Real Time with Bill Maher - Bonus Bill – Ep. #470

Episode Date: August 29, 2018

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Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO Late Night series Real Time with Bill Maugh. Okay, wow. That's good. How's the resistance?

Is this the resistance? No, I hope so. I hope they're on our side. I mean, I thought we had a pretty good week. Kind of an episode of Law and Order GOP this week, right? I mean, for Democrats, kind of a relief. There was two trials.

They both went our way. Kind of like in college, remember, when you finally got laid after 18 months? Yeah, Trump's personal lawyer and his former campaign manager both found guilty, so witch hunt two, Trump nothing. Michael Cohen admitted to every crime in New York that doesn't involve standing on the sidewalk with three playing cards in a box. They're going to love that in New York, where they see that all the time. Yeah, we don't see that here. But, no, Trump called him a rat. He's a rat.

The Trump's. They have a needlepoint pillow at their house that says, A friend is just someone you haven't thrown under the bus yet. He's a rat. Trump tweeted, if you're looking for a good lawyer, don't hire Michael Cohen. Steve Bannon, Amarosa, Cohen. Trump's defense is always, why would you ever trust someone who I, picked to work for me.

And Manafort, the other guy who got it the other day, on the same day came out within an hour. Oh, how embarrassing. It's like going to the Oscars and someone's wearing the same dress. It's just... But, yeah, he was guilty of eight counts,

four counts of bank fraud, four counts of tax fraud, and one count of wearing ostrich after Labor Day. Yeah, when Trump heard that he was guilty of tax evasion and bank fraud, Trump was shocked. He said, those are crimes? But Trump was very different about Mr. Manafort than he was about Michael.

Michael Cohen's a rat. Not Manafort. He's a good man. Refused to break like that rat, Cohen, yeah. He said, such respect I have for a brave man. Hashtag white color crimes matter. But it's a dark day for our country, but on the bright side, the Mexican kids got released because they needed the cages.

Yeah, I put the kids in cages, right. So, but, you know, Republicans in Congress standing by their man, they are reaching Camille Cosby level of denial now. But, yeah, the Republican Party so definitely. quietly quiet and perfectly still about all this, you'd think Trump was fucking it. But, uh, as the president's defenders point out very strongly, it's only a crime if you look in the book of things that are crimes. You know, they got nothing.

They're like a girlfriend who just brings up old shit. You know, you say, you colluded with Russia. And they're like, yeah, but Bill Clinton got a blowjob and you wore flip-flops on our first date. Meanwhile, Trump did you see this yesterday. He did a hard-hitting interview on Fox News with Ainsley Earhart and just was free associating at lightning speed. You'll never guess what he said. It's a witch hunt.

And what about Hillary's emails? And what about the FBI's emails? What about John Podestead? What about that time Obama paid a fine? Even Q was like, slow down, fatty. You sound kind of crazy. No, Ainsley, Ains are astrump. Listen to this.

She asked Trump, where he was getting his legal expertise from. Trump said, and I quote this verbatim, this is the President of the United States, said, I watch a number of shows. Sometimes you get good information watching shows. And the ads are good, too. I instructed Space Force today to start working on a walk-in tub. He said, Trump said, quote, a lot of lawyers on television say they're not even crime. crimes. That was Giuliana, you imbecile. You put him there. What's your next argument? Something you read in one of your own tweets?

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