REAL AF with Andy Frisella - Two Of The Most Powerful Words, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO34

Episode Date: December 22, 2015

What are two of the most powerful words in the English language? According to Andy Frisella, they are "Thank" and "You." Whether you're pursuing success in business or happiness in life, cultivating gratitude is essential.

Hey guys, this is Vaughn Kohler and you're listening to the MFCEO Project featuring Andy Frisella, the man who delivers the truth so heavily that every word he speaks weighs a thousand pounds. Hey, it's the holidays. Are you grateful? Andy says that two of the most powerful words in the English language are thank and you. That's today's podcast. Hey guys, what's up? You're listening to the MFCEO Project. I'm your host,, I'm going to work I know, it sucks. Like weird, not holiday feeling. Yeah. You know? Yeah. I see the Christmas lights up and I feel hot.

Those things don't go together for people that live in like traditional climate zones. You know what I mean? Yeah, you look hot. You just, you know. What? Anyway, so today, today, you know, I was thinking, we were talking before we started about how different the childhood experience is now versus like when we grew up, you know, and I know I talk a lot about video games and people like, oh, play video games to waste time and blah, blah, blah. But like, whose fault is that? Really?

You know what i'm saying like nowadays you know when i was a kid man like we'd be out in the yard like digging holes you know what i'm saying like just doing shit like dig that called in for dinner yeah right man like like the lights came on it's time to go in to eat you know what i mean we'd like my dad gave us like a box of nails and like a two by four and like we would fucking make a go-kart out of it you know what i mean we would just do shit. Nowadays, like you show a kid a fucking hammer, he doesn't know what it is. Yeah. You know what I mean?

But he knows what a fucking thermonuclear weapon is from Call of Duty. You know what I mean? Like, what does it deal with? I mean, I don't have any kids, so I'm asking, you know, like Ben, you would know, like, I mean, what is it? I walk home from a day of work i walk in from a a trip from speaking or whatever it might be and my son wants that ipad before he wants to give me a hug

yeah but i gotta straighten that kid out and say boy you better come over here and tell your dad hello before you go for that ipad it's it's it's a wild world i never thought it would be like it's like yeah but think about like raising a kid now you know you just fucking buy them a couple of those you know games and fucking let them go and they go for 12 hours straight did you guys play army when you were little yeah man yeah i don't feel like anybody plays oh we play guns yeah nobody plays army anymore you can't play fucking tag anymore man it's assault gi joe used to be the big thing you know you could buy those remember those plastic m16s you could buy that was pretty cool dude remember laser tag oh yeah dude laser tag yeah dude you i don't even know i was wondering

this we live right up the street from toys r us and i was wondering like do they even sell toy guns anymore like can you buy toy guns i think i like laser guns things that look clearly like they're like fucking neon yellow right they're not like yeah no they're not they're not authentic or anything they're not m16s or yeah jailbreak jailbreak you never played jailbreak what is that one of those hot box hot box that sounds you guys oh man really man you're one of them weirdos hot box was a baseball game. You ran from one point to one point? Yeah.

Yeah, dude, we were baseball players, so we played baseball in the backyard every day. You know what I mean? We played with a tennis ball and a stickball bat. Yeah. Okay, actually, here's the question for Andy, and you will lose all credibility if you can't answer this. On the original Tecmo Bowl game, who was the player that was ridiculously better

than everybody else on that game? The original Tecmo Bowl. The original Tecmo Bowl. I think it was either Herschel Walker or it was Lawrence Taylor. What do you think, Ben? Bo Jackson. It was Bo Jackson.

Yeah, and there was also one that was... Well, you gave that ball to Bo Jackson and it was game over. Was it? That and then when they came out with the next version of it that had Deion Sanders, it was ridiculous. Like everybody else was about six times slower than Deion. But like, dude, even when we all played video games, we were kids, we still did other shit. Now I feel like the kids just fucking play video games.

Yeah. Like they don't do anything else. And like what what you know what is that going to end up being you know i mean what what is that going to produce you know i don't know i'm picturing uh andy's kids opening up their presents christmas morning and getting like a hammer fuck yeah just different tools i will shop at home depot man they're gonna get like a fucking they're gonna get like a tool belt, like a fucking hand. Dude, that shit's cool. Dude, I still walk through Home Depot and buy shit I don't need because it's like cool.

They're going to get pallets of bricks. Dude. And then they're going to get. If you're a man and you can walk through Home Depot without wanting to buy shit that you don't need, you're not a fucking man. That's true. Period. That's true.

You start growing your vagina right now. You know I'm right. Dude, you know I'm right. you know i'm right that's true vaughn you probably know from experience i'm right huh growing that vagina for a while well it's taken a while but i've got i've got it perfected so anyway look here we are all right we're we're we're a couple days away from christmas um you know part of what like got me talking about the video games earlier was that we have, you know, every year, man, it's, what is it like? It used to be black Friday was the day

Christmas started and Christmas lights went up. Now it's like, you know, October 1st, you're hearing fucking 24 hour day Christmas music before it's even Halloween and you're seeing Christmas sales in fucking August I mean it's just turned into like this huge commercialized you know extravaganza to make a profit you know and I don't know man like I feel like you know what I want to talk about today is it goes along with like the true meaning of Christmas. I realize not everybody here is a Christian, but I mean, everybody could get down with like being good to one another and having some gratitude for what, you know, you have in life and spending time with people that matter and not putting all your focus on material items. I mean, you know, and I know the fucking douchebag out there right now. So, dude, do you drive Lamborghinis to talk about material items?

Yeah, motherfucker. I also drove pieces of shit for longer than you've been born. All right. So exactly. The reality of the situation is that, you know, people get lost in the in the idea of what it means, you know, to have gratitude. Right. You know, and that's, that's what I wanted to kind of dig into today because I feel like as a society, especially when you're a success minded, aggressive, hustle minded person, it's easy to let the idea of gratitude slip through your fingers.

And because you're always focused on what you're going to do next and what you don't have and how much progress you need to make that you lose sight of what you have and that's a dangerous place to be because when you get in that place of of losing sight of how good you truly do have it you become pretty miserable because you're in a zone of having wanting things that you don't have whether it be progress whether it be material items or income or whatever, and you're not appreciating how good you have it on top of that or how far you've come. And it's a dangerous balance slash slippery slope for, I think, a lot of entrepreneurial

minded people, success minded people, where they get in a zone of total frustration because they're not where they want to be, when in reality, where they are is a thousand times better than where they get in a zone of total frustration because they're not where they want to be. When in reality, you know, where they are is a thousand times better than where they started. Right. You know what I mean? And I think people lose sight of that. It doesn't have to do with just gifts or anything. I just figure like with Christmas being a couple days away, it's probably a good idea to, you know, bring this topic up.

Because I see it a lot. Can I make a request? Yeah. Well, in the spirit of Christmas, you know, you got the Christmas lists. I actually just put together a list of all the things that you've said kind of over the years about, well, maybe over the year, about thankfulness and gratitude. So I'm going to just kind of feed you that list and you can, you know. Hey, man. You can wax eloquent on that.

You know, it's. I just think it's something people struggle with. Ben can add fire to the i mean you know like you deal with a lot of guys too like i i deal with a lot of guys who come to me completely frustrated and i look at them and from an outside point of view and i'm like bro you're fucking killing it like you're doing a great job and they're like completely frustrated because they're unable to be thankful for what they've accomplished or what they have or what they're they've been you know blessed with um in terms of you know where they are in life and from where they started you know what i mean they're unable to recognize that

and there's two ways to look at that you know some people are like well i always want to look far i never want to look back but i found that ultimately that creates a lot of frustration for people. My perspective comes from my mom. I mean, many of you know, listening, that I lost my mom 11 days before my eighth birthday. She left a journal behind that was where she unleashed her positive mental attitude. And she had a part in her journal that said, why did it take me getting sick to appreciate all the most important relationships in my life? And so it's hard for me to say that. But, you know, it's also my mother's transparency that's so powerful

to actually write that in the journal, knowing it would come to, you know, to me one day that we can't wait. You can't wait to get sick. Like wherever you are in terms of success for you, you do have to celebrate it. You do have to appreciate it. You have to be grateful for it. Don't spend too much time there because you got to continue to work but don't forget that to count the blessings and to be grateful for the people that are in your life dude i had a real i had an experience a few

years ago um and it wasn't me getting stabbed which we've told that story before but it was i don't know if we've even talked about this before but i a, I was getting real bad headaches and anxiety and like numbness in my fingertips and just, just weird shit going on. Um, with my body, I don't know, it was 2012 right before I got married. And, um, I was getting these super bad headaches. And so I went into the doctor and he didn't know what was going on. So then he referred me to a neuro specialist. I went into them, they did a cat scan and they found a mass of my brain that was abnormal okay they didn't know what it was they didn't know if it was a tumor if it was a a cyst what if it was supposed to be there if it wasn't

supposed to be there so for two weeks I had to wait until they could figure out what it was and during those two weeks I'm thinking like fuck dude i got brain cancer i'm gonna fucking die you know what i mean and dude it ended up being a pineal cyst which apparently you're born with and it's just supposed to be there i guess on some people um and the moral of the story is during those two weeks dude i i remember looking at myself in the mirror and think of God dude you know look at all look at all the life experience that you've wasted and that you've that you've not I don't know like I just looked around and what I all the shit that everybody else sees I accomplished I'm like fuck that's not even what it's about you know what I mean it was like it was like almost like you know I don't know it was like almost like God's way of putting shit in perspective for me absolutely you know what i mean and like saying hey dude you need to like

appreciate some of this other shit that you have and um you know that kind of got me back in line in terms of of being appreciative for you know things that other than the bottom line of the company you know what i mean and And, um, you know, I'm thankful for that happening because it helped me see that. But the truth of the matter is a lot of people never get that wake up. You know what I mean? A lot of people never get a slap in the face and they have a hard time seeing how good they have it compared to other people.

You know what I mean? Which keeps them in a fucking frustrated, you know, zone where they can't feel good. Last week I went back to Manhattan, Kansas, where I used to live for about nine years because one of the guys that had been in my church, dude was like 49, and all of a sudden he died of a heart attack.

And not to continue the morbid emphasis on death here, but I was really inspired because I went like, I went, I mean, I'm, my heart breaks for his family and everything, but like this place that the whole church, it was standing room only. And he was very successful. I mean, he was an instructor at K state, but really he had lived his life to prioritize people. He had lived his life to, to, to be characterized by the right things, you know, being thankful to people. And it, and it's just, I don't know, like I drove home really impacted going, all right, I don't want to die a total loser. Like I want to die having treated people really well. I want to have, have committed my life to the right things. And, uh, sometimes, I mean, it is morbid, but sometimes like what you

say, you had a brush with thinking you were going to die. I actually went to a funeral. Ben, you experienced the loss of your mom. I mean, there's a common thread there and that is we're not going to be here all, you know, we're not going to be here. And I think a lot of people lose sight of it. Yeah. And so it's, it's, it's a tough thing to think about sometime, but I, it's, it's important to, to, to think about that. Well, the thing, and when we talk about gratitude, like that's what we're talking about, right? Like we're talking about, right? Like we're talking about getting in a state or a mind state of gratitude.

The reality is, you know, this is a success-based podcast. And having a mindset of gratitude is crucial and important to having success. It's not a feel-good, fuzzy, you know, butterflies thing. You know what I mean? Right. Like, you know, I don't, I'm not down with that shit fuzzy, you know, butterflies thing. You know what I mean? Like, you know, I don't, I'm not down with that shit usually, you know, and the truth of it is, is that if you're not able to mentally put yourself in a state of gratitude on purpose, you're going to have a very frustrating time moving forward,

which actually contributes to, you know, you either changing your mind or quitting or being discouraged or having all the negative emotions that you have with a struggle because success is a struggle for everybody. So if you can't consciously put yourself into a state of being thankful for where you are, the opportunities you have, the successes you've had on demand, which is what we're going to talk about here in a little bit, you're going to have a very hard time being successful, if not being impossible to be successful, because what's going to happen is you're going to get, you're going

to go down the path. You're going to, you're going to deal with the struggles. You're going to get frustrated. You're going to feel like the whole world's against you. You're going to feel depressed. You're going to feel angry. You're going to feel, you know, mad. And you're going to eventually say, fuck this.

I'm going to do something else. Yeah. Yeah. You know, so let's start at the most basic level because I, on the first, the first quote from you on my list is, is a good one. It's one I've heard you say again and again. And that is that thank you are the two most powerful words in the English language. And I I've heard, I've heard you long enough to know that when, when you say powerful, you mean they're motivating, they're motivating. So what, I mean, what do you mean by that? Like how, how does somebody

harness the power of thank you? Is that for your own life or is, or I'm sorry, is that just for your own life or is that also in the way that you relate to other people and motivate other people and work with them in, in a business setting? Well, first of all, it's both, right? It feels good to thank somebody who's doing a good job. You know, when you recognize somebody and say, Hey, you know, thank you. You're doing a good job. You know, when you recognize somebody and say, hey, you know, thank you. You're doing a good job. Thank you. You did this for me.

And just giving that gratitude feels good. It helps put you in a place of a more steady personality, you know, I guess, you know, I don't know how to say it, but it just puts you in a good place. But also, you know, if you're in a work environment, you know, thank you could be looked at as like a currency. And this is how I look at it. You know, like when somebody is doing a good job, you know, it's not very practical to walk around with fucking $50 bills and say, Hey, here, Hey, here, Hey, here, you know, you did a good job. And like, it's thank you you a genuine thank you could be

thought of as currency when it comes to like your employees or your co-workers or your superiors because people appreciate being appreciated you know and a lot of times you know especially with like certain employees you're going to have their idea of success isn't the same idea of success that you have so their idea of success might not be I'm going to be a millionaire maybe their idea of success. Isn't the same idea of success that you have. So their idea of success might not be, I'm going to be a millionaire. Maybe their idea of success, I'm going to make 50, $60,000 and I'm going to have all this free time to spend with my family. So they're not money orientated. So whenever you say, thank you, I appreciate you. You know, you, you could give a lot of value there without, you know, even more value than it would be to say, here's a $10,000 bonus to them. They don't value thing. It took me a long time to figure that out because like i was always very

money motivated um but as as a superior and as as somebody who is uh running a company you know learning how to say thank you and meaning it uh and showing it on a regular basis is extremely important skill you know i think saying it and meaning it is a really really important yeah dude everybody knows when you mean it and when you don't mean it one of the things i try to do is i never i will never shortchange or shortcut thank you it's like in a text message to people on our team because so much business today is done via email or text message i i am very intentional to never put thx for thanks i always put thank you like i i may shortcut some things in terms of shortening them but i will always spell out thank you

because those words are so powerful well it's you know and people don't it's like the phrase i love you like people are so used to saying they don't fucking mean it right you know what i mean and it's the same thing you know when you give somebody a firm handshake you look them in the eye and you say thank you very much man you're doing a great job i really appreciate the effort that you're putting in dude that could be more impactful than a raise it could be more impactful than you know recognition amongst the company it just is a genuine thing that makes both parties respect each other more and and feel good and ultimately become more productive together as a team. So what would you say to the guy who says,

Andy, you say thank you for a gift or you say thank you for a favor. The point is that people who do work for you are earning money. So why should I say thank you? I pay them. That should be enough. I mean, if you want to think that way, you're thinking that's the old school way of business. You know what I mean? Right.

The reality of the situation nowadays is that there's too many companies that are willing to recognize somebody and understand this level of relation. I mean, dude, you got to think about how business has evolved, man. It's evolved from basically, you know, indentured servitude or even slave labor. Like, you know, you get paid a penny a week to work for my and you're fucking lucky to have a job well it's evolved to where now you know if you don't value your employees or you don't create a culture of valuing your employees there's plenty other options out there you know what i mean there's not everybody here starving you know the reality i mean fucking government i don't want to get into it, but fucking,

dude, they pay just as much minimum wage now. You know what I mean? So if you want to keep your employees in a good place and productive, and I think that's the difference, right? Like, you know, people who have that attitude of, oh, well, you're lucky to have a job here and my reward, your reward is you get paid. They're going to produce X. Well, and if you came to work or they come to work and you appreciate them

and you show them value and you show them that they're appreciated, they're going to produce X plus. And if you're really good at doing it, they're going to be X plus plus. So it's all about what you want to get on your return for investment. And to be completely honest, if you're a businessman who thinks like what you just said and you're missing out on X plus plus because you're too fucking stubborn to understand the value of appreciating people, you're not a good businessman. It's the same as returning. Would you would you rather put your money in an account that produced 7 percent interest or one that produced 11 percent interest?

You know what I mean? Right. It's the same thing. Right. So I run into a lot of guys who have big, giant egos who think that's, you know, dude, these guys are lucky to fucking work for me. No, motherfucker. You're lucky to be in a position to have them work for you. You know? Yeah. So obviously it's entrepreneurial podcast. And and I know that you've had a lot of people, and this is to the second point on my list. I know you've had a lot of people say, Annie, I'm at my best. I'm at my peak when I'm really pissed off, when I'm angry, when I just want to prove people wrong. And I've heard you say, and this is, you know, the second quote on the list. I've heard you say that like

anger and getting pissed off, you know, that works a little bit, but in the longterm, it's not going to work. In the longterm, you have to fuel your motivation by gratitude well or with gratitude not everybody's wired different man you know i personally respond good to negative motivation like when i'm upset i work fucking hard i come up with good ideas when i'm frustrated i come up with good ideas that's because i'm good at personally at taking negative emotion and turning it into productive action. All right. So listen, what I just said, taking negative emotion, turning into productive action, huge key for most people, if they want to learn how to be successful, because things aren't always going to go your fucking way. You know what I mean? And most

people take the negative emotion and they go home and they cry and stick their head in their fucking sand, you know? So I'm a little different than most people, but, you know, as you work on your goals, you know, you're always going to be looking forward. The focus is always going to be what's ahead. And you have to think about, are you still going to feel good when all your goals are out of reach about where you are? This is kind of what I said

whenever we were in the beginning of the podcast is like successful people are so success minded and so focused on what they don't have yet that they ignore everything they do have, which puts you in a state of total frustration of driving yourself insane. And if you sit in that space long enough, you're going to quit.

You're going gonna find something else you can only take so much of it trust me i know you know you're gonna have a nervous breakdown you're gonna quit you're gonna do something you know that makes no sense that's a total reactive move um you're not gonna be able to keep your strategy together you're not gonna be able to keep the respect of your employees it's just a bad place to be you know what i mean because like dude what happens when you're in that frustrated zone is you come into your work and you you know you yell at everybody for no fucking reason you just become a piece of shit to be around right so it's important to remember on a daily basis what it is that you have that's you know that you should be grateful for does that

whole balance between you know the anger and the negative emotion that you should be grateful for. Does that whole balance between, you know, the anger and the negative emotion that you turn into positive? Does, does that on the one hand and then, and then contentment on the other hand and, and gratitude on, you know, along with contentment, does that figure into your whole concept of aggressive patience? Well, yeah, because here's the thing. First of all, aggressive patience. If you haven't listened before, it's a concept that I've come up with. The idea of time is always going to be a factor in your progress, and you have to understand that, and you have to be patient.

And during that lag time when you're waiting for things to actually materialize, you've got to be aggressive and do every little thing that you possibly can. So that's what aggressive patient means in a nutshell um but yes you know there's two sides to being grateful there's the side of it keeping you sane because you're so aggressive you know and you're you're being frustrated because you're not where you want to be you're impatient you want to grow you want to do this let's take a step back and be grateful for what we have and what we have accomplished and the opportunities we do have in front of us is very very similar to the idea of

aggressive patience because if you don't a lot of people will focus on the gratitude so hard that they become content with what they have you know what what I mean? So instead of being aggressive, they just become, you know, they, I think a lot of people tell themselves they're, I'm just being patient or I'm just, you know, taking it day by day when in reality, you know, they're just happy where they are. I think a lot of times that happens when they're about to face adversity or they can see adversity, that content behavior comes in. I've just, yeah, I've just, I'll say I'm grateful for being here rather than recognizing that through the tough times, when you focus on solutions rather than problems, which is really the mindset I've found with the most successful people, when you look back on the situations, you may not feel grateful for it then,

but some of the no's and rejection I faced in my life, I am so grateful. Best things ever happen to you. So grateful. I mean, I was engaged for 13 hours 13 freaking hours right fucking I'm sorry Vaughn before you before you catch there I was engaged for 13 hours I look back now that is the greatest no I've ever heard in my life I would not be sitting here with all of you I would not be on this podcast right now if that girl would have said yes past the 13 hours right I am so grateful.

I think back to 2010, a period of time in business where when I was in the midst of it, I wanted to quit. I felt like I was alone. I'm paying thousands upon thousands of dollars. I mean, I had this wild success in the insurance and investment business, finally hit some hardship. And now when I look back on it, I'm so grateful because it made me human. It made me be able to connect with an audience to connect with people to go I know what it's like to want to just absolutely quit and be done and then all the people who truly care about you they're the ones who come out in those moments they're the ones who pick you up off that mat alive so I'm grateful I've

gone through business adversity I'm grateful that I heard no after 13 hours from the girl that I was engaged to because it gives you the life that you have. Yeah, man. I think that's when you really have gratitude kind of mastered, you know, is whenever you can look at like even the most negative situations that people would say, oh, my God, that's such a huge tragedy. And you could find the good lesson in that. You know what I mean?

Which goes into the same thing we talk about with failure. such a huge tragedy and you could find the good lesson in that you know what i mean which goes into the same thing we talk about with failure when people fail and then they it either shuts them down completely or they're able to recognize the lesson they learn and move forward in a productive manner gratitude mastering the idea of gratitude is right along those same tracks. I think, you know, I mean, you have to be able to look, to teach yourself, to look for the good. And, you know, I think that's an acquired habit. I don't think it's something people born with, you know, I wasn't always like that, like bad shit used to happen. I'd be like, Oh my God, you know, this is terrible. I can't believe this happened, you know, and just like everybody else does. And now when, when bad things happen, you know this is terrible I can't believe this happened you know and just like everybody else does and now when bad when bad things happen you know I almost immediately within you know

an instant I start thinking all right well what do we learn about this what do we you know what's what are we going to use to move forward another point to clarify because I know you're very clear on this when people misunderstand like for instance when you get stabbed you're not going around saying oh I'm so glad I got stabbed, you're not going around saying, oh, I'm so glad I got stabbed. So you're not necessarily thankful for what happened. You're thankful for the good that came a result of what happened. And so I think that's a key. I mean, we're not telling people to go around, you know, I don't know, they lose their job.

Man, I'm so thankful I lost my job. No, but you can turn it into a productive asset in your personality by figuring out why you lost your job you know what can you do not lose your next job and moving forward with those tools and finding a positive solution right that type of mindset andy's talking about and then you just have faith and belief that it's going to work out right that you're going to get past the negativity right you're not going to live you're not going to lose your job and then never get another job. Right. I mean, for some people, they're challenged right now in the workforce. But you just you can't hold on to it.

You got to find ways to move forward and be positive. Right. I think one of the funnier points that you've made on this, Andy, is another reason you have to be grateful is that if you're the kind of person that's always aggressive, always pissed off that you're not where you need to be, man, nobody's going to want to be around you. Yeah. It's, uh, I've experienced that personally. Yeah.

You know what I mean? It's, uh, when you're an ambitious person and you're hungry for success and that's all you really are focused on, um, it can wear people out pretty quick. You know what I mean? Because a lot of people do not have that drive at that same level and you need other people to be successful. If you're going to run a company, you need a team and everybody on your team runs at a different temperature. You know what I mean? Some people run at boiling point like myself. Some people run at

fucking 75 degrees and sunny you know what i mean you have to figure out how to manage all those different all those different temperatures and the reality of it is is those people who run at 75 degrees and sunny they're good for you too you know just because they're not going crazy on a daily basis they're able to look at a situation i found you know in a very even keel manner and find solutions sometimes more effectively than what you can, because you're so wound up, you know, and you have to be thankful for all those different kinds of people and what they bring. You know, I learned a long time ago. I mean, I made a habit of being thankful, you know, my,

my, every night before I go to bed, you know, I thank God for everything that I've been blessed with. Um, and every morning when I wake up, I do the same, you know what I mean? When I'm brushing my teeth, I'm, you know, getting out of the shower and brushing my teeth. I start thinking about the things that I'm grateful for. You know what I mean? And, and, and that gets you in a mindset. I feel in a, in a productive mindset to where you're able to walk out the front door balanced, you know, and in a situation where you can make clear decisions and where you can, you know, feel good about, you know, taking that small step forward and not be frustrated

about not taking a giant step forward. You know, and it's something I've had to learn. You know, if you're out there listening, if you're an ambitious person, you know what I'm talking about when I say running a boiling point. You know, it's frustrating not to have a fucking bank account

that doesn't have $10 million in it. You know, it's frustrating to have, you know, not have the houses or the cars or the fucking company or the respect or whenever you're on your first, you know, five years in business. It's, you know, five years in business, it's, you know,

but you've got to, you've got to remember that every day is a step forward. Every day is a day that, that, that you're moving forward and moving ahead. And you have to remember that this is a marathon, not a fucking sprint. You know what I mean?

It's just not. And also I think be grateful for the challenges that are on the path. You don't want the easy path if you want the easy path you're never going to achieve these dude the funny things that you see the funny thing about the easy path is is that everybody takes it because it's the quote-unquote the easy path and the reality of the easy path is there's so many more people on the easy path that it creates more competition so if you take the fucking hard path you might learn you might be a little bit harder up front,

and you might have to learn these lessons in a hard way and get punched in the face a couple times. But there's far less people on the hard path than there is on the easy path, which makes it less competition. People forget that. So here's a question I have for both of you guys. We have all seen, we've all experienced the guy who, I don't know, he got into a massive car wreck, you know, and his entire family died and he is, you know, scarred, maybe in the face, maybe he lost the use of his limbs. And as you look at that guy, there is some sort of just, I would say, almost supernatural gratitude to that guy. Like he's living his life with, with ridiculous amounts

of positivity. Then you contrast that with somebody else who actually has a pretty easy life, who actually makes a pretty good living, has really everything they need. And yet they are just full of complaining, full of bitching. What literally, what, why is it that one person who experiences so much heartache in life and so much loss can actually respond with gratitude? But the other person whose life is full of stuff is like just basically flipping off the world. What makes the difference? It's a matter of perspective. You know, if you're the person who's lost both your legs and gone through some serious shit in a car accident or lost your whole family or whatever,

you understand how tough things really are. You know, the person who's never been challenged or never been faced with adversity or never had somebody, you know, or had life just, you know, drop a shit bomb on their head, they don't know any better. It's like getting in a fucking, you know, they get in the perfect temperature pool and it's just perfect their whole life. You know, whereas the dude with the legs, you know, that that lost his legs he's getting in a pool that's 30 degrees he's like fuck dude i don't want to get that 30 degree pool i like that 70 degree pool you know what i mean yeah so they have perspective and that's just all it is you know i i know exactly

what you're talking about i know people on both both people i know like we all know both those people you know and it's the reality is is you don't really know how good you have it until life just beats the shit out of you and I think that's what it comes I mean I mean I think that's what it comes down to perspective is the exact word I was going to say yeah it was the exact word I was going to say it's you know my experience with my mother gave me perspective right and there's other things that happened in my childhood and you know some people would look at when they knew my full story and they'd go, oh gosh, I mean, if he was on drugs, drinking, nobody would ever blame me. But you know what? It was the perspective that I got

to continue to fight for my mom, right? I got to continue to fight for bigger things with the talents that I have been given to go out and make a difference and to stay positive. That's a choice. I think of my dear friend friend John O'Leary. He's one of the best speakers in the world today. Guy was burned on 99% of his body when he was nine years old, given a half a percent chance of making it through the first night. I mean, the guy has no hands. You know what?

He texts messages. We've been on the road speaking before. We were in Atlanta. I'll never forget. We were on a quick layover for heading over to the Carolinas. And he's like, Hey, you hungry? You want a sandwich? And I said, yeah. And he, he pops up, he runs over, gets the sandwich. I mean, the bags are hanging from his arm, but he's like, I'm going to go right. Pays with a credit card. He lets nothing hold him back, but that's his positive choice to say, I don't care what the world threw at me.

I'm going to take this perspective and I'm going to make something of my life. I'm not going to walk around having people feel sorry for me. It drives him nuts if everybody tries to tell him you have a disability, you have this. There's nothing wrong with that human being. He's one of the most powerful people I've ever met in my life. I think along with that, one of the things I've noticed about people is that they don't, in those moments, even if something really, really bad happens to them, there's something about them that they don't take themselves too seriously. I think, Andy, you've told the story before about, well, the whole story about how you got stabbed,

but I would love for you to tell briefly the segment of the story where you walked into the grocery store and you were sort of sensitive about your face, and then that lady said something to you that was really funny, and it was almost like she was poking fun well everybody laughing dude everybody used to come to me that i hadn't seen in a while you know i had 160 stitches in my face okay um my face was swollen the size of a fucking grapefruit all right and everybody used to say they'd either look at the floor or they would look at you with like huge eyes and they say dude what happened to your face so you know it i worked at a retail counter at our first store so i'm like

dealing with this non-stop either people won't look at me which annoys the fuck out of me like dude fucking look at me okay second of all you know then it would be like dude what happened to your face and i'm like well why don't you mind your own fucking business so like nobody could do it right for me right because i was pissed off i was pissed off of the world and uh and and so you know ever it wasn't their fault it was the way i was perceiving it you know people are curious you know or people were uncomfortable that's not my that's not them being that's just them and you know i looked at it as them insulting me. It's perspective, right? Right. So I'm going down the grocery cart aisle or the grocery store aisle.

And I was going around the corner of the grocery store. And I bumped carts. And this lady was coming. Well, I didn't know if it was a lady or man. We bumped carts. And, you know, like this lady was coming. Well, I didn't know if it was a lady or man. We bumped carts. I looked up and it ended up being a lady. But she goes, dude, what happened to your face?

And the thing was is like her face was completely like burned off. Like you could not tell if it was a man or a woman. And it ended up being a woman. But the fact of the matter was she knew that I knew that what people fucking did and the way they acted and she made a joke out of it. You know what I mean? Which shows a great attitude.

Oh, yeah, dude. She was cool as fuck. She survived a plane crash. She was the only survivor of a plane crash. I'll never forget talking to her. I wish I still kept in touch with her, but we talked for five, ten minutes

and it's something I'll never forget. But it taught me instantly, like, dude, this is perspective, right? It's could be way worse. And here's somebody with something that I perceived as worse than what I had that put me right in check where it's like, dude, you're being a pussy, you know? And immediately all the depression, all the frustration, all the judgment of other people saying what they were saying to me went away. And so where people would now say, you know, those same things like, Hey, what happened to your face? Or they look at the ground. Yeah. I would just tell them what happened. I'd be like, Hey dude, you don't have to look at the ground, man. I just got a fucking accident. It's no big deal. And I make a joke out of it. People were like, Oh man, you know,

and they'd be embarrassed, but it was good because it would clear it up right away. Cause people know how to act. You know, you You know, you see people look at people who are in a wheelchair or they have some sort of disease and they're on, you know, and they'll like look at them and they'll look away real quick. Like, dude, that's not, that doesn't, don't do that. If you fucking do that, don't do that. Because it makes people feel like shit. You know, acknowledge them as normal humans because they are normal humans.

I have to say the same applies when you're driving down the road or you're like maybe somewhere in the city and you encounter a homeless person or somebody on the, don't look away. Don't act like they're not there. To me, that's the same principle. Dude, look, man,

it's natural reaction. People just aren't comfortable with the situation, but I'm just telling you from the experience I've had in life that it doesn't feel good when you're on the receiving end of that. You know, shake somebody's hand,

say, how you doing? Treat them like a normal fucking person. Right. Well, guys, if you want the show notes for this episode, it's the MFCEO.com forward slash P34. I want to mention just real quickly that some of you have noticed we've had a couple of times where we don't have episodes. We are gearing up for a really exciting 2016.

We've got some incredible guests lined up. So stay tuned in and stay listening. I know you will. We've got a bunch of loyal followers, but I'm just excited about that. And yeah, Andy, as we wrap up, I just wanted to get your thoughts on two things. One is that you often talk about how gratitude goes hand in hand with another quality that you think is absolutely indispensable to an entrepreneur, and that's humility. And then the second thing is if you could just tell people, share some ways that they can show gratitude to the people that they work with and people that they lead. Before Andy finishes, can I just mention one thing? I just want to say thank you to everybody listening right now.

Enjoy the holiday seasons with your family and a big thank you from all of us because of the fire the conviction the passion the interaction you guys show with each other online and that you show to all of us gives us fire and energy to keep going yeah i don't think anybody realizes how much we draw from you guys listening i mean a lot of the things that we come to talk about, a lot of things that we bring up, they come from conversations that we've had on Instagram or on Periscope or on Facebook. And, you know, we're very fortunate to have had the success that we've had. But I think, you know, you guys listening have to understand that that all comes from you guys, not just because you listen, but because you interact, you offer feedback, you, you poke us in ways that make us respond certain ways and do we're appreciative for that.

You know, absolutely. One of the things that we've said before in this show is your, your peer group determines whether you dominate or do nothing. And I, for one can say that I have upped my game because of the example of the fans and the people that listened to the MFCEO project. You guys have raised the standard. Well, dude, and a lot of times, you know, you guys don't realize, like, you know, I have those bad days just like anybody. And Vaughn, you have them. Ben, you have them.

Everybody has them. There's days where I come to the office and I'm like, fuck this, dude. I don't want to do this shit. I'm fucking tired of it, you know, for real. And I'm just being real. Most people won't admit that. I get frustrated because I'm a product of what we're talking about in this podcast. I'm so ambitious and so hungry and so on fire all the time that dude, I get burnt. And you know,

a lot of times, man, I come in the office and I feel that way too. It never fails. It's really actually kind of eerie how it happens. I'll come into office and I'll go and I'll go me and chris now we share an office because our company has grown to a point where i don't have an office anymore believe it or not but i go in there and there'll be a fucking like stack of letters from people who listen to the show and i'll open one up and i'll read it and i'm like fuck dude this is why i do this shit you know what i mean and for that i'm very very thankful and appreciative because i and a lot of you guys don't realize that how much that fuels me to keep going down the path that I'm going. You know, so it's it's it's a mutual relationship that we have going on here. It's very cool.

So but yeah, you know, closing up on gratitude, guys, here's the reality of the situation. You have to have gratitude succeed because if you don't you will burn out all right and if you don't have gratitude what will happen Vaughn you mentioned the humility what will happen is you'll start believing your own headlines and we all see this we see entrepreneurs like this all the time they become successful and they say shit like wow you know I, you know, I'm not, I earned this all myself. I did this all myself. I'm the, I'm blah, blah, blah. I'm the best at what I do. This, that, the other, and they're always tooting their own horns. Well, what happens is, is they start believing that

shit. All right. A lot of people say that shit in the beginning to get them pumped up and give them a sense of confidence. But what happens when you start believing it is that you lose the ability to look at how great, how grateful you should be for the people that surround you, how grateful you should be for the interactions you have, the opportunities you have, the success that you had, and you lose the ability to learn because you think it's all you, and you don't realize how much these people and these situations and these circumstances has contributed to your success. So being able to put yourself in a state of gratitude on a regular basis is extremely important because if you don't, you're going to lose the ability to stay humble, which means you

lose the ability to learn, which means you lose the ability to stay ahead of your competition. So it's not just a feel good, fluffy thing. It's something you have to have to be successful. Okay. And, and, and if we talk about practical ways to be how to shift your mindset into this gratitude uh state of mind you know it's different for everybody you know i i like to think back at night i do two things i i i pray for you know not for uh things but to say thank you for what i have you know a lot of lot of people, you know, the only time they are in like, dude, you know, if you're not religious or you don't believe in God, this is fine. This is my personal thing. But the reality is, is I pray and I say, Hey, you know, thanks

for all these. And I list out all the things I'm thankful for. And I don't ask for anything. Okay. I just pray for the things that I'm thankful for and then when i'm done with that That's when I go into my visualization of how What my life is going to be like two three five years from now and I visualize myself Doing the things that I want to do actually in the moment of my goals So I I mix the gratitude and the ambition together Okay at night the other thing I do is i've made a habit when I brush my, I've, I've associated brushing my teeth with being grateful. All right. So when I start brushing my teeth in the morning and I look myself in the mirror and I'm brushing my teeth, I'm automatically

starting to think about, all right, look, dude, you've used, you used to sleep on the floor of a fucking retail store. Now, no matter how frustrated you are with last night's numbers performance or this that's going on or this or that you're fucking driving to work in a motherfucking Rolls Royce. You're doing all right, brother. You know what I mean? And I start thinking about, you know, my family and my brother and my dad and my mom and the people, you know, the friends I have here at the office, the family I have, you know, the supports me. I mean, and I start to run through all that, you know, and dude, you walk out, and I start to run through all that, you know, and, dude, you walk out of the door feeling great, you know what I mean?

And it puts you in a state of mind to succeed, all right? And, you know, I just thought this would be something good to talk about with Christmas coming up and everybody get caught up in the fucking, you know, buy me shit mindset. Dude, be thankful for what you have. Look around. Have a fucking beer with your family. If you don't drink beer, have a fucking water. I don't give a shit, but dude, appreciate the time that you're having. You know, dude, we're in the greatest time in the history of earth, dude. There's more opportunity than we could ever have. You know, go to your, you know, go to your family functions,

appreciate the time and be grateful. You know, that's what this is about. It's not about buying shit. It's not about playing fucking video games. It's about feeling good about where you are, where you've come from, and the opportunities you have moving forward. And that's that. All I do is work, work, work. Never run to sidelines. I only hustle. I'll never take your day off.

I only work, work, work.