Real Time with Bill Maher - Bonus Bill – Ep. #467

Episode Date: August 8, 2018

Listen in on the jokes only Bill’s audience got to hear.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO Late Night series, Real Time with Bill Maugh. Oh my God, if you missed the news, we've gone from there was no meeting to there was no collusion to now collusion is not a crime? We are about two weeks away from Rudy Giuliani

saying, you know what? If Donald Trump's son met in an underground parking garage to accept unmarked bills in a metal briefcase from a Russian agent and it was strapped to his wrist, is that a crime? I don't think so. Doesn't sound like it.

Now, this was chilling. I know people thought this was a nothing story. I don't think this is a nothing story. Stormy Daniels was arrested. This is bad when the government goes after private citizens who were just their political enemies. Stormy Daniels, on trumped-up charges, was arrested doing her strip club thing at a strip club in Columbus, Ohio.

The police came in, they said, this is a bust. She said, thank you. But I'm telling you, this is a slippery slope. It is not good to be going after. to private citizens like that. She's just doing her job. Let her do her job. Dancing in strip clubs is not easy.

It's a real grind. What the fuck is Q? Another one of these right-wing conspiracy things, to explain this, Q people, it's a group of people who do not have a very high IQ. They believe in this crazy theory that Trump is a good president.

They're just a bunch of brain-few. fried nut jobs who think that there's this, I'm not making this up, they think there's an international cabal of bankers and mostly pedophiles. But this is new. Not that there isn't new crazy every week, but this is new new, that suddenly if you don't like someone now, you call them a pedophile. You know who they say are pedophiles? Tom Hanks, Tom Hanks, Steven Spielberg. Actually, everybody in Hollywood, pretty much, they say he's a pedophile. Well, that's not true. There is an international cabal. of child molesters, but they're not based in Hollywood.

They're based in the Vatican. But don't worry about the pedophiles. Trump's gonna get them. There is a new sheriff in town, and if you're gonna rape something, it'd better be the earth. Finally, Apple announced today, they are the first public company to be worth over $1 trillion, which just shows to go,

that you can sell a shitload of any product, if it's designed for you to drop it in the toilet. Thank you very much. We're going to go to the desk. Catch all new episodes of Real Time with Bill Maher every Friday night at 10 or watch them anytime on HBO On Demand. For more information, log on to HBO.com.