Ep. #514: Judge Judy Sheindlin, Judd Apatow
00:00Welcome to an HBOpodcast from the HBO late-night series,Real Time with Bill Maugh.Start the clock.It's exciting.It's exciting to see me, I know.But there's other reasons to be happy.We hit, I know why Democrats are happy
00:57that we had a few off-year elections on Tuesdayand Trump's guys.Yeah.All the people Trump supported got their asses kickedlike a dog.Like a dog.Never anything like what a dog does what he said.But what killed Republicans was the suburbs.
01:18Anybody live in the suburbs?Suburbs are coming to our rescue here.The suburbs are turning out.Remember when Trump said,You have to vote for me, you have no choice.And soccer mom said,hold my juice box.It's interesting.
01:38Trump has never had the cities, right?Now he's lost the burbs.He still polls well in the hamlets, whistle stops.one horse town's bumfocksand wide areas of the roadbut lookI'm the guy you keep sayingif he loses he's not going to leave
02:02well we had a little dry run to thatKentucky Kentucky elected a Democratic governorbut the previous Republican governor is sayinghe's not accepting itlosing now is just fake newsget ready for this peoplethis is what we have we have one year to the electionget ready for this. Losing is now fake news.
02:21This guy is fighting it. He said there were irregularities.Yes, there were reports of black peoplewho had been screwed out of their voting rights voting anyway.If you have Trump-loving relatives for Thanksgiving this year,it's going to be fun.Because the impeachment hearings, where we actually see it,they start next week, just in time for the holidays.So, if you get asked, you know, what should I bring? Say Kevlar.
03:05In other news, the president of the United States steals from charity.Did I really say that? That's the premise? What fucking world is this? Yes.I mean, we knew this. The Trump Foundation, they'd had to close it down a couple years ago.Now this week would happen a $2 million fine. And get this, I love this, Ivanka, Eric, and Don Jr.they have court-ordered mandatory charity training.First lesson, when the teacher says,take a seat, they don't mean steal it.I mean, the impeachables that we don't even mention
03:52because they're so far down the list.Trump said, I can't believe this is real.He said he might go with Putin to the May Day parade.The May Day parade?It's the parade they celebrate communism with.He said, I was invited, I'm thinking about it.He said, but it's right in the middle of our campaign season.And we know that's the busy time of year for the Russians.
04:16The May Day period?It's so, what is so mind-boggling is that on the heels of the colluding with Russiathat we just went through for two years, in 2016,they immediately turned around and called Ukraine to see if they could help with 2020.I mean, this impeachment thing keeps going.People just keep testifying every weekthat Trump demanded a quid pro crofrom Ukraine, like they said from the beginning.
04:46I mean, we've heard from the deputySecretary of State, the envoy, the ambassador,the diplomat, the other diplomat.It's like a game of cluewhere every single person is sayingit was the fat guy in the Oval Officewith the phone.And Trump wanted
05:09Attorney General BarrI guess this qualifiesis kind of a bright spotif you have to look for onebut yeah he wanted Attorney General Barrto publicly declare what he has been sayingthat it was a perfect calland Barr said no
05:26wow Bar said nofinally Barr had his meatloaf momentand he said I would do anything for lovebut I won't do thatyeah the Republicans it's so interestingfor too much they were demanding that the Democratsreleased the transcripts.So this week, they released the transcript
05:51of the impeachment hearings,and they say the Republicanswere refusing to read them.Right? I didn't make that up.It's kind of like that timeTrump mail-ordered Melania from Slovenia.When she came, he just played with the box.So amidst all this,
06:16this new book is coming out calledA Warning by the same guyhe wrote that op-ed called Anonymous,a couple of years ago, this supposedinsider in the White House is at theTrump, all these examples that he'sa senile, racist, ding-dongwho can't string two thoughts together.
06:32Like, that was a closelyguarded secret.Anonymous.I want to say to this guy, whoever he is,sh, don't spoil the beginning.But the other reason why I can tellthere was extra excitement tonight,on the Democratic side, Bloomberg is in.
07:00Well,Sort of in.Man, his age, it's hard to tell.But I say, good, it's about time.Billionaires got a voiceand a place at the table in this country.And he's got a great slogan,sharper than Biden,
07:17richer than Trump,less Jewish than Bernie.And this is...This is going to be, by far now.He's 77.By far, the oldest democratic field we ever have.It could come down to Bloomberg.Biden, Bernie, and Tom Steyer.
07:38I don't know what the debates are going to be like,but it won't be a pissing contest.You got a great show.Robin Manuel's here.I'm Steve Schmidt and Governor Steve Bullock.And a little later, Jud Apatow is here.Wow.What a show.
07:57But first up.Oh, and what a coup.I never see Judge Judy on TV.She is a former supervising judge.I mean, on other shows.She kills it.Judge of Manhattan Family Courtand for the last 24 years
08:10it's presided over the number one showin daytime televisionJudge Judy ShindlandI am so happy you're hereyou never do television outsideof your own kingdom and I am veryflattered I think it's becauseyou and I kind of see eye to eye
08:44like on a lot of issues I know I dowhen I watch you I love... So you betterWell it's interestingI know you're here because you are big Bloombergsupporter. You called me a couple of weeks ago. I didn't know what it was about. I never met you, neverand I got on the phone. The first thing I said was, I don't know what this is about. I didn't do it.But if you want to do my show, the answer is yes. Yes. Well.Because you love Bloomberg. And now he's in. He wasn't then. Did you plan that?
09:11Let me tell you, and I'll tell your audience for the first time, that Michael Bloomberg and Ihave met only once in our life. And that was over 20 years ago. And he probably doesn'tremember that meeting. I remember.that meeting. He was the mayor,the city of New York.And we were doing a CBSnews program.And he was overrunning his time.
09:35And I was a brat.And during thecommercial, Iwent in and I said to him,you're done.And he looked at meas if I was insane.Who are you?
09:53You weren't on TV then?I was on TV, but I don't think MikeBloomberg is a big afternoon TVwatcher.You never know who is.You never know. Everybody sees that show.Sometimes I get to a hotel on the road.It's the perfect thing to watch at 4 in the afternoon.
10:09And I know you want to talk about Bloomberg mostly,but I just want to ask about a few other things.And one of them is this.I mean, your success is like,I don't think people realize it because the media,you know, they don't talk about the peoplewho aren't anointed by the media.So the fact that you always beat Oprah,
10:25you have like three times what Ellen has.10 million people a day,prime time shows get half that and they get a spinoff.I wish you had been my agent.What do you attribute this enormous success for so long?Now I'm going to get back to Bloomberg.And I'm going to tell you why.I really believe that the world likes order.
10:55children for nine months spend nine months in the womb and then they come out and then as parents you taught how to swaddle them to keep them close so that they feel secure.And what's happened in the world of late, I know that that's somehow out of your con.Literally news to me. I have avoided babies my whole life and that's great to keep learning.But you understand what I'm saying. They swaddle the baby, you put the baby close.I thought it was to absorb the piss.No.I literally did, but...And then what happens is
11:36the rules start to get blurred.You know, you let the children outand their wings start to spread a little bit.But what's happened, sadly, in my life,has been...The rules have become so blurredthat...Rules of...
11:54Rules of...Civility.Civility.rules of civildiscourse, boundaries.With parents.Kids do things with parents that I wouldWell, your parents want to be your friends. I mean,
12:06either are a parent or you're a friend.And kids can have a lot of friends. But they say,fuck you, mom.Yes, I don't think that anybody shouldsay that.But especially to your mother.To any, yeah.Right.
12:21It's not, it's justnot nice. So let'sget back to Mike Bloomberg.You're the one who went down the side path.So, I think we have a fractured American family.To say the least.And you do your monologue every night.No.
12:40It's clear, every Friday night.And every most Friday nights, at least for the last three years,I've seen and heard so I know your position on the president.And that's on one side.And on the other side, there are those people.who absolutely adore him.And then the parties have become so angry with each otherthat nothing is happening.
13:05The American public is paying for a very expensive system,an executive, a judicial branch of government, and Congress.And we're not getting anything done.Bridges aren't getting built.Roads aren't getting fixed.Infrastructure isn't getting donebecause everybody's so busy hating each.Correct.
13:23Michael Bloomberg.And you think Michael Bloomberg.Michael Bloomberg's the answer.No, he's the only answer, and I'm going to tell you why.He's the only answer, and I'm going to tell you why.A savior has risen.Yeah, no, he's the only answer.First of all, if you think about it,
13:37Michael Bloomberg is the only person runningwho has over a decade of executive experiencerunning the largest city in the United States.Who cares?This is not what people care about.Well, let me ask you this question.I've got to tell you, in my court...No.
13:55No, then I'll ask you.this question. That'sexperience. Let's say yourdoctor told you tomorrow.Listen, kid, I hate to tell you this.You need anew valve in your heart.Would you go looking
14:10for the best podiatrist in town?That's not how people think about politics.That's an analogy. Look who won the last time.I'm going to try to makeit the analogy.If you want a president...People have made that analogy before.People vote on their gut.
14:26I mean, well, he's not a gut...Look, I like Mike Bloomberg, but I...Steady.He's steady.He better be.He's steady.He's steady.Because Biden's the same age and he's not steady.
14:39Well, but Michael is.Right, okay.And he runs, and he ran New York City.The schools were better.Right.You felt better about the city.Right.There was a calmness in the city.
14:52But, you know, like, he, today, the reason they said he's getting in it is because he,registered in Alabama.I guess they have an early system where you got to...Today.Today. Alabama.What...You have something against Alabama?No.
15:07But, like, I'm guessing they have a lot against him.I don't see a big city Jewexciting the vote in Alabama, or a lot of the country.I mean, it doesn't end west of Fort Lee.No, I understand...I mean, east of Fort Lee.Or in...South Bend, Indiana.
15:29If we're really talking seriously...Yes.And if we're talking seriouslyand looking at a personwho has both the experience,the only one who has the executive experience,who has had the capacityover 12 years to run one of the most
15:44diverse places in the world.Okay.Again, people don't care about that.Well, then they should care about that, Bill.I know, but should doesn't win elections.The election is going to be decided in six days.and they are not named New York.New York's in the bag.
15:59California's in the bag.We're talking about Wisconsin, Pennsylvania,Arizona, Michigan, Florida.Listen, I just got four votes out in your hallway.I just did this routine.I mean, your hallway, you got four votes.Well, he's got quite an advocate in him.But you know, they're going to say
16:17that Elizabeth Warren is doing greatin the Democratic primarybecause she is talking about the wealth gap.He's a very rich guy.He's got a lot of buddies on Wall Street.street, I mean, they're going tosay that he is not the answerand not the fundamental change we need.
16:32He doesn't exactly wreak fundamental changein people who don't like Trump are pissedand they want it. Well,you're alwaysgoing to have naysayers.There's nothing wrong witha man that came from nothingrealizing the American dream.
16:48I realize the American dream.They put a 52-year-old woman ontelevision that nobody knewfrom underrock. And you could buy them all now.And said, go ahead, bea star. And my husband said to me,are you crazy? Are you giving up a pension?
17:05You're a sitting familycourt judge. That'slike winning a lottery.And what I'm telling youis nothing is impossible.Todefine Mike Bloombergas a billionaire is an injustice.
17:21Mike Bloombergwas the mayor of the city of New Yorkfor 12 years and a self-Made by.Okay.But I...If he's anything like you, he has a chance.Because, again, to get back to what I was going to say before about your show,
17:34I think the reason why it is so popular, why I like it,is because it is a world where order has broken down,and there are no boundaries.And here is someone who's going, you know what, I don't take any shit.And I know what's bullshit.It's you and not you.Case closed.And in a world where even the justice system, you know, justice, we see it with the impeachment.
17:56It's all full of delays and bullshit.And, you know, they talk about quid pro quo.Half the country goes, quid, bro, quo.I guess if you look up and Latin, you can find a law against anything.Quasi-Qwaffe.Right.And I think that, so if Bloomberg has that quality, I think, you're going, okay.But, again, he's 77.
18:15I mean, it's interesting.You, Joe Biden and Michael Bloomberg, all born in the same year.They call it the silent generation.You know, it's in between the boomers and the boomers.and the greatest generation.They're kind of, I see why they're called silent.I forgot about them too.But, you know, people were fucking for 20 years.
18:35I reminded you.What is it about that generation?What are the characteristics?I know what the boomers are.They ruined the world.We got that, and the millennials are fixing itby staring at their phones.And the greatest generation
18:49save the world.What's the silent generation?I don't know.I've never heard me refer to silent at any.All right.Well, I think.Thank you so much for doing this.We know who you're for.
19:02And if he's the one to beat Trump, you're going to be our savior.Thank you so much.Judge Judy, everybody.Thank you.Let's meet our panel.Wow, look at this panel.A little bit of a sausage party here tonight on real time.All right.
19:31He is an NBC and MSNBC political analystand a former senior advisor to John McCain's 2008 campaign.Steve Schmidt is over here.He is the former White House Chief of Staff to President Obamaand former Democratic mayor of Chicago.Wow, Rahm Emanuel is over here.This guy's running for president.He's the Democratic governor of Montana
19:58and a 2020 candidate. Please welcome.Steve Bullock.Hope to see you.Great premise.All right.So let's pick up where I left off with Judge Judy,a little bit of a rebuttal here.85% of voters,
20:1385% under 30,want a nominee who promises fundamental change.I think we know who those candidatesare. 70%over 65 won a return tonormalcy. It seems like this is the whole election.Return to normalcy, fundamentalchange. Do we throw all the dice
20:31on this one election and try to gofor a revolution and beating Trump at the sametime? You'd be more the centrist.You'd be more the second type, right? Normalcy.You're not for a revolution.Which is the right strategy?Everybody please answer. You can go firstbecause you're running for president. No, I think the right
20:47strategy is actually this is asingle-issue election.And that single issue is beating Donald Trump.No matter what we do.But that's the part we know.But then beyond that.We know that.We're arguing now about what's the right way to do that.
21:02Yeah.And look,because the only person in this fieldthat actually won in a Trump state,you know, I got re-elected by four,at the same time he won Montana by 20.I think we've got to be able to connectto people's everyday lives.
21:13It can't be something about the thought that,okay, we don't need a revolution.The farmer that at the end of the dayis getting hit by Trump,Trump's trade war, that teacher working a second job,their problems aren't in the here and now,and they want to see things happening in their lives.Okay, we're not answering, because, of course,
21:30we want to improve people life.The answer is, do we do that with a revolution,like Medicare for all, right?Or do we do it by just incrementally improving Obamacare?Growing up in a Jewish home,you now see why we're all screwed up,but that's all I'm going to say.That explains a lot of history right there.
21:48I guess you're not one of the four votes she got in the hallway.No, not one of the four votes.So here's what I would say, look, I am, as a Democrat,I am sick and tired of winning the popular voteand losing the electoral college.Right.Okay, that's that.Done that, been there.
22:05Okay?We have a model.It worked in 2018.It just worked last Tuesday in Kentucky and Virginia.And the fact is you've got to go meet voterswhere they live their lives and how they live their lives.They're not looking for pie in the sky.They want a pie of sky.
22:18They want anger.They got that at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.We have to give them actual real solutionsto real problems.Again, you're also talking in vague.Let's talk.So pie in the sky equals Medicare for all?I just think that, listen, here's what we've done.
22:31You just said, someone needs to say it.Medicare for all is a pipe dream.You said it.Why won't you say it now?Because you can read.And I don't need to say it, okay?I'm only reading because you're making me read.Medicare for all is a pipe dream.
22:44If you step back and watch these debates,Medicare for all, free college.Yeah.It's going to go, more Social Security,we're going to give you guaranteed income.That's not what people want a government that works for them.And my view is, I want to win Pennsylvania.No, it's very similar.
22:58I'm a reformer.Trump represents.I don't want a revolution.I want a reform.Trump represents an emergency.His presidency is an emergency for this country.So this election is about the defining issue of our time, and it is repudiating Trump andTrumpism.
23:13Because if it's institutionalized, the country is a different country than the one we all grew up in.So Elizabeth Warren, Medicare for All, takes away everyone's private insurance of $52 trillion price tag.But the real cost of it...Well, that's not what she says.But the real cost of it is that it will reelect Donald Trump.Because in America, he will be able to caricature her as a socialist,and the sociopath beats the socialist in an election for president seven days a week and twice on time.And, Bill, you don't need to...
23:46Don't yell at me.Yeah, I don't think you need to end up in the lives of 156 million people on the promise of something better.I'm just trying to get you guys to say it specifically.I think it's a loser.I think where we have to win, Medicare for all, look, it may sound great.If we run up another million votes in California, it's not going to make a difference.If we can't win Michigan, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, and this is more than just about being a margaret.Okay, so.
24:14We're not a revolution.And right now, people want...And they want, and I would say, no, thenot the people under 45.They want fundamental change.They want Donald Trump out of the office.Well, they do that, they want that too.And when it becomes a binary thing.
24:29The number one, the number one ideological goal,the second ideological, third year, beating Donald Trump.Right.And everybody will, that is the focus.But again, we don't know what's going to inspire people.That's not true.We've had actually, we've actually had a petri dish called 2018 and 2019.Right.
24:42We see what's working in Pennsylvania.We see what's working in Michigan.We see what's working in battleground states and battleground districts.and it is actually candidates who have the tone center and temperament that works.I mean, you might be the answer, but being honestly a white guy in this age is not the best thing.The reason why I think Mayor Pete and Amy Klohmishar are like dark horses, I think, who could make it,is because they are centrists, but they have woke cred just because of who they are,just as Obama was a centrist, but he had woke cred because he wore it and they wear it.
25:18Sorry.You've never been to Montanaenough then, Bill.Okay, so there's credit all over there.Right, and it's 89% white.You know, I mean...I think you're underestimatingcome to general election.
25:28I mean, that what we've taken,Kentucky.But Governor Bevan,got 200,000 more votes this cyclethan he did last time, and still lost.There's going to be a massive turnoutbecause Donald Trump is going to electrifyand you're going to have a massive turnout,
25:41and I actually think younger voterswill vote for our nominee.So...Regardless if it's a moderate or a progressiveor big people,because winning is everything.Our voters are Vince Philan Party voters.That winning is everything.
25:54You were in the White House in 2010.You were still there, right, when the midterm election came?I left right beforehand, but yes.Okay, well, okay.Well, you guys, you know, Republicans control the entire legislaturein 25 states after that, the midterms,as we're going to, as we saw in 2018,good for the party that's not in the White House.
26:15But now the Democrats have flipped that around.Virginia.Virginia now is a statewhere they control the entire legislature.So they can do the gerrymandering.The question is, all these peopleare saying, you know, when they go low,no, we shouldn't go higher,
26:30we should kick him in the balls.I say that, too.Let's put some meat on that.What does that really mean?Does that mean we cheat now?Now that we have the state houses,do we cheat with gerrymandering?Well, let me...
26:41The answer is yes.I mean, from the perspective...I agree.Well, look, if you look over...Two different things. If you look over the last decade, and it's more than just gerrymandering.We have 22 states right now that we're completely controlled both houses of the legislature and the governors by Republicans.And that's where you're seeing all these bills that are attacking women's health and the like.And it's more than gerrymandering. It's voter ID laws. It's getting rid of same-day registration.
27:08So I think that what you do is actually try to get back to normalcy, but then recognize, you know, there's 35 states in this country where the legislative difference.are set by the legislature.That makes no sense long term.When they get it, they steal.So unless we steal back, it's only working one way.As somebody who's practiced the dark arts of redistricting,which is why I only have nine and a half digits left there.Is that what that's right?
27:39So, yeah, so let me, look, the system is about voters picking their representatives,not representatives picking their voters, and that's what we've gotten to.So you can change the system dramatically by the,letting more people and guaranteeing that they have the rightto vote, which is what the Republicanshave worked against. That's number one.Number two, I actually think we should takeredistricting out of the legislative body.
27:58But that's the future.No, no, no. It's actuallyestablishing about a trust thatpeople don't have anymore in the political system,and that's a valuable thing if you're going to makechange. Number three, is you've got to takedark money out of politics.And that's what thing is...
28:12But these are all thingsthat might happen in the future.I'm saying right now, we havethe state legislature in Virginia.These things you're talking about have not happened yet.So as the rules are now,I say we cheat. Let me ask you anotherquestion.
28:28Trump, as I mentioned in the monologue,steals...That's what we need to export around the world.Cheating.We haven't done enough of that yet.I don't think it's a good idea.I haven't.Trump steals from charities.
28:44I mentioned this. Trump stealsfrom charities.This didn't even make, like, the front page.I mean, this is official.This is, they got fine.Why can't the Democrats do what...Can you imagine the...Chief from charities?
28:59No, no.If the Republicans had that on a Democrat,they would all be saying,Obama steals from charities.All of them.But the same day.Why can't Democrats did it?They said it when Obama didn't steal from charities.
29:14But why can't Democrats get on the same pageand get a talking point?And Steve, you ever...I mean, all of this, I'm amazed this is a revelation.This is a guy who had a fake university.I mean, who sets up a fake university?Him, right?Donald Trump, right?
29:29So, I mean, this book that's coming out with all these revelations in it,why is anyone surprised about any of this?I mean, the evidence is clearly in front of us every day.Well.And so this is the most dishonest, prolific liar that we've ever seen in that office.And that's a lot of competition for that.So,A lot of competition.
29:52And by the way, he has a lot of help.I have to tell you, Lindsay Graham is just completely out of control.Now, I think people use this phrase on steroids way too much.But he's like hypocrisy on steroids.He really is.I mean, he will say one thing one day.You know, I think Trump's making a big mistake with the Kurds.He's great.
30:12He's thinking outside the box.I want to see the transcript.I'm not going to read the transcript.It's amazing.So we thought this would be.a good time to honorLenny Graham. Now, we've done this before, the25 things you don't know about me,
30:23which...People love it.We got the idea from Us Magazine.I mentioned that many times. They've never thanked me or sent mea case offruit or anything. So fuck them. I'm notgoing to mention them anymore.We're going to do our own
30:41bit. It's nothing like theirs.It's real times. 24thingsyou don't know about me.24 things.You don't know about Lindsey Graham.My spirit animal is the jellyfish.When I was in school, the kids would tease me by calling me Lindsey.
31:03If you saw just five seconds of the videotape Trump has on me,everything would suddenly make sense.For Halloween, I went as the Lindsay Graham from the Clinton impeachment.For three weeks in 1992, I was married to Liza Minnelli.John McCain's last words to me were,Let go of my hands.President Trump once told me I was like the son he never hadbecause he paid the woman to have an abortion.
31:56My favorite James Bond movie is Akto-Yuckies.I have to think about that one.I once kissed Trump's ass so hard I could taste Hannity.All right.He writes and directs everything.The 40-year-old virgin and now.knocked up, and I'm going to read the whole list.He's now the editor of It's Gary Shandling's book.
32:28Please welcome.Judd Apatow is over here.One of the icons.All right.I couldn't tell what you were insinuating there.About Lending, Ryan?Yes, it was hard to read into it.Well, so, Judd,
32:52you're not going to be all about Bloomberg, are you?Because one guest, I couldn't get off that topic.That's all I'm going to talk about the entire time.It's qualities.I wanted to talk to.Judy Moore about her silent generationbecause I feel, first of all, I'm fascinatedby generations, and also it's obviously
33:08so important in this election. The generationsdon't agree on whoshould be the candidate. Soyou're the Generation X, right?I am the Generation X.I'm the definition of it.So,you don't hear about them. You know,
33:24the boomers and the millennials yell at eachother, hey, boomer, and what you,millennia? But, like, you guys are like,what is it with you? What is your characteristic?What makes a gen ex-person?We did nothing.What do you make?I think we...
33:40It means like, we bought the single forWe Are the World and thought we were helping.We did hands across America.You know, we watched Phil Collins play London and New Yorkin Live Aid or Philly.Well, I mean, that sort of only got worse.Or maybe it better. I mean, your kids are what, Gen Z?My kids are...
34:02Well, 21 and 17.Isn't that Gen Z?That's not millennial anymore, right?And what do they like?Are you hopeful for them?No.Not at all.I think the world is on fire.
34:16We were evacuated all week.I didn't have a lot of hope as I ran.No.You weren't in harm's way with the fire.No, I was very close to the fire.Well, we all are.You can...Yeah, it's terrified.
34:29Oh, I know.But I do think that...I'm going to move to Wasillo.I do think that that generation cares a lotAnd I do think that they're engaged in a wayMy generation wasn'tOkaySo I saw you a couple weeks ago
34:46You were so goodYou do a lot of charityAnd you were doing stand-upYesAnd you're really, I forgot you were good stand-upAnd you only went back to it a few years agoYou knowYou did this bit
35:00I have been thinking aboutAnd I never did itI was like, fuck, that always the thing with comedians.He got to that bit about pictures.Like, people send their pictures to each other.Yes, like, why do people...Like, in the 70s, if you send someone a photo from your life,they'd be like, why are you sending me a photo?
35:21And they'd open it up and be like,you send me a photo of Fennuccini Alfrigo.I don't...I just thought you might like it.I don't know.It seems so insane, doesn't it?Yes, no, I think it's all gone too far.But I know...
35:36I watched the Shandling special again,and now you have a book about it,and, I mean, I hope...Are there people here who don't know Gary Shandling?Because it's amazing how quickly...Yeah, people don't remember MASH.My kids have not seen an episode of MASH,all in the family, the odd couple,
35:57but they've seen every episode of 90-day fiancé.And I'm not saying that's worse or better,because I watched with them.But, you know, he was a great guy.I mean, we all loved him.He was sort of a mentor to so many comics.I feel like he, is that why you have sort of taken on that role?I mean, a lot of people look up to you in the same way that they did at a time with Gary,
36:22like this elder statesman who knows everything about comedy and his kind about passing it along.Yes.Well, you know, the strange thing, you know, about this whole experience is when Gary died,someone had to go through all of his stuff.and I was the person who had to do that.And he had all these journals.And there was like this moment where you go like,do you read the journals? Do you burn the journals?
36:42And so I kind of very...And you published them.Well, yes.You were like, let's fuck the middle step.Let's get this out to everybody.It's Gary's nightmare.But as I read the journals,I realized he was an even better guy
36:56than I thought he was.And, you know, I'd open to any pageand it would just say, you know,maybe,Comedy is a gift that you give to people to help them through this impossible life expecting nothing in return.And he would write things like that every day.And I thought, you know, he struggled a lot.He was a very neurotic man.
37:16But he was really trying to evolve and be a good person.And you think that's why he did comedy?I mean, because...Yeah, I think he took incredible pain and he turned into joy for other people.And that's what we're all trying to do.I mean, I always...It's like when athletes go, I did it for the game.No, you didn't.
37:32Yeah.The game benefited because you were fun.to watch, but you do it for you.I'm not saying he was a selfish guy.I love Gary, but, you know, he...Well, you got to pay the rent, Bill.Everyone's doing it for the rent at some point.But it's as funny that he's such a spiritual
37:46seeker, but he's also wantedto always be in show business. I feel like they don't gotogether. Well, that was his conflict, which ishe was constantly trying to get rid of his ego.And I think the Larry Sanders show was mockingthe part of himself that wanted to be a star.Kind of like Prince, you know?Half of it was like, Jesus is great, and then I kind of
38:02fuck you, like...Yeah.You know, I mean, it was like sexuality and spirituality.Yes.So Gary's like Prince.That's what we can take away from the movie.Exactly.I always say he's like Prince, but with a bigger cock.
38:20So, okay.I'll get my time out of the government.That's on that.Thanks, man.So I'm just going to read a few of your movies,just because I was reading the whole thing today.Super Bad, Walk Hard, Train Rec, Sarah Marshall,40-year Virgin, Talladegan Nights.
38:34This is 40, Anchorman, Bridesmaid's Cable Guy.That's a lot of...That's a lot of...And I was thinking, because having done a few moviesa million years ago, I know one thing about movies.So many things can go wrong.Absolutely.There's a million things that can rat fuck a movie.
38:53Yeah, you could be in a movie with Mr. T.When they offered it to you, they go,it's you and Mr. T.I'm like, no, I don't know.You were like, I'm in.I like, Rocky.I'm in.Right.
39:09All right.So.I want to talk about wokeness now and show a little clip,but, you know, I know you've talked about you,you and I think are a little different on political correctness.You've welcomed it a little more.You think it makes you better in some ways.Well, I don't think it makes you better.
39:26I just think that we have to acknowledge people's feelings,and that doesn't mean we should be picketing outside.Right.But I do think, you know, people are more tuned into, you know,how it affects people.Like a lot of people are saying, you know,when you kind of mock memy entire life, I actually feel bad
39:44about myself, and I think that's something that a lot of peoplenever even thought about. Well, PresidentObama spoketruth about ten days ago.I want to show you a little cut-downclip of it, but to me, he wassinging from the hymnal I've been trying topreach from for low these
40:00many years. Please show that clip.This idea of purityand you're never compromisedand you're always politicallybalk and all that stuff.You should get over that quickly.The world is messy.There are ambiguities.
40:19People who do really good stuff have flaws.Like if I tweet or hashtag about how you didn't do something rightor use the word wrong verb or then I can sit back and feel pretty good about myself.Because, man, you see how a woke guy was, I called you out.Not a big winner here in L.A.,but I have a feeling that that would play wellif the Democratic candidates got on that pageand my campaign to stand up to Twitter.
40:53Do we have the stand-up to Twitter logo?I think we...My wife, Leslie, always saysI'm on Twitter too muchand whining and complaining and doing that.You are on Twitter so much.And she may be correctbecause she doesn't do anything like that.
41:16and she's getting younger by the day,and I look like a wartime president.It is killing.Can I? Can I say something here?Please, you're on the panel.No, but I, well, I didn't know if you're about to read something.Those are big experiences for us when you do that right there.Oh, okay. No, I'm sorry. Go ahead.
41:33Here's what I would say.As somebody with three college kids and spent a lot of time around the city of Chicago,I see a lot of kids who are now leaving school and going into city year volunteering in ourschools. I see a lot of kids doing Teach for America. A lot of kids, actually, the one thingI will compliment Trump is he's reengaged our sense of civic engagement. That's the onlypositive thing he has done. And there are a group, and it's a sliver. And we were talkingabout this earlier, you know, sometimes in politics, sound is not fury. There's a sliver of peoplethat all they do is judge other people, and they think they've done something. There is another
42:10generation and a whole group of kids who are getting involved in their community, who arefighting for gun control, climate change,and those are the people that we should actually hold up,not just the people that scream.And I actually think this generation is a lot more involved.And the best thing we can do to all these peoplewho just pass judgment on other people is ignore them.Virginia, okay?
42:34Six months ago, they wanted to drum out the governor.A lot of Democrats were calling for this at the timebecause there was pictures of him in his yearbook in the 80swearing blackface.Now, white voters in very,Virginia wanted about more than black voters.Because black voters don't have that kind of luxury.They want the person who's going to actually do things that will help them.
42:54Now that there's a completely democratic legislature in Virginia,he's going to, he signed the ERA, the Equal Rights Amendment.There's going to be gun control legislation, abortion rights legislation,climate change legislation, expansion of Medicaid.This was worth it.This was worth a little blackface, right?It's like President Obama said, it's a messy world.No, I think...
43:20Okay.No, no, here.Moving on to the next issue.I actually think that part goes to your first part of the question.He's not talking about seizing people's weapons from their homes.He's talking about actually good background checks.He's talking about what he's going to do on renewable energy, not some...It'll be stuff that you're for.
43:37Yeah, but in part what I got out of President Obama's statement, right?Mo Yudal once said when Democrats organize a firing squad, we do it in a circle.So we're in this big fight right now about health care.We're not talking about the fact that 70 times now Republicans have tried to strip away coverage for preexisting conditions.We're not talking about a tax bill that whoever cleans up this place at the end of the night paid more in taxes than 60 Fortune 500 companies.So in part, I think, what he's talking about is at the end of the day, Democrats might have differences,but we don't have to draw these linesso we're attacking one another
44:16when we really should be focusing onon us to what this guy's doing in our country.Especially because, now, the other electionthat really scared me, and I said this in the monologue,I think we just saw a dry runfor what's going to happen about a year from nowbecause I think the election is about exactly a year away.Kentucky, now Tuesday, it's interesting,
44:35Trump, he's like a comic,when he finds a hunk that worksin front of his rally.He keeps doing it.And he had this hunk about me, this nut job, who says, I'm not leaving.And now he does it every time.This is what he said.Monday in Louisville, you have one non-job on television.
44:50He says, you know he's never leaving office, don't you?He's never going to leave.First, I didn't say that.I said he's not going to leave when he loses this election.And this thing in Kentucky now?I'm right.Look at this.This is the playbook.
45:03This governor in Kentucky has no reason to contest this.He's just saying, I'm not leaving.Make me.And if you think this is going to get better in 2020,do you really think that if Trump loses,he's going to, because he's known for magnanimity,he's just going to leave a scented letter for Mayor Pete?No.
45:22He's not leaving.I don't know.I mean, we've seen it, you know, for four years now, right?The delegitimization of all the norms,and democracies function on norms.So it goes back that during the campaign,constantly questioning the legitimacy of the election,when it appeared that he was going to lose,
45:43lose. You have this governor in Kentuckysays, hey, the election isn'tlegitimate. In this country,beginning with the concession call, werecognize the legitimacy of theelection. We understand thatsometimes your side wins andsometimes the other one does, and you get
45:59them next time, and that's gone, and it's dangerous.Losing is just fake news.I think even that we're having this conversationunderscores that this electiondemands more than squeaking outa narrow victory. I don't think it mattersto these people. It's notIf we sell a win Michigan, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania,
46:17and have the popular vote?It does, man.It was rigged.It was their irregularities.Are you kidding?You're whistling past the graveyard.This is a high-price problem.Number one, all our energy, first win.
46:28Number two, remember what the leader of the Republicans in Kentucky said in the state house?Because of the way the governor treated him?He said, no, he lost.And the fact is, the Republicans in the House and Senate,even though they've made a faulty embargo right now,they're going to be really happy to get rid of this guy.And I don't buy what you're going to say.I don't buy it.
46:47I think that people generally are not mad enough.You know, like Trump, you know, he goes and plays golf every weekend, right?So that costs like $100 million from the play golf.Like, is that the new norm?Like is Elizabeth Warren, if she won and she's like,I love to water ski in Maine every single weekend.And we're going to be like, yeah, that's how you go wherever you want.All right.
47:10Thank you, panel.It is time for new rules.Okay.New rules, people who claim Jesushelped them stop being gayhave to tell me why Jesus made them gayin the first place.Was he being ironic?
47:31This is the group who called themselveschanged because they went from gayto now reformed ex-gay,and they came to Washingtonto lobby against LGBT rights.But since they're traveling togethersharing hotel rooms,I have a feeling this problem is going to solve itself.
47:55New Rule, now that Buckingham Palace announced that Queen Elizabeth will no longer be wearing fur.Hey, Queen Elizabeth no longer wearing fur, good for you.She must also get rid of the leather.New Rule, the man who stabbed someone who cut in line for the new Popeye's chicken sandwichmust be hired as their new spokesman.Not that I'm advocating violence, but this story tells people one thing.this sandwich is really good.Just run with that, Popeye.
48:31The sandwich that's so good,you'd kill a motherfucker for it.New Rule, stop making Terminator movies.We can watch Grandmafight the machines at home.This week, she had to change the clock on the stove.New Rule, just because your Tesla is on autopilotdoesn't mean you can ignore the road.
49:08I'm talking to you guys sleeping.A new couple playing.cards, and you too adultfilm stars filming porn.The speed limit is 75.You know how annoying it is to get stuckbehind someone doing 69?And finally, new rule, the people
49:31of planet Earth have to askthemselves one question.Why did we put this guy in charge?Is he even one of us, a human?He looks like afirst attempt at whittling a puppet.And why is the world's mostsocially awkward person in charge of
49:57social media.You can't watch the news these days withoutseeing some story about Facebook,hosting Russian bots,selling user data, gettinginto cryptocurrency,refusing to fact-check political ads.And it keeps growing.
50:22You know, after we found out last year thatFacebook had wrongly given out thepersonal information of 50 million people,there was a big backlashin a movement called hashtag deleteFacebook. Well, ithashtag didn't fucking work.Facebook has only gotten bigger, and let's face it, social media is where the world increasingly gets its news.
50:46So maybe now would be a good time to remember how the whole thing got started,and it wasn't because Mark Zuckerberg had a calling to birth a world with a more informed populace,it's because he started a website that gave college dudes the chance to rate womenwhose pictures he hacked from Harvard's data bank.Yes, the most powerful man in the news business got there by inventing a high-es-es-old.hot or not site.And when you look at the world oflikes that Facebook
51:14has spawned, look at thispost from Quora. My Facebookphotos don't get as many likes as otherpeople. Does that mean I'm ugly?You have to ask,has it changed that much?Of course, on the brightside, Facebook has solved many
51:31crimes, like the ones where thegenius thieves post pictures of theheist. Because that'swhat Facebook does too. It makes you stupid.because there are only so many hours in a dayand you can get only so much accomplishedif you are constantly checkingto see what everybody you ever met had for lunch.
51:53People are dumber because they read less.Facebook should be called time suck.And now Zuckerberg has decidedFacebook will not be policing political speech on their siteor fact-checking any political ads.And this only applies to politics.Other stuff still has rules.On Facebook, you cannot say
52:22Pizza Hut murders puppies and puts it in the sauce.But you can say Pizza Hut murderspuppies and puts it in the sauce on ordersfrom Bernie Sanders.And I hate to tell you,but that's the way it should be.Do you want political speechpoliced by the accuracy regulation
52:40departments at Facebook and Twitter?Not me.I'm always going to come down on the side of free speech.The parameters of the world.which have been debated for centuriesby our finest legal mindsand also Clarence Thomas.And figuring out when politicians
53:02are full of shit is theresponsibility of the votersand no one else. People have tobuild up an immunity to falsehoods.We can't pass the buck to a refereebecause a referee is still human.And even if we used a computerto do it, Trump would say the computer
53:18was an angry Democrat.There is another solution.Don't use Facebook at all.I never got theI never got the whole pointof staying in touch with so many peopleI don't really care aboutmaybe because I grew up on
53:37classic rock where the songs werealways about moving onPapa was a rolling stoneFreebirdRambling Man, go your own waynow no one moves onwhyyou don't need to follow Gary from
53:53high school who was your lab partnerin chem classyou forgotKim, you can forget himyou don't need his status updatehis status is he never left townand guess what? Because of Facebookyou haven't either
54:15just remembernot everyone you've ever crossed paths withis meant to be in your consciousnessforever. Some people come into yourlife, touch you, and then leave.They're called Scoutmasters.All right, that's our show I want to thankSteve Smith, Ronald, Steve Bullitt,
54:33Judge Appetal.I'm Judge Judy.Stay tuned for overtime on YouTube.Thank you, folks.Catch all new episodes of real-time with Bill Maher every Friday night at 10.Or watch them anytime on HBO on demand.For more information, log on to HBO.com.
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