Real Time with Bill Maher - Bonus Bill – Ep. #455

Episode Date: April 9, 2018

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Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO Late Night series Real Time with Bill Maugh. Well, people are happy at springtime and, oh, and I know why you're happy. Trump came up with another great idea.

It's such a great idea guy. Troops at the border. Isn't that great? He's sending the National Guard to the border. Why now? Why is he doing this now? Of course, like everything with this moron, because he was watching Fox News. And they started to talk about a caravan.

Have you heard about this? This caravan of people from Central America who's come caravans, so everybody freaked out. Home Depot's like, we're going to need a bigger parking lot. Caravan. But, no, he thinks he's going to lose his base. Anne Coulter, who basically made him president with her book about immigration, she's mad because he hasn't built the wall yet.

So she's tweeting angry things about him, and you cannot lose Anne Coulter. I mean, the last time a woman spanked him that bad was Stormy Daniels. You know, it's all about, you know, with him. Everything's about keeping his base happy. You know, the forgotten Americans. Can we stop using this term?

What a ridiculous. They're forgotten Americans. Like the lost tribes of the Rust Belt. They're like Wakandans living in a hidden valley. No, they're not invisible, these people. In fact, they're at Walmart in their pajamas. I wish they were invisible. I mean, even if you wanted to keep people out, the wall wouldn't work.

Somebody was telling Trump the other day, they said, using technology instead of a wall, is a lot cheaper and more efficient. And he said, if I wanted cheaper and more efficient, I'd let the Mexicans in. Now, the other genius idea he's had lately is a trade war with China, which, predictably now China has responded with tariffs of their own. So the White House is frantically backpett. Oh, no, we were just threatening. It was just a first offer because, you know, the markets, the stock markets do not seem to be enjoying the unpredictability of President Brain Fart.

Because whenever he proposes something, the markets tank. And then one of the cabinet secretaries comes out and says, oh, don't pay any attention to him. Nobody around here does, and the markets bounce back. Everything this guy says is like a fart that they blame on the dog. And then the final story, I think, is really interesting. Stormy Daniel's lawyer, listen to this, says she can describe President Trump's genitalia in great detail. Based on that, I'll pay her hush money. All right, thank you very much.

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