Real Time with Bill Maher - Bonus Bill – Ep. #449

Episode Date: February 13, 2018

Listen in on the jokes only Bill’s audience got to hear.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices...

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Starting point is 00:00:00 It's something else here now, something new. From, exclusively on Paramount Plus, it's the series Stephen King calls Scary as Hell. Everything here is impossible, but it's also real. Sci-fi vision calls it the best show streaming right now. We're running out of time and we still don't know the rules. Don't miss what the movie blog calls something you need to watch. Saving those children is how we all go home.
Starting point is 00:00:25 From binge all episodes exclusively on Paramount Plus. Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO late-night series, Real Time with Bill Ma. I say with a reception like that, who needs a military parade? Apparently Donald Trump, do you hear this shit? Donald Trump, this man. Gotta say, he gives me an LOL every day. He doesn't mean to, but he does. He wants now a fucking military parade.
Starting point is 00:01:24 He told the Pentagon, he wants a parade with the tanks rolling down the streets. And the Pentagon had to ask, ours are the Russians? Trump wants to show the world how mighty he is. I think penis enlargement surgery so much cheaper. You know, this happened because last year he went to France and he saw their Bastille Day parade and he said, I want a parade like the one I saw in France.
Starting point is 00:01:56 Yes, if only the American military could be more like France. And he had the nerve this week to call Democrats. treasonous. He used that word for, what was their offense, for not applauding him at the State of the Union address, while, of course, all the Republicans erupted in rapturous standing ovations at every brain fart that came out of his mouth. Well, he has got those Republicans wrapped around his finger. When he says stoop, they say, how low? And he's very mad at the FBI. You know this? Oh, the Federal Bureau of Investigation keeps investigating.
Starting point is 00:02:40 He also wants to know why the NAACP is so focused on the advancement of colored people. But you know, this is serious. The Homeland Security people said yesterday that in the 2016 election, the Russians, quote, successfully penetrated the voter rolls in at least two states. Today the Statue of Liberty was wearing a Me Too pin. It's... I mean, this is... I mean, we knew they hacked till they.
Starting point is 00:03:11 emails. We knew they put on false stories up on Facebook, but this is something different. This is actually getting into the voter rolls. Even Republicans are worried. They say if the Russians can get access to our polls, black people could be next. In Chicago,
Starting point is 00:03:33 the Republicans for Congress are running an actual Nazi. An actual Nazi. A Republican, he's the nominee, he's not going to win, but he's for a congressional seat in Chicago. His name is Arthur Jones, He's a retired insurance salesman. He's not going to win.
Starting point is 00:03:48 We're not that crazy. We still hate insurance salesmen. His slogan is, when they go low, we go at Heil. Trump was at the prayer breakfast today. You know, there's a national prayer breakfast every year. I'm not sure Trump in prayer. He may not believe in prayer. Clearly, he believes in breakfast.
Starting point is 00:04:13 He calls it the most... He says breakfast is the most important, the most important continuous meal of the day. Oh, and another one of the best people. I had the best people. Remember all that you? The best people. Another one of the best people is out at the White House. Rob Porter is his name. He is a very important job, assistant to the chief of staff. He said, just the government work is so consuming and he wants to spend more time beating his family. What? No, but I know why you're happy. The Olympic. are tonight. Trump loves the Winter Olympics. He says, finally an opportunity for the white
Starting point is 00:04:56 athletes to shine. All right. Thank you very much. Is that it? That's it. All right. Catch all new episodes of Real Time with Bill Maher every Friday night at 10 or watch them anytime on HBO on demand. For more information, log on to hb.com.

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