Real Time with Bill Maher - Bonus Bill – Ep. #443

Episode Date: November 6, 2017

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Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO late-night series Real Time with Bill Maugh. Okay, well, did you have a great Halloween? Did you? Yeah. You know what, a fun Halloween over at the White House, the Trump's, Donald and Melania. They passed out, I'm not kidding about this, they're called presidential M&Ms. Kind of like M&Ms, except they melt down watching CNN. This is a big week for America. They announced criminal charges for three people, Paul Manafort, who was the campaign manager.

his partner, Gait, and some guy he never heard of named George Papadopoulos, who pleaded guilty to making false statements to the FBI. What an idiot, because, you know, you lie to the FBI, they're going to give you living hell. But if you lie to the whole world, they make you the press secretary. But it sounds funny, after months of Trump insisting that, you know, no communication with the Russians,

this guy, Papadopoulos was communicating with everybody. Talking to every Russian, and then talking to the people in the Trump. He met with a Russian agent called The Professor. The Professor. He met with someone who said she was Putin's niece. He was even photographed meeting a senior Russian operative name Donald Trump. But this Paul Manafort guy, wow.

He's charged with money laundering, tax evasion, failing to register as a foreign agent. And he had three passports. I didn't know you could do that. I don't think you can. Yes, exactly. Three passports and a phone and an email account registered to fake names.

Can you imagine his interview to be Trump's campaign manager? Yes, I have a long history of shady dealings with Rusta, Russia, and avoiding taxes. Now tell me about you, Paul. Now, Manafort pled not guilty. He denied everything,

and he called the whole investigation of wasting tax dollars. that he was avoiding paying. And Trump says this is all fine because none of it touches him. Trump's defense is that he had no involvement with the Trump campaign. Really, he...

Trump today called the New York Times to tell them he's not angry at the Mueller investigation, that he's personally not under investigation, and the man with a 38% approval rating said, I've got fantastic poll numbers. And then the reporter from the Times said, can you put your father on the phone?

No, Trump is so desperate to distract America from the Russia investigation that he took a page out of Harvey Weinstein's book today and jacked off into a potted plant. And then he realized, oh, it was Jared. Poor Jared. Well, you're right, poor Jared. Jared is very out of favor with Donald Trump, apparently for giving very bad political advice. And apparently Ivanka, very pissed too at Jared, because in bed now. when Jared says, who's your daddy? Ivanka says, President Donald J. Trump.

But Trump, of course, did get the distraction he was looking for this week. I'm sure you heard about this. An Uzbek immigrant who loves ISIS drove a truck through a crowd in New York City. And, of course, our commander-in-chief immediately rushed into action with a series of powerful tweets about how it wasn't his fault. And this asshole who did this was an... Uber driver. So the problem won't be getting him to talk. Probably getting to shut up. So I know you're upset about the World Series. If you're from here in Los Angeles. Houston may have the better baseball team, but we still have the most sexual harassment.

In L.A., when you take a knee, it's to blow a producer. All right. Thank you very much. night at 10 or watch them anytime on HBO on demand. For more information, log on to hb0.com.