Real Girls Radio - EP 18: answering your sticky dilemmas

Episode Date: October 19, 2022

grab some snack and chillax whilst we chat ABOUT...your sticky dilemmas! We asked you guys to send in your dilemmas and you delivered! We loved doing this <3Please continue sharing and reviewing this poddy, it helps us continue making it! Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/e-1-the-unheard-truth-of-millys-journey. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Love this podcast? Support this show through the Acast Supporter feature. It's up to you how much you give and there's no regular commitment. Just hit the link in the show description to support now. Hello and welcome to Real Girls Radio. I'm Millie. And I'm Emma. And we are both very normal bro girls just like you. Here to talk about all things health, fitness and navigating your way through this crazy life.

We're your new besties. We want you to feel part of our weekly chats and we're excited to invite you in to our exclusive girl gang. Grab some snacks and chillax whilst we chat. Woo! Yeah. Okay, I think we've got it. Hello, welcome back to the potty. Hello, sorry guys, I'm eating chocolate.

I just gave Millie an early birthday present. Oh, that's so sweet. And one of them was a box of chocolates with really cute quotes on them. Really sweet. And she gave me one and it says, thank you for all that you do. I'm not quite sure what I do about you.

And it's so true. And Emma gave me, we need more people like you in the world. Aww. So let's just all say happy birthday to Millie right now, because by the time you listen to this, it would have already been her birthday. Yay.

So happy birthday. Yay. I'm not gonna sing to you, because my singing voice is not the one. And I would just literally go so bright red, but thank you so much. Birthdays really like, they excite me so much, but also like they scare me.

Oh yeah, I think it gets to a point where like, you start to feel yourself getting a bit older. Not that we're old at all, but like, where I don't wanna get to the point where I'm like, wanting it to not be my birthday. But also it does just reinforce like, shit, these years are going by quick. Life goes fast.

Very quickly. I remember my grandma saying, this was literally not even that long ago, so she's about, I wanna say 85, and she said she still feels like 18. Yeah. She's like, whatever you do, just take every moment in

because it will literally flash by. Like it will just go like that. It's so scary. How old do you feel? I still feel 18. I feel, I definitely still feel like I'm in sixth form, like the sixth form self. Yeah.

I can't believe I'm not a uni anymore. Like, you know, everyone's just gone back to uni and I'm seeing so much like university studying content on like Instagram and Pinterest. And I'm like, oh my God, that was so long ago. God, it was. But I remember like thinking before I went to uni, like, oh my God, that was so long ago. Oh my God, it was. But I remember like thinking before I went to uni, like, oh God, uni is so old.

Like, oh my God, I'm old. I'm going to uni. Because I remember like seeing my, all my siblings go to uni. And I was thinking like, oh wow, I've got so much time before I go to uni. And then it just suddenly comes and now it's gone. It's gone.

Yeah. So, you know. Moral of the story. Moral of the story. Soak up every little bit of life. Embrace it all. It goes quick. Life's too short.

Anyway, what's your flop and fly, hun? I'm just gonna eat my chocolate. Yeah, you can eat your chocolate. You can eat your chocolate, you can enjoy that. Flop and fly. So, my fly is that, well, I'm actually going to Bali. By the time you listen to this, I'll be going to Bali in a few days.

You'll be there? I'll be there. You might even be back. No. How long are you going for? I'll go for three weeks. Oh, I'm going to miss you. I know.

I'm actually going to really miss you. It's crazy because like, I love being so busy. Like, this job is amazing. I absolutely love it. But you don't realise how much you kind of have to sort out and sort of cancel

or like work around when you go away. Yeah. And it's like three weeks is a long time. Like, I've had to do a lot of preparation for these three weeks before. It's crazy, but it's nice though. Like I'm enjoying it. I'm enjoying the fact that I'm actually gonna go away.

What are you most looking forward to in Bali? Ooh, I just think the sun. The sun and well, I'm going away with like, like loads of different people. Like there's gonna be like groups of people that will get like my friend and I'm gonna like pop in and out and I'm really excited to just meet people and like just live that lifestyle like the acai bowls oh I'm gonna be so jealous water there's just the scenery oh I just can't wait oh I'm so excited yay um so that's my fly my flop my flop is so it's to do with therapy and recently I have been really really struggling with my skin and

my confidence in my skin my it's just breaking out like crazy and I think I've realized that ever since starting therapy it's made my skin like go crazy and I had a thought I was like I would rather not go to therapy than go to therapy to have my skin like this which is so bad like I'd rather not focus on my mental health than get something get something yeah do you think it's probably just a coincidence like it isn't a like it probably isn't a direct result of therapy i mean i told my therapist and she was like your emotion and your stress levels and anything it it has to go somewhere and like this is my body's response to it it's reacting it's it's it has to come out in some way and like this is how it's coming out and obviously it's different for everyone but

i'm just very prone for it to come out and through my skin i mean i know it probably doesn't matter what other people say but genuinely i think you look great and i i have not noticed anything bad about your skin i love you really no really you look great like when i saw you today i was like oh really considering the stressful day you had yesterday as well i was like no you do you look really like healthy and glowy. Wow. That's really good to hear. We do love a bit of Charlotte Tilbury makeup, though.

Oh, yeah. Bit of Hourglass. Bit of Hourglass, yeah. Emma got me some Hourglass makeup, and it's generally just made my day. It's made my whole week. Oh, it has been. No, it really, really has.

It really, really has lifted my spirit. Good. Obviously, seeing you is just lifting my spirits as well, but that is just top of it. Hourglass makeup and me. Can you get a better combo you absolutely can't and chocolate oh yeah oh my god winning anyway really good it's really good chocolate isn't it remember just a reminder guys to grab your snacks and chillax whilst we chat because we forget to remind you of this yeah we forget and also we forget to bring our bar snacks. So this is starting that sort of journey.

Oh my God, we should take it in turns to bring a snack. And we should also maybe bring a snack that potentially the other person hasn't tried before. Yes, okay, you have to bring stuff back from Bali. And I'll bring stuff back from Paris. Oh, absolutely, it's a deal. It's a deal. Wow.

Love that. Did you say your fly? My fly, Bali yeah my flop it's kind of a fly but also a flop so since what happened with the miscarriage I yeah I haven't I didn't have a period for about eight nine weeks and it was really stressing me out did the doctors like prepare you for that did they know it's like oh no I like I did research and stuff and obviously I was reading like it can really throw off your your hormones and like mess up your menstrual cycle but like I was still really worried about it because I know how much of an impact stress can have on your menstrual cycle.

And I did lose my period a while ago, like years ago, got it back. So I was really worried that the stress that I went through made me lose my period again. There's always that fear. And anyway, it came back, which is a good thing. But it was the worst pain and the worst bloating I have ever experienced.

Like the bloating was, it really- I saw your picture. It really messed with me. And like, I felt really bad for like eight days, that bad body image, feeling so bad about myself in a lot of pain. But like, I mean, I posted that picture to normalize it because it is so normal for your body to fluctuate and i think people still don't realize like even

you and i and you know every girl suffers with the bloating and the bad body image days and feeling a bit fluffy and just feeling yeah yeah yeah yeah and it's so hard when you're going through that it's so hard to remind yourself this is normal like like I don't know about you but when I'm bloated or when I'm feeling just you know really bad myself I think it's never gonna go away like I think that is me forever now like I'm never gonna get back to when I was feeling confident in my body blah blah but blah, blah. But it's just always so temporary. Like it always goes back and you're like, oh, I knew it, every month.

Every month, it's so unfair, isn't it? You just have to really like not body check, put on a baggy jumper or t-shirt. Yeah, you really, really just have to do that and embrace it. Like you just have to accept it, there's no other way. And just know like every other girl is going through it. And actually you need to,

like I was trying to make myself think like no this is a good thing because it means you're happy you're healthy and it needs to happen yeah your body it's not like it's gonna just stay in one little like what you call like framework because especially like as we're getting older as well as it's gonna change what he's gonna fuck you even more you know so we just have to really learn to accept that. I sometimes even think like when I get pregnant, if I can hopefully, I worry that I'm gonna feel really like self-conscious

in my body and not allow, like kind of overlook the fact that I'm creating a human inside me and really just focus on how my body looks and I'm worried about that. But I think with so many women who obviously do get pregnant and who are lucky enough to get pregnant, that I would hope that like the idea

of having a baby overshadows your insecurities of how your body looks. But I'm sure like, you know, people still struggle with that a lot. I think it's really hard not to fixate on our bodies all the time. Yeah, I'm really trying to work on that. Like I think it's really hard not to fixate on our bodies all the time yeah I'm really trying to work on that like I really am um like since like I've had a little bit of a struggle in the summer um but it it really made me realize how much like body dysmorphia can get in your head

and change again a few days later like okay yeah yeah when I had like a really bad bloating day, I felt awful about myself. I cried and I was just like, what's happened? Whereas yesterday I woke up and I felt great. I was like, oh, I look great today. But also, isn't it crazy how much our mood is affected on that? By how you feel, yeah. It's crazy and it's so sad because sometimes

we just can't help it. And I feel like the more you're aware about it, the more you will be able to get through those days. Like it is still shit and you do still feel shit in yourself, but it's easier to get through those days when you know that it's not like that forever. And like literally you as a person. And no one cares how blow-shy you are. No one even notices it.

No, no, no, no, no. Cause we are no one even notices it no no no no because we are we are in biggest critics we are our own yeah and we see ourselves every single like minute of the day so there's so much that we see that other people don't see i think sometimes i find it a lot harder because i feel like lately it's always a coincidence. Like whenever I have planned to film something for a brand or like for Tala for example, like that day I had to film like a workout day in the life reel for Tala. And I felt so bloated and gross about myself.

And like when you have to be on camera, when you feel like that, it's just not the one. But do you not think that that's probably because you're putting more pressure on yourself to look your best? Yeah. But also you don't really wanna film yourself for brand looking extremely good.

But you may not actually be as bodiced as you think. Yeah, it's a lot. Because there is so much like, I remember when I was underweight, literally what I saw in the mirror was so different to what people saw yeah like I can't I literally it's like I had glasses on yeah or a blindfold on I don't know like just a different whole different view of myself it's almost like when you have when you're on your period

you have those glasses on yeah well I guess because your hormones are all whack yeah maybe they're everywhere I think it could be anyway that's my flop but it's also kind of a fly because yeah period yeah no that's definitely a great she's fertile she's back she's healthy she's on track um and my fly is that i joined a new gym called fly oh i love that gym you took me yeah i took you there so i left fitness first when i moved into my current house but then i just i you know after everything i just decided i wanted a fresh yourself and like to change things up and like you know start again i think that's a really good idea and i joined the gym again it's a really nice gym and it's very quiet and they do classes like pilates and i feel

like when i went there i felt really bougie yeah it's a really amazing they have goldway yeah i love it it's like i recently be going to pilates classes have you love like reformer pilates oh no i saw on your story it's really making me like romanticize my days and like it's just little things like that that make me so happy yeah i love it so much i'm definitely getting more into that yeah oh and another fly sorry i'm just swallowing my chocolate go on um i have been making some really good recipes oh yeah i've been seeing them she's so creative no i am really proud of no you're so like they don't just look good like they actually taste amazing can you bring some in is that a bit impractical?

No, I can bring them in a tupperware. Those things that you showed me earlier, Lotus. Lotus cheesecake mini apple cheesecake bites. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Like I would never have thought to put Biscoff and apple together. And cinnamon. It was just a great flavor combination.

And I made pumpkin banana muffins the other day. I made pumpkin mac and cheese I made like a brie cheesy bagel with like figs yeah do you like do you like pumpkin I did I didn't think I did I didn't think I did but I put it into mac and cheese and it was lovely so Halloween theme I'm finding it to be very therapeutic yeah and as much as like part of it is my job. Yeah. To create recipes and film recipes. Like I do really enjoy doing it.

Well, that's the thing you have to. Like you should, everyone should enjoy their job. Yeah. Like everyone should have, well not should, but I feel like it's so important to get to a point in your life where like your job doesn't feel like a job. Yeah. I'm trying to like really like,

fall in love with the actual act of doing it rather than thinking, right, I've got to take this off, let's do this and get this filmed and done. You know what, it's because there's that saying, it's like where they, when you turn a hobby into, or when you monetize a hobby, that's when it becomes a chore. Yeah.

And it's crazy. You have to almost reverse it. Yeah. And like, remember remember like to be present in the moment and actually yeah no definitely i think we all need to hear that yeah well like we said right at the beginning of the episode like your life just goes like that bye-bye so you've got to do stuff you enjoy and if you don't if you feel like you're not enjoying something you do my biggest tip is to like romanticize your life and like try to like romanticize something so

simple like if you gotta clean your house like put on your favorite playlist and like put on like a comfy outfit and like make yourself a snack yeah no i think like obviously some people may not enjoy that but like me and you we love that i think yeah like make it fun like make going to the gym yeah like get a friend yeah like so for example this morning i had to go all the way to b&q which is quite far for me to get this floor lamp i had to carry it back it's massive and i was on this bus anyway i was like right i'm gonna make this an enjoyable experience i went i went downstairs went to this gorgeous new coffee shop that i've discovered in my new place and i got myself a latte i had my music on i was just in my zone yeah and then i collected my floor lamp and i came back and i really enjoyed that experience like yes you can completely reinvent an experience it's your perception yeah i really

think like if you if you have like a really horrible job to do yeah just think about how you can make it a little bit more yeah there's always there's always um what's it called good things and always trying to find the good you know what she's trying to say i mean guys you know i mean anyway today's episode today's episode is an interesting one we get a lot of questions from you guys asking for advice and tips and help So we thought we would do a kind of like a agony on style Podcast yeah, we just kind of answer some of your questions give our advice give our tips and agony on if you're new to the podcast hello Welcome agony on is basically we did this night series one one. Yes. Kind of briefly, not in every episode,

but we it's basically, I don't know. You kind of came up with, was it a name that you made up or is it an oldie thing? I hadn't heard of this. No, I think it used to be like a column in like, oh, magazine. Yeah, you did say this. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And it's like, You write into the, I don't know. Yeah, you write into like the magazine and then the magazine writer will solve your problem. Yeah. So that's basically where we got it from. We're just going to go through some of your questions. The first thing I've just seen.

Why is all they want? Why is it all they want is a shag? Why is it? Why is it all that they want is a shag? So this person is asking why guys only want you for sex. You know what? I genuinely think there is so much innate reasoning behind this. It's evolutionary.

Like men have an innate desire to penetrate the vagina. Penetrate the vagina. But they generally like, there's an instinct within them that tells them that they have to literally plant their seed yeah into all the all the women like it's survival of the fittest they need to like spread their genetics yeah so i think it there is a large degree of that yes involved but like as well i don't as much as sometimes i've i've been under the belief that men are like that not all men are like no no no no and not all men just want to have no it's of you but when you really like strip back all of like their consciousness it is

just literally driven by evolution evolution and the chimp. The monkey. The monkey. So that's that. So that's that. Sorry. Sorry, that's what we can give you there. Someone said, is it true they find the lower belly pooch sexy?

So I'm guessing again, is it true that men find the lower belly pooch sexy? So I actually did a TikTok and reeled on this. It got, I think, about over a views but on both reels and tiktok so it's a very like something that's very sort of relevant for everyone the lower belly the lower belly pooch you know how it like goes out a bit and so many comments were saying that guys find it really sexy like guys actually love that when they see that and i don't know the reasoning behind it. I don't know. Really? Yeah, I don't know what it is about it.

But apparently it's something that really gets them going. Like they will literally, like guys even cornered in there are like, no, no, no, I see that and I think she's a 10 out of 10. Like that would take her from maybe a 7 out of 10 to a 10 out of 10. Do you think it might, again, I know we're talking about evolution a lot,

but like signal that you have a womb inside there. Because it is your ovaries and your womb. That's where those ovaries are. I strongly believe in evolution. So maybe it's signaling to the males that we are perfect. Yeah. But also, it could also be men like it because it shows women aren't this like stick thin perfect like not perfect

no it makes men realize like women aren't yeah yeah yeah ideal that they are being shown on social media and it's like oh she's like a normal girl because i think when i think guys can really tell when girls are being so um aware of how they look in front of others and so say if you're like you're always sucking in you're always like you know trying to keep your back straight and like your hair like perfect and whatever it actually is off-putting yeah like if you're just breathing normally letting that little pooch just sit where it needs to sit i think it just overall makes you look more relaxed and more like you're confident in yourself yeah do you know what i mean there's no point

hiding it like you are who you are there's literally no point hiding it literally no point um but yeah that that's actually god there's i'm seeing i'm reading through these ones and there's three about the pooch already. Low belly pooch. I think we should both talk about that because I remember when I suffered with my eating disorder and I look back at pictures of myself when I was like tiny. Did you have a pooch? You didn't have a pooch?

I didn't have a pooch, but I remember thinking I still wasn't lean enough yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah like a six-pack no and like I still remember being able to pinch like a little bit of skin on my tummy oh my god see with my experience I was obviously so underweight so skinny so just unhealthy in so many ways. I still had a pooch. I still had a pooch. Like it's genetic. Some girls you see like Bella Hadid,

you know her stomach is completely flat. Like there's nothing in there. She just is genetically like that. Other models, they will have a pooch in there. Like me, I was so, so underweight and so tiny. I still have a pooch in there like me i had i was so so underweight and so tiny i still had a pooch like if i got any skinnier i generally i don't know what would have happened to me so you can't get rid of it if it's your genetics i think most females have like it's normal to have belly fat like it's so. And most women are predisposed,

what's the word? Yeah, predisposed to store body fat in that area. Your lower hips, your like your glutes, your lower belly. Like it does make you unhealthy. Like you need it. Like I don't think it's, we need to stop comparing ourselves to these Victoria's Secret style models who do have the

genetics where they don't have that yeah pooch yeah literally most of us do it's like we are we are looking at a very small population of women who don't have a pooch and we're generalizing it to the whole population like how does that that doesn't make sense yeah embrace the pooch embrace the pooch come on girls okay i there was a few questions about night time eating and binging on sweets every night and oh like after a night out no no when it gets night yeah yeah oh i've been a victim to this at night fully and i have have you been a victim oh absolutely yeah it's like you have this willpower yeah all day stick to your strict plan and then suddenly night time hits and you're about to go to bed and you just cannot control yourself yeah and it's like all willpower goes out the window and I have not that I'm saying it's good to have that willpower.

Like I'm actually going to talk about why your whole diet is probably flawed and that's why that's happening. But because this is something that I struggled with previously and a lot of my clients suffer with this nighttime eating syndrome, if you want to call it that the binging at night i did some research into it and a lot of it is psychological where your willpower is essentially like it's a limited resource yeah i did this in uni did you yeah go on girl keep going like all day throughout the day no matter if it's like work stress or family stress or you know you're eating behaviors and willpower yeah your willpower is gradually being depleted throughout the day so when it gets to night time that willpower tank is nearly empty yeah yeah so your urge to eat and snack is going to be so much higher especially if you have been starving yourself and you're eating really restrictive diets you are much more prone to go into that snack drawer yeah crazy and

binge yeah so my biggest tips first of all it's very likely that you're following a very very strict diet yeah and not allowing yourself to eat the types of foods that you're tending to binge on you just need to start incorporating them more throughout the day and let yourself eat a bit of chocolate in the day. And then you will feel less likely to binge on it at nighttime. You probably need to increase your calories and move away from that all or nothing approach. And this doesn't always help, but sometimes it can help to have more regular meal times,

not in a restrictive way, but to make sure you're actually eating like breakfast lunch dinner as snacks because a lot of women will you know fasting works for some people i even used to do it myself but if you are starving yourself fasting all day long you are much more likely to binge eat because your body is hungry yeah it's screaming it's screaming for food i um so i when i don't eat for a certain period of time for whatever reason say like i've just i know we're recording a podcast for like four hours you know i've eaten um when i like when i'd get home i would like even if i'm not necessarily hungry hungry i would just have the urge yeah rage the cupboards, like rage them.

So I've always noticed that in myself. And I was always like, why? Like, why am I doing this? It's like, I'm not even trying to intentionally restrict. It's like, I just have this urge. And it's all, it is so psychological. There's so much psychology behind it. And even though like, yeah,

you've got the whole like will power conversation but also you need to listen to your body and not ignore like if i were to ignore it's so it's so hard because it's like finding that middle ground like if i were to ignore that urge to to eat food and yeah then that would have an effect maybe you know the next day and like the day after and i think that would then go that would then you know go to the argument of like binging on the weekends yeah because the people have the willpower for like all week all week and then it runs out yeah so it's the same argument but you need to just find that middle ground of like listening to what your body wants but also your mind because there's like mental hunger

and then but then also realizing that okay why am i doing this binge like is it because i probably restricted a bit too much today or like you know work around the reasons behind why you're feeling this way yeah and come with it that way i think that's important because obviously if like it's a one-off thing where like you're really hungry and you've got an urge to like feed yourself because you're starving and it's like a one-off where you like raise the chocolate yeah whatever like that's not a big deal but if you're noticing yourself like bingey taste on sugary processed foods every night it's not healthy for you and that is probably an underlying issue that you need to work on yeah i was definitely a victim to that I think no I

think I didn't realize how common it was the nighttime yeah I really did I actually did when during my degree at uni I did a whole presentation on what was it called like nighttime eating disorder I think that's what it's called and I remember when I was doing this research I always just kept thinking about my dad because like he oh my god he would eat like a whole family packet of nuts oh dad's at night go to the fridge yeah but he doesn't eat in the day so I'm like dad you've got nighttime eating disorder but then obviously I wasn't even thinking about myself but you know like yeah there's a spectrum there but yeah it was really really prevalent and my dad used to do that yeah it's crazy i wonder why yeah why could that be maybe

men are not eating enough in the day it could be linked back to what we were talking about earlier where males don't feel like they can talk about their oh look last week eating disorders yeah yeah and like maybe well it is like eating disorder and they just couldn't admit it. Well, yeah, but also we find it hard to see that they've got an eating disorder because- They're male. They're male. But we shouldn't, cause that's so wrong.

You know? So crazy. It's actually crazy. I feel like we are slowly dismantling this stereotype. We should make it a mission to really like talk about it more and normalize and I guess not open up open the floor for men to feel confident and comfortable to talk about their issues because they should have more men on the podcast we should because that invites

them to talk we and we do actually have a few males listen we do we do. If you're a male, DM us. Holla, holla. Okay, you pick one. I found one. Someone said she's falling for her friends with benefits. Oh, I saw that. Do I tell them or move on? Okay, so me and my friend had a discussion about this, like the whole friends with benefits.

Oh, friends with benefits. We came to a conclusion that there is approximately five to eight times that you can sleep with this person before you'll develop feelings okay i can i touch on this so i was told by a friend that there are categories that you put men like certain men in so let's say your friends of a benefits guy he is only in the shagging category he cannot escape this he cannot go into any other category it has to stay in that category otherwise it just gets messy yeah and like it may seem like oh but it's you know like i'm falling for him like but generally just just stick to the categories just stick, like you're just gonna really get hurt, I feel.

So what are the other categories? Oh, yeah, so you have the chagging category, you got the boyfriend category, and then you got the friend category. Oh, I see what you mean, so males fit into that type. Males, so yeah, the men fit into these categories. I thought you were saying there's three types of friends that benefit.

Oh, no. Because I was no, no, no, no. Cause I was like, well, this is interesting. But also the guys have those categories towards us as well. They will only, like if there's guys, but the thing is guys will, without even knowing they will follow these sort of categories a lot more easily than women do. Because we do just work off our emotions, don't we?

Like we are a lot more emotional just as beings, as women. more easily than women do because we we do just you know work off our emotions don't we like we are a lot more emotional just as beings as women um so we find it hard to keep them in those categories but that's why it's so easy for us to get walked over by men because they're just like well no she's only in the shagging category yeah that's so true i mean like i'm not gonna move her around i've kind of had it ingrained in my head that men don't want to be friends with you they only want you to either be a girlfriend or to sleep with interesting interesting and i know that's not true well i hope yeah but like i've been told it could be true for a lot of a lot of guys yeah i think what's your opinion on being friends and just friends for guys well you know what i i i so i went to all girls school so i i've only really recently had guy friends yeah um probably like the past like three years like proper guy friends so i can actually really like you know just meet them up for a coffee and not see it as anything

yeah but i so i've i've grown up in a family where like if i ever speak about a guy who is a friend like genuinely a friend my family like oh who is he oh my god he's more like he's more than that he's more than a friend like instantly just assuming that he's more than a friend so i slowly started to unlearn that you know guys can just be friends like there doesn't have to be anything more to it. But I know exactly what you mean. There are definitely times in my life where I've felt like I can't be friends with them

because they always see that it's more. Like I can't be friendly because they'll just see it. It's like, oh, maybe she's flirting, like what's this? But that's their problem, it's not yours. I think it's probably a people pleasing habit in us. us anyway we haven't answered this poor person's question i think she should oh should she tell him more move on fuck i think you should probably be open with him either be open with him and tell him how you're feeling or cut it and move on if you already know like he doesn't want anything more because the worst thing you want to do is keep going along with it and being friends with benefits because

you're just going to get more feelings and you're going to get hurt and i think like if it depends how long you've been you've been friends benefits for because if you're not already naturally progressing this sort of you know situationship into a relationship then you're bound like it's just not meant to be. Like he just doesn't want it, which is just the brutal truth. And you just have to accept it and move on. And you will find someone who isn't just a friend

with benefits, they'll also be a loving boyfriend. Cause I don't think, like I could have a friends with benefits for a long duration because why don't you wanna be with me? Do you know what I mean? I'm like, why do you just wanna use me on sex? Like, why do you not wanna have me as more than that? I've never had a friend with benefits.

I don't think I ever could because I think it would hurt my self esteem too much. Cause I feel like, well, you want me for my body, but am I not good enough to actually be a girlfriend? Exactly. I think you have to be a strong character to yeah have friends for benefits yeah i do think you have to be very confident and secure in your own self yeah and maybe like maybe she well no she clearly doesn't want friends benefit

she wants more than that i think you i think you have to move on or tell him he might even feel the same but also if she tells him, it could ruin the friendship. This is why I just think friends with benefits is just a really sticky situation. Maybe tell him, but really be prepared for maybe an answer that you may not wanna hear. Yeah. And I think move on.

Yeah. Ooh, I'm a hopeless romantic trying out online dating it feels like cheating in finding love okay i think everyone not everyone but it's so common to be on yeah dating apps like it is just today's society like that's what that's how it is that's how people meet like it's gone from these online dating websites and it's yeah into like these apps which everyone kind of goes even like in person stuff like you know thursday yeah yeah like the thursday date yeah every thursday it's it's not cheating at all it's just today's way of meeting people and it opens up such a bigger range of people that you can meet yeah i think being a hopeless romantic um so my friend

she is such a hopeless romantic like she just would she just wants the flowers she wants she wants like she wishes she was in you know the era where they were writing love letters and you know she's so she's just so hopeless romantic but i think it's all because it's from all the rom-coms and like the romance films that she's watched so i don't think it's i like i don't think it's unrealistic to be a hopeless romantic but i do just think you have to really adapt to our current society and i definitely don't think it's cheating and finding love no not at all yeah go on go go get him yeah go get those matches okay this one i want to answer

because i literally had this okay so this person has said i'm in my final year at uni and i completely hate my placement i just don't know what to do with crying faces oh I did see this yeah like this honestly was me I did a four-year degree in marketing and my placement was at Airbus and I worked there for a year and about I think it was like five weeks before the end of my placement before I would get that qualification i was like this close to quitting i hated it i would cry driving to work and like i genuinely nearly gave up but you just have to think like i guess it depends how far you are into that year but like a year goes by very quickly though a year flies by and i think back and i actually think of all of the things i learned

from that year yeah absolutely like trumped what i learned in university oh my god so true you just need to think about the things you can gain the networks you can make the experiences and just try like if you hate it just try to really think about like how you can make that more beneficial and helpful for you and your career a year goes quick it's gonna look great on your cv but if it is like serious if it's like early days and it's seriously like killing you i know i'm sure your university will be able to help you find an alternative placement yeah you know you can figure something else out like there's always a way if you absolutely cannot stand it you don't have to stay in it you can just go back to uni or you can find somewhere else but just think about how you can turn that around yeah definitely make use of yeah take advantage of what you can yeah because i think

a year is so it's so valuable at uni like that year you're taken out of uni, it's really valuable. So it could just be that you're meant to hate this placement and you're meant to like find alternatives. Like that is probably what you need to do in this year. It'll grow you as a person. Like the universe probably just being like,

look, this girl needs some sort of problems to resolve. So I'm just gonna chuck this at her and see what she does. So you need to just, you you know take under your wing and just do what you can yeah i will be okay yeah you'll be okay but yeah i do i think it's an important point where you say like it depends how far in you are i remember when i did my degree and i had my dissertation at the end i so they gave you a topic so i never knew this they. So they give you a topic, so I never knew this. They give you a topic to write a dissertation on. I was like, oh, first year I was like,

I know exactly what I'm writing my dissertation on. But no, it gets the third year, they give you, you're put in some sort of like subject within the subject, like within psychology. I was put in animal psychology and my dissertation was gonna be on how, of like, well, it was gonna be animal psychology and my dissertation was going to be on how of like what's going to be on horses and their emotions and how humans so weird horses can communicate through emotion is yeah but it was nothing it was really interesting but nothing that you wanted yeah

nothing that I wanted to do so I was really panicking and I was like shit I've not done this whole degree just to come out with a dissertation on horses like no so I was really panicking and I was like, shit, I'm not done this whole degree just to come out with a dissertation on horses. Like, no. So I was adamant that I was gonna change and I did, but that was because I was early on in the process. But I think if I was like halfway in and I realized I hated it,

I would have just taken your advice and be like, I'm just gonna have to try and switch this around and make it positive. You always gain something. You always gain something from stuff like that. And for anyone who is like early days of university, I highly recommend doing a work placement, even if it's like a shorter term one.

I did a year and it was like one of the best things I did. Even though I didn't really enjoy it that much, it actually made me realize that I wanted to go into fitness and nutrition and work for myself. So I went in for it with a completely different intention and came out with a whole different mindset and where I wanted my future to go and you do learn so much from actually being in a work environment so highly beneficial right another question wait oh okay I'm pretty sure my roommate has feelings for me

and I live with him and my BF. They are besties. Yeah. Oh, so she is living with her BF and his friend. Yeah. And she thinks that her boyfriend's friend has feelings for her. Love triangle.

Oh. Especially when you live with them both. Shit. I wonder why she thinks that. Like, i wonder what signals this guy's giving off if that was you would you go directly to the friend first or to your boyfriend first i would have to go to the friend first yeah because i wouldn't want to i wouldn't want to assume anything and cause a problem if it's not a problem in the first place yeah maybe you should go to the friend and just like in a really like non-direct aggressive way say like i really really hope you don't take this the wrong way but i just wanted to double check because i've been feeling

a certain vibe yeah Yeah. Certain vibe. The same hat. You're feeling a certain vibe. Just very like, you know. I'm catching too much eye contact from you. Yeah. And I just wanted to check, like you don't just have a twitch in your eye.

Yeah. Yeah, that's a sticky situation. I think you just need to have a conversation with him in private without the boyfriend. But also, does it not make you question the type of guy this guy is because he's sort of trying to give off flirty vibes to his best friend you can't help love he might love this girl oh shit yeah that's true there actually are a lot of stories where like yeah a best friend gets with his best friend's ex and then they get married and they're happy

oh loads of stories like that yeah you do have to follow your heart sometimes but i think before he does that just make sure that he is you know that your assumptions are correct before going to yeah before you take it any further have that conversation he might say no like i'm not interested in you at all or he might be like yeah like i yeah feel really bad i wonder if like the bf is also caught caught on with this because they all live together like i'd love to be a fly on the wall yeah could you imagine like you know if like when the girl when the two are having sex and the other guy is listening to them all do you imagine

like taking notes oh my god that's quite funny yeah follow us up on that one yeah I'd love to hear I have a huge crush

on my coach who is seven years older and I'm not sure if he feels the same would this be like a PT coach coach so i'm assuming either like football coach or like oh right or coach i mean i guess it depends how old you are is he single because i think so like i mean my yeah my ex was 10 years older i don't

think age is a problem i guess but it's funny like it depends how old she is yeah like if she's like 16 yeah that might be a bit tricky oh my god but like when you're at school there's always that one fit teacher isn't that everyone fancy yeah there definitely is and like i remember thinking like i would go there but like sometimes even the teachers would go there with the students is it not not illegal to do that? I think it is. I think it is. But I definitely don't think that's stopping people.

Okay, if you're in a school environment, if you fancy this guy, try not to get him in trouble. Yeah. God. Yeah. I don't really know what to, I think I'd need to know more context to the story. Yeah, we definitely need to know more information on that one. Okay. Oh, there's a long one here.

Okay, should we do one more? Yeah. I've been with my boyfriend for over two and a half years. I'm happy, but I'm in a constant battle in my head. I have just started a new career, and he has his own business and also plays football. Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday. We live half an hour away from each other, which isn't far, but I only get to see him once a week on Saturday night,

which is frustrating because I sometimes miss out on opportunities with friends because otherwise I won't see him. Alongside this, we never get to plan weekends away, travelling or little city breaks because of football. He either tells me we'll plan closer to the time or he says, don't rush to book at all and I'm getting a bit fed up. I'm only 19 and I'm worried I'm holding myself back but I find it difficult because I have hope that it will change when we're older

I feel like I'm settling for just the bare minimum but it's a difficult situation and I'm not sure how to go about things I love you both so much I hope you have a lovely day oh we love you too okay she's so she's 19 She's worried she's holding herself back because she's kind of missing out on things on the weekend because it's the only time she sees her boyfriend. It sounds like your relationship's very much based upon his football. One-sided. Which I think is unfair

because you want to book these trips and go on holidays and weekends away, which, you know, that's part of relationships. Like, you should be able to do that and look forward to doing that with your boyfriend. But you know, it sounds like his number one priority is his football. And you don't wanna put your life on hold

and stop doing all the things you wanna do for his career. And also there are so many times where my friends, of course, understandable, they wanna spend more time with their boyfriend than their friends, and then it sadly gets to the stage where they break up, and then they realize that they've actually pushed so many friends away. And I feel like I'm worried that you're doing this,

or maybe you're on your way of doing this, and I don't want you to miss out on things with your friends because your friends, they will stay with you. Especially at the age of 19, I feel like you're at that point where you've sort of filtered out the people that don't serve you well and you've got a good group of friends

or a certain amount of friends. With this guy, he should either be open and understanding that maybe one week you do want to just go out with your friends that's fine or maybe just invite him out with your friends like does his group of friends and your group of friends like collide can they come together can they i do anything on the week can you do anything after football like i think you just need to have open honest conversation with him about how you feel. But also it sounds like you've got the travel bug

and you wanna do some fun things on your weekends and travel a bit. You could even like think about doing those things with your friends and your boyfriend. So then you still see him occasionally, but you're also going away with your friends and going to all the places you want to go to and also i feel like the more that you do this the more resentment you're going to build up yeah

towards him and that's not good don't put your life on hold for a guy no no no no no especially at like your age no no no no you're younger definitely not let's do one more one last one i think we'll do one more we're running short more. We're running short on time, guys. We're running short on time. Sorry. Okay. Oh, is there two parts to this? Yeah. Okay, yeah. So, I want to move to Manchester,

but I won't be able to get a place this year because I'm living with my ex, broke up four days ago, but we have a house together. What the fuck do I do? Related. Emma. Oh, my God. Right.

My advice, everything is figureoutableable like yeah as much as you think you're stuck and there's no option and you're like trapped and you can't navigate a sticky situation there is always a way and it's going to be an easy way or it's going to happen overnight but like if you want to move to manchester yeah you might not be able to move to the same kind of like standard of house that you've been living in with your partner or ex partner because you know both of you would have been paying and there might be like more financial issues that you have to think about for you moving out but you can still move to manchester you can still like you know get a room to share with other people. And also it's gonna be really good for you because it's like a new chapter that's starting.

I feel like when you move from a certain environment, it really opens up new opportunities for you, new chapters, new you, figuring out yourself, and I think it'll be really good for you. So yeah yeah that's shit but they've got a house together so how do they so i'm assuming they bought a house together well um i don't know they've got a house together sounds like it's it's hard it's hard like you're either gonna have to decide which one of you is gonna take on the mortgage and one of you stays

there the other one moves out or you both sell the house and move on with your own separate lives but like it's hard because when you're going for a breakup and there's a lot of emotions involved and a lot of like feelings and hurt and upset to then talk about really important serious issues like council tax and bills and rent and mortgage and all of that like that's what i've been going through and it's just really hard to like put your emotions yeah yeah yeah and have chats about a bill that's come through and like who's gonna pay it and what's gonna happen you know like you can't fully cut the ties no you can and it's hard to move on when you're always having to have open dialogue so i i get how you feel but you just kind of have to like switch off your emotions and just know that

it's all gonna work out yeah it will work out it will be temporary but i do always think that you have to put yourself first like there is absolutely no point jeopardizing your happiness just for some convenience of keeping a house together do you know i mean like you'll probably regret doing that in your later life maybe for maybe i't know, maybe you're not compatible and you feel like you may have wasted those years of just staying in a house with your ex that just didn't work out well. Yeah.

I feel like you really need to put yourself first. Wait, what's that saying? I'm going to butcher this again. The easiest, no, no. The most important things are sometimes the most hardest things or something. Or like you gain, or like the most important things are sometimes the most hardest things or something or like you gain or like the most you you learn from the something like that you grow from adversity is that that kind of vibe really the vibe no yeah we can go with that one or like endings are also new beginning

yeah there's also that but it's also not what i'm thinking of but yeah that's also sorry i tried to help you out there but oh i'm really angry that i don't remember that sorry it's been a long day guys yeah it's been a long time right very long day um anyway right we're gonna have to wrap up guys i've enjoyed doing this so maybe we should do another yeah it's good every now and then you know because we got a lot of questions from you guys yeah we do keep them coming right do you have a quote mills this actually this was my first ever pinterest pin oh wow find something that makes you happy and use it to make others happy oh that's great yeah so what would that be for you like finding my love for fitness and nutrition and empowering other women i that makes me happy and i now use that to make other people happy yeah and that

just makes me great that's really good it's just happiness yeah happy rainbows everywhere um okay so my quote i actually really like this one okay don't take criticism from people you wouldn't take advice from oh i love that quote that's so true you wouldn't take advice from oh i love that that's so true you wouldn't take financial advice from someone in debt would you yeah so do not take advice from someone who you don't like look up to from that kind of position like literally don't take yeah i'm gonna keep that one yeah that's add that to my pinterest board you know i really like that one right well we better wrap right love you guys i hope you enjoyed this episode um and the next few episodes i think are going to be a little bit different because i am off to bali yes if you do enjoy the

um the episodes please you know share them around rate them yes we always forget to say this but like we really appreciate it so much when you guys tag us in your stories and share the podcast. It really helps. It really, honestly, the smallest thing goes so fast. Yeah, the reviews you leave, just telling a friend about it.

Spreads the word. It means the world to us and we thank every one of you who takes the time to do that. We love you. We love you so much. Anyway, have a lovely rest of your day and we'll see you next week goodbye