look at it. Okay. Now, who are you in competition most? Yourself. Agree with that a hundred percent. But the truth of it is, is other people are trying

to take your shit. There's people right now targeting you, wanting to take from you, wanting to hurt you, wanting to do bad, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And that's ever more the reason why you need to focus on yourself and your skills. And that's how you beat them. Okay. So there is some truth to that, that your only competition is yourself, but it's taken out of context so much that I need to remind you guys that you are competitive with other people. That's the reality. There's other people, there's other businesses trying to take your shit. There's other people trying to take your shit. There's other businesses that are just waiting for you to trip up so they can take whatever it is that you've worked so hard to create.

But the reality is, is the way you defeat that is by getting better yourself. All right. So a long time ago, maybe 2006, seven, uh, I made it a, I made it a 1000% policy of mine to not talk shit on other people directly. Okay. Um, I, if I say something negative or that's perceived to be negative about someone, it's because it's factually true. Okay. Um, now this is why this is important and this is what I'm getting at. All of us are jealous. All of us have insecurities. All of us look at other people and don't like them naturally sometimes, especially when they're competing with us. But how you handle it matters a great deal to

what your outcome is going to be. All right. So let me explain this to you. I don't care what you say. I don't care what you think. I don't care what you believe. I know for a fact that there is such a thing as the law of attraction slash the universe slash God, whatever you call it, there is a higher power involved here that gives us exactly what we truly focus on in life. And I've honed this ability over the last 12 years or so, 13 years to where it's, I'm very good at it. And my, my attractors muscles are very strong. Um, but when you're in the beginning of the very week, it's just like going to the gym for the first time, your ability to manifest shit and create shit and think about shit and focus on the right things is very weak in the beginning. Um this is something I want to point out to you guys that I've lived. All right. The

first six, seven years I was in business, I hated my competitors. I talked massive shit on them. Anybody who would listen, I hated them. But why did I hate them? I didn't hate them because they were doing things wrong. I didn't hate them because they were immoral. I didn't hate them because they were doing things wrong. I didn't hate them because they were immoral. I didn't hate them because of anything. And by the way, they were doing things wrong and yes, they were immoral. That's not why I hated them. I hated them because they were competing with me and I just fucking hated them and they had more success than me and they were living a better life than me and they have more money than me. And it was a very selfish thing. And what I was putting out in the universe was, and this is how it works, guys.

What I was putting out was, I don't like that guy's success. I don't like that guy winning. I hate him for winning. I hate him for having a better life. I'm jealous of him for this, that, and the other. Okay. And all of us do this. Even if we don't say it, we think it. All right. And, and the key is to weed our minds out of thinking this way, because here's what happens. The universe doesn't hear, oh, you hate this person or you hate this. The universe hears this. Andy hates money. Andy hates success. Andy hates winning because this other person over there is winning and he hates it. So he must hate it too. And what do you get back? You get a bunch of shit that keeps you from winning. You get a bunch of shit that keeps you from progressing. You get a bunch of shit that will magically appear in your life

that keeps you from getting where you want to go. And it feels like magic because we don't understand how these things work and there's not a lot of science to prove the quantum physical and metaphysical aspects of what we put out we get back. But let's just assume and just play along that you don't believe this. So assume that you, that this is a law. All right. Let's just assume that this is the way it actually works, which by the way, I don't need proof. I know it fucking works. I know that's the way it works. All right. So I don't need, I don't need that, but you might, because you might

not have experienced things that I've experienced the way I've experienced them. So let's just assume that that's the fucking way it is. All right. And every single time you say something negative, every single time you hate on someone, every single time you say something out of jealousy, out of, uh, you know, spite, that you're telling God, the universe, whatever it is that you choose to believe, the higher power, that there's a miscommunication happening there and they are taking it as you just hate that person's life. You don't like money. You don't like success. You don't like these things. And so they don't give it to you. They don't allow

the paths to open. They don't allow the doors to open for you to walk through. And I could tell you with 1000% certainty guys, that when I started practicing this, I started winning and not just winning a little, winning a lot. And I see this all the time. I see people attacking people on the internet. I see people who have, you know, quote unquote authority figures who have never found success in what it is that they do. And they continue to attack people over and over and over again. That's their way of becoming relevant. They're not trying to educate. They're trying to embarrass and belittle and hate all because the person that they're hating on might be having a little more success than what they're trying to embarrass and belittle and hate all because the person that they're hating on might be having a little more success than what they're having financially. Okay. And guys,

you cannot fall into this trap. This is what, this is how losers think. This is why you can have every advantage in the world. You could have the capital, you can have the plan, you can have the execution, you can have fucking everything. But if you're constantly jealous and you're constantly verbalizing or just thinking negative things about other people's success, the world will not allow you to have success no matter how long you work, no matter how hard you work, no matter what you do, no matter how good your plan is, no matter how much capital you have behind it, the universe, God, the higher power will keep you from having what it is you're telling them that you do not want. And for that reason and that

reason alone, it is not worth you saying or thinking the negative things about other people, all right? And this is a huge, huge, huge thing. It's not just saying it. It's not just contributing to the gossip. It's not just piling on. It's you thinking it too, okay? And the first step is to silence yourself when you're about to say it. Okay. And the second step will be to not think it and instead replace those thoughts with things like this. You know what? I'm happy for him. If that guy can do it, I can fucking do it. And that's how I started looking at it. I started looking at people instead of saying, man, you know, it must be nice. That guy got lucky. You know what? Yeah, he's successful. But, and then, you know, whatever the butt is, I stopped having

those conversations. And I started having these conversations. Dude, you know what? That's fucking cool. He's winning like that. And if he's winning like that, I know I can win like this. Okay. And I started, instead of hating, I started seeing positive reinforcement about what I was capable of doing versus, you know, me seeing it as something that was threatening to me. Okay. And you hear about a lot of people talk about this. They talk about it, abundance mentality. And you know, this is how the, you know, the feel good gurus will tell you abundance mentality, blah, blah, blah. I totally agree. But here's the thing. They don't tell you how to do it. You know, what the fuck does that mean? And how do we actually get to that place? How do we actually get ourselves in a place where

when we see even our competitors winning, instead of being jealous, instead of being angry, instead of verbalizing or thinking negative things or creating a pity party, you see it as a beacon of hope for your success. And that's when you become a powerful being. That's when you become primed and ready to succeed. Because until that point, you're not ready to succeed because you're bitter, you're angry, you're mad. And guess what? That's all dark side emotion. And I fucking love dark side emotion, but I do not hate other people for having success. I never get jealous of other people for having the things I want to have. And instead,

I see what I can learn from them. I see how it can benefit me. I see how it can benefit our team. I see how it can benefit our customers and I work to improve. And that's what drives success. That's how you have to look at competitors. You can't fucking hate them because your hate, not only does the universe block you from getting where you want to get, because you're telling them you don't want success, all right? But when you hate like that, it blocks your ability to observe the situation and learn the lessons that you need to learn. Because you're so caught up in this emotion of jealousy and anger and frustration and verbalizing this gossip and this hate and attacking them on social media, maybe whatever it is that you do, but you're so

caught up in that shit that you cannot actually see the tactical lessons of what these other people are doing correct and how you could be better than them. All right. And this is why most people can't succeed. It's a twofold problem. You know, you guys complain about haters, but a lot of times the reason you've got haters is because you're the one out there hating. You're the one out there making negative comments. You're the one out there addressing things inappropriately instead of, you know, DMing someone privately and saying, Hey, you know what? Uh, I appreciate you. Uh, I don't agree with that post and here's why. And having adult conversation, you had the mob mentality of, you know, just attacking and then, you know, riling

up your mob to fucking, you know, attack someone. And guys, all you're doing is short circuiting yourself and three full one, the universe doesn't fucking like it too. You're not going to learn anything. Three people aren't going to like you because of the way that you handle yourself. Cause no one likes a fucking bully. No one likes a shit talker. Now, granted, I'll talk some shit, but it's always in fun. It's not serious. All right. Um, you know, a lot of people will say, Oh, Andy, he's cocky. No, I'm not fucking cocky. It's a joke. Like I'm joking around. Uh, if anyone knows that they're not shit, it's me. I can tell you that right now. So, uh, you know, I'm still figuring out, I'm still trying to figure

out why the fuck you guys even listen to this podcast. But anyway, um, you know, just be real careful and make it a mission of yours to not contribute to the gossip, not contribute to the hate and instead, you know, learn to control your mouth, learn to control your fingers. And when you're about to type that comment or type that post or type that or say those things that, you know, are critical of someone else's success or position in life or how they choose to live their life, instead, stop yourself and say, you know what? Do I really have an issue with this or am I just attacking them because I'm jealous? Because if it's the second part and it's what you really want, they have what you really want. You have to realize that every negative thing you express towards them is going to be

interpreted by the universe as they don't like this. I'm not going to give them that. And guys, I've lived this shit. I swear. I swear to you guys on everything on my fucking dogs. And if you know me, you know, my dogs are the most important thing to me in my life. All right. I swear on fucking everything. When I changed my mentality of this, things got easier and the things started happening fast and my relationships got better. Not just like personal, like romantic. I'm talking about with employees, with customers, with friends, with competitors, the amount of learning that I did, the amount of people that lifted me up. It completely changed my whole life because guys, the universe will give you what you

put out and you're probably right now short-circuiting yourself without even realizing it with what I'm talking about in this little podcast right here. All right. You know that every little comment you make, every little shit talk you make, you know, everything, every little thing, guys, that's reflective of a fucking toxic mentality and toxic energy that you're putting out into the universe that you're going to get back in some way or the other. At the very least, it's going to keep you from getting what it is. So guys, be very careful what you say and how you think. And if you're one of these people who secretly thinks it, because I know a lot of you guys right now, you're not

saying what you really think, but you're thinking it. Or maybe you're saying it to your very close friends or your spouse, but you're still thinking it. And guys, not saying it isn't enough to get rid of it. You have to get rid of your thought process too. So you got to twist it. You got to change the perspective. And everything in life is about perspective. You've got to switch where it is you are and put it how a successful person thinks. And I don't know one successful person, not one, not one, not one that's going to leave a negative comment or even say anything negative about someone else out of emotion. Now, will there be negative talk? Yeah, maybe, but it's going to be pure fact and it's going to be, it's going to be followed up with a conversation of how to avoid that in our life.

If I'm having a conversation with Ed Milet and we say, oh, so-and-so does this, we don't fucking like that, that's not hating. That's saying, hey, we don't want to go that direction. We want to go this direction. So there's a difference. But if I'm looking at someone and they've got more money than me or more success or they've done things, you know, dude, I don't give a fuck. I look at that as, as, as hope. I look at that as possibility that inspires me, even if it's my competition. And that's how you guys need to be looking at it. All right.

Um, you know, scorched earth and stepping on throats and all that shit. That's fucking great. I love that shit. I love it more than anybody. But the truth is, is that, you know, when it comes down to how you feel, I am thankful for my competition. I am thankful for those people because they push me to be better. Okay. And I understand that the way to beat them is not to hate them. It is not to berate them publicly. It is not to talk shit or even think about talking shit. It is to say, hey, if that dude can be successful doing that, how much success can we create

by doing it our way or doing it this way and we can improve upon that? And that's, dude, that's how entrepreneurs really think, successful ones at least, you know, so separate yourself from the herd. Don't be the person who's, you know, attacking people when you don't agree with them. Don't be the person who's hitting people. Um, and, and, you know, out of jealousy. Now, if they're doing something wrong, if they're doing something, you know, dude, there's a way to address that. You know, you fucking text them or you DM them and you say, Hey, you know what? I saw you said this and I don't really agree with that. And here's why, and this and that, uh, and have a conversation like an adult, but to, to just hate and be jealous. That's so guys, I'm just telling you, I don't have any proof.

I don't have any fucking proof of this other than what I've experienced. But I think you guys, and I hope you guys, I hope I've earned your trust over the period of time. And I hope if you do nothing else over the next 12 months, if you change this one fucking thing, this one thing that I'm talking about here, your life 365 days from now will be infinitely better in every single way. And I want you guys to have that because right now everybody's talking about this new me, new, new year, new me bullshit, you know, which is fucking garbage. I mean, dude, come the fuck on. The reality is, is, uh, you know, you're going to fucking wake up on January 1st and you're

going to be hung over and you're going to do the same fucking shit that you did for the whole time, 2000 fucking 18, unless you make a real commitment to fucking changing yourself. And guys, this is the first commitment that you need to make. Don't fucking think negatively and don't talk negatively about other people. Those two things alone, by making those a habit of you, not only will they make you happy, they'll reduce your anxiety, they'll reduce your frustration, they'll reduce your anger, and it'll actually open up the doors from the universe for you to walk through that you're looking for right now. Okay. And I know this is a little bit different than just, you know, hey, fuck this, fuck that, fire and brimstone shit. But this is, this is real guys.

This is real. And you could choose to believe it or not, but I could tell you this. I know what it was like to be broke. And, and I know what it was like to question everything. And I know what it was like to not know what was right and what was wrong. And I'm telling you from somebody who's been up the mountain and, uh, and down the other side and then climbing up the next biggest mountain right now, it's real shit and it'll make a big difference. So if you do nothing else for the next 12 months, I ask that you commit yourself to positive thinking about what is hopeful and what is possible for you and derive those thoughts from the people that you look at who last year you might've been jealous of, but this year you're going to be inspired by.