Real Time with Bill Maher - Ep. #560: Christopher Krebs, Caitlin Flanagan, Bret Stephens
Episode Date: March 27, 2021Bill’s guests are Christopher Krebs, Caitlin Flanagan, and Bret Stephens. (Originally aired 3/26/21) See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podc...astchoices.com/adchoices
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Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO Late Night series Real Time with Bill Maugh.
I appreciate it. Oh, stop it.
Thank you.
Look at these people.
Wow. Thank you.
I appreciate it. You sound like a full crowd.
Wow. I tell you, I'm going to miss these sparse crowds when we go back to normal.
Really, I've come to love it.
And I know why you're happy today.
The vaccine now, as of April 1st, a few days later, from now,
is going to be available to people over 50.
So, agents all over town are calling their clients and saying,
don't do it.
It's a trick to make you admit you're over 50.
That's how we handle things.
But it's so funny.
You know, you can get the vaccine of any age if you're a smoker, an ex-smoker,
live in a crowded neighborhood, have a hands.
And the thing is, you don't have to prove any of this,
because we are always aiming to protect the key sector of the L.A. economy, liars.
And, uh...
But, you know, I'm not...
You can just tell Americans, we just want to get out of the house.
We don't even have to have exactly the old lives back.
Just don't make us watch No Mad Land.
That's really what's on...
Now, you see what's going down in Florida, a spring break?
Miami. Oh, the kids are going nuts.
They're out of control, as they should
be. Kids.
Kids should be out of control.
They're refusing to wear masks, which, in their
defense, how are you supposed to tell
if your potential hookup has herpes?
If they have a mask.
It's spring break, people.
Can you blame them?
If I'd been locked up with my parents for a year,
I'd want to snort Xanax and twerk on a
squad car, too.
Of course, normal in America also means the shit
that makes this country shitty.
Mass shootings again.
We didn't have this for a while.
Now we've had one last week, one this week,
a mass shooting, a 21-year-old Christian lunatic
the week before, and now a Muslim 21-year-old lunatic.
In a related story, today,
an atheist went crazy and rearranged his books.
A related story.
made that part of it.
And you heard about that...
I love this story.
The world is really
shitting its pants economically
because there's a fucking ship
stuck in the Suez Canal.
Really? This one ship, you're talking about
a traffic? Oh my God, it's like the
405 times a million.
People are... And I love this part
of the story. QAnon. I'm not making this
up. Q&on says the ship
probably has ties to Hillary
and could be transporting
children to molest. You know what?
You guys think about sex with children a lot.
I'm just saying...
How'd you get there from boat?
But Biden had a press conference?
And it's interesting.
You know, he hasn't had one yet.
This has been a big talking point on the right.
He wouldn't have a press comments he did.
And, of course, they've talked themselves over there on Fox News
into the idea that Biden is completely senile.
Like, he can't get through a set.
without forgetting what country this is
or any minute he's going to pee his pants
like Bradley Cooper and a star is born, you know.
And of course, he was fine for an hour.
I thought he hit the just, just the right note,
forceful without asking anyone to step outside.
That's Joe.
And of course his big news is we now are proposing,
he is proposing,
and Democrats want to sell this a $3 trillion
infrastructure plan, which is, you know,
infrastructure in the broadest sense of the world.
It includes child care,
energy efficiency in buildings,
5G, rural broadband, re-training of workers,
lots of stuff, roads, bridges, ports, rail lines,
redoing the electrical grid, vehicle charging stations.
It sounds very ambitious,
considering the last guy couldn't build a wall.
Being too harsh.
But, no, I mean, you can, you know what?
There are, of course, things about it I have trouble with,
but, you know, it's good that country's moving again.
You know, we're out of this retrograde,
and you can feel it all over
and things are happening all over.
Like, for example, in Virginia,
first southern state now
that is banning the death penalty.
They already got a call from West Virginia
asking if they can have the chair.
And New York State,
where I've spent so much of my time,
gonna legalize pot, finally.
Okay, I mean, this is...
Mayor, I mean, Governor Cuomo says he will sign the bill
as soon as he gets done
searching his assistant for a pen.
All right, we got a great show.
We have Brett Stevens and Caitlin Flanagan.
But first up, he is the former U.S. director
of the Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency.
My old job.
I'm saying that a million times.
That's the most ridiculous one yet.
It was now a founding partner at Krebs Stamos Group, Christopher Krebs.
Christopher.
How are you, sir?
Great to see you.
Thanks for being here.
Okay, so, you know, Washington is known to have that kind of crazy alphabet soup.
Every agency has, and we know some of them, EPA, I think most people know, some people don't.
This one I was not familiar with.
Let's go through it word by word.
What is the name of the place you work for?
The Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency.
Why are those linked together?
Well, cybersecurity is just another risk posed to our nation's businesses, our government agencies,
our nation's infrastructure.
There's physical risk, there's cyber security risk,
and we help.
So what did you do all day?
First thing I would normally do...
No, I'm not saying that skeptically.
I just really don't know.
So it's a big mission.
Oh, that, I'm saying, yeah.
The first thing I would do typically,
in the last four years, was check Twitter
and see what the former guy tweeted about
and how that would affect my day.
Is that right?
That was the big issue.
Let me an example of a tweet,
and then something, and then you were like, oh, fuck, look what he said.
And then you had to do something.
It typically, well, the last year was the 2020 election, the rigged election.
Yeah.
And that would cause across a lot of our partners, state and local election officials,
that would cause a lot of consternation that we'd have to get the messaging straight,
get some guidance out.
Prior to that, it was a lot of Russia, you know, the witch hunt.
And then Trump fired you.
that's how I came to know you.
That's how we come to know people in the last four years.
Yes.
Fired you by tweet, of course.
So that day when you were looking at the tweets,
it got very personal that day, I'm guessing.
Yeah, that was actually at the end of the day,
7.06 p.m. Eastern time.
Not that you care.
No, no, not.
Not that it heard.
I had just walked in the door,
and I thought I'd kind of maybe gotten through the worst of it.
and I might be able to stick around for transition.
And then I get a text from a buddy that says...
And just to put it in perspective,
this is after the election when Trump was saying the thing was rigged
and this is, what, three weeks after the election?
Two weeks to the day.
Two, okay. So we knew who won by then,
but he was still ranting and raving.
Yes.
And you came out and said, basically,
I don't know word for word, but my memory of it was,
I look at this, I'm the expert.
These people have not cheated.
It's the cleanest election we've ever had.
had, and this is all bullshit, and you're fired.
But you didn't bend the knee. Good for you. That's why we like you.
Yeah. And you're happier with your decision than ever, I'm guessing?
I never thought twice about it. Right. I mean, this was the putting country over party.
Right. And he...
I think it worked out.
It worked out for me.
It worked out.
There were some rough patches in December and January.
You're on TV now.
But, yeah, look, here, I'm sitting here with you.
And he's not even on Twitter.
You won this one, man.
So let's talk about what's going on in the present,
because what I keep reading is the largest cyber attack ever
happened in the last year, right?
Which one?
The one that went on for eight or nine months?
There might be two or more, but it's...
Well, there was one that we've all been reading about
that got into every department
for months and months.
I guess they didn't know it was happening.
That was the Russians again.
Yeah, and everybody said, Trump said China,
but everybody else said Russia.
You're assured it's Russia, right?
It's got all the hallmarks of a Russian espionage operation.
Okay, so we keep having these things happen with Russia.
What is the appropriate, in your view, response?
without escalating it.
We don't want to blow each other up over this,
but it seems like we're not really doing anything.
So we are.
And in fact, General Nakasone,
the head of Cyber Command and the NSA,
the National Security Agency,
was testifying the other day,
and talked about some of the operations
they ran ahead of the election.
I actually look at this specific one,
the sunburst hack,
affiliated with Solar Winds,
was actually there was a degree of restraint to it.
I know it's a crazy thing to say,
but if we think back to 2000,
2017 when I just started my old job.
There was something called Wanna Cry, there was not Petya, there was bad rabbit, all really
wonky names.
But 2017 was probably the year of the great hacks.
These events, including the more recent one, attributed to China, well, maybe not that one,
but the Russia one shows some restraint that maybe they've learned, maybe there's something.
But cyber's just, it's the new normal.
Let's go back to the part about what are we doing.
Yep.
That's a great question for somebody else.
A great question for somebody else.
You just can't do.
Yeah, go ask Joe Knoxone.
Okay.
But is it offensive?
Because it seems like defensive can only do so much.
Well, there was a...
I mean, I know we've done it before.
We've been to Iran with SucksNet, right?
There was a meeting last, I think it was last week, or the week before in Alaska,
between the Chinese government and the Secretary of State and the National Security.
advisor, and the Chinese had a line about how we are the champions. And I tend to think that from a
cyber perspective, that the U.S. is the best of the bunch. But we live in the glaciest of houses,
which makes things, you know, a little challenging. Yeah. Do you adjust with cyber or with everything?
It's just the digital economy. It's the way everything we do now, whether it's school, business,
governments, everything is dependent upon the
internet. We're incredibly reliant and dependent
upon the internet. And that just,
that makes for a lot of openings for the bad guys.
What do you think going to happen with Bitcoin?
I mean, where do you see that
going? That's in sort of your
area. I see it bringing down
civilization, but maybe I'm being in a lot.
So, no, I, so, you know, it depends on what
angle of Bitcoin and cryptocurrency,
but cryptocurrency is the,
is I see it, one of the single
enabling factors.
that has allowed cyber criminals to deploy a massive amount of ransomware across our state and local agencies.
It is the anonymous payments, the ability to pay anonymously.
And I think that is the cyber threat that the average American is most concerned about.
Sure.
Because they feel it at home.
All this other stuff about Russia and China.
Right.
That's ephemeral.
Yes, you're talking about schools.
I think something like 1,600 schools were hit last year.
In hospitals and government agencies.
Right.
I mean, we had, Baltimore got hit twice.
Atlanta, Mecklenburg County, North Carolina.
23 counties in Texas.
Louisiana's been hit a couple times.
It's just, it's...
And they just want money.
This is not anything sophisticated.
This is not ideological.
It's like at the end to die hard when he finds out, no, they're not terrorists.
If there's a vulnerability...
Yeah, right?
It's a little bit like that.
Okay.
Yeah, Knoxoni Tower, right?
If there's a vulnerability, if there's a vulnerability, if there's a
exploit if there is money or information to be had and there are no meaningful consequences,
the bad guys are going to run wild.
So we've got to change that equation.
I think looking at cryptocurrencies and the exchange wallets, we need to look at that.
We need to start holding some of these countries like Russia that allow these cybercriminals
to operate in their sovereign territory with impunity.
You know, we need to focus on that.
But bringing it back home, we've got to help state local improve their defenses.
and I fear it's only going to get worse
because the way that tax revenues
at the state and local level have taken a real hit
because of COVID. I think when we talk about
infrastructure and investments, I think we've got to have
a 21st century digital infrastructure investment.
Well, tell Biden you're ready to go back to work.
Hopefully he's watching.
All right. Thanks very much for being here.
I appreciate what you did.
All right, let's meet our panel.
All right, he is a columnist for the New York Times
and an MSNBC contributor,
Stevens is over here.
And she's a staff writer at the Atlantic
who offered their April cover story.
We will get into it. Private schools have
become truly obscene.
Say what you really think.
Caitlin Flanagan is over here.
What a great panel.
And I've started so many
shows with this, my solar clock.
Ladies and gentlemen,
the eagle has landed.
Ladies and gentlemen, we got them.
We have solar, ladies and
gentlemen. We have solar. We have
we have solar.
1131. 1131.
Yes, and I have a little clip of them putting it on today. This is
Hans Rosenberger pulling the switch there at my house.
And there's so many people to thank. Altadina
Solo. They're the people who actually did it. They did great.
And a group called Sun Run Solar got involved. Didn't
ask for a penny, but they are very
involved in doing this, and they just, well, I was
bitching about it on television for six months.
This is what's so amazing that all
these people, and I heard from so many
people email me, famous people, can I help?
And I'm like, I already got so many people helping.
And I was bitching it publicly. I talked to
two congressmen on the air about this,
and it still took 1131
days. Six months
after I started bitching about it publicly.
What does the regular person do? So I had
to laugh when I was reading about the new
infrastructure bill. Yes.
Okay.
But remember, 1131 for me.
I don't know if we could get the whole state.
Anyway, I guess what I mean to say is,
what are your thoughts on the infrastructure bill?
Three trillion is a lot of money.
It kind of reminds me, do you ever see Brewster's millions?
He needs to spend $30 million in 30 days to get his $300 million prize,
and it turns out to be pretty difficult doing it?
Well, I'm probably going to agree with that.
at the end of the show, but for now,
I'm just going to look at the positive side.
It is a Trojan horse for green energy,
and a Trojan horse I welcome.
If that's how we have to do green energy in this country
with a Trojan horse, and we do,
let's do it that way,
because it folds, everything in it is really about that,
but it's cold infrastructure and jobs and this and that,
but really that's what they're doing.
And I think the Democrats finally got it through their thick skulls
how to sell something.
All right.
Although I don't think anybody even knows what the word infrastructure means.
Oh yeah, well, I mean...
I don't really know.
Skip that part, but go on.
Yes, you do.
I mean, what really means is roads and bridges and ports and the electrical grid.
He's being very generous with the definition and it's child learning, you know, human infrastructure.
I mean, you could call anything infrastructure because we win arguments these days by changing
the meaning of words.
Right.
Silence is violence.
Really?
I thought violence is when it hurt.
But here, listen to this.
This week, for the first time, I wish we had more confetti.
51% of Republicans both support gay marriage
and legalizing pot.
We've gone over the 50% mark with Republicans.
So why couldn't Carbon be next?
No?
Well, I mean, sure, by all means.
They should do that.
And, you know, one of the ways of doing it is actually being serious about carbon solutions, like supporting nuclear energy.
Okay.
So...
That got a big chair.
There was a...
Biden at his press conference, there was no questions in an hour about the pandemic, the vaccine program, or the $1.9 trillion relief plan he just passed.
You're a press people. What do you think about that?
I think the press is all in.
All in.
for Biden. I think that he's not getting pressed, so to speak,
on a lot of the tough issues right now. And I have to say,
as somebody who's in the media but isn't really a journalist,
I think people are doing the right thing. Right now,
I think hating America is no longer a luxury that we can afford.
And when you and I were young, you know, I grew up in Berkeley,
my parents were slightly to the left of Karl Marx.
I knew America was a war machine and imperialist power.
My parents were helping kids dodge the draft and get to Canada.
And you can have assonine opinions like that
when the rest of the country is holding up America.
Right.
And some people are even loving America.
And right now, everywhere, you know, you turn.
It's like people break into the Capitol building
and shit on the floor and terrorize our...
In the name of loving America more than the other.
But it's not like anybody hates America.
They just hate the people who are on the other side that they see it.
I mean, they did a survey recently,
and they ask people, what is the most pressing problem?
By far, the winner was other people in America.
I'm not kidding.
That was 54% were the others.
The people I don't agree with are the problem.
That's America.
I mean, obviously the press needs to hold the administration
to account in a normal way.
But on the other hand,
we just went through four years
in which the presidency was a jackhammer
outside your window at 6 a.m.
every single day.
So, you see.
I think a respite is a pretty good thing.
That's a good analogy.
But, you know, I was watching Dr. Robert Redford.
No.
I knew I was going to.
Dr. Robert Redfield.
You know who I'm talking about?
Former head of the CDC.
Okay, he said something very interesting,
or at least it made news today,
that he thinks coronavirus came from the lab,
which has been talked about since it began.
Right.
But in this binary way we live in a country,
it's like if you're a Democrat it's a bat
right if you're a Republican it's a lab
and it's so fucking stupid
because this is a scientific issue
it totally could have been a lab
what happened to us what happened to us
that everybody behaves this way
and that there's all these people that believe in Q&A I mean
when we grew up I know you're much younger
but it wasn't like this it really wasn't
we had a lot of problems but we didn't have people thinking
that there were child molesters in the Suez Canal that Hillary
Clinton sent there? And issues like this,
not everything became
a polarizing issue. Right, and we've
trained, I think, throughout the
country, we have sort of trained people to turn off their brains.
Like, the default is, don't
think, join a group,
and adopt whatever the prevailing view is of
that group. You know, it is possible to hold
conservative views and still think Donald Trump
was the worst president America
has ever seen.
Right. As many have.
It requires some level of independent thinking.
It is possible to think that maybe this came from a lab,
but at the end of the day, it doesn't matter
because we have a global pandemic that we have to somehow solve.
Well, it does matter because it...
It does matter because it affects how we understand the disease.
I mean, what he is saying is that he thinks it came from a lab
because it acted in ways that it wouldn't if it had come from nature.
That's significant.
It's not something to say, oh, well, that's a Republican point of it.
Like hydroxychloroquine.
a Republican... I mean, I wouldn't take it, but who knows? They use it in some countries. It's a medical
issue. It's not like, ah, Trump took it. I wouldn't take it if it saved my life. I mean,
there are people who would... It was vetted before... It was vetted around before he took it. It was
a known very early on in the pandemic. It was seen as something that might, you know, work
a bit, and it has. All right. So, I got to talk about the shooting because fucking guns, you know,
every time it happens, and it's just, it makes you sick that this is America, that
We're the gun country, that we keep shooting each other.
But we have to, I don't know.
My question today is, what's the law that stops this?
Ted Cruz said every time this is shooting, we play this ridiculous theater
where this committee gets together and proposes a bunch of laws that would do nothing to stop these murders.
And, you know, they said both of these guys got the guns legally.
Yeah.
I don't know what
I don't know what we're talking about
if well you know
I mean one point
what law would change it
and what's
you know if he's saying
he would do nothing to stop these murders
most people are for all these things
then let's just try it and see if it
and if it doesn't then
then we'll be
the one thing we know about
these men always
who do these mass shooting incidents
we know a few things about them but one of the
main commonalities is profound
childhood trauma and deep mental illness.
So at background check that involved mental illness,
I think that would come up,
and I think we would have an opportunity
to screen out some of these men.
It makes sense to have something like that.
It should be harder to get a gun
than to get a driver's license.
That should be basic common sense.
And the other thing I was thinking about,
like, you know, when I think of my big screw-ups in life,
it's usually when I clicked send on an email too soon,
and I sometimes wish there were an algorithm,
that would just say, this looks like an angry email.
We're going to just hold this for a few hours.
And it would have saved me a lot of grief in my life.
How about this looks like, you look like you're pissed off
and you're in a gun store.
Go back, go home for three days, right?
And we're going to check you out.
What's like, remember Homer Simpson?
Three-day waiting period, but I'm angry now.
Right.
I mean, 91% of people support background checks.
89 block gun sales
to people who have been reported as dangerous
or mental health problems.
80% think should be a mandatory
three-day waiting period. This even
includes, like most Republicans,
and even NRA members.
So it seems like that's the least we could do
is just give that a try.
See if it changed anything. It may not.
Because, again, you said mental
health issues, I would put
that in the broader category of cannot
get laid. This is the big...
I mean, it really is
I'm sorry, but all over the world,
whether it's ISIS or incels,
it's just the theme.
This guy, this need a girl,
hashtag need a girlfriend,
was on his Facebook page.
This is the name of this movie.
Hashtag need a girlfriend.
I'm going to open a chain of game schools
and teach men how to have a little game
because it's not like girls aren't out there.
They just, we need to teach game in the curriculum.
Did you see his picture?
What?
Did you see his picture?
picture? I mean, he needs a lot of tutoring from you.
If he, someone, a brother from him, I mean, of his, the next time you go out.
It's not how you look, right? It's not. Women are deeper than us. You can,
lots of men who are not that great looking do very well. I don't want to name name.
I mean, we're going to find out that he's, you know, I'm sure we're going to find out that he has
deep, deep mental illness, you know, because it's so consistent with these men. So, right, but
Part of the con, I think, on the right is they say,
oh, what we really have is a mental health crisis,
we should invest in mental health.
All countries have people with mental health problems.
It's just that they don't have immediate access
to weapons of mass destruction.
Well, but again, you think in this country
that has more guns than people,
these guys who bought these guns illegal,
and one of them wasn't an assault weapon or assault rifle,
you think that that would change anything?
You don't think they would get some weapon?
Well, look, let's say if it's...
That's what we're talking about here.
We're pretending that this one,
that certain types of weapons are going to make a big difference.
That needs to be questioned.
No, I agree.
But if it manages to diminish gun crime by 5%...
I'm saying, let's try it.
That's good.
But the larger point then is someone should call for the repeal of the Second Amendment.
Until people start thinking that it is crazy,
that we have an amendment that was written at a time
when a skilled marksman could get off maybe two should.
shots in a minute at best
that that is relevant,
works for today is a crazy
Well, John Paul Stevens, remember him?
Yeah, I know. My name's... He said we could
what? Yes. He said
all we need to do is add
five words to the
Second Amendment and it's like
in the case of being in the militia
right. To make it align
to the original intent. Just
add those few words but
that's never going to happen. Maybe.
I think people are
I just think people are really,
there's going to be a point at which we just can't tolerate it anymore.
And it's amazing and shameful that we haven't gotten there yet
when kids are shot dead in their classrooms.
But I don't know.
All right.
It's a hopelessness.
Well, I kid Fox News a lot here on this show.
The only reason I do it is because they're mostly a bunch of obnoxious assholes.
But the only reason I do it, otherwise, no, I kid.
But, you know, Fox is still the brand, really,
that every other conservative group sort of measures themselves by.
But there is trouble in River City.
This week, for the first time, since 2000, MSNBC beat them.
This has got to really hurt.
They were always, we are the ratings champions.
And they have lots of competition now from other further right organizations.
That's what's really bleeding away.
Okay, so they decided to step it up.
They have a whole new slate of shows.
Would you like to see some of them?
Because these things are going to, they are really looking to get their base back.
There's an inside sedition.
It's going to be coming on.
Down the rabbit hole with Tucker Carlson.
Really?
Kirk Cameron, the science guy.
Fact busters.
Inside the crisis actor's studio.
Morning Woods, actor James Woods
discusses the news with a panel of teenage girls.
The segregation room.
Pardon the insurrection.
The hot blonde fascist report.
Paula Dean's plantation weddings.
The Karen report with Marjorie Taylor Green.
And save it again and I'll punch you with a face
with John Boyd.
I have a
feel like I found
that funnier than the audience, but okay.
So, but there are
a number of people who have been calling
for Fox to just go.
I read the
phrase, be allowed to exist
or said, heard that on
MSNBC. Max Boot has
said similar things. And of course, now that they're being
sued for lying, I mean
they did lie and it was only about
the election and democracy. So
I see why people feel this way, but should we think this through a little more?
I mean, even two congresspeople out here in California, Anna S. Shu and Jerry McNerney,
they wrote letters to all the cable providers and said, are you planning to pick up Fox for the next year?
If so, why?
If so, why?
Well, that's a little cheeky.
I'm no fan of...
Aren't they going to send the same letter about CNN that, you know, Maligned and that young boy from Covington High School?
I had to pay a huge, you know, they libeled him,
and are they going to do the same to ABC News,
which knew about Jeffrey Epstein when he was still alive
and still child trafficking, and they suppressed that story?
You know, the news is just a very dirty business.
And I think Fox is dirtier than most.
It is dirtier. Come on.
There is. It is dirtier.
It is dirtier.
But the minute you suppress that,
the minute you say, we're not going to have that on the air,
then the rest of us can't see what people are thinking and hearing,
and it all goes underground.
Yeah, where are they going to go?
They're going to go to the dark avenues of the internet.
Well, I read Trump is starting his own Twitter.
Right.
Right.
So that was inevitable, right?
Do you think we were just going to go away
and start watching Rachel Maddow?
No, where are they going to go?
They're going to go podcasts.
But also, Caitlin's point is so important.
It's like, hey, guess what?
Two can play the game.
So if Democratic congresspersons can write
to try to suppress one side of the debate,
Republicans are going to start doing it as well.
And someone should remember that the First Amendment begins with the words,
Congress shall make no law, right?
Those are important words.
I mean, the part of living in a First Amendment environment
is people will lie, people will misinform,
and you make a living by calling their BS, right?
Like, that's what the country were in.
I don't like the word to be allowed to exist.
No.
It just bothers me.
But speaking of...
And about Israel sometimes.
Speaking of not being allowed to exist.
you want to do that private school.
Less controversial.
But you say shut them down.
Well, I don't say shut them down,
but I say the ones at the very, very top of the system,
the ones that cost $35,000 to $50,000 a year,
that they've become kind of a maligned force in America.
They cover up all the huge number of spots
in the Ivy League schools.
They have, you know, Exeter has $1.3 billion.
We don't get any tax money for that.
Exeter.
Big one? Where is that?
It's a fancy one. It's in Hampshire.
I wouldn't know private schools. I just went to
a regular school in New Jersey.
Okay. I think I'm happier.
And you got a show. That's right.
Berkeley High School.
Yeah. You look like you were born on a tennis court.
Where'd you go to school?
I went to a fancy private school.
Which one?
I went to a school in Massachusetts called Middlesex, which I thought was a wonderful school
and still think is a wonderful school.
And I think some of these schools do extraordinary jobs in really
educating people from a much more diverse background than you're
since you were there. I'm sorry, but they have. And this is a lot
of what's your article about. I also read Barry Weiss's article about Harvard
Westlake. And I mean, I've been talking about this on the show. I've taken a
lot of shit for talking about it, but it's true. There is something going on
in the schools, and you're right. These are the schools that funnel kids
to Harvard, and Harvard, you know, funnels them out to the important parts
of the media, television, government. You're going to be your boss. And
they control a lot of how people, you know,
think. So two things that are different. Parents don't have the back of the teachers
anymore. They always side with their little brat. That's different. And the biggest thing I think is
the shift away from moral teaching from the parent to the school. Used to be the school would be
afraid of what the parent thought. Now the parent is afraid of going against what they're
teaching in school, even when they don't agree with it. That's a huge shift. That's a huge shift.
that we should stop and at least notice and debate and talk about, right?
Of course.
And, you know, in these private schools, well, that's not such a big issue in the sense that you don't have to send your child to that school.
Nobody's holding your gun to your head and saying you have to go to a fancy school.
But when we have public schools, thousands and thousands of public schools, where parents are really afraid to challenge what's going on in the classroom, that's really a problem.
That's really a serious problem in education.
But I think it's a problem throughout education,
which is that we're losing the distinction
between what education is and what indoctrination is.
Yes.
And a lot of what's happening is really just indoctrination.
I studied Marxism in school.
It's important to understand what Marxism is.
It's different from being taught from a Marxist perspective, right?
One exposes you to ideas.
The other makes you a kind of a soldier in a given perspective.
And there's something kind of totalitarian about that.
You're producing, like, not independent thinkers.
You're producing red guards.
You're producing cadres.
And it's so grotesque at the wealthy schools
where here are these, like, children of actual billionaires
being turned into baby Marxists,
because that's how rich your daddy has to be
for Marxism to work for you personally as a, you know, as a theory.
So the whole thing is...
And that's another American issue.
You know, we've got to pull together,
and we've got to, you know, we've got to lift up
this whole idea of education
and get some of this crap out of the schools.
We just have to.
What I read in some of your article,
Summon Barry's, is that there is this climate of fear
that people are living in the schools,
fear of not being woke enough, of not speaking woke enough.
She says, power in America comes from speaking woke.
She quotes this math teacher who says,
I am in a cult.
Well, not exactly.
It's that the cult is all around me
and I'm trying to save kids from becoming members.
It sounds like he's a Scientology defector.
Well, I think right now we're in sort of a certain period
that I think is hopefully going to be short-lived
in that schools have been reacting very quickly
and very hugely to the social protests over the summer,
which kids, thank God,
were very moved by and were very much a part of.
And so that's important.
But the lessons that they're introducing
on the backs of that protest are grotesque.
And also the climate of fear is not just in schools.
It's throughout institutions,
companies all over the country.
And people have to start calling bullshit on it.
I mean, the only way this ends
is people who are in authority say,
no, we're not going to be bullied
if you don't want to work here,
go elsewhere.
These are our values,
and we're going to stick by them.
They include fair play and openness
to a variety of points of view.
Um, there's
they seem obsessed with the concept of privilege.
Yes.
The one you taught at.
Yes.
Harvard West Lane.
Oh, that's, of course, same one.
Okay, so, I mean, I'm looking at this chart.
Can you show this chart to people?
It's like the world is divided into oppression, resistance, or privilege.
And, you know, you have privilege of, I mean, some of these are obvious.
Some of them are outdated to some degree.
Heterosexual.
not at the abbey
you know
gender conforming
young adult
and then you know
oppression
working class
person of color
female
not everywhere
this is you know
just
the world is so much more complicated
than this is somebody
I was taught when I was taught
how to be a teacher at that wonderful
school was never waste a student's time
that's the most precious resource
so never teach a ridiculous
lesson. And if you're sitting there
at a school that costs $35,000 a year
and you're trying to figure out who has
privilege in America, get a mirror.
You know, you're the privilege in this.
You don't have to sit here with this
complicated map. It's a
useless lesson. But are we
really talking about advantage?
The word privilege bothers me.
Yes. It's like there are certain advantages.
And of course, race is the biggest issue
in America. I will always put that at
number one. But it's not the only
one. There's so many different
factors that affect people's lives, and they
only want to see this one thing.
You know, what if someone's painfully shy
like I was?
Through all my young... You were painfully shy?
Isn't it funny?
But it kind of makes sense.
You know, people try to...
You know, at some point in your life, you know, the light
goes on. You know, the answer to whether you're
privileged or your advantage, you know, the answer
to it isn't to feel guilty
and to virtue signal. It's to do something
with those advantages.
Try to make the world a better.
place, don't feel guilty for doing it.
And more to the point, if you're truly a Marxist
and I grew up in a pretty lefty house,
tell your parents, I don't want to go to this expensive
school anymore. This is too elite.
I want to be part of making public schools better.
And they want to be super woke and they want to go to Yale.
And that's really offensive to people
who can't afford either of those things.
If you really believe it, come here to L.A. City
College.
Okay.
Before we ran out of time, I knew you were coming here.
I really wanted to get both of you, but I really want to hear you about the Royals.
Oh.
Because, you know, now if, what, you're laughing already?
I can't wait to hear those.
Well, because, I mean, now that we have a chance to absorb it,
everyone saw the Oprah interview with Harry and Megan.
And, by the way, I had to laugh when they were canceling all those people last week for the tweets they wrote in high school.
Right.
You know, and then
I was like, there's a picture of Harry
America's new hero, wearing a swastika.
Yeah. I'm just saying,
and I don't think they should cancel him for it either.
You know, people do stupid things when they're young,
but it's amazing the way the angel of death
just flies over some people's houses.
Right.
And other people.
It's amazing.
But not only that, that Megan felt that a really worthwhile
role for her to play
was to visit the countries of the Commonwealth
because they are largely people of color,
which is true because they were colonized
by the stupid family you married into,
and you should not be their emissary.
You should be going there and telling them that, you know,
break free and let's get Britain to pay some reparations.
She shouldn't be there under authority of the actual royal family.
Yeah, she seems to...
But it's true, but with other people, like that young editor
who had just been given her big...
break and discovered that 11-year-old tweets when she was 17-year-old were going to destroy her career.
And that's insane. If you haven't screwed up as a teenager, you probably've never been a teenager.
I mean, what kind of person doesn't have huge mistakes from that period of time and what kind of society would destroy you for it?
Ted Cruz doesn't. Because he knew when he was eight, he started running for president.
And that's not the guy you want.
his president. Well, that's the... You're making my point.
I am making your point.
We agree.
Anytime somebody gets fired
at Teen Vogue, it's a win for the country.
Because the whole thing,
everyone should be fired. They should
shut that thing down. They should salt
the earth and they should go into penance
for having... I mean, I looked at it today.
They had an article
about why we should abolish the police
and the next article was about
one of the Olson twins' haircut.
You know? It is a useless...
Then you read the statement from them about we had to do this of the important work of teen vote.
Yes, exactly.
The important work.
Are you kidding?
It's about clothes for teenagers, isn't it?
Well, the thing is, it's about more than that, but teenage girls, there is a huge community
that they can reach one another on a national and global level through Instagram and so forth.
Adults at the depraved institution of Condé Nast should not be profiting over feeding their heads
with this poisonous, vapid, left-wing, a...
that just makes these girls
dumber because every time they run something on foreign
policy, you just look there and you go, that's not
right and that's not right and that's not right.
But these girls, hey, it's great, I'm going to get that haircut
and be on the side of this thing.
It's just, it's terrible.
I have one minute, and I know you both have written
about Woody Allen. A lot of people who
get this network probably saw the documentary.
I have one thing to say about it.
The title offended me.
Not offended me, but was bullshit.
and it may all be true.
But the title of that documentary,
which was Alan V. Farrow,
would suggest a trial.
Okay, the title of that documentary is Mia's story.
And again, it may all be true.
But don't call it Alan V. Farrow,
because that suggests a trial
where there's a prosecution and a defense,
and there was no defense.
It ever rose.
Well, I think it is the name of the custody trial,
which wasn't a criminal trial.
It's misleading.
And the two contemporaneous reports that came out,
acquitted Alan, which isn't disponsive.
No, no.
It just means that people who
think they know the story, don't know the story.
Right. And now they know
one side of the story. And I'm glad I do.
But don't tell me that I saw the whole story.
But why is HBO
profiting?
Making a four-night entry.
Hey, hey, now we're getting into some very
touchy territory.
Time for new rules, everybody.
New rules.
So they can pay their stars well and have them get
solar. That's why.
God damn it.
What's we guessed? All right.
New Rule, someone has to tell me how it makes a party better when you're standing on a car.
That would make me not want to go to a party.
Where's the party?
Well, it's partly on a car.
James Brown once saying, get up off of that thing.
He meant his car.
New Rule, before you make fun of this Hindu holy day,
where women from one village pretend to beat a man from another village with long sticks.
Remember, we've got one coming up where a life-sized bunny hides eggs to celebrate a dead guy coming
back to life.
New Rule, the Nicobar Pigeon
has to get over itself
and realize that when people say you're
so beautiful, they mean for a pigeon.
Your competition
is dirt gray, red-eyed, standing
on a trash can, eating a cigar.
And you're both going in Chick-fil-A.
No, no. I kid Chick-fil-A. It's actually fine
food. It's delicious, sweet kid. We make little
jokes. New Rule, someone has
to tell me why all the signs of
the Zodiac look like IUDs.
Look at that.
It can't just be coincidence.
Does birth control come from space?
Neil deGrasse Tyson, this one's for you.
New rule, that guy at every wedding who thinks it'd be a treat for everyone if he breakdances
has to sit down.
You're not the life of the party.
You're the drunk guy who just kicked Grandma in the face.
And finally, new rule, if we're going to have a new roaring 20s,
Let's not repeat the mistakes of the last one.
I keep reading that America is poised
for a roaring 20s, 21st century edition.
A repeat of that decade a century ago,
and just like now, the United States emerged from a pandemic,
ready to party as if there was cocaine in the Coca-Cola,
which there was.
There was in the 20s, yes.
And now, after a year of masking and distancing,
I know I'm ready for the party,
and I imagine millions of others,
are also itching to engage in risky behaviors
like air travel, sharing a dessert,
or tweeting what you really think.
And why not?
The 20s was an especially exciting time.
The economy doubled.
The masses could afford a car.
Women stopped wearing 16 layers of clothing.
No dream was too big.
Charles Lindberg became the first anti-Semite
to fly solo across the Atlantic.
Babe Ruth hit a home run,
575 feet hung over with gonorrhea
while eating a pork jaw. And Joe Biden started running for president.
And the stock market was a game where everybody was a winner.
But we all know what happened next. The roaring 20s became the broke-ass 30s.
It turned into a nightmare with the Great Depression, the rise of fascism, and worst of all,
an endless dream of musicals about sailors. And looking at the economic factors right now,
it feels like we're back in that headspace
that will never run out of cash
as long as the Fed doesn't run out of ink.
I'm just saying, if we're going to do
a new roaring 20s,
let's do it this time without the two things
that made the last one suck.
Prohibition and a depression
at the end of it.
I am no money expert.
I only turn on Jim Kramer to scare away
the birds. But it does
seem like the market is a little
divorced from reality these days.
It's odd.
that the real economy has been full of news of unemployment,
bankruptcies, and going out of business signs since COVID hit.
And yet the S&P is up 76% in that time.
It can't go on forever.
We can't all win.
It's not the ticket machine at Chuckie Cheese.
A share of GameStop isn't really worth more than a share of Toyota.
To bail ourselves out of that depression,
we spent over 10 years, over 10 years, 6% of our growth,
national product. To get out of COVID, we spent in one year 26%. The way we're handing out money,
you would think it had an expiration date on it. In 2008, when the global economy was on the edge of
collapse, Congress passed what was considered a massive bailout of 700 billion. So massive,
over 100 protests broke out across the country. The Occupy Wall Street movement was born. Now,
The word billion is so last decade.
Congress has passed six trillion
to fight the war on COVID.
Two trillion more than we spent to win World War II.
You know, the big one.
Four years of desperate fighting
against a murderer's row of bad guys
all over the world and under it.
Not to mention this thing was kind of expensive to make.
All that.
In today's dollars, four trillion.
This?
Six trillion.
So look, the other thing we have to do in the new Roaring 20s is end the drug war.
This time, a little slow on that, stoners.
But there's donors.
But seriously, this time, can we have the big party without having to worry about getting arrested
for doing the drugs that keep the party going in the first place?
Because in the 1920s, America banned alcohol.
for reasons which are still mysterious
to me. Hey, we're about to throw this
giant rager that goes on for 10 years.
Make sure no one brings booze.
So let's get rid of our own
prohibition, aka the drug war
and go straight to the part where we admit
it doesn't work.
The White House...
It's okay.
The White House, unfortunately, is going
in the wrong direction.
What the fuck, Joe?
Well, you really got to give it to the drug war.
It is bipartisan. It was
50 years ago when Nixon announced
that drugs were, quote, public enemy number
one, and told Elvis
to get rid of them by taking them all.
So much of the
rot in our society stems
from our modern day version of prohibition.
The people fleeing at the border.
That's the drug war.
The record-shattering amount
of incarceration this country does
with all its implications for racial
injustice, wasted lives,
and skewed elections because so many
felons can't vote. That's the
drug war. Other people get
it. Mexico legalized weed
this month. Canada
did it two years ago. Why are we
always the last at everything now?
Portugal
ran this experiment. They
decriminalized all drugs
10 years ago and they had less than
100 overdose deaths
last year.
We have 81,000.
The war is over.
West Virginia lost.
Thank you very much. That's our
show. We're off next week. I'll be with my solar back on the night. I want to thank Brett Stevens,
Caitlin Flanagan, and Christopher Krebs. And thank you, folks. And thank my solar friends who got it done.
Appreciate it.
Catch all new episodes of Real Time with Bill Maher every Friday night at 10 or watch them anytime on HBO on demand.
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