Real Time with Bill Maher - Ep. #724: Sen. Elissa Slotkin, Stephen A. Smith, Laura Coates

Episode Date: March 28, 2026

Bill’s guests are Sen. Elissa Slotkin, Stephen A. Smith, Laura Coates (Originally aired 3/27/26) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Veye to pay some responsible. The conditions apply. Welcome to an HBO podcast. From the

HBO Late Night series Real Time with Bill Ma. Thank you people. I appreciate that. Great to have

you here. Thank you. I know. All right. Thank you. I know why you're happy. Trump says

there is a way out of Iran. Unfortunately, it's through the airport. That is just oh, have you?

Anybody here had to come through the airport? Ooh, it's easier to get through the straight or Hormuz than the airport these days. And, you know, this impasse that has been going on, since January 31st is when this bullshit started, you know, the funding of the TSA. Everything in this country is a hostage situation. Every side's like, the dog gets it.

Unless you do what we say on this or the no TSA. They haven't been to do this. So the latest plan A, Trump had this week was to send ice to the airport okay forgetting that ice does not perform

any sort of task that would be alleviating the actual problem there so it's just more people standing around plan B was to send to every airport 100 raccoons that was

but finally today Trump signed an executive order, don't know why he couldn't have done that five weeks ago, that will pay the TSA agents who haven't been paid since Valentine's Day. It's not good when people have no money work in a place where water is $6 a bottle. Okay, so, but finally some good news. Ladies and gentlemen, Donald Trump is getting the America First Award.

I'm not, no, maybe you never heard of it because they just made it up. But it is a real thing, and he's getting it. Mike Johnson says we'll be given annually to Donald Trump. But speaking of awards, I'm finally getting one. Everyone's asking me to explain what was going on, because there's a lot of back and forth about this. It's an award given at the Kennedy Center, but of course that is now the Trump Kennedy Center. So, I was gonna get it, and then Friday, Trump's, both his spokespeople come out and said,

fake news, Bill Maher's never getting it. We have reached a compromise, okay? And the compromise is, I am going to get it, and then I'm going to give it to him. Everybody's happy. I just want things to work out. I'm also, I want to say, thank you. Okay, I'm not looking for a fight,

and I'm not mad that he did this. You know what, me and the president, We have a complicated relationship. Goes back to the orangutan lawsuit. You know, this isn't been going on a long time. So him trying to block me from getting it, I respect the move. I respect the move. Keep the game going, baby, okay?

I'm all about engagement. Disengagement gets you nothing. You got to engage. So even though I see that we're back to him calling me a jerk and I'm a lightweight ratings loser, Get it off your chest, big man. Okay, I'm totally fine with it. I was proud of these last insults you gave me.

I added them to the list of insults that I brought to the White House that he signed graciously when I was there. So I would just like to say, as a low ratings lightweight and a rather dumb guy and a pathetic bloated sleaze bag, A dummy, a terrible student, a nervous failing comedian,

and someone who was sick, insane, very sad, totally shot, and a crazy maniac. I am honored to accept the Mark Twainville. Thank you very much. And I will be there, Don, and I hope you will be too. I mean, the place is named after you now. You really should show up. You could show up, you could thank me in person

for being one of the few people on the lunatic left, who's glad you hit Iran, and is hoping we, win that one, okay? So, oh, the war? The war? You know, all wars are foggy, but this one's very foggy. Trump says, boy,

this is an interesting thing. He says they're in talks with the Iranians, and the Iranians say they're not talking at all. It's a real, he said, Shia said. Islam joke. Listen to this. Trump's quote. He said,

They want to make a deal so badly. And Iranian the negotiator said, our first and last word has always been that someone like us will never come to terms with someone like you, not now, not ever. That doesn't sound

just like a no. That sounds like a Taylor Swift. We are never, ever, ever getting back together. But Trump gave an absolute deadline today about the straighter form of He said, you either open that else or else, and Iran picked or else.

And then he extended the deadline to April 6th. And then he said, okay, if you don't do it, we're going to blow up your electrical grid. And then they didn't move on that. And so he extended that to April 17th. He's kind of like that dad in the car who says, don't make me turn this thing around. And then never does, you know.

And listen to this. Last week we found out there's going to be a gold Trump coin. Now, he's putting his signature on the currency, which the Treasury Secretary's always had forever in this country. And I don't know about this, because whenever Trump names stuff after himself, it never really works out.

I mean, you think about the Atlantic City can see, those, Trump University, Don Jr. All right, right, right. All right, we've got a great show, Stephen A. Smith and Laura Coates are here. First up, she's a former CIA analyst and pending on official who now serves as a Democratic Senator

for Michigan. Senator Alyssa Slotkin is here. How are you? Great to see you again. Oh, we love all of him you are. Thank you. Look at that. It's standing in place here. All right.

Did you get out here okay with the airline situation? I did. We had a 2 a.m. vote yesterday and then got on a plane this morning. The Senate ended. Thank you very much. And the airport was okay? The airport was good.

Oh, wow. I saw some of the ICE officers. They were actually moving packages, Amazon packages, when I saw them. But it was moving well. And I think we want, you know, we want TSA paid. So that was the point of the 2 AM vote. Who knew ICE was such a Swiss Army knife, right? What can't they do with my question?

Police are streets the way we want them to be police. Well, that's the, yeah, that, now that's, That's the whole sticking point, right? But what I just mentioned there, it seems like every problem that we used to be able to solve like adults is a hostage situation. Does it strike you that way that everything is like, unless we get everything we want?

Because Trump upped the ante here at one point to, okay, I'm not doing this unless you also throw in the trans issue. Yeah. Trans. I think, like, I don't think it takes, you know, a genius to understand that we are, like, ill as a country. We're not functioning the way we feel, most Americans feel proud of, our political system.

And it used to be that, you know, you would argue and, of course, have disagreements, but you get in a room, kick everyone out, just put your head down and get a deal. And that has become, I've been a senator now for a year and change, and that is just not the way it's functioning. And I don't, again, I'm from Michigan. We are a practical people.

And I don't, 80% of the people that I talk to cannot stand the way politicians are representing themselves right now, period. Well, I see even in the conservative press this week, people who, you know, we have the California Post out here now, so it kind of keeps the liberals honest. And they're usually, you know, I've got their head way up Trump's ass. Even they are onto this story about irregular trading that's going on. What is your feeling about that? I mean, they're using head. Words like curious in the head, like curious, because like a couple of minutes before Trump makes some pronouncement, people will be trading and making enormous money. This is on the war in Iran and where oil is going.

What is your make of this? I mean, I just dropped a bill yesterday on prediction markets and that no one in the government, whether you're a career government person or a political appointee like the president and his kids, anybody, no one should be able to place a bet. based on insider information they have, especially on issues of war and peace. And so what we know from the... I mean, it's just to put it in perspective, you know, you would have people before we went into Venezuela. You had a bunch of people get online anonymously

and go under the prediction markets and say, I bet we're going to have some military action in Venezuela tomorrow and made a ton of money. Same thing ahead of the Iran war. And these are people we can assume who have insider information that we're launching military operations. Number one, that's insider trading.

Number two, it's also a complete operational security risk. If you're the Iranians and you're sitting there and you're like, huh, I notice there's a bunch of bets coming in for a war tomorrow. It's like, oh, shit, I think we're about to have a war. So I think that it's just a bad thing all around. All around. So what do you do about it? In the past, when Trump has done stuff like this,

I'm thinking of the first impeachment over Ukraine. And, you know, plainly, he was things he should not have been doing. But that didn't really work. And then they took him to court a number of times when he was out of office. That didn't seem to work. Robert Mueller died last week, and somebody wrote a column. And the basic idea was, you know, you guys, you put your energy into these impeachments and court rulings.

that's never going to work. You've got to win this at the ballot box. So for something like this, do you take this to the level of impeachment? Do you take this to the courts? Well, I think we are going to have to grapple with the unbelievable corruption that is coming out of this administration. I mean, the president, just his kids alone, have earned a billion dollars since he became president. So we're going to have to grapple with that. But the bigger question for us as Americans is it turns out a lot of the things we think,

thought were laws, we thought were real rules, were actually just kind of traditions, right? We had presidents who would just, they would feel ashamed if they got involved in business dealings in the middle of their administration. And there just wasn't real law there. So I think, no matter what, whether you're Democrat or Republican, we're going to have to take a hard look at how some of those traditions that were based on good behavior actually need to become law with real teeth. With real teeth. Good luck getting the Republicans to sign on to that, though. Well, you know, it'll be interesting. Right now, I mean, you know, a lot of my peers really just, like, salute whatever the president tells them to do.

They've sort of ceded their power as a separate branch of government. It's amazing. It's amazing. Oh, I agree. I'm just saying it's curious to me, I mean, both parties do it to a degree. I feel like there was one viewpoint that came out after he started this war with Iran. I mean, there's one guy, John Federman, who I can think of, who has dissented from the Democratic Party line. Is that really the case that really there's only one person in the whole party who thinks different?

You're all miraculously came to the exact same conclusion about Iran? I think it's different than that because, you know, I'm someone, I'm a former CIA officer. I did three tours in Iraq. And so I have no love loss for the Iranian government. I mean, the Iranian leadership, you know, killed friends of minds with rockets and mortars and IEDs. But that's different from just running headlong into a war without being able to articulate your goals and how you're going to get out of it.

See, that's the Democratic talking point I hear all the time, and I don't know if it's true. I think they were planning to say that, whether he did it or not, and then he did it, and they just kept saying it, even though they did say many times, okay, we found out that they're very close to the bomb. I mean, that's what came out in the negotiations,

that they were bragging, that they were, like, weeks away, from having enough to make 11 bombs. That should be pretty clear. But look, I can say very openly, as a national security person, we have for sure degraded their nuclear capabilities, for sure degraded their ballistic missile capabilities, important things in terms of the Iranian government. But until the Strait of Hormuz is open,

you literally just can't say that we've won this war when another country has a veto over what ship goes in and out. So I don't think you... No, but it's a month. It's a month old. It's a month old, but we're sending in ground troops into that theater. We're not there yet, but yeah. Well, they're moving into the Middle East. They're not on the ground yet, yes. Okay, but he's announced that they're going. So I think, and I'm not saying he's going to use ground troops,

but I'm just saying, like, look, Saddam Hussein was a horrible guy, right? Use chemical weapons on his people, just murderous for years and years and years. So there's no love lost for Saddam Hussein. That doesn't mean that Americans feel great. after we got bogged down for years and years and years in the Iraq war, it's not a lot to ask whether you're a Democrat or Republican for a plan when we're just coming off of 20 years of being bogged down in wars. But the difference in Iraq is they were absolutely no threat. We absolutely attacked a country that had nothing to do with 9-11.

Just because we had this idea of planting a democracy in the middle of the middle. No, no, I'm sorry. At the time, it was that they had WMD. Remember? It was like they could threaten us. But it turned out not to be true. Fair. They just wanted to do it.

The excuse, right? The reason. Right. But Iran has been attacking the West for a long time, including the ally that is our most important ally in the world, and that is Israel. It's not NATO. Again, you're not going to get me to put love on the Iranian government, right? I've seen that all up and close myself.

But I don't, again, I just feel like, especially as someone who served three tours over in Iraq, it's just not hard and it is totally fair to ask for a plan and to know that we are better in America when we do shock and awe hardcore quickly rather than get us bogged down

like long term. As a nation, nation building is not our strength abroad. And he would lose me in two seconds on this if he started doing that. I don't think he will. I think he's a, look, he's the kind of guy

who will definitely abandon you. And that might be a good thing in this one. I mean, I don't want to abandon the Iraqi people and the Iranian people, and I wanted to ask you, as a CIA analyst, are you surprised that the uprising hasn't happened yet? And did you think it would? Do you think it might?

I mean, look, my entire life, the Iranian people have been under the thumb of an Ayatollah and not, they've had periodic moments where they've really done brave things, but they haven't really pushed it all the way through. The Iranian government has a tight grip on that place, and now we've replaced one Ayatollah with another Ayatollah. So I just think the Iranian people are just kind of waiting to see what happens.

I don't think any Middle East specialists would tell you that if we went in, they would automatically just rise up and overthrow their own government. Okay. Well, Israel is a way of surprising you. We're stuff they're doing behind the scenes. We'll see if any page. In the meantime, though, I mean, I have to say, one of the last things I saw when I left Michigan a week ago was a 90-minute line outside of Costco for gas, right? I mean, the American people are feeling the impacts of this war many, many miles away.

And that's a very real, real thing for people. I mean, the Democrats could have a whole good slogan about, hey, you're getting rich from the war and we're paying more at the pump. Yeah, I mean. That would work, wouldn't it? Well, you know. That's why how I know you won't do it. Because it's simple and easy and concrete. You're not going to get me to defend democratic messaging.

That's not going to be ever something that I'm going to defend. That's part of the problem and why we lost the last election, and we can have a whole autopsy about that. I think for me, what is important going forward, whether you're a Democrat or Republican, is like the American people, they're telling us something. They want something different out of their government. They want some alpha energy,

from their leaders. And they certainly, whether you agree with them or not, are getting that from some of the Republicans. And my plea to my own party is like, can we have a little bit more alpha energy, punch and believe in what we believe in, and show people that we give a shit, and be simple about what addressing the needs that they care about the most. And that has been a struggle, and I'm here to be a part of that change. You could lunch the president for me on that one. Thank you very much. I appreciate you making the trip. I know it wasn't easy.

Alyssa Blackton, ladies and gentlemen. All right, let's meet our panel. Hey. All right. Do you have me with that last speech? All right. He is the host of Straight Shooter with Stephen A. And the Stephen A. Smith show on Sirius XM and YouTube.

Stephen A. Smith is over here. And she is CNN's chief legal analyst and author of Laura Coates live airing weeknights on CNN. Laura Coates, back for this. Okay. I hope it wasn't a nightmare for you two to get here. Was it airports and so forth? Are you okay?

I'm good. Okay. All right. Because it seems to be such a primer in the dysfunction of the way this country works, this whole mess. I mean, you could start with Biden and the Democrats for reasons unknown, or Republicans have their theories, had to completely open border policy.

So Trump gets elected on that, and then goes way too far the other way. and has ICE act like, you know, paramilitary groups in Chile in 1974. And so then when the funding comes up for the Department of Homeland Security, which TSA is a part, the Democrats say, we're not going to do it. We're not going to give any more money as long as ICE is wearing masks, doesn't need a warrant to break into your home, no body cameras. That was the big sticking point.

And because TSA is in this department, they're the one. And they just want to hang out at the airport and do what they do, which is not stop anything from getting through anyway. 80 to 90% of the stuff that's supposed to get stopped doesn't get through anyway. My stuff always get stopped. So does mine. Hell, I get stopped. It's ridiculous sometimes how many times.

Oh, you're flying. You got to scan you a few extra times. It's annoying, but, you know, I'll take it to be safe 30,000 feet there. Yes. Well, then my geotero is, though. My deodor is not a problem, my perfume. But I've been a federal employee not getting paid during a shutdown. The idea that you're supposed to do your job well

and not know where your child care, daycare, mortgage, rent, gas, food is coming from, those are fields that you want people to feel as though they are invested in the job, but they want to almost have an itching to stop whoever comes because they want to show that they're actually for national security, to not to pay them and have them be a pawn, I don't know how anyone could feel safe. Well, I'll take it a step further. I slightly disagree.

I would like to modify what she said. She said to do your job well. How about to do your job, period? So you go to work and you don't get paid. But meanwhile, the politicians that we send on Capitol Hill to handle their business, to reach in the court so we don't have to go through such things, they're the ones getting paid at the same time that you don't.

They're disgusting. It's just that simple. We got to look at it from this standpoint. 480 TSA workers have quit, according to the latest report. 61,000 went unpaid over the last month. 61,000 American citizens. Now you've got to look at it from that standpoint and say, as disgusting as it is, it gets a bit worse.

When you're looking at the president in the White House and they're projecting that he's made him and his family over $1.4 billion, I think it's about triple that, but that's neither here nor there. You've got other politicians that are doing what they're doing. You've got the Democrats sitting up there talking about how there are some people who need... Americans need to say,

because they should have never, the 77 million people who voted for President Trump should have never voted for him to begin with. So maybe we'll allow them to feel voters' remorse so they won't make the same mistake twice. And then on the Republican side, you've got them gung-ho about the fact that they regained power in office, that they had to deal with the nonsense that they were dealing with when Biden opened the damn borders. Either way you slice it, they're okay, the Americans get screwed, and we're left to talk about the horrible job against us.

It's the second good presidential speech I've heard to know. Oh. No, really. I mean, it is amazing. It is amazing that when people actually aren't running for president, they sound so much better than the ones who do. Yeah. You know, what is that?

Well, what is? You have to not give a shit. Well, ladies first. No, candidates first. Well, you what? No, he told me he wasn't doing it. If they don't mess with my money, I will be a candidate. I'll be a candidate.

I'll be to tell you that right now. But I will tell you. this. I mean, listen, they sound that way because they're too busy in keeping their jobs instead of doing their jobs. What they're doing, they're in office. They've got a little bit of power, in some cases a lot of power, and they want to make sure to do things that are

politically expedient to maintain their status quo. But in the end, what you're really highlighting is that you're thinking about yourself, instead of thinking about your constituents and the American people. We've been lamenting this for quite some time. It's just become a bit more flagrant with Trump in office because you have

so many people who hate him, and you have so many people he hate, he hates, that ultimately it comes down to the American citizen being a distant third on the chart of things that you should prioritize. You even saw that just the last, the other day, with the Deputy Attorney General, Todd Blanche making a comment that they've gotten rid of bragging, they've gotten rid of everyone who has helped in the prosecution or investigation of the President of the United States, suggesting that in order for you to be a good public servant and the executive branch, you have to have the ultimate loyalty to the President of the United States.

I was a prosecutor, and I would say Laura Pote's on behalf of the POTUS, it was the people of the United States, not the president. And so you have this idea that you're supposed to have loyalty to the wrong person. We're not supposed to be a nation where one person is king and the rest of everyone takes a knee. Yes. I'm in California. I'm in California, Bill. I'm feeling a little bit better right now. But I have to confess to you that over the last couple of weeks, I threw up about three times watching these damn people.

people working for Trump. If I see another one of these administration officials falling over Donald Trump, I'm going to lose my damn mind. What happened to just doing your job? If somebody walks, I don't care if it's Pete Hakeseth, I don't care if it's Christy known before she ultimately was reassigned. I don't care if this Mark Wayne Mullen, who's the new secretary for the Department of Homeland Security, I don't care, anybody but Rubio, because he hasn't done that. He's been the adult in the room. The vice president himself, if they went and got the president a cup of coffee. They literally are saying, I just want to applaud your great leadership. He's such a wonderful great brother. We are so lucky to have him in office. I mean, the kiss, excuse my language,

the kissing of his ass, is so, it's so nauseating. It's so noisy. And listen, I'm saying, I'm not saying, I'm not saying, don't do your job. I'm not saying if you believe in this vision, don't be loyal to him. I'm not saying any of that. But the fawning, they don't know breed such a flagrant level of distrust because if you fawn over him so much, you're shoving or throwing objectivity right out the window and then the chances of us believing that you would ever disagree with him or you would ever speak against him in any way on behalf of the American people. It's not something we can trust. I mean, it's all true. I couldn't, I couldn't argue with any of it. I'm just amazed that 10 years on people are just still that agitated about it. I just, I'm used to

about what? What you just said, the fawning. Yes. I mean, I was doing bits about this, you know, back before I was wearing glasses. You went ahead of the curve. You went ahead of the curve, but I don't know if it was this bad. I know, but it's been going on for a very long time. I just can't.

Like, he is who he is. I just can't get constantly. I'm not talking about him. I'm talking about all that. Endlessly worked up about the same things, which I recognize. I'm condoning them. I'm just saying, it amazes me that people are going to be like, Donald Trump is getting his ass kissed all the time.

Like, yeah, yeah. But if you stop. caring. And then you stop getting agitated. But that's, you know, that's the net in the tennis game. It's not going away. How do we still win the game? But it's not, it's not that, it's not going away.

It's growing. It's, I mean, it's worse than, I literally mean, if they walk up to him and handing him a cup of coffee, they have to bring, they have to give you a soliloquy about how wonderful and marvelous it is. But here's this thing. Here's the thing.

The Democrat, we're going to have mid-term elections very soon. Now, here's the stats that are important. Seven and ten people say tariffs have cost them money. Food is up 2.9% since January. Household debt, up 4%. Utilities up 6%. Obamacare subsidies cut 22 million people. The Democrats are not going to win this election.

The Republicans are going to lose it. There's a difference between not winning. and losing, okay? The Democrats can't not win this because of all this that's going on. But that's kind of... The Democrats can't not win this?

The Democrats? Not the midterms. They've invented ways to lose. Not the midterms. Okay. Not the midterms. Not the midterms. They're just going to say, let Trump win this one for us,

and that's going to happen. But it's kind of like I saw this game. You probably watched it because you see every game. Some, I think it was the Cavaliers, and they won. Okay. Like 138 to 132. And the coach after the game was pissed. His team won.

But he said, like, if we're going to give up 132 points, we're not going anywhere in the playoffs. He's right. And that's what this reminds me of. Well, that's because, to your point maybe, if you are simply campaigning on being reactive, if you're simply campaigning on somebody clutching their pearls and being horrified by what's become normalized, then you will not be successful at pointing out what ought to be. If you spend your time focusing on what the standards are, what the national practices ought to be, what the law actually says, what free voting looks like, what the idea of accessible and free democracy

and free press looks like, if you are active and proactive about those things, I think it's difficult for people to look a different direction. But if you spend your time assuming that everyone is going to be as shocked, as disgusted, and as willing to be worked up as long as they are, then that is the losing game. Look at your point you just made. You're shocked if people are still caring about it. If that's the strategy. I didn't say that.

I didn't say caring. I just worked up. I just worked up about it. Tomato. You can't. It's so different. It's so different. You still care, but you just, after 10 years, you just can't, I just can't get it up.

It, for me, it just. Wait. What now? for this issue. For this issue. I just, I look at it from this statement. I will say this. If Trump and the administration had stayed on the same path

and never sent Tom Holman in to Minnesota. And, you know, after the two individuals were unfortunate, they unfortunately lost their lives dealing with ICE and what have you, if they had stayed on that path and hadn't sent them to Minnesota to handle that, to calm the waters per se. And Christy Nome still was allowed to go out there

and spend about $200 million advertising ourselves and talking about DHS and all the things that it was doing. I think that they would be on a path to their own self-destruction. But having calmed that down, I think that it's still possible. And that's the difference. It can win the midterms. The message between things that matter. Those are actions that actually matter.

Yes. The ass-kissing and his craziness and that's just not going to go away until he does. Right. Anyway, other stories to cover, really important stories. Can you show the headline about Barbie? I thought I had seen everything. This was so disturbing.

Barbie sold a discount store, test positive for cocaine and fentanyl. Just when you think, it's safe to go back in the water. I tell you, this was so disturbing to me, and it's true. Apparently Barbie is into the drugs. And I don't know if you have kids who have Barbies, but we thought as a PSA, because we're always trying to do it. do the right thing for America. We would show you some of the signs,

would you like to see if your kid has a Barbie. You might want to look out for these. For example, Barbie, you know, she looks like a troll doll now. The paw patrol dog always barks at her purse. She's dating Lamar Odom. All of her conversations now end with the words, we good, right?

Um, her famous pink Corbett now has Florida plates and trash bags for windows. Uh, Bob the Builder, found her stealing copper wire from a job set. In the Barbie sequel, she's now being played by Courtney Love. Oh, uh, she told Ken he needs to get himself tested. That's... And she's sleeping in the box she came in. Oh, that's so sad. So, so. So, big, big story.

We have not mentioned yet. Let's do it now. Big Tech. Finally lost one. Finally lost one. A lot of people are just happy for this because they've never lost one. And this was a two trials. Went out in New Mexico, $375 million awarded.

This is against meta. That's Facebook and Instagram. And YouTube, I think, is in all business. But mostly it's Zuckerberg who got the headlines. lack safety protocols that allowed sexual predators to contact minors. And then the one here in L.A., we heard a lot about a young woman named Kaylee, got $6 million, claiming she was hooked on YouTube at Instagram. And the difference here is that they've always been safe

because there was a shield law from 1996 that said, you can't hold the companies responsible for the content. This is making the case. The app itself is addictive. They're making the analogy to tobacco companies. You knew it, and they have quotes, by the way, from meta employees like LOL. I mean, all social media were basically pushers. That's kind of a smoking gun.

So they knew they were doing it, just like the tobacco companies, and they did it. The counter argument is, doesn't all media try to hook you? Doesn't every product try to hook you and make you come back for more of it? Isn't that the American way? Well, this is a design defect, right? That they are thinking essentially that they're trying to hook, just like big tobacco, as long as possible the biggest audience, by confronting and trying to go after the most vulnerable minds

who don't have perhaps the wherewithal or the restraint or even the ability, plain and simple, to put the phone down to turn away from it. And so you've got this issue, what they were intentionally trying to design an app, whether it's the auto scroll or it's the infinite scroll, this role might be to make sure that you stayed on it, kind of like the way they would go after with Joe Campbell and everything else, young people. So I think this is a very creative and necessary

way to go around the Section 230 you're talking about that suggests that you're always going to be immunized. You can do no wrong because somebody else actually said the content. This is, I'm pushing the content. I'm making sure that you never can turn away from the content. Isn't that very much like big tobacco and on it punished? It's very much like lays potato. chips. Well, I can eat just one. You can eat just one? I can eat just one. Okay, but you... Things we didn't know

about, so we'll find out on this show. I would say this. Two things could be true. Everything that you just highlight is right on the money, and I get that. And when you consider the algorithms and how things are targeting towards adults, then one could easily argue you know you're, you've got malintent when you're targeting children because they're more vulnerable. And so your willingness to do that, you definitely need to be called to the carpet for it.

But in the same breath that that can be true, it's also true that parental supervision to some degree definitely needs to be something that needs to be addressed. There are a lot of people out here that are deadbeat parents, that they're not paying attention to what goes on with their children. That's why they think this may lose

on appeal. They probably will lose on appeal, or at least be modified to be a lesser penalty than it's expected to be. There's a problem with the tobacco analogy there. Because the parents are the cigarette companies in this analogy, because they gave the kid the phone.

I mean, this kid was on Instagram at 8. 8. Okay? You know, this is like, parents all over the country let their kids go to their room with the phone. It's like, go to your room kids and smoke cigarettes in your room.

You know, I mean, that's crazy. There's a level of culpability that has to be placed on the shoulders of the parents to the point where, you know what, it ain't just companies that need to be targeted. To some degree, you've got to investigate and probe into what role the parents played in assisting their children being vulnerable.

There was their dereliction of duty. Did you pay attention? When you're on top of things? Were you even interested in being on top of things? All of those things fall in line as far as I'm concerned if you're going to go to court. If a judge is looking at it, you should look at all of those things. I think it's a cop-out though in some respects to say that it's just the parent's responsibility. I agree. I'm a

not a parent. I must suggest. I'm saying that I am a parent and I I'm a very vigilant parent. I'm driving my kids. I'm the one who has the car. And yet, I've noticed that they know the words to songs I've never played. Now, how does that happen, right? They're in school, how many hours a day?

They're in sports or how many hours. They're in band or whatever else. They're in my car. They're in my house. How do you know all the words to this song? And I'll tell you, that's part of the idea of why... I'd like to know the answer to that, Bill. We never know.

As parents we don't know. However, that's how much. And so the thing about it is that is that gap, that question that's there is exactly where some companies say, aha, here is where I will find myself nest and make sure that it flourishes to take advantage of this particular child. And we do this all the time. We bring things into our homes that we don't know are okay. I don't have kids, so, you know, if I'm off base here, can't you say to your kid, how do you know those words? I do.

And guess what they say, I hear it. Yeah. Friends, people in school, people in school, people hanging out with, all of the things. On a radio. You've got a child and his mom. And so I say this not to say that parents should not be vigilant, but I say that if you think that companies that have a vested monetary interest in making sure that they can hook a consumer for a lifetime

are not looking for the moments of vigilance being let down, that's the whole point. And so why do kids drink? Why do kids smoke? But what I'm saying, Laura, is you're absolutely right. But the flip side to that is that doesn't mean that if you're a court and the case comes before you, you don't ask because

every parent ain't as diligent as Laura Coates. A lot of parents drop the ball. A lot of parents ain't doing their job. A lot of parents are out doing their own damn thing. And they don't give a damn about what their kids are doing. They literally say, hey, you've got a roof over your head, you've got food on the plate. Go live your life.

And they're not putting forth their due diligence to make sure they're actually parenting. And as a result, it has a harmful effect, not just on the kid, but on society because of the kind of kids you raised because you weren't raising them at all. When those kind of things happen, if you're in the court of law, you know, you probe that. You look into that.

You say, well, a case-by-case basis as it pertains to parent involvement definitely is warranted, especially in cases like this. Did you see what Sir Charles said yesterday about whooping kids? What did he say? Charles Buckley. You got to spank them. Oh, no, no, no. I've said this on many, many occasions.

I mean, luckily, I haven't had to in the last few years. But I'm a dad, I will whip your ass. Make no mistake. You act up. You act up. I'm a black man. I'm not, there ain't no time out in the corner. Not this way.

Oh, no, no, no, no. You act up. You're going to feel something. Okay? Make no mistake about it. Now, I understand in this politically, I understand in this politically correct world we're living in, and I call it the Oprah Fide Society

because it started with her and all of these damn explanations for every little thing that went on. Dr. Phil, Dr. Dr. Oz, and everybody in between. He came along thereafter. But it never changed in the Smith House. When I acted up, I got my ass whipped.

When my father did, he got his ass whipped. May, it's been passed down through generations. It ain't changing. You're saying, you're up, and you're a kid, and you're disobedient, you're going to get your ass with. They're going to be corporate punishment pulling a tree branch. No, they did that in my grandfather's days and stuff. Like, you're going to do that now.

But where you get a spanking in the Smith household, household? Hell yes. I'm for it. I'm not going to come to your house. Okay. You don't do that. I don't like to be spank. No.

That's the point, if they don't like it. That's why they didn't act up. I'm going to leave it alone. Yeah, this conversation is getting weird. This is Robert. We have only a few minutes. But you're a big sports guy, and this is a big issue more than sports.

Olympics. What do you make of that story today? That the Olympics have said they are not allowing trans women anymore competing in women's sports. I imagine this is going to be an issue in the Democratic primaries. It's another one where you can make Democrats die on the hill that they died on last time. If this is an issue within the Democratic

That's their own damn problem. Biological men should not be competing against biological girls in sports. Period. Period. I am a supporter of the LGBTQ

plus community. I don't want to get in the way of anybody's civil rights, civil liberties, or anything like that. But what about protecting the young ladies? Young ladies going up against men, you know, biological men. There is no excuse for that. And by the way, you know what, you could be, you know, Liam Thomas, for example,

was, you know, was a male and he was ranked like a swimmer now. Yeah, the swimmer. He was ranked like over 400th in the world. She. And then she, and then he became a she, okay? He became, you know, transitioning. And number one, well, damn it, does it really take an Einstein to realize that there's something wrong with that quick job? I mean, are we kidding myself? I know. But we're talking sports. That's my lane. And I'm telling you, there is no reason for a biological male to be competing in women's sports. We certainly don't see biological women transitioning and trying to compete in men's sports. I don't hear about that.

But is there, when the Democratic debates come, is there one candidate on that stage who's going to be clear like this, who's going to just say it outright like that? No. Exactly. And that's why they're going to be vulnerable after they kick ass in the midterm. That's why they've been vulnerable. All right. Thank you very much.

Time for new rules. Okay, new rule, someone has to break it to these Venezuelans who pour into the streets to celebrate their victory over the U.S. and the world baseball classic that we didn't even know that was a thing. No, really? Enjoy the victory. Just know that while you're hunking your horns and dancing the night away, R-CIA planned this as a distraction so Trump can take your oil. New Rule, woke ain't dead.

Here in California this week, they canceled the governor's debate, because some people were outraged that the top six candidates were all white even though this is what the people voted for and the people are 62% minority. If their opinion was Javier Bissera is fucking awesome, we'd know.

And for the record, just because the top six candidates are all white, it doesn't mean there's no diversity. I mean, I see all different types of people I don't want. You're all now that young people have started knitting to avoid spending too much time on their phones, someone must congratulate them for finding a bigger waste of time than social media. I mean, knitting made sense when we had to make our own clothes, but now we have factories of children for that.

Seriously, just shake your ass kids on TikTok if option B is to spend all day making a pot holder. That's all I'm saying. New rule, to save everybody a lot of time, the news media must only report when a member of the Douglassie. family isn't accused of molesting it. Also, you should change the name of the show from 19 kids and counting to 19 counts. I'm not kidding. New Role, don't make me look at a baby picture of your new grandchild.

They all look alike to me. I don't have kids. I don't like kids. And I don't want to see kids. So to me, this is the equivalent of sending me an unsolicited dick pick. It is. Now I know what women feel like. I have to pretend to like it

and also be amazed at how proud you are of something so tiny. And finally, new rule, given the increasing number in recent years of sightings by serious military personnel of unknown aircraft operating outside our current abilities, if at this point you don't believe aliens

are here and observing us, maybe you're the conspiracy theorist. Now, in the past, when it came to alien-like, I was like a liberal college girl whose roommate is a lesbian. Not sold on it, but open to the possibility. But look, my opinion changes when the information changes. Yes, there was a time when the only actual contact we heard about aliens

was rural people who'd been abducted and anally probed. But you don't hear about that anymore. Why? My guess is, the aliens gathered all the information they needed about us that they could get through our ass. It's where I'd look. But now they seem to be on to another phase. They seem to want to be spotted.

Why else this constant playing peek-a-boo with our military? And it's serious people now. Not hippies or hillbillies. Serious people. People with Mike Pence's haircut. Who are saying that they keep seeing things move through air and ocean in ways that defy our physics. military pilots who say, yeah,

I saw something doing Mach 10, and then it stopped on a dime and disappeared. That's not a drone. That's not something from another country. Even Elon is like, not me. Now, the government's official public line is, we don't know what these things are. But in private, what they say is,

no, seriously, we don't know what the fuck these things are. But they didn't leak from a lab in China. That's why in 2022, Congress had historic first-of-its-kind hearings on what the Defense Department calls unidentified aerial phenomena, formerly called UFOs, but don't dead name them. And again, it's not weirdos and beardoes saying this. It's the guys with buzzcuts and security clearances who are spilling the tea. And politicians who you don't think are crazy people like Chuck Schumer, Harry Reid, Marco Rue. Rubio, Kirsten Gillibrand. They're not disputing it.

Jimmy Carter said he saw a UFO. George W. Bush said, yeah, there are secrets about aliens, and no, I won't tell you. Barack Obama recently made headlines when he said aliens, quote, are real, but I haven't seen them. Former Director of National Intelligence, General James Clapper is on board, and our current Director of National Intelligence has indicated that she believes in the possibility of aliens. life. Also, that it illegally voted for Joe Biden in Georgia. But look,

if you don't believe me now, you will in June when Steven Spielberg's movie called Disclosure Day comes out. This, on the heels of the documentary from last year, called Age of Disclosure. You get it? Disclosure?

We're at the disclosure moment in human history. So can we cut the crap? They're here. They came in a sphere. Get used to it. So, if I may, I would now like to address the aliens directly in my capacity as the most rational person on Earth, which I'm sure they know. I'm sure they know everything about me. If they figured out intergalactic travel, I'm guessing they have cable. And so, as the representative of all humans, the first thing I'd like to say to you is, hi.

Please don't kill us even though you could. Probably just by pushing a button, and I'm guessing you think about it every time you see Jake Paul's podcast. Look, we've seen you go from zero to what the fuck was that in half a second. We get it. There's no sense trying to fight you. Two years ago, one of our drones

launched a hellfire missile at a high-speed orb, and it hit it and just bounced off. First of all, I'd just like to offer a night. apology for that on behalf of all humans. That was our bad. That was dumb. And yes, we do have a lot of dumb people here. Assholes, hotheads, shitheads, Manosphere morons, meatheads. And that's just the conservatives. Don't get me started on the woke. So it certainly would be understandable if you decided we were

just too stupid to live. It must be maddening studying us. Because we are obviously capable of advancements that aren't completely embarrassing like gene editing and cloud computing, but we're also idiots. We're the species that created the internet, but also the one that once broke it with this

chick's ass. So, so I don't know what we can offer you. The stuff that we think makes living here great, I'm guessing you're way beyond sex and good food and getting fucked up. I doubt if you

care about that stuff. Minerals? We got them. I don't know if that still interests you. You may be beyond them or maybe ours are obsolete. Although, have you heard about clean coal? But yeah, I don't know what we have here for you. Climate, we think ours is pretty uniquely pleasant in the universe, but who knows what you have? But just so you know, ours has trillions of viruses in it, and that's what killed the aliens. and more of the worlds. Just pointing that out as a friend. Because I'd like to think we are friends.

After all, if you wanted us dead, we'd be dead already. Truth is, you may be here to save us, not kill us. In 1967, an Air Force captain and nuclear crew commander who were there revealed an incident when something unidentifiable hovered over Malmstrom Air Base in Montana, and then miraculously 10 nuclear weapons suddenly became, disabled. Was something about to go terribly wrong and you stepped in? Whatever it is,

please do more shit like that. Please feel free to beat our swords into plowshares, because plainly we're not going to do it. Get us off oil. Get us off our phones. And AI, the father of AI, said there was a 10 to 20 percent chance of it being an extinction event, and yet we keep hurtling forward with it as we do with global warming. and the factory farming that causes pandemics. Look, it would be great if we could stop ourselves from self-destructive behavior, but the truth is, you should think of the human race

as Britney Spears. It would be nice if we didn't need a conservatorship, but in reality, we really do. Thank you, aliens. Thank you, people. That's our show. We're off next week, and back on April 10th. I want to thank Stephen A. Smith,

Laura Coates, and Senator Alyssa Slotkin. and is on every Monday on YouTube or listen to wherever you get your podcasts. Now go watch overtime on YouTube. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Catch all new episodes of Real Time with Bill Maher every Friday night at 10 or watch them anytime on HBO On Demand.

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