Real Time with Bill Maher - Bonus Bill – Ep. #428
Episode Date: June 13, 2017Listen in on the jokes only Bill’s audience got to hear. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Welcome to an HBO
podcast from the HBO
Late Night series, Real Time with Bill Ma.
How's your week been going?
Where are my Trump fans?
It's been a rough week for Donald Trump.
I don't know if you saw this,
but James Comey has been testifying
before the Senate Intelligence Committee,
or as I call it, James and the Giant Impeach.
Now, Comey today called Trump a liar five times.
Now, normally this would kind of be a big deal
for the FBI director to call the president a liar five times.
But this is Trump.
This is like calling your sheepdog Shaggy.
I mean, it's just...
Trump asked him to shut down the investigation into Michael Flynn.
I mean, shouldn't that be it?
Shouldn't this be over?
Shouldn't the van be pulling up to the White House, the moving van?
Shouldn't Trump's next tweet be, I'm having a yard sale?
Yeah, I mean, the one meeting that they're talking about today,
I mean, the language here you just could not make up.
Trump says to Comey, I need loyalty.
And Comey says to him,
you will always get honesty.
And Trump says, that's what I want.
Honest loyalty.
What are these two grown men talking about?
What the fuck does that mean?
I want honest loyalty.
And then Comey said, I love you.
But I'm not in love with you.
And Trump said, so you love me?
And Comey said, as a friend.
A love friend?
So it's a date.
Okay, a friend date.
I mean, what the fuck is going?
And the Republicans, you know,
Jesus Christ, I just, they never hit bottom.
They get to the bottom of the barrel, and they dig under the barrel.
Paul Ryan says he's new to government.
He's learning as he goes.
Republicans, Jesus Christ, they would put a donkey with a paintbrush in office
if that paintbrush would sign their fucking tax cut for rich people.
And we haven't even gotten to what really is the biggest scandal of the week.
there was evidence that came out this week
that the Russians
not only were doing the shit
they were doing the hacking into Hillary's emails
and that stuff,
they were actually trying to get into the voting booths.
A NSA contractor named,
I'm not kidding about this,
this is the person's name.
This is where it gets confusing.
Her name is reality winner.
Really?
Her first name is reality
and her last name is winner.
I know.
It's so confusing.
We have a reality show president
and this whistleblower's name is reality winner.
And she has said, yes.
And she revealed this information.
I think she's a hero.
But they're putting her in...
Yeah.
No, but now she's the one in trouble.
That's what I love about America.
In other places, shoot the messenger, is just an expression.
And the other thing that would be a giant scandal,
if we weren't always drowning in other Trump scandals,
the president's son, Eric Trump, has a...
You know this story?
He has a children's charity to fight cancer.
Turned out they funneled hundreds of thousands of dollars
from the children's cancer charity
into Trump's golf courses.
The hat should say make America throw up in its mouth.
Thank you so much for coming out.
I really appreciate it.
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