REAL AF with Andy Frisella - THE GRIM REAPER OF DREAMS: Selective Urgency, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO213

Episode Date: February 8, 2018

So many people wait and wait and wait…to make a change…to get their sh*t together…to take advantage of an opportunity. They don't act with urgency until it's too late...and they suffer the consequences. But successful people are different. They live every day with urgency...even when they are way ahead! In this episode, I talk about how people suffer from "selective urgency," how to identify it, how to avoid it, and what to do in place of it...so that you can cultivate the habits high earners possess.  

What is up guys you're listening to the MFCEO project I'm Andy I'm your host and I am the motherfucking CEO today is Thursday Thunder I'm gonna get right into it have you ever looked around and seen your friends your family family, people you know, people that your acquaintance is with and really paid attention to how they operate? All right. Every day at four o'clock, they're sitting in their driveway on a cooler, cracking a beer with the neighbors, right? They're talking about how their day went, how their job, you know, it's okay. Their boss is a dick. Their wife sucks. Their husband sucks, right? And they chit chat and they talk. And every day you walk by and there they are. They're doing the same shit over and over and over again.

And then one day, you see them with a moving truck outside, and you walk up, and you're like, hey, what's going on? I didn't know you were moving. And he goes, we just got foreclosed on. And you're like, what? He's like, yep, bank wants the house back.

I didn't know about it until 30 days ago. I was pissed off. I didn't know what I should do days ago. I was pissed off. I didn't know what I should do. They just sprung this on me out of the blue. And now they took the house back. I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know where I'm going to go. My life is totally in shambles.

I don't know what I'm going to do. And you're sitting there with a look of awe on your face. You can't believe what you're hearing, right? Let me give you another scenario. You're in a relationship. And your significant other is telling you, I want to go do these things. I need the relationship to be this. I want to have a relationship that's more like this. And they're telling you these things and you, you just keep putting them to the back of your head. You keep like saying, oh yeah, yeah, we'll do it. We'll do it. And you keep blowing them off and you do this month after month after month.

And then eventually that person comes to you and they say, we're breaking up or I'm, I want a divorce or I'm leaving. And what do you do? What do you mean you're leaving? What do you mean you want a divorce? You're just going to spring this on me out of the blue. You're just going to leave me after all this time. What do you need? What do you want? I could change. I could be what you want to be. I could be the person you want me to be. Let's work on it. Except you can't work on it because that person's already fallen out of love with you. That person has already made up their mind, but because it's news to you, you're freaking the fuck out and you have an extreme sense of urgency about the situation.

Let me give you another example. You work for a company and you have a manager who has taught you or a boss who has taught you every skill you need. They've given you all the tools. They've given you all the opportunity. They've given you all the support. And instead of you running with the opportunity, instead of you listening to what needed to be done and doing it, instead of you taking advantage of the tools that you have available to you, you take it for granted. And one day your boss comes in

because you've taken it for granted for six months, 12 months, two years, who knows, who knows, who knows how long they're willing to tolerate you. And they say, you know what? I'm cutting your pay or worse. They say, you know what? You're fucking fired. And you are like, what do you mean I'm fired? What do you mean you're cutting my pay? What do you mean? Well, I've told you for the last year that if this and this and this didn't happen, I was going to have to make a change. But you, because you don't listen and because you don't take it serious, what do you do now? You're like, well, don't give me another chance. Listen, I can make this work. I could do this. Give me

another chance. And you get all freaked out and all pissed off. And then when you do get fired, because they're not willing to give you another chance, then you hate the fucking boss. You hate the manager. You hate the company. I know some of that sounds familiar. One of those three things you've witnessed or experienced either through your friends, your family, or yourself. And let me explain to you what is going on. You see, we've got two kinds of people on this earth. We've got people who are intense. We've got people who have urgency. We've got people who understand the need to win on every opportunity presented to them. We've got people who understand that nothing should be taken for granted.

We've got people that understand there is no time to sit on your hands and wait. We have people that understand that they have to go out and do everything they can to make sure that not only do they get the job done, but that they are the best at it. These people attack every day with a sense of urgency. You know some of these people. You probably call them fucking millionaires. They probably own the company you work for. They probably are the people you look up to when you see someone driving a nice car down the street

or living in a big fucking house that you want or going on the trips that you want or sending their kids to schools that you can't afford. Those are the people that come in and are constantly putting up fucking points on the scoreboard, no matter how many they already have. They don't take an opportunity for granted. They don't take feedback for granted. They take it serious. They are a hundred percent urgent a hundred percent of the time. And you probably don't fucking get it because you look at motherfuckers who have a lot of money, who have a cool company, who travel on private planes, who live in a big house, who send their kids to

schools that you can't afford, who go on trips you can't afford, and you cannot figure out why they are so fucking intense. You look at him, you say, what's this guy fucking worried about? and that's the fucking problem you see most people wait until it's too late to turn on the urgency most people wait until the fucking house has crumbled until the relationship is burned to the ground until the opportunities have passed them by. And then, what do they do? They freak out. They go 1,000% urgent. When, if they would just take everything seriously, and they came and approached their life on a daily basis

as if it was the only day they had to win, what would happen instead? They would get the opportunities. They would have the good relationships. They wouldn't have the surprise foreclosure. They wouldn't have the surprise, I lost my job. No. No.

This concept that I'm explaining is called selective urgency. And this concept is what completely fucks every single person's life up. You want to know why you're not succeeding? I can promise you it's because you're putting out selective urgency. You want to know why you're not where you want to be? Because you live with selective urgency. You want to know not why you're not making the fucking money and that other guy's making the money because you are less urgent than him you are choosing when to turn on the urgency and when to turn it off when in reality the most successful people the people who win the most the wealthiest people the people you see in forbes the people you see when you drive down the nice neighborhood in your

fucking town, wherever the fuck you're from, those motherfuckers, they never turn the urgency off. Now you're probably thinking, well, I don't know, Andy, I know Tom from down the street. He owns a $500 million company and he seems pretty chill. that has nothing to do with it you don't have to yell and scream but you have to be urgent about continually doing the critical tasks continually winning on a daily basis continually showing everybody that not only are you good, but you're the fucking best. That's what you're missing. If you're listening to this right now, and you don't think that you're putting in selective urgency,

you're fucking full of shit. If you're not making the money you want to make, if you're not driving the car you want to drive, if you're not living the life you want to live, it's for two fucking reasons. One, you aren't practicing aggressive patience. You haven't been doing the right things long enough. Or two, you're practicing selective urgency. And selective urgency is the number one killer of potential, of dreams, of what could have been in the world. Urgency is not something to be fucked with.

It is not something to be turned up and turned down based on the situation. If you're in a business where you see 50 motherfuckers a day that you have to deal with every single opportunity you should walk away from with that person saying that was the best interaction I've ever fucking had with any human on face of the earth successful people make everything important at all times they make every person important. They make every opportunity important. They make every fucking detail important. Most people don't. There's a 99% and then there's a fucking 1%. And the reason people are in the 99% is because they live with selective urgency. They try to determine when to decide things are important or not.

They try to turn off the world when things aren't going their way and stick their head in the fucking sand. The world doesn't care if you have your head in the sand. The mortgage company doesn't care if you have your head in the sand. The world doesn't care if you have your head in the sand. The mortgage company doesn't care if you have your head in the sand. The bank doesn't fucking care. Your boss doesn't fucking care. The world doesn't care. You need to understand that if you are going to be successful, if you are going to move forward, if you are going to build the life that all of you motherfuckers say you're going to, but none of you actually do, you are going to have to learn to be fucking urgent. I hear other people saying, oh, you're're 22 you got all the time in the world bullshit you don't you're gonna snap your fingers and you're gonna be fucking 40.

urgency is a fucking habit you need to develop this skill that not only is the little things urgent and the big things urgent, but everything's urgent. It's not up to you to decide what's important and what's not. If you have a job to do, if you have a business,

if you have a family, if you have a job to do if you have a business if you have a family if you have a relationship don't stick your head in the sand and ignore the things that matter that's how you end up in the situation where you're surprised that shit happens to you and the reason that the bad shit happens to people over and over and over again is because they constantly live with their head in the sand, not wanting to address the problems of the day. They skip the problems on Monday. They skip the problems on Tuesday. They skip the problems on Wednesday. And what happens? These things compound. Instead of being little problems, they become huge problems. And they end up costing you big.

So my message here today is fucking simple. Learn how to be urgent at all times. Learn how to be perfect at all times. Learn how to be perfect at all times. Learn how to execute perfectly at all times. And when you first start, that's going to be hard. I get it. But the things I'm talking about end up being habits. And when you do this over and over and over again for not that long of a time, they become habits. Your standards will raise. Your performance will raise. Your value will raise. And you will make more money. Your business will grow. You'll progress in your career. Things will start to move forward.

But only when you understand the concept of selective urgency and do everything you can to eliminate it from your life. Pay attention to those people around you. Pay attention to the people who say, oh, it's not that big of a deal. Look at their lives. Look at their income.

Look at the problems they have. All of them can be tied back to what I'm talking about right now. And if you want to get ahead, if you want to fucking win, if you want to get ahead, if you want to fucking win, if you want to be who you say you want to be, you're going to have to eliminate that habit. You're going to have to become urgent. You're going to have to know that you're working on a limited amount of time and you're going to have to be serious about it. And if you're not,

don't say I didn't tell you. The world needs fucking fry cooks too.