Real Time with Bill Maher - Ep. #729: John Fetterman, Dan Crenshaw, Donna Brazile

Episode Date: May 9, 2026

Bill’s guests are John Fetterman, Dan Crenshaw, Donna Brazile (Originally aired 5/8/26) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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free of charge. BetMGEMGEMP operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming, Ontario. Welcome to an HBO podcast. from the HBO late-night series, Real Time with Bill Ma. Peace at last, we have an agreement, a deal, a peace deal, not the Iran War, Blake lively and Justin Baldone. That's what I'm talking about. Man, were you reading about this for like a year when all this, all this arguing and suing,

and then it turns out no settlement money at all. Just over a movie called It Ends with Us That Everybody Hated. Did you see that movie? it was harder to get through than the Strait of Hormuz. Yes, okay, well, the war, okay, so we are officially ended with Operation Epic Fury, and now we have moved on to Project Freedom, which is also over. No, I'm not kidding. That was...

Project Freedom, that was our attempt to escort the ships through the Strait of Hormuz, where there are now 1,800 ships stuck. Last person who needed this many escorts was Hunter Biden. But Iran, yeah, they are blocking the strait, and they say they're going to collect tolls now of all the ships, and Trump is furious. Furious that he didn't think of it first is what he's... So it's a game of chicken,

and Trump said he wants the Iranian to know. America does not blink. Lose interest and wander away? Yes, we do that all the time, but we don't do. We kind of have to because we've apparently used up all our missiles. Yeah, they found Not all, but our stockpile is greatly depleted. This is so ridiculous.

America, the most strapped country in the world, ran out of bombs. It's like ditty running out of baby oil. I mean, let's not be gloomy. It's Mother's Day on Sunday. Do you have mothers? Very common. And, of course, there's a baby boom over at the White House.

You know this, in the administration. A lot of people having babies over there. And for the press spokesman, you've seen her, Carolyn Levitt. Yes, she just, what timing? She just had a baby, and they asked her, you know, are you excited to be a mom again? And she said, what a stupid question.

Do your research. Of course I'm excited to be a mom. Listen, if you are old enough to be watching this show, you were born when your mother could have an abortion. She had the right to have an abortion. And that is not the case anymore, really, in a lot of this country. So maybe when you write a card this year,

Thanks, Mom. You could have killed me and you didn't. And speaking of killing, apparently they found Jeffrey Epstein's suicide note. Apparently it was from the guy, his cellmate, who Epstein says tried to kill him. But he's the guy I found the note. And it says, they investigated me. And then in all caps, it says, found nothing three explanation points. Who does that sound like? I can't quite place it.

No, I'm not suspicious. I'm not suspicious, but the note does end by saying, thank you for your attention to this matter. Good news for Gen Z. We may be wearing masks again. Well, because you heard about the cruise ship? There's a cruise ship out there that has haunt of virus. Ooh, probably this is nasty.

Three people have died. Haunta virus. And the first report said there was a flight attendant who got it from the passengers. boy, suddenly spirit doesn't sound that bad, does it? But, no, but no, the flight attendant tested negative, which is good news, because it would be ironic

if the flight attendant had hantavirus and the cure was peanuts. All right, we've got a great show, Representative Dan Crenshaw and Donna Brazilla here, but first up, he is the Democratic Senator from Pennsylvania, and he is my friend, Senator John Federman, is over here. John, you're wearing your... good black. Did you have a speech on the Senate? I mix it up to, you know. Did you have a speech on

the Senate floor or something where you had to look your best? No, I like your outfit. I do. So I read your op-ed today, I think it was, in the Washington Post. And it's interesting because we often find ourselves sort of in the same place politically, I think. Exactly, yeah, where when your values haven't changed, but the party really has changed and it's kind of put you at odds. Yeah, you use the term increasingly lonely. You said you feel increasingly lonely as a Democrat. Do you want to unburden yourself and tell us about that? Yeah, well, I mean, some people think it's like a glamorous life, and it is not, at least for me. You know, we have...

Plainly. Yeah, we... No, I mean, I mean, I mean, I, I mean, From a lonely perspective, you know, things that used to be part of our values here as a party, that they're only shifted, you know, whether it's like specifically Israel and the Jewish community and now also the border security. And then also recently, the two longest shutdowns in history. And I've, you know, had to vote against the caucus.

I don't enjoy that. But we used to be the party that would always refuse to shut the government down. And now we now have shut it down and dropped a lot of mass chaos, and I just couldn't be a part of that. Yeah, I think we get the same charge levied against us that we're picking fights with the left. We're not picking fights. We're just not avoiding them. I mean, you used the term an orgy of socialism recently. You said that what you see in the Democratic Party. I do too. Yeah, well, I mean, you have, whether it's like the mayor in Seattle,

I mean, she's absolutely a socialist in New York, and a lot of these candidates across the country, and that's really moving towards that. And people that are proud to be labeled as a socialist, that used to be like was a smear when I was running my first cycle, and now that's becoming more normalized. And now I think that's a very dangerous slippery slope for us to be. And now I've spoke to people that had to live under socialism and or communism, and they are, like, they are morons if they think that socialism is the answer. You know, I've lived under that, and thank God we are now.

We already have a great deal of socialism, and I've made the point a million times on the show, as we should. All Western democracies are quasi-socialists. There are certain things that the government should do. You don't want the private enterprise to be controlling the Marine Corps, and Social Security and Medicare, Medicare, Obviously these things, we have socialism. They're just proposing something way more than that. And by the way, you said socialism, dirty word? Yes and no.

What really was a dirty word, which isn't anymore, is communism. I mean, this woman in New York, who is Mayor Mondami's right-hand woman, she tweets out, elect more communists. This guy, Graham Platner? Yeah, it's not a slur. I deferred, if I refer to him as a communist, that's his own term that he used for himself. Yes. Antifa and these other kinds of extreme things.

Now, that's his own words. That's not my view. And I'm not using that as a slur. But the idea that communist is not a dirty word. I think we need to pause here and say, okay, this is a watermark. This is a watershed mark, a moment in American history where we should pay attention. And my guess is because AI is going to be taking everybody's jobs, communism is only going to get more popular. Well, I sure hope not because, you know, like if our party, it's like that, it's that expression.

You know, bad ideas refuse to die. And now that's coming back. And a lot of this, the Trump and the backlash is making more and more things possible in the Democratic Party. and I'm consistently going to resist that kinds of extremes and those extremes that cost us in 2024, we all have to remember that we need to have an election against both sides. We're accountable for both sides in these kinds of states that really depend to deliver for the presidency,

and that's why I refuse to be an engage. I know how to pay the bills as a Democrat right now, and my colleagues and people that are running, whether for the Senate or the House, they are literally running on fuck Trump. I mean, that's literally, they have campaign commercials. That, and it's absurd. And we are getting to that point, and I refuse to engage in that extreme, those terms. Now, we have to find a better way forward, and now I've been punished to try to find value in certain views.

Now, like for the ballroom, you know, we've talked about that. I don't care about the ballroom. I don't either. Yeah, I mean, it's like... It's so stupid. It's such a Rorsch-ass test of whether you just hate. Yeah. Because, first of all, like we saw with the assassination attempt a couple of weeks ago,

America probably does need... You know what the problem is? I said it's either today on the podcast, which I think is on next week. It's the word, ballroom. It sounds good. Ballroom. Sounds like, you know, phops are pirouetting around. And if they called it the state dinner national center, it would be different.

But this is America. And we don't want people sitting in tents to have dinner. I mean, it's just, it's just, I mean, you know, I was two tables away at the White House Correspondents dinner. I've witnessed this. Two tables from the killing? Yeah. From the attempt, you mean?

Yeah. And that's, I had to see that I'm like, the entire line of succession was right there. and realize that we've put, there's real danger there. We got really lucky there for a lot of reasons. So now we need to have a more secure, more secure, to do these kinds of events, but I don't care about, you know, just build it. I mean, he won't even be president if it's even finished. Yeah, I mean, concentrate on the big things, the things that really matter.

Exactly. Trying to say here. So there's no truth, right, that you're actually going to switch parties because I know Trump has offered you. I mean, you said, I would be. be a shitty Republican. Yeah, yeah, that's, you know, and, you know, if I, if I ever decide to change, and I won't, I'll be, you know, have me on, and I will announce that.

But it's not going to, it's like, you know, I'm a committed Democrat, even though if I vote 93% of the time. With the Democrats. Yeah, I thought we were supposed to be a big tent party. So that's, I'm not really sure how I become an issue for any of a Democrats, just to having some different views in these other issues. No, you've said before you're pro-choice, you're pro-weed, you're pro-gay-rides, you're pro-labor. You also throw in there I'm pro-ribi and not bioslop.

I don't know why that has to go in there. That sounds like a great Republican to me, but what is your thing with, you know, look, and by the way, I don't eat fake meat either. I mean, my friends at Peter would love it if I did. But look, I mean, the science is the science. I don't think that stuff is really better for you than organic, real meat. It's certainly not better for the animal that getting killed. But as far as the science goes, but you actually want to ban. That doesn't seem...

Yeah, I just think, I mean, as I'm a member of the Agriculture Committee, and I really stand with our farmers now. And now, of course, we don't want, like, the factory farm situation, and absolutely opposed to amminal cruelty. But for me, if I lived on Mars, yeah, you know, those kinds of, that kind of, what's the lab meet would be a great opportunity. But for me, right now, like, it's... But you want to ban it? I mean, shouldn't people have the right to eat it?

It's like actively, I mean, if people have a chance to... For that, that, but overall, for me, I think, you know, someone that's really, I mean, we are just... I thought, you know, the really highly, highly processed food, I mean, that's exactly the instance of that. Yeah, but there's a lot worse, highly processed food. I mean, I could go into the supermarket and pick up. Well, we don't want to ban all of that. People have the right to eat what they want, don't they? I mean, don't tell the population of America that they can't eat what they want.

You think they're up in arms about shit now? You'll really have a riot. Well, I mean, overall, it's not a top priority for me, given everything else that's happening. right now, so overall, as someone that's a committed Democrat, I find myself isolated by my party as things continue. I'm going to just have play, you know, ball strikes and just... Yeah, okay. Well, you know I'm your fan, because the Democratic Party certainly needs someone to keep them honest, and it's the ban in the shorts. Thank you, John. I appreciate it. All right, John Federman, he's going to tower over me now.

All right, let's meet our panel. Thank you, John. Hello. He is a Republican congressman for a couple more months from Texas, author of the best-selling book, Fortitude, and host of the podcast, Hold These Truths with Dan Crenshaw,

Representative Dan Crenshaw. And she's a veteran political strategist, ABC News, and former DNC chair. Donna Brazill is over here. Okay. So, the mid-term elections are about six months away, and it usually happens the party out of power does well in the midterm elections,

and the party in power right now is historically unpopular. Mostly because of what I call the three eyes, that would be ICE, Iran, and inflation. And it seemed only a few weeks ago, maybe months ago, that would be impossible for the Democrats to lose this election. No way. Well, headline today, way. There is a way, and it's because of what they do

when they don't win, they cheat. I mean, so this is the big story today, gerrymandering. This is gone nuclear, and Republicans are winning the gerrymander war. We talked about it last week, but a lot has changed since then. As you know, it started with Texas, your state. Trump said, gerrymander, Texas, okay, so they got like four or five new seats in Texas. California responded and said, okay, we're going to do the same thing. All right, so now we're, this is a terrible road to go down, but at least we're even.

Okay, now the Supreme Court ruled last week on the Voting Rights Act. Everything is different now. Eight states have new maps now. And five more are planning to. Texas, Florida, Ohio, Missouri, North Carolina. They're all now more Republican. These states that had districts that minorities were electing candidates from. Virginia did it on the Democratic side,

and the Supreme Court in the state said they can't. So that's a big loss for the Democrats. They're not going to get that to even the score. And Tennessee now. Show the map of the Tennessee. This is really what's going on here. Look at this. They've taken Memphis, a majority black city,

and they moved it into three different districts to dilute the vote. Now, I'm going to turn this over to the former chair of the DNC for your commentary, because I'm sure you have a lot to say. Well, first of all, it's always a great honor to be back here in California with Bill. And congratulations on the Mark Twain Award. Oh, thank you. I mean, you know, Bill, I can't keep up with you, baby. Every time I...

I go for months, Congressman, without seeing this man, and he makes all kinds of trouble. I have to come back in and clean up your shit. I mean... He's nice. He banks. I mean, talk about a desperate housewife. Come on, baby.

We need your own stuff up. But let me just say this, Bill. Let me just say this. The rumors that the Democratic Party is dead, those rumors are as old as Methuson. We have about 179 days. It's going to be a tough election. No question about it.

But you know what? We have a small tailwind. No, I do not like what's going on with redistricting. You know why, Bill? I'll come from one of those states that all of a sudden, the Supreme Court said, well, we don't like partisan gerrymand. No, we don't like racial gerrymandering.

So one out of three voters in Louisiana is a black voter. one on the three. And they're now thinking of eradicating. So that's as if people from some parts of Louisiana can represent New Orleans better than the folks who are representing or Baton Rouge. It's wrong, it's immoral, and it's unjustified. Bill, let me just say this. And I saw what the congressman tweeted today after Tim Kane. But here's it. I'm old enough to know this. What do you tweet? I don't know. Well, he's going to have... The King is wrong. He's wrong.

No, he's not usually. He's saying, well, the Constitution is... They made it based on Constitution. They made it based on... They said, well, the voters were already voting when the state put this law into place so that the voters can decide. The voters decided in, as you well know,

California, the voters decided in Virginia. Politicians should not choose their voters. But I have one broad place. Well, they've done it forever. We've never... Don't I know that bill? The Constitution, 1787. Wait a minute, 1787.

1787. I'm going to give you what Tim Kama. 1787, the Constitution. When did my family get the right to vote, Bill? 1965. 61 years ago. So my daddy served in war and could not vote for that.

My grandparents, my grandmother was 77 when she got the right to vote. Yeah, I'm on your side. Don't you on. Are you on my side? Yeah, of course. I know. You're on the side of the Constitution, you're on the sign of democracy. So, Congressman, I will let you describe why you went into Tim Cain's ass today.

No phrasing. I don't, you know, anyway, he's the last ass I would go into. Okay. Cain was, he was making the case in the Supreme Court doesn't know what it's talking about and that they're misreading. I pointed out that he should, I know, I know, read it. is time-consuming, but you might read the actual case that the Supreme Court wrote. It's very well written.

It's very logically written. It's pretty irrefutable. I mean, it was a 10-to-one vote. They're making the case that simply the constitutional amendment was in itself unconstitutional because of the process they followed. That's what the Supreme Court argued. It was not about the ability to politically gerrymander. Let's start with like one principle, just taking a step back here.

Your states can do political redistricting. That's how our federal constitution is written. If we're like a better system and we're smarter than the founders, then we can figure out a better way to do that, but it's inherently political. Every state has a different way of doing it. Some have independent commissions or bipartisan commissions. Even those are chosen in a political way, a political process. It will always be political, so just get used to it.

Okay. But second, one more thing to point out, to say we're winning, Republicans are winning the redistricting war, I think we're catching up. And if I can point to the facts on, look, let's go to Illinois. You've got a 14 to 3 ratio. Washington, you've got a 10 to 2 ratio. New England has like a 21 to 0 ratio. California, out of 52 representatives, they're going to have maybe 5, 6 Republicans.

You know, in Texas, we're 30 to 10. Florida is now going to be 20 to 7. Democrats have been winning this battle for a long time. I'm not sure about that. North Carolina. 10, 4. 10 Republicans for. 10 4 Democrats. Ohio, 10 Republicans, 5 Democrats, Texas, 25 Republicans, 13, and a state that is majority

minority. Can I just show? Okay. Let me just show you. Why does skin color, like, automatically impose political beliefs? Because race has always been identified as a political consideration, not only as a release to the Constitution of the United States, but also how it is implemented at the state level. That's why these districts were always drawn so that they, took race into consideration. So that's my point. Yes. But why? Why should the lightened society believe that? Because of the history of the United States. Well, it's a history, but as we grow out of that history, which I hope

we would have by now, an enlightened society would not say that your skin color are an immutable characteristic as an indicator of your political persuasion. To me, this is always the problem with the Supreme Court. They don't really take into account practical effect. Remember the Citizens United ruling about as much as much dark money as you want in politics and Obama was at the State of the Union and he said this is going to change everything in Alito mouth. No, yes. Yes. Yes, it did. They don't take this into account. As I said last week, I guess you didn't watch the show. They're not supposed to. They're not supposed to take that. I know. But I said, we're not living in the future.

It would be nice if that was where. And we are way, way different than we were. 20 years ago, 50 years ago, the world is very different. And I've certainly, I've certainly, taken my shit from the left for pointing out constantly that they are hyper-focused on race. And when they say things like racism has never been worse, you're just ridiculous. But we are also not living in the future. Show this map, please. This is what the map could look like in the south of what it used to look like. See those blue?

Those are blue districts. This is what it's going to look like now. There are districts that have been carved out so that minorities are represented. for sure. That is racial gerrymandering. It has to happen until we are living in the present, in the future, and we're not. And if you think that you're going to take away all these black representatives in the United States Congress without repercussions, I mean, you take away that many and have them, black people have scant representation in Congress. This is not going to say...

The new governor of Florida is likely going to be black. You know, there's... This is white. White Republicans are voting him in. Look, first of all, let me just say this. For most of my childhood, I was represented by a white female, Lindy Boggs. She was outstanding. Amazing. And when the moment came in history that she said, you know, I have served my time,

and this is an opportunity now to expand the electorate, to give more people a seat at the table. Look, we have black representatives, as you well know, who represents largely white. I mean, we had Utah, has had two blacks, not one, they're Republicans. And by the way, if you can elect more black Republicans, go ahead. I'll elect more black Democrats. We got a black Democrat out of Rhode Island. We got a black Democrat in Washington State.

Ain't nothing wrong with being black and living in Nebraska or Kansas. That's okay. What I'm saying, that in the software, half the black population reside. We should not be told that we no longer have a seat at the table. We do not, and this is my only thing. Bill, I do watch it. I watched him on Friday night, and I went on ABC on Sunday, hotter than July.

So I say, I got to stop watching Bill, because you really piked me up, baby. I didn't want to lose my job, you know. You packed me up. I don't know. I said, ooh, woo. And by the way, nobody gave us a voting right. We bled for it. Okay.

All right. All right. Thank you. You're not going to say by the Supreme Court decision here, so that people are informed about it, is they struck down this idea, and it's an idea, it's not written in statute. It's an idea that there has to be

majority-minority districts. That was not in the Voting Rights Act. There's nowhere in there that says that. You're right about the letter. It's been interpreted. It's become tradition. You're right about the letter of the law. But you know what?

Find a new law. That's why you have a whole book's behind you. Then write a new law. That's the process. We got one. The John Lewis voting right second. I hope you become a sponsor. We would love your support.

If the majority of the American people won this, and again, again, I would just, I, that's, okay. How many, how many kisses? Just one kiss? You don't want my foot. I'm going to kiss. Look, we need support.

Make it weird. Make it weird. And by the way, let's make it weird. I'm not weird. There's nothing about me. Okay? Hello, unless I'm in the kitchen

with my apron on. It covers like things, man. Okay. Look, the Burman Rights Act ended all kinds of schemes that kept not just blacks bill, but poor whites. Think about the poll tax. Think about the literacy test.

It kept more whites too. So it was important that we struck down those laws and those rules so that we could have free and fair elections across the country. I am worried that we're all going to be able to go to the South and want to see the SEC play. Oh, we got black athletes!

But they have no representation. Where's it? Oh, through the South. Who doesn't? I mean, you're going to see black athletes playing this fall, throwing for LSU, throwing for Tennessee, Alabama. But no black representation in Congress next year. My point is, you know, I am very disturbed by this.

I'm disturbed that we are turning back. at a time when America's about to turn two-fifth, I got my rare and white and blue gown, baby. You're going to take me to the gallon? I mean, again, the letter of the law is written for a perfect world. We don't live in that perfect world. I don't need to speak for the black population. You live in a lawful world.

But I'm just channeling. Oh, I can't speak for white people either, so you're okay. I'm just channeling the black folks I know. They like white people more than they used to because we're nicer than we used to be. but trust us, no, and I don't blame them. So there's just a lot of black folks who are not quite ready to vote for the white representative.

They don't understand their life. Because we are still a divided country in many ways. Yes, we are. I mean, when my friend, Killer Mike, puts out an album, I have to read the lyrics, and even then I don't understand it. I'm serious. that's to make a point. If that's the case where it's as different from English as Chaucer is, and that's just pointing out that we are not quite living in the future.

Well, if you want to start living in the future, you have to go back to original principles, and original principles say that immutable characteristics, such as slavery was legal. Skin color should not be an indication of your character. That's an original principle. That's a foundational, liberal principle. In a constitution, we're slay. was legal. And then we fought a war to end it. I know. Because of our Declaration of Independence and the values, those original principles that we stated there,

that was used as the argument against slavery by the Republicans. And look, maybe we need another period of enlightenment because I'm going back to all of those theories that gave us this so-called great Constitution, the Bill of Rights, and of course the Declaration of Independence. But let me just say this. As you all know, it took women almost 144 years to get secured the right to vote. Right. look, we just had to fight once again for a medication that is safe, safe.

The Fifth Circuit is saying that we should not receive our medication in the mail. It's medication. And people keep saying it's abortion pill. Women need to have full access to the range of reproductive health care. No one should die having a miscarriage. Okay. I have to move on. I have to move on because, no, that's a very important thing.

Oh, you got hard work. Wait, wait, let me tell you what this is. A couple of weeks ago, maybe a month ago, I did a whole editorial about aliens because, you know, the world has changed now. I mean, it used to be the people who were talking about it were not the most serious people in the world. And now they are.

It is the most serious people, military people, two movies, one is a documentary, one is the Spielberg movie that's coming out. They both use the word disclosure in the title. We seem to be at that place. Trump is on board with this. He keeps teasing. that we are going to see the files.

Well, today was the day they released a lot of the files. Now, some of it is probably nothing. Some of it is interesting that I never heard before, like the astronauts on the Apollo 17 flight, saw things that they were talking about that they thought was strange. Do you think they were really there, though? Oh, I don't know. But what I do know, and don't ask me how we got it,

we got a hold of the absolutely. We got a hold. I said on the top of this committee. of the stuff. Some of this hasn't even been released yet. Would you like to hear this is all about what we don't know about the aliens? Because that... All right.

For example, all this is so interesting right here. They never washed the anal probe. What else? Oh, their central computer is once destroyed by the illogic of North Dakota getting two senators. That's... Um, oh, they don't reproduce through physical contact, just like Gen Z. Oh. Sometimes after the anal probe, they say, now do me.

Oh, very interesting. They did build the pyramid and also gave us the Bible, but only as a joke. Oh, they were funny. They refer to the missing Malaysian airliner as Arbad. This is kind of sad. In the universe, we're considered a shithole planet. I find that. They have over 27 different genders, five fewer than at NYU.

They don't say, take me to your leader. They say, wait, this is your leader? And also, they want to know why the Michael movie left out the stuff about kids. All right. Let's say. I want to talk about the Met Gala. I have never talked...

I thought you just were. I know. The outfits are pretty much... Yeah, the aliens might have. You wanted proof. That's your proof. I never talked about it because I guess I never really understood it. There was a lot of controversy about it this year, so I'm reading about it.

It's actually a charity. You know, the show some of the people. I mean, this happens every year. The celebrities show up. they're wearing just the most outrageous things. I just thought, oh, they're celebrities. They're fucking nuts. That's what they do.

They're weirdos and they're attention hoars and they just wear weird shit. I've seen them do it in other places. No, this is actually a charity for the costume institute at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Okay, I never got that. It's like for poor people. This year there's a lot of controversy because it was apparently sponsored by Jeff Bezos. Spend $10 million for it. and they got very upset about this, the people I call the liberals in theory,

and some people said they weren't going to go. It turned out just about everybody went. And I guess the question I'm asking is, for the party that's always talking about money and that's kind of made making money evil, now I do believe that there should be an upper number that we tax on, that you can't have more money than, you know, some of these people have over $500 billion.

dollars. That's crazy. But I am the farthest thing from a socialist. I think making money is good. Wanting to be rich is good. That's part of what makes America. America, we conform to human nature, which is greedy. But you can't have it both ways. I mean, Beyonce was there. She's wearing a $50 million necklace and the queen of Kalari Diamond. Wow, I don't even know her. And I say you go, girl. I know her mother, but... You know what I'm saying? Call me.

I think I need to help her. I need to help her. Okay. Okay. I need to help her. No, but no, she's a little fabulous. But don't you think... It's funny.

She might have rented that shit, Bill. You know, she's released it. So they should be branded. I know. They give it to her to wear... And I say good. I'm glad. Everybody should be able to do what they want in America

and be as rich as they want. Not quite as rich as they want. I take that back. Don't steal my money, though. Don't steal the taxpayers' money. I'm sick of that shit right now. I'm sick of it. Just too many graph of green people stealing our money.

Well, I was saying this the other week. You know, the problem is that when Bernie Sanders says, millionaires and billionaires, it's so outdated. Millionaires? You know that one out of six households in America are millionaires? One out of six. So when you say billionaires and you lump them in, this is what I was complaining about.

Please don't lower my property value. Not right now, Bernie. I'm a little... But, you know, claiming you don't pay a... I pay a shit ton of taxes. Me too. It's the super rich who don't pay taxes. In fact, I call my husband Sam.

He's a paper man. I pay him. And by the way, Gladys, Miss California just gave me $4 back. I came on your show twice last year, and I owe them money, Bill. What the hell's wrong with you? You bringing me out here to pay your taxes.

That's not... Come on now. No, I'm... I mean, Bill, you're right. You'll love this. You know what the... I can call the Democratic capitalist. I said, because I owe my house.

I mean, shit, I grew up in poverty. I've earned my money. I've earned the right. I love my nieces and nephews. I've given them everything I can. I want to enjoy the rest of my life. Right. Okay?

But I also... Here's where Bernie makes. Here's Bernie's point. Bernie believes that we live in two Americas. Two Americas. And it's wrong that one set of Americans can no longer afford the American dream. One set of Americans keep, you know, working harder

and having to pay more. And the other set seem like the rules are working for them. So that's Bernie's point. He may not be talking in 21st and three language. He's got to update it because millionaires, it's like saying here's a dime for the phone. Okay, it's a quarter now, and we haven't have those anymore.

He's also, I think he's just misrepresenting the truth, so he's got to stop doing that as well. So, I mean, we just go from statistics. Like, where does federal revenue come from? Say they're not paying their fair share. Well, the top 1% pays 40% of federal revenue. The bottom, 50% pays 3% of federal revenue. Is that fair?

Is that proportion fair? This is a subjective question. We actually believe in our country, and we have for a long time, but there should be a progressive tax system. It's one of the most progressive, if not the most, in the world when you conclude state and local. So the rich, not even, that's not even that everybody plays their, like, 20%. No, the rich pay a higher percentage in addition to. So the idea that they're just not paying taxes is factually incorrect, just by the numbers.

So the question is then like what is fair? How are we defining it? Or is it just a populist rallying cry to build on resentment that people have? But would you say there should be a upper limit? In other words, if your personal wealth is worth 2% of gross national product, shouldn't we have able to cap something on the upper limit? No? A trillion dollars?

Why? Why? Where do they do it? Is that much that a checking account? The money's not a checking account, first of all. They're using that to buy. We're talking about Elon, because I think that's the only person even comes close to that. How many companies and amazing things as he started?

How many people do you employ? How many investments is he made? It's not like it's just sitting in a checking account. The guy's working 24 hours a day. Like, you know, and also that top 1% is a very full. fluid group of people, too. It's not the same people. It's usually made up of new people who sold their business. They worked forever to build and finally sold it that year. They get lumped into the 1% and then they're out the next year. And wealthy Americans can a faux accountants that can

find those loopholes. They understand how to get tax breaks when they want to move their companies into the state and say, hey, if you, you know, make sure I don't have to pay property taxes for the next 20 years. Look, the system is not working. That's why so many Americans are right now disgruntled. That's why Donald Trump is underwater, even on his wrong as attributes. And that's why Democrats stop your tax increases. By the way.

Shit. Seriously, you're going to close rural hospitals? We're going to take people off of Medicare. We put $50 billion into rural hospitals, literally put it into hospitals. And meanwhile, we can't afford health care for average Americans working $65,000 a year and you can afford it a lot less if you're paying more taxes.

All right. $2,000 more. No, the American dream should be affordable for all people. That's my position. And I know. And I still. I still like you. The facts,

health care is expensive because Obamacare made it expensive. They created a market that is completely unviable. I love that you believe narratives, folks. I love it. But you've got to look at the facts in health care policy.

What actually happens in insurance markets. Well, they have health care, but it is true that very often they can't use it. Because part of that is because the Republicans tried every way they could to rat-fuck ObamaCare after it was bad. They didn't even know.

The Democrats passed it and said, well, we'll read it afterwards. I mean, they didn't know what was in it either. Okay. I mean, they took out some of the kids. I mean, it was a free-legate stool. The only thing they got changed was zeroing out the tax penalty for not lying. You don't have a replacement for it. So until you have a replacement, we should keep what is working that keep America healthy and safe.

Obviously, not working with what he complains about it. Oh, yeah. They're complaining on over-cumptainter. And it's not just health insurance. There are people a word about their property insurance. They're worried about being to pay for flood insurance, all of the things of this country. Well, then why do you guys want to raise their taxes? We don't want to raise that.

Every Democrat voted against our primary bill that we all got elected and we did this first. Because you made tax cuts permanent. Yes, we made tax cuts permanent. At the same time, you have wars after wars after wars and we cannot pay for it. We're about to raise the defense budget to $1.5 trillion while we bring in new ornament and new ammunition and new munitions. We're not looking at the music. We're changing the subject. Let's do that.

Let's change the subject. It's a certain. Wait, wait, wait, I want to change this subject. To this subject. Because, I mean, depending on budget, they're asking for a $600 billion increase. That is big. In an age when we are finding out from the Iran, from the war, the Ukrainian war, it's drones, baby. And drones are cheap.

So what are we spending? I guess so. So it's not as crazy as it sounds. One, we're waking up to the fact. Nobody thought. that they could fight Russia to a standstill. I didn't. I thought they were going to lose that war, and they did. That is the nature of warfare.

The gatling gun comes along, machine guns come along, planes, tanks, and the offense versus defense changes, and war chance. We are at that moment now. Wars are completely being changed by drones, and it seems like we are financing the last war, as well as fighting the last one. No, we're not. To make you feel better, we absolutely are investing a lot.

into drones, drones of all types, from space down to the bottom of the ocean. Space is the new frontier. You know, China has known this for a while, that space is a warfare domain. We have refused to believe it for a long time, and there's finally investments in that space. And so a lot of this money is Golden Dome, a lot of this, which, you know, back in Reagan's days and Star Wars, like, the technology was not there, but now it is. But you've got to invest in it and put it up there. One of the reasons I've been in L.A. all week is visiting all these space companies. out here. Because LA has one of the, just has the ecosystem of labor that works in the space industry. It's flourishing. People like, and companies like SpaceX have obviously pioneered that.

A lot of investment in that, a lot of investment in paying it forward to save the tax period money in the long run. So instead of the stupid way that we often have bought weapons or new emissions, we pay more and more and more later because we tell, we tell companies like, hey, we might buy some later, right? And so what does that do? It raises the cost of production every time. So no, put a like put an actual amount seven years out. So a lot of it is paying it forward and putting that investment in now. AI is another big one that you have to invest in,

shipbuilding industry as well. So that's the reason for that massive increase and it's not obvious that it would be to continue to be that. But Bill, the problem is it's like a layer cake while you put on the bottom layer and then we've got a top layer and another layer. Well, this is, the bottom layer is going to stay the same, which is about $6,700 billion.

And then we add another two, I used to work on Capitol Hill and the defense budget. You know, it's like going to a jewelry store and you're like, I like that one. I like that one. I like that one. We need to have a new strategic framing for 21st century wars. And you're absolutely right. We can learn a lot from Ukraine, but we shouldn't keep layering and layering as if the taxpayers can afford this.

All right. We have to close it there. Thank you for all your spirit of discussion. Time for new rules, everybody. New rule. All right. New rule, we should all support. the police, but it does have its limits,

like for this officer, who was convicted of stripping naked and masturbating in a park. And I would just like to say to him, you keep your hands where we can see them. I would say you're a disgrace to the uniform, but I see you've sidestepped that issue already.

Neuro Baroness, the longest verifiably measured wild snake in the world, better not be lying when it claims to be 23 feet 8 inches long. Because if we We go on a date, and it turns out baroness is really 23 feet four inches. I'm going to be pissed.

I set it in my profile. No games, no liars. The next time a toddler gets stuck inside one of those arcade claw machines, the parents have to buy a couple rolls of quarters and try to win them back. Pay thousands of tax dollars to have fire and rescue, pull your kid out of a box. I pay thousands and tax dollars to have fire and rescue, pull lost dumbasses off the sides of mountains. New Rolls since the Metball and the Kentucky Derby happened in the same week, next year they have to swap outfits.

The stupid, ridiculous hats that people wear to the Derby, I want to see those on Kim Kardashian, Bad Bunny, and Doja Cat. And at the Derby, the rednecks who love the animal abuse that is horse racing must come dressed like this. New Roll, the winner of the European Seagull Screeching Championship must be referred to as the loser. Because anyone can screech like that. There's a homeless guy on Hollywood Boulevard

who does it all the time. You want to prove you can act like a seagull? Steal a French fry out of my hand while I'm eating it. And finally, new rule, Luigi Mangione, Cole Thomas Allen, Tyler Robinson,

and the ghost of Thomas Crooks must form a boy band called New Kids on the Glock. Just to drive home the point, these are not your father's political assassin. Things have changed. For one thing, today's assassins have popular support with the kids. Up to 40% of America's young adults say violence is okay to achieve a political goal.

Wow. Seems like five minutes ago when one of the big causes of the left was gun control, but now guns are the answer? I guess, because Luigi is a fucking rock star. He's the OG hot assassin. The young assassins coming up, even name check. in their manifestos. When this guy was arrested for burning down a giant warehouse, he said it was like when Luigi popped that motherfucker.

Before this college student threw a Molotov cocktail at Sam Altman's mansion, he talked about Luigiing some tech CEOs. And the asshole currently on trial for allegedly starting the big fire out here last year was Luigi's biggest fanboy. Good to see the kids have role models, huh? Another way, this new breed of content creator assassins is different. They have jokes. Cole Allen called himself a friendly federal assassin

and told his friends he was going to D.C. for a personal emergency. Wink, wink. His manifesto opens with, Hello, everybody. It sounded like that form letter I get every Christmas telling me how everyone is doing in a family I don't care about. Tyler Robinson wrote Little D. jokes on the bullets he fired

at Charlie Kirk. Things like if you're reading this, you're gay, L.O.L. I mean, John Wilkes Booth was an asshole, but at least when he did the deed, he said something serious. Sick Semper Taranis. Not I fucked your mom. Well, Alan took

selfies before enacting his diabolically clever plan of running fast. You know, Cole, why do I think this is more about you than the cause? You're running through the metal detector, but maybe you're really chasing clout. Alan wrote that he was consumed by rage thinking about everything this administration has

done. Yeah, join the club. Donald Trump is infuriating. I know this personally. That's why whenever I'm around him, I'm so nervous. I need a drink right away. If you're doing that much rage thinking about Trump, you're not really mad at him. You're mad at your life. This is about being 31 and still living with your mom in Torrance. Life was supposed to come out better. This guy went to Caltech, for Christ's sake. He dreamed of being a video game designer, but really was a substitute teacher. Do you think if he'd ever sold actually a video game and got rich, he'd be doing this?

Look, I feel for that generation. You guys grew up with the iPhone, which fucks people up, and now AI. No wonder you're always wearing a hoodie in the fetal position. Plus, as long as you can remember, the president has either been dead or this guy. So, sympathy for you, yes. But also, it's always been thus. Sadly, your parents and teachers didn't prepare you for this, so you have no idea how hard or easy you have it.

But because you're so entitled, you just assume you have it tougher than anybody ever did. You don't. In fact, your generation lives in historically easy life. You can get sushi or a weighted blanket delivered in hours. You can do your banking sitting on the toilet. They sell weed in a store now. In a financial pinch, you can sell pictures of your feet. Your biggest hardship is when the Wi-Fi drops,

and you have to briefly experience the 20th century. And yet you've convinced yourselves that your current level of discomfort justifies revolutionary violence. Cole Allen's life only sucked by his own unreasonable standards. He wasn't on welfare. He was on LinkedIn. For his assassination attempt, he stayed at the Hilton. If your assassination comes with Hilton honors rewards points,

Gen Z lives are not that bad. Most of our lives here in America are not. How we live right now in the year we're actually living in, in the country we're actually living in, doesn't warrant condoning political violence. I can see it if you live under a truly oppressive regime, communism, fascism, Catholicism. But that's not where we are now.

You're not storming the beaches at Normandy. You're not standing in breadlines. You know, just like our no kings we had here, the protests? They also had them in Iran. But over there, the protesters got shot in the street. And yes, ICE did that too twice. The Iranian thugs did it 30,000 times. Have some perspective.

Get real. Stop blaming America for all your fuck-ups. What this is really about for today's young assassins is when life lets you down and doesn't properly reward you for being the awesome person you're sure you are. There's one big save left. Convince yourself you were meant for a cause

bigger than yourself. And for Cole Thomas Allen, it was, I'm fighting Hitler. And I get why that's a tempting thing to cosplay. If Trump is Hitler, then you're Tom Cruise in Valkyrie. Nobody's trying to take him out. Yeah. I get mistaken for Trump in a lot.

It's a theme show. What can I say? But Trump isn't Hitler, and you're not Tom Cruise. And you don't really live on the desert moon of an evil umpire. You live in torrents, which I understand. is not exactly L.A. or London, but please, you're not in Haiti or Afghanistan. You're at

Coachella. Life doesn't really suck so bad. You would just rather be a martyr than nobody. The whole tone of Cole Allen's manifesto was, sorry guys, but America needs me. A hero has risen. You're not a hero.

You're just the guy who runs out into the field during a baseball game to get attention, and in 10 seconds gets tackled by security, except in your case. No, that's exactly your case. All right. That's our show.

I want to thank Representative Dan Crenshaw down in Brazil and Senator John Federman. Clubbrenum every Monday on YouTube. Or listen whenever you get your podcast. Now go watch overtime on YouTube. Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen. Okay. Catch all new episodes of Real Time with Bill Maher every Friday night at 10.

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