Real Girls Radio - EP 20: Bestie chats : binge eating, embracing single life and being your biggest fan

Episode Date: November 2, 2022

THIRTY FLIRTY AND THRIVING VIBES in this podcast! Jasmine is an Online Health & Fitness Coach for Empower Online Coaching and also one of Emma's best friends So grab your snacks and chillax whilst we chat about:binge eatinghow to overcome binge eatingnutrition mistakes we used to makebreak ups + bad datesembracing single lifedating yourselfself love& answering questions you asked us!This is a fun and light-hearted ep; we hope you love it!!connect with Jasmine: https://www.instagram.com/jotter_/connect with Emma: https://www.instagram.com/emmafituk_/?hl=enconnect with Milly: https://www.instagram.com/millyg_fit/?hl=enThank you so much to each and every one of you who listens and supports our show. We are eternally grateful to all of you who share us on your instagram stories, rate/ review the podcast and share with your friendslots of love x x xSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/e-1-the-unheard-truth-of-millys-journey. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Love this podcast? Support this show through the Acast Supporter feature. It's up to you how much you give and there's no regular commitment. Just hit the link in the show description to support now. Hello and welcome to Bro Girls Radio. I'm Millie and I'm Emma and we are both very normal bro girls just like you here to talk about all things health, fitness and navigating your way through this crazy life. We're your new besties. We want you to feel part of our weekly chats and we're excited to invite you in to our exclusive girl gang. Grab some snacks and chillax whilst we chat. Woo! Yeah. Okay, I think we got it. I think we got it.

So, welcome to the podcast, Jasmine. This feels very weird to have you on, but also great. I love it. So, for everyone who doesn't know Jasmine is one of my best friends. She is also a team leader coach and online health and fitness coach for Empower. Yeah. So we spend a lot of time together. I know but it's been a week since I've seen you so we've got a lot to catch up on. Yeah we do we do. But thanks so much for coming on the podcast would you be able to start by giving the listeners just a little introduction to you who you are a bit about your journey okay what you're doing now

so i met you from being an empowered client right yes and then since the day we met we just yeah clicked literally because we used to see each other we've actually had I've had a lot of questions people saying how did you guys meet how did you become best friends but we actually knew each other for a really long time I used to be like a real creepy um like stalker on your Instagram and I used to screenshot everything you used to eat and then I used to go to the shop and be like um so my boyfriend at the time like oh I'm gonna eat everything I'm doing today and then hopefully I'm gonna look like her and then I'd see you in the gym and say hi and be like hi and now we're friends you were so shy I still have the screenshots on my phone of your story do you actually yeah I've shown you it before I remember

your ex once came up to me in the gym when we didn't know each other. And he was like, Jasmine really wants you to show her how to hip thrust. And you never showed me. Until I became a client. Because I feel like that would have been really rude for me to just come on over to you when you're training and be like, hey, let me show you how to hip thrust. And now we're friends. Yeah. Yeah. And then I was so inspired being a client that I decided to pursue a whole different career.

Yeah. I was I used to do your nails. Yeah. I used to be a beauty therapist. That's also how we met, I guess. I came to Jasmine to do my nails. So you've really gone through a big, not just the weight loss, fitness transformation journey, but also you've completely changed your career I know so tell people a bit about what you see versus what you do now so I used to be a beauty therapist mainly massage and lashes and nails because I did your nails and then I just did a complete 180 and now I moved to London yeah and I'm a fitness coach it's completely different yeah I was doing eight years ago because I remember when we started becoming friends you weren't like you weren't

passionate about what you know I literally hated my job at the time yeah remember I was like oh yeah but now extremely passionate and I love it oh I love every day of my life I actually do oh okay before we get into more details about like your I guess your health and fitness journey and like how that's been for you shall we do the OG flop and fly okay so my flop which you kind of know of is last night second leak in my house oh yeah I can't explain to you the fear so what happened was my my housemate was having a shower upstairs and then the shower leaked through the fire alarm and then it basically the fire alarm went off and then the water was hitting the floor but to me it sounded like fire alarm and the water hitting the a'r dŵr yn cwmio'r llawr. Ond i mi, roedd yn sôn fel alwad ffire, ac roedd y dŵr yn cwmio'r llawr yn sôn fel

ffire sy'n craclu. Ac rwy'n onest, dwi'n meddwl bod ffire arall fy mhorw. Felly rwy'n gweithredwyr ffire. A wnaethoch chi wybod hynny? A wnaethoch chi wybod hynny? Iawn. Dwi'n gweithredwyr ffire. Oeddech chi'n gweithredwyr? Oeddech chi'n gweithredwyr ffire? Oeddaf yn ffermwr. Felly, ac rwy'n gwneud hynny hefyd yn fy swydd blynyddoedd. Felly Oeddwn i'n gweithio yn ffermwr. Felly, beth amser, ac fe wnes i hefyd yn fy swydd bryd.

Felly roeddwn i'n testio'r drws i weld a oedd y fferm yn sylweddol. Ydych chi'n gwybod y dylethaf fod yn rhaid i chi wneud hyn? Yn y bôn, os mae drws yma, mae'n rhaid i chi ddod i'w teimlo lle mae'n hwt. Ac os mae'r fferm yn hwt yn uchaf, mae'n fferm mawr iawn ac nid ydych chi'n gweithio ar y drws. Ond os yw'n y dda yma, efallai y byddwch yn iawn. Felly roeddech chi'n llythyr yn eich tŷ fel... Ie, roeddwn i'n teimlo'r drws yn debygol, yn dweud, oedd y fferm yma. Ond mae'n iawn.

Felly, mae'n ffwrdd. But if it's down here, you might be okay. So you were literally in your house? Yeah, I was literally feeling the door going, oh my God, it's a fire. But it's fine. So it's just a leak? I came out and it was just water, thank God, because my whole body was shaking because I thought it was a fire. And then... Have you ever been in a real life fire before?

No. No? Tell me when. When I was younger, I remember me me and my mom my sister lived together and i was like joking around because the smoke alarm was going off and i was like ha ha the house is on fire but it was and then i went downstairs and the house was how big was the fire it was it was taking up half of the kitchen wow i was so scared and I remember shaking trying to get over get the door open and then I was trying to open the door with the key and the key slipped out of my hand and it fell and I was like but it was fine the fire

engine came and it was well anyway so that happened to me and then my only thought process was I have a packed suitcase for Paris. No, seriously. So I was like, okay, so there's a fire. Let's just feel how severe the fire is. Get the suitcase out of my window so I can still go to Paris in two days. And then that leads on to my fly because I'm going to Paris in two days. Yeah.

Yeah. Are you excited? I'm very. It's our first holiday together. I know. I know. Yeah, I haven't been on holiday since um since the whole covid thing so three years oh my god you've not have you no i went to berlin like once when i was when i first met you remember oh yeah so like i guess two and you blocked me

from your stories yes because i was a client and i wasn't on plan. And she thought I wouldn't be okay with it. Yeah. Obviously I would, but. I did, I blocked her all my stories. Yeah, so this is my first trip since then and I'm very excited. I'm so excited for Paris. For people who don't know, me and Jasmine are going to Paris together. Yes.

And we're going to Disneyland. And I bought Minnie Mouses and a beret. Yeah. Except I tried on the beret and I just don't think I've got a good head shape for it. No, it really suits some people but I just don't think it's for us. Have you tried one on? I don't think we're happy. Maybe we should try. Just for a picture.

Well, I've got one, so. It was a whole £7. Wow. Okay, what is my flop and fly? I haven't seen you all week so I don't even know what you're gonna say okay I'll start with my I can I kind of have two flops my flop that happened today oh my god right what is my worst thing in the world that I hate more than

anything I've all carrying heavy bags. Because I'm always the, you always give them to me. So is that what? Yeah, it is. Yeah, right. So I got to London and I had to sit and do some work for a bit. And then like I hadn't done any steps. I knew we were going to be recording, like I was going to be recording all day. So I was like, I should probably walk to the podcast studio. And I had like a coat on and a jumper because it was so cold this morning

and i started walking and i have heavy bags and it was hot and then i got lost and i was carrying like such heavy bags and i was getting all hot and bothered and i just wanted to break down and i got here and i was just not in it were you walking really fast to get over with oh that's the worst and it was like a good 45-minute walk. Yeah. We need to get some steps in later. Mm. Yeah.

What's your fly? Okay, my fly is that I am literally so proud of myself because for the last, you don't even know what I'm going to say. No, I don't. I'm so happy for you that you're proud of yourself. What? Why? Okay.

Oh, my God. So, you know, like, back in the summer, I was really struggling with my weight training, and I was really weak. Yeah. And I was hating. I just wasn't enjoying my workouts. That's because we don't train together anymore.

Yeah. That is. We're the best workout buddies. Yeah, no, we do have a good workout together but no i was just not strong and i was i would feel really deflated going into my workouts because i knew like i wouldn't be able to lift heavy and i wouldn't be able to do the sort of workouts i used to do but i have been super consistent on my program for like a good eight to ten weeks now and I've added 25 kilos to my deadlift 30 kilos to my hip thrust oh wow and I'm back to um chest pressing 15s

wow because we're very competitive yeah this is why we're such good training partners yeah so me and Jasmine used to train together every single day. Every day for a whole year. For a whole year and every day without fail. It was almost like too much. We got so strong. Oh my God, we were so strong.

I remember we were like dead lifting 100 kilos. That was the best training of my life. Yeah. It's because we were in like a private gym and we were just wearing like baggy jumpers. And like making noises every time we were like grunting yn gym bryd-dynol, ac roedden ni'n gwneud... Ymgyrchion ymgyrchion. Ymgyrchion ymgyrchion. I'n gwneud slyniadau bob amser, roedden ni'n grwntio yn y gym. Nid oedd yn dda. Ond roedd ymgyrchu'n...

Ie, ie. Ac fe wnaethoch chi ddod i fyny'n ymddangos fel Mr. Trunchbull bob dydd. Oherwydd byddwch chi'n gwneud ymgyrchion ymgyrchion mawr, o ran ymgyrchion. Dwi ddim yn gallu gwneud ymgyrchion ymgyrchion. Ac y gwylfa sgwap. Ie, ac y gwylfa sgwap. Amser da.

Iawn. Felly, a dyna fy fly? Ie, dyna fy fly. Ie, dywedwch chi fod gennych ddau flops, wrth gwrs. and the squat belt yeah and the squat belt good times good times um so is that my fly yeah that's my fly yeah you said you had two flops though what's my other flop the nails um no my nails are a fly no but you know they're a fly yeah but like the nail appointment cancelled oh rush to get a different one it's all a bit frantic yeah okay so here's another flopping fly i had to rush to get a different one. It was all a bit frantic. Yeah, okay. So here's another flop and fly. I had to schedule in my nail appointment, and then it got cancelled, and it was a very last minute squeezing in the nails situation. And these are important nails because they're holiday nails.

Nobody wants that on a holiday nail appointment ever. No, and two of my nails are broken as well. But I managed to find someone last minute to do my nails and they look great. Very Parisian. Very Parisian. Red tip. And just glittery.

And yeah, that's your flop. I did have another flop, but I mean, it's quite negative, isn't it? Yeah, keep going. What's the negative? Get out. Get out. You'll feel better.

I had such a bad day the other day. Why? I honestly cried for a good hour. I don't know this. Why? Oh my God. Why am I coughing so much? I'm so sorry, guys.

Ew. You keep hearing a cough in your ear. I hope I'm not getting ill before Paris. No, don't. Because I just got over my illness. If I get something that you're going to give me, I'll be very annoyed. Okay. So I feel like a lot of the time people message me like oh how do you manage to get everything done in a day and like

how are you so productive and how are you so time efficient etc but like I the other day I literally didn't get done anything that I wanted to do all of my meetings were overrunning what day was this this was for uh Thursday last week I also had a therapy session which I cried a lot in oh this day but then it was a positive day because you enjoyed the session yeah it was just a bit overwhelming the whole thing the whole day was overwhelming lots of meetings overrunning and I didn't I didn't get anything done that I wanted to do and I just got home and cried I felt like I was just just a bad day yeah well hopefully this week is better for you yeah no I'm feeling good today good good vibes good vibes all around um okay well for today's episode we have asked you guys on instagram stories to

send in some questions but before we do that um could you talk a little bit about your fitness journey your weight loss journey because your transformation is incredible my fitness journey so so when you were younger did you used to be into fitness no no I used to be like mine it's actually my nutrition I mainly um have hugely improved I I didn't really eat any vegetables as a kid no wait no what was what was some of the foods that you used to eat i remember you've told once you admit it do it you want it's real guys radio okay being real so i used to eat for breakfast no this is so bad i don't do it anymore ever um micro pizzas do you remember these i used to love them i couldn't get enough i used to have them for breakfast before school and then some weird things like i used to just drink um squash neat without water

right and then i also used to this is even weirder i don't know what why i used to like foods like this i used to like eating apples but dipped in tomato ketchup. What? So I used to like use it as a sauce. That's so gross. I know. And multiple amount of crisps. But I'm very much opposite now because I'm very much a chocolate person and a savoury. I was very savoury when I was younger. And then like for dinner I would have just a plate of Aunt Bessie's Yorkshire puddings.

But like no meat. Wait, vegetable. Hang on. So pizza for breakfast apple and ketchup five packets of crisps five packets of crisps no seriously and then squash meat just squash out the bottle and then like Yorkshire packet of Yorkshire puddings no meat no vegetable a bit more tomato ketchup I loved it that's gross isn't it wow okay yeah so you really have done quite the transformation with your nutrition I never knew it was like that no no I know are you judging me

no okay yeah I mean it was crazy so um what was the question again I knew I was gonna do that talking about like how you've gone from Mrs. Dipping Apples in Ketchup to where you are now. Yeah, no. So now, so in the past I had a bit of a binge in my teens. A bit of a binge. Not a diagnosed eating disorder, but I definitely have a present binge eating problem.

And I still have my moments, which I told you about the other day. Particularly with Biscoff Spread. problem. A dwi'n dal i gael fy mwymentau, a dwi wedi'u ddweud wrthych chi amdano, yn enwedig gyda ffwrdd biscoff. Felly, rwy'n ceisio eu cynnal i fy mhraff, fel y byddaf yn dal i gael iddyn nhw i mewn ac nid yn ei gyflawni'n gyflawni oherwydd rwy'n ei ffodd. —Dwi'n debyg ei fod yn y biscoff. —Dwi'n debyg ei fod yn y biscoff. Dwi ddim yn gallu cael... Dwi'n hoffi cael fy nghymorth. Felly, os yw'n eich tŷ, er enghraifft, byddaf yn clocio bod y ffordd y mae yna ac yn ymwybodol o'r ffordd. Byddaf yn dweud... Rwy'n gwybod nad ydych chi'n gallu bwyta'r holl tŷ oherwydd mae'n fynd.

Felly rwy'n hoffi cael sbwyn a chael rhywbeth gyhoeddus. Felly nawr rwyf wedi'i trafod i mewn i bwyd penodol oherwydd dwi wedi gweld yn benodol ddwy wythnos yn gynharach so now I've actually just traded it in for um peanut butter because um actually two weeks ago in particular there was an incident where I ate the whole jar in two days a bisque of spray yeah okay so let's talk about this because I know it's something you used to struggle with a lot like it used to be like like multiple times a week and it wasn't just a jar of biscuit i know i used to my my go-to daily thing daily so before i did empower actually so um how long ago was i a client like two years ago

yeah over two probably two and a half years yeah um like every day i would eat a bar of lint dark and white together so two whole bars of lint chocolate 200 gram bars every day without fail but now I can um eat it in moderation that's the word in moderation yeah yeah and like I've spoken before on the podcast about like my experience with binge eating and I think it's important to talk about because so yeah so many girls struggle with it and so many so many girls think they're alone with binge eating disorder and they think it's embarrassing or like shameful to talk about but yeah and the guilt the next day is is intense but it's actually extremely normal um and it can often like then spiral into that common

restrict and binge mentality where like following a binge you just you feel so guilty and shameful that you want to restrict all your calories and you know do the opposite thing you can do and starve yourself but that it literally just exacerbates the urge to binge again because you're starving your body you're restricting and then you're just going to be more prone to reaching that jar of biscoff again yeah so if i wasn't a client and also didn't do it for a job i would have usually restricted myself the next day and then it would just kept happening and happening but now i'm just like it's fine it's fine it's fine back to normal. Maybe don't buy Biscoff this week to get over what you just did. And then introduce it back in two weeks time.

Yeah. Yeah. So I, when I struggle with binge eating, it was very much like an emotional thing as well as like a hunger thing. Like I think there are two types of people when it comes to binge eating there's the people who will be binge eating purely because their body is so starving and they are restricting so hardcore but then there's also the emotional binge eaters who may not be necessarily like starving themselves and under eating but they're going through a really stressful time and under a lot of stress

and pressure and then they'll use kind of food as a comfort and a coping mechanism I remember at uni when like my binge eating was the worst story yeah I always remember it yeah I I I was going through both like I was really under eating I wasn't fueling my body properly and I was also really stressed because my first year of uni I actually had no friends I went to London I don't even know if I told you this I went to London I had no friends I didn't want to go out and party or yeah anything like that because I was like obsessed with just like low calories and sticking to my plan um and I would just be so stressed and just sit in my room on my own I remember one time it got so bad I was so hungry I went into the communal kitchen and I just like binge ate everyone's food it was like an uncontrollable I had this once with flatmates I had a really good housemate that was a good cook

it was like an uncontrollable out of body experience late at night like where i i actually didn't know it was like someone took over my body and did that but your body was probably just screaming for food yeah were you restricting yeah quite severely and then like i i it was that night that i think triggered me into this cycle of constant restricting and binging because you know the next day you would feel so guilty to restrict yourself it would happen again and again it got to a point where I was probably having like a binge episode once a week um yeah I was like that once a week maybe twice a week and I wouldn't tell anyone I felt so embarrassed about it I

thought I was alone I thought I actually thought it was something I would never be able to break free from yeah I felt like food controlled me and that it was life-consuming like I actually thinking about food every day yeah it was all I thought about from the moment I woke up um and I remember about a year after going through this yeah every week I was like I have to change something and sure I because in my head I thought if I eat chocolate or sugary food or sweets or something that would trigger me to binge eat and overeat it so I would avoid it at all costs yeah isn't that um orthorexia yeah like avoiding anything yeah class is you know processed or unhealthy I just would I wouldn't touch a cookie or chocolate or anything like that um but they were the foods I'd go to binge on so I just the my best piece of advice for overcoming this like restrictive eating behavior especially if you are binging it's just

to start allowing yourself to eat these foods in moderation and stop restricting like I would start really really small by just letting myself have like a little bit of chocolate go out for a meal and actually get something I want to order um I found at the time like having a little bit of like a structure meal plan kind of guide for my food helped me to actually make sure I was fitting these foods into my diet but then over time I've realized like you don't have to overeat it and the food still tastes just as good at the beginning as it does penny drops yeah like the first bite of that food tastes just as good as when you've like overeaten and binge ate to the point where you feel so uncomfortable and sick it's not it's not just overeating like binge eating is

when you push yourself to a point where it's not enjoyable, it's uncomfortable, you feel sick, like nobody wants to feel like that. So you- It also makes you feel, when you obviously binge eat like what we did, it makes you feel really like holding onto like excess water the next day. Water retention. And then it makes you think in your head that you look different than you actually do

and it's just a cycle. Yeah. A vicious cycle. Yeah and it's just a cycle yeah cycle yeah it's a vicious cycle so yeah you need you really do need to start allowing yourself to eat these foods in moderation every single day so that you don't feel the urge to go crazy when you do have like a little bite of something no it was life-changing for me seriously doing that same because I used to really restrict carbs actually and then when i came on to empower and was a client i was like wow yeah i remember you being so short and then i couldn't believe the difference i didn't even lose weight at this point

but the visual difference in my body when i had introduced carbs back you could see I was less bloated yeah and I was like that doesn't make sense in my head because we're like drilled into us from a young age that carbs are bad yeah so when the carbs came back into my diet I was like wow and then from that day I was just fascinated with nutrition because I was like I've just been doing it wrong this whole time and that's like then I guess when you started like thinking about changing your career and now we work together did you find that scary though going from like spending your whole life like working in the beauty industry um no actually it just felt completely natural I'm a very go with the with the flow person and if it feels right I was like this is just what I want to do.

And I was very passionate about it because I was a very, I feel like as a client, I really was quite passionate during it and was giving it my all. So I was like, I can't wait to be able to offer that to somebody else because it was just, it is life changing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, I love that. Okay. Well, I mean, that's a little bit about your health and fitness journey. Your transformation is just incredible. So from some of the questions that you guys have asked on Instagram. Well, I don't know any of these. A lot of these are based around um breakups and are they being single okay ask me ones that you know i'll answer so i mean generally because i know like how long have you been single

for now um i think it's like two years right two years yeah i'm not very good with time like a timeline in my head two years and could you tell the listeners a bit about your previous relationship and your breakup because it was quite it was quite well yeah so I mean I was in even know how to talk about this subject that ended in a in a not not the best way um but I have moved transfer I'm literally a different person right um as a friend you can tell because that's how we kind of bonded because you were going for a breakup I was going for a breakup um and then I just feel like I changed my career during that time I've moved to London um and heartbreak literally makes you I think I think it gives you experience in life so so yeah okay and one question I've got here is, how do you deal with being single, being over 30?

This is a subject I'm extremely passionate about, right? So I deal with this well because I refuse to let a societal timeline put pressure on me so i just think so many people in the world put way too much pressure on themselves um and i just who came up with the society timeline right it's so stupid so like we're here for what a hundred years on this earth well not everyone well you know that's like you know if we're gonna not everyone but let's just you know pretend so why at 30 is the point that you should have achieved x y and z and if you haven't you're deemed a failure um so yeah i'm pretty um passionate about that if someone ever tries to tell oh, do you feel awkward that you're single at this age?

I'll shut them right down. Yeah. And what has, like, helped you get to that point? Because it's not always been that easy. Like, what has helped you get to the point of being, like, confident and strong in yourself being single? So I would say there was definitely a phase where I was really sad, just broken up out of a long-term relationship. But I would say friends, self-love is extremely important. We are self-love preachers. We really are.

Self-love is extremely important. And just making sure you're in a job that you love, like doing something you love every day is life-changing isn't it oh i'm so glad you think that um if you're doing something you don't like every day that's just miserable yeah yeah and then you're living a routine life and it's just not fun so you're not like putting all of your eggs in one basket like you're not like letting your life happiness depend on just whether you're in a relationship or not you've got lots of other things going on to bring you like positive and happiness positivity and happiness exactly and um yeah i would say like before when i was in like quite codependent in a relationship, I would never have even moved away like I have now.

So I feel like I've come a long way. Oh, you're a lot more independent. I'm so much more independent. And even to the point where I can travel with friends. I know you're a bit scared to travel with me because I'm not really hugely responsible. But I am, I am, right? I managed to book a restaurant for us. you oh yeah yeah you booked a restaurant well done the first night um and I got here in

one piece did I not yeah you do you do surprise me I know did I surprise you today yeah I was here like in real good time as well um so yeah I feel like I'm a different person now yeah and I'm so much more confident so much more confident definitely yeah that's I just think you know obviously there's the whole like pressure of like having kids and stuff yeah but how like how do you deal with that because that's you know more of like a timeline like hormonal thing yes for sure so um anyone that's single and worries about that really shouldn't because i have a five-year plan which you know of right so if i don't need a man and if a man comes along that is fine but i don't need a man i do not need a man if i want to have a baby

i will go and buy some sperm at the spam bank and get pregnant myself that is my plan and anyone that feels pressure she's so sure on this I am so sure on this anyone that feels pressure to find a man and settle for a man they don't even like just to have kids for their you know genetics then um that's a really sad way to live and um and you need to just live for yourself yeah I mean one of our favorite quotes is everything is figureoutable everything and it's so true like there's no point letting yourself be down and you know miserable about the fact your life hasn't played out the way you may have hoped when you were younger or that you're not at the same level as your friends or other people your

age because you know happiness doesn't just come from a relationship and you know if you are at that age where you want to start having a baby and you know thinking about it there are other ways that everything is figureoutable it doesn't just have to depend on you being in like everything is figureoutable and another thing we live by never settle never the emphasis never settle never um but basically no so that is my plan and i'm not worrying about meeting someone as of right now because also it's draining giving your energy that you could be given to yourself to a dating app so let's talk about this because you um have had quite some dates you really have i've had um we've had some questions about um like someone asked what is your worst date? Oh my God, I've had so many.

So many. I've had so many. Guys, I feel like Jasmine could write a book on her dating. What's the worst date? You tell me. I can't remember, there's been so many. What's the one that stands out to you?

The guy that called me fat? Which one? I nearly said his name then um the actor yeah talk about that the crop top oh my god this guy he knocked my confidence sideways I wore turtlenecks for about three months after didn't I no didn't I? No didn't I? So I was dating this guy who thought he was more famous than he was. He really did. And he had the audacity to tell me that I am too womanly, that was the word he used, to wear a crop top. I have no words, that was the word he used to wear a crop top i have no words that's the silence and he we went to a restaurant and he was italian oh god if he's listening to this he's gonna know

it's him um and he apparently the um staff in were talking in italian because it was italian restaurant about my crop top which I don't believe and anyway he said he was highly embarrassed sat there with someone of my age wearing a crop top I told you and you were like so then I went out and purchased three turtlenecks and rotated them for the next three months and they were like long like they cover your entire body turtleneck like jumper knitted they covered your entire body. Tired to, yeah, like jumper, knitted material. Like all to the floor.

Like literally to like my mid thigh. I was like, what has happened? You were like, this is the new look. What's the new look going on here? And then what did he say to you when he was in your room and he found something quite triggering? What was it? Oh, he said, sorry, I can't take you seriously because

your crop tops are like on because I had an open wardrobe rack and he was like your crop tops on the hangers are really distracting me I can't take this conversation seriously and I was like what is your vendetta against this guy must have had some sort of like childhood trauma involving a crop top that was a real bad time and then you composed a message from me to him on New Year's saying I hope you don't talk to women or something like that in the future and it made me feel better but I'm still like the confidence is a little bit knocked okay and then in terms of dating overall like what like where do you find your dates what is your experience with dating I

haven't been on a date in a really long time actually um i've kind of like just stopped for a while because i realized that um i would rather date myself um this is something i've been like trying to get you to do because like i've definitely seen when you've been on dates with guys who aren't yeah it's really nice, they do really knock your confidence. And you're much better off being by yourself, spending time with friends, doing other things, investing your time into other activities. And it confirms my statement of you do not need a man.

You only need a man if they are offering something to your table that is gonna benefit your life yeah do you know what i mean um but like things like with dating yourself if you like you just kind of date yourself with your own love language what's your love language like what do you do in a relationship are you like a gift giver are you like touch you like quite needy or are you like um words of affirmation i don't know come on you must know do you do you i i'm like oh i would say your maybe gifts yeah or words of affirmation yeah so I'm not I'm not like needy or touchy I see I would say I'm like all of the above so if it's words of affirmation you you write yourself quotes which I know you'd be good at yeah like you can write

yourself quotes from the mirror in the morning like how amazing you are or something or like like what you're gonna do this week because you're so great so you can give yourself those words of affirmation if you are quite needy and quite touchy go and get a massage that's you know date yourself looking after yourself and then if it's well I get your hair done get your nails yeah if it's giving yourself gifts go and buy yourself a gift yeah you don't need a man to buy you a gift yeah yeah so that's something i stand me yeah i remember when you went through like you read a book or something didn't you about like how to date yourself and i think it's such a lovely concept i do like i i love it so much

it's great i love swimming time alone i feel like I say that too much on the podcast people are gonna become a loner but you have just gone through a breakup yeah you're allowed yeah yeah so that's your to do this week is to go on a date date yourself I went to the cinema on my own did you yeah and it was one of the best experiences I was a little bit nervous at first, and I made sure to choose a fancy cinema so that I could buy a nice meal on my own. And it was fine.

I feel like people shouldn't, but people would feel embarrassed or ashamed to go out by themselves. I did initially, but then I was like, this is great. You've got no one in your ear going, what's going on in the movie? And you've got no one like trying to nick your food great yeah I loved it so maybe you should do that oh I don't think I could no not for that reason but I go for dinner on your own oh yeah I could go for dinner well then you're fine but I don't I don't I can't watch a film

yeah you're not really into you're not that kind of person no no you like doing background things yeah you have to do something productive yeah um okay i'm going to now ask um look through some of the questions we've got okay kind of like on the same subject as um dating what is the best date you've ever been on oh the best date you've ever been on? Oh, the best date I've ever been on. Okay, I have been on a really good date. It was on Valentine's Day. You know who I'm talking about? Yeah. Yeah, that was such a great date and hard to top, actually.

So I met this guy from Instagram. It was Valentine's Day. I was feeling quite low it was after the Italian knocked me down just got out of a turtleneck finally and then I went I pulled myself up and got up to London

to go on this date for Valentine's Day and it was a really nice dinner day and then I think I honestly needed it and he basically made me not hate men anymore because I went for a real I hate men face oh yeah that was strong that was so strong any male that came near me any man tried to hit on me I honestly I have fear for them so anyway yeah so that was

the best date i've ever been on in london nice and he's still my friend now to this day he is really yeah oh nice i spoke to him the other day do you believe that you can be friends with guys you have dated or been in relationships with relationships no dated yes i'm friends with many that makes me sound like i date a lot i really don't i'm friends with a lot of datees datees yeah so um and it's fine it's fine yeah except no that there is an exception there um when they get a girlfriend the girlfriend isn't really that happy about you so then the contact is cut oh we know that we know that um someone someone has asked um how does your friendship go how does our friendship yeah how is your friendship how

does your friendship go how does our how would you describe our friendship twin flames yes yes um so we spent so much time together at one point and then almost like too much to the point that when you got a boyfriend it was almost a blessing in disguise because we spent way too much time together wow I didn't think you would say that yeah I'm being nice okay um so yeah it was it was good to have the two variations that needed to happen yeah we needed a breakup we needed our own little breakup at some point yeah guys we would literally spend all day long together we'd work together just to be like i'm coming around and she'd like to say people thought we lived together but we didn't know that we didn't and she'd say at my house still really late and then we'd be like right should we meet at six o'clock tomorrow morning

i used to have like five hours of sleep and then i'd be back at your house i was so tired oh my god what's wrong with us um but yeah how would you describe our friendship uh best friends yeah yeah we're like best friends i feel we we just have that like weird connection like you always feel like you you get a sign or a feeling when i'm having a bad day i'll message you going what's wrong yeah like i can sense something's going on yeah weird connection i've been through a lot because, you know, your ex-boyfriend hated me and everything. She said it. Oh, that's her. I said it. Someone has asked a question about that.

Go. How many questions are there? There's quite a few. Okay, go. Hang on, let me just scroll down and find it. Do you want to say it? We don't have to talk about this topic if you don't feel comfortable. Why did Jasmine move to London?

Does she not like your boyfriend? Is that someone we know? No. Oh, interesting. I moved to London for many reasons, didn't I? It might be obvious but yeah me myself and emma's ex-partner um we definitely clashed we definitely clashed and teamed with my breakup and the get together of you and him it did give me that little push to move away and be like i need a break it did but it was for the better because i always wanted to do it anyway

and um it just gave me that little yeah and you're loving it london now i'm loving we're still friends so we're still friends you know that tested our friendship well yeah that did yeah that did that was very stressful for you actually yeah i think it's more stressful for you yeah it was i will just say this now having a boyfriend slash fiancee yeah and a best friend who passionately hate each other is very hard yeah yeah it's not nice he started it he's okay right we won't go into details here end of conversation i bet there's so many stories like that though where the best friend doesn't get on with the boyfriend i i reckon that happens a lot it's probably really common probably but i do think

the judgment of your best friend is extremely important anyway go on um okay this is a question which I feel like is very um topical for you and I to talk about how do you not feel left out when your friends go out drinking I feel like my friends are always going out partying and I don't want to go because I'd rather focus on my health and fitness we have a really good balance of that I think but also at the same time I am not a party girl I'm just not a party girl yeah so my biggest tip I was actually talking about this in the last podcast my biggest tip is literally to not feel the pressure to always like be going out with your friends and doing some things you don't want to do just because you want to be a social butterfly like your friends if they understand who you are and your personality and that you might not like drinking and you want to focus on other things yeah if you're honest about that they

will understand and sure if they're not your friends they're not your friends if they make you feel bad for that i went out the other day with my my housemate and her friend and they were drinking and I ordered a Diet Coke but they didn't say anything and I was thankful that they did didn't but like why should I feel pressured to drink wine if I don't want to I actually don't like the taste of wine either no no I don't like the taste of alcohol I remember one night we went out and everyone was pressuring us to have a alcoholic drink and we just didn't want to this isn't sub 13 and people thought we were really weird and we were getting like actual hate to our face about just there with our diet coke like we're having a great time yeah yeah my my

biggest tip is just be confident and own your decision if you don't want to drink and you want to have a diet coke or a water or whatever just be confident with that decision and enjoy it for sure yeah that's my new quote of the day what be confident in your decisions for a diet coke it's just a great quote but we we don't go out that much anyway but we like you say we are very balanced and we'll like we'll go out we'll have a drink yeah we're going out for halloween we are going out for halloween Still need to get an outfit. Yeah, what are you thinking? A cat.

I'm thinking a devil. No, but that doesn't go. And? We'll just be like, oh, look, here's the cat and the devil. How weird. No. Like, if you were, like, a black cat and I was, like, a brown cat. But I feel like I need to wear red to go with my nails. Okay.

Maybe I can go as an angel, then. I feel like we're running out of time. Okay. Carry on. Oh, okay.'s let's do this one um is there anything fitness or nutrition related that you and jasmine don't agree on or have different opinions on oh that's a good question no we are we train the same we have the same minds i'm trying to think if there's anything we don't agree on i mean maybe biscoff spread biscoff spread i could yeah i can have a biscoff jar yeah i can't talk i can have a jar of biscoff spread in my house yeah the other day when you

gave me one square of chocolate on my oats i was like why would you do that so yeah we do have disagreements in that way um okay how to support your best friend who's going through a breakup spend time together i think this is why it's kind of um the timing of you breaking up and me moving we need to surround you with friends right now yeah yes but that is the ultimate uh best way to get over a breakup is spend time with friends. And doing things that make you feel good. Yeah. It's actually that's one of the silver linings of breaking up with someone is that you can direct all your energy towards friendships that maybe you didn't spend time with before. I'm not saying you did that.

No. No. No. Okay. Okay. Give me a quote. My quote. I have a quote um relatable to my subject of being single and not caring okay so your self-love must always be stronger than your desire to be loved by others oh i love that yeah i love that i want to write it on my mirror that's how much i love it that's a really nice quote but it's true yeah yeah um so i actually like i'm quite the person of quotes yeah but i actually saw something else on i think it's pinterest and it made me realize

i do a lot of these things they're like psycho like psychology tricks and i feel like i subconsciously do that actually you've taught me to do it actually so i'm just gonna say them because i think it could be helpful yeah okay so if someone insults you pause for several seconds and just stare at them and say are you okay if you ever pause before speaking to me it really stresses me out because you do it all the time it's like a test it's really effective i hate it so much yeah so if someone is insulted see you did this wrong if someone assaults you or like you're like almost trying to make them feel okay about it oh yeah that's what i do with the dates i go okay. Yeah, whereas if someone insulted me,

I would stare at them intently in the eye, pause for several seconds. No, but I try. Are you okay? I've applied a little bit. I'm getting better. Okay, second one. If you think someone is lying to you,

look into their eyes deeply and don't say anything. I love doing that. The truth will come out. It will. They'll feel so awkward. And you'll just watch them squirm. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay, if you're in an argument keep your voice calm it will give the impression that you're winning the argument did you learn that from your ex shut up okay good posture increases confidence so you need to spread your body out and take up more space because it leads to increased confidence shoulders back just yeah let it all hang out that's a little bit like um if you've got a Spread your body out and take up more space because it leads to increased confidence. Shoulders back. Just, yeah, let it all hang out. That's a little bit like if you got attacked by a bear. You're supposed to be big and strong to scare it off because it's like, oh, that person's confident. No, it's because I watched an Instagram

of someone being attacked by a bear this morning. Sorry. Carry on, carry on. Okay, last one. This is really weird. Your eyes dilate when talking to a person you truly love oh really yeah apparently interesting next time we're on a date i'll see if anyone's pupils are dilating yeah are you falling in love with me you'll know if he'll then be your baby daddy or if you have to buy some sperm go to the sperm bank anyway thanks so much

for listening guys i hope this was somewhat um entertaining yeah it was weird to interview you yeah very weird very weird and we're gonna give some lunch now yeah we're gonna go get some food grab some snacks and chillax exactly but yeah thank you so much for listening guys as always we appreciate it if you leave us a review if you tag us on your instagram story jasmine do you want to plug your insta everyone thinks it's my name jotta i don't know someone actually said to me the other day hi jotta and i was like that's not my name so jasmine's instagram is at jotta um yeah people think it's her name her name is jasmine, obviously. Yeah. So give her a follow. Thanks.

Right, see you next week. Goodbye. Love you. Bye.