Real Time with Bill Maher - Bonus Bill – Ep. #468

Episode Date: August 14, 2018

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO late-night series, Real Time with Bill Maugh. They are in a very good mood. I don't know why. They're in a very good, probably because there was a special election. Did you see that in Ohio?
Starting point is 00:00:27 Special election on Tuesday, right? And this was a district that Democrats were not supposed to win, and we didn't. Once again, came very close. Remember when Trump said, you're going to be tired of winning? I'm tired of almost winning.
Starting point is 00:00:43 You know, this blue wave, they're talking about the blue wave coming. I don't, I don't, I, I, I, it may just be Democrats going, have a good time in Congress, don't forget to hate. Now the president is on vacation, oh boy, did he earn it, huh? Uh, yeah, he's on vacation in New Jersey,
Starting point is 00:01:05 because when you go on vacation, you think New Jersey. Uh, yeah, he's having a good time. He says he's gonna, he's gonna cheat on his diet. Because it works so well with his taxes and his wife. But he looks like he's getting a little nervous about the investigations that are swirling around him. He admitted on Twitter this week that his son, Donnie fuckfaced, Don Jr. Dushbag one fuckface, that's his official name, that Don Jr. That Don Jr.'s meeting, the famous one at Trump Tower during the campaign,
Starting point is 00:01:43 was, in fact, as we all thought, to get dirt on Hillary Clinton. And he said, Don Jr. may have wandered into legal jeopardy. I love that. Wondered into legal jeopardy. That's my favorite game show. Legal jeopardy. It's right after Wheel of Fortunate Son. Thank you, sir.
Starting point is 00:02:07 But Rudy Giuliani says he wants the whole investigation over by September. Good luck with that. And he says Donald Trump is willing to sit down. with special investigator Robert Mueller. But Trump supporters, of course, see sitting down with Mueller as what they call a perjury trap, because every time Trump opens his trap, he commits perjury.
Starting point is 00:02:31 And they're forgetting about that little legal trick you can use called not lying. But that wouldn't be the case with Donald Trump. He set a new record, broke his own record, of course, of lies in a week, 132 last week. week. How about it? 132.
Starting point is 00:02:51 In one week, previous record was 103. He smashed it. My favorite live last week, he was giving one of his
Starting point is 00:02:59 Nuremberg rallies there in Tampa. And he and he said this tremendous movie screen outside for all the thousands of
Starting point is 00:03:11 people who couldn't get in. There was no movie screen. And no one outside trying to You know, at least when Jim Jones told his followers to drink the Kool-Aid, there was Kool-Aid. So this is interesting.
Starting point is 00:03:28 Amarosa in the news. She says she has tapes. She recorded President Trump. This is a good lesson for future presidents. If you're looking at resumes under previous job experience, if it says reality show villain, skip that one. But I guess, you know, are you all native Californians? Are you from out of town?
Starting point is 00:03:54 If you're from California, you know, what we are always thinking about it this time of year is fire. 70% of the state has smoke over it. You can see the fires now from space. Trump tweeted blaming the victim, saying, we are making the fires worse. Because, get this, he said, we allowed a massive amount of our water to be diverted into. into the Pacific Ocean. That's right. We're having trouble putting out our wildfires, not because of global warming.
Starting point is 00:04:25 That's not. Because we dumped all our water into the Pacific Ocean. Yes, and they call what they drop on the fire, retortened? Okay, thank you very much. Catch all new episodes of Real Time with Bill Maher every Friday night at 10 or watch them anytime on HBO on demand. For more information, log on to HBO.com. Thank you.

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