Real Girls Radio - EP 11: How to stop being a people pleaser, childhood rejection and dating

Episode Date: August 31, 2022

Real Girl's Radio IS BACK! Season 2 is finally here and we cannot wait for this round! Milly g is solo today, talking about her realisation of being a people pleaser and how she's overcoming this, as well as her childhood trauma's. Milly also talks about confronting challenges that we face in dating, our confidence and living alone in London, as well as the 'Chimps Paradox'; how we have 2 different brains and how to live effectively with these conflicting brains.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/e-1-the-unheard-truth-of-millys-journey. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Love this podcast? Support this show through the Acast Supporter feature. It's up to you how much you give and there's no regular commitment. Just hit the link in the show description to support now. Oh my god, we are back. Guys, we are back and we are better than ever. Season two is here, baby. Wow, I'm so sorry it's been so long, but we are back guys we are back and we are better than ever season two is here baby wow i'm so sorry it's been so long but we're back oh my god i've missed you guys you know what i've been so scared to record this i've been putting this off for so many days now and i'm finally here it's 9 p.m it's dark i'm under a blanket i'm in my bedroom it's giving me sort of emma chamberlain

vibes that's what I'm feeling. And I'm also feeling like I'm just voice noting right now. It's very strange. As you may have noticed, it is just Millie J. If you follow our Real Girls Radio Instagram, then you would be all up to date there. But yeah, Emma is unfortunately not going to be able to join us for probably the first few weeks. But, you know, we'll see.

We'll see what happens. But yeah, that's the situation now. It is is just me i hope you guys don't mind that but yeah i feel like this episode is just going to be catching up with you all i mean i'm literally just talking to a microphone right now um but i guess just updating you guys on my life what i've been up to this summer this hot girl summer dating life holidays all that good stuff really and living by myself as well because i'm now living solo oh wow there's a lot to update you guys um oh my god i don't know where to begin so this summer has probably been one of the best summers i have had in my life and i probably say that every year i don't know but i guess that's a good thing because

it means that each year is getting better and better i mean um but yeah this summer has been great i've been going on lots of holidays i have been a jet setter and i feel like i'm definitely making up for all the lost years during covid so that's yeah that's amazing um where did i go i went to la oh my god guys went to la with um i don't know if you guys know saffron barker but she's like a youtuber we went to la for two weeks it's quite spontaneous trip it was so funny it was funny it was very expensive very very expensive but yeah some things happened some things happened i can't say really but all i'm gonna say is that there's this i mean i've got oh i don't know what i don't even know we're going straight in aren't we we're going straight in um what can I say how can I give you guys a clue but not giving it away I've just got

I've got a very high profile celeb in my in my contacts now but he's not leaving me alone that's all I'm saying that's all I'm saying I think a lot of you know him anyway so yeah LA was fun god I'm literally under a blanket right now and it's so hot I'm actually sweating buckets where else did I go this is the thing like I feel like when people ask me oh what have you been up to I'm just like obviously I've been up to so many things but life is just a blur you know what actually I was thinking about this I don't know if this is my um like brain fog still because during my eating disorder i had such such bad brain fog it was so bad it was such like short-term memory loss basically i was dory from finding nemo if you guys know finding nemo i was dory i just didn't really retain any sort of information

and i feel like the brain fog is like an aftermath of my eight year long eating disorder I mean I'm not surprised because think of all those like brain cells that probably deteriorated during my terrible eight years of um that eating disorder yeah I don't know it's kind of weird when you think about it but that's basically what I was trying to say so I actually it's all just a blur I don't really remember what I've been up to when people ask me let me know if anyone can relate to that I don't know if that's just me or if that's literally just my poor memory who knows but anyway where else did I go I went to France oh so yeah I went to France with this um like group of friends but I didn't actually really like I knew them but

I didn't really know them well enough to go on holiday so that was an interesting one I actually nearly cancelled the night before so this is your sign so you basically I went on the trip it was so fun I'm so so glad I did it was like a wholesome little cute four days away in France in the south of France it was great but I was going to cancel the trip and I'm so glad I didn't because this is the thing like when you're an anxious person whether that's with social anxiety or just anxious in general, I feel like it's so easy to get caught up in your anxiety and your emotions and you kind of just act on the spot and you're a bit spontaneous with some stuff and I honestly could have easily just cancelled my flight because I was just so anxious about it. I was just thinking about everything and

I'm usually fine around people that I know but it's just people I don't really know. I just get really anxious. I think it's because I'm a people's pleaser. Like this is a recent thing that I've discovered. I am such a people's pleaser that people's pleaser, people pleaser, I don't know how you say it. It really gets to me. Like I just don't want people to not like me, which is just stupid because in this universe, in this world, there's always gonna be people

that don't like you, but that's not your issue. That's whatever they're going through. There's just, you're never gonna please everyone. And I find it so hard to get over that and it's quite ironic because I am like my job is on social media and it relies on people's opinions which obviously isn't healthy for me but I'm learning I'm learning more about myself and this is one thing that I've really learned and I've come to terms with recently and I think it's such an eye-opener because it really has let me realize that you know life isn't about what people think of you and if you hide away and you know let people's opinions control you and control your life and control what you do then you're never going to be happy you're never

going to find freedom you're never going to find people that genuinely like you because all you care about is just everyone liking you and that's like that is your I guess that's all you're focusing on and it may be obvious to some but it may actually not be obvious to like others and I think for me it wasn't obvious like I didn't realize I was a people's pleaser this whole time and actually I think it's because I it's my background it's my childhood I always ah guys she's got daddy issues okay she's got daddy issues fear of rejection it's a massive one that is my personality fear of rejection I fear people rejecting me so the alternative for me to do or like how I compensate with that is to try and please everyone because I'm so scared of rejection but it could also go another way and I can actually push people away

because I don't even want to get to the stage where they reject me so I'm like no I'm not going to let you in my life because you're probably going to reject me later on so I'm just going to reject you now sort of thing so toxic isn't it such toxic mentality but yeah that's I don't even know where I was going with that I digress oh France so I'm really happy I didn't cancel because I didn't let those thoughts get in the way and I knew that I would come away from that trip being thankful that I did do it and it was also like yesterday so I went on a date guys I went on a date, guys. I went on a date. Millie's dating life has picked up. It has picked up. It was very slow. It was very dead, probably at the beginning of the year. And now it's picked up. And she's gained some confidence. She is this new woman, you know. She really is gaining confidence.

I used to be so scared before going on dates, like genuinely so scared. I probably was a flaky person. I'm not going to lie. I'm going to put my hands up. I was a flaky person I'm not gonna lie I'm gonna put my hands up I was a flaky person because I just got so scared and again fear of rejection I didn't want to get rejected so I was like I'm not even gonna bother it's not worth it it's not worth that emotional trauma so anyway recently I've really pushed past those sort of ingrained emotions and I'm getting through it and it's actually serving me so well so I went on this date yesterday it was a second date but I mean I wasn't really scared I was just like you know nervous just like you know the average the average nerves that you get for a date I was like

don't really know if I want to go like I had a party to go to as well so like straight after so it was just like oh lots of stress lots of things having to think about and the outfit so I was like what am I gonna wear to a date and then a party like oh god I couldn't go back home and change it was just yeah one of those things so I obviously came back from the date and I was really happy that I went so it's always it's always the outcome. You're never going to regret going, but you are going to regret not going. So you may as well just do it. Life's too short.

Go do whatever makes you feel anxious and come out of it and think, actually, that's made me stronger. That's made me a better person. And that's also helped me for the next time that I'm going to be confronted with something anxiety provoking things in life it's never going to be easy it's never smooth sailing we're going to be confronted with so many obstacles and challenges and some may be expected and some may not be expected but I think it's so easy for us to hide away and avoid those challenges and just stay in our comfort zone again it's like with my weight gain journey I for so long was just avoiding weight gain I was avoiding the fact that I had to admit that I had an eating disorder because that was a challenge for me and I didn't

want to face that challenge and it was scary and I wasn't ready to face it. So for eight years, I was just dodging that challenge and dodging facing my fears, really, at the end of the day. And once I faced them, I was like, oh, it's actually not that bad. Like, it's not as bad as you think. So always just go for it. You'll never lose anything. You'll never regret it and this party

I went to last night it was so fun I went by myself I rocked up by myself and obviously that is a very anxiety provoking thing rocking up to a party by yourself not really knowing who's going to be there really just relying on the only person that you know there but obviously when I went I saw more people that I knew which is great but I wouldn't have I wouldn't have met the people that I met last night like so many lovely people I wouldn't have made the memories I wouldn't have danced on that pole oh my god that was a pole and guys when there's a pole millie g's on it I've done one pole dancing class and I feel like i'm a pro already anyway yeah so all those memories wouldn't be made if i just stayed in my comfort zone stayed at home and had my dinner and

go to bed i feel like there's obviously nights where that's great and we love doing those rituals but it's also very healthy to get out of that as well every now and then and just see what's out there in the world you know we only live once we're young I'm sure a lot of the people listening now you're all you know young I mean I say young I'd say like you know teens 20s even 30s that's still young 40s only everyone's 40 you know you're young don't worry there's still a lot of life ahead of you. I'm doing myself a whole right now, aren't I? But yeah, anyway, I don't know. Again, going off a tangent. Oh my god, and another challenge that I confronted this week, guys. God, she's on a roll. I went to an event by myself. I rocked up to an event by myself. Could you imagine how scary that is as well? No idea who's going to be there. Also, there's a whole other issue in itself as what to wear.

When you go to events, you don't know what the dress code is. They don't give you a dress code. It could be casual. It could be a bit more like fancy. It could be a bit more corporate vibes. It could be fitness, active wear. You don't really know. Obviously, you know if it's active wear, if it's like a workout class but you just never know so you're rocking up not only by yourself to

an event full of other influences which is quite daunting because you know it's just daunting isn't it that's a daunting thing but you're also rocking up not knowing what other people are going to be wearing it's like we all when we're going to a party, we all ask our friends, oh, what are you going to wear? So you all, you know, get the vibe. But when you're walking up to events by yourself, you just don't know. You're going straight in the deep end. And again, I kept reminding myself, I was like,

look, if it's bad, if it's not fun, I can just leave. It's fine. No biggie. I'd be so happy that at least I went there and I tried and I saw what it was like. And you know, if it was shit, then that's great. At least I know that now. I wouldn't have known that at least I went there and I tried and I saw what it was like and you know if it was shit then that's great at least I know that now I wouldn't have known that it was shit if I didn't go and I would have just been thinking oh what if it was really good what if I missed out on that and I would have been sitting in this like little hole of kind of guilt I guess of like not

going and allowing my little feared brain to to take. It's funny, isn't it? I'm actually reading this book called The Chimp Paradox. Really good. I'd recommend, guys. I would highly recommend. I did psychology at uni, so I love it even more because it's quite psychological. But I think it's so useful for everyone to know

because obviously we all have brains. We all have brains. Psychology is relevant for everyone, especially in today's society when there is so much going on in our like so much stimulation going on in our day-to-day life without us even knowing so i think it's so important to like grasp on to the idea that we are in control of our of ourselves and how we think and it's just very important to be aware of that so this chimps paradox book it says we've got a

human brain and we've got a chimp brain and we've got a chimp brain because obviously our ancestors our ancestors i don't think ancestors basically evolutionally speaking we have obviously well i believe in evolution so the evolution theory um but this is obviously theoretically speaking as humans we have evolved from chimps and like monkeys and gorillas and the is it the neo neo neothandules neothandules i think that's what it's i think that's how you say it i probably butchered that word um sorry if i have neothandules oh god i don't know anyway the chimp brain so it it works off emotion it works off intrinsic emotion instincts like we basically think of anything that's going to help us survive because obviously survival of the fittest that's how we

think theoretically speaking so there's going to be a lot of decisions that we make that are based off our chimp brain which some you know sometimes it's good and it's correct and we should follow that chimp brain but sometimes it's not good and it's not correct and it's actually very irrational because our chimp brain hasn't adapted to the modern day life that we live in and so that's where our human brain comes in and our human brain is a lot more logical thinking it's rational it's factual it's based off facts so it can be really hard to differentiate the two give an example me wanting to not go on the date that's my chimp brain speaking because emotionally speaking from experience and speaking from past traumas in my life. I have had bad experiences with dates, bad experiences with guys,

rejection with a capital R a lot of the time. So the chimp brain is going to want to protect me and think, no, you don't want to go on this date. Generalizes this guy and this date to all the other past experiences that I've had, which makes sense, doesn't it? Because it's obviously protecting us in whatever way it can. But that's not rational, because I don't know this guy well enough. I don't know if he's actually really nice. I don't know how this date's gonna go.

It could be fine. Nine times out of 10, it usually is. Well, maybe not nine times out of 10. I'd say like 50-50. And so my human brain would obviously think of the facts and the facts and the logistics and the probability if this date is going to be shit or not if this man's going to reject me or not so I obviously push past my chimp brain and my chimp thinking and I stuck with my

human brain because I was like Millie you don't know you don't know you can't base your current situations and scenarios off your past experiences yes it makes sense to do that but it's too generalizable it doesn't it doesn't work so this book it is life-changing I'm literally about three chapters in so probably in the next episode or maybe a few episodes later on you'll hear me talking a lot more about this because I'm obviously going to learn a lot more. But right now, we're on the surface level. And I feel like even that, talking about the chimp and the human brain, even that is enough to acknowledge that, you know, there are actually two different brains and two different ways of thinking. And the way that you think sometimes isn't always right even though

we think it is we want to think it is anyway we want to always be right we want to be correct we want to be right as humans we never want to be wrong because we feel like that's a failure or we feel like that's embarrassing we can't be wrong like we've been punished you know during school and I don't know how family your family dynamics but for me like you you get punished if you're wrong if you're in the wrong so we never want to be wrong we always want to think that we're right but like I said the chimp brain isn't always right so take that if you know if you take anything from this episode take that away with you so anyway dating life oh my god and also on the date yesterday one of you guys came up to me on the date I love that she was like oh bless her I

if you're listening you are such an angel you're such an angel um thank you for coming to say hi um don't feel embarrassed or don't feel like I think she messaged me after she was like I'm so sorry if I interrupted and I was like oh my god don't be sorry I'm sure it made the guy think oh this girl's obviously doing something right you know so you've actually done me a favor but yeah that that happened and that was quite funny we were in a sports bar so god yeah it wasn't it wasn't a good location of a date guys really it's not a good location but we move we move life goes on this episode is kindly sponsored by misfits so as you all know i absolutely adore misfits they have the protein bars the protein powders and now they've got the cereal oh my god so i've got the chalk cinnamon

flavor now i'm ready for a live taste test. There's something about having cereal in the middle of the day or even in the evening. Oh my god, in the evening it's the best thing ever. I love it. I'm a cereal queen so I literally eat this any time of the day. And you'll also find me eating it out of the box or on top of yoghurt. I love that as well. It's vegan. It's got 14 grams of protein in it. They've also got chocolate flavour as well so make sure you try that. If you real girls 20 at checkout you get 20 off any items on the misfits website and my favorite protein bar flavor is speculus white chocolate or the chocolate brownie oh my god no

wait or the mint chocolate chip that's also so good if you go on the website you're bound to find a flavor that you're gonna love and you know what's the key ingredient in my millie's cookies it is in fact the salted caramel protein powder and if you don't know the Millie's cookies, then get to know. I always say I would never, ever promote a brand that I don't believe in, that I don't like, or I don't use myself. So why don't you grab some snacks, maybe a misfit snack, and chillax, and check out the link in the description box of the podcast episode as well.

Mmm. Anyway, speaking of life, it has been a rollercoaster. It's been a rollercoaster. I am also I really don't want to be talking about just myself on this podcast. I guess it's gonna have to be the case isn't it? But anyway yeah life is crazy. Life is crazy. You know what? Being in this industry is so fast paced. I mean even just being in society we all it's everything's fast paced isn't it? But especially in this industry where everything is just moving 100 miles per hour everything is based off events instagram updates tiktok updates

everything like we're losing our attention span and i think that is actually reflecting in our day-to-day lives as well because even me i feel like i've actually developed add which is adhd but without hyperactiveness i probably do have a bit of hyperactiveness, but I'm just self-diagnosing myself with ADD for now. And I genuinely think that I've got ADD because of my job, because I'm always having to be on my phone. I'm always having to get this stimulation for my brain. And obviously it builds a tolerance. So like, let's say TikTok, the shorter the videos i'm going to be watching the shorter my attention span is going to be because it's going to build up this

tolerance and it's going to get bored so much more easily of like longer form videos or things that aren't even videos like reading i find reading so hard now which is really annoying because it's scary because if it's like this now then what is it going to be like in oh sorry i just hit the mic what's it going to be like in 20 years time even 10 years time oh my god even five think back what was happening five years ago oh see this when the brain fog kicks in and i don't even know i can't even tell you i think i was traveling uh was i traveling yeah i probably actually was traveling but even then tiktok wasn't around tiktok wasn't around when i was traveling which blows my mind by the way if you guys want to hear about my travels my solo travels I went traveling by

myself yes I know you're probably thinking but Millie how did you do that if you had social anxiety well I think I think that traveling trip gave me social anxiety guys I really do believe that I came away from that trip feeling like I just wanted to be by myself I think because either I got so comfortable by myself for six months obviously I've met people here and there but it was the meeting people constantly constantly small talk all the time and it's the same small talk oh where have you been what country have you just come from blah blah which you know I don't mind it's enjoyable but it's exhausting and it's not very it's not very exciting is it and a lot of the time I just kind of chose to be by myself which is really sad like you know how I don't know if people know the traveling sort of life but

you would like get hostels and you'd share like a dorm with other people this is a big regret in my life I would either pay more to have my own room and not be in a dorm or I'd pay more to be in just an all-girls dorm but usually the all-girls dorm were full of people who were just in hostels but like they weren't traveling they were just sort of working and they you know they're just in a hostel because obviously it's expensive living in like Australia whatever so yeah you just go in hostel and so I didn't actually meet many travelers when I was doing that and I think yeah so I got so comfortable being by myself that I came back with social anxiety and then obviously that just got worse and worse and deteriorated because of my eating disorder so it wasn't a great combination anyway I digress social media my attention span ADD it's all there

I'm putting it all on the plate I'm I'm literally exposing myself aren't I but you know what everyone is probably well not, but I'm sure a lot of you guys can relate in some way or another. But like I said, Millie G is on a new chapter in her life. She's dating. She's going to events by herself. She's going to parties by herself. She's meeting new people, like so many new people. And obviously it's not about the quantity. It's all about the quality and friends. But it's's so it's so interesting to meet so many people because you learn so much about yourself and about others and you know how you interact or like you learn about the industry because obviously I'm meeting other influencers or I'm meeting managers

I'm meeting people like working for brands and you make connections and you can't do that if you're sat in your bedroom by yourself in your comfort zone so yeah traveling was a whole experience would I do it again I don't think I would I don't think I would I don't know if that's because I've done it so I wouldn't do it again sort of thing like I don't know if I would rewind the clock and do it again without having experienced it already I don't't know. I, you know what, I learned so much when I went away and I obviously saw so much incredible culture and I tried lots of different foods and it was nice. It was nice, but it was hard. It was a very difficult time in my life. I didn't realize how homesick I was going to get. And I didn't realize how much of like a family person I was I don't

know how much I want to go into like my childhood and my upbringing um just yet anyway I'm not sure I haven't really prepared to talk about this yet I may cry who knows if I talk about this but um I just didn't have a nice well well, no, let me rewind. I had a very comfortable upbringing. I was a very privileged child. But my relationship with my parents was quite distant, I think. As a younger girl, I was like very close to my dad. Not really my mum.

My mum was always working. She was like, to be honest, both my parents were. they were working such long hours they both worked in like medicine so such long hours mum was commuting from London so I never really was at home with my parents like I was always being looked after by my friends parents and I was kind of like alternating between loads of different friends parents any one of my friends parents who could literally look after me or pick me up from school make me dinner that night take me to dance school like you know I would go to them so I actually wow I didn't really spend a lot of my childhood with my parents when you think about it in the grand scheme of things your parents you know they bring you up they pick you up from school every day they drop you off they cook your meals just the little things the tiny little things

and I think a lot of that was taken away from me because of just a busy lifestyle my parents had which I absolutely applaud them for being so hard working and I think that's where I get my hard working trait from but yeah I I wasn't really that close with my family and my parents I was very distant and I think obviously I'm now mature enough to acknowledge this but as a child as a teenager I just was moody obviously my eating disorder did not help at all but I just was very distant I wasn't very close with my parents um and my relationship with my dad deteriorated a lot it wasn't fun I think again my eating disorder just a lot. It wasn't fun. I think, again, my eating disorder just really took over.

I don't even know where I was going with this. This is why I think I have ADD because my brain is like going from one thing to the next to the next. That's a bit of my childhood and a lot of my childhood traumas have kind of translated into some issues that I deal with now which is fear of rejection, being a people's pleaser, not feeling good enough, my eating disorder definitely was like,

obviously that was a motive for my eating disorder, I never felt good enough, I always wanted to please people, and I wanted to please my dad, I wanted to impress my dad, I wanted to impress my mom, obviously, but I don't know why, I just wanted to impress my dad more, and my mom obviously but I don't know why I just wanted to impress my dad more and my sort of reward from them would always be sort of money they'd give me money if I got you know a grade A in my dance exam or whatever so I never really was rewarded with affection I guess and obviously you know my parents were affectionate, but I just don't think the affection that I was wanting, I don't think I was getting enough of it. I guess, yeah, I just wasn't getting affection. I just wasn't at the end of the day. And I think that's also why I had such an issue with my love life, because I wasn't used to affection because I wasn't used to affection I wasn't used to tuning into my emotions

to that level I think because I was so used to not having affection not having hugs kisses even words of affirmation like not really any of that really kind of like obviously my parents would always be proud and say they're proud but I think it was quite limited I think it was quite limited so like I said a lot of my issues I I'm you know trying to overcome now is all deeply rooted from my childhood and it'll be the same for you and I think it's so important to be aware of this because obviously if you're not aware of it you're not self-aware then you're just going to be riding the wave and hoping that something changes. But at the end of the day, it's within you. Something within you doesn't need to change, but you just need to address it.

And maybe find alternative ways to act or go about it. But for me, an alternative way to find affection in my life is to confront my fear of rejection and and go on dates so god I'm really exposing myself here aren't I I guess I you know what journaling is so cliche to say isn't it everyone's like journal journal journal I never got on to this sort of journaling thing until I was it was like I think it locked down I was so I was in a dark place, a dark place in my head. And I honestly thought, I have nothing else that I can do. I literally felt like it was the last resort to journal. I don't know why it shouldn't have been the last resort. But I was like, I am struggling so much right now

that I think even if I just grab a pen, at least that would help. Because I can't find anything else that's going to help me right now. I was so, so down and sad and thinking about now it's like oh traumatic flashbacks are coming to me and it's not nice because they're so vivid and I'm literally getting goosebumps right now oh god can you hear my throat crackling I'm not ready for some tears tonight I'm not ready for some tears um but yeah even just a bit of journal even a bit of journaling it it made a world of a difference and so the more I journal the more I get the thoughts down on paper and the more I become self-aware of the things that I deal with and all of that so again journaling is very cliche but I do believe in it I think it's really good you don't

have to journal every day you just journal when you feel like you need to I haven't journaled I don't think for the past two weeks because I haven't felt like I need to but I probably it probably will come to the point where like very soon where I'm going to journal again because I think it comes in waves you have like good weeks and bad weeks and when you have like two good weeks I always think something's going to happen some emotion is going to come up and that's fine but that's my time to journal and become aware of it so yeah I don't really know what this episode is I think it's just being open and honest with you guys opening up this season two with honesty as always because we're real we're real here guys we are real girls radio or real

girl radio today and yeah just giving you a little lowdown on my life right now again I am sorry I'm sweating under this blanket it's like a sheep's blanket actually dripping i'm living alone and i think it's making me a lot more self-aware again it's pushing me out of my comfort zone it's making me more sociable it's making me meet more people and anna if you're listening to this i love you so much my flatmate anna she moved to bali and i fully fully support her decision to move, to move, because she really is a yogi, yogi Balinese gal at heart, and it was, I think it was, yeah, her time to go to Bali, and flourish, and it was hard for me, it was really hard, oh my my god I'm gonna cry I don't wanna cry it was really hard because

Anna was such like a lovely support system for me and we really support each other and we came out of like oh my god guys this isn't going to be an emotional podcast episode this is going to be an uplifting one oh god Millie um yeah we really helped each other a lot we really helped each other come out of our own dark places and we were like oh we were just yeah we were just great together so when she left it was really scary for me um but it's so important to put yourself out of your comfort zone because i could have obviously started to maybe rely on anna which wouldn't be good that's not fun that's not good we don't need to rely on people we need to obviously grow as a person and friends in our life help us grow as a person but they should never control us as a person if that makes sense like you need to do it off your own back they're there to support you but it's down to you to like

take those tools that you've learned and use them in your day-to-day life and use them with the challenges that face you and that's what's happening at the moment in my life and it's great it really is great it's very much needed and i'm excited for this chapter i'm excited for this season we're gonna have guests on we have got well i have planned some guests have i asked them no but this is my sign to now ask them because i can't expect them to come on here if i haven't asked them already do you know what i mean so we're gonna have some nice guests we're gonna have some good fun guests we're to have a mixture of different ones. And I'm really excited for this season, guys.

I'm really excited to just get this ball rolling again. I've just missed recording. It's so fun. It's like a therapy session for me as well. And Emma, she'll be coming back on very soon whenever she's ready. I love you, Emma, if you're listening. We all love you.

I guess I'm going to end the episode here. Oh, I need to finish off with a flop on a fly god it's not a real girls radio episode if it's not ending with a flop on a fly so a flop for me this week um this morning I had a blip um after my night out last night I had a lot of alcohol and for some reason for some reason I woke up this morning I felt guilty that's the first thing I felt I felt guilty and you know what guys I'm gonna admit I was body checking this morning I was body checking I was lifting up my top of the mirror body checking and I was like Millie what the fuck are you doing why do you think that that's gonna help you because it's not what are you searching for you're searching for things to pick up and be angry at and you're searching

for things to hate about you and your body and you're searching for more reasons to validate your feeling of guilt after drinking alcohol which just is wrong it's wrong and I I obviously realized this I was going to skip breakfast which is absurd but I didn't I had a nice big bowl of porridge and I honestly got on with my day as usual and literally after I'd say about after the first hour maybe an hour and a half of the morning I just got back into my normal self and that was fine but it was a blip so I'm gonna say it's a flop I guess the fly is coming out of it but also I'm gonna use another fly um what's another fly I guess yeah like I've already said going to events by myself being this new confident woman new confident independent woman we love that

so that's my flop and fly and my quote it is confidence isn't walking into a room thinking you're better than everyone it's walking in not having to compare yourself to anyone at all let me say that again confidence isn't walking into a room thinking you're better than everyone it's walking in not having to compare yourself to anyone at all and i truly truly think i have reached this point and this is honestly like such an eye-opener for me because that's literally what it is it's not feeling like you have to compare yourself to people and I genuinely think that I don't now I walk into a room and I don't I really don't it's not the first thing I do the first thing I do I'm like oh everyone looks so friendly or who can I go up and say hi to it's yeah that's it

that is it and I love that quote so take that with you guys for today and love yourselves and yeah oh my god I will see you in the next episode baby maybe with a guest maybe not we shall see but I love you guys bye Bye. Thank you for listening. Love you.