Real Time with Bill Maher - Bonus Bill (Originally aired 1/20/17)

Episode Date: January 24, 2017

Bonus Bill (Originally aired 1/20/17) - Listen in on the jokes only Bill’s audience got to hear. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Now it's time for Real Time 2.0. Your chance to listen in behind the scenes to the real-time monologue jokes America didn't hear. Thank you very much. Oh, I'm so glad you came out here. Less than a day before Trump takes office. I'm sorry, I'm a little late coming out here. My head got stuck in the oven, but...

Because Trump is president now, and he's going to replace democracy with something terrific. And then he's going to replace democracy. going to blow up the planet. Yeah, this is the point in the movie where Superman's parents take the baby and put them in the rocket.

Because the planet's going to blow up. But Trump supporters say the election is a reckoning. Already, some of them are having buyers remorse because they know this is the moment where let's shake things up turns into, oh, shit, what have we done?

Oh, we're going to look back at the Obama years, and it's going to be like rap music before a white people ruined it. You know? That tomorrow at the inauguration, you know, Hillary is going to be there, just in case we come to our

senses at the last minute. But 65 congressmen have boycotted the whole thing. There's going to be demonstrations up and down the blocks in Washington, D.C. There's one going off today. There's the Women's March this weekend. There's a group

called, you're going? There's a group called Disrupt J20, which it plans to shut everything down and paralyze the city, or as we call it here in L.A., rush hour. And apparently, there's not enough people who really want to go to this thing to fill the inauguration. They're actually, they say, are hiring seat fillers. And when Mike Pence heard they were having seat fillers, he said, no, no gay people. So the funniest thing, though, I found about this whole brouhaha Donald Trump,

who has been talking for over a year about what he's going to do on day one. Day one, now he says, I was going to start on Monday. Fuck it, I'm taking the weekend. He's like the guy who shows up at the work site. When's lunch? He also says, make America great.

Yeah, I just meant that relative to Haiti. But the entertainment, I tell you, at the inaugurator, unbelievable. It's not so much of who's who as a, where are they now? I don't want to say they're hurt. for entertainment. One of the acts is Melania tying a cherry...

Cherry stem with her tongue, you know. We're going to go over here now. Catch all new episodes of real-time with Bill Maher every Friday night at 10 or watch them anytime on HBO On Demand. For more information, log on to HBO.com.