REAL AF with Andy Frisella - You Always Have a Choice, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO273

Episode Date: November 15, 2018

Why is it that some people experience terrible, evil things in their lives & they become monsters themselves...while other people go through just the same kind of suffering & sh*t & they are transformed into amazing, good people? I get it. It is hard to take the negatives of life & convert them into positives. It's hard to be wronged & still do the right thing. It's really hard to go through really bad things & become a force for good in the world. But it can be done. You just have to make the choice.

I can stack them hundreds to the roof. I ain't stopping till they stack to the moon. Without me, my family wouldn't have food. Anybody going against me gotta lose. What is up guys? You're listening to the MFCEO Project. I'm Andy. I'm your host and I am the motherfucking CEO. Guys, if this is your first time listening, welcome. This is called the MFCEO Project because this is a project. This is a mission. This is a movement. It is not your typical podcast where we just interview the same old motherfuckers every single day and hear the same old stories and all this other shit. This is, this was and is a very purposeful mission, which is to correct the last 25 years of failed parenting strategies. Okay.

It's to help young people. And when I say young people, I mean young in entrepreneurship and success in business, understand what it really takes to be successful. We do usually two to three podcasts, sometimes Tuesday, almost always Thursday, and then Sunday. All right? So today is Thursday Thunder, and it's a short, little, quick hit just to get you thinking about some things. And what I want to talk to you guys about today is something that got me thinking.

I was reading the other day about this really bad dude down in Honduras, okay? He was captured, and now he's in prison. This guy apparently ruled everybody by fear. He intimidated everybody. He, he brutalized people. Um, and I mean to the extreme, I don't mean just a little bit, you know, he would hack a little kids up in front of their parents and then he liked parents on fire, uh, just to make an example for people who thought about going against them. And as I'm reading this, obviously I'm thinking what all of you would think reading this. Okay. I'm thinking what is wrong with these fucking people. Okay. That's the natural reaction. If you listen to

last Sunday, you know that I'm sick of this shit just like you guys are, okay? We're filled with negativity. But I started reading the comments. And, you know, the comments were what you would expect, right? It was like, oh, what an animal. Oh, he deserves to burn in hell. Or this fucking guy doesn't deserve to live. You know, all the typical internet shit.

But one comment really got my attention and it said this, it says, Honduras has been a poverty stricken nation for years. I'm not saying what he did wasn't terrible, but he probably had a really horrible childhood and experienced trauma that we can't imagine. And as the saying goes, hurt people, hurt people. Now, when I read that, part of me wanted to just destroy this person, okay? You know, it's a typical, you know, lunatic, liberal, idealist bullshit, making excuses for people that we have an issue with here. Okay. And not taking responsibility. But the truth of the matter is I took a minute instead of jumping all over this comment, um, I thought about it, you know, I thought about what it would be like to grow up in that kind of poverty. And I thought what it would be like

to grow up with that kind of violence. Okay I thought what it would be like to grow up with that kind of violence. Okay. Growing up in craziness and chaos and instability and guys that would be fucking hard. All right. And that has to mess with the kind of person you are and the kind of person you become beyond what any of you could really understand. And I get that. But what about the Jews in the concentration camps? People who lost their whole fucking families when they got out and then went back to live their lives, got married, started families, and built businesses that made the world a better place. What about the black people in the 40s and 50s and 60s whose family members were lynched by white people because of the color of their skin and instead

of hating white people, they went out and made friends, got involved in the community and then worked together to teach out the prejudices that exist in our society? What about the guy who was bullied when he was a little kid? Instead of, you know, like I said on Sunday, going and shooting up a bunch of people in his school, he grows up to become a mentor, a coach, a friend to people who were also bullied. Okay. And I guess what I'm trying to say is this. For every single person that has really shitty things happen to them. And has used it as an excuse to become a miserable person. And in this case. A fucking evil monster.

There are a hundred other people. Who had terrible things happen to them. And evil done to them. And they responded by doing and becoming the opposite of what those actions were. They ended up doing good things. They became a force for good and my point is this guys, I don't care what hard things have happened to you. I don't care what evil has been done to you. I don't care how much you've suffered. I don't care what evil has been done to you. I don't care how much you've suffered. I don't care how much you've been hurt. You always have a choice. You don't

have to just pass the shit on that was passed on to you. Okay. You don't have to excuse your terrible behavior by saying, Oh, you know what? I got fucked over, so fuck you. Because that's what weak people do. You have a will and a heart and a mind that can choose to do the right thing and not just choose to do the right thing, but choose to take the negative things that have been put on you with no fault of your own and turn them into good. Okay. We have the ability

and the freedom to make the choice to be the person who rises above the shit. Does it make it harder to be born in poverty? Absolutely. Does it make it harder when you grow up in a shit family? Absolutely. Does it hurt when people hurt you? Absolutely. But what the fuck kind of life are you going to have if all you want to do is hurt the people who hurt you? Now, I'm not saying you shouldn't hold on to that shit and use it. Okay. A lot of guys right now, it's popular to say, oh, well, why are you going to keep doing this? Because three or four guys made fun of you in high school. They act like they rise above it. Okay. It's okay to hang on to that shit. If it helps you produce good things. Okay. And a lot of people will tell you,

and you know, people like this, it's not my fault. It wasn't my decision. The world did this to me. My parents did this. My uncle did this. My aunt did this.

The circumstances did this. And a lot of people will duck and use the circumstances of what it is they grew up in as an excuse instead of making the choice to be positive about it. And the truth of the matter is most people that are out there right now are not thinking the way I'm talking about in this podcast. Most people and a lot of you people who are listening to this, think that it's not your choice. You think you're not in control. You think it's your destiny to be miserable and make other people miserable. Okay? Some people were blessed by God and some people got fucked and that's how you see it. And you see yourself as the person that got fucked but what you don't see is that you aren't locked into anything you are free to choose you are free to use your emotions

your experiences all the things that have happened to you to produce good or to produce more bad you are free to be a good person you are free to actually become a great person. You are free to become the kind of person that other people who have gone through the shit that you have gone through will end up looking up to and thanking and being grateful for because you exist and you taught them there was another way. This choice that I'm talking about is rare. People do not make the choice to turn good things out of bad things. And that's why most of the people that you talk to are miserable. But you guys, first off, have to be aware of the choice. And second of all,

you have to make the fucking choice. And the reality is, if you keep making the choice, day after day after day after day, to take what it was, to take the bad circumstances, to take the things that frustrate you, to take the things that make you angry, to take the things that have happened to you and turn them into good productive things. If you continue to do that day in and day out for the course of your life, there is no way that you cannot be successful. I know a lot of you guys are thinking, well, how is there no way that you cannot be successful. I know a lot of you guys are thinking, well, how is there no way that I cannot be successful? What does that mean?

This really has nothing to do with business. Let me fill you in on something. People are attracted to people who overcome. People are attracted to people who seem to have that superhuman ability to persevere. Look at any book you've read recently. Look at any speaker you've went and saw that you really truly loved. Look at any movie that you've watched. All of these things had a story of perseverance. All of these things had a story of overcoming. We as humans cannot help but to be inspired by people who have everything going against them, but choose

to go ahead anyway. And when people are attracted to you because you have that quality in real life, not in the movies, not in a book, not on TV, you're going to be successful because attracting people is the hardest part. Getting people to hear you, to see you, to stand out amongst every other 300 million people in this country or 7 billion people on the globe is the hardest part. And you know how you want to stand out. You know how you can stand out quicker than anybody is by taking all the shit that everybody else complains about and making it work for you.