Real Time with Bill Maher - Bonus Bill (Originally aired 09/30/16)

Episode Date: October 1, 2016

Bonus Bill (Originally aired 09/30/16) - Listen in on the jokes only Bill’s audience got to hear. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Now it's time for Real Time 2.0. Your chance to listen in behind the scenes to the real-time monologue jokes America didn't hear. Thank you. What a welcome. Are you excited because of the debate? Is that what's all got to? I know. Did you see Hillary?

Man, she came out there in that bright red pantsuit? Because that's the color Latinos used to taunt bulls. I'm kidding. I shouldn't compare Trump to a bull. Bulls don't snort that much. And they excrete less bullshit. That's what I'm saying. I don't know what to say about Trump's demeanor.

How do you even describe this? It's like picture an asshole, all-white fraternity that let in toddlers. That's what... I mean, he didn't... He didn't just deny the facts. He seemed confused by the concept of facts. Now, look, still doesn't mean she's going to win the election. Don't be complacent.

Be afraid. Be very afraid. But it does look like she won the debate, because, you know, people who watch politics, They've been watching this a long time. A lot of people tuned in. Almost 100 million people watched this and went, oh, you mean that Donald Trump? That asshole.

Yeah, no, I don't think he should be president. One way you might be able to tell that you're a sexist is when you call a beauty queen, Miss Piggy, and Chris Christie is standing right behind you. Oh, yeah, he's in trouble. Chris Christie, governor, my home state of New Jersey. Oh, absolutely. that bridge gate trial is going on

where he clogged the traffic on the bridge and they say he knew about it and was laughing about it when they told him. He probably got the idea for squeezing tons of traffic into a couple lanes by putting on his pants. All right, thank you very much, folks.

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