Real Girls Radio - EP 2: Bullying, Body Building and Binge Eating - Emma's Journey

Episode Date: March 21, 2022

grab some snacks and chillax whilst we chat ABOUT...a snippet of the single life, as well as...Emma's fitness journey from being bullied for being overweight, to binge eating and starving herself for a bikini competition. Listen to us open up about relatable topics, how to overcome binge eating, and blocking our dads on social media...DISCLAIMER: we speak about past experiences that could be triggering. For any help, please seek professional guidance.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/e-1-the-unheard-truth-of-millys-journey. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Love this podcast? Support this show through the Acast Supporter feature. It's up to you how much you give and there's no regular commitment. Just hit the link in the show description to support now. Hello, hello, hello! We're back with another episode! Episode number two. Episode number two already. Oh my god. Yes. Thanks for tuning in, everyone. We were actually so, like, surprised. Oh my god, overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with the response.

The response, oh my god, like, I just can't believe there's so many of you guys, like, so excited, well, as excited as we are as well, starting this podcast, so. Yeah. Thanks for tuning in. Thanks so much. So in today's episode, we are going well, starting this podcast. So thanks for tuning in. Thanks so much. So in today's episode, we are going to be talking about Emma's journey, everything she's gone through. But before we go into that, we're going to do a little agony aunt thing, like we addressed

in the last episode. Answer your questions. So yeah, we're going to answer your question, but we're going to alternate our flop and fly with the listener questions. Listener questions, yeah. So one week we're going to do our flop and fly. Yeah. Like our high and fly with the listener questions listener questions yeah so one week we're gonna do our flop and fly yeah like our high and low from the week and then the following week we're gonna answer one of your questions so today's question is how do you deal with a single life how do you deal with the single life well i mean millie i feel like you should answer this

first just because i myself am not currently single anymore. Emma has taken. I'm in a relationship. Oh my God, who's the lucky guy? So, Mills. Guys, I'm going to break it to you right now. I have been single my whole life, so the whole 24 years. And you know what?

Like, I think a lot of people think it's quite embarrassing to say that, but I really, like, obviously there's moments where you know I would love to be in a relationship and there's definitely moments where I do feel very like sad and down about it but I don't really know any difference so I'm like I've just embraced it fully and it's helped me get to where I am today and know who I am and like build myself your confidence my confidence is going to be another level I actually think it's so empowering to be single yeah I do I really do and I think it's like the perfect time to focus on yourself because you can't rely on other people's you know presence for happiness like I know that I am so comfortable

by myself on my in my own space and like once I find a man he can only benefit my life he doesn't need to like replace anything in my life like I'm already happy where I am now so I think like that's it you are embracing it and really focusing on you know self-love confidence and all that and I know it can be quite scary like being single especially if you go from being in a relationship see this is what I can't really relate to so which is what I fully can relate to because I have been very much the opposite of you and like my whole life been in relationships and a year and a half ago now I came out of a five-year relationship lived with my ex for three years and the thought of going to live by myself and be single and independent was so scary I feel like that is a reason why I stayed in that

relationship for so long but actually when we broke up and when I moved into my own place I just had such a weight lifted off my shoulders and I honestly was the happiest that I've been for so long the six months after that relationship and I was so honestly scared about going into that, I was so happy because I could just do what I want, not have to tell anyone where I was. Yeah, you were so independent. Yeah, I could just do whatever the hell I wanted. And I really just focused on myself, my own goals. I really got into manifestation and journaling, which really helped me, writing down my thoughts and writing down what I wanted to achieve independently.

Quick question. How did you actually move away from it because you were in there for five years like what was the last straw that actually made you think okay I need I need to go be single now I mean we both knew a long time because I think that's the thing a lot of people do know but people stay complacent because it's easy and it's comfortable like we live together and it was just so many commitments there wasn't there but it just got to the point where i was like this it's actually not worth giving up your life and your time for anything just mediocre you want the best definitely time you cannot waste your time you can't and fully i was so much happier single and obviously now i'm in a relationship super happy yeah again like I'm definitely you know in a great

place now but I don't think people need to fear being single because it is actually a time where you can build your life how you want it and really like make the best and don't rush things like I could easily rush get into a relationship because I'm 24 now I could think oh god like you know time is ticking but I don't want to oh please 24 I don't want to rush well ticking but i don't want to rush 24 i don't want to rush well it is i don't want to rush getting to a relationship and not being fully in it just for the sake of being in a relationship you know like i don't want to feel heartbreak i feel like maybe the first boyfriend i have is going to be the one i don't know oh that would be so lovely you know what i mean like i don't know so i you just can't everything never settle for anything in life than your value no no you're better off being by yourself than in a relationship

that you just don't enjoy yeah so i hope that answers your question basically do journaling self-love like you know like go on dating enjoy dating oh yeah know, dating around. Like, just being that buzz-ass bitch. Just do it. Like, it can be scary, but you learn a lot about yourself when you go on dates with other guys. You really do. You learn what you really want. And it doesn't even have to be, like, romantically. You can date and, you know, you might make a new friend.

Yeah. Yeah, I like that. So, yeah, there you go. Anyway, let's get into this episode. So, Emma. I'm nervous. I'm going to begin this episode with some little icebreakers like you did last time. Oh no.

We do love these, don't we? So, I want to ask you, what's your favourite word? Because I know you love your words, don't you? Do you know what? My favourite word is actually logolepsy. Wow. Which is the lover of words. Okay. I like it. Isn't there a word for that? I am a logolepsy. Isn't there a word for words that explain itself? Wow, that's going deep.

You're throwing me there. I'm not even going to, yeah, okay. Okay, next question. Sweets or chocolate? Chocolate, 100%. How do you know that? Introvert or extrovert? Introvert, actually, interestingly,

because I think a lot of people think if you're on social media, like Instagram and that, you're going to be super extroverted, but I am actually not very confident, and I'm actually a big introvert. I think it's very common, guys. And then last one, mornings or nights? I used to very much be a morning it needs to be a quick answer night so evenings okay good to know good to know right so okay let's get into your fitness

journey so would you like to explain to listeners you know where you even began like what phase in your life was like the first time when you really got into fitness? Okay, well, back when I was younger, I was actually similarly to you, a dancer. And I used to do ballet and contemporary and like even like street dance and break dance. Oh, okay, honey. Okay. Spinning on my head. I want to see that. No, no. And then I kind of like stopped dancing when I got into a relationship at a very early age.

I was like 13, 14. And then after that, I kind of like completely lost my love for like anything fitness related. And it actually got to the point where I would refuse to take part in PE. I was like, absolutely no chance. And I used to forge a note from my mum and give it to my teachers and in the end they just kind of understood that I was never going to take part so I quite literally did no fitness and was that just because of your relationship I mean I think when I stopped doing dancing I just kind of like gave up altogether and then I just I didn't want to do it and I this one I

started gaining weight and I just didn't really feel comfortable like getting into a puke it yeah um I just didn't want to take part so I pretty much did no exercise I was pretty sedentary as well because I'll get into this a bit more but I was actually homeschooled for the last year of my GCSEs because bullying got really bad and it actually it honestly got to the point where I really didn't even want to leave my house so I never knew this so I like barely moved let alone did workouts was this quite uh was this was that was this happening in a short space of time this is like a couple of years so yeah I didn't really do any fitness at all when I actually got into fitness

my whole kind of like weight loss journey sparked when I was on holiday and I was like pretty out of shape at the time and wearing a baggy t-shirt on holiday and I was just looking at other people who were like having a great time and not really caring about how they looked and that was all I could think about just like I really did not feel good just wanting to have confidence and i just wanted to get home like i was like i wanted to get me home and when i was on that holiday i was just like you know i don't want to live my life like this i want to feel good and actually be able to enjoy life without feeling so insecure about myself so when i got back i joined a gym and it was a tiny little box gym in a hospital. Wow, in a hospital.

Just in case, you know, broke a bone or something. Yeah, just in case. During your workout. I mean, I was completely new to it. So you thought that was the norm? Oh my gosh. I mean, I did have some incidents in my first week. I actually, the first time I ever picked up a barbell,

I dropped it on my phone, my brand new phone. Oh, don't. And, like, not only did my phone smash, it honestly, like, bent in half. Oh, my God. So when you started the gym, did you have any direction? Did you have any help from, like, any coach or anything? No, I literally would just get off the bus after sixth form

and walk on into my hospital gym. And I used to look at Pinterest oh wow okay back in the day Pinterest yeah and I would just find like a random like I feel like a lot of Pinterest workouts that I see now it's still very like spot reduce yeah it was do this ab workout to to banish certain areas yeah it was ludicrous. I used to follow that and then I'd just kind of like go on some cardio machine and I'm so sorry. It's my face.

Millie's giving me evilish right now. I'm going on silent. I thought I did. I'm so sorry. Anyway. I've got the depths there going on.

What was I saying? Where was I? So you went to the gym you started you had no direction yeah oh yeah so I basically was just doing my own thing and I didn't have a clue I was just going for it and then I started actually just loving the mental clarity and like the like I guess endorphin rush I was getting from doing exercise and that is what kept me going and then I started losing weight and feeling great about it it was honestly like the endorphin rush and the feeling I had after a workout and then I decided to join fitness first still there today as am I and yeah that is I guess the how I got into fitness and so when you initially started your weight loss was it kind of like a form of

kind of punishment where you were really like oh I need to do x amount to burn this amount of calories like was it because I feel like with very little knowledge in fitness I think it's very common to get into that mindset so was that how like where you were sitting then yeah I had a very extreme approach at the beginning because I didn't know no better I genuinely thought like you know cleaner foods only no chocolate no anything processed um so you completely cut it out yeah cut it out completely and I honestly got to the point where I would make myself eat foods that I absolutely hated because I read online that it was good for you. Like, for example, I used to force myself to eat cottage cheese, which, I mean, some people like it.

I do quite like cottage cheese. I do not. I don't like it. But I know, like, that's quite an obscure food. Right, so before bed, I would eat a whole tub of that because I thought that was going to help me build muscle overnight. And then in the morning, I'd wake up at the crack of dawn to um spike my metabolism I would eat a big bowl of spinach and egg whites wow for breakfast so this

was like obviously very extreme and you did was it a very very quick weight loss was it like because obviously it's now like you're going to the weight loss journey bit yeah was that kind of a yo-yo dieting phase or was that it wasn't really a yo-yo dieting phase because it was like really the first diet I'd ever done and I wasn't trying to follow any fad diet I was just trying to cut out all quote-unquote bad foods out and just go in on the exercise um and like looking back at what I was doing it was very unhealthy but I wasn't even aware at the time that was unhealthy I just thought that was what I needed to do I did lose a lot of weight and then when I did lose all of that weight I you know I just kind of had like a smaller version of myself and I wanted to actually change the shape of my body and that is when I

started to get into weightlifting okay and like with weightlifting because obviously that's a whole nother kind of universe of knowledge isn't it did you is this when you got a coach this this is actually when I got into my first relationship um with the guy that I was with for five years and he was actually a personal trainer so I mean we would go to the gym together. And this is when I started, like, kind of watching more YouTube videos and, like, teaching myself. And I did start to get a little bit more confident using the weights, I guess, largely because he was there too. So, yeah, that's when I started getting more into the weights.

And I guess my relationship with food slightly improved then because we'd go out for dinner together and stuff like that. Did you kind of start to see like food as fuel or was it more like a eggs, chicken, rice? Yeah, it was a very much like a bodybuilding type of. And were you enjoying it? Was it something that was enjoyable for you? At the beginning, yeah. I like I loved how I guess disciplined I I felt like I loved that but then being in control I guess yeah it gave me control and I guess like because for so long I was bullied and I felt completely out of control I liked having that sense of control over me and what I was doing and my behaviors and my actions but that's so interesting you know it got to a point naturally of course where it was

not sustainable and I started to run into like binge eating and restricting binge cycles and that absolutely consumed me worst time I had binge eating was when I went to uni in my first year of uni in London and like I was very restrictive here I would make up excuses to not go out with all my friends at uni I would not drink I'd sit in my room on my own so that I could get up and go to the gym first thing in the morning barely ate anything and I would go for like a week of not eating so bad like barely anything and then I would have a night and, okay, I've not really told anyone this before.

Really? Are you okay to share? I'm going to apologize to the flatmates that I lived with at uni. They're listening. One night I literally binged on their food. And I couldn't help myself. It was like an out of control body experience where my body was so hungry.

You were just searching for anything you could get your hands on. Yeah. And it was like, you just could not think rationally in that second. where my body was so hungry you were just searching for anything yeah and it was like you just could not think rationally in that second and then that would happen and the next day i would just feel oh my god i needed to restrict myself and starve and i was in such an unhealthy toxic relationship with food were you ever caught during a bit no never so it's very secretive it's very secretive yeah and I know now like as a coach so many females suffer with binge eating see I didn't realize I suffered with binge eating but

I did and I'd never really cast it as a binge I just thought I'm just eating loads of food because I'm trying to like find some sort of satisfaction but it was actually a binge like I was really I was literally grabbing any sort of food like i didn't care what it was it's almost like you don't care what the taste is like you just want to eat the food and it's like your body is like forcing your brain to do this and for your brain to shut down and not think about it and then you feel that guilt after don't you you feel like ashamed i do that god it's a lot more common than we think yeah unfortunately people are very ashamed and embarrassed to talk about it which i completely understand because i was like i don't want to tell anyone but i actually think like one of the

best things you can do is reach out to someone and talk to someone about it because until you acknowledge you have some sort of issue with binge eating or that it's affecting you it's hard to actually like realize that yourself yeah whatever it is like you don't really know i mean some people may not even know what binge eating is like some people may not know there's all different levels of it like for example having a night of overeating after drinking alcohol i think or is not a binge like having a night of eating more food than you normally would that's not a binge I would classify a binge as like out of control yeah you're adopting that fuck it mentality and just being like I don't care yeah all or nothing mentality and just eating eating eating that is what I would classify a binge as but yeah I suffer with binge eating quite a lot so how long did that last on and off like a year and a, like a year and a half, maybe.

A year and a half. Which it honestly consumed me. I felt so trapped, like there was no way out. I thought I was never going to recover from it. I thought you had to cut out all food that you actually loved, starve yourself, and then you would naturally fall into these traps of binge eating. And I just thought there was no way out of it i think like the whole fuck it mentality i remember learning this in psychology at uni and

it's like like cognitive dissonance or something and it's like cognitive dissonance dissonance yeah i remember there was a study sorry if i get this wrong but it was a group where they were restricting and then like a just a normal control group that like wasn't restricting they were just eating whatever they wanted and both of them had like this calorific milkshake beforehand and the one who was restricting had the milkshake and they and then they had access to like a buffet they just went in on the buffet because they thought well they've already just consumed like a really high calorie they might as well just milkshake yeah it was so crazy because i remember learning about that and thinking like this just makes so much sense like why am i resonating with this and i still didn't accept that i was binge eating it's such a typical human behavior to adopt that

all-or-nothing approach but i mean people use this analogy all the time but it literally is like getting a scratch on your phone and then just smashing oh my god the hell out of your phone or like your tire gets like a bit flat so you decide to absolutely like annihilate that tire nice yeah yeah so okay so that was all during uni yeah okay so then what kind of like stage in your weight were you were you really small were you confident at this point I dropped a lot of weight and then I at this point when I was at uni I was you know a lot lighter but not the lowest okay and I just started building a little bit of muscle so I didn't I didn't look I looked quite healthy okay yeah that's the thing with binge eating no one would have known yeah take me on to after this journey after this like phase in your life of of like getting out of the binge eating.

Like what sparked that? So I honestly overcame binge eating by using journaling and literally like writing down what I was doing, how I was feeling before, after a binge. I read the Brain Over Binge book. I haven't heard of that. Binge Over Binge. It's something like that. I'll link it in the notes for the podcast but it was such an eye-opening book and after that I really started to get into journaling and writing

down everything going on in my head and it made me realize sometimes that like what I was doing was so illogical and you just had to take a more rational approach and actually look at what was going on in your mind to realize it was so silly. So I did that. And I came to the realization that it was all down to such a severe and strict approach I was having with my nutrition and how I was cutting foods out. That's really good that you were so aware of that. Yeah. And I honestly encourage anyone who suffers with binge eating like I know journaling can feel like a weird thing to do but it really helped me get in tune with what I was doing wrong so finding those patterns I guess yeah yeah it massively helped me and then I realized that the

root cause of my binge eating was that restriction from foods so I slowly started to incorporate more of the foods that I was tending to binge on because normally it was like sweet food like chocolate or sweets or something that you were like craving I guess yeah yeah so I would slowly start to incorporate like a little bit of chocolate and you know occasionally going out for a pizza and were you still feeling guilty when you did at first yeah and it was really hard because I was so used to when I did eat those foods binging it's a habit isn't it it's very habitual yes it was weird to just have like you know a few squares of chocolate and leave it at that was it like as simple as okay I'll just leave it at three cuts of chocolate like it was hard did you have like real urge to eat more but like

I didn't because I would tell myself I can have that again tomorrow that's the thing that's what you need to like the trick there is like that food is always going to be there it's not going away you don't need to over consume it in one go and actually one thing that really helped me was realizing like the first bite of the food is gonna taste the same as the last bite yeah and it's gonna be a lot more enjoyable to eat until you feel satisfied or eat to like satisfy that craving and feel good rather than like eat like a crazy amount of food in a binging mentality and then feel bloated and like tummy ache and sick and feel guilty and horrible after. So reminding myself of that and then slowly over time, I just kind of like completely changed my mindset and realized like i do not get these urges to binge if i am eating these foods every day and that is what my like entire coaching and my whole philosophy now is with myself my clients like all foods fit you can eat it's not gonna ruin

any progress or anything like that and actually doing that incorporating chocolate and pizza and you know all of those like more fun foods that people think you can't eat on a diet incorporating that into my diet is actually what helped me make the most progress inside and outside it's so true there was no more extremes and that is the key yeah no more rules around that no extremes so i've got another question for you and i don't know if this is a hard one but would you say you have any long-term negative consequences from your fitness journey? I mean, I did lose my period.

I have regained it now. So I did suffer from HA for a couple of years. This goes on to when I went through my severe restriction mentality, which actually came after the binge eating. Wow, so do you want to go into that? Yeah, maybe I'll go into that. So I had a super healthy relationship with food and then I decided to do a bikini prep okay right yeah you know it was was there anything that triggered you to do that it was like it was

trending on Instagram and being completely transparent and honest I thought to make anything of myself on social media I had to kind of get that title and stand out and be a bikini prep model I don't think there's anything wrong with that at all if you want to do that like it's your choice but in my opinion I don't think it's healthy and I know it's not sustainable and I've realized that at the end of my prep. I remember you going through this and I remember seeing how small you had got. And I remember you saying that you didn't feel lean enough still. Yeah, body dysmorphia was so severe for me. I worked with a coach and he was taking me through a bikini prep.

So it did get very extreme. And I think people don't realize how hard you have to push it sometimes. Like I was on extremely low calories, a lot of cardio. And bearing in mind, this was just for fun, wasn't it? Like you weren't actually competing. Well, my plan was to compete. But I actually pulled out because I started fainting in the gym. Actually, I remember that happening my

my friends and family were like so worried about me my mum actually once said to me she was like you look like a dying baby bird oh my god I couldn't function I remember walking home from the gym after doing cardio and quite often having to sit on a bench and just sit there on the way home because I felt so dizzy it was awful but I'm very much a person I'm very like set on my goals and disciplined like when I tell myself I'm going to do something I'm like you'll try I will do it I will absolutely I think that's why we are very similar as well yeah and that's probably why we've gone through what we've gone through because we take it to the extreme yeah and it's not always good to to be like that is it so so I I basically I lost a lot of weight and I got to the smallest

I've ever been and I would remember looking in the mirror thinking I don't look lean enough and I felt almost like embarrassed that I wasn't lean enough because you've gone through all yeah you've done all you can and you still weren't satisfied. But the scary thing is now I look back at these pictures and videos of myself and like I put them on my Instagram. And it is like shocking how tiny I was. Like my bones sticking out. It's crazy how much body dysmorphia can blind you from what is real. Really, really does. I remember your pants or your thong, whatever you're wearing, it was hanging off you.

Gaping. Yeah, it was gaping out. I've never seen that. No. So were you proud at all? No, actually, in fact, right back at the beginning of my weight loss journey, I thought to be happy, you had to be skinny, like a lot of people think. thing but I can tell you now I was the skinniest I've ever been thinking that that was going to give me happiness and I was the most insecure I remember thinking how is it that I'm the skinniest I've ever been and right now I'm the most critical I've ever been of my body and all I used to do

was look in the mirror and look at my stomach and the first thing I did this is so toxic and sad but the first thing I did every morning was fill my stomach to feel how small it was I didn't even realize at the time how like what what I was doing but I look back now and I'm like god I had such a severe eating disorder and and you just didn't admit to it I just couldn't I didn't even know at the time I did not even realize I had an eating disorder until I look back. What I'm interested in is like, how did your coach not ever signal anything to you? I mean, I'd even told him that I'd lost my period, that I was feeling like this. But I think, you know, some coaches, you tell them your goal and they don't really consider the health implications or even the like the consequences,

the psychological consequences that you're going to go through. They just are doing what you ask them to. And I mean, I did say like take me for a bikini prep. So I guess he was just doing his job. Yeah, because you were sharing this online, weren't you? Did you get many comments from people? Were people concerned? I mean, it was quite a few years ago when like,

unfortunately, it was quite trendy to do this. So I think it was kind of like the norm. I did have a few years ago when like unfortunately it was quite trendy to do this so I think it was kind of like the norm I did have a lot of people saying like wow don't get any smaller like you're so small like you're so skinny like and I had you know people saying like oh you look gross now like you know you get some hate on Instagram and stuff but I just I was just laser focused on the end goal so sorry so when you were your heaviest and then your smallest because you basically want to kind of both extremes haven't you you've both got comments from people yeah I had I had all the comments from like at school whale yeah so did that ever click in your head like no matter what size you are there's always people that's going to be

commenting on you yeah it's it's really quite weird because it's so similar the parallels I was experiencing when I was my heaviest and my biggest to when I was my skinniest and smallest neither I was happy neither I felt confident both I was getting hate and people still commented on how I look and it made me realize healthy and happy is not a size and it's not a number and it's not looking a certain way and I can honestly say right now yeah I have like goals like I you know go through like little cutting phases and like building phases but right now my approach and how I look now like I'm the happiest healthiest I've been and that is accepting that extremes are not the answer and there is a life that needs to be lived alongside having fitness and the health goals yeah but yeah if we can give like one piece of

advice to someone like it is that you should never chase to be skinny or a certain size because i promise you you'll get there and you're still not going to be satisfied you're still not going to be satisfied you're still going to want to change something else and do this and do that to your body and yeah it's just unrealistic to keep chasing that ideal perfection were there any like insults that you got that made you proud of anything so like was there anyone that said anything to you then you were like well that makes me like you know push harder i mean i guess like right at the beginning like I look back and when I did used to get called a whale and stuff in school it doesn't faze me it doesn't upset me anymore because I guess I use that as like fuel to like really push what I'm doing

and you know I've completely transformed now I think in a way having that hate fueled me a little bit I know that's not good for like someone bullying you to make you want to change but I guess yeah it did a little bit for the wrong reasons but I mean I'm kind of glad it happened because it made me stronger maybe who you are today and look at what you're doing like I bet they guess like you said you had goals right you've got like goals so you're cutting yeah so when you go into that phase how do you approach it in a very balanced healthy way yeah I mean I guess my whole approach now is so different because in the past I would do a fat loss phase and be like okay I want to get skinny I want to lose all this weight blah blah blah

whereas now it's kind of like I think I mentioned this in the last podcast but it's kind of like I've built a bit of muscle I just want to strip back a little bit of fat and reveal it and it's more like just seeing what I built rather than like trying to chase a certain number or a certain look it's just like making little improvements every year because that's what we do in the gym like obviously go to the gym because i enjoy it and i honestly think now i would still go to the gym even if it didn't really change your body because i love it so much but obviously weightlifting does build and shape your body so it is something i want to do sometimes to strip back and see the muscle I built yeah um so I'm doing that because I booked a holiday oh

fun where you going okay well my boyfriend booked it we're going to the Maldives oh my god stop it I know oh my god actually you told me that's not um it was like kind of like for my birthday present so question because I think maybe the listeners who are here listening um they may think okay so I thought it was like not healthy to drop drop body weight or like lose weight for a holiday like no carbs for mops kind of thing how would you respond to that so in my opinion I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to change your body or you know having physique goals if you're doing it in a healthy sustainable and balanced way and as long as you're being confident throughout the whole process yeah you love yourself i love my body at all stages yeah but i also thrive i'm

the sort of person who loves having goals and i like seeing my body change sometimes whether it's like building a bit of muscle or losing a bit of body fat, just having goals to work towards. I love it. And it's not in a way where I'm trying to get like social approval or validation. It's just for myself to have a little goal to work towards. I think with the whole fitness industry,

it's made people think you have to have an all or nothing approach to everything. So you have to have a no excuses mentality. Like if you want to drop weight, you have to do it in the extreme way. When you literally can make it so sustainable and enjoyable you still go out for food all the time don't you still you don't have food rules like I just ate a cream egg yeah that's the thing like that's what I was saying like I'm not going to do anything extreme

and my whole approach now is so balanced and modified like I will like you say still go out for food and enjoy going out for dinner and eating nice food every single day like I'm not going to do anything extreme whereas previously I would absolutely go all or nothing approach cut out all foods but yeah I hopefully like fruit and scrum I can show like how I am fully going to be still embracing the out all foods but yeah I hopefully like through Instagram I can show like how I am fully going to be still embracing the whole all foods fit and eating all foods yeah not doing anything unsustainable yeah do you think that people on Instagram misunderstand you because you're a coach and you do like you you document bulking you document cutting do you

think people misunderstand you in terms of like you know what your perception of like I don't know yeah potentially because obviously as a coach I'm like I'm a lifestyle coach like I help people get into shape in a healthy sustainable way there's no short-term fixes it's a lifestyle isn't it like I'm not gonna promise you you're gonna be your goal weight in a couple of weeks like it's not going to happen but what we try to do is instill the habits and the lifestyle changes so that you can actually sustain a body that you feel confident in without having to kill yourself and I love that like you had the little journal things as well when I was with you like it was really lovely to have journaling and like you know a coach that actually cared about your mental health yeah because I never had that and I think that's why you know my experiences for coaches in the past

is what like really made me want to do something different and look at it more holistically and you know incorporate more mindset things but yeah I mean I guess some people might misunderstand they might be thinking if you're about food freedom or all foods fit then why are you doing a fat loss phase blah blah blah but like I say like all foods fit and I still fully adopt and embrace that approach whether my goal is building muscle or fat loss but like I said I just like to have goals and yeah I thrive I definitely think that's a problem at all so I think I've got one more question if you could change one moment in your life what would you change oh that's a good one within your you know whether it's a fitness journey or I would probably say I mean I guess one thing I would

change is more for other people I wouldn't have documented my whole cutting process on Instagram when I did go through it with my coach that time I'm actually sorry for posting all of those things on my Instagram because I look back now and like I wasn't even aware that it was so toxic and I think I can relate to that as well like when I was posting about yeah all this weight loss stuff and little hacks you just don't realize like all the diet hacks and obviously like I will still help my clients who are on a fat loss journey with fat loss tips and tricks and stuff like that but it's healthy I look back and what I was doing was not healthy and tricks and stuff like that but it's healthy i look back and what i was doing was not healthy and i shouldn't have been documenting it on instagram

like i was but i wasn't aware that it was unhealthy because you know i had a coach at that time and i was exactly you trusted him didn't you yeah and it was trending it was like everyone was doing a bikini prep and everyone was cutting their calories and following like a bro building trends are just so like they just come and go all the time they don't last no so that's why you're constantly searching for satisfaction because you don't find it because the trends are constantly changing do you know what i mean 100 one year it's trendy to have skinny legs next it's trendy to have like a big bum like constantly going to be chasing a never-ending trend so you're never going to feel like you fit that yeah exactly

exactly that but yeah I mean I would probably change that but equally I don't regret going through that because I learned so much and I think it makes me a much more relatable coach and your your struggles kind of like help you help other people definitely help you grow they get you stronger and I relate to this as well like all the struggles that i've been through i wouldn't know what i know today if i hadn't gone through that yeah and obviously i wish i hadn't gone through that but you can't you know wish away yeah things that you've gone through in the past because it's the past now you've done it there's no there's no point having regrets and there's no point having regrets because what you can do and i can now like help other people not do that exactly yeah like all the listeners here like

we've both come from such different we've both come from polar opposites haven't we on this journey you've initially lost weight I've gained weight and we're both now in this center point where we found balance and happiness and confidence because I guess we've learned from our mistakes yeah and that just goes to show like having a fitness journey is a journey it's not short term that's the thing like it's never gonna be a linear a to b for anyone everyone's gonna have their own journey so if you're going through a low right now like just know that you're gonna come out the other side and you're there's gonna be a lesson from that and you're gonna take that with you into the next part of your fitness journey there's never gonna be like an easy ladder to get to your fitness goals it's all it's so cliche isn't it but it's a journey it's a journey it's a

lifestyle baby it's not a what's the what's the phrase it's not a something it's a lifestyle it's not a diet it's a lifestyle is that it i don't know there's a hashtag. Should we say our quotes? Yeah, you go first. So, my quote is, the moment you feel like quitting is the moment right before succeeding. The moment you feel like quitting is the moment right before you succeed. Yeah. Let that, like, kick in right now.

Yeah, right before a miracle happens. Do you know, that always happens to me. It's so true. So true. Like, the moment you feel like quitting is the moment right before you succeed. Like, that just explains everything. It does.

So basically, never give up. Because the moment you do, you've just missed that. You've just missed the miracle. Yeah, you've just missed it. Never give up. So whenever you are feeling like you are ready to give up, just think about that quote in your head. And baby, you know, you got that milestone right there.

It's just at your fingertips. Yeah. it okay my quote people are going to talk about you no matter what you do so you might as well do whatever brings you joy and live your best life preach it sister no seriously that's so true as well why care what people think about you honestly i do not anymore i really don't apart from the moment today when I was in the gym and I got changed in this little changing room and I accidentally

left the door open and I fully stripped my butt was out on show with my thong and it was an OVPR like nude thong so it looked like

I was wearing nothing yeah there was a girl right behind like right at my eye view and I was like oh my god she probably thinks

like what the hell is she doing that was the one moment where I did think oh god I wonder what she thinks what the hell is she doing that was the one moment where I did think oh god I wonder what she thinks but other than that she probably thought

wow I want her booty oh god no not that sweaty bum just after a workout no thank you don't want you to be seeing that that's for my future

boyfriend I'm keeping that eventually when you get oh no I'm joking I do share I do put my bum on Instagram a bit too much don't I I do think I'm like oh my god like my dad follows me same my dad comments on my pictures like yeah I love it I think he's probably gonna be listening to this podcast dad I'm sorry I'm gonna have to

block you sure speaking of dads and Instagram my dad actually attacks any hate that i get oh nice yeah like if i get like a horrible message which i'm quite lucky i don't really get much hate but he'll like go in on them wow it's like he's a bodyguard yeah security guard don't mess with emma anyone out there uh oh my god i am what was this tiktok oh my god i need to show you this tiktok it was like it was actually so true it was something about i think you're fat it's just my opinion i'm not bullying you i'm just giving you a I think you're ugly I think you're fat I think you're stupid and that's um you know like random people in your comment section yeah I think you're fat I just think you're fat it's not I mean it's just my opinion I think you're fat like why even I got so many of

those comments when I was posting my progress pictures did you yeah so many did you actually people would always be like why do people have the audacity

to give their opinion on someone else's body it's when posts go viral and it goes out into like the world and then there's like those random keyboard worries they're just like

I think you're fat what are they getting from that like it honestly baffles me how people have the audacity to do that why does it bother you but this is probably why i think sorry guys this podcast is very going on but this is why i think people care so much what people think because there's those people out there who just say these ludicrous comments that actually have no meaning behind them there's no value there's nothing factual about that opinion

of yours because that is your opinion and what made me realize when i got these comments it didn't affect me because i was so confident in what i was doing and so happy and where i was at that any opinion had no like yeah i could not give yeah and to relate it back to my whole like journey people were calling me fat whale and skinny rat you know you're gonna get hate and i know do i look like an animal you're gonna get comments and hate from people no matter what you look like so you have to ignore them because you're gonna look like something for the rest of your life until you're here i think yeah you can definitely take that away with you from this podcast because i think that's a very important thing to know.

Yeah, just don't care what other people think. Yeah. And it's obviously a lot easier said than done, but you've got to just remember what we've said. Right. Shall we wrap up? Let's wrap it up. Let's wrap it up.

Well, thanks guys for listening. Also, I want to say, if you did like this podcast, I mean, even if you didn't, but you know, please leave a review because they really help, you know, boost the podcast, you know, get it out in the world. So on Apple and Spotify, just leave a review. I don't know, can you like the podcast?

I do. If you can like the podcast, maybe like add it to your playlist, download, share, do whatever you want with it, but yeah, we really appreciate it.

And thank you so, so much for listening. And we will see you in the next episode. Bye. Bye. Kisses. Mwah. But baby, I'll never much for listening and we will see you in the next episode bye