Real Time with Bill Maher - Bonus Bill – Ep. #435

Episode Date: August 26, 2017

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Saving those children is how we all go home. From binge all episodes exclusively on Paramount Plus. Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO late-night series, Real Time with Bill Maugh. Thank you. I think I know why you're happy. They finished redecorating the White House. Now they're going to flip it. So, I hope we could only flip the resident. Oh, what a week the mental patient had this week. On TV every night. You saw this, you know, speeches, teleprompter, no prelipromptor. And then the big rally he had. You know, he's still stooped.

over the very unfair coverage of the Charlottesville tragedy. So he went and did a rally in Phoenix the other night. But he blasted the fake news media for misrepresenting what he said after the tragedy, and then he immediately misrepresented what he said after the tragedy. Seriously. I mean, we are so beyond reality. It's just whatever he says it is.

He said during the rally, he said, there aren't many people outside protesting. There were thousands. This is a man who doesn't see crowds when they are there. Does see crowds when they're not there. I mean, he either needs medication or a service dog. I mean, but the biggest controversy from the speech is he started to talk about, of course, he's got to bring up the wall.

That's his greatest hit. That's like stones playing satisfaction, you know. So, but here's the new wrinkle. He said, if they don't build up the wall, If they don't build the wall, if Congress doesn't give me the funding to build the wall, we're going to shut the government down. Shut the government down. Wait a second.

First of all, I thought Mexico was going to pay for the wall. Remember that? First Mexico is going to pay for the wall. Then, okay, we'll pay for it, and Mexico is going to pay us back. Now, not only are we going to pay for it, but if we don't pay for it, the government shuts down. So now he's just down to lying about the whole. whole thing. He's saying, oh, no, you misheard me. I said, I'm going to make Mexico gay for the wall.

They're going to love it. That's not pay for the wall. Gay for them. Oh, please. There's a long way to go. But, you know, when Reagan got mad at the wall, he threatened Russia, but times change, folks, you know. No, but the thing is, we don't even need the wall because we've made life so uncomfortable for Mexicans. Mexicans don't want to be here anymore. Fuck, I don't want to be here anymore. Yeah, and nobody wants to be in the White House. They lost another one. I didn't even heard of this guy.

Andy Hemming quit today. He was the director of rapid response. This is the job. His job was to get the press to print favorable articles about Donald Trump. This is like being the PR man for the asbestos industry. The best thing, The best headline he was able to get out of the press in six months was,

Trump doesn't smell as bad as he looks like he'd smell. And Sarah Huckabee Sanders said today that, well, he can do a better job promoting the agenda of the White House from the outside. This is the same thing they said when Steve Bannon left. Who knew the White House was such a terrible place to promote the White House? Oh, it's been great. I could be so much more effective blogging from a Starbucks. So, now on the policy front, he did make a teleproper speech about the war in Afghanistan.

And apparently, folks, if you like your endless war in Afghanistan, you can keep your endless war in Afghanistan. Trump said, Afghanistan, Ashmanistan, I'm keeping my eye on the real enemy, Mitch McConnell. Because, you know, he's been having a feud with Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, but the word is today they're speaking again, Mitch McConnell and Donald Trump. Or if they're known in Washington, the tortoise and he combed over hair. And of course, I'm sure you saw the big news. Hillary Clinton's book is coming out September 8th. They release the first excerpts.

It is the number one bestseller on Amazon. But that's because three million Mexicans ordered it illegally. I ordered the e-book. It keeps erasing itself. It keeps erasing itself, ladies. And finally, you know, Texans, a major hurricane is about to hit Texas. Texas on Friday. But Trump said today, trust me, FEMA director, Scott Beow, is totally honest. All right. Thank you very much.

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