Real Time with Bill Maher - Bonus Bill – Ep. #424
Episode Date: May 8, 2017Listen in on the jokes only Bill’s audience got to hear. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices...
Transcript
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Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO late-night series, Real Time with Bill Ma.
They are halfway home to repealing Obamacare.
They finally did it.
They failed in March.
They came back today, these fuckers.
And the House voted to repeal Obamacare.
It cuts a trillion dollars for health care for poor and middle-class people while cutting taxes for the richest 2% by the same amount.
When Trump ran, he said to the people, I will be your voice.
And what that voice is saying is suckers.
Suckers.
Yes.
Turns out there is still one pre-existing condition it covers.
Greed.
Now, before the vote,
before the vote, listen to this,
the Republicans pumped themselves up by playing the theme from Rocky.
And I hope it turns out like Rocky,
was about an idiot white guy who tries to take something away from a black guy but fails.
And this repeal bill, they didn't even wait to get an estimate about what it would cost
or how many people would lose their coverage. They didn't want to know. They didn't want
us to know. Why didn't they just vote in hoods? I'm sure Jeff Sessions has a few lying around.
But so funny, Trump, such a master of distraction, right?
all week. He's going mentally insane.
Not like he does in every week, but...
He gave an interview where he
said, no one asks what caused the
Civil War.
But Trump knows. Trump knows it was
caused by Andrew Jackson not having a time
machine. That's right. Andrew
Jackson.
Andrew Jackson could have
prevented the Civil War except for Obama
wiretapped him. And that fucked
the whole thing out.
Now, I guess the Civil War wasn't part of
the corrupt curriculum at Trump University.
so he never learned this
and he said this he gave an interview on satellite radio
on the you can't be fucking serious X-M
No I mean this week was special for Trump
this week it seemed like people were asking the question
what would happen if a child's brain had dementia
Yeah my favorite is you know
Kim Jong-un of Korea
At the beginning of the week
makes a video of nuclear bombs blowing up the White House
Two days later, Trump, I'd be honored to meet him.
Honored, I'd be honored to.
He said, he's a smart cookie, a smart cookie.
And everyone in North Korea said, what's a cookie?
It's a smart cookie.
But I guess he has a lot in common with Kim.
I mean, they both took over their dad's business at a young age,
and they both became very successful,
despite speaking very little English.
So, but it was National Day of Prayer today,
and they had a ceremony at the White House,
and Trump pointed to Jesus crucified on the cross
and said, Andrew Jackson would never have let it happen.
And I'm sure you saw that the head of the FBI, James Comey,
testified before Congress about the election.
He said he treated Hillary and Trump equally.
Yeah, right.
For her, he released damaging information 11 days before the election,
which turned out to be nothing.
For Trump, he concealed evidence about colluding with Russia
to steal the American presidency.
You know, when an airline beats the shit out of you, at least they apologize.
All right, thank you very much.
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