Real Time with Bill Maher - Bonus Bill (Originally aired 04/22/16)

Episode Date: April 25, 2016

Bonus Bill (Originally aired 04/22/16) - Listen in on the jokes only Bill’s audience got to hear. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Now it's time for Real Time 2.0. Your chance to listen in behind the scenes to the real-time monologue jokes America didn't hear. Thank you for a lot to cover. Thank you for being in a good mood. There is some good news for feminists, some good news for minority rights because we are putting Harriet Tubman on the $20 bill.

Did you hear that? Now, of course, you understand. Most Americans have no idea who Harriet Tubman is. They're going to look at it and go, why is Weezy Jefferson on the 20 now? No, Harriet Tubman Harriet Tubman was a former slave who helped other slaves escape on the underground railroad,

which was like the 19th century version of economy class in Delta. Anyway, yeah, Donald Trump had another one of those weeks where he said some of these stupid things. Did you see this? He kept calling 9-11-7-11. This guy does not know a lot about history. And then people came down. in him for doing that. He said, hey, chill out. Quit treating me like I'm Alan Hitler.

Yeah, President Obama on a big, important trip overseas. He was in Saudi Arabia the last two days. That did not go well. A lot of tensions between those two countries. They do not like what he has been saying about them because he's been saying the truth, and they don't like it. The king of Saudi Arabia has a lot of complaints about Obama. There's the 9-11 lawsuit that some people want to see go through, the price of oil, the happy about it. And I'm happy about it. about that. And he also said to Obama, you never hold hands like George Bush used to. Remember they used to hold hands?

And when they do, it's kind of a dead fish. You know, he'll do it. Now, yesterday, how many celebrated 420? That was a... That has become... Let me tell you. That is becoming a real holiday

in America. There were events all over the country. There were smokeouts in Golden State Park. In Denver, there was a concert with Snoop Dog. In Washington, D.C., my friend, to Woody Harrelson laid a cush wreath on the tomb of the unknown stoner. It was very... And just in time for some good news from our friends up north in Canada.

Canada apparently is going to legalize weed in 2017. Isn't that something? They already have a new slogan. It's a, come for the weed. Stay because Trump might be elected president. Well, you've got to give it to Donald Trump, the New York primary was Tuesday, and he won big.

I hope it doesn't go to his head. I get to see him looking like an egomaniac. And he killed his big rival Ted Cruz. Ted Cruz came in third. That's got to hurt. And Ted Cruz, this was his line after he lost so bad. He said, I'm making this up. He said, America is best when she's lying down

with her back on the mat. And Bill Cosby said, you got to bring me into this. Thank you for you. Catch all new episodes of real time with Bill Maher every Friday night at 10 or watch them anytime on HBO on demand. For more information,

log on to hbo.com.