Real Girls Radio - EP 26: 22 life lessons from 2022 - these are LIFE CHANGING

Episode Date: December 21, 2022

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/e-1-the-unheard-truth-of-millys-journey. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Love this podcast? Support this show through the Acast Supporter feature. It's up to you how much you give and there's no regular commitment. Just hit the link in the show description to support now. Acast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Hi, I'm Kylie. And I'm Elliot. Here's a show that we recommend. movies to match your moods. So join us every Thursday on our moody movie journey to hear about what we watched that week and the feelings that made us feel because movies are magic and feelings are too. So watch more movies and stay moody my dudes. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com This podcast episode is sponsored by Empower Online Coaching. Okay guys, so I'm sure lots of you already know,

but I have worked with Emma, who was my coach when I was going through my weight gain journey. Emma, honestly, when I say it was a game changer, I am not even kidding. Just to have that accountability, support and educational guidance, it was honestly such a win. I loved it. Aw, thanks. I'm genuinely so kidding. Just to have that accountability, support and educational guidance. It was honestly such a win. I loved it. Oh, thanks.

No, I'm genuinely so proud of you. Honestly, coaching women through their health and fitness journeys is genuinely one of my biggest passions, which is why I set up Empower Online Coaching in the first place. I was just fed up with seeing these cookie cutter plans and one size fits all approaches in the coaching industry. So I really wanted to reinvent the space and create the ultimate personalized health and fitness experience. So Empower Online Coaching is a safe and supportive place for women to get their guidance that they need to reach their health and fitness goals. Whether your goal is to lose body fat, improve your relationship with food, gain weight or build a bum, Emma and her team are your go-to girls. We're basically your in-pocket

cheerleader hype girls who will also educate and support you to your end goal. Everything will be housed on the Empower app where you'll get bespoke training programs, nutrition plans, food inspo, educational ebooks and so much more. You can log your progress every week through the check-in feature where you'll receive weekly changes, and personalized feedback and you can communicate with myself and my incredible team through the in-app whatsapp style chat day or night but just remember we aren't robots and do actually need sleep and we have an exclusive discount code for the real girls radio listeners we've never actually done a discount code before you know no so this is very exclusive but if you inquire about online coaching before christmas which is 25th december for those of you who don't know and quote real girls radio

you will receive a huge 20 off your coaching subscription so go to empower online coaching.com fill out your deets and quote real girls radio for 20% off. I said Real Girls Radio. I can't guarantee that your bum's going to look as good as Millie's, but I will give it a good shot. Love that. Hello and welcome to Real Girls Radio. I'm Millie. And I'm Emma. and we are both very normal bro girls just like you, here to talk about all things health, fitness and navigating

your way through this crazy life. We're your new besties, we want you to feel part of our weekly chats and we're excited to invite you in to our exclusive girl gang. Grab some snacks and chillax whilst we chat. Woo! Hello, hello. I hope you're all having a good week. Yeah. What week is it? Oh, I'm not going to go into that question.

Episode 26. Wow. And we are so close to Christmas now. But anyway, this episode, I feel like it's going to be really, really good. And I've been excited to do this one because it really made me reflect

on the year i've had and i'm sure and it's been a bloody crazy year oh yeah yeah it's gone so by gone so by gone by so quickly yeah also can i just say before we get into the episodes um i hope everyone enjoyed last week's episode i was very nervous about that episode like i actually felt really uncomfortable oh no did you? no it's because we don't talk about it we don't talk about it so it was actually really good to have my mum on

to get it out in the open get it all out but also we remembered what an embarrassing thing about was it an embarrassing thing? yeah so she couldn't think of something embarrassing that Millie did when she was younger and then as soon as we stopped recording, she remembered.

Yeah, then she remembered. So basically what happened was we went to Malta, my mum and I, and we forgot the straighteners, which was just end of the world for us. This was probably like seven, eight years ago. And so my mum came up with the idea to get the ironing board out

and iron my hair on the ironing board. I can't believe you did that. With straighteners. And I remember it so vividly and I was just like lying with my head, my hair laying out and then it's just like, she was ironing my hair. I was like, is it working?

She was like, yeah. And it was all straight but like, Did it actually work? Yeah, but it's awful for your hair. Yeah, I can imagine. I think I remember it, cause it was so humid as well. And the ironing board, like the iron uses water. Yeah. So it went it went really puffy it wasn't good you better have used some heat protection oh we

didn't no no no there was no heat protection there so yeah that was a funny story oh it was lovely meeting your mom yeah she says you're lovely she messaged me yeah she says you're really nice we're gonna have to get my mom on yeah we. I'm seeing her tomorrow for her birthday. So I'll. Now that she knows my mum's been on, she'll be like, oh, okay, maybe I'll go. Yeah. Yeah. Bless her. Yeah.

Anyway, yeah. But yeah, so excited for this episode. But before we get into it, we will start with our flop and our fly. So I actually had a flop. But I think what happened to me yesterday has kind of trumped it so okay i was just telling you what happened to my leg i don't know if you'll see on the camera but i have a big like wedge of skin come out of my leg because how awful because i was in the gym and you know like the squat rack where you put the barbell on the little thing sticking out was like right at the bottom

and I didn't see it and I turned around and my leg walked straight into it and it was so painful like I nearly vomited like it was that bad and you know it makes such a noise as well yeah looking and there was one other guy in there who was really like close to me so I had to just like keep the pain oh i hate that it was horrible and i just didn't really think it was that bad then i got home and it was bleeding oh no it does look quite painful it's painful but then what's what's the trump is that the word the trump like the trump to it that was turned around nothing that's that i thought you said you know it's a trump of it no i said i had another flop

but this one has kind of oh that's trumped it yeah like my other flop though was the other what are you laughing at i don't know my other flop no that's just what you sounded like oh my god i don't know why i just really heard it like sorry sorry oh my god do you think i sound posh yeah do you yeah i had no i can't unhear it i just can't imagine myself as posh there the other flop my other flop okay anyway okay right my other flop is i was making my vision board for 2020 right um i feel like we can maybe talk about this in another episode um because i love making a vision board yeah and what i'm doing is basically going through pinterest and adding lots of things that i want to be in my life quotes like pictures

and stuff and putting it all in a board and they're gonna make a collage yeah and just oh nice i put it as my phone background yeah i just think it's really good to do and i definitely recommend doing that before the end of the year guys um but anyway as i was making it it just actually maybe burst into tears because i just, I came across like my boards on Pinterest of when I was like planning my wedding and it just made me realize that how different my life is gonna be next year to what I thought. Like I was supposed to get married and yeah.

So I just had a bit of a low moment, but it's fine. But you can turn that into a fly yeah because now this year's well next year's about focusing on yourself and things will all fall into place yeah and the right man will come along and you will marry him and you'll be the happiest princess but yeah i know it's just a bit sad but you know it is what maybe you needed to see that for whatever reason you needed to see that it's just crazy like how much how quickly like life can change on this what you thought was gonna be your future it's just gone crazy well i guess if you want well if we were to try and see a positive out of that, it is.

At least you weren't in the deep, like, planning stages of the wedding where you had to cancel everything and lose a lot of money and everything. I had already, like, put the venue in. You had the dress. Oh, God, imagine that. Obviously, it's not ideal, but that would have been even worse. Yeah. You know? Silver linings.

Silver linings, that's the word um okay and my fly oh okay right sorry i just wrote it down run by myself so i recently did a photo shoot because we're doing a like a rebrand on my website like a rebrand for empower yeah um so we just wanted some updated pictures and stuff with me and I didn't diet for it I didn't change how I was eating and literally do anything at all in preparation with this photo shoot I just rocked up how I was yeah and that's how you are is the best and I just kind of thought to myself like I'm not going to diet or change how I look for it because how I look right now is my like healthy, happy body,

which is what I'm promoting to clients. So I don't want to have like a false representation of myself out there promoting something different. Definitely. You don't want the false advertisement. No, but it was the first photo shoot I'd ever done where I hadn't like dieted or, you know, done anything. Oh my God, that's a big step. Yeah.

And I got the photos back and I'm like actually happy with them because I look at them and I look happier yeah healthier I look strong and I'm just like better in general yeah yeah I actually made a comparison I'm gonna place it I want to see it um it's like 10 kilos heavier and I posed in exactly the same position and it's just crazy like wow was it meant to be the same position yeah that's so oh my god and there's like you look so strong in the current one yeah like incredible you literally look incredible yeah it's just crazy as well because like i

remember being back then i'm sure you probably felt like this too but like you could never imagine being like 10 kilos heavier yeah you'd be like oh you would be like sorry that's not gonna happen yeah or you'd think you'd be like in a total pit of misery yeah yeah yeah but i'm not i'm happy i'm i feel good i feel strong I feel confident and I was a timid weak insecure person when I was lighter and that's what I thought would give me more confidence I can fully see that though like I can really like you are really um what's the word like radiating this confidence like I really can see it really no honestly i'm not even saying this like just the way you talk the way you like position yourself you're such a incredibly confident person do you think and i think yeah be confident in that yeah i really do

oh really do no honestly and it makes me feel confident oh yeah it does because i see you just like owning your shit oh i think i think confidence is one of the most attractive traits like that is what i find attractive in other people yeah i agree and what and guys yeah yeah and in anyone like i think you are a lot more attractive if you just have a bit of confidence and and not questioning yourself because then people will question your confidence yeah yeah but if you just own it like people are like fuck and just fake it till you make it i think if you if you can like fake your confidence you'll gradually start to learn how to be like that and then you're naturally we're already going into the episode yeah we are things that we've learned oh god right let me stop what's your flopping flight oh yeah my flopping flight okay so my fly is oh my god okay yesterday don't know if you saw my

stories i went to the gym talk store and a follower came in and gave me a gift and it came with a lovely card that says like you sparkle like christmas and the card was like you've saved my life all this incredible beautiful words and honestly it made me feel just so out of the world and then she brought me a lovely anthropology mug which i know that i'm just gonna be using every single day like i love my teas and coffees and everything and hot chocolates and it's just the most thoughtful caring loving gift and it really just made my day i made my whole week that's so sweet really cute um so that's definitely my fly my flop well i guess my flop is i'm starting to see

the side effects of arachitane which are so dry lips my lips are becoming dry do you know what it is cold right it is cold my lips are getting dry and they don't normally yeah they're not cracking yet but they're getting very dry and um just lethargy feeling really drained really cba for everything and apparently that's how you get with your workouts um i am still mixing them up yeah um i'm kind of just going in doing my usual things switching up every now and then but i just because i don't have a goal i feel like there's not much drive so maybe i needed some sort of goal to work towards now i I think. Yeah, but when I was making my vision board, I was like, cause I've been like you for a while, not really having a goal,

but I've been thinking of goals for next year. It's just hard to know what I want to set myself as a goal. Maybe I'll do a strength goal. Maybe just have a little brainstorm. See what feels right for me. Yeah. Yeah. Doesn't always have to be physique goals.

No, no, no. But I'm loving boxing. Good. Really loving boxing. I bought five sessions of boxing. Oh, nice. So I'm going to those every week. And it's just great.

Yeah, it's really mixing up. So yeah, my flop. Oh yeah, that was your flop. Yeah, I decided that. Duh. Duh. Duh. Me, not listening. Right listening right yeah i'm doing you um right so let's get straight into the episode so this is going to be 22 lessons we have learned from 2022 and i'm just going to preface this by

saying i know like a lot of people they'll do a roundup of their year and talk about how fucking great it was and i'm just going to be real i had the worst year of my life i really did it was horrific there were great points to it there was a lot of great times a lot of amazing memories and a lot of things i'm so grateful for but it was a really testing year for me very challenging but i think maybe the most self-growth in it a hundred percent like i think this is why this episode is going to be hopefully really insightful because i feel like i have learned so much this year wow well then you go first you you know okay i'll go first we're going to take it in turns so we've got 11 each 11 each there will probably be we'll skip through stuff we'll not skip but we'll say something expand yeah some will be longer some will be shorter okay so the first one is learning

to be okay with a lesser version of yourself so like not always having to be a 10 out of 10 um or like comparing yourself to previous in your head superior versions of yourself and when I was like at my lowest points in the year I would compare myself to like older versions of myself that was doing better or performing better and you know people always talk about like how you should never compare yourself to other people but I think it's also really important that we talk about not comparing yourself to like the old you or like when you were better yeah because quote unquote like we're always gonna go through ups and downs and i think sometimes when you you have to acknowledge that you're not your best right now

and be okay with that and still love yourself and you know give yourself that rest and time to build yourself back up yeah i guess i so relate to this because with my therapist she does a lot of like inner child work and she's asked me questions even the one therapy session i just had she was like um like do you so basically i had to hug myself and i was having to hug like my child it really works but i had to reconnect with my inner child. I saw your TikTok. Yeah. It really works. But I had to reconnect with my inner child and after this session, it was right at the end,

I had a lot of resentment towards my younger self because of everything that she put herself through. And I was finding it so hard to hug myself and I was like, that obviously was not a good version of me and I'm like such a better version of myself now, but that still so relevant because like if i don't like my younger self it's still not fully liking me as a person because that was still me and it's still me inside that's like got you to where you are yeah and so if i'm not loving her there's no way i can love myself right now yeah so you need to like you said love yourself no matter what like it's unconditional love unconditional love no matter where you're at in your journey i actually noticed

like a lot of my clients will have that and like you know for example when a mom has a baby they'll like always be comparing themselves like physically in particularly like to when before they had a baby how they looked then and think like oh i was so much better then it's like no like you're the same person you are amazing and your body has taken you through so much you just have to love yourself no matter what and stop comparing yourself to the old you or the future you just you know love yourself now yeah right that's the first reach it very long okay so number two number two well so my number one well yeah it. It's very long. Okay, so number two. Number two. Well, so my number one. Well, yeah, number two.

Let's do, yeah, number two. Therapy. Sorry, I've just burped. I'm freaking out. Therapy is not. So again, I wrote this down. So there's a, what do you call it? Spelling error thing.

Type it. Basically, what my number two is, is that going say this is gonna be an inspirational podcast and we just off the rails okay therapy is not for the weak like you're getting therapy you're not weak for getting therapy you're not weak for getting therapy you're not weak for getting therapy and my therapist always says the people who say they don't need therapy are the ones who need it the most yeah i 100 and i think the the taboo sort of topic around therapy and everyone thinking that it's you know if it's your your week or like you need help it's well yeah everyone needs help but it's actually the most strongest thing you can do you

reach out for help go out wholeheartedly that's my quick one okay number three um so basically life can be really unfair sometimes and i think a saying that i have used a lot this year is it is what it is and actually just kind of sometimes accepting that shit things happen and life can be really unfair and by accepting it it kind of gives you peace absolutely and allows you to kind of move on with your life and stop like yeah welling over it yeah and like to give you an example I've not really I was I've not really spoken about this on the podcast I think I touched on it like once but this year I lost a lot of money like a big chunk of my savings for really unfortunate circumstances and like my like my

savings that I have like I have literally worked for every single penny of my savings. I've not been given a penny by like family or anything. And yeah, I lost a lot of money this year. And it like, it was on my mind for so long. I like really getting me down. And in the end, I have kind of just accepted like sometimes shit happens and life can be unfair. But the best thing you

can do for your future self is just to accept it and move on and look for the future more better happy times and money is something that always flow in and out you always get it back yeah but like you said it is just fucking shit yeah but yeah accepting is actually such a good yeah skill and that can be applied to anything yeah you know i agree like it is really shit but like really unfair things happen to people who don't deserve it and shit things happen to really great people and there's no kind of explanation for that yeah and i think you just need to you know move on fuck and be like it's that like it is what it is sort of like what's the word bitter love sort of thing yeah kind of like that yeah it's fucking shit i guess the more there's like one thing that i've learned this year is worrying isn't going to get you anywhere and like if you're worrying about that

as well of course it's a worrying thing but it's actually not going to get you anywhere in life yeah so then if you move on you accept it you'd be proactive with your next steps and how you're gonna you know find a solution because there is always a solution that's the one yeah then you're succeeding in life i guess as well like just don't don't dwell or worry about things you cannot control yeah exactly, exactly. It's out of your control. Because it's out of your control. You cannot do anything about it. So stop dragging yourself down by dwelling on it. Yeah.

And that is that. Preach it. Number four. Number four. So the answer to why someone doesn't like you is right in front of you and it's them. They're the reason. So they are the reason.

It's their insecurities. It's their worries, everything. They are the reason why they don't like you. It's them they're the reason so they are the reason it's their insecurities it's their worries everything they are the reason why they don't like you it's not you there's nothing about you that you should change because someone else doesn't like you and i feel like i've really ingrained that in my head this year and not everyone is gonna like you not everyone really should like you like it's like a yeah and it is not your job on this earth to be liked by other people. As long as you like yourself. Yeah. And I know these ones that we're saying like some of them are very self-explanatory.

But I think once you really drill it in your head, you're like, fuck yeah, that's so true. I think sometimes you just need a reminder. You need to hear one certain thing and it clicks. Yeah, it does. And the more you hear it, the more chance it's going to click for you yeah okay next number five i think this one will apply to both of us not allowing social media to dictate your self-worth um the instagram algorithm does not equate to being a successful human. Fucking hell, it's an awful place sometimes. I think all content creators and social media personalities

or even just like to listeners who post on Instagram and kind of like get caught up in likes and stuff, like in comparison to their friends, like it doesn't matter. It's just- It's so superficial. Yeah. It's literally means nothing yeah and you really really cannot get caught up in the whole algorithm and likes and numbers because it

fluctuates like crazy it goes up and down up and down and you cannot rely on that to give you like your words or your work yeah i agree i agree i always need to remind myself that um number six you will not lose anything by putting yourself out there um you know just introduce yourself to people make connections like say hi to people like the fact that you're confident enough to do that will show so much these people and it will take you so far. Like so far, one conversation can literally lead to so many opportunities. And I've really, really, yeah,

put that into practice this year. Going to events and introducing yourself to people is so scary. The people that don't know you, but you know them or whatever. Maybe you don't even know each other at all and you're just introducing yourself. I find it such a daunting thing to do but the more I do it the more I come away from it I'm like oh my god thank god I did that because if I didn't do that I wouldn't have

got that opportunity I wouldn't have made that connection which made that connection oh yeah it's such a good skill and I really yeah I'm gonna take that into 2023 yes that's so true actually and like I guess that also connects like networking like i think the people you know the networks you can make can quite literally change your life yeah and like so even you know if you're wanting to get a job in something don't wait around for something to come to you like put yourself out there reach out to a ceo like the sky's the limit, do not limit your potential. Like don't think that, oh, I'm not gonna email them because I probably won't get reply.

No, email them, do it. You will never know if you don't try. You will never know. And the fact that you've had that confidence to do that, those quote unquote higher up people, whoever you're trying to make connections with, they will look at you and be like, well, I want that person in my team

because they've put themselves out there. Yeah, they've been proactive. I think it's so good. Okay, next one. A short one, but very important. You have to see failure as a new beginning, not an end. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. When one door closes closes another door opens always

always you really do have to yeah i completely change your mindset and think if something shit happens and something ends it's not an end it's actually just the start of a new amazing you're getting closer to the one thing that you really is authentic to you you should be doing i always think like when something like that, it's just narrowing it down. I'm like, okay, job done, on to the next one. What else do I need to do? To like, wheeze my way through. Meander way, your way through.

Yep, Leander. Meander. Meander. Meander. Meander. It's like, I like that word. Could I have some of your drink please? Oh, it's B-Real.

Yes, of course. Right, number eight. Oh my god, I forgot the number. I forgot the number. I think it's be real yes of course right number eight oh my god i forgot the number i think it's number eight um okay i learned this in therapy i'll just wait for emma to swallow sorry the word should in any sentence is a red flag. Should. Yeah. So I like this. Okay. Elaborate. So when I say, oh, I should probably go meet a friend. My therapist is always like, oh, no, no, no, no, no. Millie, we do not say should in any sentence. The word should comes from not setting boundaries with ourselves and other people. It's like so hard to say where should.

It's really hard to not use that in a sentence as well. Instead of saying I should go see a friend, it's like, well, do you want to go see your friend? I want to go see my friend or I'm not going to. I'd actually rather not see, yeah. Like the fact that should is in that sentence means that there's a lot of external factors and people pleasing that's coming into play.

So that's obviously an example. There's so many other things like, oh, I should probably go to the gym. No, do you wanna go to the gym? Do you feel like you have time to go to gym? Like there's so many other words that you can use to rephrase that sentence. It's like the should is like,

oh, you're actually being- Pulled by external factors. Yeah, yeah, that's exactly it. So I always catch myself when I say should, and there's so many times where I'm like, oh God. I guess it just makes you like, clarify in your's so many times where I'm like, oh God. Really? I guess it just makes you like clarify in your head what you actually want.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The motives behind things that you're doing. It's good, it's a good one. I think it's a really eye opening thing I've learned. Okay, this one I think is very applicable to us again. So it is to start before you're ready and stop waiting for the perfect time um an example is this podcast yeah like when million eyes started this podcast what was it

back in march 8th from march 8th we didn't have a clue what we were doing we literally did not have a clue didn't know where the studios, like what microphone was going to be there. We didn't know how to edit. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Hi, I'm Kylie. And I'm Elliot. We're hosts of Moody Movie Club, a Snack Labs podcast,

where we talk about the movies we watch and the thoughts and feelings they bring up in us. Our weekly movie picks can span decades, genres, languages, and more. Plus, we keep it totally spoiler-free so that you can find movies to match your moods. So join us every Thursday on our Moody Movie Journey to hear about what we watched that week and the feelings that made us feel. Because... Movies are magic. Because movies are magic. And feelings are too.

So watch more movies. And stay moody, my dudes. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com Like, how to get a jingle. How to put it on Spotify. Yeah no we seriously did not have a clue but i feel like now's a good time to read out some of our oh my god yeah statistics because like we're so shocked like i can't believe like our little idea that we had like a year ago has

turned into such a more than a year ago i swear it's just been ridiculous like a growing podcast so many of you listen to um so we're actually being listened to in 99 countries that's mad 99 different countries imagine that like 99 different countries sorry like i don't even think that like i can't even name 99 different countries no it's crazy like it's fully global um so our podcast was in the five percent of the most shared podcast globally wow fuck top five percent that's mad um we were number two in the charts and instead for how many weeks we held that position for nearly two months fuck that's mad yeah sorry felt bad sorry sorry who are

we i want a high five for that one like come on girl we just slayed that shit and also this one got me we are a top five podcast for nearly 16 000 people wow wow like what oh like I just want to take this opportunity to say thank you so much grab the microphone thank you so much guys thank you for being here tonight no I really am actually you guys who listen yeah and like you know I we appreciate your time like you know you take an hour of your time every week to listen to us chat and ramble literally ramble about sometimes which you know hopefully for the most part interesting and insightful but yeah no we can't thank you guys enough because we will not be here without you and you probably hear that all the time but really

we couldn't say enough i love it and that is my point like we did not know what the f we're doing you don't know where it's going to lead but you just have to start and then you learn and you kind of like google is your best friend like yeah and youtube google like you just have to get going and then you will learn in the journey and you you have to learn and i always kind of think like if someone else out there has done it then what is stopping you exactly that like you go beat them to it yeah there is a blueprint out there for everything that's been done like bloody hell like someone's been on the moon you know like the sky is the limit the sky is the limit no actually the space

is the limit the universe paluto wait no it's the other universe so i saw the tiktok sorry we're blabbing again but i saw the tiktok of all the multi-universes out there i saw that too it blew my freaking mind yeah no it's actually the world is so big i genuinely think there are multiple other humans. Or things. Or things. Yeah. Or aliens.

Yeah. In other. Alive things. Yeah. There's got to be. Oh absolutely. After seeing that TikTok I was like okay. Yeah.

I shouldn't be worrying about this outfit today because come on. Oh my god that's another lesson. Like sometimes you have to realise your problems are really really so small. Trivial. Think about how big the world is. Really. Honest day. Right. anyway let's get back anyway sorry my next one i think we're on number 10 oh god i honestly don't know is is i've already said it in the start of the podcast i've already said it in the start of our podcast um sorry sorry episode i'm really not okay today it sounds like you're drunk already we haven't even gone out yet okay let me let me restart that sentence let me just say it okay i'm just gonna say it

you are still your younger self if you have resentment or any negative energy towards her you are constantly carrying that with you without even knowing so like i said before like me hugging myself it's like i'm so hugging that younger self yeah i need to love her and i'm carrying her with me everywhere i go so i can't hate her you know no i think yeah self-forgiveness forgiveness you have to forgive yourself and no regrets yeah no regrets um okay next one you are a millionaire if you have your health and your strength you always need to prioritize and give time to your mental health as it always gives you a return on investment um and also to add to that you are all so much stronger than you think. And this year really made me realize like how much more mentally strong I am than I thought I was.

Like I got through far more than I ever thought I would be able to. And it has built strength in me and it's made me a more resilient person so I think you know remembering that you can deal with a lot more than you might think yeah you can and also to prioritize your mental health because without that you really aren't you don't have that's so true if you don't prioritize your mental health you've got nothing to support you in life and through life yeah and we we both really like went for that this year with like reaching out to get therapy that's so true sometimes you need to be thrown into the deep end yeah what's the saying like you're either gonna swim or drown sink sink so we'll sink you fucking swam yeah i swam the shit maybe with some armbands but yeah

anyway my next one i don't want number one short but sweet silence is strength if you can sit in silence that is so strong oh in a friendship and or well anything yeah any conversation just silence is actually so loud and great and strong i think silence is needed there was a book that i once read called um like stillness is the key okay i think it's by ryan holiday it's very good yeah um and it was a lot of it talked about like how having those moments of silence and nothingness is one of the most powerful things you can do for your i was about to say this yeah yeah literally so sitting in silence is the hardest thing and that's why it's it leads to strength because you've got to be so strong to sit in silence and in your own thoughts

and with yourself because oh my god God, 99% of the population will not be able to do that. My mom said on the previous podcast, she was like, I can't sit alone, I can't sit. I need to be doing everything, I need to be busy. And that's because she just, there's things that she needs to process, but she hasn't. And there's so many other people in this world,

like, and me myself, I've really honed in on sitting by myself in silence and it's hard but it's honestly made me so strong yeah it gives you so much clarity yeah yeah it does so i love that one on that note i actually want to start getting back into meditation actually yeah but i'm not the type of girl to sit and meditate every morning for like 20 minutes. It would have to be like a five minute guided meditation or like a walking meditation. I'll ease myself in. Okay, next one. All problems have solutions and everything is figureoutable.

Even if you don't find the solution you want right away, just don't give up. Yes. Like, I love that saying, everything is figureoutable. I've also read a book called that by another person, but it's called Everything is Figureoutable and it's such a great book. Really good. And one tip to help you come up with solutions

and something I have done a lot this year after all my ups and downs is when you're struggling with a problem and you don't know what to do and you don't know what to do for a solution write down all the pros and cons and all of the like potential scenarios write it down on paper and it literally helps you see it from like a bird's eye view yeah bird's eye view and then you can like make a much more like like logical rational decision on what you should do i just think sometimes you just that's actually really true yeah i love that i'm definitely a culprit of always like thinking of the worst possible scenario to everything that's where

my anxiety comes in i actually think sometimes if you guys, I know a lot of people suffer with that, like completely over catastrophizing everything and thinking of the worst case scenario. I think sometimes it can actually be quite helpful to write that down because writing it down will make you realize how silly it is and how far fetched that is.

It's literally never gonna happen. And then once you've written it down, you're like, well, it how far fetched that is. It's literally never gonna happen. And then once you've written it down, you're like, well, it's not gonna be that bad. So I'm gonna do that. Journaling, guys, journaling. Write it down. My next one, it's a simple one,

but I need to tell myself this all the time. Stop chasing for a guy. If he likes you, he will make it obvious. I need to stop trying to make guys like me. If they like me, they like me. I think a lot of people need to hear that. Yeah. And it's annoying because if you like a guy and he doesn't like you back,

you're like, oh, for fuck's sake. But there's going to be a guy out there who likes you and you like him and it's going to be match made in heaven in heaven yeah i think you just need to not rush it and just be patient yeah we just we can't like oh there's so many games and like manipulative ways of you know making a guy fall in love with you all this shit that i see on tiktok i'm just like literally that's the most toxic way of doing it and also i'd rather just be my full authentic self yeah from the get-go yeah so then there's no surprises down later down the line and it's just going to be smooth sailing from the start yeah obviously not smooth sailing but it's going to be a lot easier yeah

for sure you have to be yourself like don't get involved in these stupid games yeah it's like year 10 the games are so toxic but people love it people love toxicity god i'm so far removed from like the dating life i just can't relate well it's not fun okay next um oh this is something i really really learned this year if you want to be truly happy you genuinely need to fall in love with your day-to-day boring mundane life and just your everyday routine for sure um and i think one way to do that is to romanticize everything you do um stop living for the weekend stop living friday stop living for holidays or like when someone falls in love with you like stop waiting and wishing your life away because you're wishing for the future and like the future is not really sure because you're living your life right yeah absolutely and if

you're not happy with your current life right now then a lot of that can be changed with your mindset by like reframing how your life is and doing like little small like it can literally be the smallest little tweaks and changes to your life and your mindset to enjoy the daily routine and activities more. Absolutely, because that is your life. That's gonna be your life. So you need to romanticize it. Yeah, you absolutely need to romanticize it.

Your morning routine, for example, like if you don't enjoy it, we'll do things in it to make you love it. Like I love my morning routine. Get up, make a coffee, put a podcast on, like do my makeup. I love it. I love romanticizing my like coffee and walks.

Yeah. You can do it in everything. I love it. Even like reading a book on your sofa, put a candle on. Yeah, diffuser. Make it special. Make every small moment so special like it's

your last yeah i actually watched a film i don't know if you've seen it it's called about time love love that film it's got rachel mccallum quite an old one yeah i love it though it's so good because part of the film like he because he can like travel back and yeah so he would like travel back to the beginning of his day every day and live every single day again, but doing it 10 times better and giving it more passion and gratitude. And I just think we all need to remember,

we have a limited amount of time on this earth. So you need to give every single day your utmost passion and zest for for life and if you're not enjoying your life you just you have the power to change it zest for life juice that lemon well that leads on to my next one which was the smallest memories are the best ones to cherish yes like you need to cherish those small memories because that's what you're going to be wishing to you know relive yeah and like of course like holidays and great trips and stuff are like

incredible and like i i genuinely believe in like experiences over material oh absolutely but you can't just live your life waiting for like those big memories it's the small little things that it's like watching a movie and with your you know your best friend or like getting ready with your friends yeah you know dinner like small thing or just like going for a walk and like appreciating the amazing views yeah i really think because you just don't know when i say morbid but you don't know when the last time is that you're going to see your friend or your family member or whatever so you're going to wish that you did cherish those small memories with them because they're the ones you're going to look back on so I really yeah make sure I do that yeah even us doing this like yeah this is lovely like 20 years on 20 years later we're going to be like I missed that which we you know didn't take that for granted

and i feel like people are so busy go go go with their life like they aren't living in in the moment and like they aren't cherish cherishing the nice little moments of every single day because they're not seeing it they can't yeah they're too busy and preoccupied yeah with other things you know wanting to try again tomorrow or the next day okay this one is all about boundaries um so you are allowed to set boundaries with people you're entitled to your own time you are allowed to say no and you can absolutely live your life how you want to you don't owe anyone an explanation you can stand up to people who push your boundaries and there is nothing wrong with doing that um and if you notice that

people constantly disrupt your boundaries or try to like squash them you will genuinely because you'll lose yourself over time you'll gradually chip away and you will become a submissive lesser insecure weak version of yourself absolutely you'll be living your life for theirs yeah you'll become the an absolute people pleaser and be scared of other people's treading your toes all the time and you you aren't living your life then yeah you need to respect your boundaries and the more need to respect your boundaries and the more you can respect your boundaries, the more other people will appreciate that.

And if people don't appreciate that, they do not deserve to be in your life. Yeah, I definitely, I've got that as well. Speak up, because you have a voice for a reason. And you can't be, yeah, like swung around by other people and what they wanna do and what they want to do and what they have to say and whatever all their opinions you you might have your own opinion yeah which you know is completely valid and whatever you want to do it's for you like yeah if okay say if it does

upset someone else why are they upset like ask yourself why are they upset the fact that you've got a boundary and it's something that you want to do or whatever? Obviously, it's all context dependent, but you just need to think about it. You need to sit down and have a little word with yourself. Yeah, and I think this can apply to so many areas in life. It's like work, relationships with your work colleagues, your partner, your boyfriend your

girlfriend your friends like you're allowed to have boundaries and sometimes you actually just need to have a conversation with that person who might be stepping over your boundaries and tell them like your boundaries are important to you and you're allowed to have your own time you're allowed to say no yeah okay it's kind of similar to the last one we just said um and it's what you quoted in the other another episode the people in your in your life are there for a reason a season or a lifetime let them go if they're no longer making you happy or like if they're in the wrong you know category whatever i've had wait no it's a reason, a season, a lesson, or a lifetime. Or a lesson or a lifetime. Because some people will come into your life and not bring much good at all,

but you'll learn from it. Yeah, sure. So I've had a fair few people come in and come out of my life this year. And sometimes I feel a bit guilty. I'm like, oh, I should probably reach out to them. But again, caught myself saying should. And it's like, well, no. Do you want to oh, I should probably reach out to them, but again, caught myself saying should, and it's like, well, no.

Do you want to? Do I want to reach out to them? Like, if they're meant to be in my life for a period of time, whatever, I wouldn't feel like I have to, it's like a burden to reach out, you know? So it's like, then I look at it and I'm like, well, obviously they were in my life

for whatever period of time, and that was great for that time, but now it's kind of like you know i guess it's naturally gone yeah and that happens it's life and sometimes you feel bad for it but i feel like you just you can't feel bad for things like that when it happens no you can't spread yourself too thin no because you will be you'll end up burnt out yeah and you wouldn't you wouldn't be even be able to like be there for yourself no you you cannot literally please like in your life 20 30 40 people no not even that god no not at all like because i feel like you know we all have like acquaintances

and oh yeah people who we feel like we should reach out to but it's just impossible to like always with it all yeah and the people who care for you will understand that yeah obviously don't neglect your friends no like i even saw my friends so i saw two friends last night who i hadn't seen in so long and they're like primary school friends and like we we had to rearrange a couple of times but i was like obviously the first few times i had to rearrange i was like oh god i feel bad like i'm so busy but i'm like i'm gonna make this happen like it will happen i will see them i saw them last night and it was just the nicest thing ever yeah and i walked away and i was like oh i'm just so happy that i've still got these connections yeah like my old old friends yeah and i feel like

those true connections like the bond never dies no we hadn't seen each other for a year yeah it's like an annual thing now that we meet up every christmas and never ever dies always the same that's what i have with my uni friends yeah shout out caris and cara shout out love you shout out to my uni girls yeah love you um okay next one i think that was my last one so i have two left i guess this is kind of leading on from that. I genuinely believe, and I have learned this year, that you will become like the people you spend the most time with. So you really, really do have to be so selective with your inner circle, friends, family, relationships.

Like if you're around someone who is constantly negative angry hostile pessimistic like you will subconsciously pick up on those behaviors and you will start to act like that even if it is so far from your own inner personality if you're around someone like that all the time like you will become that you will so i think like i would just recommend before going into 2023 to do kind of like a analysis and a reflection of the people you're around the most like it might be work colleagues it might be you know relationship family like whatever but do an analysis and think about like the behaviors and their personalities because they are what you will become like and if that doesn't align to the person you want to become then you need to change it yeah

for sure absolutely i know one person who has a group of friends and all of those friends are very toxic toxic people and it's made that person to a very very toxic person and it's awful it's awful yeah so yeah it's facts it happens um that actually makes me think of something what you just said which isn't one of my lessons but it happened the other day and i want to talk about not feeling like you have to get involved in conversations you don't want to be involved with like i'm referring to bitchiness so relate to this and catty horrible negative conversations about other people i so relate to this i i sorry you go first you go okay so there's a girl that i used to be really really good friends with and we fell out a few years ago um i don't really see her or talk to her anymore like whatever like i wish her the best but we

don't talk anymore um and then this other girl came up to me not that long ago and started like being really quite mean about her and really nasty and i don't know if she thought it was like common ground because she knew she knew we fell out to like kickstart the conversation and like bitch about this girl. But like, I do not want to involve myself in bitchy conversations. Like you don't gain anything from bitching or being horrible about another person behind their back. Like, what are you gaining from that?

Like it's not good energy. And if that boosts your confidence, oh my God, you need to seriously reflect yeah yeah i hadn't had this encounter i went away recently and i um was with yeah a group of people um and it was all very catty conversations awful it made me feel so uncomfortable sitting and i just was silent the whole time because i was like i can't engage in this like it's just so out of character with me yeah i can't and i will walk away from that feeling like really negative and really like like shadow energy on me i don't know i can't

explain it it was just awful i was like and that made me realize like oh my god i'm so lucky to have the friends i have in my life because we don't talk like that talk like that we don't talk about people we don't judge people we don't judge it's such different conversations we actually talk about fun things and engaging topics but that was like oh my god you guys are thriving off this yeah it's literally like they were and you see it charging off it and i mean this is just an extra lesson so it's gonna be 23 lessons but i think it's an important one like you are allowed to reject those conversations walk away not involve yourself and even just stand up yeah in those situations and

say like i'm sorry i'll call them out i don't want to have that conversation as soon as you call them out they'll be like oh god they'll really question themselves yeah um okay my final one your final one so i guess like you know everyone talks about like finding a purpose in life um but like not everyone knows what their purpose is and also not everyone can make their purpose their career or like make their purpose like fit into what they do every single day um so i was like really really thinking about like my purpose and i do genuinely think like i do that every day but i think you can get the most purpose out of life if you just live to help other people be kind serve people do your best to make other people smile and i know that sounds so like oh well no but genuinely you will feel so fulfilled if every single day you're doing

something that is like even just putting a smile on someone else's face or motivating them or helping them or helping them like become a better of themselves, even if it's not directly helping you, you're gonna feel more fulfilled and that is going to give you purpose. I had a conversation with a girl yesterday who paid, voluntarily out of nowhere, just paid for this woman and her child's shopping, food shopping, and she was like,

"'Go get anything you want.' It came to like 300 pounds, the bill, but she did that that and I was like, God, I want to do that. Like honestly, you'd walk away and you'd be like, oh my God, I feel like I am the happiest girl on this earth right now because you've just helped someone. And like seeing their reaction is the most fitting thing. And that is purpose. Like everyone's seeking for their, you know,

what is my purpose on earth? Like just stop thinking about it and just do things that are gonna make other people feel better and happier because it will charge you in such a great way. Like compliment people, like, I don't know, just walk past, say hi. Yeah.

You know, that's lovely. It can make someone say, buy someone a coffee, whatever. Do you know what your purpose is? In like life? In life, like, or do you know? I purpose is in like like in life like or do you know i do no i generally think so i've always always thought this is before i was even doing this even like when i was a kid i've always i just want to help people so that's like charitable work whatever i just wanted to help and i don't know what i'm gonna do with that i don't know how but i just knew that that was like it's like an inner knowing i just knew that i needed to

do that in my life and now here i am so yeah helping people i wanted to help that that was like an inner knowing. I just knew that I needed to do that in my life. And now here I am. So yeah, helping people. I wanted to help like, I was like people or animals or both. Yeah. I guess I'm helping animals by like not eating them. So yeah.

Is that your, what was your purpose? I mean, yeah, I guess that, but also I feel like mine is definitely motivating people. Like I love like really trying to motivate people and make people realize like how great they are and how they just need a bit of self-belief and confidence. And I guess with like clients, but also like my friends, my family, helping them realize their potential and boost them up to like what their potential is. Like a motivational speaker. Not really. I don't think I'm that level. We'll just stick to Royal Guards Radio.

But I don't find it coincidental that we're both sitting here with the careers that we've got and those were our like intentions and purposes. I don't think that's coincidental. Yeah. Because like, you know, we made ourselves get to that stage. Yeah. By doing whatever we did in our lives. For sure.

Yeah. Love it. And I'm grateful for it.'m so grateful i feel really fulfilled i'm grateful for you guys listening we love you should do our quotes let's do our quotes my quote is to everything i've ever lost thank you for setting me free oh yeah that's lovely it's a nice way of looking at it yeah thank you for setting me free you know i can see that's resonating with you it resonates yeah hitting you in the heart that um okay mine i actually feel like i said this in the podcast it must have just the quote okay my head um stop waiting for friday stop waiting for next summer. Stop waiting for people to fall in love with you. Happiness is achieved when you stop waiting for it

and make the most of the moment and the incredible life you're living right now. Right now. Right now. Right this second. Loving it. We're actually going out for dinner now. We are.

I'm so excited because me and Millie. We never have a catch up. We like have a catch up on air, but then we like have other stuff to talk about. Yeah. Off air. We're like, can't,

got work to do. Bye. Yeah, we're literally like, okay, nice to see you. See you next week. Oh,

go, go, go. But we're actually, we're going out for dinner. Lovely sushi. The Ivy. Is it sushi?

Ivy Asia. Ivy Asia. I'm never in. Yeah. Always wanted to go. You're looking more dressed than I am, but we'll work with that. I've got my stupid cut in my leg.

Anyway, we love you guys. Thank you so much for listening. Love you so much. Will this be the last episode before Christmas? No. Oh, I don't know. But also, guys, make sure you're watching on YouTube. I'm putting these on YouTube.

Okay, love you. Bye. Bye.