Real Time with Bill Maher - Ep. #595: Nicole Perlroth, Laura Coates, Andrew Yang
Episode Date: April 2, 2022Bill’s guests are Nicole Perlroth, Laura Coates, and Andrew Yang. (Originally aired 4/01/22) See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoi...ces.com/adchoices
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Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO Late Night series Real Time with Bill Maugh.
Thank you very much. I appreciate it. Thank you. Thank you, people.
Thank you so much for coming. My maskless friends. Thank you for coming and putting on a brave face. I know we're all processing what happened at the Oscars.
and I just want to say to Will Smith, look, I got your back, bro.
Stay strong.
April fools, you're a dick.
Oh, wow.
You're on my side, for one.
Yes, it's April.
Look, I'm not here to humiliate Will Smith.
He gets enough of that at home.
But I will say this.
Every single person.
In America, this entire week, was talking about nothing but the sucker punch heard around the world.
So the whole keep my wife's name out of your mouth thing didn't really work at.
Can we at least say that?
Right.
And the Oscars?
Wow.
There was more action in that 10 seconds than the whole three hours of power of the dog.
Who would have guessed at the movie that comes out of the Oscars with all the buzz was G.I.G.
Jane. And, you know, also, I must say, comparing a woman to Demi Moore looking her hottest,
is not exactly the worst insult I've ever heard in the world. I mean, alopecia. It's not leukemia.
Okay? Allopoecia is when your hair falls out. Appalachia, when your teeth fall out.
There are worse things. And also, I'm supposed to feel bad for Will Smith to thank you.
pending the honor of the woman who was fucking August Alcena.
I mean, I...
How...
Also,
the other thing that is very a little fishy about this is that when Chris Rock told the joke,
you cut to Will Smith, and he's laughing at the joke.
Right?
And then he sees that his wife is giving him the stink guy.
I blame toxic femininity.
I do.
So, but now, of course, is a controversy.
on top of the controversy because the Academy
says that they asked Will after
that to leave and
he refused and then got into
a shoving match with Liza Minnelli.
So, I don't know
who's lying.
But the Academy's getting very stern now.
The Academy says from now on they may ban
Will Smith from ever coming back to the Oscars.
My question, and what's
the punishment?
So, all right.
Other things are going on in the world, but we don't care about that.
Anyway, no, but there are two interesting moves in the media this week.
Wow, did you see that?
Jen Saki is leaving.
She is the President Biden's press book.
She's going to join MSNBC, part of their commitment to diversity.
Well, now they have a redhead.
So, and Fox News.
Guess who's joining Fox News?
Caitlin Jenner.
Now they'll have two Tuckers.
Okay, we've got a great show.
We have Andrew Yang and one of the coats.
But first up, she is the former lead cybersecurity reporter for the New York Times and Ultra.
This is how they tell me the world ends.
The cyber weapons arms race, Nicole Peril Roth.
Bumper, Shaker, what are you?
Shaker, good for you.
Thank you.
Wow, that's a very scary title you have there.
But, you know, I've been concerned, as we all have about.
cyber war. And I think people
talk about it like, well, this is the coming
war. But it really is the present war.
Isn't it? It's kind of underway.
I mean, hasn't Russia already gotten into our
elections? They've gotten into oil facilities,
nuclear facilities.
And we hit their
power grid, didn't we, in 2015?
So isn't the war happening?
Yes. I mean, we've basically been in a digital
Cold War since the Cold War ended.
And look at
what I've covered. I mean, I've covered hacks
of the Ukraine power grid, hacks of our nuclear plants.
They didn't get as far as the controls, but they're heading for them.
And the question is, what is going to be the trigger for them to pull the access they already
have?
And that's why anyone who's paying attention to cybersecurity right now is watching what's
happening in Ukraine very closely.
Because the more we tighten the screws on Putin with sanctions and the ban on oil and vodka,
the more likely it is that this guy is going to do something, right?
He's not the type to, like, sit back and chill about it.
Well, why wouldn't you have already done it by now?
So this is interesting.
Some cybersecurity experts thought that he was going to go full gangster
in the days leading up to the invasion.
And he didn't turn the power off,
but there were actually some pretty serious cyber attacks.
Power off in Ukraine?
In Ukraine.
Not here.
Not here.
Can he do it here?
He can.
What?
I mean, we had a...
turn the power off in America?
Well, the Department of Homeland Security
put out a screenshot a couple years ago
that showed Russian hackers with their hands
on the controls of a U.S. power plant.
They didn't pull the trigger.
They didn't shut anything down,
but we know they have the access.
We've seen them have the capability.
They got into all 50 states' elections.
They didn't seem to screw with them,
but they got in.
What is that about?
They just want us to know they can do it?
We don't know why they didn't go
further. I mean, we don't know if it was John Brennan calling up his counterpart and saying,
don't do this, we'll respond. We don't know if this was sort of testing grounds for some future
interference. We really don't know what the deal was with the election interference. But the
worst case scenario, to me, at least for election interference, is an attack on the registration
rules where they mark people who are registered as unregistered or dead, and they show up to vote,
and they say we have no evidence that you're registered,
and that person walks off,
and there's no trace of any interference at all.
It's basically voter disenfranchisement in digital form.
Right. No fingerprints on it.
And what about banks?
Aren't you worried about that,
that they could get into our bank accounts?
I mean, and where does, like, the future go with,
I've heard people say we will have a totally digital currency
sooner than you think.
Doesn't that make that situation worth?
So banks, I worry less about just because they've got in religion on cybersecurity for a very long time.
I mean, if someone wiped out your bank account, everyone would freak out and move their money.
So they've built up many intelligence agencies to track these threats.
I worry more about pipelines.
I worry about utilities.
I worry about water treatment facilities that don't even have an IT guy on staff.
that is really where we are the most vulnerable.
But they do attack individuals.
I mean, I read in your book about zero days.
Tell everybody what zero days means.
So a zero day is, it's a hole in the software.
It's basically a vulnerability in the software.
Let's say it's your iPhone.
There's a vulnerability in your iOS software.
If I'm a hacker and I find that vulnerability
and Apple doesn't know about it, that's called a zero day,
if I can write a program to exploit that zero-day
to read your text messages or turn on your camera
without you knowing about it or track your location,
that's a zero-day exploit.
And you can see why that zero-day exploit I just described
would have immense value for an intelligence agency, right?
So I can know putting an invisible ankle bracelet on you.
So there's a whole market for governments, for zero-day exploits.
The going rate in the U.S., I think,
last time I checked, was $2.5 million
for that zero-day exploit I just described.
The Saudis will pay you $3.5 to $4 million if you want to sell it to the Saudis.
But there's this whole market around our software vulnerabilities.
And people don't realize that for years, governments have been purchasing these holes,
not so they can get them patch, tell Apple about them, leave us more protected,
but so that they can exploit them for counterintelligence or maybe to plant themselves in a certain system for a rainy day.
And the reason I chose to call this out
was because I was sitting in my little perch
at the New York Times, and I was seeing
that all of our adversaries get
that we have a really soft underbelly with cyber.
And they can do a lot of damage here.
And they don't have to go match us
in terms of our military budgets and spending.
They can do a lot of damage to the United States.
And yet, even the United States was leaving
these zero days open for its own operations.
And so the reason I wanted to call it
was to say, hey, cybersecurity is now national security.
And we need to start patching these systems
and getting Americans to wake up
to how vulnerable these critical systems are.
Isn't one of the reason why we're not more alarmed
is because it is not always reported?
The people who get hacked don't want to report it.
No?
No?
No?
No.
Like China was hacking our intellectual property left and right.
Right.
And no one wants to admit
that their intellectual property is now sitting
at some Chinese state-owned enterprise, you know, institute in Beijing.
So everyone was covering this up for a really long time.
And actually, what changed was when the New York Times was hacked by China.
And we wrote about it.
And we said, listen, like, this is happening to every company in America.
You know, every company in America, journalists are now basically ripe targets
for advanced Chinese, Russian nation-state hackers.
but we don't act like it.
Okay, so what should we do?
What is the government,
what's the obvious thing the government
should be doing that it's not doing?
I mean, I would guess when I read the stats,
hire more people.
I know the Department of Homeland Security
has like 140,000 people
and only about 2,500 are working on this.
But I don't know, maybe more people
would just be standing around
like I see places.
Yeah.
You know, I mean, they spend $10 billion on this,
is that it sounds like, given that we just signed a pending on budget for $813 billion,
sounds like a little bit.
But I don't know.
You don't have to buy equipment for this.
So I don't know if this is too much, not enough, just the right amount.
I don't know what we're doing and what we should be doing.
That's what you're here to tell me.
Right.
So what people don't understand is that when it comes to cybersecurity,
the government is not in charge of most of our critical systems.
85% of America's critical infrastructure, water, dams, pipelines are all in private sector hands.
And after Snowden, we had this whole debate, remember Snowden, that guy in Moscow,
we had this whole debate about whether we want the NSA in domestic systems.
And we all pretty much decided we didn't.
So the government's not sitting in these systems in real time, defending them from advanced nation-state hackers.
It's basically the private companies themselves that are forced to defend themselves from these threats.
And any time there's been any effort to legislate that those companies meet some bare minimum standard of cybersecurity,
lobbyists have come in and said, no, too difficult, too expensive, too much regulation,
we're not going to put up with it.
So the situation we're left with.
So this is the Republican stopping it?
You know, sadly, it was John McCain was actually the one who filibustered that last.
attempt at a bill. Because they think
it's too much government interference?
It was just dirty word regulation.
Right. That's
what happens when it takes
three years to get solar hooked up
in your house. Well...
Regulation
becomes a dirty word. All right.
But thank you for doing what you're doing, exposing
it, because boy, this is a problem.
All right, thank you. Let's meet our panel.
He is the founder of the new
political third party forward, an author of
Forward Notes on the Future of Our
democracy. Andrew Yang is back
with us. Thank you. Thank you.
And she's a senior legal analyst
for CNN, an author of the bestselling
book, Just Pursuit of Black Prosecutor's
Fight for Fairness, Laura Coates.
How you doing?
I'm good. How you doing?
Hi, guys.
Okay, so
you know what we're going to talk about?
Because there are...
It happens once in a while that there's like
a national moment, right?
Where the whole country is
paying attention to something. It doesn't happen that
often, very often a tragedy like
Kennedy assassination or 9-11,
but it could be the O.J.
verdict or, well, we just had
another one. And
it exposed, I thought,
a lot of aspects of this society
we have, which are not terribly
positive. Toxic masculinity.
Victim culture
I could go into, and I might.
Liberal
hypocrisy, I think, was
the big loser. I mean, what did
you think when Will Smith got a standing
ovation from that crowd.
I couldn't believe it.
Could you? I mean, the idea that, I mean,
first of all, I think Jim Carrey made the comments.
Spinalist came to mind. It was one of those
ideas of how inertia was like, well, this is what
we always do. We're supposed to stand
when somebody wins an award. So you
do it this moment in time, and the amnesia
was instantaneous. And I just thought,
first of all, why is he even
there to be able to get the award
at the end of the evening?
Number one.
Because I remember, I remember,
I remember as a prosecutor
prosecuting quite a few assault
in batteries and they didn't stand by to go
no, no, I've got the rest of my kid's soccer game.
I got to stay for this. It didn't happen.
So the fact that he was there
to be like, well, here's my award, was shocking
in and of itself, let alone a standing ovation.
Doesn't happen.
I think a lot of it's just because it was Will Smith.
If it had been anyone else, they're probably
ushered out of there very quickly.
I do feel like it's part of the job
of a world famous celebrity attending
an award show to absorb mild illness.
insults directed at you and yours.
It's, you know, I ran for office,
and people said things around me I didn't like,
and I didn't get up and smack anyone.
Did you actually want to?
Oh, you'll never know. No one will know. That's a point.
Just like we shouldn't know if Will wanted to.
No. I mean, it does look like those people,
those are the very people who are always talking about
microaggressions in the workplace and how you should be,
you know, not have to face an uncomfortable moment,
or, you know, people shouldn't touch you,
unwontedly, suddenly
they were okay with this. It just seemed
to show, to me, broken morals.
Like, you really have no principles.
When it's a star that you like
in the service of some vague
principle of intersexuality,
or sectionality, like
your wife shouldn't be insulted
even in a mild way,
then it's like, well,
too bad. That's what I like.
It made me feel good, so
I forget my principles.
Now, a part of me is
concerned that that was the first moment. You realized
there was no principles in Hollywood, though.
No, that's not the first moment.
I know it's not. I know
it's not. But I'm sorry to me, think, the thresholds high.
I'm just saying it was a bad night for liberal hypocrisy.
True. They look bad. Because
here's the thing. The Oscars, whether they
like it or not, it's not fair.
But they kind of are
a representation to a lot of America of the
Democratic Party. Andrew, you
talked about, I read your quote on the air
a couple of times about when you would
when you were running for president and you would start to talk to people,
sometimes in a place where they didn't know much about you,
and they seemed to like what you were saying,
and then you would say you were a Democrat,
and they'd be kind of like this.
And it's like the toxic D.
Why is the D so toxic?
Because they look at the Oscars,
and it represents sort of like pandering.
It represents sort of like we're not connected to everyday people.
You know, look at the, every year the winners.
I mean, this year it was a disability.
gay and race,
which there should be movies made about these topics.
They're important topics,
but it looks like the Oscars only do those topics.
Bill, I wouldn't get a sigh from people
when I said I was a Democrat.
I would get like a recoil.
Like I'd just, you know, turn another color.
And a lot of it is around the places
I was campaigning in Iowa or Ohio,
they associate the Democratic Party
with this kind of insincere moralizing
that condescends to them.
And I think when you describe what happened to the Oscars as exposing how some rules seem to apply more to some figures than others, I think that's part of the frustration, you know, from the folks that were reacting to me when I was on the trail.
And what about what do we make of what's going on with violence and the word violence?
Because it's a common word among the woke. They seem to have broadened the definition.
You know, silence is violence and words can be violence.
but then actual violence,
not a big thing.
You know, it's like,
violence is not an answer
except when I fucking feel like it,
and then it's a great answer.
I mean, you know,
your assessment is probably violent to them right now,
just the idea of trying to figure out
how to synthesize it all, and it's true.
But, you know, it's the idea you're talking about
convenient compartmentalization.
Right.
The idea of saying, you know what,
I have my preferences,
I have my standards, but I really just want to do what I want to do in the end.
And I'm going to figure out a way to work backwards from the answer that I wanted,
and I'm going to make everything else make sense.
And you see this in politics, you see this with issues around lobbying,
especially we're talking about just now,
it's the idea of thinking, well, why don't we start from the place,
like we do, I don't know, in this country, the nation of laws,
and then work forward where we have this standard,
and then we have a, at times, a problematic, cookie-cutter approach.
But the outcome is supposed to be, you are,
treated in a way that the laws dictate. Now, that has always happened, you know, but the idea
that this happened on Sunday that they worked backwards. They want him in the audience to receive
this particular award. So let's work backwards to see how this can make sense. Now, imagine a so-called
seat filler. The average person, every day, imagine Laura Coates in the seat. I would have been
walked off like, I'm sorry, Ms. Coates, it's time for you to go home. Thank you. Your home's to Bel-Are.
Okay? I don't live in Bel-Leyer, but
The idea of working backwards is what frustrates people in politics.
The idea of, well, here's the result we'd like.
So we're going to make everything contort ourselves in pretzels to make it make sense.
It's probably like people were recoiling from you,
why people think about the idea of,
I need the word violent now to make sense for what I want it to.
Somebody should grab that word seat filler and use it politically.
Because we're just seat fillers in this country.
The elitists do this and the seat filler do this.
It's kind of true, you know, the country of feet fillers and stars.
Those are the live studio on it.
These are not seat fillers.
No, these are seat stars.
So can I ask about alopecia, because I must admit,
when I first I saw the thing on TV,
then I go to the vanity fair party, great party,
and then I didn't hear about it until then
but you don't know she had alopecia
and I had heard this word but it was vague in my mind what it was
so I went like oh well that's a very different thing
and then I found out what it is and I'm like oh no it's not that different
I mean if you are so lucky in life as to have that be
your medical problem just say thanks God
it's it's not
it's not life-threatening you know it's
Part of, for most people, 80% of men, 50% of it.
It's part of aging.
Aging is, trust me, I know, it's the degradation of the flesh.
It happens to all of us.
And, you know, just put on a fucking wig like everybody else at the Oscars, if it bothers you so much.
I mean, we all, as we age, you know, we look worse.
And you do things to deal with it as best you can.
You know, I got my hair did this week.
That's my thing.
I know, my hair, my hair would be white.
I know, we're getting pretty personal here, Bill.
I know, but my hair would be white, and it would look worse on TV,
and people would think I'm older than I already am,
which is already too fucking old for television.
So, like, you know, I'll do what I have to do.
Everybody else does.
Timothy Shalameh wore a tuxedo with no shirt,
because he can get away with it.
But I wouldn't want to see Jonah Hill try it.
We all got to deal with who we are, and am I wrong about this?
I don't know.
I woke up like this, so I don't really mean.
And cornstarts help.
But no, I agree with you.
I mean, I agree with the sense of we all have to do the things we have to do to be where we are.
However, I can imagine at one point in just thinking about being in Hollywood as she is,
the idea of how much we look at women as they age, as opposed to Bill Maher.
aging or Andrew Yang aging, there is a different standard for women, and black women in Hollywood
in particular, about the idea of how we are expected, I'm saying we like I'm in Hollywood, we in D.C.,
but you have to conform to certain aspects of it. And I think there's probably a part of her that
has been very, very empowered by being vocal about her alopecia and saying, look, I'm owning it,
I'm shaving my head, I feel like I am going to take this by the horns. And there's probably
those quiet moments with her husband when he is seeing and hearing a more personal aspect of it.
either way, the idea
that we could all assume that everyone
was aware of her condition at the time
the statement was made, I think,
is a bit of an arrogance. It's a condition.
It's a condition like life is a
condition. You know,
yes, shit happens
as you go down the path of life.
And physically, it's not all going
to be roses.
It just isn't. And,
again, like, on the scale of what I
need to worry about or feel sorry about,
I can't get there.
Well, this episode does remind me of our politics, Bill,
where we have these personalized narratives and this morality play.
Well, we all know we have many more serious problems to deal with
than whatever Will Smith did to Chris Rock on Sunday.
Oh, what a political way to look at it, you know.
Stop it.
What I'm suggesting, though,
all right.
But what I'm suggesting, though, is that we treat politics the same way.
We treat politics as entertainment in sport,
and it's like, oh, this person did this to this person,
and isn't this person then a terrible person?
where the real problems around us are just getting worse and worse
and you can feel the anger and frustration rising.
Regardless of your political part.
I know one of your big issues these days
is what's going on with men and boys in this country.
Yes.
It's so interesting.
Just in this space last week,
I was doing a thing at the end of the show
about Zelensky and how women in this country
is super hot for him.
And I was saying, for all the talk about toxic masculinity,
when a guy acts in a traditional,
manly, badass way,
seem to like it, and then right on cue,
Will Smith slaps a guy,
and 56% of women
were on Team Will. This is the day
maybe that's changed, it's the day after the Oscars.
So they liked it.
They liked it.
And I would say there was a display of
manliness that night, but it was from Chris Rock.
It's interesting, I told this story on TMG,
but I'll tell it again on Tuesday, here on Friday.
At the party, I was talking to someone,
a very, very well respected.
I think he's a great person,
celebrity, a member of the
African American community, I wouldn't say who it was,
but somebody in the crowd, it may have been me,
said, what would have happened if Chris had hit him back?
And without having to think,
he said, he couldn't.
He had the whole race on his shoulders.
I thought that was kind of a brilliant assessment
and kind of real,
and showed Chris Rock
because, you know, there's a guy who can think on his feet.
It's also a reason why I think what Will Smith did
is all the more Hollywood and problematic,
knowing Chris Rock couldn't do anything back.
I mean, let's just play that moment back in our minds.
Exactly.
Right. You're going to walk up on stage.
Right.
You're going to not stand there and tell me what the problem is.
You're going to really, you know, soccer punch me with an open hand.
Then you're going to scuttle back to your seat.
Look at your perch and then shout at me.
I mean, if it was in the real world, I can't imagine this.
this is how it actually would go down, but I thought his restraint, I got to tell you,
I wasn't part of that 56% who saw manliness and what Will Smith did.
I see sexiness in restraint and foresight and a husband realizing what are the consequences
of me taking this action on our entire family.
That is sexy.
And I'm very hot for that.
But the idea of trying to come to my defense, and as you point out, he only did so.
I mean, he laughed at first until he got that.
wife look from that had the whole head go this way and he's, oh, this is my cue?
Okay.
I'll go up.
And that's not masculine either.
Well, right.
And that really encapsulates cancel culture because that's what happens.
People laugh and then they go, oh, wait, I'm supposed to be offended.
And then they overreact, right?
But are men in crisis?
I mean, I know this is a big issue for you.
When you look at the statistics, things like math, reading, admissions to college, women are all leaping forward ahead of men.
In 2019, last year, I guess we have it.
14% more women received bachelor degrees.
There's this idea in America that if you don't go to college, you're doomed,
and more and more men aren't and more and more women are.
Yeah, that trend's only gotten worse, a bill.
Men were only 40% of college students in this last year.
And if you think about that, you could just say, hey, progress.
But then you have to ask yourself, well, what will millions of men without college degrees do for a living?
And a generation or two ago, you would have said, well, maybe they'll get a job in manufacturing.
Though we've now blasted away millions of manufacturing jobs, and those men haven't found steady footing since.
You're seeing them actually fall into internet rabbit holes and become alt-right extremists.
And there's actually a study that shows a direct correlation between losing your job and becoming unemployed and then adopting extreme right-wing beliefs.
So this is having profound impacts on our politics on individuals.
and our society in a way that transcends this kind of individual situation.
And the case I want to make is that...
You're saying we're creating Trump voters.
We 100% are.
We 100% are.
So you know I'm a data guy, and unemployed men volunteer less than employed men,
even though they have more time on their hands.
So what are they doing?
They are playing video games, gambling, drinking more,
abusing more drugs.
And so you're seeing these social ills
that include domestic violence, child abuse,
self-destruction,
and that is manifesting in our politics, 100%.
All right.
So this is the,
what we call,
what we call
award season out here.
We just had the Oscars.
We're going to have the Grammys on Sunday.
Okay.
And I noticed from the Oscars,
and a lot of the award shows recently,
there's sort of a two-tier system,
the ones who make the cut on TV,
and then the awards they give to people who you weren't good enough to get on TV.
And then they show a little clip of you, like Thursday ago,
when you won your award in front of three people.
It's very sad.
I think they should.
So the Grammys do it too.
But they have too many categories.
These are real Grammy categories this year.
Best Recording package.
They give an award to.
Best Improvised Jazz Solo.
Aren't they all?
I mean, best liner notes, best immersive audio album.
So we did this a couple of years ago.
There are other categories, even more obscure.
Would you like to hear some of these other categories?
For example, best new song that makes boomers grumble, is that even music?
Is a category?
Best independent reggae CD handed to you against your will.
Best spoken word album, not entirely about Obama, is actually a category.
Best skunk singing can't touch this in an animated feature.
Most self-righteous folk song that almost makes you want to vote for drum is an actual category.
Most irrelevant singer-songwriter to pull music from Spotify to protest Joe Rogan as a category.
Best duet with an old guy you assumed was dead.
Producer of the year, non-rapist.
Best country song that Strong.
insinuates if you have a problem
with America, you can relocate
elsewhere. Best jazz
album for driving stragglers out of
parties. And of course,
best boxed or a special
limited edition package of the same old
Beatles songs.
Okay, so
I have two lawyers here.
Let's talk a little about the lawyer. Monday, the
Judiciary Committee is going to
vote, I think, on Judge Jackson,
right? And I think that will, of course,
go through the committee. But then
it goes to the full Senate, where
Josh Hawley and Ted Cruz will prove
there are such things as racist babies.
But I just want to talk a broader
thing about how lawyers in this
country now are coming under attack
because they attacked, I remember
in the campaign, Kamala Harris
and Amy Klobuchar when they were running
against you in that race. Well, kind of
attacked for doing their job
as prosecutors.
You know, yes, it's a tough job. You got to
put people away.
And then Judge Jackson has attacked for defending people at Gitmo because she was a public defender.
It wasn't even her choice.
The government has signed this.
We have this principal in this country.
Everybody gets a lawyer.
John Adams, the second president of the country, defended the British soldiers at the Boston Massacre.
We gave the Nazis a hearing at Nuremberg.
We used to understand this.
I feel like now we're forgetting it.
Your thoughts.
Especially being a former federal prosecutor of black woman.
I mean,
people weren't throwing parties for me
when I walked into the courtroom. I can tell you that.
But I think there's this fundamental misconception.
When I would stand up there and say
Laura Coates on behalf of the people in the United States,
I knew that included the defendant.
I knew that before trial I had to honor
and during trial, honor and protect the rights of the defendant.
Guess what? So did the judge?
The Fourth Amendment, Fifth Amendment,
the idea of the Sixth Amendment,
all these principles are things that we know
we're supposed to protect.
So if you're telling me the defense counsel
whose job during trial and before
is to also honor and protect and defend those rights.
Let me tell you, not just defense counsel
who are maybe soft on crime,
then it's prosecutors, it's judges,
it's the entire current Supreme Court
who said, we're not going to take up the case
involving Bill Cosby,
who had a Supreme Court in Pennsylvania say
you had to honor his rights.
So I guess we're all soft on crime
when we're pro-constitution.
That's interesting.
I think you can distinguish
between a public defender who ideally should be doing everything in their power to defend someone
from a prosecutor who does have some discretion. I mean, you can take issue with some of the choices
they make. It's a very, very powerful position. But to your broader point, I couldn't agree more
that at this point, America is so polarized that you're just on a team. And if someone says,
hey, this rule goes against your team, then people would be like, oh, no, no, I don't need that.
I mean, you have 42% of both Democrats and Republicans who regard the other side as evil or corrupt.
And so if you come and say, hey, defeating the bad guys
means that you have to ignore this rule,
a lot of people are very open to that.
And not to make everything about Hollywood and the Oscars,
but a Harvard professor named Ronald Sullivan,
brilliant guy, joined Harvey Weinstein's defense team,
and Harvard came after him.
And again, yes, Harvey Weinstein, bad guy.
Everybody gets a lawyer.
It's in the Constitution.
everyone gets a lawyer, being that lawyer,
shouldn't mean you get rocks thrown at you
and means that you're stepping up to do something
that we all would deserve if we were in that position.
Well, Harvey Weinstein also kept his Oscar,
so keep that in mind when they decide about Will Smith.
Just saying.
Right.
That Oscar's for life.
You cannot take it.
Everything else is on the table,
but you can't think of what you're talking about he's Oscar.
Keep that fucking Oscar.
That's some funny.
But, okay, so let me go back,
I mentioned the beginning of our republic.
We used to have, and then John Adams Day,
different newspapers for different parties.
They actually had their own newspaper,
like Thomas Jefferson had his newspaper.
And I feel like...
We're there now, aren't we?
Aren't we?
And here's what it brought it home to me this week.
The New York Post, I remember reading about this a couple of years ago.
New York Post came across.
Now, how they came across,
we need to get into because it is relevant.
But Hunter Biden's
computer, which he apparently
left at a computer repair store.
I didn't even know they existed.
And if anyone should not
leave his computer with other people,
it would be
Hunter Biden.
Just for the personal stuff.
But it also had stuff
about how, you know, this, come on,
he's in there, do well, I'm sorry, Hunter
Biden, but you are. And, you know,
you made a living being a,
ne'er-do-well who was taking money
just because you were the vice president's son
and you had influence.
He got, I think, $4.8 million
from Chinese energy companies
to sit on the board and consult.
Yeah, that was his passion in life.
Energy exploration.
Hooker explanation was his passion.
Okay, so the New York Post got a hold
of what was in the computer.
And, you know, because the New York Post
is a Republican.
paper. And the New York
Times and the Washington Post are the Democrat
paper. That's where we are again, kind of.
And the Republican paper,
Twitter, wouldn't
cancel their account.
Can't even report on this story.
And now two years later, the New York Times
and the Washington Post have come around to say,
okay, there was something there. Now,
what I said at the beginning, how did it
came to them? It came to them through Rudy
Giuliani and Steve Bannon. So yes, of course,
when Rudy Giuliani says, I've got
some evidence, you take that with a
giant thing of salt.
But
not two years.
It didn't take two years.
It looks like
the left-wing media just buried
the story because it wasn't part of their narrative
and that's why people don't trust the media.
If you look at the trust
in media bill today, it actually
falls very sharply along party lines.
69% of Democrats still believe
that media will report
the news objectively. That goes down to 15%
for Republicans. For
It's at 36%.
So this is part of the erosion of institutional trust, where one side feels like the media is on their side.
And it does seem like this Hunter Biden laptop story did get buried because of the timing.
I mean, it was coming out during the height of the election in 2020, and it did not want that out in the mainstream.
I think it could also be about the idea of, you know, one, the priorities that the media has about what stories to put
forward. And sometimes it's tied to obviously what is in the national zeitgeist. Other times
it's according to what actually is there to report on. What is the new information that's going to
better inform the population? And of course, here we are in a world, as you well know, where not only
do we have different slants for different media they are suggesting, but also you've got people
who want these silos. They just want echo chambers. We used to say things like, don't preach,
or preach it's to the choir. Now it's, well, why aren't you preaching to the choir? It's all I'm here
for us he preached to as a member of the choir.
And so you've got to balance the idea this is
a consumer-driven business
at times more than it can be
an information-driven business, which of course
tells a lot about where we are as
society. You don't used to be an antidote to this
was local newspapers because they
tended not to be very partisan.
You can't really talk about high school sports
in an ideological way.
But now the
local news business has been
devastated. 2,000 papers out of
existence, you have local news deserts in most of the country.
If you wanted to restore some degree
of moderation and faith in democracy,
you'd actually invest in local papers and bring
them back.
So when you ran,
your big issue really was guaranteed income, right?
Wasn't that what you're most associated with?
Yeah, people still stop me on the streets.
They yang, where's my thousand bucks?
And I tell them, it's coming.
I'm still working on it. It's coming.
Let me answer the
that question. Anybody here live in West Hollywood?
Because here we have a...
Oh, nobody from West Hollywood.
Okay. West Hollywood
is here in L.A. It is, I think, a largely
not talking out of school here, gay
community. Okay, so they have
a pilot program. A number of communities
in this country are starting pilot programs
based on this idea that you are the
foremost proponent of, a guaranteed income.
So West Hollywood, I was saying, they will
provide 25 randomly
selected people to get $1,000
a month, over 18 months.
See how it goes.
Now, here are the qualifications.
One, you have to reside in West Hollywood.
You have to be 50 years older, older.
I'm not sure why that is.
Make $41,400 or less and be LGBT.
Now, first, I don't know how they verify whether you're really gay.
That would be my first question.
But do we...
What do we think?
What do we think, panel, of having this a qualification to get money from the government?
So I took a look at this. Sorry, I'm happy to do.
I took a look at this. It's in tandem with a nonprofit. I have a feeling that there is a private donor who just said, look, I want to fund an intervention for this population.
And then the local government said, sure, it's mostly going to be private money. It's a small pilot.
So I get the sense there was an individual's wish because I don't think the government, the government, the government,
would have devised this on its own.
With that said, you know, I don't like the idea of taking something that everyone would want,
like, for example, a thousand bucks a month, and separating it based upon some kind of characteristic
that some people share and some people don't.
When I moved to Los Angeles, that's where I moved, or it's where everybody moved at first, West Hollywood.
And I can see why that if I, and I was poor.
So I can see why this would have been like, how am I going to get this?
Tell us more about what would have come next, Bill.
All right, that's enough.
You were great.
Time for new rules, everybody.
New rules.
Okay, new rule, Harry Styles, needs to fire his stylist.
I get it, the whole I'm challenging gender norms thing,
but this look doesn't say my identity is fluid.
It says, I'm a serial killer who wears his victim's clothes.
New rule, Annie Rose, the English dog that has been voted this year's
Cadbury Easter Bunny.
Must be honest about the realities
of show business. Sure, it's a rush
when you take home the night's biggest prize,
but then the cocaine wears off
and then you're just a mop
of fur on the floor and a pair of
bunny ears thinking, what am I supposed to do
with all this chocolate? I'm a fucking dog.
New Rule, someone must tell me
what's up with the new Maytag repairman.
Is he human?
Is he an android from the future?
Did he time travel and kill
the previous Maytag repairman?
And if that's the direction they're going,
they should hire Arnold Schwarzenegger as the Maytag repair man.
Arnold has lived the role.
We all remember the time he put a load in the dishwasher.
New old Chad Kemple,
who set a Guinness World Record
by completing a half marathon in two hours and 19 minutes
while pushing his quintuplets in a baby stroller,
was not complained to his wife about how hard that was.
You'd think it's uncomfortable pushing five kids 13 miles?
Try pushing them out of vagina.
New rule, Colin Craig Brown,
the man who thought he'd unearthed the world's largest potato,
until DNA tests proved it was actually the underground stem of a gourd
and not a potato at all.
Has to look on the bright side.
For one very brief shining moment in time,
you thought you'd found a big potato.
And finally, new rule, the Fox News editor,
who each week highlight one thing I say about the Democrats
that fits their narrative
and then completely ignores all the shit I say about Republicans,
might want to go ahead and turn the TV off right now.
Because we are now only seven months away
from midterm elections that are poised
to make the Republicans much more powerful,
so attention must be paid to where the Republican Party is right now.
You'd think, with the left going a little loony
over the past few years,
Republicans would have seen an opening to grab the sensible center.
But no. Former Republican governor of Ohio,
an anti-Trump or presidential candidate John Kasich,
said of his party in 2019,
sometimes you've got to let the fever break.
And I think we have a fever, and it's going to break.
But it didn't break.
And it's not a fever. It's more like a tumor.
And tumors don't go away.
They get worse.
Normal Republican crazy?
where you just shoot guns
at things you don't like in your campaign ads?
Even that shit doesn't even cut it anymore.
The new crop
are such a bunch of foaming at the mouth
crack and releases that Clarence Thomas
wants to marry them. I look back
at the Republican class of 2010
because that year, I remember,
has been held up as an example
of Republican cuckiness gone wild.
Remember Christine O'Donnell?
Oh, she had been a frequent guest
on my old show, a very sweet,
sincere, Jesus freak conservative,
who then ran for the Senate,
at which time I played some highlights
from her appearances on politically incorrect,
and the media seized on Christine's statement
that she had dabbled in witchcraft,
as if it was the craziest thing a Republican would ever say.
Congressman Todd Aiken around the same time
caused a media firestorm when he said that in cases of legitimate rape,
the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.
And Indiana Senate candidate Richard Murdoch concurred, saying even when a life began in rape,
it was something God intended to happen.
Both had to go away.
But if a Republican congressman said the same thing today, would they have to?
I doubt it since now what they said is literally the party's active legislative agenda in multiple states.
And I used to think Rick Santorum was weird for wearing a sweater vest.
in 2009, it was a big deal
when Congressman Joe Wilson yelled out,
you lie during Obama's State of the Union address.
But this year, Marjorie Taylor Green and Lauren Bobart
repeatedly interrupted Biden at his state of the Union.
Look at them.
Excuse me, Karen.
The president is talking.
It's not a black kid you caught trying to use the pool.
No, you can't.
Can't have another skinny margarita,
and if you don't sit down,
this flight is never getting to Orlando.
For all of you who get frustrated
because Mansion and Cinema don't vote like true liberals,
because they never were,
or think Trump is as bad as it's going to get,
remember the first rule of modern Republican politics.
They always go lower,
because this party has no bottom,
unless you count Lindsey Graham.
The kooky Republicans of the 2010-Everbalties,
wouldn't even make the cut today for extremism.
And the ones today aren't even as bad as the ones in the wings.
Where do you see the incoming group of Facebook uncles,
crazy Karens, and sub-mental shit posters coming up?
Herschel Walker, Senate candidate in Georgia,
who freely admits he has a dozen personalities,
none of whom you'd want to stick next to do at a wedding,
recently came out against evolution,
saying science said man came from apes.
If that's true, why are there still apes?
Think about it.
You first.
And also think about this.
If honey-nut Cheerios came from Jerios,
why do we still have gerio?
Alaska Senate candidate
Kelly Chabaca speaks in tongues,
otherwise known as jabbering senselessly.
This is her. Take a listen.
pathetic, like the people of Alaska
would even vote for some
dim-witted religious nun.
Nevada State Treasurer candidate
Michelle Fiore is called Lady
Trump and has some interesting
policy ideas like, quote,
arming young, hot little
girls on campus so they can kill
rapists.
Maybe they can start a sorority,
Delta Bostaca.
On the topic of Syrian refugees,
Michelle Fiori said, I'm about to fly
to Paris and shoot him in the head myself.
I'm okay with putting them down, blacking them out, and ending their miserable life.
What was Bush's catchphrase, compassionate conservative?
Former Missouri Republican governor and now Senate candidate Eric Gritens is a sociopath,
whose ex-wife says he beat her and the kids,
and who resigned the governorship after being charged with tying up a woman
he was having an affair with in his basement,
taking nude pictures of her
and threatening to blackmail her if she told anyone.
As governors do.
And look at these two Neanderthals,
almost coming to blows during a debate.
And they're both Republicans.
It was so over the top,
the crowd filed out in disgust.
I'm joking, of course,
they couldn't have eaten it up more if it were deep fried.
And my favorite,
the Republican running against AOC,
in the Bronx is Tina Forte,
a self-described viral
political influencer, who's happy
to sell you a T-shirt that says,
I could shit a better president.
That is, when she's not
busy campaigning on her way
to the gym.
Give the balls to debate me. We can do
an our fuck of paperbue, bitch.
How do you like that? Motherfucker,
fuck out of you.
What are they serving at the Republican convention
these days? Bath salts?
If the GOP still had a
platform, which they don't, but if they did, it would be fuck you.
You think the Republicans of 2010 were cooks?
This crowd looks at those people like, please, they've never even masturbated on a subway.
All right, that's our show. I'll be at the Mirro Theater in Indianapolis, June 5th,
at the Soaring Eagle Casino in Mount Pleasant, Michigan, June 18th, and at the New Jersey.
My home state performing arts in Newark, July 8th.
I want to thank Andrew Yang, Laura Coates, and Nicole Perthron.
No, well.
You're on overtime now, and join us on, I mean, YouTube, and join us on overtime.
I don't know what I'm saying.
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