Real Girls Radio - EP 4: BBID - Bad Body Image Days

Episode Date: April 4, 2022

grab some snacks and chillax whilst we chat ABOUT...BAD BODY IMAGE DAYS. We all get them, even the Kardashians. Milly and Emma talk through our top tips on how we overcome our bad body image days. Emma also uncovers some GOSSIP and some crazy stories she's experienced through recently...Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/e-1-the-unheard-truth-of-millys-journey. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Love this podcast? Support this show through the Acast Supporter feature. It's up to you how much you give and there's no regular commitment. Just hit the link in the show description to support now. Woman! I'm raring to go. Oh no, I'm ready. Yeah, she's ready yeah she's ready i'm ready hey guys wow welcome back to real girls radio number two on the charts i literally cannot believe it thank you so so much words can't describe to everyone who has shared and reviewed rated if we just keep these rings going we can get us number one easily me and millie were on the phone to each other the other day like no we were shocked we were actually shocked someone playing a prank on us i filmed my

reaction and my mouth was open for a good like three minutes just staring into distance like what on earth i know like even some of the podcasts that i've been listening to for years yeah like we're above crazy anyway so today's episode is gonna be all about body image and self-love and you know trying to navigate around those bad boy image days because we all get them don't we and how to stop being so self-deprecating because even me myself and i know you do it and to be honest most girls are just so extremely self-deprecating and it's almost like the norm to be self-deprecating rather than it is lift yourself up and think about the good things you love about yourself how are you anyway have you been good yeah i've been a while no you've been going through some shit i have i really have

you do you want to share anything with the listeners i mean we obviously had the barcelona situation yes so you guys heard about that one and then it was like the week after that wasn't it something else happened yeah the um hotel situation anyway the most recent one yeah that was friday actually i don't know if i told you about this yeah yeah the tesco thing yeah the tesco thing so i was just walking around covent garden minding my own business and i felt like someone was following me you felt like yeah i i felt like he was following me it's weird how we have that sense don't we yeah so i looked around and dodgy looking guy yeah and i just kept walking was he old no he was probably like 30 so was like, you can see him watching you.

Yeah, yeah. Oh my gosh. Went into a few shops, came out and he was still there. So I walked towards Tesco and just stood outside, called my boyfriend and I was like, what do you think I should do? Because there's a guy following me. He's definitely following me. So he was like following you in shops and like...

And like waiting outside the shops for me. And like, was he keeping his distance or was he like... He was getting closer and closer. And like he'd go in front of me and then come back over oh my god no no no it was getting really obvious and then i was stood outside tesco called my boyfriend to say like what you think i should do and as i was on the phone to him the security guard in tesco came out and was like can you come in with me because there's a guy following you thank god that he noticed that he must be watching you as well so i went into the back and he was like do you want to just wait in the back of tesco i was in the back for about an hour oh my god what so what did they do during that time were they like

escorting him away like how did they get him away they didn't actually do anything apparently he was waiting outside for half an hour oh what the fuck i know no because like what if that guy wasn't there like anything could have happened i knew like he was planning what he was wanting to do in that situation like what should you do what would you do so what i do is i pretend that i've like i don't know i get my house keys out and i pretend that i'm about to go my house even though it's not my house and i walk up to some stranger's door but then like if they are still there i know i haven't been in a situation before i really don't know i actually had no i didn't know whether to just get in a taxi or something and just go somewhere random yeah maybe you actually yeah i'd probably do that but you did you did the good

thing and you went into a shop it's just scary it is scary isn't it scary place like common garden that's a very you know popular place lots of people there like you would think i don't know that's just really sad and it's daylight as well wasn't it yeah broad daylight man so you're safe though you're safe now yeah yeah you haven't been having much luck recently have you i actually had a really i mean it's gonna be in my flop should we go around to the flop and fly we were gonna save our flop and fly for the next episode but do you know what do you know what let's just be crazy let's just go wild go on give us your okay i can't resist so my flop so went bright in this weekend past weekend i loved it like you had the best time the most wholesome day or night ever it was just really nice spent like lots of time with like my

home friends it was great but anna's probably listening to this she um so anna messaged me my housemate and she was like i've got something really bad to tell you like something bad happened last night and i was like what on earth i was thinking of anything she messaged me that she said the flat was flooded so she flooded the whole flat and i was thinking no anything she messaged me that she said the flat was flooded so she flooded the whole flat and i was thinking no no no there's like my laptop's on the floor like everything's gonna be ruined like all my clothes oh my god i came back and thankfully like the majority of it was all cleaned up but she showed me videos and stuff and it was generally like a lake in our in our house how did this happen what oh yeah so what did anna do one night i

left anna by herself she was watching tv went to toilet went back to watch tv for an hour nearly fell asleep then someone knocked on the door and they were like i think like your flat is like there's water coming out of your flat because it's going in like the main corridor lobby bit so you can just imagine how much water there was and then she she realized she left the tap on when she washed her hands so she left the tap on sink was blocked and it just overfilled everywhere like in all the rooms and genuinely like it's only until this morning the guy came over who like got his hoover thing and he kind of sucked all the water up and stuff but it stinks like it absolutely stinks how long did she leave the tap on for it was only an hour but imagine all that

water oh it's so bad sounds a really bad flop i also saw this is complete change the topic but i also saw when you're in brighton some like cow situation going oh yeah that's funny yeah they just mounted each other but they're both like female cows so they must be quite horny i don't know it was two females unless they were lesbians i don't know i don't know if that's possible in animals i actually don't know it could be um so yeah that was funny anyway my fly isn't my fly yeah oh no yeah so sorry so the the main so that was a flop but also to add to that flop a double flop the guy who came to clean the carpet i am i just had to take some lounge underwear pictures before and i love my lounge i love my underwear on the floor not thinking he

was going to go into the whole room you just need to do a little section like at the front of my room he went into the whole room i came back when he had left and obviously like my underwear was on my bed and i was like fuck he's picked up my underwear he's probably thought like these are probably dirty when they weren't dirty at all but like i was just thinking oh i can't believe like he was like an old man and i was like i can't believe you see my underwear on that note has any anyone ever seen you take your underwear pics i'd like to think they haven't do you like check outside i do but like i i'm not gonna lie i'm so rogue and i'm just like we don't have curtains we took our curtains down i don't yeah i think people definitely definitely can see through and also anna was sent a video of a follower who saw our flat it was a

video of our flat outside so they're like obviously in a building opposite that i'm like oh my god that's kind of weird because like they must be like looking in seeing what we're doing i mean i have gone to the kitchen naked sometimes like just to grab something i'm thinking they've probably seen me i bet like there's so many people who have like seen you naked without yeah yeah yeah yeah people say like everyone has a neighbor who's always naked or something like i am that neighbor oh yeah i am that person me too anyway what's your well what's your fly oh my fly my fly is what was my fly oh yes my fly okay so it's kind of a flop but it turned to a fly okay so i had a really awful night the other night and i remember when i sent you those voice notes i was like sobbing yeah really really awful

night guys um i'm sure we'll get into it in another episode but it was really awful but i journaled and i was like on my laptop and i was writing like loads of stuff everything like all my thoughts down and i uncovered so many things so many things that make so much sense now and it really helped me understand why i was feeling the way i was feeling and that was a fly for me it was just like a revelation revelation revelation so i saw the positive in that a good old brain dump it's really a brain yeah it's good i bloody love doing it yeah i really recommend people to do that i actually do you prefer to do it on your laptop i i do because i'm just like i like to write no because when i'm writing my brain thinks faster than my my hand so you're like i can't keep up so i definitely prefer typing oh yeah well my flop i

mean kind of leading on similar to the barcelona situation the weird creepy guy it's just like unfortunate events happening in my life right now i can't go into too much detail for legal reasons for legal reasons but a couple of weeks ago my boyfriend and i stayed in a hotel which is close by to where he needs to be for work purposes because he works in like the watch and jewelry industry so we're staying in a nice hotel which you know in our minds is a very safe secure place to stay um and we were there for a couple of days we put all of our stuff into the safe as you'd normally do as anyone does and we popped out to nando's for literally like two hours came back and then we obviously didn't check in the safe because we were just going to go to bed and we got up on friday to leave and pack all our stuff and go home open the safe and everything was gone

i can't believe that so the safe was closed we locked in everything and then so whoever had stolen it they closed it again yeah how did they know the password well yeah the thing is every single hotel is gonna have like a right security code so that people can get into it if people don't remember god but like so basically it was a lot of his watches all of my jewelry so many like and like you know it's sentimental it's not just like the value of it like a sentimental special jewelry that was just stolen um i felt so violated so upset and it was just the worst situation like he lost a lot of stuff and so the police had come and they, like, cornered off our room.

And there were forensics inside. Taking fingerprints and, like, you know, doing all their forensic stuff. And I actually called you, didn't I? Yeah. You were very, like, fresh and raw, your emotions. So it was just an awful day. It's been an awful couple of weeks because of this, to be honest. But we are going to take them to court.

Yes, you're going to fucking get those. Yeah, we're going to get this back. Because they're liable. They're liable. Oh yeah, I haven't even explained the story. What? They had on CCTV someone from housekeeping. Have I not told you this yet?

Wait, right. Someone from housekeeping who had worked at the hotel for two weeks oh yeah you did something else they got on cctv her going into our room three times oh my god and one point she was in our room for 25 minutes oh no i i actually hate that thought i'm sorry and then she left the room and they actually have cctv evidence of her running out of the building leaving her hand bag oh yeah stupid she's so stupid to do that and there's like there's literally cctv of her down the street running and a pocket like full and like chains and the police can't find her so she she's like escaped she's probably left the uk she's fled she's fled she's gone no they're gonna get her they're gonna get her they will track her down

in my eyes we are staying in a hotel who we trust their security is going to be you know top notch yeah and you're paying for the security yeah yeah and one of their members of staff, they have decided to hire and bring into their team to represent their brand, have gone into our personal belongings and stolen everything. So they're liable. Yeah, for sure. So we're taking them to court. Yeah, definitely. So I will let you guys know the outcome of that.

Yeah, we'll keep you updated. Well, I mean, I'm never going to get my rings back, which is sad. Yeah, that's sad. And it's not even like you weren't being safe. No, we've been in a bloody safe so yeah anyway um also i just quick note i did get my lumilite guys oh yeah it's good but i don't have curtains in my room so i already have a natural lumilite do you know what i mean i think i need to get a new one i think i need to get another one because i want to be woken up by goats and stuff

yeah you said your one doesn't have to sound see guys mine i can pick to be woken up by like pretty birds singing or go i want that so anyway yeah sorry quick diversion there but i will keep your date on that one i will be getting a new one anyway bad boomers day i haven't given my you just want to hear all the negative shit going on in my life well i don't really have anything particular but i know i went to a workout class the other day one rebel oh yeah i love that it's a have you done one of those classes before see i never really do workout classes i just follow my training plan but it was really fun and i loved it and it was like a full body yeah yeah with like

music and lights. Sometimes it's nice to just spice it up a bit, you know? And I actually really like sprinting, like treadmill sprints. Oh, God. And I spent the day with my sister. And it was just like really cute. That's a really nice fly. A cute, wholesome day.

Yeah, wholesome. That's what we want. Is that? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, that's my thing. Anyway, let's get into the topic of today's episode, which is all about body confidence, how to be more body positive, how to stop being self-deprecating, and I guess our best tips on how to overcome

that. I get a lot of these bad body image days still. They have been cruel to you. Saying things they don't mean. They have been rude to you. Disrespect how you feel, but baby I'll never do you yeah i do i do i think i don't know if it's because i'm like my body isn't really new anymore but it still seems like the other day i tried on some new um like holiday bits i haven't been on holiday since gaining weight

have you no i haven't so um this is like again a new thing to overcome and i tried on some new holiday bits and i just on some new holiday bits and i just like i was like oh i don't my legs in this i was like i was really picking at things and i caught myself doing it i was like no amelia shut up but yeah that did trigger like some bad thoughts which was annoying because it's like i i've come so far why does like trying on a little mini skirt have to you know make me feel self-conscious again but it doesn't i'm i'm putting my foot down so um you just need to go buy yourself some new clothes that's what i was doing yeah but then i didn't look i didn't feel like i look nice in them yeah yeah yeah but you know what it is i think it's

because the brands you know they still use very like small petite models and when you're buying the clothes i don't know about you but i kind of just envision it to look like that on me exactly but it just doesn't yeah it just doesn't and this is why i hate ordering clothes online yeah i just i do so much though i don't want to say many things online but yeah so um i do still get them and like you know even around my period i get them a lot i have to remember that it is literally hormones and i think for so long with me like i never felt good enough so i was just searching for things that confirmed that and you know like confirmed that i wasn't good enough so I was just searching for things that confirmed that and you know like confirmed that I wasn't good enough so I had so many more bad body image days because

I was like looking at my body and I was searching for things to not like to confirm the fact that I wasn't good enough you know what I mean yeah no I completely so yeah gaining weight and stuff it's come with confidence and that has those bad body image days have lessened but again like I say they come and go all the time how how frequently would you say you have a bad body image days have lessened but again like i say they come and go all the time how how frequently would you say you have a bad body image day oh i would say like maybe once a week twice a week yeah and i think a lot of girls think that people on social media or like fitness coaches never get bad body image days and just like walk around feeling super confident every day but that really is not the case i don't think there is anyone actually no in the world who wakes up every day thinking damn i look great i mean there probably are people and they're probably

so confident in their bodies they probably aren't even on social media do you know what i mean yeah they're probably people that don't even compare themselves to other people on social media because they don't have it yeah this is true and that's one of the points that we're gonna go into is you know comparing yourself on social media oh god it's so hard not to do as well it's like us as humans we we are just i don't know we're programmed to do that i guess it's maybe like i don't know if it's like an evolution reason behind that we compare ourselves to like try and be the best like do you know what i mean we try but then men would also do that too do you not think men i think men do do that but they just don't talk about it yeah i think there's this

like perception that men they're like these they're bodybuilders they can eat chicken and rice and like they still don't care what they look like do you know what i mean or like they don't care what anyone else thinks of them but i think they do i think men are very insecure but it's like um bigorexia have you heard of that no yeah this is something a guy once told me about he was like yeah a lot of i know a lot of girls you know struggle with like orthorexia anorexia guys have bigger eczema and it's where they feel like they're not big enough and they want to be bigger and they're comparing themselves to like guys who are like stuck they think they're skinny they think they're

teeny tiny and it's like they're really not that's just the same problem that we have but opposite the flip opposite yeah but then also no one thinks that guys have that everyone just you know focuses on girls and how like girls have all these thoughts but that's really interesting to hear do you get bad when you're bad ii-i that's what i'm gonna say b-i-i-i bad no b-i-i-i-i-i bad body image no oh my god what's wrong with us b-b-i-d b-b-i-d b-b-i-d i always get b-b-i-d's really no i do i would say well not always like maybe once or twice a week like you but what you just mentioned when you're due on your period that is for me when it is really bad yeah really loud because you know bloating like it happens oh yeah your body can massively fluctuate in weight and size like water retention all of that

and it can make your body look really quite different but you have to just realize like it is a normal part of being a female and it's gonna happen to you every single month but you have to just realize like it is a normal part of being a female and it's gonna happen to you every single month so you need to accept that your body is gonna change it's not a permanent thing no that's what i think that's what a lot of people think yeah because in the moment in the moment you think oh no like my body looks completely different like i don't like what i see in the mirror and i know from clients, a lot of girls like want to then flip and do something extreme and cut their calories. That was literally me.

Yeah, but you just have to remember, it's a temporary thing. It's almost like masking your body. In that moment, it's so hard to convince yourself that it is temporary. Because what you see in the mirror is your body at the end of the day. And you think that, you know,

it's going to look like that forever. And obviously it's not like we've just said, but I don't know how you can convince yourself that my best tips for like when you're struggling with bad body image when you're during your period my go-to thing is wear like a baggy t-shirt baggy jumper to the gym it's actually really empowering you feel badass and just you know go to lift yeah yeah i agree with that also i just don't look in the mirror i know that looking in the mirror it's not going to make me think anything better. It's not going to make me happier.

Because I don't know about anyone else, but I used to say, look in the mirror every morning. I would judge how my body looked that day. It would be good or bad and say it would be bad one day. And then for the rest of the day, I'd be like, oh, I look really bad, look really bad. And then I'd check in every mirror or every reflection to see if it still looked bad. Oh my God. And I, there are times i was still looking at obviously and then it would actually be getting worse because i'm eating food as well so i don't know why i thought in my head that yeah maybe an hour later it'll look better do you know what i mean i'm just constantly confirming

that i am having a bad body image day in my head and it just got worse and worse and worse the best tip is just to not even start that cycle of looking in the mirror yeah from as soon as you wake up so wear baggy top baggy jumper don't look in the mirror what else would you do when you're during your period to help what else would i do i would journal journal's always great you're finding patterns there yeah also some more like practical things you can do to help with this is yoga yeah but also like make sure you're drinking plenty of water because a lot of the time water retention if you're not drinking enough water like that's just gonna get worse so make sure you're staying hydrated even eating like diuretic rich foods like asparagus tomatoes that can actually help with the actual water retention

which might make you feel a little bit better yeah just don't cut out any food don't go like okay i need to you know restrict those today yeah that's not gonna help and actually when you're due on your period in the luteal phase your body actually burns on average 150 calories more from your hormones like constantly fluctuating so if anything you should be doing the opposite and actually eating a little bit more that week rather than you know having a bad body image and that is why you're hungrier yeah like it's literally just listening to your body like if you are if you are hungry like i'm definitely due on any day now it's a lot harder for me to be

satisfied and that's obviously why because like your body is just doing the harder work baggy clothes i think baggy clothes don't look at mirrors and drink more water and do some yoga maybe go on a walk you know just do some self-love stuff yeah we all get them yeah definitely promise also not spending too much time on social media emma's got some tips to share which i think are really really really useful when we have bad body image days so one thing that i always do when i'm having a bad body image day because you know when we do have these bad body image days we tend to critique ourselves and tear ourselves apart and say horrible things to ourselves in the mirror as much as i i've worked on that a lot and i don't really do that now i will stop myself and replace like a negative

thought of a positive thought but you know it sometimes still happens it still happens one really good thing to do is to imagine those horrible things that you're saying to yourself or like thinking in your head imagine saying that to you when you are a little girl or imagine saying that to your friend or your your sister like you would never do that you would never look at your friend and say oh you look fat yeah you oh you your your face your skin looks bad absolutely oh your hair looks awful you'd never ever talk and there's no reason for you to say that to yourself either so yeah and you you should love yourself and appreciate yourself so you should never say those horrible things to your to your own body like that has really helped me to think about you know imagine yourself as like the little baby you like you would not talk to them like that and also i

think like when it comes to bad body image days we think like other people must think i'm you know fat or whatever like whatever insecurity that you have you think other people must think that as well but say if there were people who did think whatever you're thinking they are only insecure in themselves and they're searching for those insecurities in themselves in other people to just try and validate themselves so it's got nothing to do with you it is literally their insecurities and you'll be doing the same as well so if i'm i don't know insecure about my lips when i was like younger before i got lip filler um i would look at everyone else's lip and be like oh their lips are bigger or like you know like you just constantly put your insecurities onto other people and that just shows that like whatever it is that other people are thinking if they are

judging you in whatever way it's all to do with them it's nothing to do with you if that does happen during bad body image days and stuff like just remind yourself that and the people who you should care about and their opinions are never gonna think that of you yes like exactly that your friends and family boyfriends and whatever aren't gonna care if you're carrying like a few extra pounds or like if you are having a bad hair day or something and no matter how much you convince yourself that they do they honestly don't that you gotta as well remember like do you actually think about that about your friend or your mum you know you just love them you literally yeah you do you like you generally look at them as a whole person and like you judge them of their personality and like memories that you make together and nothing to do with their appearance and also that's another

thing like when we look in the mirror and have a bad body image day we're just seeing that reflection yeah we're not thinking about all the internal amazing things about ourselves. Yeah, we're not. We're so narrow-minded with it. We're very focused on one little tiny thing. And one thing that I have recommended to my clients, which I see other guys doing on social media as well, which is really cute,

is little post-it notes of nice comments and nice things. They're cute on the mirrors. On the mirrors. Yeah, I love that. Because that's where you're most likely to stand and self-deprecate. If you've got like post-it notes and stuff, all the things you do love about yourself and just like happy, positive thoughts, it's going to remind you to stop the self-deprecation. Also, when you look at yourself in the mirror, you're looking at yourself for, you know,

quite a while, not seconds. Whereas in person, people are literally looking at you for seconds. And then they like, you know, they do something else. Are they talking or making a conversation? There's no one on this earth who stares at you for as long as you stare at yourself in the mirror. You're just, you know, giving yourself time to pick at everything that you can find. Oh my God, yeah. That's so true.

Like the other day, I had a spot on my face. And I honestly left the house thinking, oh Jesus, everyone's going to be looking at it because it's like a mountain. No! That's not my point. That's not my point. Because I actually said to my friend, I was like, like oh my god excuse the massive mountain on my face and she was like what i can't even see it and like i can't see no spot on your face oh my god i can't see it and are you thinking in your head yeah i'm thinking you're looking at it all the time this is the thing guys like your insecurities are all in your head like no one else is noticing no it's so wrapped up in your head but talking

about other people this kind of leads on nicely to my next tip yeah or point when it comes to being more body confident and loving yourself and stopping the self-deprecation it is to unfriend and unfollow anyone who makes you feel shit about yourself absolutely this is such a good tip because i did this during my waking journey like i would compare myself to you know people who are smaller than me who had abs i wanted and i as soon as i unfollowed them it was like a big weight had lifted off my shoulders i was like wait if i'm not seeing that on my home page every day then like i actually am not reminded that i don't have it so i'm actually fine yeah you know and it's like adjusting that echo chamber it's called an echo chamber so obviously the people that you see and the people

you have and everything that you have in your echo chamber you want to reflect that as a person as well so if you're having all these toxic people in your echo chamber you're just going to be intoxicated intoxicated and another point as well like that's a really good thing that you mentioned you're also surrounding yourself with people who are negative and toxic and self-deprecating about their selves that's also going to have an impact on you and rub off on how you feel about yourself yes because you are the average of the five people you spend most time with absolutely so if those five people are always bringing their selves down you're going to start doing that too yeah so true but one thing that i really want to mention here is it's

not necessarily just regarding boyfriends and guys and dating also like girls and stuff but if you have anyone in your life who is almost it's excavating your negative thoughts about yourself or bringing you down or you know making horrible little comments and stuff you know people who bring you down to lift them up yeah those sorts of people you need to get rid of them this happened to one of my best friends she has actually had a really unfortunate series of dating don't because it really really affects your confidence like it really really gets into your head and i've seen it happen to her she's fine now she's loving herself she's back you know feeling good but she did go for a phase due to horrible men where her self-confidence just dropped and what did

they say okay so there were a few just absolutely awful comments that i can't even even came out of their their mouth to her the bum hole came out of their ass so talking shit yeah literally one of them okay i don't even know where to start one of them um told her that she needs to stop dressing like her 23 year old friends and um no she should never wear crop tops and that he cannot oh my god he went to house he said i cannot bear to look at your crop tops they're making me feel physically sick and he was like disgusting it's like you cannot wear crop tops and then he also said that um well another guy said to her when she sent her check-in pictures he goes oh chunky chunky oh chunky you know what actually i got a bloody comment on my picture the other day saying like oh you're looking a bit bulky or something i hate those words chunky bulky i i just chunky and bulky that's disgusting

sorry if you're a guy you don't you don't say to a girl you're looking chunky and then she was saying how she wants to drop around four kilos for a cut she's doing for the summer and he was like oh yeah you'll look much better when you drop four kilos oh see the thing is like he doesn't even realize that these are really bad comments that he's making because these comments one comment one word literally no matter how irrelevant that person is in your life that can stay in your head for so many years it's happened to me and like it's hard to get it out of your head and out your system so that is actually disgusting that he's saying that yeah the guy who i mentioned before also said to her that she has like okay glutes

and hamstrings but she really needs to work on her quads i'm sorry like sorry do these guys they have like the perfect no no that's the funny thing but they don't even if they did like what gives you the right yeah on a girl especially if you're dating her for god's sake her body and how she looks anyway all of this happening was making me feel so angry but i just wanted to call them up and be like hey what do you think like what's your problem this actually did have a knock-on effect of her like on her because obviously if you have guys saying these horrible things to you it's gonna affect your self-confidence and it really did so we've cut them out she's cut them out her life got rid and her confidence is coming back so my point here

if you do have any situation like this where guys be mean to you or you know even if it's friends trying to boost their self or making like little digs and comments about your insecurities you need to cut them out i also want to mention about compliments as well because it's kind of the same with compliments obviously you know you feel a lot more confident when people are complimenting you about whatever when i was underway oh god i'd be getting so many compliments about you know how amazing they look blah blah blah they just confirmed that okay my value is around my abs it made me think okay i need to keep these abs because if i lose these abs then i'll stop getting compliments from people and obviously i base my confidence and worth and everything from compliments and that shouldn't

be the case if you are focusing your value and your worth and your confidence from either compliments or insults then you need to really see and appreciate what your opinion is about yourself and you can't so hard but you just can't be affected by either or you can't be affected by them compliments like great yeah you know our ego can be abusive with compliments but just don't fixate on them at the end of the day it's people's opinions exactly it's not truth yeah it's not factual yeah no it's not so really take note of that yeah so get rid of toxic people another thing kind of on that note obviously we've already touched on it but i'm following people on the social media and actively like go through who you're following like go like do it now right now look who you're following on instagram

and tiktok and tiktok youtube whatever and if any of these people are making you feel shit about yourself or making you question your self-worth or how you look there's no value in following them you know there's lots of accounts out there who are providing value and help and also there's that feature that you can like mute them so if they are a friend as well or like you know if there's someone that you know have some sort of loyalty to and you have to kind of follow them for whatever reason just mute them and then you just don't see it just utilize those features have you done that on your i have yeah i have see i definitely need to do that you should do that my instagram is weird i

barely see anyone's posts i really scroll so i don't actually see anyone no all i'm noticing on instagram at the moment is ads oh really, really? Yeah, it's really... And we touched on this in the last episode, but it is just so important to love and appreciate your body at all stages, no matter what goal is going on or what stage you're at in your fitness journey. Because you have to remember that your body right now and who you are right now is the driving force.

The vessel. And the vessel to take you to where you want to remember that your body right now and who you are right now is the driving force. The vessel. And the vessel to take you to where you want to be. If you're on a fat loss journey or a weight gain journey or whatever, if you're not feeling great about yourself right now, you have to remember that you right now is what is taking you to get to where you want to be. So you have to appreciate who you are right now. Because also that will then inevitably, if you don't, that will inevitably lead to dissatisfaction. So you're still going to get to the UN goal and you're still not going to be satisfied because

you were never satisfied at the start do you know what i mean yeah right so that's that give us a quote oh my god my quote i actually really like my quote this week so my quote is fear tricks us into living a boring life you have to get out of your comfort zone yeah we it's kind of this like loss aversion thing which we can talk about in other episodes but we would rather do something and be in our comfort zone to avoid fear of whatever it is like to avoid risking anything else like we just avoid fear at all costs this is so yeah like we would much rather stay in our comfort zone and risk maybe other things like boring lives or you know like wasting 10 years of being in a relationship because you're just fearful of the unknown i know a term for this is correct me if i'm wrong guys i think it's the sunk cost fallacy oh yes yes yes yes yes i did this in psychology did you yeah and am i right

is it's where you will maintain doing something even if it's not making you happy or if it's not helping you progress just because of the amount of time you've already invested in that that's exactly it so for example if you are in a marriage yeah and you've been married for 10 years 10 years and you really aren't happy and you feel like there's more for you outside of that marriage and you know you're really considering breaking away and getting a divorce but you don't because you're like well i've already invested 10 years exactly yeah you're like a waste of 10 years of time so i might as well stay there same with like a client actually came to me she worked with another pt for 10 years no eight years it was eight years and she didn't have any good results she wasn't seeing any change after eight years but she kept staying with that pt

because of the eight years of her life already put into it but that's the thing if you stay in that you're still wasting those more like more and more years aren't you you might as well break it now yeah to flourish and jump into the unknown yeah and the unknown and risk you know like it is risky but that risk is a lot less than staying in your comfort zone yeah and that's kind of like you know in a way what we've done with our podcast yeah yeah because it is scary yeah go into a new venture or do something you've never done you know it's an investment as well and we think oh what if we you know lose money whatever but and we've never done this before like it could have completely flopped but it's flown but it's flying thanks to you guys um yeah what's your quote okay right anyway my quote is kind of to do

with like the body image yeah i actually saw it on pinterest the other day and saved it so true no one is going to be at your funeral and stand up and say oh yeah she had a teeny waist a great thigh gap and a popping beach like no one's gonna say that at your funeral so we need to stop dictating to ourselves that our life and our worthiness is based on how we look and how small our waist is and our legacy is going to be based on what we look because it's not our legacy is not based at all on how we look it's who we are as a person maybe if you're marilyn monroe but you know that's that's the olden days but no it is true it's so true it's so true so next time you're you're putting your self-worth

and how good you are as a person into your looks you need to remember that it's actually the opposite people are going to remember you for you and all of the internal all the memories you make things that you bring as an individual we love that well on that note we're gonna leave you to get on with your days and you're gonna you know flourish and do some amazing things in your day get out of your comfort zone get out of your comfort zone do something this week that is out your comfort zone yeah that scares you scares the shit out of you anyway hope you guys enjoyed the video. The video? You do that every time. I hope you guys enjoyed the podcast. Please, please, please leave reviews.

You know, share, whatever. Share. Let us know what you think. Let's get this to number one. Yes. Oh, number 14 in the UK, so that's... Madness. Thank you so much, guys.

Love you. We'll see you in the next one. Bye. Bye.