Real Estate the Ramsey Way - How Do I Sell My Share Of A Home I Own With Family?

Episode Date: September 1, 2025

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Dave Ramsey here and welcome to another episode of Real Estate, the Ramsey Way, where you'll learn how to make smart home decisions, avoid costly mistakes, and navigate homeownership with confidence. Alex is in New Haven, Connecticut. Hi, Alex. How are you? Good. How are you? Thanks for taking my call. Sure. What's up? So seven years ago, I was asked to co-sign a house for my grandparents. They put down the down payment, and then I became co-owner with my mother. Now I'm at a point where I need to get out.

I feel like I'm at a different point in my life where the cost of living in Connecticut is sky high, and I have the ability to be mobile with my job and work in a different place where I can build wealth. I was wondering if you had any advice on how to get out of this. Wow. So you and your mom are 50-50. Morally a third piece between my grandfather, my mother, and myself, yes. Oh, okay.

And you're co-signed with your grandfather and your mother? My grandfather put the down payment. My mother and I legally own it on paper. Oh, okay. So the two of you are on the mortgage and on the deed, but morally he owns one-third because of the down payment. Yes. I see. Okay. And what is the house worth?

Online, it says $575. And then the mortgage is $2.40, $250. Okay, so there's $300,000. So your share is worth $100,000, give or takes. That sounds right? About right. Okay. All right. I don't think you're going to get your money out, kid, unless they're all willing to sell.

I don't know. Probably not my grandfather. So he's 80-something, upper 80s. So that was the only thing. Does he live there? Who lives in the house? Yeah, we all live in the house together. Oh, joyful. Okay.

Yeah. So I was 25 when this deal went down. Now I'm my, you know, lower 30s and I'm like, wait a minute. Yeah. Took a little while to realize how dumb it was. Oh, okay. It didn't sound great at the time, but I wasn't too concerned. That's where my brain was.

Yeah. Gotcha. So what's your mother's financial situation? Not the greatest, but I don't think she has much retirement. And is she retired? No. She'll probably be working for the next 15 years. What does she make?

70, 75. Well, I don't hear your 80-something-year-old grandfather buying you out, and I don't hear your broke mother buying you out. So there's only one way out. Because, I mean, if your mother made $200,000 a year and she could go get a mortgage, a new mortgage, and borrow enough extra to give you 50 or 60 grand and you could go away, I would suggest you take a deep discount and take that and leave, okay? And that would also get you off the mortgage, which I'm actually more concerned about you getting off of the mortgage liability than I am you getting your money out of this because you didn't put any money into it. But if you go live somewhere else and then she doesn't pay the bill because you're not there to help support this house anymore, you're going to get foreclosed on. Right.

And we can't do that. That doesn't make sense. So I have a quick question. You said you're mobile and what you can do and seems like— I work remotely. Okay. So it seems like you probably want to spread your wings and go somewhere else. Is that true?

Yeah. The cost of living here is actually ridiculous. What do you make? 100,000. Okay. If you were to go somewhere else, you pay one-third of the payment? Yeah, that's what I was wondering. Yeah, so my, yes, so I'd probably do a third of the mortgage, which is like 700 bucks.

Industry rate on the mortgage is 4.25. And then there's still living expenses probably brings me up to like $1,500 and just regular bills. See, the problem is, is the answer to your question is how do you get out, is the proper gets sold. But I don't know where your grandfather and your mother live then. Yeah. I mean... I don't know how I can move off and be successful while they also continue to be successful. If you live somewhere else, I'm guessing you've thought about this before you called us. If you live somewhere else, have you run some numbers on how much you could reduce your current cost of living? I just see, I don't know if I have the numbers exactly. But I see

there are like other places, let's say Delaware, for instance, where, you know, the house, for the amount of house did you get that amount of money is, you know, and cut it in half. Okay. So if we could find a place to park your grandpa and your mom, we would sell the house and everybody would get their money out and everybody would be going on their merry way. Okay? He'd have 100 grand. Your mom would have 100 grand.

You'd have 100 grand. And we'd be out of this convoluted, horrible idea that you guys have engaged. in. But if they don't have a place to live with $100,000, that's not going to work. Nobody's going to sign up for that. So I think I'm going to begin a lot. And if you could figure that out, that's the way to do it. If you can't figure that out, and I don't know what to tell you on that right now. So I can't figure it out yet. Yeah, it's just the... I would tell your mom when pop dies were selling the house. We have had that conversation And we're also the family gathering house

I'm slowly trying to I don't that's irrelevant They can just go rent an apartment I mean they go rent a music hall A dance hall or whatever I don't care I don't have to be the dadgum event center That's ridiculous

So no mom mom mom mom When pop dies We're selling the house We have to Because I have to get off this mortgage And I'm not going to put I'm not going to demand that we do this now and put everybody in the street, but you need to know, I'm going to Delaware, I'm going to keep

paying my share until he dies. And when he dies, we're selling the house. Okay? Yeah. And you need to have that like a very kind and low-key, but very blunt conversation. I don't want any nuance around this and follow it up with an email. Mom, this is what we talked about. This is an uncomfortable conversation, but I'm letting you know, I cannot stay in this until you die, but I will stay into it until pop dies, okay? Right, and I had that understanding at 25, though, was until my grandparents, you know what I mean. Yeah, I know, but everybody has short memories because these ideas of those kind of crap

you all have signed up for is what you're, it's just a horrible deal. Who would, so moms and dads and grandparents, don't do this to your kids. You're not blessing them. You're trapping them. Hey guys, thanks for listening to Real Estate the Ramsey Way. Now, if you're here, you're probably thinking about buying or selling a house. It's exciting and one of the biggest financial decisions you'll ever make. But you don't want to do it with an inexperienced agent who will rush you into costly mistakes,

like the ones some of our callers find themselves in. You need a pro who knows what the flip they're doing and will keep you on track with your financial goals. That's why we only recommend Ramsey trusted real estate agents. These are vetted, hand-picked pros who actually listen to your needs, guide you through the process, and fight to get you the best deal. To find a Ramsey trusted agent near you, go to Ramsey Solutions.com slash trusted agent. That's ramsysolutions.com slash trusted agent. All right, let's go to the phones. We have Ryan in Atlanta, Georgia up next. Hi, Ryan.

Welcome to the show. Hey, Rachel. Hey, Georgia. Hope you guys are doing good. And stoked to talk you all today. Oh, well, thank you. Thanks for calling. How can we help?

Yeah, so I'm 27 years old. I'm an aircraft mechanic. I make about $70,000 a year, give or take, we'll get overtime and stuff. But I just had a baby about 30 days ago. Oh, congratulations. And thank you. Thank you. So me and my fiance, we're getting married in October.

if we're not currently married. So I bought a house back in 2023, and she has a house, and her house is bigger. So we moved into her house. And in the meantime, I have my house being rented. And I just wanted to know, like, it was always the goal of ours to get into real estate. I just wanted to get a clear picture if we're doing this the right way and get a little advice on what you guys will do as far as my situation. Are they both in the Atlanta area?

Are they nearby each other? Yes, sir. They're about probably like 10, 15 minutes apart. That's great. What kind of debt do you guys have consumer debt-wise? You and your fiancé, we'll just say, you know, wife for this scenario. Once you guys get married, how much consumer debt will you guys have? Yeah, so luckily we have no consumer debt, just our mortgages.

Oh, that's great. Okay, how much do you owe on your primary? So on my home, I owe 177, and on her home, she owes 270. Okay. How much is your home worth? My home is worth about 225 to 230. Okay. Honestly, Ryan, if I were you, and you're making 80 grand a year, how much does she make?

She makes 80 as well. She'll be getting a promotion next year. She'll be making, I'm sorry, she'll be making 80 next year, and they'll creep up from there. She'll be making 150 together come October. Yes. Are you guys going to combine finances completely? Yes, sir. And how much are you making on the rental property yours?

So it's running out for $1,750, and the mortgage is $1160. Okay. About $7,000 a year, give or take. Yeah. I'll tell you what I would do, Ryan, and George, I'd be curious your opinion. I don't know where you would stand with this. So if I were you guys, Ryan, I'd probably just sell your house, and I would take the equity in its, which will be... $40,000 or so?

Yeah, around... Yeah, is. Yeah. After fees? Fees and taxes and stuff. Yeah. And I mean, you put it towards your mortgage now, and you guys would have about 2.10 left on your primary mortgage.

And then I would work just to pay it off and that be your single goal. I mean, you know, because again, you're making seven grand on the rental. It's not a ton, right? Like you're not, it's not life-changing. So if I were you, I would focus on the primary home, get that sold off. And that will take you guys, I mean, depending on how. how hard you're willing to work and focus, maybe five, five-ish years, maybe. And then from there, re-evaluate and say, okay, now what do we want to do?

Because real estate investing will be beyond baby steps. It's baby step seven, really is where I would put it. So once your primary home was paid off, then save up and pay cash for an investment property. Yep. And I say that, Ryan, because, you know, in five years, you guys could have two more kids. You know what I mean? You could have three kids. the way life looks, you know, your, you know, and your priorities could shift then when you actually say,

hey, we have the ability, you know, your income's going to go up. You guys will have a great income, no house payment, nothing. And if you wanted to save, you know, 100 grand to buy, you know, a fixer-upper and let it be your first rental, have at it and do it. You know what I mean? Like, absolutely. Or you could see, I don't know, that, man, once you're juggling life and there's, you know, kids running around and everything, you're like, you know, just a good mutual fund feels like really easy. life right now and go simple with investing and then maybe get into it later, right? So it's the idea that it's not a never. And I come from a real estate family. I mean, my family loves real estate. And so I am all about it. But I do want the priorities to be in the correct order just for peace

and for you guys to have as much autonomy as possible. So that's what I, I would probably sell it and then throw any equity you have at your primary home. You guys get married. I would probably do this after the wedding, by the way. I would probably just like, hold it, hold still. Nothing's on fire. Nothing's on fire. After you guys get married, you know, all of that from a legal standpoint is there, then, you know, make this move to sell your home, put the equity into her home, which you should be on the, you know, the title deed.

That's what I was going to ask. Are you going to get added to the deed and the mortgage? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. That was a goal after we get married. We were going to combine everything. I love the idea of throwing that lump sum from the proceeds at her mortgage, and then you can recast it or refinance it, but probably you should.

be able to recast it and just add your name to it with that lump sum, and that'll make that payment so low, you guys will knock that mortgage out so fast, making $150,000, the mortgage is now down to $2.30 at that point. Right. That was actually a segue into, so I have like $80,000 and a high-yield savings, and so I didn't know if it would have been smart to, like, throw it at my mortgage now and then recast it towards a smaller payment. But so based up what y'all are saying, it would make sense to sell, and then just throw that entire one. Yeah, anything beyond your six-month emergency fund? I assume that includes your, that's all your savings?

Yes, sir. Yeah, so anything beyond the six-month emergency expenses, yeah, once you guys are married, throw that on top of the lump sum from the proceeds, use the extra savings. You'll knock that thing down, maybe closer to 200. Okay. That'd be amazing. And you guys still have time. You're going to cash flow wedding, I assume, by October.

Well, luckily, yeah, we're blessed in that area. Her dad is in a position to help us out about it. That's great. Awesome. That's great. Yeah, I mean, this sets you guys up, Brian, really well. I mean, to get the primary mortgage down that low, and how much is the house worth?

The house is, so she just bought it like not too long ago. It's worth like 3.308 or something. Okay, that's great. But to think that you guys could have a paid off house in what four-ish years, maybe even? I mean, like, it's just wild to think. And then what you guys can do from there is amazing. So if real estate is still what you guys are wanting, then we'd be all about that, just cash flowing it and going slow.

we always say move at the speed of cash, so it's not going to be fancy and big and great. But my husband's flipping houses right now, George, and there are some nasty houses that are going from not a lot. Hey, Winston, I was like, oh, and he's like, man, there's some good days, there's some bad days. I know, yeah. So you can find some not great, you know, get a contractor in there, you know,

figure it out. But real estate's fun. I think it's a great way to diversify money eventually. You know, we're not, I'm not just like, oh, just invest it in mutual fund and sit there. I do like the idea of, you know, you're making money on turn. I don't know. It's fun. Real estate is fun, but I just want you to do it the right way. You'll have more peace about it. Yeah, for sure. And if a deal doesn't go well, George, you know, you just say, well, that happens. That one didn't take. But when you do it with cash, it just changes the desperate, the desperation involved. It really does. It is wild. Like, it, it, it, he had one that, and it sat. I mean, it, like, it was painful. And it was, it was a larger one that would, a deal we would normally do. But we had no mortgage payment, right? So it's like, you know, you can afford just a salary.

let it kind of sit there. You're not like bleeding money. Yes. Yes. I'm like, seriously, there is something so powerful about it. And, um, but yeah, there's some, there's some nasty houses, George. Well, if you just watch TikTok, you don't see that. All you see is by my course and I'll show you how amazing this is and I work one hour a week to make all this money. But the reality of it is, it's a lot of pain, turmoil to get the reward on the other side. Yeah, for sure. It's a lot of work. Yes. Oh, no. It's, and that's the interesting thing. You know, that's, you know, flipping versus holding, right? So the investment real estate

where you hold and, yeah, and that's the thing too is you don't make a ton of money on the rents always, but it's what you make at the buy, right? If you get a good deal. Appreciation kicks in at the time. Which is beautiful too.

So yeah, so there's some fun stuff there that is great. Not everyone does it the wisest, smart, peaceful way. So we are slower with it, but it gives you more peace, which is way more of an enjoyable life, George. Amen.