Real Time with Bill Maher - Ep. #479: Bob Woodward, Sarah Silverman

Episode Date: November 10, 2018

Bill’s guests are Bob Woodward, Sarah Silverman, Cornell Belcher, Katty Kay, Bret Stephens (Originally aired 11/09/18) See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO late-night series Real Time with Bill Maugh. I know why you're happy, no more political ads on TV. Isn't that a... Boy, I tell you, that at the end, it was like,

only political ads, right? For weeks, I have never been so happy to see the Seyallis couple back in their fucking bathtub. I... I... Of course, the downside with the election being over is that the lawn signs

go away. and then you can't tell which one of your neighbors is an asshole. But the election, kind of a split decision. Democrats won the House. Russia kept the Senate. And we found out that the divide in this country is bigger than ever. The red rural parts came out overwhelmingly for trunk. The blue urban parts came out against him.

We are really devolving into two countries. The tobacco chewers. and the people who vape. That's America. So I don't know what's going to happen. But, no, you know, the election went well, but it wasn't everything we really hoped. It was that hard-hit ball off the wall

that turns into a long single, you know? It was red wine, but from Trader Joe's. A new car, but a Buick. The chicken d'nese. dish at a nice restaurant, a hand job. You know, just not everything we were hoping for. But some races are still undecided, and Republicans say it is not over until each and every vote has been suppressed. So that's...

Now, the reason why I'm not terribly optimistic is we have a new Attorney General. It's, yeah, have you seen this guy? It's the guy who snapped in full metal jacket. That's... And... This was after the photographer said smile. So, I call him curly because he's the bald stooge. And, you know, say what you want about Trump's other big fans.

At least Cesar Soyak took the time to paint on some hair. But this guy, Matthew Whitaker, the new attorney general, boy, does he love him some Donald Trump? everything Whitaker has said or written just amplifies Trump's unhinged narratives. He wrote an op-ed which said the Mueller investigation goes too far. He wants to indict Hillary Clinton. He's so far up Trump's ass,

Hannity had to scoot over. And it turns out before he got this job, he was involved with a company that defrauded money from aspiring investors. He was like the hard guy you know, beat it out of them. You know, Trump lives in this opposite world. He puts criminals in charge of the Justice Department.

Facts are lies. He's awake when he should be asleep. He talks out of his ass, but shit comes out of his mouth. This guy, Trump says he doesn't know Matthew Whitaker. We know Matthew Whitaker's been to the Oval Office many times. We have a tape of Trump on tape just from October saying, Whitaker's a great guy. I mean, I know Matthew Whitaker.

Sometimes I think Donald Trump is really a set of twins. I do. There's Donald Trump and Ronald Trump. And their masquerading is the same person, but sometimes they just can't get their story straight. And Republicans, they don't care anymore. There's no such thing anymore as how it looks. This election, they elected two indicted criminals

and a dead pimp. I'm not making that up. That should be the punchline. Bad, blah, blah, blah. Dead pimp. No, that's the true part. And Duncan Hunter from right down the road here in California under indictment. He's been here.

Nice guy. Criminal. Nice guy. His slogan was, a man with convictions. They don't care. And then Democrats, no luck. Last thing we need this week, Ruth Bader Ginsburg

broke three ribs. She says she's getting him, okay, but that is the last time she parties with Brett Kavanaugh. But let's end this monologue on a happy note. There was some good news. Let's not bury that completely for the Democrats. Diversity was a big winner on Tuesday.

More women, more minorities, more gay people. And just to screw with Trump, they plan on arriving in D.C. in a caravan. And also two Muslim women are now in Congress. It'll be great for the world to see that and hear that. Two Native Americans. Deb Highland from New Mexico and my favorite Kansas, fucking Kansas. Cherise David's, a lesbian mixed martial arts fighter.

Let's see Trump call her Pocahontas. All right, we got a great show. We got Brett Stevens, Cady Kay and Cornell Belcher. A little later, we'll be speaking with my friend. The very funny, Sarah Silverman is here. But first up, he is the journalistic icon, who is Associate Editor of the Washington Post. His 19th book is Fear, Trump in the White House.

We got him. Bob Woodward. It's nice to me like you need a hole in the head. You must have made a fortune off this one, and you deserved it. That is a good read, Fear. And a good title. You know, you could have had many titles. But that says it. That is the essential point. I think you're right about Donald Trump. Fear of other things like caravans coming and then fear of him. And what was so amazing interviewing him two years ago, he gave it to us. We asked about

what real power is. And he said real power is fear. And it was almost like Hamlet. in Shakespeare an aside saying, this is what it is. This is the driver. And so ever since then, I thought, this being out of his mouth, it's a way of scaring the bejesus out of people. That's the operating style. And his own party. I thought it was very telling that at his post-election,

I guess we can call it a press conference, although it looks like none we've ever seen before, He called out, not Democrats, people in his own party. This person didn't support me enough. They lost. You know, this, we've never, you know, Frank Sinatra used to do this with critics. When his older days, he'd be like, this dumb bra doesn't know a good tune when she hears it. You know, this is not presidential, but that's the fear.

He's putting, people ask why the Republicans fall in line behind him. They fear him, right? Yeah, and I think the country fears him, and so the world fears him. Well, they either fear him or love him. Yeah, but I think the bottom line in all of this, that the fear has worked, but we're in a governing crisis. I try in the book to deal with the substance, everything in foreign policy, everything in economic and domestic policy, and it's just, you know, he's gambling with who we are and what the country is and could win.

I think you are pretty much on my page about the fact that this is a lot worse than people think, and they think it's bad. But I keep saying, I don't think he's leaving. Even if he loses the election in 2020, and I think what you see going on right now in Florida, there's this recount. He's involved. He's already talking about it a lot. I think that's a

dress rehearsal for what we're going to see if he does lose in 2020. I do not see a scenario that we've seen on January 20th of the next year where he welcomes the winner graciously. I don't see that. But what, going back to Watergate 45 years ago, Nixon,

what was said about Nixon was that he had a lust for political power now we know you know Trump understands lust to say the least and it is part of his being to get power over people and to crush them to demean them as you point out people in his own party no one is free from that kind of lashing criticism. And what astonished me in working

on this book is getting close to the people who were close to him. And the closer they were, the more they worked with him, the more anxiety and fear and concern. So they would take documents

off his desk. The Secretary of Defense had to say, gee, because Trump's, why are we doing all of these things? investing in NATO. And finally, the Secretary of Defense said, well, we're doing all these things to prevent World War III. Now, think about that. This is a year into office that the president has to be tutored on what the job is.

Job one, prevent World War III. And, you know, I've done this for 47 years. And when I learned about that, I got a chill to think that that is going through somebody's mind of, oh, we don't need all this stuff. Let's just go it alone. Let's not waste all this money. We're suckers, Trump says. And then you hear it on the rallies last week, the same idea that somehow we're helping all these people in Europe.

in the Middle East by putting our troops there and all the generals to a single person are saying, no, no, no, this is the best money we spend. It's for our security, and he does not comprehend that. Trump does not. I know. Some of the people you write about in the book are gone now.

And I remember back in 2017, about a year ago, there was this talk about a sort of a suicide pact, metaphorically, of course, that some of the people in the administration were going to resign en masse. And I remember saying, no, that's not a good idea. Because those people who would not be my choices for the cabinet were still better than what's coming next. Rex Tillerson, oh, I miss him.

Gary Cohen. He was somebody who stood up to Trump. This was the A team. Not my choices, but like normal people, somewhat. Now we're getting the B-T. team. They talk about red lines a lot, you know, sessions. If he gets fired, it's a red line. This new guy, Whitaker, said, hmm, if they go into Trump's finances connecting with Russia, which is the whole connection, of course, red line. To me, this Whitaker guy, that's a red line. When you start putting the top cop of the country as just a stooge, just a guy who's there to do the bidding of the

supreme leader that's that's the slow-moving coup. But the question is how do you run the Justice Department which is supposed to deal with law, right? As we know, Trump really doesn't care much about law. He's going to do his own thing. It is he is his own person and we have this presidency which is a projection of his person. Yeah, that's unfortunate. Yeah. Because he's a malignant narcissist. And everything goes through that, I think.

I think that's the root of all the evil. But he's got ideas that... No, none of them. Well, yes, but they actually masquerade his ideas. But they really are views, and the staff will say, where did you get these ideas? And he said, oh, I've had them for 30 years. Yeah. And if you disagree, you're wrong.

you're wrong. End of argument. And he doesn't get them from reading. He gets them from the Department of People of Saying. But I think what reporters should start asking him is, or other Republicans, what about two terms for the president? Would you come out on record and say there is no situation in which a president can serve more than two terms?

If that's not a red line, and I bet you they hem and hall. Well, let's hope. I mean, that would be over a red line. That would be something... Well, you know, people. Start asking them. Okay. Ask Marco Rubio.

He sounds like an asshole about this today. But look, you have a lawyer? Do I need one? No. I mean, I need a bodyguard, is what I need. To exist. The lawyer is not going to cut it anymore. You have to have a lawyer.

Well, I have in the book, Trump's lawyer, John Dowd, eight months. They work together as closely as people can actually, and they're dealing with the Mueller, Russia investigation. And so they go through a practice session, and Dowd realizes that Trump cannot tell the truth. Right.

He makes up things. Yes. He lies. Yes. And he finally says, I will not sit next to you if you testify with Mueller, because I know you will wind up in an orange jumpsuit. Because you won't tell the truth.

And finally, Dow concludes that maybe Mueller has something, but that the core problem here is he didn't want to insult the president because he liked the president, he'd worked with him, but he said the real problem is you're a fucking liar. Bob Woodward. Enjoyed you for a long time. It's so great to get you on here. It's a great book.

Thank you. The great Bob Woodward, everybody. Thank you. Let's meet our panel. He is a Pulitzer Prize winning New York Times columnist and MSNBC contributor. Brett Stevens is back with us, Brett. How you doing? She's a BBC news anchor and co-author of the New York Times Best Order,

The Confidence Code for Girls. Caddy Kay. Caddy, good to see you. And first-timer, wanted him here for a long time. he was a pollster for President Obama's 2008 and 12 campaigns and author of a black man in the White House, Barack Obama, and the triggering of America's racial inversion crisis. Cornell Belcher, great to see you.

Don't begin to submit your questions for tonight's overtime, so we're going to answer them after the show on YouTube. So the Democrats won the House. They have the gavel, they have oversight, they can subpoenas, all that stuff. Will any of that matter? Yeah. It was a good night for the Democrats.

How will it matter? Look, they can now do things that they couldn't before. I know Democrats... How will it matter? Because they will be able to stop President Trump in acting more tax cuts than increasing inequality in this country. Oh, that stuff, yeah. Policy, yeah.

Yeah, there are policy stuff that they'll... But I'm asking about... They can subpoena the Mueller probe documents. If the Mueller... Okay. If Mueller's about to be fired, they could actually subpoena the documents. So they can have access to that. They can ask for the tax recurrence.

They can subpoena witnesses. They can subpoena documents. They can... look into sexual abuse allegations against the president. They can look into what his family has been doing, what his businesses have been doing. Has Trump... So we find out he's this horrible crook and criminal

and traitor. And what else do we learn? Right. Then what happens? I don't see a lot that they can actually do. I hear a lot of Democrats. I'm going to call for. Go ahead. Keep calling. Call into the wind. What can you force this man to do? How can you

force him out? How can you... Look, investigations that are mainly about what happened 20 or 30 years ago, if it's an endless fishing expedition to prove what we already know about the way Trump dealt with his finances or with his taxes or with his wives or with his girlfriends, I don't think are effective. If it's a question, for instance,

if the new acting AG, Mr. Whitaker, tries to quash the Mueller probe, then the best thing that Congress should do is issue subpoenas and threaten to impeach Whitaker if he does not allow the probe to go forward. And let the Republicans in the Senate block that. Let them own that fiasco. Look, Adam Schiff is now the chairman of the Intelligence Committee.

That's a big deal. I mean, we actually have, you know, members who will now investigate really what happened to Russia and perhaps we can stop it from happening again. I'm a little distraught that Democrats are so, and progress was so down about sort of the elections. We had a big fucking night. It was a really good night.

We changed a lot of what's happening in this country. I find that dangerous, that optimism. I don't know if we had a great night. Considering Donald Trump is the worst president and maybe the worst human, the fact that, you know, so many people still voted for him, we didn't turn the Senate.

You know, matter what they find or put out in front of the American people, does it matter if he can say it's fake news? And if half the people don't care. What did the midterm show at you? That Democrats are doing well in areas of the country that are growing. They're doing well in the suburbs and they're doing well with minorities.

Republicans are doing well in areas of the country that are not growing. They're doing well with men and white people. We heard this in 2016 and it won. It's still, yeah, because the demographics are moving still in the Democrats. But no, but even more than... There's no denying that this stage is Democrats. Overconfidence should not be in the Democratic playbook. I don't think Democrats are risk.

But it's not about confidence. This is a big, this is what happened on election night. Democrats pulled even with white women. Democrats haven't been competitive with white voters since Johnson signed the Civil Rights legislation and realigned the parties. Democrats won college-educated white voters. Hillary didn't

win college-educated white voters. Barack Obama didn't win college-educated white voters. This is part of the effect that Donald Trump's having. I mean, you know, this past Tuesday, a lot of brothers looked over at their white, college-educated white colleagues and said, thank you, thank you for helping.

We said, I was going to get you about what you did in 2016, but we are making progress. Hispanics turned out voted in bigger numbers than everyone, two-thirds than voted for Democrats. Look, I hate to be the Debbie Downer here, but look, the problem is that Republicans had, in some ways, an even bigger night in 2010, didn't help them in 12.

They had a huge night in 94, didn't help them in 96. We shouldn't suppose that what happens in this election is going to count in the only election that really matters, which is in 20. And if Democrats become complacent and convince themselves that they're going to win

and the demographics are behind them and the force of history. No, the opposite is happening. The Democrats are not at risk of complacency. They're a risk of snatching, defeat from the jaws of victory and thinking that was a terrible night. No, we're not saying it was a terrible night.

It just should have been... We're saying... You were running against Caligula. You should have done better. No, you should not. You're done better. And, yes. And also, let's not lose fact...

Lose sight of what is actual power. What is actual power? And power begets power. He has this man who is the Attorney General who doesn't believe in Marbury v. Madison. If you're not a history major, this was the 1803, the early days of the Republic, that established judicial review. He said the courts are supposed to be the inferior branch of our three branches of government. That's like on page one of that three equal branches of government, separation.

This is basic stuff. He wants us to have a biblical view of justice. It's because he's not just attacking a decision as a bad decision. You can imagine a Republican saying, okay, Roe v. Wade was incorrectly decided. I don't agree, but okay. But what he's attacking here is the structure of American government. And that's what's so frightening. It's happening by slow degrees, like a frog being, frog being born,

that you don't notice that this guy that you never heard of until three days ago is now the acting attorney general and doesn't believe in foundation. concepts of jurisprudence. I feel like I'm Pollyanna here, but if you are a Republican who is up from... You can always go to another country and be much happier. Yeah, like Brazil or the Philippines or Hungary. No, it's bad out there. I get it. It's bad out there.

I'm misgloom about the state of the world. Believe me. But I think this week, if you are a Republican, for example, who is up for re-election in 2020, if you are Susan Collins, if you're a Corrie Gardner, you have been put in a position now by this president over something like Matthew Whitaker where you may have to take a stand. Because Trump is... It's not going to get you reelected.

How is that worked out so? far. No, because they haven't been up for re-election. It's not going to get you elected this stuff. Okay. Well, by the way, Republicans still vote more. Like Florida, 62% of registered voters in Florida voted, but Miami-Dade

56%, Broward 57%, the rural county's top 70%. But Bill, we don't know, because they're still counting. Well, that makes my... I mean, they're still counting. Well, I don't think they're going to make up 13% of the vote. No, no, no, no. Gillum is now like 30-some-thousand votes in between

and there are a ton of votes still out in Brock County. I don't know if you... Florida screws up elections, but there's still a lot of votes being... They sure do. ...being counted out there. And look, the fact that we are dead even in Florida and that we're dead even in Georgia,

that says Democrats are making progress in these... They are making progress. They are making... And the best progress they're making is in the state houses. Yes. The best progress we made last night. Tuesday night, it was not any person, well, yes, it's many

people, but it's the fact that we are starting to get back those levers where they can't suppress the vote, starting to reform gerrymandering. And the governor's mansion. And the governor's mansions who controls that kind of stuff. The really crazy shit happens in the state

legislates, right? That we've won almost 400 state legacies. Again, that's a big deal. And the fact that women voted and ran and won in record numbers. That was a big deal when women decided. So, look, all I'm going to say is

if... I'm so glad. I've spent the last two years being missed. If you think that an election, which Democrats should have walked away with, with decisive, huge victories in both houses, ends in this kind of stalemated result,

isn't a warning to Democrats that they have to be very careful about what they're doing for the next two years, you're walking into a eight or 20-year Trump presidency, neither of which we ought to want. Exactly. Millennials, 30% voted. That's better than ever, and still horrible.

If 80% had voted, they could run the country. They could be the president. But truth of the matter is, you still, look, there's still some parts of this country where the racial antagonism and an aversion is strong. And it's going to win out. Democrats aren't going to be able to compete in a lot

of these states that are growing smaller, less diverse, and they're losing a great deal of population. If you look at the big states that matter most in the 2020, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, Ohio, Michigan, Michigan. Those are states where Democrats have made progress, and certainly Democrats are running better

than what Hillary Clinton did the last time around. It's not perfect, but, my God, it was a good night. But there was also the fact, I mean, unemployment's at its lowest level since 1969. Growth is at 3.7%. Yeah, but not good job. What, 3.5. The wages are ticking up. No, but that's another...

But so in 2020, I don't know whether... You're the economist. I'm not the economist, but... No, he's not an economist. No, but that's an important point, which we miss, which is that Democrats aren't taking into account the fact that as in countries like Turkey and Putin in the early years of the...

Turkey and Russian, the early years of the Putin and Erdogan dictatorships, you had economic growth along with the corrosion of institutions. and that is a recipe for real trouble four or five years down the road. When you've hollowed out your institutional base and you've strengthened people into kind of cult of personality figures,

that should be a warning to every American. And he hasn't even played the war card. Okay, so people in this state vote on ballot initiatives. Did you vote? You all voted for those. These things really pissed me off. Because, well, first of all, when I'm looking at, I'm like, why don't you people in the legislature, or do your job. Why am I voting on everything?

That's what we elect you to do. It's like when the singer goes, hey, you sing. Fuck you. I pay, you sing. And then a lot of times it's like, oh, this is for clean water. Doesn't regular taxes pay for that? That's extra? That's not... Okay. I found out

lots of... Such as California, there's these ballot initiatives all over the country. Some of them are so ridiculous. We voted on daylight savings time here. Would you like to hear some of the ones from around the country? Because some of these are just... Texas passed Prop 22,

raising the legal purchasing age for an assault weapon to four. Utah passed Measure C, which requires male horses to wear underwear. That's... Hawaii passed Prop 61, which makes it illegal to Bogart a joint. I thought that was...

Tennessee had ballot measure 5, which makes it a Class B to visit the Creation Museum, ironically. New Jersey Pass measure S which requires every Italian restaurant in the stage

I have a signed photo of a cast number of a subprudence just read it at a hard week Florida's measure 30 requires every fifth incident of teachers

having sex with students to be followed by a five-year-old who drives home because his mom is drunk Vermont passed Proposition 3. New residents will be required to open and close a used bookstore. I'm glad you're on my page with this, no, thank you.

Cornell's Prop 10 makes it a felony, punishable by death, for a sitcom character to say, well, that went well. And in Oregon, residents of Beaverton still have to admit, it's still a little funny. All right. She is an actress, comedian, host of Hulus.

I love you, America. Now, when it's second season, my favorite, Sarah Silverman is over here. Show you do. Live television. I don't know how you do it. I don't know either. Well, as you can see, I'm starting to lose it. It always happens at the end of the season.

Anyway, before we get to the politics, congratulations. You got your walk. Your walk, your star on the Walk of Fame today. There it is. Oh, my God. Welcome to the club. I'll be honest. I have one.

You do? It's right next to Gary Busey. Oh, you're kidding. Not the star, actually, Gary Bucy. Oh, we're Gary Bucy. You know, in a time bill where anti-Semitic crime

is up 57% since this douchebag has taken office, it is not lost on me that I am very lucky that I get a star and I don't have to sew it on my clothes. Oh. You didn't.

I did. I don't know if that's Gallo's humor or just like it's funny because it's true humor. Well, I think it's, they love Sarah Silverman humor. Oh, thanks. No, I meant that genuinely.

Me too. You know, when you're a comic and everyone thinks you're sarcastic to go, I love your dress. They go, fuck you. Exactly. So your show is fantastic. I was on it this week.

I was honored to be there. And, you know, you do a great service. You go out and you talk to people who are outside of our little bubble here in Hifsterville. And you don't even know what oat milk is. Poor dears. And do you think you're changing any minds out there?

Probably not. Yeah. But I'm changing minds. I mean, not politically, not ideologically, but you do realize there's a difference, a bit of a difference between the liars and the lied to. Do they, though? No, of course not. They don't know their lied to.

It's like cults. Cults don't know their cults. Right. Well, and one good thing, though, I must say about Trump is, I never thought I'd even say those words. No. But he has sort of broken down certain norms that we lived with for a lot. long time that didn't really make sense, like extramarital affairs. I mean, I was arguing with

that in the Clinton days. It doesn't really matter. That's private. It doesn't... I remember they used to say, if he cheats on his wife, is he going to cheat on the country? No. It doesn't make any sense. You can cheat on your wife all day long and still be a good president. We've had many who did. Another one, language.

Beto said, I love the fuck out of you guys at his rally. Years ago, that would have been a big deal because he said, fuck. No, nobody gives a fuck. It's true. And I like when people use fuck in a positive way. That's how my dad...

I always grew up with my dad says fuck every other word, but he's a joyful guy. I'm such a fucking lucky guy. You know, like he's... It's joyful, and I think that's nice. I don't like when Trump says stuff like stupid and loser and stuff like that. To me, that's... You know, I'm not the word police.

He can say it. But it just says so much about himself. And we all know he's really kind of at this arrested development at about eight years old. Genuinely. This isn't a... Yeah. And I would have great compassion for him if he wasn't

hurting people's lives. But those are words that children say before they learn that they're not nice words, you know? You're a loser. You're stupid. It's such a bad karma. What about shit? I have...

Okay, you're setting me up and I... But I do have a theory about this thing. I brought up fuck so you would say shit. Oh, you did? I don't know. Everything goes out the window once I'm sitting here, but I think the... This sounds silly, but we all, of course, on this show, where I'm on, too, we can say shit, fuck, cunt, twat. But only those. It makes it really hard.

You have to figure it. But the rest of the country on television, we just, and everything, we accept that the word shit is obscene, that it's a swear. And it just means poop. It just means crap. There's no reason it should be considered obscene or a swear at all. But we don't question things that are just the way they are. And I think that it's an example of how it's so fucking hard to have any progress because we don't question anything.

Nobody says, why is shit bleeped on TV? It just means poop. Poop isn't bleeped. Crap isn't bleeped. I'm sorry. You hate that time. No, I... It doesn't like duty humor.

But he loves me. Isn't that the great idea? But you're not saying this is the most important issue. No, I'm saying it's the least important. It's the least important issue. But it's just an example of how we don't question anything that is just how it's been. Well, speaking of questioning, what did you think of Jim Acosta there getting... Jim Acosted? He just made that up.

Someone must have made that up several times. Yeah, must have. But that was a pretty amazing thing to get thrown out of the press room. and also to have a press secretary, Sarah Suckabee Sanders, present a... You said Suckabee. I did? Yeah. I meant succubus.

I didn't mean that. See, we're both losing it. But to submit a doctored tape, like one degree... From InfoWords. Exactly. That's... They get their news from Info Wars. I can't...

It's par for the course of an authoritarian government. You know, I mean, it's he... it's not even dog whistles anymore. It's full on, who's a racist boy? Yes, you are. It's not subtle. He's doing it right in front of our fucking faces.

But there have to be bad words. I mean, you've got a president who's shit, and we've become accustomed to that. So what words are there for that? Nice one. Thank you. Being funny. So, can I ask you about guns?

Because we had another horrible tragedy this week, right here in California, very close to him. here. And I know this is an issue that you have treated about a lot, talked about a lot, done on your show a lot. Was there anything new to say? No, there's nothing new to say. It's, there should be gun

reform, whatever. I mean, the NRA is holding, you know, I think it's a positive thing that a lot of Democrats beat grade A, NRA Republicans that have, you know, this midterms, and they have F grades and it showed that it didn't

matter. So, I mean, you know, it is, it's just kind of bananas, but again, we have a president who, you know, it's been exactly two weeks since he announced he was a nationalist and in that time there's been two mass shootings

and 14 bombs sent to every single, you know, person that he targets in his speeches, his rhetoric over and over again. He knows that he can start a fight and he doesn't have to finish it because someone else will finish it for him and that's his role in

domestic terrorism. sounded so smart. Now that the fascists are in the White House, though, I'm glad some liberals have guns. Well, listen, I do. I think about having guns. Oh, forget me. No, no, you go.

I think about it. I absolutely think about it. I should learn how to use a gun. I have mace that's always in my backpack. And now I started sleeping with it close by. Oh, God. I don't even want to admit it. But it's true.

We're living in, working scary times. Who is everybody in? answer this. Who is the best shot that the Democrats have for 2020? I know it's only three days after the election, but I want everyone to give me your choice or what you think should happen. I think it's too early. I know it's not the answer

you want to hear, but whoever is the frontrunner, historically the Democrat frontrunner, does not do well early on. I tell you right now, there is a hunger for it, for new leadership that's out there and whoever I think can win South Carolina, I think, because of it.

the diversity of the Democratic Party is going to do well. So the candidate, I think, who can win South Carolina is probably going to be the Democratic nominee. I think you need a candidate who is from a place as far from an ocean as possible. You need a purple state candidate who knows how to talk to Republicans. He really think that matters where they're from.

Trump is from New York. No, that's not my... And he won over all the hits. Obviously, I'm speaking metaphorically here, but my point here... I thought you were meant, literally. My point here is you need... You need someone like the John Hickenlooper of Colorado.

Oh, please. No, absolutely. You need a guy who is able... He changed his name for politics. He just needs to change his name. I just don't know. I really do. You cannot do.

President Hickenlooper. What was his name originally, I wonder. I'm surprised by how many Democrats say kind of almost under their breaths, We can't run a woman against Trump as if she'll be mowed down somehow. I think they should run a woman against Trump. No, I think that's a great idea. In that case, run someone like Maggie Hasson of New Hampshire.

But here's the problem. Here's the problem with that conventional thinking. We don't get even close to winning Georgia if we run that conventional. Last conventional candidate, they ran in Georgia and lost by 200,000 votes. It's that sort of thinking, sort of insider statusful thinking that keeps us boxed in. You know what? Barack Obama was no one's first choice. And you know what? That black guy with a Muslim name won back-to-back majorities.

When was the last time a Republican did that? Right? We've got to stop thinking about these establishments, straight ahead candidates. Thank God all these women ran. Because you know what? We probably wouldn't have won back the house. Yeah. When Democrats take over the House in January, they owe it to women. And that's not why they should run a woman. They should run a woman because tons of women actually are motivated at the moment to support other women. And I think the Brett Kavanaugh effect has actually been not to deprive Democrats of votes.

it's been to motivate women to go to the polls. And women are better. Specifically. Yeah. And women are bad. That's out. Bill would like it on takeover and run things and don't become old white men.

And also, you know why? Because at some point you bait the bear and he will say something that will... O bait the bear. Having a female candidate. He won't be able to stop himself because of who he is.

He will say something and do something. And that seemed to have worked... I think Trump fantasizes about running against... Yeah, it did work. someone like Elizabeth Warren. And I'm sorry that that's, I mean, you're talking about the reality. Do you want to win or do you want to be inspired? I think it would be better to win.

Well, here's the, here, and look. I would do with Kamala Harris over Elizabeth Warren. Let me throw out some names. And I, what I think is that we should, what we're going to do, we're going to have a primary campaign and the people will decide. And that's how it should be. And this time, I hope the Democrats pay attention to who gets big crowds. Because Hillary couldn't.

I think she would have been a fine president But that's the Elizabeth Warren argument Because she did get big crowds Yeah, I'm not sure But I'm not sure she's the candidate But I'm not so sure she doesn't remind people too much Of Hillary Clinton And that is one thing we have to stay away from

And we don't know if Kamala Harris could get big crowds Because she's never really been tested in that much Sarah's about to agree with me So I think it's important I was Go ahead Well just that I think that's what you're saying

Is whoever it is Come out late It's like you know how they they hold the big Oscar movies until right before the nomination. I do think there is something to it because people get used to people and then they go, what's that shiny object? That's right. And there's more stuff they can find out about your.

That's what Obama did. He was smart. Chris Christie, the opposite. He could have had the nomination in 2012. But he didn't. He waited too long and then his fat ass got in trouble. I'm not sure he was racist enough either. We're allowed to fat shame.

They're allowed to fat shame if they're Republican. Don't you know the rules? I'm like Trump. Oh, we are? Yes, of course. We're the blue team. We cheer for us and hate that. There's no principles.

Okay, but here's the thing. The Democrats, now, I think Beto and our governor here, Gavin Newsom, are the two white guys who have some pizzazz. Other than that, I think all the, all the pizzazz.

Who? Mitch Landrew. Yep. Mayor of I know. We had him on. I know about that. But other than that, I think all the star power in the Democratic Party is African-American. Gillum. I'm sorry.

And how are they going to deal with that? Woo! What's your connection? But there's Gillum, right? You mentioned Kamala Harris. I think Eric Holder's pretty fantastic. Corey Booker. Corey Booker, and I'm leaving... Deval Patrick?

Oprah. You know, I mean... Stop her. She's a real billionaire. Yeah, right. She is a real billionaire. So, Michael Avenatti said, I think it better be a white male.

He then went on to say, should it carry more weight? Absolutely not. He's not saying it should be that way. He's saying in America, if you want to win, when you have a white male making the arguments, they carry more weight.

Yeah. That's almost a definite. Of the recognition of racism. And everything. Well, he's not saying it's... I think he's basically saying it should be me, right? I think that's what he said, yes. No, I...

So, if we had to pick today, the best person to defeat Donald Trump... Negan. Who? A fucking dead reference. You didn't get it, Grandpa. Is he laughing? Okay.

Interesting. So what about the Republican side? Could there possibly be a primary challenger? Could Mitt Romney somehow stop being a rudderless weather vein, find his balls inside of his magic underwear, and take on Donald Trump, under the banner of Republican classic. There used to be a Republican Party.

Donald Trump took it over and changed it and made it is something completely different, and I want to run as Republican classic. We see them on TV all the time. You're one of them? No, I'm not. I used to be. You're not a Republican classic? Well, I don't know what that is.

I used to be a Republican until about three years ago. Okay. But many of your positions are classic Republican positions. So, look, I mean, the only way a Republican is going to defeat Trump in a primary is if there is, say, a catastrophic war with North Korea or a devastating, recession or some other kind of calamity. So none of those seem like very appealing ways to go. What about tons of mass shootings on an epic scale?

Well, the disgrace is that we shrug after five days after each one of them. And until we start thinking beyond, you know, tepid gun control measures and start rethinking the Second Amendment, that's going to go absolutely nowhere. But who is we? Is it us or is it the people representing us who are taking money from the NRA in various places who aren't representing us. It's not just the NRA, though. Lots of people in America legitimately like their guns.

I fucking love guns. Okay, well, there you go. I mean, the counties in Florida, where the county where Parkland High School was, again, we don't have all the votes, but they didn't look like they came out in great numbers. The party belongs to Trump now. It is almost like a cult of Trump.

They are more, they stay more loyal to Trump than they did to George Bush. And the truth of the matter is, unless you're going to run to the right of Trump around racial anxiety. Unless Mitt Romney's literally going to start flogging immigrants on television, he's not going to beat Donald Trump in a primary. I'm sorry. You're the comedian. I'm taking your stuff. No, no, please do. We love a comment here. Sorry. But we're not, we're not expecting that he, that, that, that, that,

that, that, that's not, we're just expecting that if he drew out 20% of the vote, that would elect the Democrat. That's what a real patriot would do. Third party. Run as a third party. Yes, he would have to run as a third party. Yes. Classic. And that And that could form the genesis of a new party sometime down the road, just as the Republican Party replaced the wigs in the 1850s, but it has... I have to wrap it up. Thank you, panel. No.

But it is time for new rules. New rules. New rules. Okay. New rule, you're rich and fat. Buy a looser shirt. Here's how you can tell your collar's too tight when it gives you camel throat. Nothing is fun.

New Rule. If you don't want people to believe you just punched a guy in the face over a parking space, don't come out of the police station with a look that says, I'll punch you in the face, too. New Rule, hipsters must end the new trend of bringing their babies to bars. Babies are cockblocks. The last thing you want to see before having sex with a stranger you met in a bar is the consequences of having sex

with a stranger you met in a bar. New Rule, instead of going through all the expense, inconvenience, boredom and discomfort of ice fishing, just tell your wife you hate her. I love our time together, honey. I'd just rather sit out in the snow freezing by myself or hours staring in a hole.

New Rule, before I use this new emoji, someone has to tell me what the hell it means? Is it, I like you, but I'm drunk? call 911, I'm having a stroke, or the Sarah Huckabee Sanders stink eye. And finally, new rule, the next time you hear someone say, you may be cursed to live in interesting times,

punch them in the face, because after two years of Trump chaos, that line isn't cute anymore. In fact, you have my blessing, as your political rabbi, to take the rest of the year off from following politics. But not till next week

because we have one more show. But 2018 has been a year, I think, in which we all asked ourselves, how could something seem so endless and yet also go by so fast? It's like if Quentin Tarantino made Gone with the Wind and you're watching it on an airplane and the airplane is crashing into a mountain

of cocaine. Trump is the Santa Claus of chaos and every night is Christmas Eve. He's somehow, everywhere in the world. Only he's not bringing you anything. He's breaking the shit you already have. That's him on the roof. Now he's

coming down the chimney and eating your cookies. Now he's kissing mommy and grabbing her pussy. He's the gift that never stops taking. Each morning, you confront the news. With the same thought, Stormy Daniel said she had when Trump sat down next to her on the bed.

Ugh. Here we go. By the way, Michael Cohen paid Stormy to go away, but Stormy did not go away. She stuck to Trump all year like toilet paper on a shoe. Anyway, every day, it seems like it's the same thing. You open your news feed. Face palm.

In fact, I think as long as Trump is president, the face palm should replace the handshake. That's a way for two people greeting each other to acknowledge, yes, everything is a shit show and no, there's nothing new to say about it. Hey, Bob, how you doing? Hi, Sarah. Now, all year long, and going back

to before the election, I have been calling the Trump phenomenon a slow moving coup. Well, this week, it started moving a little faster. Matthew Whitaker, this is what I'm talking about. In third world dictatorships, the chief law enforcement officer's

main qualification is He doesn't enforce the law. Officials of independent mind are hounded out or shoved aside. This isn't a cabinet anymore. It's the Queen's Corgi's. Whitaker wants to shut down the Russian investigation, despite the fact that in March, against the advice of everyone,

Trump called Putin to congratulate him on winning his election, and also our election. He then met Putin in July, and that meeting, secret. His deal with Kim Jong-un, secret. His taxes, secret. What is happening to America? We know less about our government

than what goes into jerky. In mid-2017, I first read you my dictator checklist. But since this week is the week we now have added, install your personal protector as head of the Justice Department, after adding in September,

install your personal protector on the highest court. Let's review the news. dictator list one more time. You're a narcissist who likes to see his name and face on buildings. You appoint family members to positions of power. You hold rallies even when you're not running and they are scary. You talk about jailing the press and political opponents. You want to hold military parades and muse openly about being president for life. You use your office for personal financial gain. You love other dictators. You lie.

so freely your supporters don't know what the truth is anymore and don't care. For a coup to work, it is first necessary for truth itself to be destroyed, as well as the people who try to report it. So the dictator is free to say anything and his followers believe it. Adding to that dictator checklist, we now have state TV in this country, an actual propaganda a channel where the reporters openly endorsed the leader and we have people who oversee the elections they are running

in. In August of this year, Trump's semi-liquid mob mouthpiece Gouie Giuliani said truth isn't truth. Ah, this has been deep thoughts with Nosferatu.

Truth isn't truth? So truth isn't truth. The press is the enemy of the people. There are alternative facts. There's no proof of anything. What you see and here isn't what's happening. And you know, at some point people go, you know what? Fine. Fuck it. Truth isn't

truth. Facts aren't. Facts aren't. Facts. What I see isn't happening. Nothing is real and nothing to get hung about. Strawberry Field forever. Please pass the joint or some crack because I can still reason and it hurts. Thank you very much, everybody.

You've been warned. All right. I want to thank my guest Brett Stevens, Cathy K, Cordell, Belcher, Sarah Silverman, Bob Woodward, join us down for overtime on YouTube. Thank you, folks. Catch all new episodes of Real Time with Bill Maher every Friday night at 10, or watch them anytime on HBO On Demand.

For more information, log on to HBO.com.