Real Girls Radio - EP 21: The Christmas Period - Milly's experience with food guilt and her tips

Episode Date: November 16, 2022

Grab some snacks and chillax whilst Milly chats about...The festive period that's creeping up, and how she manages food guilt, socialising and societies rules around it all. Milly has had many Christmas' that she dreaded, but it's now a period that she looks forward to and she shares her tips on how to get to this stage. No more feeling guilty eating more food, no more binge-restrict mentality and no more 'getting back on track'.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/e-1-the-unheard-truth-of-millys-journey. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes drop every Tuesday. ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. ACAST.com Hello and welcome to Braille Girls Radio. I'm Millie. And I'm Emma. And we are both very normal Braille girls just like you. Here to talk about all things health, fitness, and navigating your way through this crazy life. We're your new

besties. We want you to feel part of our weekly chats and we're excited to invite you in to our exclusive girl gang. Grab some snacks and chillax whilst we chat. Woo! Yeah. Okay, I think we've got it. I think we can..., everyone. How are we doing? Oh my God. Wow, I'm back. So it's just Millie G today. I've been away in Bali. So I've been away for the past, what, three weeks? It's been crazy.

It's been wild. Oh my God, guys, if you don't follow me on Instagram, you wouldn't have seen. But generally, I had the best time ever. Had the absolute best time ever. And I just, I can't believe I'm back. It's's just gone so quickly um also just before we get into the podcast I am literally recording in my kitchen so I hope you're not going to be hearing trains going by or kids shouting and coming out of school you know if you do I apologize um but it's just me

and my microphone and my cup of tea and my chocolate so I've got lint mint chocolate with me it's the best thing ever um let's get in the into the podcast so basically I'm going to talk to you guys about the festive period to be honest I didn't really know what to talk about today because I was like I just feel like I share so much on my Instagram and my YouTube and I feel like you just hear you know so much from me and about my life and I didn't really want to give you an update of my time in Bali whatever because obviously I've got that on YouTube I've got that on Instagram so I kind of just wanted to talk about the festive period because I know a lot of us struggle with this and you know whether you've got an eating disorder or not there's still a lot of people who struggle

and there's still a lot of people who feel guilty for eating more foods than they usually do I don't really want to use the word indulging because I just don't I don't like that word it doesn't sit well with me um but obviously coming from an eating disorder background I never enjoyed the festive period and I and obviously now I do like it's it's my favorite favorite time of the year I bloody love Christmas so much I literally if I had Christmas every month I would still not lose the novelty like I just love it so much so I'm really happy that I can finally say that because there was a lot of years and just a lot of memories that I have which aren't the best memories when it comes to Christmas and like

even birthdays as well just like festivities celebrations it's hard when you suffer with an eating disorder and you suffer with like guilty feeling around food um so yeah I know this is going to be very relevant for a lot of you listening men women everyone I think it's very relevant so I'm just here to give you guys my advice my tips my experiences I just want to also say I am very aware of how privileged I am to to be able to celebrate Christmas with family and with lots of food and you know even having the time off work to celebrate it I completely salute everyone who works on Christmas day or, you know, around the Christmas period. And my heart goes out to everyone who can't celebrate Christmas with their family. So yeah, I'm very aware of that. And I, I hope that even, even if I'm talking about the festivities, this, the information I'm giving is

still applicable for absolutely everyone out there. Um, so yeah, I just wanted to touch on that before I dived into this podcast I'm actually going to start with my flop and fly because we can't have an episode without flop and a fly so my flop I've had hand foot and mouth disease since coming back from Bali and okay I honestly have no idea what the hell this disease is it's so new to me i i had these like bumps on my hands and my fingers and my tongue and also like around my mouth and i was like what the fuck is this they were painful they were like blisters but they weren't blisters if that makes sense like it was just the weirdest thing that all of my toes all of my heels it was so painful to walk and also like to hold my phone

and stuff it was just so painful like there was just blisters everywhere and I was I sent it to my family chat and I was like what on earth is this do I need to go to doctors do I need to go to A&E what's going on I'm freaking out it was the day I got back from Bali as well so I thought I contracted some sort of herpes or like rabies I don't know it was I don't. I feel like I'm not a hypochondriac, but when I'm ill, I do think, hmm, this could be bad. So I was panicking, right? And then my family were like, oh, it looks like it's hand, foot and mouth disease. And they were saying some other, you know, diseases. And I was like, oh God, I need to go to the doctors. Anyway, I searched

hand, foot and mouth disease. It was the exact same symptoms that i have so basically that yeah they're just raised dots only on your hands feet and your mouth hence the name and you can't do anything to get rid of it it it goes within like i think they said 10 days so you just have to sit and live your life with these ulcers all over your tongue blisters all over your hands and feet, and it's just the most painful thing ever. So that's my flop. It's very weird. And apparently it's been going around. Apparently some people have been like, oh yeah, I know a friend who's got that. Weirdest thing. Weirdest thing. One of the guys who I went to Bali with also had some sort of ulcers on his tongue and stuff. so I feel like we got it from Bali and

it's also in the UK I don't know I just hope it's not another COVID touch wood let's not not be another COVID so that's my flop and then my fly is you know what my fly is the fact that oh obviously coming back from Bali like having the best time in Bali, literally the most freeing holiday. Like I felt so myself. I felt like, like I didn't work out once. Well, apart from like, okay, I worked out once or twice, but yeah, in like a month I, I hardly worked out. And that is such a big thing for me. And also on top of that, I didn't feel guilty. I didn't feel like, oh, I should probably go to the gym today. Or like it didn't even cross my mind, which is such a win for me. Oh my God, it's just such a win.

Like that is the peak of feeling the freedom, I think. And it's really just so amazing. And even when I got back from Bali, I wasn't like, right, tomorrow I'm going straight to the gym. I didn't even say that to myself. I just went to the gym whenever I wanted to and I have had about three rest days since coming back so I got back like five five days ago I've only been to the gym twice and usually older me would have gone to the gym every bloody day so that's such a win for me I really am proud of myself for that. Anyway, let's get into the episode with Millie J. Right guys, I haven't planned this episode and what I'm about to say. I'm just going to word vomit the whole time and just hope that, you know, what I say makes sense. Basically,

all I'm going to talk about is just, it's all going to be based on my experience. So let's take it back to my earliest memory of Christmas with an eating disorder. If you are new to this podcast and to this community and family and all that, welcome. I hope you're well. Thank you for joining. If you don't know, I had suffered with an eight year long eating disorder but it was undiagnosed I had no idea well I obviously I don't know I was just in denial I was in huge denial um whenever like my family or friends would you know show their concern for me I would just be like what you what you want about like come on I'm actually fine like I'm naturally

skinny all this stuff um even though I knew deep down that there was definitely a lot of things that I was hiding from my family and friends. And even myself. So, obviously, with the Christmas period, it's known for, like, lots of food. Lots of alcohol. Chocolate. Like, just lots of food. Okay? And also lots of social events.

Everyone's just celebrating and having fun and for the majority it's great it's so fun it's just the best time of year for others who suffer with an eating disorder um it's hard really hard and i think a lot of people don't really understand that they don't get it like it's so hard to describe and explain how someone with an eating disorder feels during these times but the way that I would explain it is just feeling completely out of control completely helpless and frustrated I guess like I felt I feel so much frustration no I felt so much frustration during these time this time of the year because I felt like I couldn't control anything yeah it was all about the control having control over what I wanted to do having control

over what I wanted to eat. And it's funny because like, I always think during my eating disorder, control was the main thing that I wanted. Yet during that time, I had absolutely no control over myself because it's my eating disorder that had control over me. So it was such like a juxtaposition I want to control and I was I had this eating disorder because I want to control yet I had no control at all because it was this eating disorder that had control over me and it's funny when you think of it think of it like that because then you understand right okay this eating disorder isn't actually doing me any favors like if I want control then I need to get out of this eating disorder.

I need to take control over this eating disorder. And, like, kind of, like, just twisting your mentality like that. So, yeah, Christmas period, terrifying. I would do so much preparation before Christmas. I would get angry at my family and my, especially my dad, when I'd see him making the potatoes on Christmas day with all of this oil, all of this duck fat, like it literally boiled my blood inside. And I hated seeing, seeing him do that. That's just one really vivid memory that I have every year even not every year it was like every Sunday when he was doing roast dinner as well um I would also just yeah a lot of preparation so I would I hate saying it but I just completely dropped my

calories I was going to the gym all the time I just really felt like I had to compensate um just to make I don't know to make up for all the food that I'm going to be eating on Christmas day and boxing day and even Christmas eve and whatever so it makes me sad because I felt like I had to plan so far in advance just for a few days of freedom. And even on those days of quote unquote freedom, I was definitely not free or utilizing that freedom because I was still tracking my calories in my roast dinner and tracking my calories in the Christmas pudding.

And I mean, I didn't have the Christmas pudding. I'd have like one spoonful. And I'd always remember like my mum, when I went veggie, my mum obviously had to make something separate for me. And I would like go on BBC Good Food and search for the lowest calorie, like Christmas alternative to turkey. And sometimes I'd even think, oh, I wish I actually just ate meat now because turkey is a lot less calories than all these like pastry centerpieces and like butternut squash wellington and shit

like that and it's so sad that I thought that it's so so sad oh my god it's literally sending shivers through my whole body when I think of it like that because it's like this is one day or like a couple of days in a whole year and I'm still meticulously measuring and planning every single thing just to allow myself to have some food with my family which I should be grateful to do anyway like that it's just it takes all of the fun out of Christmas when you have an eating disorder or you know guilt guiltiness around food if that's even a word so yeah and the I remember the first Christmas it was during the COVID time because when I gained weight it was 20 I started to gain weight in 2020 finished my weight gain in 2021 so that's last year which is still mad when

I think of it like that that's literally last year it's not even that long ago um and the first so I remember so I started weight gain I started to gain weight in uh September end of September 2020 so it was only two three months until Christmas and don't get me wrong like I was so much better in my head on that in Christmas 2020 but there was still like oh it's a little uncomfortable like still those sort of thoughts in my head but the Christmas 2021 was the first Christmas where I didn't track my Christmas dinner and my Christmas food and all the food that I ate during that period, which blows my mind, and I actually think removing myself from MyFitnessPal was the turning point for my whole journey, it literally took all of that stress away, it took all of the second thoughts,

and the doubts of, oh should I have an extra extra scoop of ice cream or should I really have another chocolate in the celebrations box? It took away all of those thoughts because I had no idea how many calories I ate that day. So I could have had, you know, I have no idea where I was. So I had no like boundaries. I had no point that told me you need to stop there was nothing so literally when you it just took away that whole strict mentality and even people who track calories and they and they say they're not strict with it trust me it will still be in the back of your head like it will always be in the back of your head if you're tracking calories you're going to be thinking of be in the back of your head, if you're tracking calories, you're going to be thinking of it in the back of your head, because it becomes such, like, a habit to track calories, so even if you're not tracking it on your phone, you're still going to be tracking it in your head,

so, yeah, as soon as I deleted that app, and really just allowed myself to eat what I wanted every day, even if it was, like, so much much food because that's what happened after I stopped tracking I was always just questioning how much I was eating because I was like oh god am I overeating like where am I it's just the fear of the unknown um but I told myself look I I'm not gonna get this far into my journey and let an app stop me from reaching my full potential so I said to myself look if Millie if you want to eat all this food that's all in front of you and you have no idea of how many calories it is you do that because it's just my body trying to play catch up and also it's because it's not used to all this freedom so I knew that in a week two weeks a month my body

will start to realize that I can have any food that I that I want because I will I will give it the food that it wants so I'm not gonna like I'm finally stopped the pattern of ignoring it because as soon as you as soon as you start ignoring your hunger signals your body will be so confused and then when you do have a ice cream or you do have some sort of food that you don't usually allow it to have it's gonna go crazy because it's like oh it's gonna just like jump on the chance to having that sort of food and that is when binges occur and stuff so I said to myself I'm going to allow myself to have any of any food that it wants and then it will start to realize it actually doesn't want all this food because it knows that it can get it every single day so it's not going to have the urge and I was

right it doesn't have the urge and it's just just, I eat intuitively, and some days I eat way less than other days, and it's just intuitive, and it just balances it out, and it's just amazing, and it's like, why didn't I live my life like this sooner, because it's just so freeing, so Christmas last year was the first year that I didn't count my calories, and it generally was one of the best Christmases, I think, you know, when you're younger and you're like, oh, presents, like you just always think about presents and Santa Claus, like that's how you kind of see Christmas. And now I see Christmas as like family, time together, freedom, food, like I love the food. So, and I know, I I always tell myself you are not going to change after just

three days four days a week whatever it is of being out of routine of eating more than you usually do you know that every year every year is the same thing it happens every time my body because I used to think as soon as I overindulge my body gets bloated the next day which is obviously natural it's gonna the food's gonna have to go somewhere right and then a couple of days later it'll go about it'll go back to normal it's like how it used to be before I overindulged and I'd say to myself every time I knew it like I knew it was going to go back to there but it's so hard to tell yourself that in the moment because you just think your body's just going to stay like that forever and so after Christmas I used to think oh my god my body's so bloated

it's going to stay like this for a whole year and I'm going to have to I'm just going to get bigger and bigger every year and it's like no Millie shut up shut up stop being so silly and just remember that it will literally go back to normal like it's water retention it's all the food that you've just eaten. You're going to shit it out. You don't need to do anything differently. And I actually said this in my YouTube video the other day. Wait, did I upload?

Yeah, I uploaded yesterday or today. About how as soon as I let go of these rules, my body was just happy right and once my body got happy it actually looked a way that I liked if that makes sense like it it it just looked a lot happier it didn't look like it was holding on to all this water retention it didn't look stressed it didn't look like like I didn't have body dysmorphia anymore I think that's what it was it was body dysmorphia and I felt like I was like oh my god I'm looking at myself in a completely clear lens completely clear glasses you know um and that was because my body was happy because it was finally

just free and like it wasn't so tied up with all these rules and it didn't feel like it was just constricted and stressed and angry at feel like it was just constricted and stressed and angry at myself because it was just happy and free and it just did what it wanted to do and with everyone's body when you just allow it to do what it wants to do it will be happy and you will have this clear vision and you will actually be happy with how it looks because you've let go of those rules and it's just free and it's not holding on to all the water retention. Sorry, I'm really blabbing on here. So, yeah, where was I?

I thought I just had to say that. Some tips I want to give you guys. If you are feeling really anxious around this period and all of that, I want to remind you guys that this is one time a year, one time a year, and the older you get, I don't know whoever, like, I don't know how old you are, but the older you get, the quicker your years go, and I don't know why that is, it just is, especially with me, I just, this is just obviously based off my experience but the older I'm getting the quicker the year's going and it's bloody scary I tell you that now it's actually scary my life is flashing before my eyes I feel 18 still inside and I'm 25 now I know I'm

still young but that just goes to show how quickly these years are going by. And I'm not going to waste any more time stressing about my body, stressing about food, stressing about such trivial things when you look at the bigger picture. You're going to get older and you're going to look back on your years and think, why the fuck did I stress about that Yorkshire pudding? Or why the hell did I stress about those extra chocolates? Like, oh my God, I'm happy in my body right now why did I stress about that you'll honestly guarantee you you will be so frustrated at yourself for stressing about these things when you're older

so I'm like I'd rather just live my young years to the fullest now look back when I'm older and think thank god I lived my life like that because you only have one life right and it's so hard like I think it's so hard to wrap our brains around the fact that we only do have one life because I don't know about you but I feel like my life is just infinite and I'm gonna live on forever but it's actually not the case and usually I get these like little just realization moments in my life every now and then where I'm like oh my god this could be my last day on earth what the fuck and then I will just do I know I'll send like I love you to my parents or whatever but sometimes you need those realizations and think to yourself okay I need to actually

get out of my head here stop stressing about the really small things and actually just start living freely like at the end of the day everything will have its own solution it will all resolve everything will be fine you are not going to get obese after some couple of days of christ Christmas you know um so yeah when I ever have little like hiccups or little points where I'm like oh I feel a bit sluggish I feel like I probably shouldn't have those other bits of chocolate I've literally just eaten a whole apple crumble and custard and three Yorkshire puddings and a Christmas pie. But then I think, Millie, if you want it, you go get it. You go get it, girl. Really, it's not going to do you any harm. And when I'm older, I'm going to thank myself

for telling myself that. And I know you will too. So just think, what will your older self say? What will your older self say? Also just think what will your older self say what will your older self say also you think what will your younger self say because at the end of the day you're still the same person as your 13 14 16 year old self so if for me my 16 year old self up until I was 23 didn't like Christmas because of the food and the calories and she would just say she would say to me now my 16 year old self would tell me now Millie you can enjoy that you will like just just please enjoy the freedom because right now as your 16 year old self she's not enjoying it and I just wish someone would and I really hope sometime in my life I can enjoy the freedom and that's what all I can hear her say to me she'll be like thank god you're enjoying it like

oh my god please take advantage of it all like wow I can't wait to experience what you're experiencing right now because she is the same person I am still my 16 year old self inside and it makes me really emotional because it's like I've done a whole circle that's really quite crazy like I've gone I've come so far and I have to remind myself that as well because sometimes I'm just going through the motions and like all I care about is just helping other people but I need to remember that whoa I've come so far like my journey is really I'm proud of it I'm proud of it so much and it's the Christmas period that helps remind me of that as well because I've come so far and I can enjoy it and I can look forward to it. Not dread it. Another tip that I could give you guys is.

Always remembering that this feeling will pass. This feeling of fullness will pass. This feeling of bloating will pass. This feeling of guilt will pass. Like always say to yourself in your head. This feeling will pass. And the more you say it. The more you'll actually listen to that.

And understand it and be okay with it like you'll be okay feeling full I feared feeling full for so many years I hated the feeling of fullness obviously it's not comfortable like it kind of hurts doesn't it but I can now just sit in it as opposed to avoiding it completely. And when I sit in my feeling of fullness, I'm like, oh, yeah, my tummy is happy right now. Like she's well fed. And then I'll just have a nap from food coma. But yeah, always remind yourself in your head, tell yourself this feeling will pass.

I think that really helps. Even if you like need to write it on your hand or whatever on Christmas day like just do that do what you need to do um also I think it's really important to just talk to your family and friends talk to anyone who you feel like you're safe talking to um I that was one thing I wish I did I didn't talk to anyone about how I felt towards food and my body um because I and it just made me feel more alone it made me feel so lonely and it made me feel like no one understood it made me feel like when people kind of did recognize something was going on in my head like you know maybe I wasn't eating my food or whatever it made me think that they were all against me but obviously it's because they didn't know they didn't understand and I wish that I just gave them the space and the time to understand.

And to just listen to me. And remember that your closest people will not judge you. Well, no matter of fact, no one will judge you. But I think your closest people in your life will be there to listen to you. And they'll obviously want to help you and just be aware that because eating disorders and this sort of mindset around food and exercise is still very taboo I think it'll probably make some people feel a bit uncomfortable they don't really know what to say they don't want to do um that's only because people don't talk about it enough so open up that conversation open up that

safe space to allow yourself to talk to them and for them to listen and learn and if you know like they'll they'll be learning along the way like sometimes they may say you know things that may trigger you or they may say things that you may think is out of order or you may think they're kind of judging you always think it's not the case it's just because they don't know what to say they don't know but they just want to help so the more you communicate to them the more they'll understand and learn um so really like please please please talk to your mom siblings friend brother dad anyone who you just feel like you can trust just let them know that you know it's an uncomfortable time for you at the moment.

And you just want them to be there for you. They don't need to do anything, but you just want them to listen to you. You just want to feel heard and understood. So that's really important. I'd say another tip is kind of see it as like freedom. Like you want freedom. You want, as for Christmas this year, you would like freedom as your present.

And the only person who can give that to you is yourself. No, it's not Santa Claus, not your parents. Like that's yourself. So that can be the gift to yourself. You can give yourself freedom this year that is the best present you could receive generally is the best present there is absolutely nothing better um and obviously that's coming from someone who has had materialistic things and whatever like generally freedom is the best present I've ever received in my life because it's like it's it's infinite it's like forever it's something that will just be there forever and it's the best thing ever and you gain so many memories from it and so many so much

happiness and oh guys sorry I'm really going on. But yeah, tell yourself, for Christmas this year, I would love freedom and you can give yourself that. Also, I would say, just take each day as it comes. Don't plan, stop yourself from planning things. Stop yourself from looking at menus before you go out for dinner. Stop yourself from restricting in the day so that you can eat or drink in the evening. Please stop yourself.

You have to just take each day, minute, hour, each everything as it comes, okay? Because there's no point planning. The more you plan, the more you're throwing your freedom and the more you're feeding that eating disorder. We don't want to be feeding our eating disorder. We want to be feeding ourselves. So please just, just yeah take each just take it step by step um journal I think journaling is really important journal anything that you want just journal just journal everything I found it so hard to journal my true raw thoughts because even I found it hard to admit things to myself

so just try and be really truthful to yourself um because it will just open up that safe space and it will just release it okay because it's all like it's all just trapped within you you need to just release it in some way and journaling even voice noting to yourself anything like that it will really help so do that um hopefully that can help you guys also i think i want to touch on the january like the january getting back on track this stupid malarkey it saddens me so much whenever i go into the gym in january just doing my thing I see all these people on the treadmills all these people on like the cardio machines every single cardio machine is full

and every single even yeah every single machine is full um and I just think like these people are here for probably the wrong reasons I mean obviously not everyone but there's going to be a lot of people here for the wrong reasons because they'll be there for like a month maybe two months and then they'll just stop again because their mindset is I need to burn off these calories or I'm going to start this year in the best way I'm going to lose weight this year I'm going to like this is all about aesthetics all all about your appearance, all about calories, and it's like, why don't we just go to the gym to literally feel good, to get endorphins, to have, to clear our minds, to, to just move our body, to get blood flowing around our body, like the more blood we have flowing around our body,

the more we can think, I feel like when I'm stuck indoors and I haven't moved at all, I can't think because like everything's just like, there's no blood going to the brain, you know? Um, I just think we need to change our whole mindset. And I know it's so typical to say that, but when you do, you actually understand it and you're like, oh my God, why can't everyone do this? People will to the gym in january to burn off their christmas period and i hate i just hate it even like so many friends and families still do that and they still say that to me and i'm like honestly do you not understand my story here do you understand where i've just come from so what i was going to say on that is don't feel pressured to follow the crowd who do that because the majority of this

society are still very much wrapped up in that sort of way of thinking and there needs to be a select few in the society to show them otherwise and to teach them the actual you know better way of living and i feel like this whole community we got here can do that we can show everyone that that's actually really shit and sad way to live their life every year every january back in the gym and then it gets to summer and they're doing whatever and then christmas and they're like they're eating loads of food and then january getting back in the gym again like imagine that cycle every year how mundane how exhausting so yeah let's just prove to those people like that that's not the way to do it you know um and you can do that as well um i also think removing the triggers and i say this all the time but it is really the best thing that i did as well and well like for example one of my triggers

was my fitness pal like that was the biggest trigger I think actually um and as soon as I removed that then life was a breeze give or not really it wasn't a breeze but you know I mean like it was a lot easier um so removing triggers like okay say if you're watching tv you're watching the news and you're seeing a headline that says Joe, I can't even say that name, that says a certain fitness influencer has released a 30 day shredding workout program to shred off all of the Christmas food. Okay. That's the headline on the news whatever just turn it off like literally turn it off switch it over you don't need to hear that you don't need to see it the more you take into that information the more you're going to believe it and we know

that that's just not true we know that we don't need to believe stuff like that we're smart enough to not go down that road let's remove the triggers um people online that you see talking about i don't know say they put a post and in their caption they're saying how to get back on track no uh see you later anyone who uses the phrase getting back on track can know that's an absolute unfollow from me i'm sorry but getting the back on i just don't like getting back on track i always say you're you're always on track like you are always on track if you go off track then what are you doing like how are you going off track what do you mean by going off track you should always be on track even if you're on a diet you you are like and if you okay right even if you're on a diet you've had a whole week of eating and drinking whatever that's not going

off track you're still on track because you need to be doing that to just to to lose weight you need to be doing that to stick to your diet because then if you're not doing that it's gonna it's gonna cause a whole binge restrict cycle and that's going that is going off track guys that is not the track that you want to be on so I always say we're always on track so anyway sorry another tangent anyone who says getting getting back on track just give them a little unfollow or give them a little mute I think I'm gonna end the episode here I think I've blabbed on too much this is kind of just a whole brain dump on my thoughts of you know the Christmas period and everything um I just want you all to know that this christmas period should be enjoyed it should be it's just it's just to enjoy your time with your friends your family it's just enjoy your life like

guys this is the life we're living right now we're literally in the midst of our life you need to enjoy that because you don't know when your last day is and as morbid as that sounds it's so true you really don't know when your last day is and sometimes you only as that sounds it's so true you really don't know when your last day is and sometimes you only realize that when it hits a bit too close to home and you're like shit her like I wish I I don't know there's some people in my life who have unfortunately passed at too young of an age and it makes me think oh my god we really don't know when we're gonna go and it's it's so sad to think about that but sometimes you have to remind yourself that to enjoy your life and to really let go of those trivial rules and worries that we put on ourselves also i want you to know like don't feel like you

have to eat so much food and like go crazy because then it will lead to a whole restricting binging cycle and that will yeah it will probably make you go into the gym in January and go to the gym every single day like all the other people in society do and like I said we know we're a lot smarter than that so just generally eat what you want to eat that doesn't mean you have to go crazy that doesn't mean anything it just means eat what you want to eat and if that does mean you're eating so much then yes so be it you go get it girlfriend like or boyfriend guy or girl whatever just do it don't overthink it I think we overthink things too much don't we obviously I can put my hands up and say I do overthink things as well try and like think to yourself what would Millie do what would Millie

say she would go say have that donut she would and enjoy it so anyway I love you guys oh I need to give you a quote I cannot run away from the episode without giving you guys a quote so it's a little bit cringy but whatever life becomes more meaningful when you realize the simple fact that you'll never get the same moment twice i'm gonna say that again life becomes more meaningful when you realize the simple fact that you'll never get the same moment twice and you won't you'll never get the same moment twice so take that and use it in your life use it during throughout this christmas period just use it okay you'll never get the same moment twice make that moment a memory and a memory that you'll cherish forever and i'm gonna leave you on that note so i I love you guys. Thank you so much for listening. If you can, if you do like this podcast, please rate it on Apple music, um, share it on Spotify, share it on your stories. Um, it means the world to us. It's literally the only way that our

podcast can still run just by doing those things. So thank you if you do do that and we'll see you. Emma will join in the next episode. Um, and we'll see you, Emma will join in the next episode. Um, and we'll see you next week. Love you. Bye.