Real Time with Bill Maher - Bonus Bill – Ep. #439
Episode Date: October 2, 2017Listen in on the jokes only Bill’s audience got to hear. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO late-night series, Real Time with Bill Ma.
Thank you very much. I really appreciate that.
Did you notice America got even dumber this week? How about a hand to that?
That's right. Our draft dodging, Gold Star Family insulting, POW, slandering president is tackling America's greatest crisis,
how football players stand or don't when the music comes on before the game.
You know that NFL owners donated almost $8 million to his inauguration?
Remember the inauguration where a crowd of hundreds of millions
watched a fat liar who came in second touch a Bible for the first time?
You know, people are saying Trump doesn't care about Puerto Rico.
Wait until he finds out they speak Spanish and can come here anytime they want.
So he's going to head down there to Puerto Rico.
Puerto Rico, as soon as Malani you can find the right shoes.
But the problem is that Puerto Rico and their citizens have a very weird relationship
with the United States.
They are citizens, but they can't vote.
Kind of like black folks in Florida.
Who remembers the 2000 election?
Anybody?
I guess maybe not.
So the other great story this week that made America stupid are Alabama.
You saw what happened down there in Alabama?
The winner of the Republican runoff for the Senate is a guy named Judge Roy Moore.
If you haven't seen this guy, imagine if howdy-duty for the last 50 years had done nothing
but reading the Bible and watch Fox News.
Republicans in Alabama, I love this, they looked at the stereotype in their state, uneducated
religious nuts, and went, yeah, let's double down on that.
Let's elect Larry the unstable guy.
I mean, this guy is a cracker even for Alabama.
In the same way that Trump is an asshole even for New York.
So the plan is that eventually every state is going to be represented by the person who best embodies what everyone in America hates about that state.
Like California will be represented by a waiter who didn't wash his hands after shooting porn.
And Texas will be represented by a California.
with a gun rack.
Trump unveiled his tax plan, which includes repeal of the estate tax, which has caused
so much hardship for America's most vulnerable millionaires.
And the New York Times says the tax plan is a windfall for hedge fund managers, corporate
executives, and real estate developers, and could raise taxes on the poor and the middle
class.
And Trump responded by saying, hey, look, they're playing the anthem and Sam Jackson sell
his hat on.
But here's what we do know about the tax plan
from Donald Trump's mouth himself.
He says it's terrific,
revolutionary,
going to make jobs start pouring into this country
and they make the economy take off like a rocket chip.
Boy, the guy does not undersell, does he?
You know, first the wall,
then the health care bill.
I just want to ask his fans,
how many times are you going to buy a brick in a box
in the best buy,
parking lot before you realize it's not a DVR.
All right, thank you very much.
It sounds like a great crowd.
We got some more for you.
Catch all new episodes of Real Time with Bill Maher
every Friday night at 10.
Or watch them anytime on HBO On Demand.
For more information, log on to HBO.B.O.com.
