Real Time with Bill Maher - Ep. #562: Sharon Osbourne, Ian Bremmer, Rosa Brooks

Episode Date: April 17, 2021

Bill’s guests are Sharon Osbourne, Ian Bremmer, and Rosa Brooks. (Originally aired 4/16/21) See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO late-night series, Real Time with Bill Maugh. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I appreciate it. Thank you so much. Thank you. You're so kind.

I appreciate that. Thank you to coming to my classroom. I see the same faces every week. But we love you for doing that for us. And I'm so excited because 420 is... I know. There's only four

copping days left. I'm so excited. I haven't even started my baking. But I just know it's going to be a great holiday. If people, if you're squares at home and you don't know, 420. 420 is the holiday stone.

It's where you stay home from work, get stoned all day, and eat junk food. Previously known as 2020. But hey, I'm going to start with some good news. We are finally getting out of Afghanistan. That is the big political news this week. Wow. No Biden.

America is not anymore the world's policemen. If we were, we'd have shot them. I mean, wow, this... All the news is shootings, police, citizens. Horrible shooting today. people at Indianapolis. We've had 45 mass shootings in the last month. And in a related story, our long-term study on the effectiveness of thoughts and prayers is in, no, doesn't work. No, we studied it. And then this latest atrocity did it happen right in Minneapolis while

the trial is going on. And it turns out the guy who was shot pulled over because he had an air freshener hanging from his rear-viewed mirror, which apparently is actually an eagle. illegal thing in five states. An air fresher hanging from Europe because apparently that's very dangerous. Yeah, it can lead to getting pulled over and shot by the cops. I mean, I'm trying to be fair

to the cops, too, but come on, fellas, ladies. But the good news is Joe Biden is kicking ass. 59% approval rating, 72% approve of what he's doing with COVID, including 55% of Republicans. What a Republicans are

A lot of Republicans are saying Boy, are we glad this guy stole the election? But, I mean, getting out of Afghanistan is a big fucking deal, to quote Joe himself. Big, I mean, two presidents before him, Obama and Trump said they would do it, promised to end the war, didn't. Biden just fucking did it.

He overruled the generals. He's president, I'm too old for this shit. But I'm telling you, getting out of Afghanistan is not going over well, with everybody. Did you see Lindsey Graham? Oh, he is taking it very hard. Lindsay knows where our boys should be.

No, he is not happy about getting out of Afghanistan. I saw him on the talk shows. He had that look on his face. He gets... He looks like he got to church and another lady he was wearing the same hat. You know, I don't mean another. But, come on, Afghanistan.

20 years. Matt Gates' girlfriends weren't even born when this war started. It's about time. Oh, more allegations with there. Matt Gates, he's in trouble. Young women now have, we're talking to CNN this week, and they were talking about the parties.

He used to have cocaine, ecstasy, pill-popping, lots of sex. Who knew Republicans could party like this? It sounds like an orgy. And, you know, Republican orgies are a little different. How so, Bill? Well, I'll tell you how. If he, if he, if he,

You hear somebody saying, who's your daddy? They're trying to verify a ballot signature. That's how they're different. Oh, you're a great crowd. Thank you. But Matt Gates, he says he is innocent of any sexual impropriety. He said, it's all a big misunderstanding. He said, yes, I pulled out my dick in front of a 17-year-old. I thought it was a taser.

He's just... They're shameless, these Republicans. Oh, and sadness in Great Britain today, this is their burying Prince Philip. You saw he died last week at 99. And the queen is already dating Hunter Biden. Well, it makes sense. He has a thing for widows,

and she has a thing for bad teeth. And they're both open to sex with relatives. Anyway, are you sitting down? Because big news this week, The Bachelor came out as gay. You didn't see? Oh, this is big stuff. I mean, there were clues that Colton Underwood, he said, there were clues.

Because he said on the show, he hadn't dated many women. He called himself an accidental virgin. And then on the last episode, when he proposed to Liza Minnelli. All right, we got a great show. We got Ian Bremmer and Rosa Brooks. But first up, she is the TV personality who, after 11 seasons, is the last of the original co-host to leave The Talk. Please welcome.

Sharon Osborne is over here. They still love you. Hello. Hi. Hello. How are you? Oh, good. Well, that's...

Look at that. That's nice. That's very nice. Say, aren't you glad you came? Yeah, just to hear that, I know. Well, obviously, you're here to talk about Brexit. Now, do you believe if the... No.

No. So, I've been hearing about how all the people around your little scandal have been doing. How are you, is what I wanted to ask first. of you, first of all. It's so many different things. I'm angry, I'm hurt. But you're always a strong one.

Oh, I'm a fighter. Oh, we know that one. So I'm like... Oh. Yeah. Well, let's do a quick recap of the tragic events of 310. Oh.

So on your ironically titled show, The Talk. Yes. You were talking. And if there's one lesson from this, is that's not allowed anymore. So I just want to say, my view, is nothing happened.

On the time, we'll get to other stuff. But on your show, I don't think anything happened. Because what happened was a few weeks before, maybe the week before, I don't know, I remember I watched it, Megan Markle and Prince Harry gave their interview with Oprah. Okay, then your friend Pierce Morgan, he's a commentator in Britain, he said he didn't believe things that Megan Markle said. Right.

And then on your show, you said, well, he's a good friend of mine, and I don't necessarily agree with his opinion, but he is entitled to his opinion. Exactly. So he was called a racist and lost his job, and you were called a racist and lost your job. Do I have it right?

You got it right. That's exactly how it went. Right. Who's the racist, and why? This is what I'm trying to figure out. Have you? Me too. Okay.

Me too. I've been called so many things in my life. I am so used to being called names but a racist is one I will not take. Yeah, it's an insult if you're not one. I mean, I don't understand the other side of the argument there.

In other words, like, you have to agree with everything Megan Markle says or you're a racist? Is this the standard now? Is this what you think what they're trying to say? Unless you agree with every person of color, then you're, that seems insane. They would, okay, I'm trying to go back and think of the words that somebody who's meant to be an expert in woke language, as is acceptable today.

Right, it is a whole language. Yes, saying that it took away her feelings, and she's entitled to her feelings. And she was stripped of those by Pierce, and that she was having mental problems because she was unhappy. and so he was stripping her of her feelings, which she's entitled to. Megan? Yes. Well, is she even aware? I mean, I think it's very difficult, as you know now,

that you've been through something like this. And I'm sure when she got married to Prince Harry, she thought it was going to be like a Disney movie on marrying the prince. No, she said she felt like the little mermaid. Right. Right. And then, of course, the reality sets in and being the princess is really

cutting the ribbon at some waste management facility opening in Shitterville. You know, I mean, it's not a... It's not glamorous. And I'm sure the royal family was cold to her. Now, could that have been because of race? Possibly, the old

bags are hundred, you know? I mean... What? No, I'm just saying, I think there's an element of that in there. Come on, they're from the empire that the old school. But also, I think they're just cold to everyone. She's from a different generation. Right, they're cold

people and she took it probably some of it was racism and some of it took us racism like, no, they're cold to everybody. Girl? Yeah, they are they are notoriously they're notoriously non-huggy. No, they're not

hugging. Step up her lip. That's what you British people used to be known for. Right, so, and you know, I get it. She's because of her age. You know, she's a different generation. Right. Okay. So, and Pierce, I mean, Pierce, Morgan, I've heard you say, or read it somewhere, he's, this is an old friend of yours.

I mean, you said that you slapped him? Oh, we'd had terrible fights. You got drunk together, he's seen your tits? Just one. Okay, well. But just a friend? Oh, he's... Just a friend, right?

He's just a mate of mine. We've worked together. And then how did he see a tit? Because... It's a reasonable question. I mean... Behave. Okay.

So, anyway, yes, I did slap peers. We had a fight in Mr. Charles one night, and it was brilliant. And we make up the next day. Right. And let me... You mentioned this, and I'm going to have the exact quote. It's from Elaine Wilteroth. She's one of your co-host or was?

Yes, yes. Okay. I think when you deny a woman or a woman of color, their truth and their experiences, you're not just denying them. You're denying every woman and woman of color who sees themselves in this person's story. But deny a woman, he's doubting her.

Doubting. That's not the same as denying. No, it's not. You're entitled to your thing, and I'm entitled to doubt. She's entitled to her opinion. Pierce is entitled to his. Right.

And that's what it's all about. That's what it's all about. And then, you know, You're entitled to have a disagreement. Discuss it in a normal way. Right. All this drama. It's like... For somebody saying, I don't agree with my friend,

but he's entitled to his opinion. Or even I do agree with him, you could have said, would have been okay in my book. Sure. Right. Sure. I mean, I didn't agree with everything she said. She said, Harry had the way to the world on his shoulders.

Really? He's sixth in line for a job. that has no responsibility. No power. Okay. I... Look, it's... You know when they say, like, white privilege?

Right there with Harry. Right there. He is the poster boy. So it's like, you know, he sits there and says, oh, daddy cut him off. So he's not on the wages anymore. And he was boo-hooing about it. You can't feel empathy for that

because you're a healthy, bright... educated young man you can go do whatever you want to do your life is your own and they're living in a giant mansion next door to Oprah which is great I mean God bless them fantastic let everyone

just do you think just do you think that's all but disagreeing with somebody does not make you a racist in my book no of course not so let's get on to the other part of it which is that this is

a this is a part of culture that I'm not loving where everyone is a snitch now like something comes out and so your current host is what I've read you tell me, yeah, current hosts have said they never heard you say anything

racist, right? But some of the past ladies they said you talk shit you know. No, you can say it. Okay, I mean the Asian slur, lesbian slur because, okay, this is what

okay. my my okay I don't know we don't condone any bad language anywhere but I'm just saying first of all we're talking about four ladies can I I know men are dogs we always men are and men are bitches I'm glad you I'm glad you said it not me and that's the way it goes that's the way it goes we'll go oh Jesus did you see what she was just wearing and then you go hi oh you look great You know, we're bitches, and that's the way it is, and this has brought it all out. So you're owning talking shit about them in a way, being... They used the wrong terms.

Because they probably said it about you. No, I never ever said that Remini, Leah Remini was a whatever she said. I don't even use those words. They're not in my vocabulary. And for Holly, you know, I think I said it all when I'm pretty, the text that she said me after she said I got her fired. In the text she says, I know it was Julie,

I know it was Les, I'm thinking of suing, it's disgruntled ladies. So, okay, so now what about this story now that I'm reading about something with someone who was Iranian? Yes. You call the Persian something? No, no, no. They gate crashed my husbands

and my 20th wedding anniversary. We're not invited. Don't know who's. this woman from a hole in the wall. I was on chemo. So you were crashed, not invited. Not invite? Don't know this person. Don't know her. I wouldn't know her.

Not a guest of a guest? Don't know her. She gate crashed a party. She won a raffle. Won a raffle, which was a diamond necklace. Right. And she took it. Well, she won it. No, right. She did win the raffle.

Are you saying she cheated on that too? Well, no. I mean, anyone who crashed a party would cheat on a raffle. But I don't know. And it was just, it was a very personal thing because we had our 25th wedding anniversary. I was still battling cancer.

She took the necklace and I said, I tell you what? I don't know what I said to her, but it wasn't very nice. Right. And I told it to bring that fucking necklace back now, you bitch face, whatever, because I had it. I had had it. I'm like,

you ruined my party. You ruin everything. I don't even know you. Okay, so, and maybe this wasn't your finest hour. My point would be, we can't judge everybody by their worst moment. No. So maybe you lost your, you know, it's like, how about

just, I shouldn't do that, I won't do it again. I don't say, I mean, you did issue an apology for this, and it was like, I don't, I read in it the words like, I'm going to educate myself. No, we could all do better, of course. We could all do better. I'm trying to do better. But the idea that, this idea in

culture now. That people need to re-educate themselves, indoctrinate themselves. I'm sorry, I'm 65, you're 68. I know who I am. I don't need re-education. Do you need re-education?

68, you've been around the world, you're married to a rock star, you've been with the A-lister's and rock and roll and everything. Fuck, like you need to, huh, race, tell me all about it. It's just, it's fantasy. People are who they... This word that they throw out

about the cancel culture and it is... It's like, what are you doing? I'm going to be fine. I'm fine. As I say, I'm a fighter. I'm doing just fine. Can I read... This is in the tabloids, which I don't read. I do every week. It's one of my guilty...

But everyone is lining up to get Sharon Osborne's first interview. Wait, I'm right here. I did it. What do you do? Okay. Listen to this. Oh, go on. Don't worry about it. Sharon, she's not looking for work, it's looking for her.

There have been offers for Sharon to host her own solo show and even talk of her working with peers on a late night, quote, politically incorrect show. Wait, I did a show actually called Politically Incorrect. It's exactly what I... I've heard none of this. None of this. That's not true, but however, I'm a fighter. I'm fine.

I'm doing just fine. Right. What about the people that are cut from the knees down? and they can't afford to go and get lessons on what's politically correct and how to talk to people. It's what happens to them. Right. You know, it's not fair.

It's not fair because it isn't about being a racist. It's about maybe not knowing what is correct and woke for your language that day because it changes from day to day. What is correct and what isn't. And you read white for day. Right. Yes, somebody gave you that, oh, that woman gave you the book, White Fragile. Right. And I read it, and some of it is very informative. And the other, I'm like, I don't agree with you. Right. I do not agree. Exactly. I don't have to agree with everything. I mean, the idea in there is that you have two choices.

If you're white, you're either a racist or a racist, and you don't know it. I'm not down with that. No, I'm not down with that either. I know who raised me. That's right. I knew who my friends are. You know who you are. I know who I have true. treated people. That's right. Right. And the thing is you cannot blanket any race. You cannot. There's good and bad in every race. You don't blank it.

We'll see you on your next show. I believe the Inquirer. All right. Catherine Osborne, everybody. All right. Let's meet our panel. Thank you. Okay. He is the president of Eurasia Group, my old job. And GZero Media

host PBS's GZero World with Ian Bremer. Ian Bremer, not surprisingly. Okay, and she's the former senior Pentagon official, my other old job, under President Obama, and author of the new book, Tangled Up in Blue Policing the American City. Rosa Brooks is over here.

Okay, well, you know, with all the policing that was in the news last week or so, I said to my staff, I said, can you book me a brilliant journalist who quit her job in her 40s to actually become a cop. Just give me a list. And you were the only one on the list. I shouldn't even have been on the list, Phil. I didn't actually quit myself.

But you actually became a cop. I did. And what did you learn from that experience that would help us get through this difficult moment in American history? So I learned here's a dirty little secret about cops that they don't really get much training and how to use their weapons. When I went through the police academy, we had two weeks of firearms training. First week was just in the classroom, second week, about three hours a day on the range. And then you qualify, you're done. Twice a year you re-qualify.

You watch a few PowerPoint slides as a refresher, and you're done. This is about the amount of what I put into it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we've got a lot of people walking around with lethal weapons who don't really know what they're doing. Interesting. And it seemed to me the theme, a lot of it was that cynicism is really the overarching problem.

I mean, racism is part of it. A lot of things are part of it, but they're just beaten down. We ask cops to be social workers and medics and warriors and mediators and any one of those jobs is really hard, and most people can't do any one of those jobs

really well. If you ask some 25-year-old to do all of them in the same 10-hour shift, they're going to do them really badly. Yeah. And, you know, suicide kills more cops every single year than every other cause combined. Did you see Pat Robertson is speaking out against the cops?

I mean, he came across as woke in that interview. The only time I would ever use that word to say, Pat Robertson. I don't know if he's literally woke. I mean, come on. I mean, it's not, you also said you think most cops are decent, compassionate people. You know, most people don't wake up in the morning saying, I want to go fuck some people's lives up today. A few people do.

Some do. Most don't. But they're working in a system that even if you're a good cop, you're going to screw people's lives up. Well, I was gratified to see in your book that there was like a number of things that I've been saying here for many years. I said it last week on the show about, you know, it's not in the top 10 of risky jobs.

We get it. There is danger and certainly a lot of stress. But it's not, and it's right in your book. It's not in the top 10. And my thing with them is at some point, they got it in their head that if they were in any danger at all, just empty the clip into what's making you nervous. And that is more than anything else what has to stop.

And this was kind of the unofficial lesson of your training. They're too jittery, right? And you say it's because it's kind of put in their head. You watch these videos over and over of cops getting killed. And obviously cops do get killed, and there are all sorts of horrific. Cops get killed, but not that many of them actually. get killed because most people aren't trying to kill them. But if all you hear over and over is there's no such thing as a routine call,

any situation could turn lethal in a millisecond, then you go into all your interactions, prime to think that everybody's a threat, somebody reaches into their pocket, you don't think, oh, they're reaching for a tissue or their phone, you think, going to kill me! And then you get panicky cops without much weapons training, and they shoot and people end up dead.

Yeah. This guy who got tased? Yeah. Did he even need... We're supposed to be tased and got shot. Did he even need to be tased? I mean, yes, he was resisting arrest. He was driving away. But was it

that important to stop him? No. Exactly. Exactly. Aren't he looking at a worse accident about it? Yes. I mean, I just asked myself, there are lots of countries around the world, democracies, wealthy democracies that have police forces. We don't see this problem. We don't. This country is so incredibly divided.

And, you know, Blue Lives Matter. Blue Lives Matter has become a political litmus test for which country in the United States you're a part of. And if you're a member of the police force, you're automatically on one side of that. And that makes it so much harder to do the right thing or to interfere when someone has their knee

on someone's neck and is taking their life. And to your point, we're not really allowed to have two thoughts in our head at the same time. And the two thoughts here would be like there is absolutely no excuse for what happened to any, you know, these people when they got shot.

No, we cannot. But it's also good advice, don't resist arrest. That's not an excuse for the cop shooting this person, but that just never ends well. That is not the place to make your stand. The one thing that I think people lose

sight of, although less and less, because I think the debate about policing has really changed in some really healthy ways in this country. is that we, cops don't make the laws they enforce. We're the bozos who vote for the bozos who make the stupid laws that lead cops to arrest people for stupid stuff. Like the air freshener.

Like the air freshener? Right. These fucking legislatures sit around all day trying to justify their job, write dumb laws, and then somebody has to enforce the law. No, they don't actually, though. But hang on a second there. I mean, there are laws that we really don't need to enforce, but if we pass them and say to the cops, you do it, they're going to go do it.

That's what I'm saying. And, you know, I was thinking about this, right? You all may remember, I did not remember, that April 15th was when IRS estimated taxes were due. Not this year. If you forget. We gave up on money this year. We're just printing it. But if you miss that deadline, right, the IRS doesn't send a guy with a gun to your front door the next day.

They send you a nasty letter. And then they send you another nasty letter. and then they send you another nasty letter, and that goes on for about six years. And eventually you might get a summons to go to court. Well, but we've decided as a country that we want to have armed, uniformed people enforce civil regulations.

And inevitably, that means more traffic stops. It means more people die because those interactions are really fraught. It's crazy. We don't need to do that. We don't need to do that at all. There's absolutely no reason to be pulling people over for stupid, stuff like that. We could have speed cameras, we could have civilians who write tickets based

on the license plate number, we could just decide that the air freshen is just one of those things that we're just going to have to live with. But we do know that race is an issue here. Of course. Right. And I mean, you know, I'm kind of aware of the fact that we're three white folks that are talking about this right now. But that's okay. I know it's okay. Three white people are allowed to talk. We're allowed. We're allowed. But we are sorry every show can't be a Benetton ad. I'm not just, I know, but you kind of It's always like, well, we... No, it's more just that

the structural racism that is in the system, which is far deeper than just policing, is something that if you're a black person being pulled over, resisting arrest is a hell of a lot more dangerous than if you're a white person pulled over. That's the only point I want to make. I mean, it's so deep...

It's so deep in the system that in the Freddie Gray, tragedy, atrocity, the entire echelon was black. The mayor was black. The DA was black. The chief of the police were black. Some of the officers who carried it out.

You know, so that's how deep in the system it goes. Rashida Talib, who is the congresswoman from, I see you rolling your eyes. Yeah. From Detroit. That's your tell. Yeah. It is my tell. That's a tell here in the poker game.

Well, let me say what she did. She's calling for no more policing or incarceration. The criminals will be on the honor system? I mean, I thought defund the police was a terrible slogan, but no police, this is always, I mean, I've done many editorials on this, the Democrats Achilles heel, common sense. Common sense. You strike people as not having any common sense when you say things.

I'm sorry, I stole you. I know, I just wish that we weren't spending so much time broadly in the country treating Rashida Tlaib and, you know, Marjorie Taylor Green as some sort of icons of where the parties are trying to become

or the base trying to become because the things they're saying are thoroughly senseless but they get a lot of attention. That's why. What do you think the media is going to cover? Well, here we are. Something boring, Tim Kane?

No, they're going to cover... But let me defend Rashida's Lieb. I actually think, I mean, she's got a point, right? It's a bad slogan. It's a bad slogan. No, it's a bad slogan defund the police. terrible slogan. You say to any cup.

No, this is no police. Even they abolish the police. Bad slogan. Really bad slogan. Really bad policy. But I think if we get behind that rhetoric, I mean beyond the rhetoric, not getting behind it like I love it, but get beyond that rhetoric to say the sort of reimagined public safety, ask ourselves, what do we need armed people for?

Some things. Sure, sure for sure. But other things, not actually. Then don't say what you don't mean. And then you mean reform. And there's a lot of cops. Then you mean do it differently. Then don't say.

Abolished. You know, it's true. I don't get this argument. When I talk to my friends who are police... Read my mind. Here's what I say, but you know I mean. They start saying I'm only kidding about the actual abolish part pretty quickly, but it's not helpful. All right.

So let's go to Afghanistan because this is depressing, and this one is, well, it's going to be depressing in Afghanistan. It's all depressing. It's all depressing. But I'm sorry. The fact that Biden did this, I got to say, this is our longest war, if you don't count the war on drugs. And, you know, I heard we wanted to get out for the longest time. We tried everything. I remember Ron Paul used to say about Iraq when they would say,

We can't leave. We got it. And he would say, we marched in. We can march right out. And by God, he was right. If we can just click our heels and find out, we could always go home. And we can't. And finally, we had a present with the balls to say, look, I know.

The other side of this is not going to look good. It is going to be a bloodbath. They are going to be playing soccer with people's heads two minutes after we're gone. And women... It sounds so appealing. But what he seems to be saying is, for 20 years it didn't change.

We could be there another 5 or 10. The second we leave, it's going to go back to that. What can we do? As the Taliban said, you have the watches. We have the time. I'm with you, but let's keep in mind. We can't give him credit yet. He's made the statement.

They're still there. Okay? Oh, well, if he said we're out by 9-11, made that big announcement, banner headlines, and then didn't do it, oh, I think he's going to do it. He's going to do it. They will be gone by 9-11. I mean, Biden had said before when he was vice president

that they would be out before the end of the Obama administration. It did not happen. He's president now. It's much more on him. I get it. And Trump, of course, said he wanted him out, and that got kicked. the can't got kicked too.

Look, 20 years and a trillion dollars and 2,500 American servicemen and women dead, I mean, there's no question. This is not a popular policy to continue for this president. 70% of Americans say they want out. So it's not all that hard for Biden to say, let's get out.

What he needs to do is be sure that we don't get hit by terrorists. Well, it certainly was hard for the last two guys. So I am giving him credit because he seems to be doing, he seems to be doing what they couldn't do. You know, because it's that

sunken cost fallacy. You know, I already gave a gypsy $100,000. I'd better keep going with it. Yeah. Yeah. I actually think... People have been very unfair to Joe Biden. You know, people would always quote that former Defense Secretary Bob Gates saying

Biden was wrong about every issue for decades. And I think actually it turns out Biden was right about quite a lot of them. The rest of us were wrong. And I give him a huge amount of credit for me. I think he will be I mean, I'm saying this after like less than 100 days, but he looks to me like the president who

in the future we will compare to Truman. He seems Truman-esque. Again, he's... I'm too old for this shit. He just is like, you know what? What are they going to do? What are they going to do? Look, he's going to be remembered... Is it one-termer? He's going to be remembered, barring any

unforeseen crises of which there can be many. He's going to be remembered for having the largest government expansion program since the New Deal. And that matters to Americans, as it should. But I will tell you that saying you're going to get out on 9-11, I mean, I don't think so. I will just say that if 9-11 is going to become a big deal around this announcement,

I mean, the Taliban love that because... Well, they already... Come on. He's just acknowledging the fact they already won, and they did, and they know it. You know, we've had this... We did a thing once on the show about zombie lies. We coined that term. I've seen it other places since, but okay. And one of the zombie lies, and these are lies that are proven wrong a long time ago but live on,

one of them with this is that we needed to be there to stop the plotting for the next 9-11. Okay, they don't need a country to plot. They plotted the last one in Hamburg, Germany. They just need a room. And by the way, they have most of Afghanistan anyway. Anyone in the world can plot the next 9-11 from anywhere. We don't have to be in Afghanistan to stop the next plot. It's so stupid.

We have the ability to send in special forces. We have intelligence. If what you're trying to do is stop terrorism, you don't need to be on the ground. And what you're trying to do is improve the lives of Afghan people. We're going to be the world's leading vaccine exporter within a few months. We can help them.

There are things we can do. But fighting 20 years, I mean, if this was a bad relationship, the kids would be in college by now. The kids would be and are in the army by now. Sometimes when a foreigner gives a kid a vaccine, you know what the Taliban does? They cut off the arm, you know. I mean, I'm getting that from apocalypse now,

but I think that kind of shit is... No, it's going to be bad, but it's going to be bad with us or without us. Yes, it's going to be bad. And that's why it's a gutsy decision, because there is going to be... Yeah, I hate to see that. All right, so for those people who think that California is just a bunch of hippies and hipsters,

I have to tell you, there's a lot of right-wingers in this state, show this picture from Huntington Beach. This is right. Huntington Beach. It's right next to Hermosa Beach. The great Hermosa Comedy Club. Comedy and Magic Club is there. And look at it. They had a White Lives Matter rally in Huntington Beach.

And we sent one of our reporters and he got some pictures of the signs they were holding up. Would you like to see them? From the white... These are a little different from the White Lives Matter. There was no mayonnaise, no peace. That's Just sweet Karen

They're fired up But in the wrong direction I sunburn easily and I vote These people Free Lori Loughlin The whole world Is binge watching We're the ones we've been waiting for

And they won't seat us until we're all here marriage of the same woman for over 35 years, Blue Balls Matter. I'm telling you. Stop hating me for hating you. And if Q isn't real, then who's the guy I've been blowing? All right.

So I'm going to say another place where I think Biden is doing great is environment because he's not talking loudly about it, but everything really is funneled toward that. That's a lot of what the infrastructure bill is. And there's a virtual climate summit coming up that China is participating in. John Kerry is our representative, which is great.

First of all, it's just so great to have smart people back doing important jobs, you know. It's nice to know that the head of Homeland Security isn't Ivanka's wedding planner, you know. There's little signs of normal things. Okay. So basically, we have to find a way to go out. we have a lot of problems with China these days.

We have to find a way we're saying to cooperate just on this one issue, even if we can't come to agreement on everything else. You know, it's like when mom and dad are divorced and they hate each other, but they make a truce to go to the daughter's wedding. We've got to do that with China. The problem is in Fox News Crazyland,

Biden is completely soft on China. He's China's best friend. Of course, this is their bullshit that they're selling now. To the point where they're even, saying maybe we should boycott the Olympics, which is in China, I think the one of the new ones coming up, the delayed ones. You don't think we should boycott the Olympics?

Winter, no. No, we shouldn't boycott the Olympics. But they are vulnerable on the Olympics. You know, back in 2008, when they hosted Beijing Olympics the last time, it's a big deal, coming out party for China. Shee Jinping was in charge of that, personally. Like, he was the guy figuring out, like, he knew

where the bathrooms were going. Like, he was, this was very personal for him. And he is... He was the Mitt Romney of... Yeah. And he is deeply concerned that he's going to take a lot of political flag. So behind the scenes, you've got Chinese leaders

that are saying, what can we do to make sure that this doesn't go awry for us? And that does give us an opportunity. And I think the fact that Biden is talking to American allies, seriously, not about boycotting everything, because our allies won't go along with us. And we don't want to be by ourselves. But about diplomatic boycott.

about protests that some of the athletes can have, about making sure that when we go in, what we do, we don't do alone. And I think that matters. Final thing, when Biden was talking to Xi Jinping, the way he put this together, the first call his president, it was, look, this is not going to be a cooperative relationship. It is a competitive relationship.

But if you want this to be a healthy competition or an unhealthy competition, it's up to you. and we need to see from the Chinese how they want to play that. So far, the marks have not been good. Because they're winning. No. Oh, those are fighting words. I know.

I mean, I did a thing about this. Got picked up a lot, and I know you disagreed with that. But here's just today in the paper. China reported on Friday its economy grew by 18.3% in the first three months of the year. 18 is a big number That's a very big number That's compared to first quarter last year When it was shut down

I know Our numbers next quarter will be incredibly gaudy If you look at second quarter to second quarter Same thing, it's unique, it's a pandemic I understand It's okay But there are bigger numbers I'm here to help

I know but I mean my point When I was did that whole thing about how we're a silly people Is that we can't seem to do anything anymore I mean we're talking for 10 minutes before About reforming the police Can we actually do it? Now, we've had some good news with Biden in office. We seem to be able to do some things.

But will we be able to build rail lines for less than this extorbitant graft price as opposed to other countries? We were talking about that last week. Will we be able to even just fix the pothold? The mail. You know, I used to defend the post office. Now, I'm sorry, guys. It's just, I can't trust you. Nothing gets there.

You know, I mean, will we'll be. be able to reopen schools. I mean, Texas didn't have electricity. We don't seem like we are the country that has the eye of the tiger. But you said, you said, Biden is Truman. You can't say Biden is Truman at the same time say that we can't do anything. Give him a little time. Give him a little bit of a chance here. Just tell me which side of the argument you want to be on. We can play. Well, you're reducing my argument. And even if he was, one man can't change the nature of the whole country. But we've got all rot goes so much deep.

What? All those other nice smart people hanging around in Washington now. No, I'm not kidding. We're just repeating your argument. It's not a longest wedding planner. I think we're going to do okay. Things are definitely better.

It's just for the very longest time. We can't even, whenever we say we're going to do something big, it's like, well, by 2035, it's like, oh, for fuck's sake. I do want to say. We'll be dead by 2030. This pandemic has been the worst crisis of our lifetimes, not just in the U.S. but globally.

And we've done a lot of things wrong, but the economic response domestically of the United States this crisis, first bipartisan under Trump, and now under Biden, even bigger, by far the most effective economic response of any major economy in the world. Vaccines. By far the best

and most effective response of any country around the world, while the Chinese have vaccines that the head of the CDC in China says, oh, they don't really work very well. Okay, but they were back to partying like when we were still locked down. It's good. They'll be distracted by their parties and we'll win.

If you know where people want to invest, But you know what, I mean, like the Johnson and Johnson vaccine came out this week out of 7 million people, six, they're all women, I don't know if that's significant or just a coincidence, but it's only 6 out of 7 million had blood clots. I mean, all vaccine, they're drugs, all drugs have side effects. Six out of 7 million.

I mean, six, there's more deaths on people doing TikTok stunts every week. I worry about our population, not being a sophisticated population. That is what I worry about what's going on in our colleges. Are we preparing the best and the brightest instead of the whineiest and the wokeest? You know, that's the future of who's going to rule and run this world. I mean, we still kick ass in some areas, right? Don't computing? Don't we? Smart phones, obviously.

Things like, no? Yeah, the Chinese are very good at that too. But, I mean, trillions of dollars being spent on. the average American over 10 years is going to matter. And the level of corruption in China, the level of poverty in China, even the buildings and the rails you talk about, the average building the Chinese built lasts for 20, 25 years. The United States, it lasts for 40 to 50.

There's a reason why we are still the world's most powerful country. And I'm not saying we don't have big structural problems. I'm just saying China's not eating our lunch, that's all. Okay. I hope you're right. And as a law professor, the kids are all right. Kids really are all right. I mean, I like them. They're smart. They're not, it's the same thing. It's like Rashida Taleb and Marjorie Taylor Green. They don't represent the United States. And the brattiest and winiest kids don't represent the average. I agree. They don't represent. But they do dominate. They dominate the media. They dominate the media. Yeah, well, okay, but that dominates what people think. That, you know, that's unfortunately the game. I'll tell you what worries me about China. And Ian is an expert on the economic issues here, but I am concerned that we are in danger of falling behind from a military readiness perspective.

And I'm a little bit, that's the one area where I worry that the Biden administration is not maybe putting as much energy as it needs to. We have, you know, we do. We have enormous land forces. They cost a lot of money. I'm a military spouse. I will die before I give it my Home Depot 10% discount. but we waste a huge amount of money when it comes to the Defense Department

that we should be spending on a whole different set of things. I mean, just as he announced this, a few days before, the budget came out, 2% increase in defense spending. And this, no matter who the president is, whether it's dumb-ass Donald Trump or kick-ass Joe Biden, whether it's Obama or Bush, this is the constant. We just, Eisenhower was so right,

we cannot tame this beast. the military industrial complex. We cannot stop it. We just can't. It's sad. That's a problem, yeah. Yeah, we outspend the Chinese massively, and we spend it almost all on legacy systems and inbuilt infrastructure that won't be the future

in 10 and 20 years. We've got to spend on new technology. All right. Thank you. Very enlightening. I appreciate it. Time for new rules, everybody. New rules. Okay. New rule, Colton Underwood,

the Virgin Christian Bachelor, didn't have to come out and tell us he was gay. We got that from Virgin Christian Bachelor. Next up, a real housewife with four restaurants comes clean. I'm not really much of a cook. The rule, now that Domino's is going to start delivering with a fleet of autonomous pizza delivery robots, they have to prepare for the possibility

that every baked due to orders of peach is going to try to ride it. Trust me to stoners, that's not a robot. It's a mechanical bull that comes with snacks. In a few months, you won't even be known as Domino's anymore. You'll be known as free Uber. Neuro, I don't condone looting, but if you're going to loot, pick a better store than Dollar Tree.

Why go for the expired toothpaste and dinty more beef stew when you could loot Whole Foods and enjoy some vegan sprouted ancient maize flakes? On second thought, you're right. Stick with the Dollar Tree. I've got to go to Whole Foods later myself. Neuro, stop calling everything,

complete game changer. Your new razor is not a complete game changer. Your palaton bike is not a complete game changer. Those ultra-realistic sex robots that are coming on the market. Okay, those are a complete game changer. There are old

billboards against distracted driving have to be less distracting. It's a tinge of irony every time my eyes leave the road just to read a sign that says my eyes shouldn't stay on the road. Look, if you really want to curb, distracted driving, send a message where I'm already looking. Text me.

And finally, new rule, don't spin me when it comes to my health. Over the past year, the COVID pandemic has prompted the medical establishment, the media, and the government to take a scared, straight approach to getting the public to comply

with their recommendations. Well, I'm from a different school. Give it to me straight, Doc. Because in the long run, that always works better than you can't handle the truth. Now, I get it. Doctors tell people lies

because they don't trust you to finish the antibiotics after your dick starts feeling better. And media? Well, I think we all know if it bleeds, it leads. The more they can get you to stay inside and watch their panic porn, the higher the ratings. Researchers at Dartmouth built a database recently monitoring the COVID coverage of the major news outlets

across the world and found that while other countries mix the good news in with the bad, the U.S. national media reported almost 90% bad news. Even as things were getting better, the reporting remained negative. And politicians, they lie because it's their nature

to cover their ass so they don't get blamed if things goes badly. And also to keep in practice. But, when all of our sources for medical information have an agenda to spin us, yeah, you wind up with a bad

misinformed population, including on the left. Liberals often mock the Republican misinformation bubble, which of course is very real. Ask anyone who works at Hillary's pizza parlor. And we do know conservatives have some loopy ideas about COVID, like the third of Republicans who believe it couldn't be spread by someone showing no symptoms. But what about liberals? You know, the high information by the science people? In a recent Gallup survey, Democrats, did much worse than Republicans in getting the right answer to the fundamental question,

what are the chances that someone who gets COVID will need to be hospitalized? The answer is between 1 and 5%. 41% of Democrats thought it was over 50%. Another 28% put the chances at 20 to 49.

So almost 70% of Democrats are wildly off on this key question and also have a greatly exaggerated view of the danger of COVID-2 and the mortality rate among children. All of which explains why today the states with the highest share of schools that are still closed are all blue states. So if the right-wing media bubble has to own things like climate change denial, shouldn't

liberal media have to answer for, how did your audience wind up believing such a bunch of crap about COVID? A new report in the Atlantic says the media won't stop putting pictures of the beach on stories about COVID, even though it's looking increasingly like the beach, is the best place to avoid it. Sunlight is the best disinfected,

and vitamin D is the key to a robust immune system. Texas lifted its COVID restrictions recently, and their infection rates went down, in part because of people getting outside should let the sun and water. wind do their thing. But to many liberals,

that can't be right. Because Texas and beach loving Florida have Republican governors. But life is complicated. I've read that the governor of Florida reads. I know we like to think of Florida

as only middle school teachers on bath salts having sex with their students in front of an alligator. But apparently the governor is also a voracious consumer of the scientific literature. And maybe that's why he protected his most vulnerable population,

the elderly, way better than did the governor of New York. Those are just facts. I know it's irresponsible of me to say them. Look, here's what I'm saying. I don't want politics mixed in with my medical decisions. And now that everything is politics,

that's all we do. If their side says COVID is nothing, our side has to say it's everything. Trump said it would go away like a miracle. And we said it was World War Z. Trump said we should ingest household disinfectants. And we laughed, as we should, of course. And then it turned out, 19% of America

was literally drenching the fruit in Clorox. And now, of course, we find out that all that paranoia about surfaces would bullshit anyway. even though we spent hours and hours wiping our knobs with Lysol and if you've ever wiped your knob with Lysol.

I think, you know, now go home and wash the mail. If you lie to people, even for a very good cause, you lose their trust. I think a lot of people... Thank you. I think a lot of people died

because it trumps incompetence. And I think a lot of people died because talking about obesity had become a third rail in America. I know you've heard me pound this fried drumstick before.

But since I last mentioned it, a stunning statistic was reported. 78% of those hospitalized, ventilated, or dead from COVID have been overweight. It is the key piece of the puzzle. By far the most

pertinent factor, but you dare not speak its name. Imagine how many lives could have been saved if there had been some national campaign a la Michelle Obama's Let's Move program with the urgency of the pandemic behind it. If the media and the doctors had made a point to keep saying,

but there's something you can do, but we'll never know because they never did. Because the last thing you want to do is say something insensitive. We would literally rather die. Instead, we were told to lock down. Unfortunately, the kids, was already in the house, and her name is Little Debbie. All right, that's our show. We'll be back next week. I want to thank Ian Greber, Rosa Brooks,

and Sharon Osborne, and you. Thank you very much. I appreciate it. Catch all new episodes of Real Time with Bill Maher every Friday night at 10, or watch them anytime on HBO On Demand. For more information, log on to HBO.com.