Real Time with Bill Maher - Ep. #568: Neil deGrasse Tyson, Rachel Bitecofer, Rob Reiner

Episode Date: June 12, 2021

Bill’s guests are Neil deGrasse Tyson, Rachel Bitecofer, and Rob Reiner. (Originally aired 6/11/21) See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's something else here now, something new. From exclusively on Paramount Plus, it's the series Stephen King calls Scarious Hell. Everything here is impossible, but it's also real. Sci-fi Vision calls it the best show streaming right now. We're running out of time and we still don't know the rules. Don't miss what the movie blog calls something you need to watch. Saving those children is how we all go home.

From binge all episodes exclusively on Paramount Plus. Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO late-night series, Real Time with Bill Maugh. Just in singing, allie, okay. Thank you. I appreciate it. Thank you. Thank you.

Oh, thank you very much. Okay. A lot to get to today. Joe Biden, first trip overseas. He is at this hour in England. He has embarked on his, sorry about the last guy tour. He's going to meet with the G7 people. He loves.

landed, you say this, he landed at the airport, and a cicada landed on him, and I can't even, QAnon thinks this is very significant. No, seriously, because, you know, they're all about the letter Q, and it's the 17th letter of the alphabet, and the cicadas come out every 17 years, and it landed on Biden, so the cicadas put out a statement today. They said, could you not drag us into this bullshit, please? We're just cicadas. But Sunday, Biden is going to go to Windsor Castle to meet with the queen, the newly widowed queen.

He was going to express his condolences for her losing Prince Philip, and she's going to express her condolences for Joe losing Joe Manchin. This Joe Manchin, boy, have you been reading about him? For a Democrat, he is a Democrat. the most powerful Republican in the Senate. I tell you, this guy, he has blocked every big thing that the Democrats

want to do, the voting rights legislation, the January 6th commission, even infrastructure. That's fucking dead now. The talks broke down. They said, because of, I love this, irreconcilable differences. Which sounds to me like a marriage

or a divorce, which is appropriate, considering next year they may get the house. But Democrats did win one this week, the Keystone pipeline. You're familiar? That's dead now. And you seem excited about that. No, no.

Yeah, it's probably not good, but don't be too happy because shutting it down will cost thousands of jobs. Mostly have hackers in Moscow who are going to ransom it for Bitcoin. But they are jobs. Speaking of ways, we found out this week that, not we didn't find out, we've known this, but it's worse than ever, billionaires. And I'm talking about the top of the top, of the richest of the rich, don't pay any taxes. And this is the kind of stuff that really pisses people off. Jeff Bezos this morning was walking down his driveway, and he found out somebody keyed his rocket. You know, people are pissed.

Yeah. It's, oh, you know, he's, uh, he's got a rock. I mean, you got it if you got that kind of money. You got to have a rocket company. Schmong doesn't have a rocket company? He's got one, muscles, that one. His is his name, Blue Origin, and it's going to make its first manned,

manned, first spaceflight next month. This is their maiden voyage, and Jeff Bezos is going to be on the rocket. I'm telling you, wouldn't you, if you had that kind of money, let someone else in the company go up first? Wouldn't it? Like, hey, God.

You know what? And Bob in the warehouse. I'd like to drive in space. You see if it worked. You know, I'll go up next. But I know what's going to happen now. Amazon is going to completely take up her space, and they're going to put all the mom and pop astronauts out of business.

But look, we got problems here on Earth. You just see, poor Kamala Harris. Biden dumped the border problem in her lap, you know, so she was getting tested. with reporters this week because they're like, you're not fixing the border crisis. Well, a little perspective,

Mike Pence, his biggest accomplishment, was not being hung by his own people. So, as vice presidents go, but, I mean, Kamala did go down to Guatemala this week. Did you see that? And she said, it's pretty out there.

She said, you know, don't come. She said to these people, if you come to the border, you will not get in. And this did not make anyone happy. The left said it was against their values. The right said it didn't go far enough. And everyone here in California said,

we're going to get our nannies. Yes, California. We're back, baby. June 15. Yes. Maybe we will, maybe we can stop this silly distancing and masking bullshit.

Tuesday. California lifts its restrictions. Yes. And I see not everyone. applauding because that's true. A lot of people out here, a lot of people everywhere. I don't understand these people. They say they're going to continue to wear masks even after they sound the all-clear. It's like having sex with a condom and then saying, you know, I think I'll just leave it on for the rest of the night. I, you know, look, you're never going to have a 100%

COVID-free atmosphere. Virus has always stayed. Yes, there's always variance. I can't guarantee everything. We just have to live again. The new variant, they're so afraid, you know, they have to name them now with weird names. This one's called Delta. It's like the regular COVID, except there's always a layover in Atlanta. Anyway,

let's end tonight with the big, important news. A new royal baby is in the world as of this week. Megan Markle delivered it with there's a Duchess of Santa Barbara now. Her name is Lilibet, Diana Mountbatten Windsor, and she will now join her toddler brother Archie and Harry and Megan

in their mansion in Santa Barbara. Just with that household needs. More pissing and whining. All right, we've got a great show. We got Rob Reiter, a great old bit of copper. First up, he is an astrophysicist with the American Museum of Natural History, host of the Webby Award-winning podcast, StarTalk, and author of the new book, boy, is he busy.

Cosmic Queries, please welcome our friend. Neil DeGrasse Tyson is over here. Some hell of them. Oh, Mr. Personality. How are you doing? Good. Always good to see you. Just trying to keep the universe.

I know. And I have so many great questions. Somebody's got to do it. You are the sheriff of the universe. I always call you. But the book, great book, because it's sort of like a companion piece to your podcast, which is awesome.

And it's about the big questions. and I'm going to get to the biggest one first. Jewish space lasers. How do the Jews get them up there? Jews are all powerful, apparently. Yes. Okay. But the questions you're really asking are the ones that, you know,

I always say the ones that make your head hurt. Yeah. Because they're, you know, you can go, the Big Bang, we're going to get into that. But like what happened? What's before the Big Bang? That's a head hurter. Why is there anything?

Right? I mean... These are whole chapters in the book. I know. That's why I'm bringing it up. You know, why is there anything? And if there was nothing, is nothing not something? Oh, that's your opening salvo.

Okay, fine. Take it away. All right. While I give you an answer, just contemplate this. If Pinocchio said, my nose is about to grow right what would it do I get it just think about that while I

I know give you the answer today liar no no there's a whole the book opens with just how did it all begin but it goes through these other questions that we've all carried with us if you didn't carry it with you you stumbled

on it and then you took pause in your life to reflect on it how did it all begin what's it all made of are we alone in the universe that's big news of recent months and how will it all end? I'm going to get to that, but let's get with how it all began first, because I want to ask you about the Big Bang Theory,

not the show, the actual theory. If you type Big Bang Theory into Google, first thing is the TV show. And I don't know if that's good or bad. That's bad. That's bad. Okay. Okay. So, okay.

But you're the guy who can answer this question for me. How settled is it? Because on a scale of evolution. Okay, when Darwin's origin of species is published in 1859, it wasn't settled science in 1860, they debated it for decades, as science should. People said, well, let's try to poke holes in it. They didn't. Now it's settled science. I'd like to say the same thing about global warming being man-made. I think it is in the scientific community, not so much in the political community. But what about the Big Bang theory? Is that something we're totally not? Now, everybody who has your brain, all of eight people, they're down with this?

Yes, because it's settled. It satisfies all of the observational data that needs accounting for are neatly contained within the understanding that comes to us from the Big Bank. The universe is bigger today than it was yesterday. The universe is hotter yesterday than it was today. So you go back far enough, 14 billion years. Right. All of the known universe was in the same place at the same time at a stupendously high temperature. Then you can say, how do you know you weren't there?

Well, if matter and energy are at that temperature, it comes with consequences. So we say, what would happen if matter and energy were at that temperature for this long? You get about this much hydrogen in the universe, about that much helium. You get this distribution matter. So it was all condensed. Yes. This is amazing because we're talking about trillions Of stars which are big

Oh, way more than trillions, yeah All in one... Okay, why do it that way? Why start the universe that way? Like, boom, bang! Let's all mash it up and then boil it up. Why do it that way? That's why people invent religion to account for why.

In science, we will tell you how that happened. Right. But you want to know if there's purpose to it? That's a philosophical. bordering on religious question that some people feel the need to reach for and possibly find and many questions on the frontier of our knowledge frontier of our ignorance lands squarely in the lap of the armchair philosopher or the religious holy person on the mount so that's that's neither of us neither that that's correct but i'm content saying i can explain this i know i know i can

account for how that happens okay and that's that's a profound place to be because most of the history of human civilization, we had no accounting of things. I mean, it sounds crazy, but you're a lot smarter than the preacher, so I'm going to go with you. Okay. That's really where I'm out. Because I certainly

I, you know, it's frustrating because because I personally can't get to that place where I go, oh yeah, sure, all matter, one place, got it. I just have to my faith is in you. Okay, but I don't need your faith. Yeah, I don't need your faith. Yeah, I don't need your face.

I was trying to be nice I love your support yes I don't never mind so I don't need your faith we just need evidence I know of the claim

and allow me to also say that the universe is under no obligation to make sense to you right right look I don't even fucking think about this shit

unless you're on the show no I do actually I actually do but a couple of things so if you ask me What was it before the Big Bang? I'll say, we have some ideas, but I don't really know.

Right. And I'm okay with that. Right. Because as a scientist, you need to learn to love the questions themselves. Right. Lest you just start throwing answers in so you can go to bed at night and not lose sleep. Oh. Right.

I have so many bigger things to lose sleep. Trump is still out there. Are you kidding? You think I'm worrying about the universe? Wait, wait. Can I comment on that? Just to bring a cosmic perspective to that sentence? Yes.

You, you, Trump is the brunt of most of your jokes on most of these nights. No, he's not. You don't watch this show. Okay. That was, yeah, when he was president. When he was president. But I'm just saying, 76 million people voted for him. Yes.

So your enemy is not him. It's fellow citizens. No, that's wrong. We're on the wrong subject here, politics. But no. You can hate Trump. You can't hate the people who voted for him. That's half the country.

You cannot hate half the country. They put them into office. They put them into office for a lot of different reasons. I'm an educator. I'm an educator. And so I care about the electorate. Yeah, I do too. And that's not the way to win them back.

I think so. Tell them the deplorable and you hate them. No, I don't, that's not what I tell. I just educate them. Okay. Let's move on to the field we're here for. Okay, fine. Because you mentioned UFOs.

Well, there's a chapter in the book called, well, are we alone in the universe? Right. Well, that's UFOs. Yeah. Or as the government calls it, UAPs. That's their unidentified aerial phenomenon. That's their not so transparent translation of UFO.

Are we married? You're fighting everything I say. It's like everything I sing it. You just want to pick a fight. Go, go. Okay, but look, this has changed radically in the last year because in the past, if you had said UFOs, I would have said, well, maybe.

that's certainly not unscientific to think that they could be out there or here. But in the last year or so now, things have changed a lot. Our Navy pilots have come forward and said, there are things we see all the time and we cannot explain and they move in ways that we do not know how they move. And we can't move that way. And very serious people like John Brennan and Harry Reid have said the same thing. We are looking into this.

They said, we're not denying it anymore. So you, great person to answer this question. UFOs. I mean, what's the deal? How much time you got to? No, no, it's, it's, the universe brims with mysteries. I think the way you should come at this is from another direction and ask. If we are, in fact, being visited by intelligent aliens from another planet,

why would they only reveal themselves to Navy pilots? Why would none of them ever show up in these six billion color high-resolution photos and videos human beings are uploading to the Internet every day of their lives? Because human beings aren't up in space taking pictures where the Navy pilots are. And why is their best image of an alien, a fuzzy monochromatic tic tack on a display screen? I'm just saying that... Well, then what do you think it is? I don't know, and I'm happy saying I don't know. That's what the U stands for when identified.

You can't say, you can't say, if that doesn't know. It's a UFO and is doing weird things, therefore I know what it is? You just admitted you don't know what it is. Yes, but that's the beginning of the debate. I agree.

We all agree. I'm not saying there's definitely UFOs. I'm saying we don't know, but now people who never came forward before, serious people, military people. That doesn't matter. Are you human? You are equally susceptible to delusion, to

bias. To say it's a Navy, With silent with things? I don't care. They're human. So what else could it be? I don't know. Okay? Right.

But just because we don't know what else it could be. It doesn't mean it's visiting aliens from out of space. No, but if there's not even one of the theory, it loads... Yes, I have... Okay, sorry. It loads the gun. I got one. I got one.

You ready? Yeah. Okay. Every piece of hardware I've ever seen and software I've ever seen program has glitches. Every time, every one. So that's why you have software updates all the time. Great. Let's go with that.

So I'm saying that the imaging system that they're using could have glitches. Okay. And they'll say, we checked it, it doesn't have glitches. Okay. Are you so sure it doesn't have glitches that you'd rather believe it doesn't have glitches so that you can now say we're being visited by intelligent aliens from another planet with unknown physics? That's a huge leap. If there are aliens and they do come here, do you think they might have the answers to these questions that we don't know?

I would No really I mean wouldn't that be great if they came here and we said hey What What happened before the Big Bang And they're like What did you just ask?

Yeah a little junior knows that Right right right Right I lose sleep at night Wondering Whether we who we define As the first truly intelligent species on earth

Has sufficient intelligence To answer the questions we pose about the universe. And I further worry whether we're intelligent enough to even know what questions to ask. Well, I'm not happy note. Thank you, Kirkcoming. You're always a pleasure to talk to. Wish you could be here long. I'll see you for dinner later. All right. Let's meet our panel. She is a political scientist and co-founder of Strike, B.C., Rachel Bittaker is over here.

Not to see you again. And you all know, this guy in actress and filmmaker who's directed and started in pretty much all of your favorite movies over the last decades. Rob Reiner is over here. How are you? I'm good. They're good? Bill, when are we going to get closer?

When is the time going to come? When we're not so far away? I want to ask you for the soul. We're going to get to this issue because it's pissing me off. All right. For my, it was yesterday. Yes. But soon, I...

Yeah, good. Because I want to be closer to you. Not for any other reason that we can communicate better. Oh, I'd take that up. You know, that's Rob Reiner, dude. That's been weird. You know the Grass Tyson's fighting with me? You want to get closer to me?

Am I color? Am I wearing something? Okay. So, listen, last week we were, it seems like every week, but this, you know, this is a issue that's going on every week is that there are people in this country who want to stop this from being a democracy, and there's just no bigger issue. Okay, so we were talking about how do we get the, what, what, What do the Democrats do to stop this monkeying behind the scenes with what's going on with our records?

I read this week, there are now death threats from Trump people on election employees, you know, people who run elections. I mean, they just, there are nothing that they will not try. Yeah. And we're talking about replacing people who actually count the votes. It's one thing to stop people from voting. That's wrong. But replacing the people who certify the votes, Obama this week on TV said the Republican Party is will. willing to embrace a way of thinking about democracy that would be unrecognizable and even unacceptable

even five years ago. Now, I was told you were watching this last week and you said, I know what the Democrats can do, so I'm anxious to hear that. Yeah, in fact, I was like the ghost of Christmas pass and Scrooge yelling during, let's make a deal. Take the box. Take the box. Yes, I have a solution, right? But it's not an easy pill.

I mean, this is a bold idea. we have to stop sucking at electoral politics if we want to take power and hold off this democratic coup that's coming. You're talking about voter suppression, right? And so, you know, it's election rigging, right? They're closing the polling booths and the metro and they're expanding access in the rural areas. And then it's not an idea. They're putting provisions in these laws that are going to allow, if you overcome that in Georgia or Texas, for them to say, you know what, this doesn't.

seem right to us. So we're just not going to count the vote. We're still not getting to the part of what we do. So what we need to do, Bill, is we need to start fighting them fire with fire, okay, because they're going to come out in this electoral cycle, which begins already, because we've got off your election here in the recall, right? I mean, that Newsom is what do we do? Newsom isn't getting recalled. He's getting recalled as a strategic attack for them to consolidate power. So what we need to do is fortify that. that path to power consolidation, and that means we've got to be better at messaging and better at electioneering right away like yesterday. Because, you mean... That's a disappointing answer. No, no.

I have an answer. I mean, I'm talking about stopping the actual... Merrick Garland, our attorney general, who should be on this, finally today made a speech about this. He said he's going to double the number of staff in the Justice Department, Civil Rights Division, dedicated to protecting voting rights.

I don't know what that will actually do, but it's a start. He said, so far this year, at least 14 states that pass new laws that make it harder to vote, we are scrutinizing new laws like that, and where we see violations, we will not hesitate to act. Sounds vague to me, but at least it seems like

he's aware of it. I still don't know what you're doing. No, no, but the thing is, that that's all well and good, but all that means is you can prosecute somebody who will break those laws. We have to get laws in place that protect our

right to vote. There are a number of bills in front of Congress. There's H.O.1. There's S1. There's a John Lewis for the John Lewis Act. Those have to get past. If they don't get past, if we do not secure our right to vote. But they're not going to get past.

They don't even have 50 votes. Well, they don't have 50 because of the bill of us. And they need 60. No. If you get right now, Joe Manchin and, by the way, Kristen Sinema was one of the sponsors of S-1. Okay, well, she's against it now. Okay, wait a minute.

So now you need 60 right now, and Joe Manchin has said, I'm not going to break the filibuster. It's going to take Joe to Joe to Joe. Joe Biden is going to have to talk to Joe Manchin and say, we have a chance here to either preserve the Senate. You don't think he's already done that? Not the way it needs to be done. It needs to be done. Listen, Manchin isn't a tristing his arm?

No, no, not twisting an arm. Right? You're not going to convince this. Yes, you can. So listen, Bill. Yes, you can. Democrats have no answer. I'm sorry. They have no good answer.

It's a good answer. Really, that's all. That's your answer. Joe Biden has to be the 50th vote. Joe Biden has to be more persuasive in the rule? Because unless you, unless you put voting rights. Right? Okay.

Unless you put voting rights in front of the people and say, this does not require the filibuster and remove the filibuster just for that, there may be a way to say to Joe Manchin, either you choose democracy or the filibuster. And that's exactly what we do in these upcoming ads. He's from West Virginia. But here's the thing. He only cares about getting reelected in West Virginia. That's right.

And West Virginians right now are thrilled beyond belief with what Biden has done with COVID relief and they'll be thrilled with what happens in infrastructure. And that will pass. And we should have Maine and North Carolina right now in our pocket. But we drop those races. So you don't want to hear about a long-term strategy. But let me tell you. No, we don't have time for long-term strategy.

Halfway is to keep them. Well, let's talk about women, because we're not winning this argument. The Democrats did an autopsy. She seems like they're doing every party. It seems like they're always doing an autopsy. But this is about the 2020 vote to see why they didn't do better. They should have done better. Obviously, Biden won.

But they didn't win the Senate. They lost all the state houses. Okay. We did win the Senate. Only after a re-a-refer, or a second election, where we came in and finally got the Democrats shit together. So they ran on COVID relief checks direct to your pocket. And you're going to run on that.

50-50 to me is not winning. No, and they lost 12 house seats. And I have these guys tell me that they thought they did. Winning is when you have more. We picked up seats, though, in the Senate. We picked up seats. Okay. Not as many things should have had.

And we should have had. And we should have. We have 50 votes. All right. Here's the autopsy findings. Three things, they said. Voters of color need to be convinced. Polling, huge problem.

People don't tell pollsters what they really think anymore. They fuck with them. And Republican attempts to brand Democrats as radicals worked. Democrats who lost were centrists who nevertheless couldn't shake the radical label. So, you know, I talk a lot about wokeness. on this show. I'm not a fan. I think it's an albatross. James Carver was here the other week saying the same thing. You think it's an albatross? And if so, how big an albatross around their necks? I think that it's not something we should focus on. This is a fool's errand to go down that road.

We have to sell the fact that we have policies that have been passed and will be passed that's going to make people happy that they're going to have jobs and they're going to have money in their pockets. That's what we have to sell. People do pay attention because it's on your your phone every day. It's what I call the drip drip effect. You know why it really works though, Bill? It's because, all right, so the GOP is doing the Wokeness branding, and then we are like, yeah, let's talk about wokeness all the

fucking time, right? What we should do. I mean, think about it. The complaint is, oh, they're too piecy. The other side is turning into a fascist authoritarian party that is literally rigging our elections. They don't care. So you have to hit that brand back. And that doesn't happen in our message at all.

But, you know, the fascist thing, I couldn't agree with you more. There is fascism on foot. and even Trump doing something like colluding with Ukraine was terrible and was an impeachable offense. But people don't care. It's like Ukraine is very far away, but you're telling me my three-year-old coming home and saying he's a girl now

and I have to go along with that. That's right in my home. That's why you have to make them more afraid of other shit, Bill, and we don't do any of the fear stoking, right? So like, I'm going to tell people, they're coming for your money, they're coming for your kids, they're going to kill your daughter with teenage abortion. stuff, right? Because that's the shit

that the other side has been fed. And we're going to be looking at turnouts that are, I mean, in this California recall coming up, Newsom's, oh, he's polling so well. Double the number of Republican voters tell the poll, hey, I'm super excited to vote in the recall, right? So, like, we have a massive, tuned-out complacency issue on this side.

And we have to match it. We have to match their messaging. Okay, but I think I hear this a lot from Democrats. You know, we lost because we didn't get our message out. No, I think the problem is you did. They heard you. They just don't like it. They heard you loud and clear.

That's not what the data says about any of the stupid policy that the Democrats walk out with their brain focused ads. Those policies all poll in the 60s, okay? Policies, yes. Yes, yes. But if you're talking policy and the other party is hitting you on a brand, an identity, I mean, it doesn't matter if you're Jamie Harrison or, you know, one of these radical squad members, right? you're going to get called a socialist. I tell people I could make AOC and Sanders disappear tomorrow

and guess what? The GOP would run the same damn message. Why? Because, you know, they are trying to brand us the whole damn thing as a socialist party because they understand where the electorate is. The electorate is the opposite of where Democrats' feet is. It's not in the room and is not engaged. Maybe it would be good if the Democrats understood where the electorate is. Yes, I don't. I don't think they even...

No. I don't think they pay attention to policy as much as you think they do. No, no, that's all they fucking run on. Like, you can see an analysis. But I'm saying the people. It's not what their pay. No, no, the people don't care. Yes, you're right.

Okay, so you're saying, let's pin our hopes on the thing that the people don't care about. And I'm saying what the people care about is that Kimmy Schmidt got canceled. People don't care. That's right. The people care about. Kimmy Schmidt back on the air. I mean, Kim. Democrats talk to the electorate like it cares.

That's what I'm trying to tell you. They make an assumption. The whole system's built on a flawed assumption. The GOP understands who American public is in terms of civics, and they're not civically smart. They're not civically. They're lazy as fuck, right? It's not just about being busy.

It's lazy, too, right? And the GOP spoon-feds that shit, right? Into them every day, like, you know, into their... Let me give you an example. Let me give you an example of this, an issue. Crime. Big issue now. 49% of the people now think it's a big problem.

Okay. This was on some feed I read in Seattle. Somebody on their Seattle proposed literally decriminalizing crime. Proposed changes in the city. It's like you're living in an onion headline. Yeah. Proposed changes in the city's criminal call

that people would not be liable if the offense that they committed was linked to poverty. This is what the council person actually said in a situation where you took the sandwich because you were hungry and you were trying to meet your basic needs, we as the community know that we should not punish that. That conduct is excused. You see, it looks like the Democrats have no common sense. Now, this didn't pass. It's not going to pass, but people read this. They read it every day. Yeah, they read nothing

about their fucking crazy, right? So like their crazy is, okay. Okay. Okay. children get visually inspected to make sure they have a vagina if they want to play on the cross. But I can't do anything about their crazy. Yes, we can because we can talk about it instead of our crazy. If we keep talking about our crazy. Well, they don't hear it because people are in their own silos. No, not listening to you. You can break those silos.

You have to be sophisticated about it. Really? Because I never watch Foxman. Sure as hell doesn't have that strategy, right? Really? You think people listen. And here's the thing. The only place where the people debate is this show.

I'll tell you this. Like, psychologically. I don't see it anywhere else. I don't. Yeah, because everybody wants to see space, right? Okay. But like psychologically, people don't want to see shit that makes them feel guilty or painful or hurt them. They don't want to see shit they don't agree with.

So you have to shove it down their throat, right? You have to make them watch. Right. Make them look, Bill. All right. So, listen, June 15th, we are opening back up. That's Tuesday. If you're watching this on Friday night, we're very excited.

And there's a lot of pent up. up sexual energy. I was reading about this. Some people are calling this. It's going to be, they say, the whoring 20s. There was a headline in the New York Post. Oh, yeah. New York singles ready for slutty summer of casual sex as COVID vaccination tries.

You know, they're talking about doing it in the bathroom again. So we thought. Nature's healing. Yes. are probably a little rusty with their pickup lines. So we thought as a service, a public service, we would help you out because you need icebreakers. It's been a lot of changes. So would you like to hear some of the things we're suggesting that?

Okay, great. For example, do I know you? The upper half of your face is so familiar. Does Pfizer make a vaccine for that ass because it's killing me? These are going to work. These are going to work. I've been waiting to brush my teeth for a woman like you. I hope I don't sound desperate.

The last time I hooked up was to a ventilator. I've learned a lot from porn over the last year. And this is one for a woman to say. The expiration date on my edible panties is June 2020. You feel lucky punk? You know, it's that third jab that's the charm. You're going to use that market. You're going to use that much.

A dick is like the AstraZeneca shot. I'd never take one, but I have no problems giving it to other people. How'd you like to cross state lines with the Florida congressman? Oh, that always works. And, of course, hello, I'm Bill Gates. Okay. So, I want to ask you guys, you mentioned this. I think how we react to coming out of this is looking like a big liability to the Democrats.

I think somehow sometimes their whole attitude toward this was a liability. It depends on how you think about it. But there was a poll recently, which is Gallup. This is a serious polling service. Which is better advice right now, they ask, for people who do not have symptoms and are otherwise healthy. Stay home as much as possible to avoid contracting or spread the virus or, lead their normal lives as much as possible. 87% of Republicans said people should strive to lead normal lives.

71% of Democrats stay home. Keep cowering. You're talking about people who have had their vaccinations? Correct. 71% of people who have had their vaccination. Of Democrats say people who have had stay home as much as possible even if you've and I see people on the street walking outside. with a mask on, like, you fucking moron.

I just want to shout at them outside the car. You're a moron. You never could get it outside, really. And you're alone walking on the street with a mask. So you used to mask shame them. Now you're mask de-shaming me. I never mask shamed. I mean, in my opinion, if people want to do that, whatever, right?

But it is stupid, and it's a rejection of science, right? Because you can't say, on one end, We got to listen to the science and the data. And then when, you know, the science says, okay, you can't get COVID outside and you never could and you don't need a mask anymore. Be like, oh, I'm just not going to do it, right? So you're right. It could be, it could be a liability. But my organization, Strip Pack is going to hammer those GOP people who murdered.

I mean, they've murdered through incompetence and misinformation, hundreds of thousands of citizens, right? So it's about, okay, they're going to do their thing. Are we going to come back with an alternative. frame that is aggressive and it's offensive. It's not debating on their terms. They want to talk about mask wearing going too long. No, we're going to talk about your bullshit management of this COVID pandemic. Okay, but that's the past. Now we're over the, it's over. Can we just say it's over? You know, I know it was great fun to have a pandemic. I didn't wear pants for a year, Bill. I mean, the last time I was here was a year, you know,

literally. Okay, it's over. Like you said at the beginning of the show, we should be closer together. I watch the basketball playoffs now. Most of the people are in the stands, not wearing masks. And apparently there's no super spreader event that's coming out of that. And yet I see the players are playing with that mask. They go on the bench. The coach has a mask on. Why?

It's just stupid, inconsistent, ass covering. It just... Like in Texas, they never had masks, right? If you have your vaccination. If you've been vaccinated, that's it. That's the whole idea. If you haven't been vaccinated, then that's not right. I don't want you walking around if you haven't been vaccinated.

But you've been vaccinated. Yes, and I'm happy to do that. Okay, so don't be afraid of the person who isn't. I'm not afraid of that person. Okay. I'm worried that that person is going to spread something to somebody else. You know, somebody's always going to spread something. You can't just hide forever.

Life is a risk. Everything in life is a risk. If they want to reject the vaccine, that's totally fine because, you know, I mean, but I do think it's worth, you know, asking them when they, because you always get these braggards, I didn't get vaccines. You're like, oh, that's cool. Do you happen to know if you've killed anybody yet? Because you are a walking lab rat, right?

You know what also killed people? Yes, I agree. Yes, I agree. It's a very low. No, you know what else killed people? Nobody in the health hierarchy ever suggested, even suggested to the American people that the best way to stay away from a bad outcome from this virus

was to get yourself in better physical shape. They never suggested that. And that's mostly what killed people. There's really no short of. physical shape thing in the midst of a pandemic that's spreading. Are you kidding? Am I going to lose 50 pounds? Well, we have.

No. Okay. Well, anyone could. Not in three, four months, right? Well, it lasted over a year. Yes. Yeah, and I lost 40 pounds, I'm proud to say. Yeah, okay.

I mean, I'm not as well doing that, right? Well, 78% of the people who died were obese. Yes, exactly. That's why I hid in my house until I got vaccinated, and now I'm back. And I am out and I'm like willing to kiss you, Bill. I mean, that's how I'll pop a joint with you, you know. Like, I'm, I'm totally good. No pot in the green room, though, you know.

This night is getting better. Now we're kissing and smoking pot. Are you going to use any of those lines? You're going to use them on early? Yeah, I think so. I think they'll work. Okay. So speaking of that, why wasn't there a,

baby boom during this pandemic? I mean, you would think people locked up for a year. Usually when this happens, sometimes it's just a night you know, like with the blackout and there's a baby boom from a... Why wasn't there a baby boom? Because there was a, you're worried about a disease.

Now, think about this for a second. In 1962, we had the Cuban missile crisis. People were frightened to death that we're all going to go up and smoke. There was a huge baby boom after that. But if you didn't get killed by the by the missile, you started

fucking. That's what you started. This, you're worried that if you get close to somebody, you might get, you might, it might be the death fuck. That's not. What's our people who are quarantined

together. Let me tell you to tell you. As a very woman, I'm going to tell you the God honest truth here, because I always do that for the dudes when I hang out with them. We, us married women of America might have pretended to be a little bit

more afraid of kissing and touching our husband so that we could take a whole year off of dealing with their shit, right? So that's probably it. I think that's closer to it. I think it's like fuck you. I don't even want to talk to you. It gives you a good excuse. I think that's really

a little height. No sex pass for a year. I mean, it doesn't get better. Okay. I mean, serious issue this week. Because I think a lot of liberal principles are being, I'm sorry, they're being killed by liberals. I mean, we talked about Israel on this show a couple of weeks ago. That used to be a pretty staunch liberal thing to defend the only democracy in the Middle East.

Free speech. The ACLU. The ACLU is to free speech, but the NRA is to guns. Right? Yeah. It's the last line of defense and the first. And dominated by ideological purity, right? I mean, we're as ideologically rigid on the left to the First Amendment, I myself included, as I was thinking about this, as they are to the Second Amendment.

It's an absolutist, you know, commitment. Okay, but it's not anymore. That's the problem, is that the ACLU now is woke. David Goldberger, who's one of their icons, he's the guy who defended the Nazis marching in Skokie. He said, I get the sense it was important by, I get the sense it was important for ACLU. staff to identify with progressive causes more than to stand on liberal principles. Liberals are leaving the First Amendment behind. And I think this is a generational thing. I think the younger generations are fragile and they think being insulted or having your feelings hurt by words is more important than free speech. Well, you have to find that neat line between free speech and speech

that leads to violence. And if you can, you defend free speech. You defend free speech as long as it doesn't lead, doesn't like to. Well, you could say lead to. I mean, about, that's a very slippery slope. That has not been the definition before. Hate speech. I mean, hate speech, we all hate it, but that was the whole point of the First Amendment.

Yeah. No, no. And you should be allowed. You should be allowed to other hate speech. Right. But you can't go to a, you know, assemble and have free speech. also carry weapons with them? No, not weapons.

Well, no one is defending that. No, they're not, they're so far away. They marched. But they're so far away from that, Rob. I mean, this younger generation literally will say that speech is a form of violence, physical violence. And it's like, what?

No, it's the opposite of violence. It's not violence. It's speech. It can lead to violence, but it is not. They've changed the definition of words. Violence is when it hurts. Right. You just have to define what is fire in the crowded theater. Right. What is fire in the crowded theater, which is, you know, you're free to say that,

but that directly leads to something that could be very violent. Let me ask you something, though, though. I'm seriously. I'm interested, right? Second Amendment, would you, in a perfect world, maybe, like, change the wording around in that a little bit? Absolutely. So the First Amendment is the exact same thing, right? I am a huge stand-up fan of yours. I grew up cutting my teeth on Eddie Murphy's stand-up, which is why I'm so weird and profane, right? But, you know, you can find a way, if we could, if we could, which we can't, amend a Constitution. Just like with the Second Amendment, you can have a robust society with robust free speech and still disallowed. So you want to amend the First Amendment?

What I'm saying is... The First Amendment is fine the way it is. The Second Amendment needs to. On the left, we can't be as ideologically... slippery slow about free speech as they are on the right about AO-M-Fift. If you look at the Second Amendment carefully, it's actually pretty good the way it is. Because it says, it says, a well-regulated militia. Right. The people's right. The insurrectionists would tell you they were a well-regulated militia.

Okay. All right. I got to go to new rules. Thank you, you guys. That was a lot of fun. Biden visits the Queen this weekend. He has to be a friend and tell her her spending is out of control. Whether you like the royal family or you hate them,

you have to admit the Queen's lifestyle is rather lavish. And before you say, you don't think so, this is her using the bathroom. What's two guys in there? That is lavish. New Rule, don't have sex in front of your dog. It's cruel and confusing. The dog is thinking, where'd the ball go?

Oh, there it is. Where'd the ball go? Oh, there it is. Where's the ball go? Oh, there it is. Well, this couple in South Africa who just gave birth to 10 babies has to answer one question. Why are you smiling? New Rule, let's call winding country roads what they really are. Redneck population control.

Because every time I drive on one, I see a homemade cross on the side of the road with names like Skeeter, Dale, and Betty Luke. Winding Country Roads. Great for country music songs. Not great for country music fans. Now that the FDA has extended the expiration date on Johnson and Johnson vaccines by six weeks, they have to take a look at that cottage cheese in my refrigerator. It says May 31st, but it smells okay to me.

Though I'm not suggesting all expiration dates are bogus, if the condom in your wallet expired in 2013, throw that out. because that's how this happened. And finally, new rule from now on when Joe Biden veers off into one of his long-winded stories that seem to be off-topic, everyone must realize he usually does have a point. But those of you who are over 50,

how often you ever see, how often you ever see advertisements on television with black and white couples? Not a joke. I challenge you. Fine today. when you turn on the stations, sit on one station for two hours, and I don't know how many commercials we'll see, lay eight to five. Two to three out of five have mixed-race couples in it.

I'm going to tell you, I know it sounds kind of out of left field, but actually Uncle Joe is pointing liberals towards something they need to be more aware of. They have a bad case of progressive phobia. That's the phrase coined by Stephen Pinker to describe. a brain disorder that strikes liberals and makes them incapable of recognizing progress. It's like situational blindness, only what you can't see is that your dorm in 2021 is better than the South before the Civil War. If you think America is more racist now than ever, more sexist than before women could vote and more homophobic than when blowjobs were a felony, you have progressophobia and should adjust your mask because it's covering your eyes. You know, you

Before 2012, every time gay marriage was put before a state's voters, it lost. 35 times in a row. Now it's the law of the land in every state. Even half of Republicans are for it. The other half are for closeted gay sect. The chant from gay protesters used to be, we're here, we're queer, get used to it. Well, we did.

This is Pride Month, and it's not even a big deal anymore. 30 days of parades and festivals celebrating a cause that was one, once so divisive Ellen had to pretend to be straight. State houses. Fly Pride flags now. Disney celebrates it. By federal law, every single TV show must include a storyline about lesbians having a baby. If someone announces they're gay on TV, it's met with thunderous applause. My accountant says, Yaz Queen.

You literally can't find a major American corporation that doesn't do something for Pride Month. NASCAR does it. Raytheon, maker of high-tech lethal weaponry that kills people from the sky, does it. And I hear next year they're going to paint You-Go girl on the side of their missile. And it's not just LGBT issues. Not that long ago, I knew people who went to prison for growing pot. And today you can legally smoke it for fun in 43% of the country, and I will. Even something like bullying, it still happens.

but being outwardly cruel to people who are different is no longer acceptable. That's progress. And acknowledging progress isn't saying we're done, or we don't need more, and being gloomier doesn't make you a better person. In 1958, only 4% of Americans approved of interracial marriage. Now, Gallup doesn't even bother asking.

The last time they did in 2013, 87% approved. An overwhelming majority of Americans now say they want to live in a multiracial neighborhood. That is a sea change from when I was a kid. In a country that's 14% black, 18% of the incoming class of Harvard is black, and since 2017, white students are not even a majority in our public colleges. Employees of color make up 47% of Microsoft, 50% of Target, 55% of the gap, as companies become desperate to look like their TV commercials. The Friends reunion we just had look weird.

Because if you even suggested a show today about six people, all of whom were straight and white, the network would laugh you out of the room and then cancel you on Twitter. And yet there is a recurrent theme on the far left that things have never been worse. Kevin Hart expressed a view many hold when he told the New York Times,

you're witnessing white power and white privilege at an all-time high. This is one of the big problems with wokeness that what you say doesn't have to make sense or jibe at the facts or ever be challenged, lest the challenge itself be conflated with racism. But saying white power and privilege is at an all-time high is just ridiculous. Higher than a century ago, the year of the Tulsa Race Massacre, Higher than the years when the KKK rode unchecked and Jim Crow went unchallenged.

Higher than the 1960s when the Supremes and Willie Mays still couldn't stay in the same hotel as the white people they were working with? Higher than during slavery? And I mean actual slavery. Not Prince doesn't like his record contract slavery. Racism is still unfortunately still with us. We have the footage in policing, housing, job discrimination, segregated schools, wealth inequality, the legacy of injustice sadly lives on and demands remedial action. I understand, as best I can, how racism singes a person's soul so much that they might see it

everywhere. But seeing clearly is necessary for actually fixing problems, and clearly, racism is simply no longer everywhere. It's not in my home, and it probably isn't in yours, if I read my audience right, and I think I do. For most of the country, the most unhip thing you could ever be today is a racist. Even Derek Chauvin was not backed up by his fellow officers, and that never used to happen. The low point of race relations wasn't Kim Kardashian wearing cornrows,

even though it happened on Snapchat and George Wallace standing in a doorway didn't. Because here's the thing, kids, there actually was a world before you got here. We date human events, A-D-D-B, but. and BC, but we need a third marker for millennials and Gen Z. B-Y, before you. It's telling that in a recent Harvard youth poll of Americans between 18 and 29, 72% of blacks said they were hopeful about the future of America, as compared to only 46% of whites.

I'm not surprised. There are a hell of a lot of Americans trying really hard these days to embrace a new spirit of inclusion and self-reflection, and this progressive allergy to acknowledging societal advances is self-defeating because progress and hope that we can achieve it is the product we're selling. And having a warp view of reality leads to policies that are warped. Black-only dorms and graduation ceremonies? A growing belief in whiteness as a malady and white people as irredeemable?

Giving up on a colorblind society? Only if you believe we've been. made no progress. Does any of that make sense? I can name some things that actually are worse than they've ever been before, like the environment and homelessness in L.A. and the prospects for maintaining an actual democracy in America. But where progress has been made, it's not a sin, and it's certainly not inaccurate to say, we've come a long way, baby, not mission accomplished, just a long way. All right. Thank you. That's our show. I'll be at the time. I own a music factory in Irving, Texas, July 11th, at the Mirage in Vegas, July 16 and 17,

and the Buddy Holly Center in Lubbock on July 31st. I want to thank Rachel Bidicoffer, Rob Reiter, and Neil DeGrasse Tyson. We'll be back next week. Thank you, folks. Catch all new episodes of Real Time with Bill Maher every Friday night at 10, or watch them anytime on HBO on demand. For more information, log on to HBO.com.