Real Time with Bill Maher - Bonus Bill – Ep. #472

Episode Date: September 20, 2018

Listen in on the jokes only Bill’s audience got to hear.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices...

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO late-night series Real Time with Bill Maugh. Okay, thank you very much. You're here in California. You're safe. You're looking at the storm on TV every day, right? Oh, those poor people on the East Coast.
Starting point is 00:00:28 And there's always one stubborn idiot no matter how big the disaster refuses to leave the house he lives in. And his name is Donald Trump. And given what happened in Puerto Rico last year, He wants you to know. It may take it up to a year for the power to come back on. So this winter, if you get cold, burn your Nikes.
Starting point is 00:00:52 But yeah, Hurricane Florence, it's been downgraded. That's the good news. But still, 130 mile an hour winds. They say it's spinning faster than Sarah Huckabee Sanders. Yeah, the religious folks, they always come to play when the hurricanes hit, don't they? Pat Robertson said today, this hurricane is God's punishment for Stormy Daniels breaking the terms of her nondisclose. Closure. Seems ridiculous.
Starting point is 00:01:20 But yeah, Trump spent another week proving how presidential he can be. As usual, the victim in any disaster is him. He spent most of the week talking about Hurricane Maria the one a year ago
Starting point is 00:01:35 in Puerto Rico, which was an incredible unsung success. 3,000 people died. He says the death toll was exaggerated by Democrats to make him look bad. That's his thing with everything. The Democrats, they make up things. They make... That's all they do is
Starting point is 00:01:51 they make up things. And who knows more about makeup than Donald Trump? Yeah, everything Trump hates is a big hoax. The Democrats made this up about Hurricane Maria. Big hoax. The climate change is a big hoax. And the inauguration crowds doubting that was a
Starting point is 00:02:10 big hoax. Everything he doesn't... The Mueller investigation is a big hoax. The female orgasm, a plot against me. And then to round out another fantastic presidential week, on 9-11, he traveled to Pennsylvania with Melania for a memorial service in Shanksville.
Starting point is 00:02:30 Melania marked the event with a moment of silence that began when the Hollywood Access tape was released and has continued up into this moment. And Trump, did you see that? He walks over to a crowd of his drooling idiot fans. This is on 9-11, the most solemn day we sell it.
Starting point is 00:02:47 We commemorate the deaths of all these people. He's like, double fist pump, which sounds like a Stormy Daniels movie. But Shanksville, he acted like he was going to Margaritaville. That's something you don't often see, a train wreck visiting a plane crash. Okay.
Starting point is 00:03:11 Catch all new episodes of Real Time with Bill Maher every Friday night at 10. Or watch him anytime on each other. HBO on demand. For more information, log on to HBO.com.

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