REAL AF with Andy Frisella - The Only Way Elite Achievers Want To Be Coached, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO270

Episode Date: November 1, 2018

How do you respond to people who are leading or coaching you? The reality is, your response to guidance & instruction is what is going to determine whether you're an average person or an elite achiever. Average people want to tell the coach or leader HOW to lead them. They care about personality, approach, communication style, & all sorts of other things. But elite achievers only care about one thing. In this episode, I tell you what it is.

I can stack them hundreds to the roof. I ain't stopping till they stack to the moon. Without me, my family wouldn't have food. Anybody go against me, gotta lose. What is up, guys? You're listening to the MFCEO Project. I'm Andy, I'm your host, and I am the motherfucking CEO. Guys, today is Thursday Thunder. If you're new to the podcast, we typically do two podcasts a week, sometimes three. Sometimes we don't do fucking any though, because guess what? We get to do whatever we want here. And I like that. And the point of this podcast is to get you to a position to where you can do the things that you want to do when you want to do them. All right. This is called the MFCEO project for a reason, specifically project. We are here to help

reverse the last 20 years of failed parenting strategy to help you guys understand what it really takes to be successful and successful can be defined however the fuck you want to define it all right um you guys have to understand that being successful the principles of success have not and will not ever change. No matter what society wants to tell you, no matter what the idealists want to tell you, no matter what the romantics want to tell you, the ideas and the principles of being successful will never and have never changed, all right? The fundamentals, okay? Today, I want to talk to you about something that is extremely important. By the way, if you haven't gone back and listened to episode 107, that's a good place to start

because we talk about the power list. The power list is the ultimate productivity tool. The reason I want to plug that is because we're getting so many new listeners and, you know, we have 270 episodes now, you know, it's a little overwhelming on where to start. That's a good place to start because it's going to give you a tool that's going to give you the ability to move forward instantaneously and powerfully right now. Okay. So if you haven't listened to 107, go back to listen to 107, jump on the website, grab yourself a power list book because that's a very extremely useful tool for you guys to get where you want to go. But anyway, what I want to talk about today is this, okay? I get a lot of questions, obviously,

and one of the questions I get from young people and one of the questions I also get, because there's two sides to this dynamic from leaders, has to do with the idea of this. I have a lot of young people and they're, and dude, I hear this in interviews too, by the way. And if you ever interview and you say this, you're automatically not going to get the job. And what is this that I'm talking about? Well, this is saying something to the effect of this. Well, at my last job, um, you know, I just didn't see eye to eye with my, my boss's leadership style. Okay. You know what, you know, what's a potential interviewer hears whenever you say something like that, they don't hear you being honest. They don't hear you being,

uh, you know, reasonable. They automatically see you as a red flag. You're going to be the guy that doesn't respond to leadership. You're going to be the guy that pouts. You're going to be the guy that cries. You're going to be the guy that causes cancer. And guess what? You're not going to get the fucking job. Okay. So I want to talk a little bit about this because I think this is a huge, huge issue with a lot of people right now. Um, a lot of people are in a situation where they want to be coached or they want to be led in a certain way. All right. And the problem with that is this, there's seven plus billion people on this earth and not every person that

you deal with is going to communicate in a way that you like. They're not going to use the language that you respond to all the time. They're not going to say things in a way that spare your ego or spare your feelings. All right. That's the reality. Okay. Average people who don't fulfill their true potential, they want to tell a leader or a coach how they want to be led. And they say things like, well, I'm just not resonating with your approach to leadership, or I just don't click with his personality, or the way you communicate, it's just too abrasive and it hurts my feelings. I respond a lot better if you were just a little bit more mindful of my feelings. Okay. That's what average people do. And that's the shit they think. And that's the shit they say. And the reason they say this shit

and think this shit is because they have no ability to take responsibility for themselves. All right. And on the other hand, we have elite achievers. We have the people who will perform and succeed and win and dominate no matter what tone the leader uses, no matter what language the leader uses, no matter what the leader says, these people, all they care about is they want to be coached in a way that gets them results. Okay. They don't give a shit about personality. They don't whine about someone's approach. They don't care about someone's communication style and they don't give two fucks whether their leader is soft-spoken or shy or whether their coach is loud and abrasive and hot-headed and exciting. They don't care. All they care about is this. They want their coach to be an expert. They want the coach to have done

what it is they're trying to do and they want the coach to be able what it is they're trying to do. And they want the coach to be able to help them to do it too. They want results and that's it. Okay. And if the way their coach communicates hurts their ego, they say, you know what? So be it. I don't care. They're able to push their personal feelings aside because they understand that it's necessary because the process of getting better,

and I want you to remember this, the process of getting better and becoming the best at what it you do in the world is painful. It's excruciating. It's hard. It's uncomfortable. And there's a reason why there is the phrase that says growing pains. It doesn't say growing feel goods. It doesn't say growing happies. It doesn't say growing smiley fucking face emojis. It says growing pains. Okay? Losers want to be coddled. They want to be comfortable. They want to be communicated to in a certain way that fits the worldview that they have

so it doesn't ruffle their little delicate fucking feathers. Winners want to be pushed and put through the pain because they know that going through that pain is going to produce the best possible product in themselves. Okay. And I want you to ask yourself, which one of these people are you? Because there's only two. Do you care about how you're coached or do you care more about what your leader or coach is helping you accomplish? Are your feelings so delicate and so sensitive

that you're going to let you getting your little delicate feelings hurt get in the way of becoming what it is you wish to become? Or do you say, you know what? Fuck my ego. Okay. There's no pain. There's no fucking gain. Which one of those people are you? Because I can tell you one is going to always be average and one is going to always end up being elite. All right. And I know some of you guys right now are saying, well, I'm a leader. So this is good for the people under me, but it doesn't really apply to me. Listen, I'm a leader too. You think I don't have people that lean coach me and help me. I have people in my life who give me feedback. And guess what? Most of the time that feedback doesn't feel very

fucking good because they're setting a boundary. They're saying, Hey dude, you're crossing the line or Hey dude, you can be better here. And guess what? That bruises my fucking ego. But the truth is, what do I do? Do I whine? Do I cry? Do I pout? No, I take that shit and I fix what the problem is so that I can be better. I know that that means that those people actually give a fuck about what I'm doing in my life. All right. I don't care if they hurt my feelings. And the truth is hurting my feelings is one of the only ways you can get through to me. It's what I respond to. And it's what you respond to as well. If you took inventory of what actually causes you to go out and make a change, you don't make a change when you're feeling, you know, like,

oh, I don't, I feel pretty good. Oh, you know what? I could be better there. No, you make a change when you're fucking disgusted with yourself and you look at yourself in the mirror and you say dude I can't fucking do this anymore I'm gonna change all right that's what you respond to whether you want to admit it or not okay and and some of you also might be saying but you just did this episode with Jocko and Jocko said you can't be a leader that you want to be you have to be the leader your team needs and I agree with that but here's the thing that you want to be. You have to be the leader your team needs. And I agree with that. But here's the thing that you're forgetting. In the process of self-development, each person, you, everybody has a responsibility. And that responsibility for me is to be the best leader that can be. But for you, it's to be the best version of you that you can be and to respond to your leadership. Okay. Losers will sit there and complain about how their leadership coaches them.

Winners might not like how their leadership is coaching them, but instead of bitching and moaning and crying, they understand that they have a responsibility to themselves and to every single person that will ever look up to them in their entire lives to be coachable. Because if you're not coachable, you can't win. And that means you can't use shitty excuses like my coach's personality is bad or my coach's approach, you know, he just doesn't understand me and all this other bullshit that we're hearing all over this pussified fucking society. Okay? You have to accept the responsibility for your own self-development. You have to accept that there is going to be pain associated with growing personally and professionally.

And you have to want to know what the truth is and have that truth spoken to you so that no matter how much it hurts your ego, you could take the information and become an elite achiever.