Real Time with Bill Maher - Ep. #673: Fran Lebowitz, Yuval Noah Harari, Ian Bremmer

Episode Date: September 28, 2024

Bill’s guests are Fran Lebowitz, Yuval Noah Harari, Ian Bremmer (Originally aired 9/27/24) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's something else here now. Something new. From exclusively on Paramount Plus. It's the series Stephen King calls Scary as Hell. Everything here is impossible, but it's also real. Sci-fi vision calls it the best show streaming right now. We're running out of time and we still don't know the rules. Don't miss what the movie blog calls something you need to watch.

Saving those children is how we all go home. From binge all episodes exclusively on Paramount Plus. Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO late month series, Real Time with Bill Maugh. Start the clock. Thank you so much. We've got a great show for you.

I know. Thank you very much. I know. I know it's got an exciting time. It's a little more than a month before the election. The vice presidential debate is Tuesday. You excited about that? Really?

Okay. do you. I'm not it's... But this I thought was kind of juicy. J.D. Vance, he's in the debate, he's the vice presidential candidate. They got his text messages now. You know, before he was on the Trump team, he compared Trump to Hitler.

Said Trump was like Hitler. Hitler. Turns out, in his private text messages, as late as 2020, he was saying Trump is a failure as president, but he says he has a simple explanation for why the private messages are different than the public pronounce.

He's a huge liar. No, this is what he says. This is his conversion theory. He's what he says is that he was won over by Trump's performance in office. Really? You say he's Hitler, but then maybe not because of tariffs? Okay.

But, you know, Trump, I say this every week, but it's truer every week. He's just losing it more. I mean, whether it's not. a dog's eating the... You know, last week it was, I could have been bigger than Elvis if I had a guitar.

I mean... This week, he says, China ruined the furniture industry. The furniture industry, China. He said, I'm not making that. He said, chairs used to last. But now they're in the last a couple of months. Yes.

That's why when Donald Trump sits on a chair, it breaks. China. Oh, man. China. The Chinese, they also make pants that split. Makeup that runs and ramps that make you fall down. God damn, Chinese. But, you know, he knows he's losing, and he's losing to a woman.

So he's now going after the woman. He said this week, women, if he gets reelected, women will be, this is a quote, will be happy, healthy, confident, and free. you're promising women will be confident. Are you a dictator or a deodorant? He also said he will be the greatest protector of women. In fact, he cares about women so much that when he had his beauty pageants, he used to walk into the dressing room to check up on them.

He's also obsessed with the idea that Kamala Harris worked at McDonald's. Or rather that she didn't. She says that she did when she was young, like zillions of people do. And he says, no, there's no evidence of it. You cannot prove you worked at McDonald's. First of all, who pads their resume by saying they worked at McDonald's? I think Kamala Harris is playing this one just right. Now, one of her big issues that she's vulnerable on is the border.

So she went to the border this week. She went to the border at Arizona. She used to be the border czar. She visited there. So interesting, along with working at McDonald's, Now, that's two places she worked that have a convenient drive-thru. Also, working to shore up her vulnerabilities. They've been a lot of press runners.

She doesn't do interviews. She doesn't answer her. So she sat for an interview. She said, okay, I will answer your hardball questions. So she went on MSNBC. Okay. All right. I wasn't, you know, there were not hardball questions,

but I still expected not them to be rubbing her feet. And, uh, and, uh, and of course, this is the week. every year, the big event goes on in New York. The UN meets in this week every year in September. And, you know, I mean, you could say a lot of bad things about the UN, and I probably will tonight.

There is something stirring. About 133 different nations, all coming together, different governments, different economies, different goals, and they all have one thing in common. They've all bribed Eric Adam. I mean, I like Eric. He's been on the show, the mayor of New York.

I don't understand politicians. I really don't. I mean, he let Turkey, the country of Turkey, bribe him? For what? For like $10,000 with the bullshit. Upgrades and flights and hotel rooms? And what did they get for it? Oh, the fire department inspection.

He called that off on their consul. I mean, this is so petty. And also, it was going to get caught. There were other signs Turkey was in the fix here. I mean, he renamed the Lincoln Tunnel after Dr. Oz. Come on. Okay. And now to our friends in Florida, Hurricane Helene.

Oh, I know. We are thinking about you, our friends down there, because, oh, wow, that was a bad hurricane. And if you're currently in the bushes outside Mar-a-Lago, please, shelter in place. The Secret Service will eventually find you. But, I mean, every time we have a hurricane. I see the same thing on the news. Every news has the one guy who they interview, who won't go,

won't evacuate because God has a plan. Yes, his plan, he's going to drown you. Have you read the Bible? It's a lot of people drowning. All right, we've got a great show. Ian Bremmer and Yuval Noah Harari are here. The first-up, T, is one of the greatest wits America has ever produced,

currently touring an evening with Fran Lippewitch. You can catch her next on November 13th in Nashville, Tennessee, and November 14th in Richardson, Texas. is Fran Lieberwitz. How are you? How are you? I'm seeing you, as always.

Fran? Yeah. Great to see you. Thank you for coming by for your annual check-in here at real-time. We need you so badly that people love you. They want you. They need your wisdom.

You have wisdom. And you're hoarding your wisdom. So give this your wisdom tonight. What is on your mind, mostly the election? guest, Catherine Kamala Harris. Yeah, the election is on my mind. The state of the world is on my

mind. Eric Adams is on my mind. Well, as in New York, what do you think about that? I mean, I'm so amazed. Not that politicians can be bribed, but that they can be bribed so cheaply. He's not, you know, he's not a genius, Eric Adams. So, I mean, when I saw, I mean,

I didn't even vote for him, okay? So, like, it didn't take much to see that he was at best of work. Okay? So I don't vote for me even in general. I voted for the socialist candidate, even though I'm not a socialist. I don't remember her name. I wouldn't recognize you on a crowd of one. I did not want to be one millionth responsible for Eric Adams. So this should not come as a revelation. I mean, the specifics, I agree with you. I mean, when I saw all the specific stuff, like especially the plane tickets, where he asked for like three more

business class tickets and two more business class tickets, and I thought, Eric, you're stealing first class. Like, why business class? But for the pettiness of the crimes, don't you think they're coming down on him a little hard? No, he's the mayor of New York. No. Yeah, I know. I'm not saying, I'm not excusing it. But, I mean, I've seen politicians do slightly worse things. Right. Like, like try to overthrow the government of the United States. I mean, right. It's just, it's, I don't know if it rises to this level of umbrage by everybody.

so shocked and horrified, and this is the worst thing that ever happened. It's a little over the top. Well, I don't think anyone thinks it's the worst thing has ever happened. It's just that I don't understand why they didn't find this stuff out before, which it was very clear. It's not like, you know, before this, he was like Abraham Lincoln, and then he turned out to be this. I mean, this was a very apparent thing.

He didn't even apparently live in New York. There's one... As far as I can tell, there's one rule for being the mayor. You have to live in New York City. Okay. He said he'd live. He lived in an apartment in Brooklyn, but he also had a condominium in Fort Lee, New Jersey, which he said, first he said he had nothing to do with, his girlfriend lived in it,

then he said, well, yes, but his primary residence was in Brooklyn. And I'm thinking, you're a public servant. What do you mean your primary residence? You know, who are you, Barry Diller? How could you have two residences? You know, I mean, so he didn't even live in New York, okay? He also ran partially on the fact that he was a vegan, which I cannot think of anything less important than what they eat.

Then finally, a bunch of reporters went into his apartment in Brooklyn, and one of them opened the refrigerator, which is why you don't want a bunch of reporters in your apartment. And there was bacon in the refrigerator. Now, I'm no expert on veganism. But I'm thinking bacon, probably not. Then he said it was his son's bacon, and I think it's because it was his son's apartment.

I see. All right. So, no, I don't think they're coming down to art. You are much more tolerant than I am, Bill. Yes. Okay. Oh, we know that. And you also don't live in New York.

So you don't care for the mayor is, but I do. Right. Yeah. No, I don't. All right, well, let's move on. Now, I don't know if you see this program often, probably not, because it involves electricity. Right.

But I've been obsessed all year with this idea that they had four years to get Trump five different trials, and somehow they let it go away. Like he's not really going to get it. The trials are not going to be apparently involved in this election at all. And the Democrats had time to do this, time, four years.

And they had the power. No. They were in office, and the attorney general was Merrick Garland. And yet it all went away. And now the Supreme Court has ruled that he's not liable for any of this. Right, because what he had was Supreme Court.

Okay. So, you know, the Democrats had, like, elected people. The Supreme Court is completely his. You know, I mean, it's so disgraceful, this court that it shouldn't even be allowed to be called the Supreme Court. You know, I mean, it's an insult to Motown to call it Supreme Court. It's not even a court. It's only a court in the sense that the Court of Louis XVIth was a court.

You know? I mean, basically, it's a harem. Okay? It's a harem. It's Trump's harem. So I always feel sorry for the three real judges on the court. You know, I know a lot of people have jobs, not me, not you. And you have to go to work every day, and there are people you don't like at work. But can you imagine having to go to work every day, Alito? You have to go to work with Alito with Kavanaugh.

You know, I mean, it must be horrible. So what Biden should do, not that you were asked, but when they passed that law, the Supreme Court, passed that ruling, you know, where they said, you're not the president, you're the king, which is what that ruling is. You can do whatever you want. You can never be held responsible. I thought, you know, Biden's still the president.

No one seems to notice. But Biden should dissolve the Supreme Court. Dissolve the Supreme Court? I'm the president. I'm the king now, like you said, and go home. Okay. Good to see. You're centrist.

But you had jury duty, Did you not? I'm sorry? Jury duty? Not recently. I have been called for jury duty numbers of times, but I have not been called recently. And I always managed to get off. There were two times I was about to go on.

Like, you know, I don't know how they do it here. But they call three million people. You know, you sit there, like, for days. Then they call, like, a hundred people. Then you go into the court. And then they pick literally out of a hat. Like you're in. like third grade and you're picking like who's going to be the head of the school picnic.

And they pick 20 people. No, I believe it. Yeah. Yes. And so I was one of those 20 people. And it was a buy and bust. It was before marijuana was legal. And the defendant was in the courtroom. They're ready to go. The second they picked the jury. And they asked me a question, you know, can you be fair or whatever? And I said, no. What are you got on? Why not? I said, because I think drugs should be legal.

So this enraged the judge. I said, look, I am this kind of thing, this buy and bust thing. This is entrapment. I said, this cop who's sitting in the courtroom in his cop suit, I said, he goes into the park, dressed as a drug dealer or drug buyer, buys the drugs, and then arrest the guy. Then he comes in here, dressed as a cop. You know, if you were going to make this illegal,

then he should dress as a cop and run after him. But you got off. I eventually got off, yes. After being yelled at by the prosecutor. Speaking of getting off, what did you think of the puff daddy situation? Well, I mean, I'm only asked because sex parties, I mean, it's sort of like a trend now. And I'm wondering, I know you were in New York in the 70s when it was a very bohemian kind of place, and you were part of the beautiful people crowd, downtown and so forth, remember Plato's retreat?

That was a straight place, Bill. Plato's retreat? Yeah. But it was a sex party, wasn't it? Yeah, for straight people. Okay. Who apparently needed a special club. Even though they had the whole rest of the world, they needed this club.

But what do you think of the fact that this is sort of a new trend in America? Because we've heard about the COVID czar in New York. The COVID czar? You didn't see that? I don't know what you mean. Sorry. The COVID czar in New York went to sex parties when he was telling everybody else to shelter inside. And Matt Gates went to sex parties.

I mean, I've seen sex parties in the headlines. I know. You know, I don't think this only thing that Puffy's being, I don't know. I haven't followed exactly, you know, the thing about Puffy. But what really stuck in my mind was the 1,000 bottles of baby oil. I mean, like, I know they have other evidence. I mean, they do have a video of him kicking a woman in the head. Right.

Okay? So even if you're in favor of the 1,000 bottles or maybe the kicking of a woman in the head, and that's so good. But I feel like that... I've been asking this question for seven years since 2017 when the Me Too thing happened. Why?

Why not the music industry? I mean, they went after NPR pretty bad. That's true. They got like four or five guys from NPR. Right. Like old guys. Right. Who, like, they posted like an outrageous limerick

on the doorway of the bookshop. The music industry is this open cesspool of misogyny and, frankly, rape and sexual harassment. And somehow, they have just, the angel of death has flown over them. Why do you think that is? I think it's because this is a capitalist country, and the music industry is much more lucrative than NPR. That would be my guess. But it's not more... You know, I mean, a lot of the stories about everybody, starting with, you know, me too, I've heard a lot of these stories.

you know, for many years, you know. So Puffy, this was not exactly a state secret, you know, but was state secret apparently to them. You know, he's now in jail, I believe, with, I can't remember his name, the cryptocurrency guy. Yes, Fran Bankin-Fried. Right, him, Puffy, and now, Adams. All right?

It's better to stay out of jail. Look who the roommates say. You get, like... Okay. So, I understand that Francon is going on again. you don't attend this. This is the festival that people have where they dress like you and adore you. They're

making you into a cult figure. I say it's long overdue. I never know about this until last year. Is it this time of year? Yes, it is. To coincide what was the UN meeting? Like, you know, which is, have you ever been to New York doing the UN, whatever the thing is called?

So basically, it's almost like the Super Bowl because high-end hookers from all over the country pull in. Yes. And that is basically seems to be the business of the UN, because the other stuff, as we know, they're not getting done well. So the Frank Con thing, I never heard of it till last year. I never heard of it till last year. I think it's in a little bar. It's not, you know, the General Assembly. No, no. Okay, so I think it's in a little bar and people dress up like me, whatever that means. Well, anything can get people

to read more. Yes, I don't think they read that. They don't, they don't mean. And one reason I think they don't read as much as they used to is you won't write another book. And whenever I talk to people and they say, when you see Fran Niebelowitz, just ask her, why won't you write another book? I wouldn't say maybe it's not that I won't. It's that I have this like writer's blockade. For 45 years? Yes, that's why it's supposed to block. But what can we do to unblock it? I don't know. As soon as you know, give me a call. Friendly Bois, everybody.

We'll take that as a challenge. All right, let's meet our panel. Hey, all right. He is the president and founder of the Eurasia group in G-Zero Media. Ian Brimmer back with us, one of our most frequent guests. And he's a historian, philosopher,

and author of The New York Times Best Dollar, Nexus, A Brief History of Information Networks from the Stone Age to AI, Yuval, Noah Harari. Great to have you here. Stay inside. Okay, speaking of that, Biden spoke at the UN this week, and he said, in the years ahead, there may well be no greater test of our leadership

than how we deal with AI. And for a 200-year-old man, I thought that was pretty forward, thank you. It does seem like the world is taking AI very seriously at this point. I know you think that maybe we should have the solution originate in the UN, something like the Paris Climate Accord? No? Bad information.

I get bad fucking information. You don't think there should be some group that makes a decision about how we handle AI in the future? Yes, but I think we need to understand the problem before we rush to solutions. Part of the big problem of humanity, especially with AI, we tend to solve problems and then figure out that we solve the wrong problems. So we need to understand what we are facing before we rush to implement this or that solution. So what is the problem that we're missing and what is the problem that is really there?

I think the key thing to understand about AI is that it is really different from every previous technology in history, like nuclear weapons, in the sense that it's not a tool, it's an agent. Every previous technology in history, like atom bombs, we decided what to do with it, how to develop it, how to use it.

this is the first technology that can actually make decisions by itself, that can actually invent new things, new ideas, new medicines, new bombs by itself. So we do think about it differently than how to, for instance, limit the spread of nuclear weapons. The opportunities are massive. The dangers are also extraordinary, and they're coming quickly. So I think you need two different types of governance. And one is more traditional. is that right now the U.S. and China happen to be the dominant actors in the world, private and

public sector, in AI. We waited until 1962 to have even the beginning of an arms control conversation with the Soviets. When we almost blew each other up in the Cuban Missile Crisis, we can't afford to wait for decades for the Americans and Chinese to start talking about AI arms control agreements, even though we don't trust each other, right? That's critical. That has to happen. But also, we need to make sure that the world, world is talking to each other and understanding the nature of these agents. What's happening in AI, both the opportunities so that they can be used in the global south, for example, and by poorer people in the United States that don't necessarily have the education to use it, not just

by the people that have access to the biggest companies. And that is something that has to be done globally. That's something that has been advanced this week at the United Nations, and with the exception of the Russians who tried to scuttle it at the last moment, everyone else agreed. The Americans, the Europeans, the Chinese. Turns out when you have a big issue like this, you can actually get countries together and agree to do some things. Well, I believe that one I did. Well, let me ask you something else I probably got wrong. Did you not say that you think that free speech should only extend to humans, not bots?

Yes, I did say that. Oh, good. I got one out of two. So, meaning if they're a chat bot, there's no free speech for them, which is not something everybody agrees with at this point. Yeah, and also more importantly, no free speech or no free pass for the algorithms that are now managing the social media platforms, which are the most important media platforms in the world. basically we now have the most sophisticated information technology in history and people are losing the ability to hold the conversation to talk with each other, to listen to each other.

This is not just a U.S. problem. It is all over the world. And this is largely because we gave one of the most important jobs not just in the media industry, in the world, to algorithms which are not regulated and nobody is liable for what they are doing. You know, the job of news editors was one of the most important jobs a human can fulfill. Lenin, before he was dictator of the Soviet Union, was editor of a newspaper. Mussolini, before he was the dictator of Italy, he was editor of a newspaper.

Now the most important editors in the world are algorithms, the algorithms that decide what you will see on the news feed in Facebook or TikTok or Twitter or YouTube. And they were given a very specific and narrow goal by their human masters to increase human engagement, to increase user engagement. And they discovered by experimenting on billions of human guinea pigs that the easiest way to grab user attention is to press the hate button or the greed button or the fear button in our minds. And this is what they've been doing for the last couple of years or decades. And this is what makes the conversation almost all over the world impossible. They are flooding the world with junk information. And nobody is liable for that because they hide behind free speech.

But what we want really from the corporations is not to be liable for what the human users are saying. Here, free speech should definitely be protected. They should be liable for what their algorithms do. I tend to, for me, the comparison, if we had a new genetically modified food, we would absolutely be testing it before we release it with society. If we have a new vaccine, even if there's a pandemic on, we want to make sure we test it. It's an emergency before we release it. We have algorithms that we are releasing real time into society and just seeing what happens with the kids, with the adults. and, you know, let's just see if democracy can stand up to that.

That strikes me as a real problem. And the companies, I'm not anti-capitalist at all. Fran will have a different view. But I actually think we need more capitalism. The capitalists that are driving the business models can't only be capitalists when they're making money and become socialist when they're causing damage, right? They have to take responsibility for the negative externality.

And they don't want to do that. And if they refuse to do that, who pays? We pay, our kids pay, that's the danger. Absolutely. And the other thing is that this is just, you know, extremely primitive AIs. The algorithms, the AIs that manage the social media platforms, they are just the first generation. We haven't seen anything yet.

In 10 or 20 years, we will have far more powerful AIs, and we need to start thinking very seriously, how do we manage that? Again, understanding that these are not tools in our hands, these are agents that can make decisions that we can't anticipate, that can invent new ideas from new texts to new financial devices

that really go beyond the human imagination. And as you say, it incentivize hate, hate and fear, and you mentioned also greed. I would say the only thing that could trump that would be sex. Which is coming. Yeah, I mean, they used to say, you know, if you put porn on television, it would get the highest ratings.

If you had normal television in Yulad, put that people, the lizard brain would go to that. But they don't allow anything dirty on TikTok. Look, Yuval's worried about, he's worried about 10 to 20 years out. I'm worried about two to three years out. When you're rolling out AI algorithms, bots that are trained on your personal data, you're going to spend more time with that entity, with that bot for your health, for your finances, for your personal relationships, and yes, your love life than anything else. Again, I don't feel very comfortable just releasing that because it's profitable.

That's the sex you're talking about, though. Listen to this. Actually, I've put this out today. 54% of respondents in a survey agreed with the statement, I've disengaged from politics because I can't tell what's true. And I thought, I, throughout this campaign, I've been reading the paper, of course, many different papers.

One day, I'll look and it'll be like crime is way down. The next day, crime's way up. Depending on where you look. I'm in this business, and I can't tell you whether crime is up or down. Because I feel like I'm one of these people, although I can't disengage, it's my job. But I don't know what's true or not. And then I read about Janet Jackson.

Did you see what she said about, No. Okay. You people know. She's talking about Kamala Harris. And she said, well, I heard her father's white because that's what Trump said. And this is Janet Jackson. And they were like, why are you saying this?

She said, that's what I heard. And then lots of people are, oh, it's a conspiracy. It's like, oh, please, don't overthink it. This is exactly what Trump does. People are telling me, I'm hearing. Don't overthink you. It's just that people are not that bright. They're not well-informed, especially celebrities.

So it's not a conspiracy. This is just somebody said this to her, or she saw it somewhere, and this is what she is now thinking. You know, Bill, the most important issue to Americans in this election, it's not state of democracy, it's not abortion, it's not immigration. Number one issue they consistently say is the economy, right?

Yes. And yet the way people feel about the economy, when you poll them before 2020 election and right after the 2020 election flipped completely. All the Democrats were unhappy with the election when Trump was, the economy when Trump was president. Now they're happy. All of the Republicans were unhappy. Now they're happy. That's the most important issue we're voting on.

And literally the only thing that matters to them, principally, is not the state of inflation. It's not the state of unemployment. It's not the interest rates. Lord knows, not the stock market. It's just what's your guy? telling you. What's your gal telling you? You can't maintain democracy in that environment for long.

Okay. I think the key issue is that democracy is based on trust, whereas dictatorship is based on terror. If you, I mean, if you systematically destroy trust in institutions, destroy trust in the media, in academia, in the courts, and so

forth, some people think that this is liberating the people from these institutions. It's not. When you destroy all trust, the only thing that can still work is a dictatorship. So this is what would be dictators do. They systematically destroy trust. And the other thing to realize is that the vast majority of information is not truth.

A key misconception, especially in places like Silicon Valley, is to equate information with truth. Most information is junk. I mean, the truth is a very rare and costly and precious subkind of information. because, you know, to write a truthful story, you need to invest a lot of time and effort and money in research and fact-checking, whereas fiction is very, very cheap. Okay, well, listen, I have to interrupt because we'd like to follow the trends here very carefully, and as I was mentioning to friend, one of them is sex parties.

I just can't ignore it. I can't ignore it. It's all, everybody's having sex parties. Puff Daddy was having sex parties. Matt Gates is having sex parties. sex parties the COVID czar in New York was going to sex parties and by the way I bet you there's very few crossover for these three sex parties I don't I don't see I don't see puffy at the but the COVID czar's party so anyway it's so popular now there's actually a magazine

about it it's it's going to oh here it is it's called better homes and hard on and uh would you like to see some of the articles that are in better homes and hard on A thousand bottles of oil. How dry is your baby? Another awkward drugstore. Five hot sex positions. Guaranteed to get your host masturbating. Well, that's...

Pooping at the party without being a party pooper. There's an article you'd want to read. Health conscious, 12 superfoods you can shove up your hair. Why is Justin Bieber crying in the corner? And other signs the party. he's over. Nice to finally fuck you. And other orgy ice breakers.

Party planner roundtable. Which balloons look most like dicks? Ew, gross. It's you. How one too many Moscow meals led me to having sex with my own husband. Sex party etiquette. Five polite ways to say,

Not in my hair. And holy shit, what to do when you run into your priest. Okay. We are, uh, certainly are in a We're the eclectic show, aren't we the way we cover the gamuts? Now, back to the UN. Thank you for not bringing us into that. No, I was definitely not going to bring you into that.

But let's talk about the UN. What a segue. Where they're probably having sex parties, by the way. I mean, please. The UN, everybody I know who's in New York, like Fran was in someone, but they all hate this. I mean, all these political nepo babies and dictators and potentates around the world flying in, tying up traffic.

doing God knows what. Again, the hookers all fly in. It's true. The U.N., true or false, put it this way. The U.N. is a joke. False. Let me finish. The U.N. is a joke and a corrupt one,

but there's no sense getting rid of it because we would just reinvent it again. But it is a joke. Number one, we're New Yorkers, and we have no problem walking. We love the subway. It's not a problem that. there's traffic. We know how to deal with that. You love the subway?

We're okay with the subway. Subway's fast, it's cheap, it's cleaner than it used to be. It's okay. Yeah, I used to take it. I didn't love it. It's okay. Number two, the United Nations is a place where the world actually gets together and talks. This is a world that increasingly people are isolated. People are

focusing on what they hate or what they like. If you actually had this meeting four times a year as opposed to just once, you'd have more movement towards diplomacy. You'd have more hookers. Here's... I think it's important to remember that it takes a very short time to destroy an institution and it takes decades to build one.

And we need institutions. Otherwise, human society doesn't function. I said we shouldn't get rid of it. But it's a fucking joke. Currently sitting on the UN Human Rights Council, or China, Somalia, and Sudan. That's a joke. That's a joke.

Okay, great. So now we're agreeing. Terrific. From 2015 through 2022, basically the last 10 years, the UN General Assembly has adopted 140 resolutions. These are scolding a country on Israel and 68 on all the other countries in the world. Correct. We're talking about Russia, Iran, Syria, Sudan, Myanmar, North Korea, Cuba, Venezuela, Yemen, Somalia, all of those. Bill.

And other bad boys. Hell. 68, Israel alone, 140. That's a joke. Yes, but your problem is not with the UN. You said the General Assembly. Who do you think the General Assembly is? You think that's like some group of people disassociated from the rest of the world?

Those are votes taken by countries, 193, in the world. Now, if you say you have problems with lots of those other countries because they're voting consistently against Israel, sure, I'm with you. That's a problem. That's not the United Nations. You've got to talk with those countries, Bill. Yes. Once again, I said we should keep the United Nations, but admit it is a joke. And by the way... A joke, but by what standard? I mean, what do you expect? When you have human rights violators on the Order of China and Somalia being on the Human Rights Committee, that's a joke. When you have... I mean, they found that some of the people in the UN were involved, involved in the October 7th attack in your country.

They were not just supporting them, but actually involved in the attack. UN people. So you discover that history is not just, that there is no justice in the world. And now the question is, what do you do with it? So you have, first of all, to acknowledge the reality. These are the people on the planet. I mean, maybe I would have liked to have another humanity,

but this is the humanity we have. And we have to work with them. You guys are very forgiving. I rarely take... I have got to say. I rarely take issue with you. No, no, please do. I don't think we're disagreeing that much

because I'm not saying get rid of me. I know you're not saying, but you're saying it's a joke. It is a fucking joke. I don't accept that at all. I don't accept it all. The United States, the biggest contribution the U.S. makes to the U.N. it's not the $700 million they spend on U.N. dues. It's the $7 billion they spend for the World Food Program.

And that's money that goes to Sudan. That's money that goes to countries that are in desperate humanitarian. The U.N. is like the Catholic Church. You're right. The Catholic Church does good charity work and other than that. And there's a lot of child fucking. So we call that a push? No.

We don't call it a push. push. I happen to be very proud as an American that after 1945, when we won the war that almost destroyed us, that we decided that we were going to create an institution that reflected our values, human rights that we used to really believe in in this country. And I think part of the reason that the United Nations gets so much hell from the U.S. right now is because we look at ourselves internationally, and we don't like the hypocrisy. And we feel shame. We're not like Donald Trump. And so it's problematic for us that we no longer stand up. for a lot of that fundamental declaration of human rights,

a lot of those sustainable development goals that we want for the rest of the world, but we're not taking care of a lot of Americans at home. I think that hurts us. That's what I believe. According to the Washington Post, since 2010, there have been more than 1,200 reported allegations of sexual abuse in UN peacekeeping missions.

More like, get a peace mission, apparently. 1,200 allegations of sexual abuse from the peacekeepers. All right, let me ask another question about international affairs. The war is going on now with Israel and Hezbollah. It looks like it's full on. When we were attacked on September 11, 2001, Bush-Pedata doctrine called the Bush doctrine. It was, we will make no distinction between the terrorists who committed these acts and those who harbor them.

As Israel goes after the terrorists in Hamas, in Gaza with Hamas, and now in Lebanon, I see there are protests in this country already pro-Lebanese. Why does that apply not to Israel and only, why do we get to just say that and Israel doesn't about, you know, if you harbor terrorists, we will go after you. It seems like it should apply to both. I mean, if October 7th had happened here, population-wise, we would have lost like 50,000 people. What? Israel obviously has a right to defense.

itself. And if Nasrallah is dead, for instance, as some reports say, then a lot of people, not only in Israel, but also in Lebanon, also in Syria will not be said. I mean, this is a chaos agent that brought death and destruction

and misery, again, not just to Israeli citizens, also to millions of Lebanese and millions of Syrians and wanted to see the Middle East go up in flames. The question is, how do we go beyond that? When we've seen the movie many times, In Hollywood, you kill the bad guy, the movie is over, happy ending.

But in the Middle East, it's not Hollywood. You kill Saddam Hussein, there is no peace in Iraq. You kill Muammar Gaddafi, there is no peace in Libya. The question is, how do you go beyond killing the bad guys and actually creating peace and a better life for millions of people? Well, how did we... It's not like we haven't done that in the world. We killed Hitler and we killed Tojo and Germany and Japan.

became very valuable, peaceful members of the world community. Because things were done beyond just killing them. Yes. It was not the only thing that was done. No. The rebuilding after. Look, first I want to thank you as the non-Jew for having me on the show to discuss this issue today. I'm not Jewish.

No, no, I know. I'm just giving it. Youval and Fran, but it's okay. I think that this is an issue globally. After 9-11, we made a lot of mistakes. And it hurt the United States. After October 7th, which you're right was the equivalent of far more than 9-11 in the United States, President Biden came out and said, don't make the same mistakes the Americans made.

It's not like the U.S. isn't supporting Israel right now. This week, the United States sent another $8 billion in military support to Israel. No one is cutting the Israelis off. No one's sanctioning the Israelis. There's enormous amount of support. The problem. And by the way, not in Yahoo's winning. You know, I mean, he was to blame for taking his eye off.

the ball on defense on October 7th. But today, just this week, Lekud, his party, for the first time since October 7th, is polling better than the other parties. So he kills Nostrella, he moves the 60,000 Israelis back to the north of the country. It's the equivalent of two million in the United States. Imagine if for a year after 9-11, New Mexico was just empty. So you understand he's going to be supported there. He could declare an end of major military operations in Gaza. He'll be applauded in Israel. His policies in the last year have been condemned by much the world, but in Israel, they're very popular. And the reality is that if he wanted to, after all of this, declare elections, good chance he'd win. That's where we are. I mean, I was in a meeting a few

days ago with all the leaders of the Middle East, and they were all saying, this is the worst we've seen since the war in 1967. It's a disaster. We need a two-state solution. It's all going to hell. What are you going to do about it? Anyone? Nothing. Nothing. What they're going to do about it is probably forget the Palestinians again. And Israel has the ability to defend itself. They'll continue to. That's where we're heading on the Middle East right now. Do you agree with that? And the big question is, what is the plan for the day after? What is Netanyahu's plan or his government's plan for the day after?

Do they have any plan? I know that the extremists, the religious zealots, they have a plan. They also want to see the Middle East on fire. They want to see greater Israel. They want to see even the temple rebuilt. They have messianic visions. And, you know, in the Middle East, you have to take... the messianic zealots seriously. They are shaping reality often more than anybody else.

And this is extremely dangerous for the, not just for the people of the Middle East, but for people all over the world. Yeah. Thank you. All right, we gotta go to new rules. Appreciate it guys. Okay. We need, we need to track down this car from 2021. I have so many questions about Bud Light is my vaccine. Like, did you ever think, Maybe I should look up how to spell vaccine. And how did you feel in 2023 when you found out Bud Light turns you gay? No, well, someone has to explain to me the business model of the American drugstore.

We'll sell drugs, but also alcohol, sweatpants, Halloween crap, and overpriced USB cords. And, uh, and yeah, we'll, uh, we'll only hire one employee to manage it all, who also has to serve ice cream and take passport photos. And when the shoplifters show up because nobody's minding the store, we'll lock everything behind glass and make customers wait 45 minutes for a jar of gasoline. I'm telling you, it can't fail. New rule, people who are still wearing masks in public in September of 2024 have to write the reason why on the mask.

And here are the reasons we will accept. I have a cold. I have a cold sore. My lip piercing got a cold. infected. I'm Asian. I'm a huge pussy, and I've been in a coma since 2021. Wait, are we not still doing this? New rule, now that it's officially fall, don't ask me to go on a hayride or visit a pumpkin patch or check out a corn maze or any other happy seasonal bullshit. This is California. We don't do fall here. When our leaves turn brilliant orange, it's because they're on

fire. Uh, Newell, the mom, whose video of her baby getting stuck in the doggy door went viral, has to answer the question, why didn't you put down the phone and help your baby? I mean, this video goes on for a while. What's mom and dad waiting for? The golden hour? Hitchcock treated Tippy Hedron better when they were making the birds, for God's sakes.

If this is how you parent humans, you should probably stick to doggies. And finally, new rule, the smartest thing Democrats did this year was finding their patriotism again. If you told me a year ago that if Kamala Harris would be the nominee and in her acceptance speech, she would use the word privilege. I would not have guessed that she used it the way she did. The greatest privilege on earth. The privilege and pride of being an American.

Yeah, and Tim Walz? also began his speech with a great line, saying, we're all here tonight for one beautiful, simple reason. We love this country. And yet this message doesn't seem to be catching on with a lot of the younger people. None of them are standing up and screaming, that's my country. Quite the reverse.

Quite the reverse, the protests that started off as justice for Palestine have morphed into a broader kind of, America is the problem. We fucked up the whole world thing. Last weekend there was a pro-Palestine rally in Seattle and when the rapper MacLamore said, fuck America, everybody loved it. Yeah, fuck America. Yeah, I'm sure it was a big hit with the Queers for Gaza crowd,

literally advocating for a government that would imprison you or kill you for being queer from the safety and security of a country that doesn't do that. Yes, America, the only place in the world where a white guy from the suburbs could become a millionaire rapper because here every person regardless of race, class, or gender has the right to be talent-free. And guess what document allows you to protest and chant, hey, hey, ho, followed by something really stupid.

Yeah. Constitution Day was last week. It's an actual federal holiday, but no one noticed, despite the fact that it's probably the greatest legal document ever. Is it flawed? Of course. It was written by humans. and they were all white men, as depicted in this illustration from Google AI. But how about looking at the actual ideas in it? I won't hold my breath for that, because only 14% of eighth graders are proficient in history now, and only 22% in civics,

which may be why 4 and 10, Gen Zier, say, the authors of the Constitution are best described as villains. Wow. It's amazing since in 1970s, in 1776, James Monroe was 18. Alexander Hamilton was 21 and James Madison 25. Joe Biden was only 30. America's founders, they were the Gen Z of their day.

And when they were your age, they started a country. What the fuck have you done? So, no, the Constitution isn't perfect because it wasn't written by Taylor Swift. And yes, the founders made excruciating compromises, obviously slavery. But slavery was a deal breaker for the southern states.

So there would have been two countries. And then to end slavery in North America, it would have involved invading a sovereign nation instead of having the moral high ground of keeping a union together. Would that have been better? History's complicated, and Gen Z reasoning is not. They think they're pure, but they're really just simplistic.

They know two things. White people did some very bad things, And, no, that's it. That's all they are. That's the thing. Well, I know that, too. But I also know other things. Like how in 1776, slavery was a lot like flying private today.

If you could afford to, you would have done it too. Everybody did it of all races throughout history, in the Bible, and all over the world. If you hate George Washington for slavery, are you prepared to hate the woman King because her empire was built on it too. And where do you imagine is this place outside of your brilliant, pure minds that's so much better than America? At least America self-corrects, a mechanism for which was actually written into the Constitution.

The citizens of Gaza cannot assemble in protest of their own government, cannot do or say what they want, or practice whatever religion they want, or have a free press. All rights guaranteed in just our First Amendment. The irony is that the world the founders birthed, flawed though it may be, provides the bedrock for everything that makes life good for the very people who hate them so much. It's so easy to take for granted individual liberty, a bill of rights, the rule of law, checks and balances, getting a trial by jury, the peaceful transfer of power, protecting minority rights, and democracy itself. But those are the things that make our pampered, privileged, brady lives so relatively cushy. No one starves here. Even our poor people are fat.

Not everyone has to be bribed. Anyone can get rich. The cops are flawed, but we're not a police state. The drinks don't make you go blind, and no one pushes you out of a window for a bad Yelp review. Our government takes a lot and fucks up a lot, but it also gives a lot. Health care, retirement, money, unemployment, disability, college grants, food stamps, maybe in the blissfully prospective free mind, this all adds up to a low bar that America has reached.

But you have to ask, why do millions of people every year risk their lives to come here? Because they want what we got. The founders were flawed, but they didn't build a place the whole world wants to break into. No one is paying a coyote to smuggle them into India or Russia. immigrants don't see us as the problem. They see us as a solution. And there's a reason they kill themselves to get here, and it's not just the ponds full of delicious ducks and geese.

All right, that's our show. We're off next week. We'll be back October 11th. I'll be at the Taft in Cincinnati this Sunday, the majestic and San Antonio, October 12th, and the Tulsa Theater in Tulsa, October 13. I want to thank Ian Remmer, Yvot, Noah Harari, and Fran Ligowitz.

Now go watch overtime on YouTube. Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen. I appreciate it. Thank you. Catch all new episodes of real-time with Bill Maher every Friday night at 10. Or watch them any time on HBO on demand. For more information, log on to HBO.com. Lazzang sur-gillet, Pucance-Moyerned for 15 minutes.

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