Real Time with Bill Maher - Ep. #637: Alexandra Pelosi, Paul Begala, Bret Stephens

Episode Date: October 21, 2023

Bill’s guests are Alexandra Pelosi, Paul Begala, and Bret Stephens (Originally aired 10/20/23) See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Saving those children is how we all go home. From binge all episodes exclusively on Paramount Plus. Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO late-night series, Real Time with Bill Maugh. At the clock. Welcome to the show. Thank you for coming.

All right. Well, please stop. We have a big show, a lot of news to get to. I'm sure you know the big story. Joe Biden, our president, went to Israel this week. Nothing to do with the war. Just wanted a break from the tension in D.C. But I think this was his best.

week as president, Joe Biden. This was his I think so. His finest hour. I mean, and then he gets his ass on a plane. It can't be easy. What? He's not a young man. He remembers when the Dead Sea was alive. He told the wailing wall to keep it down. No, he's not a young man. But, no, he went there to give Israel an aid package. He's like the world's grandpa. He can't visit without

slipping a little money. You know, just... Get some missiles. Don't tell grandma. But then he came home. He made a great speech about Israel. At the end of it, they caught this on camera. Somebody yells clear. And then somebody goes, that was great. Of course, great.

The bar for great in the Biden White House is like if Hunter doesn't wander in with a heart on. Just to put it in perspective. But here's the thing. He wants to give all this money to Ukraine and to Israel. But we have to come from Congress. Congress, and we don't have one. The House of Representatives, I'm sure you've known this, for the last 17 days, remains paralyzed

from the neck up. The Republicans control the House. They want to elect this guy, Jim Jordan. Do you know Jim Jordan? He's from Ohio, former Jim teacher. I call him Jim Jordan. And he's a, he's what you call an insurrectionist, insurrectionist. You know, he's not really.

an indoor Republican, which is troubling to some of them, because he sends women running to the other party. He's an election denier, a conspiracy theorist, and a creep. Or as Matt Gates calls him, Dad?

See, the problem with the Republicans is they have just enough crazy Republicans to keep the sane person from getting the job, and just enough sane to keep the crazy people from getting the job. Ironically, they have a mexist. can standoff in the Republican Party.

Meanwhile, the aid for the poor people struggling in Gaza can't get in because on the Egyptian side, they have blocked that border. It is completely sealed off. Nothing gets in. Little advice? Bring in a family from Venezuela. They'll show you how to get in.

But can we just pause for a moment? I know things are shitty in the world, and they will be for a while. probably forever. But how would this happen three or four years ago? Trump would have gone over to Israel and thrown paper towels at these people. Yeah.

A lot of his henchmen are getting rolled up now. Sidney Powell, one of his lawyers who was denying the election left and right. The Georgia trial, she just got, listen to this. She got probation. What a great system we have. The same punishment for stealing an election as for stealing

sneakers. All right, not a big laugh, but, you know. Point made, point taken, people. I get it. All right. Back to reality for all of us. CVS. Do you drop at CBS?

They are going to stop selling decongestants like NyQuil, because we found out they've been selling them forever, and they never did shit. They don't do anything. It's a complete, it's a complete con job, and they don't do anything for you. Also, ask us about it the new booster. All right, thank you very much.

We've got a great show. We have Paul Begala and Brett Stevens. But first up, she is a filmmaker who's newest documentary, The Insurrectionist Next Door, premiered October 15th, right here on HBO. Our friend Alexandra Pelosi is right for this. Hey, you. Way back.

We go way back. Well, we go way back, and I have to say, you keep getting better. This is my favorite movie you've ever done. Thank you? Yeah, because I think we're on the same theme, which is not everybody's theme on either. but definitely the idea that we have to talk to people

who don't agree with this, who are even Trumpers. I mean, it's called The Insurrectionist Next Door, and I think you're with me on this. I've been preaching this for a long time. You can hate Trump. You can't hate all the people who like them. It's half the country. And you talk to these people.

You can't be, I unfriend you. Right. And they're, I mean, watch this movie, folks. They're remarkably right, likable and relatable. wouldn't you agree? They're not bad people. They may have done some stupid things. They may be a little broken,

they may be a little lost, but they have a different social media feed than you and I have. And that's what makes this country... We're at this moment. One of the people that was in the film called me after. This is completely true.

And he said to me, the gay Obama voter... A few of them said they voted for a bomb. Right. He called me and he said, my husband watched the movie, and he said, I'd never seen that footage of the violence in the tunnel before. Right. We're almost two years from January 6th. And there's an American who has never seen the violence at the Capitol.

It's because they're on a different media feed than we are. They're not watching the same shows that we're watching. Shows. Wasn't he there? Good point. Isn't that why he's on your show? Yeah. Yeah. But I feel like the big takeaway for me was that the Democrats are obsessed with race.

And this is about class, about economics. Most of them were saying, you know, I had to choose between paying the electric bill and the rent, things like that. And they blame the Democrats. That's what I don't understand. They hate your mother who gave them Obama. Where to explain that disconnect? Well, it's the forgotten man. This is FDR after the Great Depression.

This is sort of these people feel left behind. This great American dream that turned out to be a little bit of a hoax or bill of goods for some. They're feeling left behind. And there are a lot of people in this country that just feel left behind. Yeah, a refrain I heard a lot from them was I just want to be heard. They feel like they're not heard. What are the Democrats doing so wrong that, I would say, you know, who is at least trying to solve these economic problems?

I mean, if your issue is income inequality, it's probably the party with Elizabeth Warren, not the party with Jared Kushner that's going to try to do something about this. Why are the Democrats doing so badly? I feel like this is something you know. the answer to. This is what you've dedicated your whole show to. What is it? How would I know? I'm just talking to Jan Sixers.

Well, you just made a home movie. I mean... But I mean, this is the crux of the movie. I mean, all this violence that has been threatened and visited upon your own family. It makes no logical sense. I mean, I understand.

One of the guys in the movie says, you kind of confront him after he's sentenced. And you say, you know, do you feel differently? He goes, What am I supposed to be a liberal now? And I get that. You know, conservative liberal, a lot of this is just a chip in your brain, and it's where you're born.

And it's like, and you're not going to change them. You're not going to make someone who's a conservative or liberal, or you went to a conservative, right? That's true. Okay. But I think it's all about the social media, the way it's put everybody in their own little bubble, and it's sort of brainwashed them to believe that certain people are evil,

and they've just been programmed. to hate. That's what I think it's about. On both sides, wouldn't you say? On both sides. I mean, that's sort of... I mean, look, I'm trying not to get myself canceled tonight or killed, so I'm trying to be on my best behavior. Who's gonna cancel you? Well, you know, anything you say canon will be used against you. You have a lot of trolls. Let's face it. You know what, this week... What do you give a fuck? You make your own movie.

I don't want you to care about that. I don't want you to fear. And you're not a fearful person, or you wouldn't make movies like this. Is this because you think, like, I heard, maybe this is not true, that MSNBC wouldn't have you on? Well, I'm more concerned about, you know, I did sit in ICU with my father. And I know that political violence is real. Yes. And I do, my inbox isn't...

Well, that's the killed part. I get that. Right. I asked about the canceled part. Oh, the canceled part. Yeah. Well, I think that the thing about January 6th that we have to talk about is that on January 6th, one of the leaders of the proud boys sent a message to his brothers on telegram

that said, today we're going to get the normies to burn the city to ash today. So who are the normies? Okay, that's what this movie is about. Who are the normies that we were using? Right. And so that's really what I was trying to focus on. And my whole motto in this was like Abe Lincoln. Charity towards all, malice towards none.

Yeah, and that gets through. My estimation of this, I think there were people there who absolutely went there for the purpose of doing what they did, taking over that capital. Everybody in your movie is not those people. They all say, first of all, they regret that it turned into. It's a scary comment on mom mentality, because they didn't even think, I think they were going to break into the Capitol. They just went for this big event.

It was almost like, remember when Woodstock became a free concert? You know, like, really, at one point, they were trying to make money from this thing, and then they broke the fence out of the, oh, fuck it, it's a whole different thing now. And that's what it became. A lot of them said, I didn't know we were going to break into the Capitol, but I was there, who can resist that? I mean, I got to, you know. So they weren't expecting to do that, the people in your movie, right?

Right, no. I think they got carried away in the heat of the moment. Ronnie Sandlin, one of the main ones that took five and a half years for assaulting an officer, sent me two books from jail. And one was the crowd and one was the true believer. Two books you should read if you want to try and understand the mentality of a Jan Sixer of what happened that day. But I think just in general it's important that we're making a distinction that of the 1,100 people that got arrested so far. Probably 3,000 people went into capital.

Over 1,000 have been arrested. There have been a lot of misdemeanors. Everyone in my film pled guilty to a misdemeanor. There's one felony. But the idea is we can't paint them all with the same brush. And that's what I feel like we've been doing. If you watch MSNBC, they're all domestic terrorists. If you watch Fox News, they're all tourists that just happen to be.

Yeah, sure. But one thing almost all of them do is own it. You try to get them all to turn on Trump, right? You say, don't you feel bad that he kind of led you into this? And I found that was very noble, even though I don't agree with what they did, of course. the fact that they wouldn't shuck responsibility onto somebody else. They were like, no, I made this decision.

He didn't make me do it. I went. I find that like good red state something. Right. And that brings us back to the original point that you were making, which is these are our fellow countrymen that will be voting in the next election

and they're willing to drive across the country to participate in an insurrection because they believe so, so, strongly. And their candidate so far will be back on the ballot unless he ends up in jail. So we have to open the

conversation. The prescription is that everybody at Thanksgiving should sit next to their Trumpy uncle. We all have that Trumpy uncle. You know who he is. And we should open the conversation. We should actually try to listen to each other. Right. I agree. Yes.

So, okay. One of them, final question. One of them says he's going to run for Congress now. right in your movie and he says and you say why and he said I want to make New Hampshire normal again New Hampshire's never been normal when was New Hampshire normal? But what do you think he means by that? What is not normal looking to them

that would be normal? And again these are people they would surprise you they're not all I'm most of the people in the attack were white and a lot of them were former cops and military but in your movie you show I mean there's gay there's Obama voters they're not all white, they're Latina. So, you know, it's not as easy as all that. What is not normal, do you think, to them? What is you going to do to make New Hampshire normal?

Well, I mean, I think that it's clear that this country has taken a really dark turn. I'd say, past the Trump presidency and COVID. I think if we never had COVID, we probably never would have had January 6th. Because people just got sort of, they were stuck at home with a lot of free time, and they went down that wormhole. And I think that it messed up a lot of people's worldview. And I think so he's talking about let's try to bring it back to a pre, like toxic. I mean, don't you think the political landscape in this country is insanely toxic?

Oh, yeah. And I tend to talk about it on the panel. It's a great work. Really, congratulations. You do. Oh, give me it. Say hello to your mother for me. All right, love you too.

Thank you. Let's meet our panel. Here's a columnist for the president. the New York Times, our friend Brett Stevens is back with us, our returning champion. And he is a Democratic strategist and a CNN political contributor, Paul Bagawa. So, obviously, we're going to start off with Israel. As big events overseas often do, they kind of shed light and give clarity to what's going on here at home and how people think. A lot of people in the last week, maybe they saw the show, maybe, I don't know,

but they emailed me or texted me and said, yeah, Bill, what happened? the liberals, you know, just so much siding with people against Israel, which never used to be the liberal position. So the kids, let me talk to the kids for a second, who may not know what a sister-soldier moment is. Because if you're 30 years old, you were still weren't born when that happened. I think that was 92, right? You were in that campaign. I wrote that speech. You wrote that speech? I did. Okay. Sister Soldier was a rapper who was, was, reacting to a racist event and said, maybe we should have a week where we just kill white people. In a press conference, no. In a press conference, not in her art or her music, which is hers to do

whatever she wants. At a press conference, she said, well, why don't we just have a week where we kill white people? Right. Well, and the point is that Clinton stood up and said, no, we, that's right. The fact that this, you know, it passes for bravery, it seems crazy now. But the idea that you stand up against the fringe of your party, against your own party, and this has been called a sister-soldier moment. Obama did it with Reverend Wright. That was a sister-soldier moment.

I feel like this is a great moment for the Democrats to do that. It seems to be how they win elections and do well when they have a moment like this, and I feel like this Israel moment is great time to take back the center. It's absolutely. It's the white, It's the right political strategy, but it's the right political morality. This is not even just an incendiary comment.

The savagery there, and I want to get us too depressed, but it was so monstrous. I've got friends there. I've worked in Israel. 1,400 Israelis were slaughtered by Hamas. Two weeks later, they've still not identified 400 of the bodies. That's how savagely mutilated they were. and they have DNA and they have doctors. So this is the worst thing ever.

And if you can't stand up and say that slaughtering, innocent children, women, civilians, Holocaust survivors is wrong. And there's something wrong with you. And I do think, look, it is the liberal position to be for Israel. It is. Where would you rather be gay? Tel Aviv or Tehran?

Right here in West Hollywood. No, I would want to be gay. Environmentalist. But, you know, Paul, there was almost a second worst moment. A day after the slaughter on October 8th, there was a rally in Times Square. It wasn't pro-Palestinian, it was pro-Hamas. And I went and visited it because I wanted to see it. Looking at the faces at that protest, they were euphoric.

It was like Argentina, after its team had won the World Cup. They were celebrating the slaughter of Jews. And these are people who call themselves, identify themselves as progressives. In fact, they're totalitarians. They think that they're on the side of tolerance. In fact, they are anti-Semites. And this was a moment when I think the world saw that just as there's a real right-wing anti-Semitism that we saw in Charlottesville, there is a real left-wing anti-Semitism.

And it's good. It's, I feel fortunate that you have a president who is calling that out and opposing it the way he is. Yes, I feel like we saw a shift. I feel like for the longest time we've had this view, and it's from both parties, like, oh, it's a tragic situation over there, but both of them have a good case. Well, both of them have a case. I would say Israel has always had a better case. It's different. There's a lot of moral equivalencies thrown around

that are not deserving. And now I feel like Biden, this week, kind of made the case. No. No. No. This is not equivalent. Both sides don't do the same thing. Both sides don't have the same values. And Nikki Haley, in the Republican Party, I feel is the one who is doing this. She is. Of course, Donald Trump attacked the Prime Minister of Israel and the defense minister of Israel and praised Hamas.

He said they were really smart. Hizbollah, but... Oh, he said Hizbollah. Forgive me. The other terrorist group. Another nice bunch of guys, right? But I will say, President Biden's press secretary slapped this down on behalf of the president. She said, we believe they are wrong, these comments, they're wrong, we believe they're repugnant, we believe they're disgraceful,

there are not two sides here, says the president's spokeswoman, Korean-Jeampier. She's right. And that is a far cry from very fine people on both sides, like Trump said after Charlottesville, where the neo-Nazis were marching. But I want to ask about this Nikki Haley thing, because she's having a moment. Now, as we know, the Republicans, they do like to flirt during primary season, right, so you never know. One goes, but I feel like something is coalescing around her being the anti-Trump, like if there is ever a chance for an indoor Republican, a paper-trained Republican, to get back in the game.

And as a... Right, and it would be wonderful to see Chris Christie, Mike Pence, and every non-serious contender just drop out and endorse her right away. That only gets her in the polls to about 41 percent. But at least it's not Gulliver against the Lilliputians. I think she's the only credible Republican that anyone probably in this room could stomach as the President of the United States. Okay, so let me ask you this as a strategist. I feel like this should get a lot more press.

There is one group of politicians, they're small, who are very popular in this country. Republican governors in blue states. That should tell you something about the thirst in this country for centrism. Phil Scott, never heard of him. Which is good, because he probably doesn't do stupid shit. He's the Republican governor in Vermont, very blue state. 76% approval rating. These numbers you don't see?

And is 76? Biden's at 37. Charlie Baker. I thought he was a jazz musician. Don't know who that is. Republican of Massachusetts, 68% approval. Larry Hogan.

I have heard of him because he made noises about running for president. Maryland, very blue state. 77% approval. I would add, not what he was governor, but Bloomberg in New York. Was a Republican in New York City?

Hello? Very Democratic. Okay. Chris Christie was pretty popular before the bridge. Sununu in New Hampshire. I don't know what his numbers are. He's pretty popular.

Okay, so if this is the formula, if you can be in a blue state, but you're a Republican, and you're very popular, even among the Democrats. Why don't the Democrats do it? Andy Bashir, in Kentucky, is a Democratic governor. He's going to be reelected, I think, in a few weeks. Yeah.

Kentucky is hard. Josh Shapiro in Pennsylvania. And I think it says something, Josh Shapiro in Pennsylvania. Oh, right, yes. You know, it says something that the algorithms in this country, whether they're on social media or in primaries, are all built for extremism and outrage. Yes.

And the appetite in this country is for something. sane and towards the center. And Republicans or Democrats who can move to the center are actually going to win elections. That's the way to win. Laura Kelly is the governor of Kansas. She's a Democrat. She's reelected. She's in her second term in a state where, like, they hunt Democrats down with dogs.

Yet she wins. And her side, the pro-choice side, went a landslide referendum on the pro-choice question in her state because of that very reason. The Kansasans believed that the previous Republican governor had gone too extreme. They wanted somebody moderate and centrist. She is. And so it does work. I like red state Democrats

and blue state Republicans. It's a good way to actually learn how to run the whole country. So can Nikki Haley do this on a national level? That's my question. Yeah, but the problem is that she has to get over the cult of Trump. And the Republican Party used to be a party that wanted to win elections. And now it's a cult that wants to glorify its Messiah,

whether he wins or loses. So that's the essence of the problem. If you look at the data, if you look at the data, Nikki Haley is their strongest candidate against Biden. Right? Biden and Trump are largely tied. Nikki is leading Biden by like seven, nine in some polls, right? So she's clearly their strongest candidate. Here's the real world problem. If somehow she beats Trump, do you really think Trump is going to do like Hillary did for Barack?

And just like, let's link arms and march off together one team. He will burn it down. He tried to burn the capital when he lost the last election. he will destroy her and his party if somehow he does not get the nomination because he's a narcissist. It's a cult. So poor Nikki, even if she wins,

Trump will take her down. Well, what can we do to help? Reelect Biden. Well, I think that's... It's the only option. That's part of the problem because Nikki Haley is ahead of President Biden, lots of polls, but here's what's terrifying.

I just looked at recent polls. Trump is ahead of... Biden in Arizona. He's ahead of Biden in Georgia. He's ahead of Biden in other states that Biden won, which allowed him to take the election. So a lot of Republicans are saying, even with Trump, we can win against such a weak incumbent. And I just wrote a column, this was Biden's finest hour. I have nothing but respect for genuine statesmanship at this moment. But my fear is that the Democrats simply haven't come to grips with the fact that the president is a weak candidate who appears to many Americans

for all of his virtues to be feeble. I've made the same case. I think he can... This week showed, what I said three weeks ago, he can do the job. I have no doubt he can do the job. I just don't think he can win the job. Perception becomes reality.

They think he's too old. I saw him on 60 minutes. I thought what he said was great, but he was falling asleep. He did. Who's this lady in Kansas? Laura Kelly. Can we run her?

Kansas. There's a guy in Pennsylvania? Josh Shapiro. Let's run him. Gretchen Whitner. Who's the other guy in... I will say... The sheer in Kentucky.

Bishir. There's lots of Democrats. Sold. Bishir. Bishir Kelly. Biden... Biden just went into a war zone in the most dangerous and difficult thing.

Pulled it off perfectly. Came home, gave the greatest speech of his life. I actually think he can go to Michigan and talk to the machinists. If you can go to Israel and negotiate... Yeah, but he can. I think Democrats are caught in his spine where they're thinking, well, we can't have a primary challenge to Biden

because every time that's happened to an incumbent president before they've lost, it happened to George H.W. Bush, it happened to Jimmy Carter. It happens to Lyndon Johnson and so on. So that's the thinking. So the real question is, what can you, Paul, do to quietly persuade the president to march into history with his honor intact? We will praise him.

We will build statues for him. and move on. Right. Your old boyfriend, James Carville told me, he said... We are partners, but not in that sense. Okay.

I use that word. He told me any Democrat, any centrist Democrat, who's not old, gets 55% of the vote, which is a landslide in this country. And if you really want to shit your pants,

Emerson poll today, Trump is winning among under 30. Yeah, that's what I do. under 30. And yet, the polls are terrible for Biden. Every time we actually run a race to the Democrat wins, there have been 27

special elections. Specials, where usually turnouts low and it hurts Democrats, Democrats have won 21 of them. Here's a reality. I think a lot of Democrats, including those who really admire Biden, have to confront, which is, if you ask many Americans, were you better off in 2019

the last full year of the Trump presidency before COVID, or today, they're going to say 2019, because they're groceries didn't cost as much money, their gas didn't cost as much money, mortgage rates weren't as high. That's just a political fact that Democrats are not getting their arms around. And I hear them say, well, inflation is coming down, for example. Yes, but it went way up and now it's tapering.

It's not actually falling. That's a real problem. Well, and also, and I think I read this in your column, it's chicken, gas, meat, something else that, eggs. Yeah. Like the things that people actually buy every week, those didn't come down. Not to mention rent.

The rent is too damn high. The rent is too damn high, exactly. All right, let me switch gears for a second. This story caught my eye. Two weeks ago, a 28-year-old teacher in Missouri was fired. There she is, because she was on OnlyFans. And speaking of the economy and how bad it is, and inflation.

You know that with the cost of living and inflation and all this stuff, this is not the first teacher who's going to get caught being on only fans. I mean, people have to make ends meet. So we put together a few tips for how you know your teacher is on only fans. For example, she's wearing the same schoolgirl outfit as the students.

Storytime always involves a pizza delivery guy. When you ask for a hall pass, she gives you permission and have sex with another teacher. The class pet is a gerbil, and she takes it home every night. These are tips. I'm just giving you... When you ask for extra credit, she tells you it's $6.99 a month.

When you ask her what you're going to learn in history, she says, how to delete it. The guest speaker on Career Day is Bella Thorne. And on parent-teacher night, All the dads say, don't I know you from somewhere? One more thing about the Republic. I ask about this Jim Jordan guy, because he, okay, I know. I know.

People should not normalize this guy. There he is. The guy who will not wear a jacket. A former Jim teacher. Okay. So was the most prolific conspiracy election spreader on Fox News after the election and before the January 6 events?

January 6th report says he was a significant player. Player. You're a player there, Jim Jordan. Urged Mike Pence to do the wrong thing and not tabulate the votes as his job required. Led the floor vote of the 147 Republicans. 147 Republicans voted basically not to certify that election. Now almost 200 voted for him, even though he didn't get the job.

So the problem is getting worse in Congress. Now 200 Republicans are voting for the guy who most of any of them does not believe in election. Sure. We had a Jim Jordan problem. Now we have a Jim Jones problem, which is the entire party drank the Kool-Aid. All right. So here's the positive side of this, I think. I was learning this from Alexander in her movie. 1,100 people have been arrested from the January 6th rights. 300 went to jail. Today we found out Kenneth Cheesboro. Anyway, he was the chief architect of Trump's

steal the election, the fake elector plan. He pled guilty in Georgia, in the Georgia case. Sidney Powell, I mentioned in the monologue. Sidney Powell actually had a quote like, no rational person would ever believe what I said was true about what she had said in court. I mean, that's not the exact quote, but it's very close. Other cronies who have found guilty or pled guilty,

guilty, three Trump lawyers, the CFO of his company, his chief campaign strategist, his campaign chairman, the deputy campaign chairman, his national security advisor. Yeah, it's all falling apart, but somehow we are still putting the bad guys away. It doesn't get a lot of press, but this is a lot of people who paid the price for doing the wrong thing. Maybe we're not completely done yet. Those prosecutors, those judges, those clerks all have to have security. Because Mr. Trump is calling down violence on that.

I thought Alexander was really powerful on this. They're calling down violence on people who are just doing their jobs. And that's appalling. But they are doing their jobs, and justice is being done. I did talk to friends of mine who are lawyers in Georgia, real lawyers. And this is not good for Mr. Well, I am a lawyer, but I'm not going to play one on TV. I would not hire me if I needed a lawyer. But this is terrible for Donald Trump.

Well, hang on a second. I mean, there is this reality, again, that it's horrible to think about, but with every successive prosecution, his numbers have gone up. And that's a comment on the country. I think the guy belongs in jail. But every time the justice train moves, His supporters are digging in their heels. And for a lot of people who are kind of in the middle,

it suddenly turns into kind of a white noise because it's so hard to keep count of all of the charges. Ultimately, the only way I think he slay this beast is in an election or in the primary. But it's also very much possible, I think, and I don't think they'll ever send him to jail, but I think he could get house arrest at Mar-a-Lago and be the president at the same time.

And run this world from an orange jumpsuit. Well, yeah. No, not at all. But he's not an unrealistic scenario. And he's already got all the classified documents there. So. Right. He wouldn't have to move everything.

He wouldn't even have to leave his bathroom. Right. Exactly. Because you don't ever really convince anybody. I mean, that's the case. Now, I don't want to get you in trouble with the people who write your paycheck. But the New York Times is the story somewhat this week because they put out a headline. Israeli strike the horrible.

happening at the hospital, the hospital in Gaza was blown up. I'm not quite sure why this is quite the scandal they think it is, but I agree. It's a terrible headline. Israeli strike kills hundreds in hospital. Palestinian say. That was the headline. I feel like putting Palestinian say at the end of it saves their bacon a little bit.

It's kind of, I mean, you could interpret that like Palestinians say. But I agree. It's terrible to just put the first. part, Israeli strike kills hundreds when we know now it did not? So without trying to get myself in trouble with my employer, I have been covering this story for 25 years. I was editor-in-chief of the Jerusalem Post. The media has a real problem there, because when they cover Palestinian issues, they are covering an authoritarian society where people live in fear of telling the truth. So everything that comes out of it has to be checked,

double-checked, and triple-checked. When you're talking about Palestinians in this case, you're actually talking about Hamas. Every time health authorities are mentioned in Gaza, it's not like the FDA showed up or something, or the Red Cross. It's Hamas. And this goes to the basic difference between what we have on the Israeli side and the Palestinian side, on the Israeli side, for all of its problems, it is an open democratic society. Journalists do not live in fear that the government is going to hurt them for what they report. When you're writing about the Palestinians, they are living in fear. So think of it, it's not the same, but to some extent, it's like reporting from North Korea or South Korea. Everything that comes out of North Korea has to be

treated with a major, massive amount of skepticism. And things that are coming out of Israel are likely true because it kind of resembles the society we have here. Right. And no disrespect to your paper, but when I saw all the people who were so exercised about this, I just wanted to say, do you really think it matters? Do you think anybody gives a damn that the New York Times said this or it'll change anything? I saw this poll. Only 32% of American kids, 18 to 29, think the attack deliberately targeted civilians.

they went house to house. You can go anywhere on the internet and just find the answer you want. It's like a Yakov-Schmernov line. You know, story doesn't find you. You find story. Well, again, I think this Alexander made a really important point.

Too many Americans are prisoners of the algorithm of their social media feed. They think they're going online to learn things. They're not. They're going online to be poisoned by these algorithms that are shoving bullshit into them for money. They are.

Confirmation bias is a big part of it. The algorithm figures out what triggers your amygdala. You know, it's also the case. All of these kids have been raised on one value, which is tolerance. They've gotten it from grade school all the way through college. And here we have the single greatest massacre of Jews since the Holocaust,

and it's like, oh, it's a complicated situation in the Middle East. Actually, in this case, it's not a complicated situation in the Middle East. people were slaughtered and the tolerance brigades couldn't bring themselves to say hardly a word about it before equivocating or supporting the other. So this coming war that Israel is going to have, they say they have to wipe out Hamas now. What does it look like?

And what should it look like? Well, what it looks like, I don't know, because tomorrow it could be a war with Hezbollah. It could be a war with Iran. What it should look like is I don't think any Israeli government, leaving Netanyahu's side, any Israeli government after what happened, can leave anyone in any position of authority

or five levels down in Hamas standing. And by way, that's not just the Israeli interest, it's the Palestinian interest, because there is no way any rational Israeli leader would allow a Palestinian state to come into being if it's going to be another Hamas stop. Why would any Israeli... Any Israeli says and say,

oh, if you liked what happened in Gaza, Let's try that on the West Bank. So part of getting rid of Hamas is actually making it possible to have a Palestinian state. But it's getting rid of Hamas, I don't get it. I don't know how you do that. I don't know how you get rid of... I can tell you. Remember ISIS? 10 years ago, all we could talk about was ISIS.

Where is ISIS? It's in a lot of places around the world. It's in a few isolated pockets, but you don't find it in Mosul, you don't find it in northern Syria. It was wiped out. And Hamas is not so different. You can call yourself Hezbollah. You can call yourself Hamas. You can call yourself ISIS. You can call yourself Al-Qaeda. You can call yourself the Taliban. It's the same assholes. Okay. So they change the names and they change the signs. But, Bill, you can call yourself the Bolsheviks. You can call yourself the Nazis. You can call yourself Al-Qaeda and ISIS. I'm glad we got rid of them. And if another generation has to do the job over again, I'll leave that to the next generation. Our job is to get rid of these guys. How? So that's a ground war.

So that's you're sending troops into this territory that is incredibly hostile. Look, I think it's foolish for me to sit here and offer tactical military advice to the Israelis. They've thought about this. This is what they want you to do. They thought about this for a long, well, maybe. But the other thing they don't want is to get wiped out by an Israeli army. It's a trap. It's, they, I feel like they did.

this on purpose, just like 9-11 was a trap, to get us to overreact, and then you draw them in, and then they attack from the north with Hezbollah. Now you're fighting a true front war. Israel's not big enough. They don't have enough people to fight a war like that. Israel has fought two and three and four-front wars in the past. They can fight one again. Yeah, I guess it could. I do think that President Biden has been pitch-perfect. He's been completely supportive of Israel and has said to them, we went through 9-11 and we freaked. He voted for the Iraq war, which is a colossal mistake. It was a debacle that he voted for. But he has learned from that, and he wants Israel to learn from his mistakes.

You know, this is why he should lean into the age thing. With age comes experience, with experience, comes wisdom, and wisdom matters in this job. He should lean into it. He can do the job? But not too much. But can Israel do the job? We never thought this would happen in Israel. I mean, did you see that 60 Minutes piece about the grandfather who comes to save his kid? I know the family. You know that family?

I know that family. Wow. Okay, so if you didn't see it, it's a millennial family, and they're trapped. Nobody's coming for help. Hundreds of Hamas fighters got into the country. They're going house-to-house-killing people. Calls his grandfather. You know, okay, boomer.

Yeah, we're the terrible generation, but this granddad gets in his car, fucking kills a bunch of terrorists, and saves the kids. Yeah, it's like having Liam Lee and his dad. But, like, he gets to these checkpoints, and, The Israeli guards at the checkpoint, they're not going to help. They won't let him in. When did the Israeli defense force become the Evaldi Police Department? Listen, in the life of every country, countries take punches in the face and get knocked down on their ass.

It has happened to us. It has happened to other great countries. And the mark of great countries is they stand up and they fight back. And I think the Israelis will do it again. They definitely have to do that. I just don't know about taking over the whole country of Gaza. I do think it's remarkable that they haven't invaded yet. Well, they're getting ready.

It takes planning. It does. But the righteous anger is, for me as an American, it's actually unimaginable how outraged Israelis are. And the discipline they're showing is pretty impressive. Yeah, 1,300 Israelis is the equivalent of about 48,000 Americans. Their discipline is always impressive. And they never get any credit for it. They're the only country in the world that is asked to restrain.

Yes. All right. My final question, Biden, in the 60 Minutes piece, he was asked a question about this, and he said, can we do it? Can we afford this? And he went, were the United States, for God's sakes. The United States, are we still? Yeah. Easily. We still can handle all this. Yeah. And you know something, what I think shows, we were talking about all those centrist governors. There is a heart in this country that has not completely lost its effing mind. And I think it shows when you ask Americans, whose side are you on,

these Israelis or the Palestinians, overwhelming majorities of Americans are answering the right way. We just haven't figured out how to get rid of these shackles, which is social media, a crazy primary system, and a crazy religious cult that is the Republican Party. But every 50 years or so, America is in the dumps. I'd say in the mid-1970s, through Watergate and Vietnam, we were there. We have pulled ourselves back up, and it's nice to have a president. It's great to have a president who has it within him to summon what someone said were the better angels of our names.

Amen. Let's end it there. Thank you, guys. All right. Time for new rules. Okay, new rule. Now that they're selling a human dog bed, I say, for... I say if you're going to sleep in it, you also have to shit in the yard and drink out of the toilet. Look, I get adults who don't want to grow up, but this move doesn't say sleeping on the floor has never been so comfortable. It says, Mommy drinks tequila while the kids are at school. New Rule, those ads trying to convince us

that AI is going to be awesome have to sound less like they were produced by AI to keep us from resisting. Together, we can leverage the power of AI to transform your business. Hey, fuck you, Hal. My business is fine. AI can collate data, complete repetitive tasks, and fire off emails to your staff.

Yeah, I'm sure it can. You know who else can do that? Janice. New Rule, Facebook has to replace the phrase, it's complicated, with a tiny photo of Jada Pinkett Smith. New Rule, someone must explain to Minnesota's Terry Martin, who's just confessed that he's the one who stole Dorothy's ruby slippers from the Judy Garland Museum back in 2005, that there are more straightforward ways to come out as gay. Wait, no, there's not. You're right. Well, play, it, sir. New Rule, let October be October.

Stop calling it rock tober, gloctober, socktober, Wachtober, mocked over, cocktober. I say we call this month. Well, that's Howard Stearns. I say we call this the one thing it has become. Hot as fucktober. Maybe that's only on the world. West Coast. I don't know. It's very hot out here.

And finally, Numeril as an Ivy League graduate who knows the value of a liberal education, I have one piece of advice for the youth of America. Don't go to college. And if you absolutely have to go, don't go to an elite college, because as recent events have shown, it just makes you stupid. There are few, if any, positives to come out of what happened in Israel, but one of them is opening America's eyes to how higher education has become indoctrination into a stew of bad ideas, among them the simplistic

notion that the world is a binary place where everyone is either an oppressor or oppressed. In the case of Israel, oppressors being babies and bobbas, the same students who will tell you that words are violence and silence is violence were very supportive when Hamas terrorists went on a rape and murder rampage worthy of the Vikings. They knew where to point the fingers at the murdered, and then it was off to ethics class. Now, I recognize that a certain amount of foolishness is expected of college kids, but mixing Yeagermeister and tomato juice isn't the same as siding with terrorists. 34 student groups at Harvard signed a letter that said the apartheid regime is the only one to blame,

proving they don't know what constitutes aparthe. They don't know much of anything, actually. But it doesn't deter them from having an opinion. They've convinced themselves Israel is the most repressive regime in history because they have no knowledge of history. or even a desire to know it. And actual history doesn't come up in their intersectionality of politics

and gender queer identities class. Now, to be fair, at least five of the student groups have rescinded what they signed, saying they didn't read the letter closely. And they promised not to make that mistake again after they graduate and start running the world. But I actually believe them that they didn't read the letter closely.

I think they scanned it, said it was blaming Israel, and went back to surfing. TikTok. Because college life today is a day spa combined with a North Korean re-education camp to daycare center with a meal plan, except that toddlers can fire the adults. The fact that college presidents who usually love to speak out about anything couldn't find their voice to condemn the worst attacks since the Holocaust, there's a lot about who really controls colleges and why, if ignorance is a disease, Harvard Yard is the Wuhan. wet market. Not that

colleges didn't always have professors with radical beliefs. I know. I used to sell them weed. But the reason why despising Israel became pretty much a requirement of the American left is colleges. Elite colleges. The mouth of the river. From which

this, an all manner of radical left, illiberal, yes, illiberal nonsense flows. Supporting all black, that is, segregated dorms, segregated graduation, sermons. and orientation programs, which occur on hundreds of campuses, is illiberal. So was the racism against Asian applicants and chasing speakers off of campus.

When the First Amendment Watchdog Group Foundation for Individual Rights and Expression began ranking colleges based on their commitment to free speech and inquiry, Harvard came in dead last. There was only one set of acceptable opinions on campus, and it's policed hard. The old dorm room bull sessions? It's less risky shooting the shit in Scientology. John Stuart Mill wrote that he who knows only his own side of the case knows little. To which today's college students respond, he and his are cispronounds that commit violence against queer and bipoc community,

so who cares what John Stewart Mill says, whoever he is? Oh, and Thomas Jefferson was a slaveholder. He might have done some other stuff, but it wasn't on the test. Elite schools should no longer be called elite, just say expensive. Which may be why they breed a particular brand of detestable graduate, a personality type that does not emerge from Chico State. Sure, they occasionally turn out someone decent, but for every Barack Obama, there are two Josh Hawleys.

The former debate team jerk off who had no friends that no one likes today, and yet somehow manages to win a statewide popularity contest. Box-checking brown-noseders who don't actually believe anything except that tricking stupid people's fun. That's why it is so repulsive when they pander for votes from Mama June and the Flat Earthers because they just hate elitists. Yeah, look at these truck-driving he-men from the tool aisle at Sam's Club. Vivek Rameswamy, Yale and Harvard.

Ron DeSantis, Yale and Harvard. Ted Cruz, Princeton, and Harvard. Pat Robertson, George W. Bush, Tom Cotton, Mike Pompeo, Bill O'Reilly, Steve Bannon, Jared Kushner, most of the Supreme Court. There's a special magic that links Harvard types and being utterly face-punchable. And some, I assume, are good people.

And while it may seem like these men, men like these and the kids who signed the Harvard letter have nothing in common? Actually, I think they do. They all came out of an asshole factory. So, to the older folks, I say, college today is not the college you remember. And to the younger people, I say, don't. Don't do it. You don't need four years in a lifetime of crippling debt

to learn to hate America when you can just watch five minutes of selling sunset. If your parents have 300 grand, they absolutely need to flush down the toilet, put it in crypto, or buy a van, go to a national park and feed yourself to a bear. Because any legacy dipshit can go to Penn. But a bear, that's hard to get into. All right, that's our show. Next week, former governor Andrew Cuomo is here with Melissa DeRosa, Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlova.

at the MGM Grand in Vegas, November 3rd and 4th, at the San Diego Civic Theater January 27th. I want to thank Brett Stevens, Paul de Gala, Alexandria Pelosi, and now go watch Overtime on YouTube channel, the YouTube channel. Thank you. Good night. Catch all new episodes of Real Time with Bill Maher every Friday night at 10, or watch them anytime on HBO on demand. For more information, log on to HBO.com.