Real Time with Bill Maher - Bonus Bill – Ep. #433

Episode Date: August 14, 2017

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Saving those children is how we all go home. From binge all episodes exclusively on Paramount Plus. Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO late month series, Real Time with Bill Maugh. That's so sweet of you. Thank you very much. Please sit down and you're going to need to go back to crouching under your seats. Because you know what's going on, right? You know our dear leader and North Korea's dear leader.

They're in a big pissing match. You heard this? Trump said North Korea. This was his quote. best not make any more threat, so they will be met with fire and fury, the likes of which the world has never seen. Thank you, Dr. Strangeface. He is serious about war. Today he had Ivanka combed his hair into the shape of a helmet. And, you know, people are comparing this to the Cuban Missile Crisis. It's not really like the Cuban Missile Crisis. First of all, Kennedy

was president then. He was smart. Now we have this, not just the stupidest, but it is president. I'm interested I never. Maybe the stupidest person never. I mean, this is, this would be like the Cuban missile crisis after Kennedy got shot in the head. That, going into applause. I love it. I love to see that. No, I mean, and, you know, we're the target here in Los Angeles. It's scary to think that they can deliver a nuclear missile to Los Angeles in a half an hour, or it's free. and definitely not if they take the 405. That is not... But yeah, I mean, and what happened, of course, with Trump in there and Kim Jong,

the rhetoric is completely out of hand now. Trump tweeted yesterday, my first order when I got to be president was to renovate and modernize our nuclear arsenal. Okay, he asked that it be reviewed. They just started it. Nothing has changed. In other words, it's a giant huge. lie. Or as it's known in the White House, just put it over there with the others.

But yes, of course, so Trump said, you know, you better not threaten us. And within three hours, Kim Jong-un said, okay, we're going to blow up Guam. Right? He threatened Guam, which, if you don't know, is a U.S. territory. It's home to 160,000 people, to United States military bases. And now, thanks to President Fire and Fury, a shortage of clean underwear. And... Okay, so then they said that. Then we had to respond.

One of the White House nuts, Sebastian Gorka... I didn't ever heard of this. They've got so many nuts. They have new ones every week. He released his statement. He said, don't test Donald J. Trump. We are not just a superpower.

We are a hyperpower. How fuck does that even mean? What is a hyper- Is there any member of this administration that doesn't jerk off to call of duty? So North Korea responded to that threat from us. Then they had to say something back. And they said, Trump's threats are a load of nonsense. And they said, the only way to counter Trump is with absolute force.

By the way, absolute vodka also works. And then one of North Korea's leading general, He went there. He said that our president, ladies and gentlemen, was like a guy bereft of reason-going senile. Hey! Yeah, we got it. No, Trump was so mad at being called senile

that he launched into a 20-minute story about the Electoral College and the time they remodeled the 21 Club and a guy he met at a party on a yacht. So that's... I'm not worried because our Secretary of State Rex Tillerson's on the case, and Rex yesterday said, I think Americans should sleep well at night. And Dr. Ben Carson said, just at night?

Oh, that's it. All right, thank you very much. Catch all new episodes of Real Time with Bill Maher every Friday night at 10. Or watch them anytime on HBO on demand. For more information, log on to HBO.com.