Real Time with Bill Maher - Ep. #494: Jay Inslee, Moby

Episode Date: May 4, 2019

Bill’s guests are Jay Inslee, Moby, Bakari Sellers, Bret Stephens, and Kara Swisher. (Originally aired 5/3/19) See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO late-night series, Real Time with Bill Maugh. Start the clock. It's very exciting when you have a constitutional crisis. We are so fucked. I'm telling you, we are...

Today, Venezuela put us on the travel advisory. I'm telling you, if America was a summer blockbuster, it would be called Democracy Endgame. And if you missed the earlier installments in this franchise, started with Russia interfered. This is the, you know, nobody disagrees with this in the Mueller report. Russia interfered with our election in 20th.

That was the finding of that report. And this week we found out that Robert Mueller wrote more than one letter to the Attorney General, wink, wink. William Barr saying, why did you mischaracterize what I wrote? And Barr responded, well, the report was my baby. My baby. I thought Republicans were against killing babies.

This Bill Barr is so far up Trump's ass. He bumped into Hannity. So Barr went before the Senate this week on Wednesday, and the Democrats looked all so happy after his own with that. They gave him a good grilling. I think they're missing the big picture. Trump is still president. And the big gotcha was they got Barr to commit perjury,

which apparently is some old-timey law about lying being wrong. You know, Nancy Pelosi said, that's a crime, and I'm going to report it to, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. See, this is the problem when the guy who is supposed to be enforcing the law is the guy who is breaking the law. Yeah, the Justice Department had a deadline this week to provide the unredacted version.

of the Mueller report, they just blew it off. Because this is called owning the libs. This is all they care about. The lamer, the excuse, the better, because the more we're owned. Oh, the lame excuse. They said they couldn't get their report over there because the printer jammed.

And then they went to Kinko's, but some kid was doing flyers for his band. I mean, so... And then, you know, the attorney general was himself subpoenaed by the house to appear yesterday. today blew that off. And Congress was like, you know we both

work for the same country, right? So legal experts are now saying that, you know, this is a constitutional crisis, the likes of which we have not seen in three or four days. Not showing up. When did testifying before

Congress become optional? It's Congress, not freshman psych class. And Democrats don't seem to get it. you know, it's in the rules. It's not an argument that works on Donald Trump. You're playing monopoly with a hyena. When it bites you and shits on the board, saying, it's not your turn, doesn't really work.

So the good news is Trump finally today sat down and talked to someone about Russia gig. The bad news is it was Vladimir Putin. I wish that was the joke. That's absolutely true. He usually they just sexed each other, but... Today, they actually got on the phone for an hour. You know, the famous red phone, the hotline to Moscow. Well, now it's a pink princess phone.

You know, maybe it would help if Democrats just change their names to more Russian-sounding names. Maybe Trump would be more willing to talk to Adam Schifsky and Nancy Polokovic. And... As if all that is not enough to give me a coronary this week, Hillary Clinton is stealing my act. I'm watching Rachel Maddow the other day, and this is what she said.

China, if you're listening, why don't you get Trump's tax returns? Okay. Here's our show from last August. And since we now accept that it's okay to merge your party with a foreign power, I'd like to be the first member of the resistance to say, China, if you're listening, I hope you can find Donald Trump's tax returns. What is this real time with crooked Hillary?

Hillary, if you wanted material, you should have asked me before the election. All right, we got a great show. Brett Stevens, Carlos, Fisher, Baraki, Bakari sellers, and a little bit of me speaking with, Moby is here. Hey. First up, he is the governor of Washington State

and a 2020 Democratic presidential candidate, Governor Jay Inslee, Governor. Good to see you again. Thank you. Yeah. Nice place to be. Yes. Seems like you were just here.

You're back. Last time you heard you were not a presidential candidate. Now you are. So is there any increased stature or just... No, no more money. No, no. But, you know, we have the Green Party in years past. They didn't get much.

it seems like you're now a one-man green party. You've kind of made that, you're sort of a one-issue candidate, which I think is the issue. I've always said that, the most important issue. Is that a fair way to characterize it? You are the Green Party within the Democratic Party? No, I would rephrase it that I am the Democratic one-man person who intends to make Donald Trump a blip in history.

That's what I would say, what I am. And I believe that that's... Right. No. Look, look, I'm a Democrat, and I got into this race. because I know we have one last chance to defeat climate change. And it is a last chance. We've kicked the count down the road for 30 years.

And I got it in this race because I've got three grandkids. And I'm going to look them in the eye and make sure I've told them I've done everything I could. It's amazing. In the last presidential election, in the debates, it wasn't even an issue that came up. Four minutes. It's four minutes. Even among the Democrats. Yeah. Right. So this time it's going to be different.

Well, this is why I'm pushing the party to have a debate exclusively around climate. Right. No, I think we're all on the page that has to at least be in the debate. But here's the problem. Climate change initiatives were on the ballot in 2018. Almost every state said no. And when you ask, even people, people have come around now to agreeing, yes, it is a problem. It's man-made.

We should do something. When the next question is, would you be willing to spend $10 a month? 68% of people say no. So they don't put the money where the mouth is. How do we get around that? we make sure that the people paying the $10 a month are the oil companies. We're taking $27 billion of tax

subsidies. We've got to retrieve that $27 billion and to put it in clean energy. And today I rolled out a big, bold, and ambitious program because we're a big, bold, ambitious country that in fact will put the onus on them. You know, they always talk about the Republicans. Well, how are you going to pay for it?

How are they going to pay for Paradise, California that burned down? Yeah, I asked the question. I didn't have a house, okay? But, I mean, at some point, I mean, people talk about a carbon tax, which I think is a terrible name. As usual, Democrats, bad at naming things. Call it a pro-life initiative, maybe, you know,

pro-life on Earth. You know, something, okay. But at some point, we are going to have to make it a cost to be a polluter or just a pig, or just sloppy. And we are afraid, as always in America, to confront the people. Yeah. Well, look, I, we're not.

confronting the people. We're standing with them. And I'll tell you what we did today. I rolled out this plan to defeat climate change with Mayor Garcetti with me that will do three things. Number one, it will guarantee Americans that we have 100% clean electricity. No coal after 2030.

We need to wean ourselves off of coal. Okay, but let me stop you there. I hear this all the time. Electricity is not brought by a ferry. Yes. I don't know what you mean, but... What I mean is people think it's free. The sun, that doesn't cause any pollution.

Wind doesn't. Right. Not electricity. Electricity comes from natural gas, oil, coal. So I have an electric car, but when I plug it in, that electricity came from somewhere other than just free. Well, today I was at the bus barn with Mayor Garcetti, where they are charging electric buses with solar panels right in the charging line. Solar panels. And we have to understand what has happened.

The coal plants have gone from a thousand. plants to about 300 because they just aren't competitive. And we have to understand that we are the most innovative country in world history. And today, clean energy jobs are going... Not for a long time. Twice as fast. Clean energy jobs are going twice as fast as the rest of the economy. And look at wind turbines don't cause cancer.

Trump is wrong. They cause jobs, okay? They cause jobs. And that's what we believe in. Yeah. I mean, look, we are still the great innovators in tech. And I think people think we can invent our way out of this. out of this, but I don't think we can't. I don't think you can invent your way out of...

Well, I'm going to beg to differ a little bit. Look, look at what's happened in solar energy. I wrote a co-author of a book in 2007 about this, and I said, solar is going to come on like gangbusters. Since that time, the cost of solar energy has come down 80%, and it's continuing to drop. The cost of

wind power has come down 20%. Okay, but what percentage of the grid is sun and solar? Small now. It's like 6, 8, 9%. Okay, so it didn't come on like Garmuster. Well, no, it is. It's growing at 300, 300%, 300% a year. But we can get... Let me give an example what I mean by this.

Just one factual example. They say we can't achieve my goal, which is to have electric cars by 2030. Look at what we did. All electric cars. That's correct. The new cars that you start buying in 2030. That's in my proposal. In 1940, the United States total made 77 Jeeps.

Four years later, we had made 640,000. If we mobilize this nation, we can build a clean energy economy. We just need a can-do president. Also, when World War II got started, you know what? We stopped making? Cars. Well, no cars. Really.

Well, this time... Turned it all into tank factories and plane factory. The only cars were like big cars for generals to ride around with the flag at the front. But that's a different generation. This time we're going to have cars. Okay. We're going to have electric cars like I have. Look, I argue with Megan McCain.

She said, you don't have any cars. I said, look out of a GM bolt, all-electric bolt, made by American auto workers in Orion, Michigan. That's a destiny for America for jobs in this country. Okay. But important question. They're all of you. You're arguing with Megan McCain?

No, that's not the question. What about nuclear? Now, that's one that divides liberals. I'm, I mean, you ask me one day. I'm for it. I'm against it. I don't know. I mean, obviously it's clean. It's also like if there's a problem, it's ultra-dirty

and really bad. Where are you on that? My view is that we have to be serious about any potential zero-low-carburt system. So yes. Well, if, this is an if, if you can make it cost effective, if you can make it safer, and if you can resolve the

nuclear waste problem. If you can do those things, it could be part of the possibility. No. No, but you've got to do it. Because we haven't done those things for decades. So here's what I believe. I believe we should do research and development to find out whether or not we can surmount those problems. And if we can, it could be

part of the solution. So I support that R&D because this is an urgent problem. That's my view. Okay. So I'm with you both ways. All right. Thank you very much for doing this. It's a great issue, and I'm glad somebody is taking them out. You're going to mention jayzeu.com. I'm not six to five times. All right. Thank you. Okay. It's like being on a boat.

I know. All right. He is a Pulitzer Prize winning columnist for the New York Times, and an MSNBC contributor. Brett Stevens is over here. Brett Stevens. Oh, yeah. He's a former South Carolina state legislator

in CNN political analyst. Bari Sellers right over here. Hey. And she's a co-founder and editor-at-large of Recode, host of the Recode Decode and Pivot Podcast and New York Times contributing opinion writer, Kara Swisher. Great to see you.

Don't forget to send us your questions for tonight's overtime. We can answer them after the show on YouTube. Okay, so if you're fans of the slow-moving coup that I've been advertising here since 2016, this was a good week for you. And I remember after the midterms, you know, there was a lot of euphoria, which I was frankly not participating in. And, you know, people were saying, well, you know what? Now we got subpoena power. Yeah.

Apparently not. Apparently not. Apparently not. So my question, what do you do when the guy who you want to arrest is the guy who decides who gets arrested? That's kind of a pickle for a country. Brett, you start with that. I mean, look, Trump is doing what he does best, which is he's baiting liberals, and he's doing it very successfully. And the right response isn't to say, oh, my God, this is a constitutional crisis.

This is Watergate times 10. it may be all those things, but what really matters is how are you going to defeat him, how are you going to humiliate him, how are you going to belittle him, and how are you going to put him in his place so he is defeatable next November?

And the answer is, you seal clap just like Nancy Pelosi. That's how you get Donald Trump. But I also think that we are in a constitutional crisis, and this is on the level of Watergate, and this is... Way worse. Worse than Watergate.

but I do think you're dealing with the president who is a George Wallace and Richard Nixon combination. And so when you're dealing with this type of individual, and now you have an attorney general, and I don't know what you all want to call him, but he's a liar. And the attorney general, Democrats have to be focused on impeaching him and holding him in contempt.

You have things you can do. They can hold him in contempt and impeach him. And you can go for the, like, Barr, like the others, the ones that were putting on the Fed, you can go after those people. I think the problem you have here is we've got someone who does everything in public, and that's what's fascinating about it. He advertises it on Twitter every morning what he's going to do that day,

what thing he's going to violate. And so the question is, how do you do that one? How do you shame someone who's shameless? It's almost impossible, right? If he was a poker player, he would be all tells. Yeah. But I also... It's only tells.

I also think that the genius. At the hearing, we saw Senator Harris just skewer Bill Barr. I mean, we found out that. Well, you saw it, because you watch the channels I watch. Yeah, I'm the only person watching C-SPAN watching this. Yeah, most of America don't care. But I mean, what we... But that's the thing, and you're correct,

because Democrats now, we have to make America care. I mean, if there's anyone who does not care that we're in a constitutional crisis, then we need to be beaten down their door and giving them a reason to vote for it. No, but this is, I mean, I'm sorry, but this is like when your child comes home and says, you know, daddy, daddy,

so-and-so was mean to me today and said, this and this, and this, And then they said that and that and that. And then you say, well, you know what you should do is just very quietly when you see him the next time, go up to Johnny and just kick him in the shits. Okay, but... But wait a second. Come on.

This is a real thing when you get a subpoena from Congress. This isn't some bullshit. This is a real thing. Look, you just mentioned impeachment, right? What are we talking about here? He's going to be impeached and then what? Well, I mean, and then what? That doesn't mean...

Well, no. That doesn't mean that the Constitution just dies. Yeah, I know. There is no answer. You're right. You have to, I mean, but you still, just because we know that the Senate will not throw them out, the same thing with Donald Trump, you still have to give the Constitution as power. No one in this country is above the law.

And we allow Donald Trump and Bill Barr to act as if they're above the law, then we're not doing our job. In your best case scenario, Mike Pence becomes president. Or it becomes the election. Well, that would be better. It's about the election and who's going to win the election. I think that's really where it comes down to. Because ultimately, you're right.

What happens with impeachment? It just is. It just sits there. And there is a version of, there was a great story in the New York Times recently, but there's Democratic Twitter, and then there's Democrats. And I think that's a big deal.

I want to get to that. And you know what? The Twitter thing, especially with Trump, he makes Twitter his bitch. Well, yeah. And like I said, it's all about owning the libs. You know, that's what they are out for. And I tell you something,

I feel owned now. You have succeeded. This week, when this guy said, you know what, I'm subpoenaed before Congress, fuck you, I'm not showing up. You're right. And we can't do anything else. I am owned. Right.

So, you know, there's 21 people now on the... 21. 22 next week. Who? Bill DeBosia. Oh, for fuck sake. It's not even a horse race. It's a running of the bulls at this point.

We're renting news here. And who got in this week? Michael Bennett, Senator Michael Bennett. Michael Bennett. Yeah. What's his slogan? Google me? Right.

Okay. So my point is, all you 22 people who are running. Yeah. You're asking, what can you do to get my vote? Make me not feel owned. Who is going to make me feel like, oh, I'm not going to be owned in two years? But this election has to be about more. We have to give people a reason to show up and vote for us.

I tell people often, the couch, the couch is always on the ballot. And what happened in 2016 is that people in Wisconsin, people in Michigan, people in Pennsylvania, a good bit of them chose the couch. They didn't want to come out and support Hillary Clinton. But what you need... No, no, no, and I was just simply saying that it's one thing to say that I'm against Donald Trump. We have known that Donald Trump has been full of shit since 2016, right? That was not enough.

We have to give people a reason of hope for it. What you need is someone who is largely... and I don't mean waistline, larger than the president. I mean, someone who has a kind of moral stature and talks about what is the real Achilles' heel of this presidency, which is he embarrasses America. Can I tell you who that is? I had this little story.

I have to tell you telling someone. It's an aha moment. I was telling someone this story recently. About 10 years ago, I was doing, I was going to this big swanky part. I think I was working it. Not as a waiter. I'm not judging you, Phil.

As a comedian, I think it was at Mike Overson. I was way up in the Hollywood Hills. When there's parties up there, you know, the streets are narrow and windy, and people, the valet, the car is down at the bottom of the hell, and everybody takes the shuttle bus. Okay. Okay. I have no idea what you're talking about, but go ahead.

That's why I'm explaining it. All right, okay, thank you. Like, you can't get out. Everybody can't park up there. There's not enough parking. It's a narrow street. Okay. So when you go to the park, you park down at the bottom of the hill,

and you go up on the shuttle bus. But, you know, A-lister's don't take it. shuttle bus. This is the land of exceptions for a celebrity. So I was waiting there at the shuttle bus. I was on the shuttle bus. I wasn't fighting on. But there were several A-lister's who were like, come on, we don't have to take. And the guy was like, no,

everybody has to take the golf car. Everybody has to take the golf car. Everybody's take the shuttle bus. And one guy was like, come on, I never, I drive right up. And the guy went, Oprah took the shuttle bus. And everybody got right on the shuttle bus. They didn't say a word. And that's when I knew I don't even like Oprah that much.

She could run. Because you know what? Trump won because he was a TV star. Right. Neil before Zod. TV is Zod. That's what gets to people. They saw him as the apprentice guy.

Oprah, she doesn't scare a lot of people who otherwise would be scared. She's much more popular than Hillary. She'd certainly get the African-American vote to come out. That's important to the Democrats. I'm telling you, I don't think she wants to do it, but she could win. One major problem.

She's not running. But she, I'm just telling you, she could win. That's bad. He said, who could win? He said somebody who's bigger. That's not, he's, she's, that's, I think there's plenty of good candidates here. There are plenty of good candidates. They just have, well, that there are a lot of good people here.

Yeah, and there was a lot. There was a lot. But the big problem you have in this race is, in some ways it looks like the Republican field in 2016, which is you've got the presumptive frontrunner who represents the last administration, Jeb in 16, and now Biden. today. Then you've got the kind of outsider who has this core support that everyone thinks is a ceiling but might actually be a floor. And then you have 19 Gremlins who are going to be fighting it out to emerge in third place as the viable

alternative. And if Democrats aren't careful, they're going to get Bernie Sanders as their candidate. I think that, first of all, I think that our field is a little bit different than that. Let me describe it a little bit different. I think it's the most diverse field in terms of you have two African-American candidates, you have Julian Castro. We have dynamic women that are running for office, and Kamala Harris, and Amy Klobuchar. I mean, Senator Gillibrand, the list goes on and on and on. And we have four or five people right now. The polls are saying they can beat Donald Trump.

With all that being said, I do think if the election was today, Donald Trump would win four more years because we still have to get our house in order. But see, here's what bothers me. There's two conflicting thoughts in my head. One, Biden, first week, he's doing very well. You know, it's like he's an old, comfortable pair of shoes and America's feet are hurting. Okay.

That's the motto. Imagine. But when I look at the past, that kind of candidate, the old one whose turn it is, Mitt Romney and Hillary and McCain and Kerry, all of them. America like strange. When they go into election, they want something strange.

All right. And Joe Biden's not that. Well, what if you pair them? Can you imagine Biden and Paris, for example, as a ticket? When does Vice President ever make a deal? You can't. One of the things that Joe Biden has to do, again, you know, running a values-oriented campaign, just I am not, Donald Trump is not enough.

That's right. You have to give people a reason to show up to the polls and vote for you. And I think one of the things that Joe Biden is going to do is a lot of the support that Joe Biden has right now is soft. And I think you'll have someone like a, like a Senator Harris, or like a Beto O'Rourke or someone who's able to rise. You want to make people feel proud of the country. It should be Make America Proud again. That's why Pete Buttigieg is the obvious candidate.

Okay, so I don't know how Donald Trump does it. I don't know how he gets people. I think he's a blackmailer. I do. He must have pictures of people with a duck or something. Because, I mean, everybody who you think is could. Lindsey Graham used to be against him. And that John Kennedy guy, Rod Rosenstein, I thought, was one of the good Republicans.

He quit this week. This is part of his resignation letter to Trump. I am grateful to you for the opportunity to serve. For the courtesy and humor you often display in our personal conversations, and for the goals you set in your inaugural address, patriots. We've done this before. We gave out something every once in a while called the ass kisser of the month. Right.

And you get it this month, Rod Rosenstein. Ask kisser. No graphic for Ask Kisser of the Month? What are you waiting for? Where's the ass? So we got a hold of the first draft of his letter, even worse. Oh. Okay.

Dear Mr. President, I have worked for three presidents, but only one whose ball smelled like the first floor at Bloomingdale. Your penis is so big, terrorists try to fly planes into it. This is... I will always treasure the way... I will always treasure the ways you belittled me. And I think of you as the father I never had. And so does Tiffany. On the day that you were born, the angels got together and decided to create a dream come true.

Oh, nobody remembers the carpet? Thank you so much. I appreciate that. We're super old. Yeah. My only regret is that I wasn't born a Siamese twin, so both of us could work for you. And you didn't hear this for me, but Nancy Pelosi totally wants to fuck you. He is a musician and author of the book, and then it fell apart, which launches this Monday,

Stix at the Arritani Theater here in Los Angeles. I love this guy's shit. Moby is over here. Moby! Wow. Hello. How are you? I am a longtime fan. A lot of Moby in my playlists.

Uh-oh. No, that's a good thing. I can't believe it's 20 years since play. Yeah. As you said regarding the carpenters, we're old. Yeah. Well, you know, as a musician, before we get into the heavy stuff with the book,

I did want to ask you, like, I'm the youngest person in my house. I don't have kids. I'm the only person in my house. That's how I stayed young. God bless. Me too. So I just, you know, I want to like the new stuff. And I always am asking, am I old or does it actually suck?

Well, I got Spotify. I think it actually sucks. I got Spotify on my phone. And when I first got it, I was like, oh, I'm going to hear all this new music. And immediately, I use it as a nostalgia machine. And, like, basically, Spotify is my high school playlist. Like, I haven't, my, my musical taste sort of ended in around 1984.

So modern music might be great, but it can't compete with the clash or public enemy or John Lennon or Neil Young, on and on and on. I feel like you were very much on the cusp of something that everybody does now, that you were many things at once. I may be wrong about this, but you weren't just the musician

and you sometimes sang, you say, but you were like a curator and a DJ and a producer. It was like, I make this record, I'm on it, but then if I want to put something else into what I do, that too. Well, because originally, I wanted to be a singer, but I'm not a great singer, so I had to learn how to do everything else.

And I, so it wasn't like, that old adage, necessities of mother of invention. I wanted to be Bono, or David Bowie. But my singing voice is really mediocre. So I had to learn instruments in production and DJing to sort of like overcompensate

for the fact that I'm a shitty singer. But with auto tune, no one is a shitty singer. Yeah, nowadays that is true. Yeah, and that's one thing I don't like about the modern sound. Okay, but what I love about... I like, but I do like complaining about young people. That's always satisfying, you're right.

But what I really loved about your book, and the first one, too, I mean, this is your second memoir, okay, and you're very honest. In a way, even in memoirs, people are not. I mean, you say you love the adulation. You drank it up like a thirsty sponge. most people don't admit that. You say, you know, you look at Trent Resner, you had all the women, you wanted women to adore you like that. That's very honest.

Because I grew up very poor. Right. And in a very dysfunctional home with, like, sexual abuse and violence and mental illness. And I thought that fame was going to fix everything. And so I pursued it desperately. And for a while, it worked. I mean, there were those moments where I was like, out of my mind on like liquor and drugs

and having sex with strangers in the bathroom and like that was great but not sustainable and then I found myself chasing the dragon as a lot of aging celebrities do and like so suddenly like you're in the basement of a strip club saying to like the bouncer at three in the morning don't you know who I am

and you're like oh my God I'm awful well yes there's that part of it but I I certainly wouldn't I didn't want to turn the kids off to random sex and drugs. No, it's a right of passage that everyone should go through. Well, yeah. I mean, you know, you don't have to be, I mean, in your book,

it's basically, you know, you had a hole in your soul, and sex and drugs did not fill it. No, and I tried and tried, and tried, and tried, and tried. I mean, like... It's not the worst journey to be on, to come up to empty at the end. That's all I'm saying. Okay, so, um, I've asked this of all the guests we've had on the show.

Have you ever rubbed your penis against Donald Trump? Well, as a matter of fact, as most of the guests would say, yes, I have. Tell me about it. So. No, I read it in your book. There was one night. It was brought out in 2001. I was out at a party, and I was very drunk.

I'm sober now. Yeah, like 10 years? Yeah. Thank you. And I was with some friends, and they were telling me about this game that they used to play in college called knob touch. And I really shouldn't. be divulging this in public, but it is in the book. So knob touch is when you take your flaccid penis

out of your pants. Flacid. And these days my penis is always flaccid. See, honest. I'm a natural. And you walk around a room and you brush your flaccid penis up against people. Indiscriminate. It's not sexual.

There's no gender involved. And the goal is, see, like Biden. Yeah. Not sexual. Not sexual. It's just inappropriate. It's just, yeah. I'm not saying he does that.

I'm just saying it's not sexual. So I was very drunk, and my friends told me about knob touch, and my girlfriend at the time dared me to knob touch Donald Trump. Right. So I've only rubbed my flaccid penis against one person in the entire world, and that man is currently on a golden toilet in the White House tweeting about something. Okay. So.

Life goals. I wish I could do the same. And I'm planning. I am going to do it. I do knob touch with him as soon as I can. Okay. I mean, yeah, it's, it's, uh, I probably wouldn't do that now that I'm, like, old and sober. Right.

But at the time, when I was blackout drunk. Absolutely. The Beatles got high when they got their MBEs from the, you know, the medals from the British Empire. You got to do it. Willie Nelson got stoned in the Lincoln Men. Yeah, Keith Richards. Yeah, Keith Richards shot up in the White House. Yeah, you're a rock star.

You deserve some rock star shit. Okay. Rock star shit for a model movie. Thank you. And also your, uh, You're one of my heroes because like me, you're an animal lover, and you're a real activist, you have a vegan restaurant. Did you see Beyond Meat and Beyond Burger?

These companies now, I've noticed myself out at a restaurant. The veggie burger is not what it was two years ago. They finally got it with the veggie burger. This is going to be a big thing, right? I've been a vegan for 31 years. And honestly, Animal Rights is my life's work. Like my restaurant, Little Pine, 100% of the profits, goes to animal rights organizations.

Same thing with this book. Then it fell apart. 100% of the profits goes to animal rights organizations. So, entrepreneurially, I'm an idiot. Right. You know, like, everything I do professionally, like 100% of my profits go to animal rights organizations because, and I wanted to talk to Jay Inslee,

if he's still here. He'll be here later. About climate change. He lives here now. Oh, okay. Because whenever people talk about climate change, they ignore animal agriculture. I agree.

And animal agriculture is the third leading cause of climate. climate change, like talking about climate change and not addressing animal agriculture is like talking about lung cancer and not talking about smoking. So America and everyone, if in any way, but then again, I would also say, I don't like humans very much. So, like, maybe you should keep eating bacon and burgers and destroy yourselves. Like, get obese and destroy the planet. It's dark. I think we took that one subway stop before. But I'm totally with you on the rest of it. All right. So... You're saying I should relapse. I'm a little tense. He's gone all Thanos to us. Well, you know, and I was thinking of you as a tech guy, and I, you know, I am not a tech guy, but you are the ultimate.

I mean, I'm the ultimate tech guy. I get most of my information about tech from you. And Facebook is in the news. Yeah. But it's in the news every friggin week. They are. They really are. And what is it?

They're paying a $5 billion fine for... The parking ticket. For them. The parking ticket. You call it. For privacy violations. But forgive me, I don't... know that much of it, but isn't privacy violations

how they make their money? Yes, exactly. That's the business model. Okay. That is the business model. I think the question is, and Brett just wrote a great column on it in the Times, too, and I write about them all the time. I think the question is what do we do about them? What do we do about them? This week, which Brett wrote about was they barred

certain people off the platform. And there's going to be controversy around that. Alex Jones, Lewis Farrakhan, a bunch of others. Milo. Milo. So the question is, what does Congress do about them? What is regulators do about them? What do people in states and local governments?

And what do we're not internationally? What do countries do about them? But isn't the big question, what are they? What are they? Are they a media outlet? Are they like a town hall? And like until that's defined, it's really hard to hold them too accountable. Well, he said that this he said what we are. He said this week Mark Zuckerberg said we're

we're trying to move from being a digital equivalent of a town square to the devilage ofcumum of the living room or you could just use your living room and have I mean, as I was joking with... What is that happening? I was joking with Brett backstage. It's like the digital equivalent of the purge now

because basically people just go on Facebook and it's very, very divisive. And the rhetoric is jacked up. I think it was purposed to be a place where people were to gather in the internet and be able to exchange ideas. Well, that's not the case anymore. Facebook has become more divisive than anything.

The question is, is it a public square. It is not a public square. It's as close as you can possibly get. But it's a private company where billionaires are made. And so it's not a public... It's treated like a public square. It's not.

It's a waste of time. This is what... I've tried a number of times. Well, it's the only way I can keep on with my older relatives. There's 2.6 billion people on it. That's not a waste. There's so many people on it, especially... Like in the Philippines...

That many people couldn't be time wasters? People are time wasters. Yes, but that's where people are getting their news. And in certain countries, all the news is there. All the news has gotten there. But it shouldn't be. Well, okay. Because I hear people say that when I ask them,

you don't know about this? They're like, I get most of my news from what people put on my feed. Right. But it's not just... So you're depending on your dumb-ass friends to tell you what's up? Yes, but they do.

That's not good. That's why we're so stupid. Well, the question is, what are we going to do about it? I think, there are a lot of reasons why we're so stupid. But I also think that, you know, I think Facebook got it right, and I think it was the easy call to ban these three individuals, but it's a slippery slope. So, I mean, where do they

go next, I think, is the question. I mean, are they going to keep that same energy when it comes to someone like Franklin Graham, who is a a Baptist minister, but who is a homophobic bigot, right? But he's supported by the president of the United States. Are we going to keep that same energy? And my question is, are you going to have three white kids in Silicon Valley who are sitting in the cubicle decide what's dangerous

and what rhetoric they ban and what rhetoric they don't? And I have a fundamental problem. I do too. Well, I mean, right, because you have, what, a 33-year-old kid who is essentially... He's not a kid. Let's stop calling Mark Zuckerberg a kid. Well, to me... He has two children.

We established we're old. All right, okay. This is what he always gets off on, is he's an adult. with two children, and he has $64 billion. And he controls the company. And one shirt. Right. No, no, don't go there.

Are you going to do that again? He has lots of shirts. He has lots of shirts. One I've ever seen. Go ahead. No, I mean, look, the problem with Facebook and all of social media is it's been the land of unintended consequences.

So this was supposed to unite us all, and it's, in fact, divided all of us. It's made us more isolated. Twitter was supposed to democratize speech. It's accelerated, on the planet. Now they want to ban these horrible people, and they're all horrible. We all recognize that. But then we're going to get into a slippery slope where Facebook becomes the arbiter of what can be said in their digital, quote, public square, whatever it is. And the idea of this younger man

determining what qualifies as worthwhile speech, I think, is dystopian and terrifying. But it's also, Facebook is also not the cause. I mean, it's just a, it's just a, it's just, the symptom of a problem that we have. Just accelerates. Oh, that's very much true. No, no, because they didn't have to design it this way. That's not true. What they did. Let me just, let me give you an idea. You got the purge. Because I've talked about this word.

They created a city. It's a digital city is what it is. And they decided not to have police, garbage, street signs, sewers, or anything. But they charge the rent, and every night it is the purge. And that's what the problem is. I agree with that. But I think that there's a larger problem we have in this country. It just finds Facebook to rest. I mean, we have xenophobia, white supremacy,

bigotry, and I think that is the problem. The symptom is just Facebook, because that's where people just go to espouse their views. But it amplifies it in a way that's... In here to foreign human history, it's never been... This is an astonishing moment. But you're going to throw people off for their horrible ideas.

Okay, so if I didn't tell you who said this this week, if I just said this is somebody on Facebook, should they throw them off? This person said, the Democratic position on abortion is now so extreme that they don't mind executing babies after birth.

Donald Trump. Yes. On Twitter. The president said, yeah, he said, the baby is born, the mother meets with the doctor, they take care of the baby, they wrap the baby beautifully, and then the doctor and the mother

determine whether or not they will execute the baby. So when that's the president, this is what they're running on. Socialism and the Democrats are for executing babies. And this is not a right-wing crazy radio host. This is the president. Backed up, by the way, by Newt Gingrich. We are in the battle for the soul of America.

On the one side you have a party that believes babies can be killed after they're born. Because that's what Democrats are for. Let's make killing babies safe, effective, legal, and common. But then again, looking, I mean, based on our conversation about young people, like, maybe there should be

a compelling case for post-natal abortion. No. I'm saying up to, like, the 80th trimeth. We know who's not doing the Democratic messaging. Okay, that would be... I sound someone worse than me. But I mean, it's absurd that we even have to dispel these falsehoods coming from the White House. I mean, we all know that that's not the case.

But, I mean, the simple fact that I like to always bring up with people is that I don't want Mitch McConnell, I don't want Lindsey Graham, I don't want Mike Pence and Donald Trump deciding what me and my wife do with her body. I mean, that is a decision she makes. That's a decision that she makes with her doctor. And I think the Republicans are so hypocritical because they're so pro-fetus, but anti-child. Because when the child gets here, they damn sure don't take care of them. They're not in favor of early childhood education. They're not in favor of climate change or battling climate change. They just don't care when the child gets here.

Okay. So there's a lot of hate on Facebook. And apparently this week in the New York Times. I'm kidding. But, well, you're talking about this. No. Well, they made a little mistake. They made a mistake.

They made a mistake. I mean, people. You were very upset about it. It was a bad thing. Let's show the cartoon. They ran this cartoon in the International Edition, and that's supposed to be, it looks like Peggy Lee,

but that's Donald Trump. No, they didn't know the carpeter that I got out of Peggy Lee. That's Donald Trump, and that's Netanyahu is the dog with the Jewish star, and I guess it's trying to say that Netanyahu, of course, is leading Trump around,

but there's many, I mean, obviously there are anti-Semitic troops in this cartoon. It was a shameful cartoon, It's nakedly anti-Semitic. It illustrates how easily anti-Zionism and the constant demonization, not criticism, demonization of Israel collapses into outright anti-Semitism. It should never have run in the Times. The good news is the newspaper instantly apologized.

They ran a scathing op-ed or column about the cartoon by me in the paper. And then they ran an editorial, again apologizing for. the cartoon. So it was a terrible moment for the Times, but on the other hand, imagine if our government or our executive branch, every time it made a terrible mistake, immediately apologized,

withdrew the cartoon, criticized itself, and vowed to change. I think it would be a better country. But here's the... It's really interesting about Donald Trump and this issue. The number of anti-Semitic incidents, nearly 60% higher

in 2017. We just had one right to... down the road here near San Diego, and we saw Pittsburgh, and we saw in New Zealand. Well, that's different. With nearly 6% higher in 2017, then 2016, the larger single year increase on record. And somehow Donald Trump has this coalition, the Nazis like him, and Netanyahu likes him. He's got the anti-Semites and Sheldon Adelson. Explain that to me. Well, I think it's easy to explain the rise in anti-Semitism in this country. I go back to Charlottesville, and I remind people that the

most amazing thing about Charlottesville was that they were chanting these anti-Semitic lines and they didn't wear hoods. They didn't wear masks. These individuals were not afraid to show their face. They felt emboldened and the reason that they felt in Bowden is because there was someone in the White House who could carry the mantle and utilize the same or similar language that they use. And so that's a fundamental problem we have in this country,

that those messages come down from on high. And until the Republican Party actually shows some testicular fortitude and the ability to actually stand up against Donald Trump when we're talking about destroying the fabric of our country, nothing's going to change. And the problem with anti-Semitism and bigotry and racism is that sometimes it can lead to harmful things and acts, like the deaths we saw.

I agree. I agree, but look, it's incumbent on everyone to call out the shit on their own side, and there is plenty of anti-Semitism coming from the left. It's disguised as anti-Zionism, but when a congresswoman says it's all about the Benjamins, that's anti-Semitic. I've called out Donald Trump. I want to hear Democrats call out...

I've... I've said that I've had a problem with her. Because Jews, people, no one can afford to simply say we only have enemies on the opposite side. Especially when it comes to those of us who are Jewish. We have enemies on all sides.

And we have to be alert to it. Literally with Israel. And I think it speaks to the ascendancy of victimization as a goal on the left. Because when Israel was weak, After the war, the left loved Israel. When they got strong, suddenly they didn't love them so much. They like people who they have much less in common with value-wise.

When you get back, though, you started with Facebook. That's where it starts, though, this radicalization. I think what happened in New Zealand, you know, the way they broadcast it. And these are all these questions. How do you get radicalized? How does it get spread? And then how does it continue on? And I think the weaponization and amplification of hate is part of it.

It's added an extra, it's like a jet fuel to this entire thing, and that's what's created. And the Internet was created to be great, but what it's done is something very different. But there also is not this or are not these major fissures between Israel and the Democratic Party. I mean, that's just not there. It's very loud on the far left, but these fishes aren't large. I mean, you're talking about Barack Obama, who's the reason that Israel has an Iron Dome. You're talking about a $31 billion MOU between the two countries, and you're talking about military F-13.

that were actually delivered to Israel, that the only other country in the world that has them is Israel. And so Israel has been a partner and will be a partner. But right now you have personalities. I mean, there are people. And I think it's okay to be critical of Bibi Nanjahou. But I think what Democrats have a problem doing, or not all Democrats,

but what's happening is sometimes anti-Semitism, whether or not it's this cartoon or whether or not it's Congresswoman Omar, are allowing themselves to delve into racist tropes, which makes this nuanced discussion very difficult. Criticism is great. Just don't demonize. Right.

Okay. Thank you, panel. Time for New Rule. New Rule, since nobody knows who half of them are anyway, every week the news media must try to sneak someone who doesn't belong into that collage of presidential candidate. Just to see how long it takes people to say, hey, wait a minute, that's the Trivago guy. New Year, New Rule, 107-year-old Bill Franklin. Go Bill, who recently moved into an elder care home but is still the world's old.

practicing doctor has to retire. No offense, Dr. Franklin, but I don't want the man who has his finger in my ass to say, why are we doing this again? New Rule, women using the baby pod, a speaker that plays music for unborn babies by inserting it into the vagina. Must admit, this has nothing to do with music. First off, you have the bass cranked way up. And second, you're not pregnant.

If Whole Foods is serious about their customers bringing cloth bags from home, they have to shame them by printing on their paper bags, things like, fuckface forgot his bag. I parked in the handicapspot, too. I was a tree, but then dipped you here, needed kale. There were all the Democrats have to turn Lindsey Graham reading an email from FBI agent Peter Strach into a political ad. Had enough of President Trump, so has Lindsay Graham. Trump is a fucking idiot.

When even conservative Republicans slam Trump. Trump is a fucking idiot. You know it's time for him to go. Call your congressman and say, Trump is a fucking idiot. And finally, new rule, Democrats have to give me a reason to live. As I mentioned last week in this space, the Mueller report, that was our shot. With the dysfunctional Congress and a traitorous attorney general, it fell to one man to stop the madness.

And when he didn't, I got to tell you, it broke me a little bit. I am for the first time in my life, using marijuana for legitimate medical reasons. Yesterday, I wandered into a dispensary and said, give me the strongest strain of indigy. And the guy said, sir, this is a Baskin-Robbins. I admit it. I've let myself go. Why not? What's the point? Trump gets away with everything. He beat the rap on Russia.

He's gotten away with collusion and obstruction and stealing Obama's Supreme Court seat. So many things were supposed to bring him down. Charlottesville, Stormy Daniels, kids in cages, Mueller, nothing does. He picked up Senate seats in the midterms. He got Kavanaugh and Kanye. He got the entire Republican Party behind him.

Despite all the laws of economics, the stock market is up. Despite the laws of nutrition, he's alive. And despite the laws of laws, he's not in jail. He was right about one thing. I am tired of him winning. My current position on politics is fetal. I hear people say, just turn off the news. I can't.

It's my job. And I'm not going to abandon my post. But I'm here to tell you that I think I've found something that helps. And I need to tell you about it tonight because it affects our relationship. And what it is is I, Bill Maher, am 100% all in on

and completely into ASMR. That's right. ASMR, which stands for an autonomous sensory meridian response. And no, it's not that thing where you jerk off with a belt around your neck. That's not. It's an internet phenomenon where people soothe themselves

by watching people whisper and quietly touch and rub things. ASMR has become so popular it was even in a Super Bowl ad this year. Let's all experience. I know you're thinking, Bill, did you hit your head? You are the last guy we'd expect to be into some crazy social media fad.

I know, but when all day long, I have to see this. Turn off the light, build that wall! I don't know what I said. These are my words. Go home to Mommy. I said, let's go to Iraq, but I had one beer. Please, Russia, please. I don't like mosquitoes.

Who likes me? Antifa. Kaching, kaching, kaching. Ah, rah. No, get those lights off. Okay. If I have to look at that in the day, I find it very helpful at night,

watch this. See, isn't it easier to accept that our country is falling apart after you see that guy? So, starting right now, and perhaps for a little while, I will be needing to do

the show. See? It worked. And I thank you. I don't have to do that too much. I thank you for indulging me, and hopefully I'll be back to normal soon. Until then, to all of President Trump's Russo-Rep. Republican enablers who heard me say a few minutes ago that I was broken a little bit.

Dream on traitors. That's not going to happen. Fuck you and get married. Catch all new episodes of Real Time with Bill Maher every Friday night at 10 or watch them anytime on HBO on demand. For more information, log on to HBO.com.