Real Time with Bill Maher - Ep. #611: Wynton Marsalis, Scott Galloway, Matt Welch

Episode Date: September 10, 2022

Bill’s guests are Wynton Marsalis, Scott Galloway, and Matt Welch (Originally aired 09/09/22) See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO late-night series Real Time with Bill Moss. Thank you so much. Thank you very much. Thank you. I appreciate that. I know why you're happy.

I know. I know. I know why you're happy. The heat waves seems to be subsiding a little bit, right? I mean, it's been a brutal week. Right? This town? Oh, my God.

It's like, L.A. was like Death Valley with In-N-Out burgers. I mean... I... people on this time are going to their hot yoga class to cool off. I mean, it's, ooh, it's it hot out there. I saw this Gen Z kid.

He was so desperate to cool off. He changed his pronoun to, now they said, we're going to get rain. We're going to get like a torrential downpour for 36 hours. It's worse. Did anybody remember when people used to come to this state for the weather?

Remember that? It was like a selling point. But, okay. Let's not bore the rest of the country with our problems. A lot of problems. I tell you the big story when we were off is the Biden speech. Did you see Biden's speech? He has...

I don't know. I liked it. Right. I mean, Uncle Joe's taken a new tack. The gloves are off. No more Mr. Nice guy. He called out Maga Nation for being semi-fascist and Trump was pissed. Seriously.

Trump immediately called for a new election, or he said, if not, that, he demanded to be just reinstalled. How dare you call me a fascist, now install me as president immediately. And one of his chief architects of MAGA Nation,

Steve Bannon, you know, Steve Bannon, he's been on this show, we know Steve, sure. Steve, he's in big trouble, not for any of the really horrible things he did, for something rather petty, you know, when Trump was president, he wanted a member build the wall, and they didn't build anything. So Steve Bannon had his own charity.

We build the wall and people send him money so that he would build the wall and then he took the money. That's what he's in trouble for. But to be fair, they did build half a mile of wall. So they were very effective in stopping the world's laziest migrant. But you all know the big story. Sad day for inbreeding.

Queen Elizabeth died at 96. They say the cause of death was Megan Markle's podcast. No, I like the Queen. Her personal estate, they said, was worth almost half a billion dollars. It used to be worth a billion. That's what you get for listening to Matt Damon.

But the White House is saying for a long time, they didn't know whether Biden was going to go to the funeral. They finally said just a few hours ago, he is going to, I was not in doubt. Biden funeral. It's like when the dog hears your keys. You know, I mean,

you know, Biden senses condolences to the people of England and said, if we can do anything, we're here to be your friend. And Trump also sent condolences and said they could bury her in his golf course if they wanted to take. Oh, I mean,

condolences are coming in from all of it. Of course, the British people, very upset about this is that Elton John is writing a new song. It's called Mustard in the Fridge. Well, he's noting the fact Diana was 36, and the queen is almost 100. Mustard in the fridge. Seems to me you lived your life like mustard in the fridge.

We're all upset. I called Buckingham Palace to give my condolences. They said, New Queen, who did? You know who's very glad the Queen is dead? QAnon. Any QAnon people here? I always welcome. I say everybody's welcome at my show.

But QAnon, they think the Queen was part of the child trafficking ring that was eating babies. But she lived to 96. I say, pass the baby. All right. We've got a great show. We have Matt Welch and Scott Galloway. But first up,

he is a nine-time Grammy Award winner and the first Pulitzer Prize-winning jazz musician. He leads jazz at the Lincoln Center with its 35th concert season opening on September 30th. Wenton Marsalis. Hello, sir. How are you? Great to see you again.

Thank you for being, ma'am. I feel like I over here. you a debt of gratitude because, first of all, I associate you synonymously with jazz. Not that there haven't been giants in the past, but in my era, you are jazz. And I associate jazz and I associate jazz with marijuana. Right? I mean, they used to even call a joint

a jazz cigarette. Is that not true? I think so. And remember, when people first started getting high, it was legal. Was it? Les musicians were getting high, it was legal. And then it became illegal. Louis Armstrong was an advocate. Pot was legal?

It was legal. Cocaine was legal? Well, I think pot was, too. I'm not sure about that. Don't check me. I think they... Don't check me. Whatever it was, it was frowned upon.

Certainly, by the 20s and 30s, it was certainly frowned upon. And the only people who were doing it were jazz musicians. I mean, they sort of made it a thing. Well, I think a lot of people were doing it. They were getting publicity for doing it. And, you know, I think that actually legalizing it is the smartest thing to do. It's much better than alcohol.

Oh, of course. And, you know, it's going to seem crazy because I grew up actually in clubs. I was always around people high, not just weed, but just whatever was there. P-2, it was always secondhand smoke that got me. There's people around me wouldn't. No, I actually never got high.

I never smoked nothing. I'm a brass player. Wow. But I didn't, I don't think it's as big a deal as it's made out to be. Sometimes it's fun to just tell people no. And I think there are the more pressing drug problems. Oh, there are. They have drugs that you pay for.

That's a bigger problem. Well, I thought. Over-the-counter drugs that you don't pay just a few dollars for it. Sure. That you pay a lot for. But you can't deny that it does have something to do with the flowering of people's imagination and creativity. I don't think that. I don't think getting high up yet all.

You must know people who think that. It's like the great Jerry Mulligan told me once about getting high on heroin. He said, we all thought we would play like bird, and we all ended up just being heroin addicts. Wow. Like, you're not going to play like Charlie Parker because you're high. Right. And we have all the history to prove that. So if you want to get high and have fun and you have your thing you want to do, okay, but it's a thing you want to do.

okay, but it's not going to help you be Duke Ellington. Jeez, I've got to make a big reassessment of a lot. I get a good. I would love to stay in talk of you, but you've really rocked my world. Well, listen, you know, we both travel America, right? Do you see the same country

when you go out to the middle of America that you read about in the media? Because I don't. No, I see people. I mean, I've been traveling in a country by car. I'm afraid to fly. I traveled across the country in a car to come out here, and I'm always in places talking with people.

And, you know, a lot of the things we think, when we meet people, they're people. When we view people stereotypically, and we deal with them in their group, and when they sit in their group, they're not like who they are when you see them in person. Right. You know, about this, afraid to fly,

if you smoke a joint. It doesn't help me. I wouldn't try it. No kind of drug would help me with that. I'm so afraid. But you wouldn't know if you sat next to me. I'd just fake being cool the whole time. I get some music.

I work on a score. I'm just in here. You are always cool. I don't think you're fake. I need a better phobia. But last time you were here, we were talking about how, I mean, your theory that the,

and I think a lot of people shared, that the media sort of keeps us fighting amongst each other. Well, it's a hustle. And the hustle is always based on getting people on the bottom of a society to think that each one is the enemy. And in our country, if you look at the position

the poor Southern White was in, he's angry at the people who cannot affect him. And he's out fighting war for those people and those who don't affect him, slaves. He's looking at them and he's mad at them. You need to be mad at who can affect your financial condition.

Right. Yeah. You're talking about the soldiers who fought for General Lee in the Confederacy did not really have a stake in that. They were not owners. They're still fighting. And they're still fighting. They're still fighting. There are people fighting against who live in places where they never see a Mexican anytime. They're fighting to make sure that Mexicans don't come here. And they're fighting for issues that don't affect them locally. And they're fighting as a group with some group that they can. can't even define really. A group called white or a group called black. And my brother and I were laughing about, can you imagine if you've got people from Vietnam, Vietnam, Japan, China, Thailand, and you put them all together and call them a group called yellows? And then you start to talk to them as if they were going to adhere to your concept of what they were. And as a nation, we have to kind of, we have to figure out what space do we want to be in in terms of our conception of ourselves.

We want to be symbiotic? Like you and I, we're sitting there talking. Do I want to fight you or do I want to come together with you? Do I want to share the space? And that's really what jazz is about. It's about sharing space. It's important to realize that you're sharing space with people who are not playing what you would play.

So sometimes they're playing notes. Rhythm section is accompanied you. They're not playing what you would play. But you can't stop in the middle of what you're playing and say, don't play this. Play what I would play. So the exercise in the music is how can we use our form to address the issue at hand, which is swinging and sounding good as a group,

then how can I work with you in the space and find a way for us to swing? That's why we go back and forth. And it's not all funny games. You know, sometimes it can get heated. It's not all on the game. On stage, it can get heated? Not enough. You try to, if you're professional, it won't get heated on stage.

But there have been times when people have come to issues on stage. For us and our group, we have a really good balance, and we acknowledge it for the last 15 or so years. We all say most bands are very dysfunctional. But you're saying because it's so improvisational, sometimes you get pissed because some guy is going off on something that certainly wasn't planned because it couldn't be, but you don't think that that was a great direction to go in.

Well, there's a lot of choice. Right. And wherever there's choice, there's strife. Yeah. And there are a lot of paradoxical moments, ambiguous moments. and somebody steps into the space and you have to make decisions and there are also hierarchies like the drums are the president the piano is the legislature and the base is a judicial branch

now you have to deal with them so you know a drummer might play something you don't like and also the jazz musicians are very we have heated personalities like we can speak good clear English to you if we don't like what's going on and we play with a lot of passion and feeling but we're working out ideas, and things could go in any way, but there's a form that you have to know that we follow. You have to agree that you're trying to swing and that you will follow that form, and you solo as long as you want.

So you may solo 15 choruses when two were good. Now everybody's looking at you like, so, you know, you have to want to share space. Can you impeach a drummer? Because I have heard tapes of people on stage yelling at their band. I've heard Buddy Rich. Well, you couldn't impeach him. It was his band.

Buddy Rich? You couldn't impeach Buddy. No. He's a drummer. Sometime of 8th degree black belt or something. You had to be very careful trying to impeach him. But they could be very mean. I've heard James Brown call out a fine to his band on.

$50. Could just the guy hit the wrong note. It's a part of the kind of culture of excellence. Sometimes people get heated. When I was young, I was very heated. As you get older, you start to learn how to not be that way. Because you get more out of people when you're not doing. But certainly, as a Pulitzer Prize winner in your field,

as the director of the jazz people at Lincoln Center, certainly when you're on stage, I assume everyone just gives it over to you. No, we don't have that type of band. Really? Actually, we have younger musicians that came up just more like we're familiar. So sometimes I'll call a tune in our bass player calls San Ricas, who I've known since he was in high school.

he'll be like, no, Papa. I don't actually count our songs off. The guy who sits in front of me, who will play second Trubon, Chris Crenshaw, he has perfect pitch and perfect time. So he's like a metronome. So I learned to just say, Chris, what is 120?

And he will count the songs off. We share the speech. What is 120? I know what 420 is. I think, I think, I think, the 120 is, I don't, Chris knows.

I don't know if I ask him. All right. What is it, Chris? Well, so you drove out here, you said. Yeah, that's. From New York? From New York. I've driven around the country for 40 years.

No, I know. You're playing the Hollywood Bowl. I'm not flattering myself again. No, I'm so flattered that why you were here on your long journey, you would come to see me in any time you want to. I always love having you here. It's such a pleasure. Thank you.

All right. Winston Marcellus. Let's go it again. Longer form. All right. Let's meet our panel. Thank you, brother. Hello, gentlemen.

All right, he is co-host of the Pivot Podcast, an author of the outgoing book, Adrift, America in 100 charts. Scott Galloway is back with us. And he's edited at large for Reason magazine and co-host of the fifth column podcast, Matt Welch. She's over here, once again. Okay, I'm just going to ask one question about the queen.

Look, I like the queen. Everybody likes the queen. The movie The Queen. It was great. Remember that movie? And if you remember, the theme of the movie was like, you know, Tony Blair comes into office, he thinks he's going to hate her and she's old, and he comes away defending her and understanding why she is great.

Okay. So, but I made lots of jokes about the Queen. I noticed whenever it was a British person, like even the ones who you see, iconic classic, Sharon Osborne was here once, Pierce Morgan, Andrew Sullivan, the British people, it's not funny. It's like, no, don't call her the old. bag. Whatever I... It's like... No. They really... If you're even the ones who came

to America, the British people, they have a thing, or... My question is, is it just for this lady? I think it died with her. I think that reverence, I think she was the last one. And now, the monarchy, I'm not going to say it's going to go away.

But I think that kind of like, no, don't say anything about it. I think that's going to go. I think she was the last of a thing. What do you think? I have a hard time believing that Johnny Rodden is going to say God save the king when he tweeted out his best wishage towards the queen. Johnny Rottenham? Johnny Rotten? Johnny Rotten did. In addition to Ozzy

Osbourne and everybody else. I don't think that's going to happen with King Charles. That's what I'm saying. It's in their blood. My mom came here in the early 60s with just two suitcases and she found on a steamship and she found space for China that had the queen's picture on it. No, I don't think there's any individual in history that's rained over an institution with so much grace over 70 years. So, you know, it's, it's, yeah.

I thought it was also, I thought it was also hardening to see a bunch of people come together and collectively be sad about one person. It felt good. In some, I thought the double rainbow over the Buckingham Palace was fitting. She did, I mean, there's been a lot of great stories. This guy's only second generation British, apparently, and he's got a bono for him. 100%. It's unbelievable.

You'll get a boner from the following story, which is that that's come out since. She loved to drive, right? She was a mechanic during World War II, and she loved the tool around in her Jeep. She got the Saudi King Abdullah. She's like, hey, you want to take a little spin on the properties? She's like, sure. She got into the driver's seat. And he's, wait, that's not how this works.

And there wasn't anybody else. And she just starts ripping, doing donuts in Balmoral, absolutely creeping out the Saudi. So there's your bonus. Ironically, the same prince was a queen. Sorry. Very uncomfortable silence, sir. Sorry. And the Saudi dude wore a dress.

Anyways. All right, let's go to America. The big thing that happened when we were off was Biden's speech. And I got to say this. We're going to talk about whether you like the speech or not and whether it was the right thing to do. But I got to say, Joe Biden is an old dog that can learn a neutral. trick. He is.

He is all about, you know, and by that, that's such a stupid phrase. Old dog, can't teach an old dog. Yeah, that applies to dogs. Humans are actually the opposite. We get wiser as we get older. Something Americans are too stupid to understand. So, like, he came into office,

I'm going to be, you know, reconcile with the Republicans, they're the old Republican Party. He finally got it through his head. No, they're not. You cannot negotiate with election deniers. So, 59% of the people agree with him in his speech about MAGA is a threat to this country because they don't believe in democracy. But 58% of the people said this speech was divisive.

I get this because I feel like it's kind of analogous to Afghanistan. That he did it, I liked. The way he did it, not good. I think there's something to that. I think the speech was a bad speech and a misstatement. opportunity. If you think, and I think you think, and I think, that there's a subset of the Republican Party, MAGA Republicans, ultra MAGA, whatever he's calling it, that MAGA force every day changes, that don't believe in the results of the 2020 election that are actively trying

to elect people like Doug Maastriano in Pennsylvania, but people in secretaries of state and Michigan and other places that are going to engage in chicaneery in 2024, then you can focus on that. There's no business in the speech like that to talk about, as Biden did, infrastructure, contraception. That has nothing to do. The thing that you're talking about is a particular set of authoritarian

or just kind of cuckoo-bonanas values. And what you do in that case is say, what can we do to try to insulate ourselves as a country and a society against that? One thing you could do is mention, which he did not do even once in the speech, the Electoral Count Reform Act, bipartisan,

introduced by Susan Collins, a Republican that would basically take off the table all of the novel legal tricks that the Trump team were trying in 2020. Didn't mention it. And Democrats are not bringing it up. They're not bringing that vote up for the bill up for discussion

until after the election. If you really believe democracy is in peril, act like it. I... I think you're giving him too much credit because I don't think people saw the speech. The networks didn't carry it. You know,

His big mistake was, well, two mistakes. One, thinking that Americans can appreciate nuance. He wanted to separate Republicans from MAGA Republicans. And let me give you the four criteria he said are a MAGA Republican. You reject the election results. Support the candidates who reject election results, of which there are many on the ballot this November. Approve of the January 6th rioters.

Support the political use of violence. that's who he was talking to. No one heard this. They didn't watch the speech. All they heard was he attacked us. He attacked our side. That's where his big mistake was. People are not good enough to appreciate nuance in this country.

They didn't hear this. If he had made a speech that critiqued the fringe of both sides, I think he would be in such a winning place right now. I'm sure that on MSNBC they would be saying, oh, that's false equivalencies. So fucking what? Do you want to save the country or do you want to win points?

Yes, there would be some false equivalencies. But if he had made a speech to that middle of the country guy that we were talking about, who's actually all over the country, he comes up to me and says, thank you for talking since, you know, I just want some centrist stuff that isn't nonsense. If he had called out the people he did call out,

the Magaside, but then said, and the left, my party has a lot of crazy shit that's going on. And people... And if he had said that, we don't want, people who don't want fascism and don't want to lose the right to an abortion, and also don't

want their children indoctrinated when they go to school, and called out some of that. I think it would have been such a big moment for the country. The largest political party is now independence to have 41%. And I think... Really? This mistake and self-identifications come from 34 to 41%.

The mistake we on the left make is that we believe people are going to vote for what offends them as opposed to what affects them. And the opportunity to talk about economics, the opportunity, you know, I will say this. I do think it's a false equivalence. Everybody is referencing the Lincoln speech and saying that, you know, four score and seven years ago, you need a pathos to bring people together. The Lincoln speech basically said, I'm going to draw a drop of blood. from every white soldier that we drew from black people. It was not, it was, we were going to reunify the country

by killing more white southerners. And I think at some point you reunify the country by holding people accountable for their actions and their words. But I think also, I think you work backward from the, what are the elements of Trump or Trumpism that are beyond the pale, right? Let's say he lies more than everybody else. He kind of does, right? Yep.

He encouraged people to riot. He disputed the results of an election. There are lies on the Democratic side, too, sometimes. If you think about what are the traits that we don't want to see, then look to yourself and anybody's faction. I'm libertarian with a small L. It's a small little faction. People on that team, too, can engage in this and call it up.

There's a lot of election denial in the Democratic Party, depending on if you lose. Stacey Abrams was not a gracious loser in the Georgia race a couple of years ago, and she's revered as a hero on the left largely. There's a lot of political violence in this country on the left. It's not the same.

But it's worth talking about if those values matter to you, you work back from the value. I don't know why a smart guy like you would go there. Honestly, and I, as a big fan of you, I just think there's so many other things. And you're right, too. It is false equivalents. The Republicans are

more dangerous. But again, do you want to win or do you want to win points? And then, sorry, to your point, like, please, Al Gore conceded the election. Yeah. Hillary Clinton got in her purple suit. Yeah. Okay? That's just the

worst one to fight that on. Maybe Stacey Abrams wasn't as gracious as you should have been. That issue is a, Republican own that issue of election denial. Let's fight And Democrats have to own of other crazy shit

where, you know, a bodega guy gets attacked, and then he's brought up on charges because he fought back. Go to war on that. This bakery in Portland that I saw won a big suit this week because they were accused of racism and they won, I think, $135 million

from Oberlin College. Just pick out something. There's something every day that Biden could have picked out and said, And my side has gone too far on this, and yes, it wouldn't be equivalent, but the country could then, the people in the middle and the people who don't want to feel like

you're just attacking my team would be like, yes, finally, and then he could not have to run again. I think we all wait a bit in that case. Hold on the extremists on the left. They want to fire some of my colleagues for making hapless remarks. They want to try and see social status

by acting more virtuous than they are in their everyday lives, and it's obnoxious, and it's out of touch. But election denial, wanting to move towards a white Christian nationalist nation, that's just fucking out of control. I'm not arguing with you. One is a dumpster fire. One is a dumpster fire.

The other is a nuclear mushroom cloud that brings all of us. Okay, but the people who populate this country aren't watching you or this show right now and just don't appreciate that difference. And you've got to win. You got to win. Win, baby. Just win. But his job was to turn out Democrats, not to reunify the country. Midterms are in two weeks.

He wanted, or coming up, he wanted to electrify his base. I don't think this is about reunifying a country. But we're talking about so much of the problem of this country, I feel, is that we're a grievance culture. Now, that's especially on the right. I used to always ask, I don't understand why the Trump voter who thinks of themselves is so macho. likes this whiny little bitch. That was always my point. Why?

And I realized because they completely relate. They relate to this feeling of grievance that we've been robbed of something. And also insulted. I mean, you hear that a lot from people who voted for Trump, especially the first time around, is that they don't like the way that the culture sneers at them,

the way perceived that the culture, academia, or whatever, is sneering at them. and he speaks to them or in their language in some way. That's as much as anything else of people's motivation. But again, I think what you do is, you don't do a campaign speech because that's not the, you said 41% of people self-identify as independence. I wrote a book about that 10 years ago.

It is a big thing. People don't like the partisan scrum. So there are values that you can appeal to everybody on within that. And he didn't. Just today, he tweeted out, you know, we have to fight the ultra-maga agenda of cutting social security. My people, that is a ridiculous thing to say.

Donald Trump, in the field of 2015 and 2016, distinguished himself as the Republican, laughing at Paul Ryan for wanting to cut social security. Donald Trump changed Republican attitudes about cutting social security. Ultramaga has nothing to do with cutting social security. So stop trying to make a normal election out of it. Talk about the abnormal things that Republicans are doing.

Why is there... Why is there always as implicit no? notion and expectation that we on the left have an responsibility to understand the guy that dresses up as Dramarquois. By the way, lives with his mother, lives with his mother, the guy who stormed the Capitol. Why is there always the on us on the left to understand people who want to deny the election? And here's what I understand. We have a constitution, we have laws, we're going to put their asses in jail. And this notion around masculinity is an important one, because a lot of men are failing in this country, and unfortunately they've conflated

toxicity with masculinity because of our last president, not recognizing the true masculinity is the ability to garner strength and skills so that you can protect others. That's what it means of our men. We need that, the Democratic Party. Obama, Obama reflected that. Our veterans reflected that.

We need more. And by the way, and on the left, you also got to acknowledge, to be a man doesn't mean you're toxic. It's okay to be a man. It's a thing, and it's a really awesome... but... Thanks, bro. Not going to help it.

Great to be with you guys here. Beginning of football season last night. Was it an awesome or fucking what? Man, I can't believe the bill's kicked ass, man. That's the worst impression of a man I've heard. Let's talk about the queen. Well, I mean, there are millions of men, to your point, about men being in crisis,

there are millions of men who are playing, you know, fantasy football now. They, like, have a make-believe football team that they're managing, and they're going to ignore their family for the next six months. Win-win. What? It sounds like a win-win. I mean...

Yes. Come on. I always... My individualism is dar starts going off. when I hear a lot of big talk about men and women and what they need and what they don't. But I think a big part of it right now is that men just don't work as much as they used to, especially young men, right? Teenagers 20 years ago, more than half of them 16 and over worked.

Now it's one third. That's a big drop-off in 20 years. And every one of the generations afterwards works less as a cohort than they did up until, this is good news for you guys, 55. 55 and older more share of men work than they did 20 years ago. That's weird. If we're, like, losing the idea that getting a work ethic, figuring out how to, you know, wake up, hung over and show up to work on time to get the independence of having a hostile third party allow, you know, pay you money to do indifferent work, that's important. And we're not doing that anymore.

And that, I think, is worse for masculinity than playing fantasy. But you're talking about the symptom. We're trying to get at the root cause. Why are men in such crisis? I mean, the stats are like, only 40% go to college. So they're losing out to women there in a big way. And women with degrees don't marry men who don't have degrees. So, great, you'll be lonely forever, aren't you?

Why are you chewing that? They didn't tell my wife. They don't marry as much, which I think is great, but other people think that's a terrible thing. Okay. people do like a mate whatever that's whatever you blow your boat floats by

but there is something going on I mean mass shootings is a uniquely male crime it's always because some dude in Buffalo you know had somebody swipe left on him too much I mean I feel like that's what's going on here

is a lot of sort of mailness coming to the fore and announcing itself in violence and racism and hatred because they're lonely and lost and feel that they are not useful in society. How did we get there? The most unstable nations in the world

have one thing in common, and that is they have too many lonely, broke, and alone men. It's the most dangerous person in the world. Someone rushed to be attacked because of the fowah. He was attacked because a guy was living in his mother's basement. We have a crisis among young men, and it starts at a young age. Young men are twice as likely on a behavior-adjusted basis to be suspended. Seven and ten high school valedictorians or women, for every one female, for every two female graduates from college in the next five years, you'll only have one.

The scariest stat, walking down the avenue that is America, only one and three men under the age of 30 have had sex in the last year. And you hear sex and your brain fires. But the bottom line is it's a key step to the elemental foundation of any society, and that is relationships. Young men aren't attaching to work. They aren't attaching to women. They aren't attaching to schools. We are producing too many of the most dangerous person in society. And we are losing out on a key.

We're not going to have kids. We're not going to have a productive society. We're going to have more violence. And also, we're going to have a society that does not value young men. And they do not. Young men are different. They develop later. And by the way, if you're a young man, this work-from-home thing is a disaster.

They need young men young men need guardrails. They need to know how to read a room. They need to put it on a clean shirt. They know not to get high

or drink too much during the week and then get into the office the next day. We have a crisis among young men. It is, it is, it is, it is one of the most, in my view, one of the most dangerous things

in our society. And where do you put the phone in this equation? Because I put it high up because, thank you. Because I was reading recently Tinder, 2 to 1 male

to female. Oh. What? No, it's just a startling statistic, yeah. Why is it startling? I mean, it sounds like a great idea. Oh, I can just order women like I do a pizza on my phone. I think I'll have the Kelly today. Except when

you go on it, it weeds out the people who aren't the best looking, I think, because, you know, used to be, go to a bar, okay, maybe it was potluck. But you have to be able to learn to talk to a woman. I don't think they had to talk to a woman anymore. Because it's just on the phone. It's just like, what's up?

You know, what's up and send a picture of your penis? Like, that's going to work. Sometimes. So you, you, you ask about the phone. Simply put, it's a disaster. Whenever technology comes into an industry, it consolidates it. Mating has been consolidated. worst way. 50 men on Tinder, 50 women, 46 of the women show all of their attention to just

four men, leaving 46 men pursuing just four women. If mating was a country, it would be more unequal than Venezuela. We have huge mating inequality. And here's the problem. When people don't get together and there's no pheromones and there's no vibe, women, and we don't like to say this on the left, primarily try and make very quick assumptions about this individual's ability to garner resources in the future. So what you have is this concentration of interest and you're ending up with Porsche polygamy, where 10% of the men get 90% of the attention,

which does not lead to good behavior or form long-term relationships. E-commerce was disastrous for retail. Social media was disastrous for everybody. Online dating is disastrous for mating and for men. It's terrible. And you can follow him on. Professor Galloway, on it.

I'm sure glad I'll be able to garner resources in the future. Have you ever been doing it? Have you ever used a dating app? No, never. I wouldn't know how. I wouldn't want to. Swipe the wrong way. It's a bit of disaster. Well, first of all, they'll catch you doing it.

Right? I mean, and also, it's, I wouldn't believe what people look like. I don't understand why this is even a thing. It's like inviting yourself to be fooled, and you said pheromones, is that what it is? Like when you smell somebody?

Vib. Humor. Right. Eye contact. You're funny. Whatever it might be. And let's just not talk about men. The phone has been a disaster from women. About 2013.

About 2013, all of a sudden, self-cutting and self-harm amends into hospitals, not self-reporting, but actual hospital admissions, has gone up about 80% since social media when on mobile. Imagine being presented with your full self as a 13-year-old girl 24-by-7. So I'd rather give my 15-year-old daughter a bottle of jack and weed than put her on Instagram. So speaking of social media, I don't know if you saw it, the new I watch came out this week, and it's like apps where you can tell you, oh, there it is, like when you're ovulating, we'll show up on your phone.

It'll tell you, like, if you're getting into an accident, if you get into an accident, it'll alert, call the cops right away. These are not the only new apps on the phone. Would you like to see what they have on the watch now? They have one. There's some crazy shit out there. There's something on this new I watch. Remind Stoners what they were just talking about.

Look at this one. Automatically skips all the songs in a playlist that remind you of your first husband. This one automatically changes your pronouns every 90 days so you can remain perpetually offended. Wow. This one keeps a database of which Nicholas Cage movies are ironic. ironically bad and which ones are just bad, bad.

This alerts your waiter to when you're telling a story so we can come over and ask you how everything is tasting just when you get to the punchline. This one can scan any tattoo and tell you exactly where a woman's parents failed. Fart Shazam. All right you to Shazam any fart to find out who did it. I think that's...

And this one alerts you when Canada does something that makes you say, damn, Canada, you are supposed to... to be the normal country. All right. So, I want to go back to something you both touched on.

Labor Day was Monday, and you were talking about people not going to work anymore, and we were also talking about how the Queen went to work for 70 years, never complaining, went to the castle every day, all 2,800 rooms.

It was a... What a tough job. But there's this new thing called quiet quitting. And I read this week Gallup poll. 50% of people in this country are quiet quitting. If you haven't heard the term, I was explaining it to

somebody who hadn't the other day. And I was saying it just means you do the minimum of what you have to do at work just to keep your job. Some people like it. And this person said to me, that makes a lot of sense to me because of the way I've noticed

customer service has gone down in the last few years. And I thought, yeah, quiet quitting. It sounds like this noble crusade were quiet quitting. But really, what about the person on the other side of the counter? You're just fucking them. You're fucking your fellow citizen because you're not doing your

job. I've noticed a lot of quiet quitting, too. When I travel, you notice. Hotel, a lot of quiet quitting. Not the maids. They keep doing their job. It's the asshole with the college degree at the front desk. Yeah, there's some mixed data on it. because supposedly young people are just as engaged as they were before,

but I think work from home is a disaster from young people. And be clear, if your job can be moved to Boulder, it can be moved to Bangalore. And if you want to quiet quit, you're going to be loudly unemployed for a long time. Let me just sound, let me, that gets applause. Anyways, let me just, let me just be very boomerish here, because I like to talk about what it means when you're 20s and 30s. if you expect to be in the top median in this country, America becomes more like itself every day.

It's a great place. If you're wealthy, it's a rapacious, ugly place if you don't have money. And if you want money in an increasingly competitive economy, I have just only one piece of advice. Work your ass off. Because they will figure it out. And one of the most successful companies in the world is Accenture. And Accenture is basically targeting companies

that have big work from home cultures. And they come in and say, we got an idea. It's called work from Hyderabad, and we're going to start outsourcing all of these jobs. That's an end-due, right? Work from home, quiet quitting, whatever you want to call it. There's no such thing as balance. You can have everything. You just can't have it at once.

The reason we have balance, I'm going to go out on a limb-air, is we worked our damn asses off. And you know what? It gets harder and harder every year for young people. But don't kid yourself. Jay-Z followed his passion. Assume you are not Jay-Z. Get in the office, work your ass off.

I would add that there's been two big events over the last a few years. One's been commented on, and one hasn't. Commented one is COVID. People have worked from home. The relationship to their job is just different. You found out what you could do from a... Did you really need to live close to New York City, or could you move to Nashville? You know, a lot of people kind of shook up the snow globe when it came to that.

So that changes their approach. I think some of the data probably is reflecting that as much as it's reflecting anything else. People are just sort of rethinking where do I live and why. But then the other thing that doesn't get talked about because we have such stupid politics about immigration in this country, we have choked off immigration, legal immigration in this country over the last five years. Both presidents. Donald Trump started it,

started it very, very hard, especially at the end of his term. Joe Biden has continued quite a lot of it. We don't have enough legal visas. The hardest working sons of bitches in this country all the time are immigrants. And they also create jobs. If you look at the Bureau of Labor Statistics, of what is the cohort

hived off that works the most? Hispanics, right? We need more Hispanics in this country. Those people are not going... If you go down to the Home Depot, you're not going to see Chad and Tyler out in front of there. That's not it, right?

We need people who are going to do that and other things. Got to wrap it up there. Thank you, gentlemen. Thank you, Gross. Time for new rules. We'll grow out after the show. Okay. New Rule, Timothy Shalame and Harry Stiles have to tell us if they also go to the bathroom together. Check that new rule. Timothy Shalomey and Harry Stiles shouldn't tell us if they go to the bathroom together, because I don't care. I know you guys think your gender bending is blowing everybody's mind, but just so you know, this picture was taken in 1973.

New Rule, stop sending me junk mail, marked the favor of your reply is requesting. Does this Jane Austen-Stick actually work on people? Oh, look, an epistle has arrived. Perhaps it's an invitation to Lady Astor's Garden Party. Oh, no, it's just an offer on bath and bodyworks trying to sell me an ass-washing mint. New World, someone has to tell artist Amanda Booth, who has taken the slang term pearl necklace very seriously, and says she will actually make a necklace out of your semen if you send it to her in the mail? Thanks, I'm good.

Very real. First, I don't know if my aim is good enough to get it in the envelope. And if you thought a paper cut on your finger was painful. In the wokeness is a worldwide phenomenon category. New rule, someone has to tell the owners of Australia's Club 77, whose new zero-tolerance policy, deploys safety officers to remove people who stare or or talk to you without first getting verbal consent, you are giant pussies who've forgotten what a nightclub is.

Let me remind you, it's a place where men go to try and get laid, and women go to dance with their friends, and pretend they're not trying to get laid. New Rule, get a room. Someone has to remind this couple engaging in oral sex in the upper deck of an Oakland A's game. There are families present.

No dad should be forced to have that embarrassing, in conversation where his kid asks, Dad, what's she doing? And he has to say, honestly, son, I can't remember. And finally, new rule, someone has to tell me why the same film critics who find every movie somehow lacking in woke credentials

are all in on Top Gun Maverick. A two-hour propaganda ad for defense contractors, militaristic jingoism, and bombing foreigners. Every other movie that comes out, all of which are made by liberals, four liberals, with ardent, liberal intent

falls short. If the movie is about poverty, the director didn't grow poor enough to understand it. If it's about being gay, it's not gay enough. Asian, not Asian enough. Female, not enough agency. Race, don't even

try. Sidelining, whitewashing, colorism, white saviourism. No amount of virtue signaling is ever virtuous enough. But somehow, 96% of film critics love top gun like a Catholic priest

loves sleepaway camp. And look, I liked it too. It's fun. It's nostalgic. And Tom Cruise has been such an ageless, reliably entertaining movie star for so long, it sometimes makes me think, Jesus Christ, is there something to Scientology? But if you're a film critic

and you've been making your life's mission to root out the insufficiently liberal in cinema. Did you not notice that Top Gun is a lot about making war-mongering sexy again? The weapons porn. The endless money shots of engines

burning jet fuel. The big dick energy. The aircraft carriers dancing in the sumptuous oily haze all to the manly macho-masculent sounds of Kenny Loggin? Did you know that if the U.S. military

We're a country. Its fuel usage alone would make it the 47th largest emitter of greenhouse gases in the world. Our military is the world's single largest consumer of petroleum. It spews so much smog you can barely see the highway to the danger zone.

Think about that the next time you're watching a flyover, how we're destroying the world to protect it. Top Gun pretends our best fighter is still the FAA. but we've spent 1.5 trillion on the F-35, which has never worked and never will, and yet we still buy it.

It's the Hugo of fighter jets. There is nothing more bloated and corrupt than the Pentagon budget. We conflate... You may. We conflate defense with defense contractors. That's why their budget is $800 billion, more than the next nine countries combined.

In 2003, it was $378 billion. Somehow, we took two wars off the books, but now need to spend twice as much? And on fighting who? In Top Gun, the enemy is just called the enemy. We don't name them. We never see their faces. We don't hear them talk.

Who are they? That's not important. We don't know who we're bombing, and we don't care. We're bombing someone? Awesome. You had me at America? Fuck, yeah. Whose ass we are kicking is on a need to no basis.

God bless America and death to whom it may concern. Sorry, enemy. It's not about you. It's about us. We have Tom Cruise and you don't. This is a dick measuring contest. It doesn't really matter who owns the other dick as long as ours is longer. It's just so ridiculous.

The enemy. It's like having a movie called Godzilla versus None of Your Business. And that's on purpose. The people who made this movie understood that we as a nation right now are just too fractured to even have a common enemy that we can all agree on. So they left it up to our imagination. Who do you hate? Put them in there.

You would think that for a nation like us, it's been around a while and been through some shit together, it wouldn't be this hard to agree on a mutual bad guy? It used to be Russia and still could be, but then Republicans started showing up and I'd rather be a Russian than a Democrat T-shirts and siding with Putin. And liberals, you couldn't have the enemy be an Arab country.

That would be Islamophobic. Can't be an Asian country because that would be racist. Next, you'll be blaming China for COVID. That's right. Not even a pandemic could unite us. COVID couldn't do it. Russia could do it. couldn't do it. China couldn't do it. Not even Amber Heard could do it.

You know, the old cliche has always been that if Martians attacked, it would be the one thing that brings the whole world together. Now, I don't think it would even bring Americans together. The Martians could blow up the White House like an Independence Day and half the country would be cheering in the streets. When they said, take us to your leader, we'd start killing each other over who that is. giant robotic tripods could be vaporizing New Jersey and Republicans would say

this is what happens in Biden's America it never happened when Trump was in office and Democrats would point out how the death lasers were disproportionately affecting low-income communities and people of color and AOC would tweet stop demonizing the Martian X community

Alex Jones would call it a false flag operation and accused the people whose heads were melted off of being crisis actors. Marjorie Taylor Green would criticize the Jews for not using their space lasers on the Martians. And Lindsey Graham would volunteer for the anal probe. All right. That's for a show. I'll be at the Chicago Theater in Chicago tomorrow, September 10th at the Uptown Theater in Kansas City on the 11th. That's the next night.

And at Kleinin's Music Hall in Buffalo, October 9th. I want to thank Scott Galloway, Matt Welch, Winter's. Marcellus. Now go to YouTube and join us on overtime. Thank you, folks. You were great. Catch all new episodes of Real Time with Bill Marr every Friday night at 10 or watch them anytime on HBO on demand. For more information, log on to HBO.com.