Real Time with Bill Maher - Bonus Bill – Ep. #504

Episode Date: August 19, 2019

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Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO late-night series, Real Time with Bill Ma. Well, I think I know why you're happy today. You haven't checked your stocks yet. No, Trump over and over. Remember this kept saying that the tariffs he kept putting on China that we were not going to be paying for the tariffs. China was going to be paying that they were not going to be passed the cost onto the American consumer. So now he's postponed those tariffs, he says,

because he doesn't want to affect Christmas. with the tariffs that don't affect consumers. Thank you, Mr. President, for ending the war on Christmas that you started. Yeah, so the tariffs that were going to be put on cell phones and laptops and toys, they were supposed to go into effect on September 1st, but in the middle of the night, President Scrooge McPresident got a visit from the Ghost of Christmas Stupid. So yesterday the stock market dropped 800 points. Conservative media knows who to blame me.

They're blaming me, really. Sean Hannity, he's on it every night because I have been rooting for a recession. Yes, because if the economy falters, Trump goes. It is worth it. I would rather... Yeah, sorry. Sorry, it has to be that way,

but I would rather see the economy tank than tanks in the streets. You know, I mean, look, the stuff that's going away permanently, that's the stuff I worry about. The Endangered Species Act, he's getting rid of that kind of shit. We have a pesticide here in California. California is banning now a pesticide that Obama had banned, and then the Trump administration unbanned.

It's linked to brain damage, something Republicans obviously don't have a problem with. And there's a new Me Too casualty, Placito Domingo, big fans of his. He's an opera singer, big opera singer, that's true. Apparently, I don't know. I don't know what the truth is, but, you know, it should be investigated, of course. But it always seems like it's people in opera, ballet, conductors, the arts, comedians, singers. You know, nothing in the meatpacking industry.

Jeffrey Epstein was found dead in his jail cell this week. Apparently the Lord called him home to the big pedophile island in the sky. The autopsy was done today. They found that Epstein's neck was broken in multiple places. His cell, the hallway, the mop closet, the break room. The break room, get it. Jeffrey Epstein wanted his head and a his penis frozen so that after death they could be reanimated.

Wanted to reanimate his penis. Even Roger Stone said, this guy's a weirdo. Okay, well... Catch all new episodes of Real Time with Bill Maher every Friday night at 10 or watch them anytime on HBO on demand. For more information, log on to HBO.com.