REAL AF with Andy Frisella - WINNERS WIN AND LOSERS LOSE: The Hard Truth About Happiness, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO277

Episode Date: December 6, 2018

There are people in life who have been given opportunities & given every possible advantage & guess what? They still lose. And they are miserable. Then there are those who didn't grow up with a good family & didn't have any of the resources that most people do & had tons of really bad sh*t happen to them...but guess what? In spite of all that, they find a way to WIN. And those people are happy. They are proud of who they are. Which kind of person are you? Be honest. Winner or loser? Miserable or happy?

I can stack them hundreds to the roof. I ain't stopping till they stack to the moon. Without me, my family wouldn't have food. Anybody go against me, gotta lose. What is up, guys? You're listening to the MFCEO Project. I'm Andy. I'm your host, and I am the motherfucking CEO. Guys, I know it's been a minute. I had a surgery about on November 26th. I've gotten tons of messages and DMs and you guys are like worried about me and think that I'm like going crazy and shit. And I might be, but that's not the reason for why I haven't been posting or anything. Just trying to get recovered, you know, feeling better. Today's the third day that I've been back at the office. And I decided I wanted to give you guys something to think about over the next, not just a few

days, but over the next however many years of your life. Yesterday, it was snowing here in St. Louis. It was snowing pretty hard. And I can't, the way, the, what surgery, I had multiple hernias, okay? And so I'm really stiff. And I'm really stiff. But God, dude, I'm such a child. I can't even fucking help it. I got Vaughn and Tyler here. They're fucking laughing at me. Anyway, because I'm so stiff, I've been driving my rolls, okay? And the reason I drive the rolls is because the rolls is very big on the inside. It's easy to get into and out of.

So it's snowing out. There's huge fucking snowflakes, snow on the ground. And right by my house, they've been working on the road for literally like seven months. Okay. And they're replacing a water line. This water line could have been replaced in literally one month, but it's been seven months. The road's destroyed. Shit's all over the place constantly. And they constantly have, you know, flaggers out there telling you to slow down, which is fine. Okay. I come from a working class family. I understand what it means to fucking work. I understand what it means to work in situations where people can get hurt. I also understand, uh, what it means to, um, you know, give courtesy to the people who are

working alongside of the road. I'm a thousand percent all about that. So I'm driving in the lane that they're not working on and there's only one car on the road. It's me. And on the left-hand side of the other side of the road, um, they're, they're in a, there's a hole and there's two guys inside the hole. And that's probably holes, probably five feet deep. So I can see like the tops of their heads. And the flagger guy is flagging me. Okay. And he's like, um, he's, he doesn't have a sign that says go slow. He's like waving me to slow down. Like, um, I'm trying to describe how he's doing both arms. And he's like in a downward motion, like slow down, slow down, slow down. So I slow down at this point in time, I'm going maybe 15 miles an hour. And so this guy starts waving his arms even faster and I'm going like 10 miles an hour. And as I pass the hole,

like right as I'm passing the hole, he goes, you're a fucking asshole. And I could see him mouth it through the fucking car. I fucking slammed on the brakes. I rolled down the window and I go, what'd you say? And he, and, and dude, I'm not some fucking tough guy. Okay. But I'm not going to deal with some fucking 70 year old fucking piece of shit. Who's mad because he's got to dig a fucking hole in the middle of winter in the snow because he didn't make the right choice in his fucking life.

So I rolled the window down. I go, what'd you say? He goes, I didn't make the right choice in his fucking life. So I rolled the window down. I go, what'd you say? He goes, I didn't say anything. And I said, I bet you thought I was like a 70 year old man driving this car. Didn't you? And he, again, he didn't say anything. And I said, and the other guys go, what's wrong? And I go, well, this guy seems to think it's okay to mouth fucking asshole when I'm driving by your guys' hole that you're working in because they hadn't seen what happened. And so I said to him, I said, you know what, dude? I said, here's the deal. Maybe instead of you looking at people like me who are young and successful and doing what the fuck I want in my life and saying fucking asshole, you should instead examine your own decisions in your own life. And instead of you criticizing all these other people that seem to have it better than you,

maybe you should change so that you could teach the next generation what mistakes you fucking made. Because I could tell you right now, my fucking kids and my grandkids and the people who are associated with me aren't going to be out digging a motherfucking hole when it's 22 fucking degrees outside in the fucking road calling somebody who's driving a Rolls Royce a fucking asshole. And the truth of the matter is, had I not been fucking stiff with surgery and had I not felt like shit, I might've got out and beat the fuck out of this guy. That's how pissed I was. All right.

Here's the fucking moral of the story. And I'm going to tell you this over and over and over again. And some of you are going to listen and most of you aren't. Winners win and losers fucking lose. I could give that man $10 million cash when he was 30 years old or 20 years old. I could mentor him. I could invest him. I could teach him every fucking lesson. I could do every fucking thing to help him succeed. And he still wouldn't succeed. He still wouldn't be able to get it done.

And I want you to think about this. Because a lot of you listening right now, you have all the tools available to you. You have all this amazing opportunity. You have all this amazing training. You could go to YouTube and learn how to be great at anything with practice. You could fuck dude. If you work at my company, you literally get talks on a weekly basis about how to be better that other people pay fucking tens of thousands of dollars to hear. And you know what? Not everybody here in this company still fucking wins. It's the same everywhere. You've got a 5% of people who are going to win and they're going to win regardless of whether they get the

investment whether they get the capital whether they get the quote-unquote opportunity whether they get uh the the the good breaks or the good luck or the bad luck or whether they get cancer or whether they get a tragedy tragedy or whether, no matter what happens to these motherfuckers, they're going to find a way to fucking win. And then you have the 95% of the rest of the world who are like the motherfucker who digs the hole. If you're right now listening to this podcast, and you've been trained, you've been taught, you've been given the tools, you've been shown how, and you're still losing, you're the motherfucker talking shit on the side of the road. You're the guy saying, fuck you, because you aren't willing

to make shit happen. This principle, winners win, losers lose, is the fucking concrete set in stone principle of life. trying to get people who are perpetual losers to understand how to win, why they should win, what it's supposed to do for them, how good it's going to be for them. And what do they do? They shake their head yes. And then they go and continue to do the same fucking thing. And then when they're 60 years old or 70 years old or whatever the fuck they are, and they see someone drive by who's half their age in a nice car, who's got their shit together, who's fucking literally sacrificed every fucking thing in my life to get to this point.

And by the way, I ain't even fucking started. That's you. If you're working in a company right now and you're living below and you're performing below what it means to fucking dominate, that's you. That's you. You're that guy. You're just a different version of it. And that's the fucking truth. So when you guys wonder where you are in the spectrum, it's real simple. How's it going for you? Are you continually progressing? Are you setting records? Are you fucking making more money? Are you creating opportunities for others to make money? Are you coaching people up? Are you

making them better? Are you helping them succeed? Are you winning? Do you have all the tools to do all those things? Do you have all the lessons to do all those things? It would be mind blowing, especially in my companies to think that you don't, because I know for sure I make my, I make that shit available to everybody. So at the end of the day, who is it? Whose fucking fault is it? Whose fucking fault is it that you're not going the way that you want, the way you want to go? Whose fault is it that you can't seem to get shit going?

It's you because you're in the 95%. You're, you're a fucking loser. And you don't like to hear that. Oh, Andy called me a loser. You're a fucking loser. It's a fucking fact. It is a fucking fact. If you have all the resources available to you, if you have all the teaching available to you, if you have all the fucking things that you need to succeed available to you, and you still can't get it done, you are by definition a fucking loser. And a lot of you guys like to talk shit. I'm a fucking winner. You're going to hear my name one day. I'm going to show the world. I'm going to show you one day. And where are you in 20 fucking years you're eating chicken nuggets

watching fucking reruns of fucking walking dead on your fucking shitty couch that you've had for 30 fucking years because you can't afford to buy a new one with your fucking wife that you hate with your fucking job that you hate with your fucking life that you hate because you are a fucking loser. And sad to say, a lot of you guys, when you fucking think of like what loser means, you think of like some dude drinking a fucking 40 out of a paper bag, fucking, uh, you know, begging for change on the side of the sidewalk. That ain't fucking loser. That's just a version of a loser because I'm going to argue this. I would argue that probably that person doesn't have the training, doesn't have the access, didn't have the education, probably didn't have a lot of opportunity because they grew up in a different fucking era.

But I'm going to tell you right now, there's no excuse to not succeed. There's no excuse to not win. And there's no excuse to not dominate. The only fucking reason you're not winning is because A, you're not doing the fucking job the right way. Or B, you haven't been doing it long enough. And that's it. There are no other fucking reasons because at the end of the day, winners are going to fucking win and losers are going to fucking lose no matter what. So your job, if you're a manager right now, if you're a manager right now, if people, a CEO, a business owner, your job needs to be to provide all the tools, to provide all the education, to provide all the training repetitively, and to do everything that you can to set up your people for success and then

let them weed themselves out. When you figure out who's the winners are, the 5% out of the 5 people out of every 100 that you have that are going to be winners, you pour your fucking energy into them. Those are the people you build around. Those are the people you pay more. Those are the people you fucking help and help them out when they need help personally. Those are the people that you give new responsibilities to and let them act autonomously inside your company and make decisions. That's who you build around. Okay. A lot of you guys ask me, how do you find all these great fucking employees? The truth is they're not all great. It's the same percentage.

Some of them fucking win and most of them fucking lose and they got to have their hands held. And if you work here in my company and you hear this, you know, it's the fucking truth. So if you don't like it, there's the fucking door. I don't give a fuck. Okay. Because I am fucking sick and tired of giving every ounce of energy that I have to helping you, and I'm talking to all of you, succeed only for you to fucking DM me about your fucking struggles and this shit that you're having. I'm not your fucking mom. I'm not your fucking dad. I'm not your fucking counselor. I am one of many people out there who are qualified because they have done the shit in real world shit. And when I say real world shit, I mean building a real company,

real company, because we have this fucking infestation of cockroaches right now. Okay. Of people who are 20 years old, who fucking are going to sell you how to build a business when they've never built a fucking business. All right. Not talking about those people. I'm talking about people like Ed Milet. I'm talking about people like Bedros. I'm talking about people that I associate with and I'm missing a whole bunch of them. So like, don't get your fucking little pussies hurt. I didn't mention your name. The point is, is that there's plenty of info, no matter where the fuck you choose to look, it's right in your fucking face. You're choosing to be a fucking loser. You're choosing to fucking take that shitty paycheck. You're choosing to let everybody else pass you by. You're choosing to do it because you're part of the 95%.

And you guys don't like hearing it. And I don't give a fuck. Okay. Most of you guys understand why I do what I do. And the reason I do what I do is because I have been so fortunate, so blessed in my life that I work out of an obligation to other people. I had somebody say to me the other day, oh, Andy, you know, you're lucky. You don't have to answer to anybody. I don't? Bullshit. I have to answer to everybody. I got to answer to everybody in my fucking companies. I got to answer to all of our

customers. Dude, when you're doing shit right, you're answering to the most amount of people, not the least. And some of you all can't even fucking understand that. This isn't fucking Corona commercial. You know, I see, I see these people who are supposedly working so hard on all their, all their companies and this and that. And yet every week they're in Miami or they're in fucking New York city or they're in Tulum or they're in fucking Bali or they're in this dude, you're a fucking faker. Cause I'm going to tell you right now, I could afford to buy places in every motherfucking one of those places. And you know what I choose to do? I choose to fucking win. You know why I choose to win? Because I'm a fucking winner. And that's what winners do. And if you don't like that, I don't fucking care. That's the truth.

Okay? You guys know that I have this series of kids books called Otis and Charlie's hardworking tales. The first book of that series is called Charlie, the bulldog's fruit stand. Okay. It's a pretty simple plot. Kids books obviously aren't supposed to be complicated. All right. Otis, my real life bulldog is laying around, not doing shit. He sees that his sister, Charlie is busy doing something. He says, Hey, Charlie, what are you doing? Charlie says, I'm building a fruit stand. I'm going to sell fruit to the people who walk by our farm. And notice says, fuck that. Well, you know, he doesn't say fuck that, but that's what he thinks. Right. And he says, man, that sounds like a lot of hard work. And Charlie says, it is hard work, but hard work makes you happy. All you motherfuckers out there

searching for happiness, pay attention. If my fucking peanut sized brain, motherfucking bulldog can understand that hard work makes you happy, you should be able to grasp this concept. It's a fucking children's book. Okay. And that is the reason that that was the main point of the first book that I wrote, because I wanted to talk about today because we're getting to the end of the year here. And you know, everybody's making these resolutions and saying all this shit and they're going to talk about all this shit end of the year here, and everybody's making these resolutions and saying all this shit, and they're going to talk about all this shit, but the truth is,

is that they're all doing this shit with the idea of trying to figure out how to do the least amount of hard work. And if hard work makes you happy, and if hard work makes you have a sense of pride, and if hard work is addictive, and winning is addictive, and it can remove you from the 95% to the 5%, why do you spend all of your time figuring out how to do shit with the least amount of work?

And I want you to think about that. I want you to think really, really, really hard about that. Okay? We are starting a brand new year here in a few weeks. And when that happens, you know, it's important to take a second and review some of the very simple principles that are going to drive your success, not only in 2019, but forever. And there are few principles of success, very few that are more important than the main point of the first kid's book that I wrote. Okay. Hard work makes you happy. Here's the thing. There are lots of miserable people out there. In fact, I would go so far as to say that most of the people in our culture right now,

at their core, are pretty fucking miserable. You guys might remember that I'm a big fan of the essay, Self-Reliance. It's a short book slash essay by Ralph Waldo Emerson. But one of his buddies, who also wrote a lot of very similar stuff, Henry David Thoreau, has this quote that I just, I just love this quote. Okay. Most men lead lives of quiet desperation, quiet desperation. You know what that means? It means on the inside, they ache, they groan, and they are filled with dissatisfaction and anger and frustration. And I agree with that. I think if we're all honest, which we all aren't, we can relate to that. Most men and women just exist. They do what they're supposed to do.

They live by the list and their existence, to be completely honest, I find pathetic. Okay. I think it's pathetic to live passively. I think it's pathetic to think that the world owes you something. I think that it's pathetic to think that you do things just because you're expected to do things based upon the system that you were brought up in over the course of your life. Okay. These people are miserable because they think that they are victims. They're victims of hard times. They're victims of bad luck. They're victims of people in their lives or whatever else they say. Basically they're fucking losers. All right. They're in the fucking 95%. So they aren't happy and they're incredibly dissatisfied with their lives. And let me throw a little fucking asterisk in here for you too.

99.9% of Instagram falls into this category. Just so you fucking know. When you see that smiley fucking stupid face telling you about how I'm going to sell you some fucking coaching on how to live a fucking healthy fucking purposeful life. Fuck you and your fucking smile. Here's the reality. They aren't really dissatisfied with their lives. They're dissatisfied with themselves. Okay. They may try to deny it. They may try to hide it, but they realize that they can't wake up and look in the mirror and say,

you know what, motherfucker? I feel good about you. I like you. I think you're a bad motherfucker. And you know what? If I wasn't you, I'd hang out with you. They don't say that shit. They look in the mirror and they say the opposite. They can't go to sleep with the clear conscious because they didn't do anything productive while they were awake. They can't enjoy to sleep with a clear conscious Because they didn't do anything Productive while they were awake They can't enjoy the best Kind of sleep in the world Which is falling asleep exhausted From a good hard

Day's work And that doesn't have to be digging a hole On the side of the road like some of you Fucking asterisk holes are going to try to Oh you don't think those guys sleep well They don't have a fucking choice. Okay. The point is, is if you aren't waking up with goals, if you are taking life by the balls, if you aren't committed to acting and growing and becoming better and improving and pushing the fucking envelope to the limits,

you will never be satisfied. You will never be happy and successful people know this. They believe this. This is what drives them. They trust the work, not just to get the results, but to feel good about themselves. This is also why when you hear some stupid fucking entrepreneur wannabe say, I'm going to, I'm going to retire by the time I'm 38 years old. I know they're going to be broke and doing the same shit, probably fucking working at McDonald's when they're 38. Or they're going to be telling everybody how they had hard luck or bad luck or their partner screwed them or this or that or this, this, this, because these guys don't understand the game. They don't understand what it's about. It's not about the because these guys don't understand the game.

They don't understand what it's about. It's not about the money. It's not about the cars. It's not about the fucking financial success. It's not about the notoriety. It's about what the fuck you feel like on the inside. And it is impossible, impossible to feel great about yourself when you're not performing at a level that you know that you are capable of performing at. Period. You all know the feeling. You know the feeling

when you set a goal. All of you have set a goal at one time and achieved the goal. And you know what that feels like. You know how good you felt. You know what sort of feelings that built, what sort of confidence that built inside of you in spite of all the struggle, in spite of all the setbacks that you went through to achieve that goal. You understand that achieving the goal wasn't even the reward. The reward was what it did to you. And listen, as much as I love fucking winning, and I love fucking winning, successful people know there's a satisfaction

that you can have even when you don't win. Teddy Roosevelt has a really good quote on this. It's not the critic who counts. It's not the one who points out how a strong man stumbles. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood. How many of you are marred by dust and sweat and blood. How many of you are pointing the fucking finger at other people saying, I'm not here because of them.

I'm not where I want to be because of them. The worst fucking player is still better than the entire crowd of spectators put together because he's in the fucking game. And here's the thing you guys have to understand. People who believe in the work, people who commit to the work, most of the time they win. In the beginning, it might not be that way. They might lose a lot. They might, and this is really why people lose hope. They start to commit to the work. They buy into the shit that I'm saying right now. And you know what? They go out and they work and they work and they work and they work and they work and they work and they work.

But their skills aren't good. They don't have good skills, but guess how you get good skills through repetition. It's normal. People suck at first. People are bad at first. So when you go out there and you're working your ass off and you're not getting the results that you see right away, it's because your skills aren't up to par. And the only way for your skills to get up to par is by doing the work over and over again. But most of you guys won't fucking do it. That's just a fact. Okay? Most of the world's going to sit around, they're going to do nothing. And they're going to wonder why they're miserable.

Most people are completely dissatisfied with their lives. And they wonder what's wrong. And they buy every program. They buy every book. They join every fucking group that they think somebody might have the answer to. And to figure out the secret. And to figure out what corners they need to cut. And how to do the most shit with the least amount of work because they don't understand that the work

is where the satisfaction comes from. It's where the happiness comes from. I'm writing fucking books for your fucking kids so that you can teach them the shit that you don't understand quite yet, which is why the fuck you should buy them to be quite honest. I don't really make any money on the books. I don't care to, but if you're not reading this kind of stuff to your kids, you're doing your kids a disservice. The bottom line is this guys, if you want to be satisfied with your life, if you want to feel good, if you want to be happy, you've got to work and you've got to work hard and you're going to get results and you're going to get the best result, which is the knowledge that you could be proud of who you are and what you're about as a person with what

you've done in your life. Okay. It's the simplest message. It's the simplest thing. A lot of you guys out there right now, you're getting by. You got a paycheck coming in. You're paying your bills. You're fucking doing okay. And still, you're leaving so much on the table. And I'm not here to fucking tell you, oh, you're leaving so much on the table. You could be so much better. I'm telling you as a fact. You're leaving so much on the table, you could be so much better. I'm telling you as a fact.

You're leaving so much on the table and that makes you a fucking bitch. That's the fucking fact. You wonder why you're dissatisfied because when you go to bed at night and you have all the resources available to you and you have all the tools available to you and you have all the training available to you

and you have all the information available to you and and you have all the training available to you, and you have all the information available to you, and you still can't win, and you still can't dominate, and you still can't make it happen, you're a fucking loser. And that's fucking that. Outro Music