Real Time with Bill Maher - Bonus Bill – Ep. #510

Episode Date: October 15, 2019

Listen in on the jokes only Bill’s audience got to hear.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO late-night series Real Time with Bill Maugh. Dodger fans, are you? Maybe you don't own a TV. It was not a good day for the yesterday. I looked around L.A., all the faces were frozen in shock. Although that could just be the Botox.

I don't know. The Trump team, they only know offense. They don't know defense. There's no, well, we're innocent because. Fuck that. Trump's defense is always to repeat the crime that he knows he's guilty of but then do it in public.

He was caught on the phone. It was a private call with the Ukrainian president trying to get him to dig up dirt on Joe Biden. And then last week he stands in the driveway and says, China, you should look into the Biden's. If Trump was a common criminal who has to wear the ankle monitor, most people try to hide it under their sock in their pants,

he would put it on a chain around his neck. He'd wear it right here. He had the docket number tattooed on his face. But the Trump administration today announced a new policy on immigrants. This is true. They will be denied visas if they can't pay for their own health care. Although waivers are available if you can offer some dirt on Joe Biden. Then you're good.

But you know who is not helping with the government? this whole situation? Facebook. Facebook is printing the lies, just putting up these ads. Even CNN won't take these ads. That just Trump puts up that say out and out lies. Joe Biden took a billion dollars from Ukraine

that are just crazy and Facebook says, sorry, nothing we can do about it. You know what? If I want to see people lie on social media, I'll get on Tinder. Well, if you don't, the Kurds are a stateless people. They're a Middle Eastern people, but they never had their own country. They're in parts of four different countries.

They're in Iraq, they're in Syria, they're in Iran, they're in Turkey. So now they were our staunchest allies against ISIS. They were the ones who were the stalwarts and killed ISIS for it, and now we're leaving them. Pundits say this may finally be the thing that turned some of Trump's fans against them. Even though deplorables are like, that's deplorable. And this whole shift came because Trump was on the phone to the to the Turkish President Erdogan, again with the phone.

It's always with the phone with this guy. He doesn't need to be impeached. He needs to be grounded. No more phone calls over the weekend. But, yeah, all you have to do is what the Turkish president did. He said, hey, I got an idea. Why don't you do this? And Trump said, okay.

Putin, if you're watching, I bet you could get him to eat a tide pod. The insanity, it just never stops. Trump tweeted, Big day of negotiations with China. They want to make a deal, but do I? I meet with the vice premier tomorrow. Does he know that he's president and not still on NBC? Will I be impeached?

Or will I form an alliance with Putin? Tune in tomorrow to find out. And the guy who has not been good for the Democrats responding to Joe Biden. Joe's response. To all this has been, let's say, less than forceful. And Joe was the guy who, you know, when he first got in it, was like, I'm going to beat Trump like hell.

I'll meet him in the parking lot. You know, they were talking, he was talking about physically having a fucking fight with this guy. And now that Trump is calling him corrupt and attacking his family. He's like, where's my teeth? Catch all new episodes of real time with Bill Maher every Friday night at 10. Or watch him anytime on HBO on demand. For more information, log on to HBO.com.