Real Time with Bill Maher - Ep. #745: Michael Douglas, Sen. Thom Tillis (R-NC), Sara Eisen

Episode Date: October 10, 2026

Bill’s guests are Michael Douglas, Sen. Thom Tillis, Sara Eisen (Originally aired 10/9/26) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you were someone you know is concerns about gambling, visit connectsontario.ca. Or call 1866 5 through 1,2,600. Terms and conditions apply. Where some see heroes and others see egos. Bloomberg sees the era of billionaire athletes. A fad to some, the future of money to others.

We see crypto's trillion dollar swings. The end of jobs or the end of human struggle. We see the endless funds fueling the AI hype. While others follow the noise, we follow the money. Learn more at Bloomberg.com. Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO late-night series, Real Time with Bill Maugh. I know I always said that, but because you're getting money. It's three weeks to the midterms.

It's that time when we give out money. Just coincidental, Trump is sending out $90 checks to people on Medicare to like 20 million people. Okay. And then people on Obamacare, people on Obamacare, they're getting a $500 check because he says Biden over charge. You never heard that. But okay. Amazing timing. And, of course, every adult is going to get $5,000 if the Republicans win.

I think this is what the kids call being thirsty. No, I mean, this is looking bad for the Republicans this bitch. Trump is campaigning in red states that no Republican usually has to campaign in, and it's getting nasty. South Carolina, this is a Democrat running Annie Andrews. He's been calling her Annie Tranny. She's not transgender. But she's a Democrat, close enough.

So, but, you know, Annie Tray. But, you know, Trump. He loves any nickname that rhymes. Shifty Schiff. Remember that? Shifty Schiff. Annie. We're just lucky her name wasn't Annie Munt.

That was not even the most controversial thing the president said this week. We know here in Los Angeles what that was. Well, you know, let's be fair. He wasn't trying to say, he said, let them, let them someone to rent, let them take out Los Angeles. He was saying, you know, gas prices are too high, the small price. It wasn't saying that we were encouraging Iran. But still, you don't want to say that, the people in the city, we live here.

Let them take out Los Angeles. Karen Bass, our mayor, was very upset. She immediately got on the phone with her travel agent. I kid us here in Los Angeles. New York, also, they have problems, too. You know, it was the third anniversary of the horrible attack in Israel on October 7th, 3 years. ago, and Mayor Mondami, not all that sympathetic to this stuff, but he did make some nice remarks about it. He's against it. But then he pivoted right to, but Israel made them do it.

You know, he used to be a rapper. His rap name was tone deaf. All this is not what's really big going on this week. What's going on this week? That's big executions. That's what everybody's talking about. Lethal injections, firing toys. Lethal injection. I sure, that's how we mostly do it in this country. It never works. But we keep doing it, and in Tennessee last week, they tried it on a lady, and it didn't work. So they saved her life

so that we could have another shot at killing her. Really? So now she's conscious and talking, or what Mitch McConnell calls, showing off. Gentle good humor. But I tell you, this is one tough lady when she

She woke up, she went, wow, that is some good shit. But they are... Man, they are... Tennessee, that's a hard-ass state. They are cold in Tennessee. And now they're charging her with resisting cardiac arrest. Anyway, it doesn't matter, people. Problem solved, because we're not doing the injections anymore.

We're going to the firing squad. We're back to the firing squad. Do you hear about this? There was a horrible jihadist, terrorism. absolutely in 2009 at Fort Hood's called the Fort Hood shooter. He's been, you know, in bars since then. Now, we're going to kill him by a firing squad. Pete Higgseth wants to do this.

He wants it live-streamed so that people are able to watch. So be sure to smash that like and subscribe button. Man, this administration, especially Pete, they always want you to know that we do not show any mercy to people like this. In fact, before they shoot him, they're going to have Will Smith come out and slap them. And you can tell, I think, this is, you can tell to tell. This is a Trump production because they told the sergeant in charge of the firing squad, when he gives the command, it's ready, aim, you're fired.

Ira Eisen. But first up, my first guest is what I would call a working legend. He's got awards, he's got stories, he's got a new memorand this week called One Hellen. of a ride and man was it, Michael Douglas. Boy, you look more and more like your father. You notice that? It's weird. It's scary. It really wasn't the case when you were 35 so much.

Not so much anymore. My father, remember later that your dad one day. You know, son, I was watching one of my movies on television the other day, and I couldn't remember the movie. I said, well, Dad, you know what I mean? That happens. you know, another other a sudden, you know what I said?

No, Dad, you look at me, you're going to say? No, I kept looking at it, then I realized that's not me, it was you. Well, I got to say, your book, literally, I picked it up, but I couldn't put it down. I was fighting sleep two nights in a row, because it only got it a couple days ago, you know, the embargoed.

Oh, man, you're right. Thank you. Oh, it's amazing. I couldn't put it. It's absolutely your voice. And, you know, the whole book is great, but some books have great first lines. Like, it was the best at times, it was the worst at times, the famous first line. The first line of your book.

When I was a kid, I watched my father lead a slave revolt against the Roman Empire. It's amazing. And, you know, I guess everybody else is going to go into, we only have 12 minutes here. So I can't go into every story. There's so many, the people, the drugs, the women. I just want to cut the small time I have I want to talk about the beginning

because that to me is the most interesting the part I knew less the least about how the child becomes the man right and you know somebody maybe it's you but somebody I think describes your father as being near a beautiful garden and also had a volcano his wife

his wife said that am except my stepmother because he had a terrible temper he had terrible temperature and it's so moving the way you talk about, as a kid, you had to be on eggshells. And I remember as a kid, my father wasn't that guy, but I knew fathers who were. I had an uncle like that. And I saw, I was egg shells around him, and he wasn't even my father.

Right. When he was over the house. And it was like mad about nothing. And it seems like that was such an important part of your childhood. Well, I, yeah, because the question of when to start, and ultimately it's our genes. And so I had this combination of, uh, of a Russian Jew immigrant. My grandfather, I had always thought,

came over from Belarus in 1914 at the time of Russian Revolution. And then I was on that Howard Gates show on television where you do your roots, finding out your roots. Then I found out, no, my grandfather came over from Russia in 2002. And he came over because he had two of the brothers that were bank robbers in Russia. And he was part of it.

And he got out in 1902. So the whole story about the revolution coming. No, he came over here, changed his name and everything else. Illiterate, illiterate. My father was one of six. He was the only boy. He had six girls in the house. The father who didn't give a shit about anything,

but he had a horse in a wagon. And so he used to tell me to you, Michael, my story was, you know, full arc. You know, of course, yours is a little to explain. But he had this rage, you know, this incredible kind of rage in stamina and endurance and passion. And then when he started getting work, his career just took over. Those were the days when you were making five, six movies a year, television wasn't there. And then I was complimented by the fact how opposites attract that in acting school, he fell in love with this lovely Bermudian British lady Diana,

well-educated and all of that. And she was a diplomat. The two of them kind of came together, and it brought those, I think, balanced me out. And then in their divorce, when I was only five, I had Kirk in Hollywood and growing up. And on the other side, I was living with my mother, and then my stepfather in a middle-class life in Connecticut.

Yeah. I mean, it seems like the book is liberating. I mean, why write it? you're 82, you've lived it. But, you know, we all keep secrets our whole life. And then I feel like this is a guy going, why anymore? You know, yeah, I fuck Kathleen Turner. What are you going to do about it?

You know? So I started out when I went as being a producer, the biggest influence in terms of learning about producing was a book called Memo. by David O. Selsnick, who did Go on with the Wind. It was the book of all his memos which shows you what a producer does. And so, okay, so I'm going to take 10 chapters, and I'm going to write about 10 of my movies

and tell the whole background and everything. And then I said, fuck that, man. I said, sex, drugs, and rock and roll. So I have the thing, you know, I have those chapters and all of that. But, of course, you got to mix it up with a little of your earlier life. Oh, I love the early part. And I think you and I share something in common about, getting through college together.

Oh, yeah. We, we, what it is, that we discovered that if you buy pot in one place and sell it in a different place, the difference in those two amounts can be very good for living your life. Especially between that. East Coast or West Coast.

Yeah, yeah. In my case, I had a great pot dealer, you know, who, you'd, if you buy two pounds, and then you divide, you know, a pound is 16 ounces, so I would faithfully divide it into 17 ounces. Right. That was called the head tax. But you took actual suitcases.

Yeah. Entire suitcases on a plane. What happened was, you know, what happened? When I turned 21, when I turned 21, and dad wrote me a check, he said, $10,000. This is great. Son, you're on your own, okay? I said, well, Dad, this is wonderful,

but I got a couple of years of tuition left at school. Yeah. And then he started, so I don't go. Look, Dad, no, I'm happy about it, son. You know, it's okay. Yeah. So, and then for years afterwards, I have three brothers. They'd have to listen to the stories about, look, your older brother.

He never asked me for anything, anything after that 21 years old. You know, nothing. And then, so the kids just have to listen to these stories at one time. I said, Dad, you remember when Christmas, you bought me two beautiful Italian leather, soft leather suitcases. And he says, yeah, I said, well, I found out, yeah, that each one of those cases could hold 22 kilos of marijuana. So, I would go back.

I used to see my mom with the clothes of my back and two suitcases, you know? I mean... This is called B-C, or B-D before dogs. Well, this is also at a time when Nipple babies, It may be NEPO, but not spoiled. No. Like $10,000?

That's what they get a week now from mom and dad. Are you kidding? I mean, I was surprised to learn you worked at the mobile gas station. Mobile man of the month. I won't... I was a boy. Really? Yeah, yeah.

But, can I assume this NEPO baby thing? Doesn't every single business, doesn't a father or mother want their son or daughter to go into the business, though they have everything I look aside and say so-and-so and sons. So why pick on show business? No, I'm not picking. No, you're not, but the logo is.

The only place where it doesn't exist is sports except for Brony. That's why I think people love sports. Because you do not get a job on the team no matter who your father was. There are sons of players or Lela Ali

and boxing. But it's not because they're the sion. It's because they can do the job. And there's no replace. I mean, it's the performance. But your path was not easy at all. Again, you had to audition. I mean, that whole

chapter about you living with Danny DeVito in New York and basically run where I live in your hell's kitchen. I mean, you know, these were not easy times. No, no. But at least you had casting agents

for one. I mean, now he used to go to a casting agent office and meet the real person. Now the casting offices are closed and you have to just send your film. Are you still auditioning, Michael? Yeah, yeah.

I think that's so wrong. My second time here. I mean, that's ridiculous, but it is funny because you didn't really want to go into it. You had terrible stage fright. You didn't think you would follow your father's path. thing I hated. The last thing

of course I resented it because the businesses took him away so much, the last thing I wanted. I grew up in the East Coast. I was in all-boys sort of private prep schools and this and that. And then the best and first decision I made in my life was to go to college in California in

1963. And it was exciting time. And one year I went from a preppy to a hippie. One year. And that sort of changed everything. But it's also funny how When we're young, we think we know everything. And when you look back, you realize, oh, my God, it was so obvious what my destiny was going to be. Yeah.

You know, I mean, your first job, you said, was gopher on Spartacus, getting coffee on the movie. You were in the editing room when they did Psycho, because you were on the lot. Wasn't just psycho. It was the outtakes of Janet Lee in the shower. Right. Right, yeah. But, you know, it just tells you, you were learning it, you were absorbing it, it was always meant to be that you were not just going to be a great actor

and a great movie star, but also a great producer. I mean, that's a triple factor that most people don't hit. Yeah, there's also, it's hard to know now because of streaming. But the track of television acting versus film acting was so separate. And it was so interesting, so that when I left the streets of San Francisco, got out of my early to produce Cuckoo's Nest. And then Cuckoo's Nest was a hit that made Romancey in Stone, China Central, and so as a producer.

I had three or four hits, but I couldn't get a job in the movies. It was really hard. So I produced a picture called Star Chamber with Jeff Bridges. I wanted to play the part, but I was not approved by the studio. I said, film actor because I was a television actor. Well, you're a film actor now. Thank you. And we love you.

And I'll see you later. Thank you, Matt. Michael Douglas, the book is amazing. I recommended highlight this Christmas season. Thank you, Michael. I appreciate it. Let's meet our panel. Hey, how you doing?

All right. He is a Republican senator from North Carolina, but retiring, right? Author of How to Lose Friends and Antagonized President is of Trouble with Sick Offense, Courage, Outsourcing, and Partisan Group Things. Senator Tom Tillis. She's, my anchor of CNBC's squawk on the street. Sarah Eisen. Sarah, how you doing?

Okay. Now, I mentioned that you're a retiring, Senator. 85 days. How many hours? How many? Yeah. Not that you're counting. Okay.

I mention that because I love it when people are retiring politicians. Because you just get a lot more honest answers. And you've been quite a maverick lately. Certainly since you knew you were retiring. It's just the best thing Apollettians can do is quit because the honesty comes out. So let's be honest about what's going on.

Let's talk about this execution that they're planning because I heard you comment on it today. I'm sure you have thoughts. It's December 3rd. And this is the Fort Hood shooter. No one would ever defend anything close to what he did. It was one of the most egregious attacks ever. He did yell Alahou, Abkhap Akbar.

So I think we don't have to worry about what the, you know, wonder what the motivation was. Okay. Pete Hegzeth wants to, and they're going to shoot him. On TV, I guess I gotta have to get Hulu, because it's on streaming. It's on December 3rd, right before Christmas.

You can watch it, then go to the mall and see Santa. You say yes, for the execution itself. You just don't like that it's public. No, there's no, we've got to stop that. This is bullshit. There's no way we should be doing that. Straight up.

You know, look, do we really want to be... Sort of shoot him but in private, you're saying. Yeah. I mean, look, he murdered a number of people, and you could argue back and forth about the death penalty, but this is not who we are. And I'm shocked that Hegg Seth has and has to be one of the people with the rifle.

I mean, this is performative at the worst level, and it has to be reversed. I hope the president will be better. Not even close. It's also what our enemies do. I saw a quote from you, Senator, talking about how, you know, you see this in Iran or you see this in, you know, Afghanistan.

Bill, I went to grad school for journalism school with a man named James Foley. He was a journalist who, I don't know if you remember the story, a terrible story. He was taken hostage by ISIS in Syria, and they beheaded him, and they sent the video out to everyone, a message to America.

And I never want to want to watch. another execution again it was traumatizing obviously this is completely different but totally different moral story here as you noted that this is someone who is convicted of killing US troops but I think no one should have to watch these things not even close their argument would be if I could play devil's advocate is that you know if you want to impress these kind of people you have to be as brutal as they are you know fool around and fuck fuck around and and you're going to find out what happens.

Well, you know what? I wish that Pete Hagseth would remember back when he was Ford deployed, one of the few management positions he had that I think him for, that you are putting our special operators at risk. You are putting Americans at risk, and you are building a recruiting video for more people doing what they did at Ford Hood. It's stupid on stilts, and he's good at that. It really makes me anything.

This is not who we are. This is not the warrior ethos that the American people expect, and it's certainly not what a lot of people I talk to in the GOD want. I could see it like burning a Koran. Like it could inflame the Muslim world. It will. Or make him a martyr, you know? Propaganda video, even worse.

No, we've got to work on ending it. Look, this is, it's a bad decision, and it cannot happen on December 3rd. The execution's fine. Even Vice President. Even Vice President Bance was sort of like, I don't know if this is actually going to happen. I'm not going to be watching it.

Okay. And a lot of the world is in flame to begin with. Have you seen France this week? I mean, this is kind of crazy to me, and I just wanted to ask, this idea that every grievance that anybody seems to have anywhere in the world just always pulls in the people with the Palestinian flags. I mean, what is that all about? I mean, this is about, started about schools.

That's right. Apparently the schools in France are in bad shape. I mean, same thing could happen here. The overcrowding classrooms, the buildings are falling apart. They're the same stuff we hear about schools here. Teachers not showing up. What's with the flags? What's with the suddenly it's also about this other thing?

It's anti-West, right? Anti-West, exactly. Go ahead. No, anti-West. I would say France, though, actually particularly, has a number of problems right now. I cover the markets on CNBC, and the market is telling them

that they have a major debt problem, and it's getting worse. And what happens is, these people are what started as protesting schools, they want more public spending. The problem is France is broke. They've done public spending for decades on a welfare state.

This is what happens. And then they bring in these prime ministers who have to make budget cuts, and guess what? They get rid of them very soon after. So it's kind of, is debt spiral. And I think the lesson for America out of this, because we have

a debt problem, too, is you want to embrace growth. France doesn't have economic growth. They have high unemployment. We have growth in this country. We have capitalism in this country. Now, these are the things that are getting, I think, France in particular, in trouble right now, and something for

the... There's a lesson there for the U.S. And that is all valid. That is the economic side of it. But what about this other side of it? This is what they would call the red-green alliance? No, I think people are high. This is fundamentally parents and people upset with their school, and they're trying to hijack it for whatever sort of a agenda they want. You know, I've even heard the administration say it's in reaction to mass migration.

I don't buy it. And besides, you don't buy that? No. Wow. I mean, we... You're getting out of the party at the right time. Well, now, I'm... No, now, to be clear.

Because there is an element of that. If you go back and look over the course of history, I've always been... untethered, but when I retired, June 29th, I got to be unfiltered. I can talk more like you. But before then, but before then, you know, if you're a politician,

if you're a politician and you're running for re-election, we were talking about this before the show, you know, the way you're perceived, it could cost you $5, $10, $50 million in a state like mine to clean up the act. I don't have to do that anymore. Okay, but I think you're naive if you think there isn't an element going on here

and everywhere in the world of miscarriage. Islamism as somehow natural allies of liberals. Oh, no, I agree with that. No, I'm sorry. If that's what you tell, I agree with it. That is what I'm talking about. You mentioned the third anniversary of October 7th this week. Yes.

That was, I think, a big wake-up call for a lot of people about the war that we are in for the West. And there were so many celebrations of it. I mean, you know, could you just leave that one day for the victims? No. There was celebrations all over the world. And the Western world is not working for a lot of people, or at least they perceive it's not working. And their answer seems to be socialism, communism, and fetishizing Islam.

I mean, Hamas is a liberation movement? Yeah. Not in my world. Not in my world. I mean, I think universities are to blame. I think bad education is to blame for this. It's just the occupation sort of idea of the world, the occupations. and look, they're in a fight. And I think this is what's been so frustrating and puzzling for

Israelis, is that they feel like they're on the forefront of the fight for the West. They are. And the U.S., and increasingly public opinion in the world in the West doesn't have their back. Especially the people who should be most with them, the liberals, who would not really be comfortable living anywhere else in the Middle East except Tel Aviv. Right. Right. But let me go back to your economic point, because the New York Times wrote it, I thought, well,

all goes back to a very simple, but very difficult reality for France, which is that this country can no longer afford its social welfare state. Very generous. 120% of the economy is debt now. Interest payment. We're facing the same thing, whereas the interest payment on the debt is going to be very soon in this country. apparently already in France, the largest part of what we spend money on. Right.

And yes, they do have a very generous welfare state. I remember Michael Moore doing that great movie about how great things are in socialism, and some of it is great. But, you know, the punchline of the whole movie was the people from France from the government doing your laundry. Remember that? Well, maybe a little too much doing your laundry, and this is what happened. Well, right, and then they protest when they want more spending, which they can afford. cycle because the people don't want to give up their perks. So now you have to borrow more money.

You have to borrow money to service the debt. That's what they call a debt spiral. And that's, and that's a problem. Luckily in the U.S., we still have the dollar, the world's reserve currency, so people want to buy our debt. But I think there's a lesson here. And if I could, part of the solution, and I mentioned this, is economic growth. And, you know, in this country and what Europe doesn't have is we have an AI revolution. I know you're a little scared of it, Bill, and we can talk about it. Wait, like just me. No.

Like it's just nervous Nelly over here. I just want to make a point, which is, okay, that it's legit, but it's also creating a lot of economic growth, and we have all these companies building all this infrastructure, and our ticket to not become Europe because they don't have that, because they have too much regulation, is that AI creates this massive productivity boom

that helps our economy grow, and that we can grow out of it. And they don't have that. Or maybe it's pets.com. You know, it could be a bubble too. You know, I mean, we've had tech bubbles before. We don't know that. It could end the world and be a bubble.

Well, you're talking to somebody who's got three robots at my house. Wait. I'm sorry. You have what? I said, you're talking to somebody who has three robots at my house. A vacuum cleaner, a pool vacuum, and Lorenzo, my backyard lawnmower. He's wonderful.

He's my friend I think that's wrong But I'm not sure It doesn't matter to me I like humor Okay so Our fantasy commission Says for him

It's all about the friendships Cute Kevin But I disagree Like with about 365 I get paid the second my team goes up big With early payout And can cash out at any time Before the game ends

No hard feelings Kevin Just faster payouts from Bet365. The home of winning early. Must be 19 and older. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you were someone you know as concerns about gambling, visit connectsontario.ca.

Or call 1866 5 through 1,2,600. Terms and conditions apply. You mentioned Pete Hegeseth before we did. You voted for him. Yeah. I mean, it's interesting because I said you're kind of a maverick. But, you know, I don't know, maverick and rhetoric, but not necessarily I see in some of the votes.

you also voted for Tulsi and Christy and Bobby. They don't even sound like serious people. Tulsi Gabbard, Robert Kennedy, and Christy Knoem. You had reservations about all of them, but you still voted for them. How do you justify that discrepancy between the rhetoric of the Maverick and the votes? If you take a look at it, I also pushed some people out, even before I voted on them. Matt Gates is one that came to mind that I worked with him to make him recognize. to make him recognize he couldn't do it.

That was one of the first nominees sent forth. You know, at the end of the day, I voted for a lot of, I got criticized by Republicans for voting for Obama nominees back in the last two years that I was there with Obama. I got criticized for voting for Biden nominees.

At the end of the day, presidents have to form a government. And I was giving them with the benefit of the doubt, but I was talking to somebody earlier this week. They're saying, well, you voted to confirm them. I said, I voted with unanimous vote out of the Senate Armed Services Committee.

Now I'm telling you I've fucked up and he needs to go. What else do we need to talk about? Okay. Can I think of you? Well, I'll tell you what else, maybe. One other thing. And, by the way.

You could have voted to impeach Trump after in January 6th. Yeah, I wish the Democrats had taken that whole process seriously. If they laid out the facts and dead away. Well, look, they didn't even, they didn't even have a trial.

They didn't have a trial. If you go back and take a look at impeachment, you let the defense. Very detailed. to me. I'm a process nerd. I'll admit that. But I also think, I think cherishing these institutions and cherishing the

Senate's pretty important of why this country's lived and prospered for 250 years. Just to to send the senator's credit, I mean, something that doesn't get talked about a lot that he did do. You know, you mentioned he voted for all these people. He

stood up for Fed Chairman Jay Powell. Yes. And you have... He held the admit. He did not pass the current Fed chairman, Kevin Warsh, President Trump's nominee. He did not get him through until they dropped that DOJ criminal investigation. And that was a huge deal in our world.

Yeah, and to be honest with you, the things I'm most proud of, y'all will never know about. It's using leverage quietly with Republicans, disagreeing with Republicans and getting things done. In the old days, that's how you do it. In the new days, if you do that, then you get a tweet or an ex or whatever they call it from Trump. And I just don't operate that way. Yeah, true. That's what I was looking for. Join the club.

Anyway, so it is, we have a big anniversary this week. Fox News turned 30, and we have done a bit on this show for many years. 24 things you don't know about me. We've never done it about an institution,

but we're going to do it tonight. 24 things you don't know about me. Fox News. Would you like to hear them? I knew you would. For example, our original business plan was simple. What if we took AM radio and added tits? Most of our unqualified journalists go on to become unqualified cabinet members.

Our original slogan was fair and balanced. The runner-up was white and frightened. Most of our programming originates from New York, but Sean Hannity occasionally broadcast from Trump's ass. We don't like to brag, but we've gone 22. days without a sexual harassment lawsuit. 10% of our viewership is young people trying to make sense of what their grandparents said at Thanksgiving. In 2019, we had to explain to Trump that while we talk directly to him

through the TV, we can't hear him talk back. If the connection between us and the Trump administration was anymore a direct pipeline, the Houthis would bomb it. Our typical Fox News viewer watches us six hours a day. Seven, if Hollywood can casts a black mermaid. Well, it's good to see you can laugh at that. I want to talk about something going on in your state, to make it a little lighter with all the bad news going on. Okay, alienation of affection,

because I've been following this story, it's been fascinating to me. I don't know if people know what this is, but in your state of North Carolina, and four others, they have this. It allows someone to sue if your spouse is banging someone else, I guess, better than you are. Kristen Cinema is the person who brought this to the forefront. She, you must have served with her.

Yeah, she's a good friend. Oh, you see any action? No, I'm kidding. Oh, no, you can ask my wife. But she is a goer. Come on. She was like, remember, she wasn't she bisexual? And then she's, okay, she was banging the security guy.

And who isn't these days? I mean, come on. It's just a very common thing out there. Okay. Anyway, somehow this is in the, this, I don't get it. Oh, it's all. This is insane. And by the way, they did not have sex in North Carolina,

but because there are texts. The nexus, yeah. While he was in North Carolina, this can go to a court? Why is this a thing to begin with? Why is this in the government's purview? Oh, you know, I had somebody asked me that several years ago after she was on a jury trial for four weeks, and she said, you have got to get this repealed.

That happens to be my wife. I think it's some of the dumbest policy that's still on the books in North Carolina. There are four states that are similar to ours, six states in total, but it's time to modernize our laws on this front. I mean, I look this up. It's 18th century common law in Britain.

Yeah. And it just somehow survived in a few of these states. Yeah, but it's silly. I mean, in the case, my wife sat on the jewelry trial, they got awarded a dollar. We just need to take it off. Look, if this is not, if we want good, solid, thriving relationships

like that one I've had with my wife for 40 years, you don't force this by law. It either works or it doesn't. Marriage? I mean, I feel bad for it, but... I couldn't agree more. Yeah, it's crazy. I mean, because you're asking a judge

to rule on whether a marriage had love left in it. Really, the judge has to decide this because then it's about whether this other person stole your husband? Like, it's not a bicycle that you can lock up. You can't steal another. That's right. It has nothing to do with Kristen Cinema.

But I'll tell you what, yeah, Carson is a wonderful person. She ran some great bills there, and it's a shame the Democrats forsake her and ran a primary against her because she was reasonable. You know what the lesson is. You know, Bill, how some people have to pay attention which states they're in, like for tax purposes, how much you spent. Now you have to pay attention who you're texting if you go, to certain states. I didn't realize. We got to get it off the books for tourism if nothing else.

I didn't thought of that. Yeah. It's amazing. But it's based not on where the fucking took place, but where your phone is charging. I mean, okay, let me ask about the midterms three weeks away. I get very excited about this time here before an election. Trump said this week, if the Democrats win, you will have an economic depression much like 1929. And I take it seriously because it's not like him to make something up. Just exaggerate. But for you, I want to ask, people think the economy is terrible.

They thought the same thing when Trump was running against Biden. He was able to prosecute the same case. And the Democrats were like, it's really not that terrible. And I think the Republican, there are problems, but it's not. And the kind of the proof is that consumer confidence in the toilet, but they keep spending. Yes. What's going on there? So here's what I always say.

Watch what they do, not what they say. They say they're miserable. They say they're lousy. But you're right. I mean, we look at credit card data. You can look at bank deposit data. Unemployment is historically low. It's at 4.2%.

People have jobs, and they do continue to spend. Why do they feel so lousy? Well, the price of gas is high. It's our gas, right? Well, people see that. You fill up your tank every single week. You watch the numbers tick higher. And so that affects your mood and the psychology.

And, you know, prices are still high, even though inflation has come down. So you do have this scenario where people are worried and they don't feel good. But ultimately, a lot of the fundamentals are good. And it's not just Wall Street and it's not just AI. And by the way, AI is a part of it. We have this massive construction boom going on that's helping jobs in manufacturing, in construction. and it is a major investment in our economy. It's not popular.

It's not popular. Building the Data Centers is really one of the few things that unites red and blue America. People don't like it. They don't want it. They didn't ask for it. They don't think they need it. And I think they're getting tired of what I was saying originally.

I do not like what an ass kisser that fucking thing is. I don't want it talking to me. I tried to program. I said, you have to sound like a robot because you are. a fucking robot. Don't talk to me like a human because you're not. We've, throughout history, there have always been fears around major technological changes, the internet, the automobile, the nuclear weapon. I know this is different. I know this is different. But we do not want to not be on the side of progress, and we do not want to let China get ahead of

us on this dangerous technology. We want to own it, and we want our best people doing it. And so I do think it's a little dangerous that it's become so unpopular. And now there are lots of moratorium on data centers, we have to build data centers in this country. Because you know what, they're not slowing down in China. Yeah. In order for Republicans not to suffer a serious setback on Election Day, we do have to recognize there is always an affordability problem in this country. The question is how many are experiencing it at any one time. And I've had this discussion with people in the administration. I've visited that trailer park I grew up in last Friday, and those folks are struggling.

So now it's, those folks vote, too. And so we need to understand that right now, a lot of people who have the financial wherewith auto invest, if they're smart, they should be making a lot of money. But the last time I checked, I didn't see a lot of Bloomberg terminals on Waikiki Boulevard, which is one of the towns I lived in, or one of the trailers I lived in in that trailer park. So we're tone deaf if we pretend like there's not an affordability problem. We're also toned up if we think the cost of energy is not hurting a lot of people and making people that are otherwise secure, feeling a little bit nervous.

But we're also toned up if we don't realize that we're $40 trillion in debt. And sooner or later, we even have to pay our bills. And we've got to be conscious of that, grow the economy, reduce regulations, try and retire a lot of that. But we've got to be fiscally restrained. We're going to hasten a debt-driven financial crisis, I think, over the next six or seven years. It's avoidable. I've got one more question for you. Since you're retiring

and we're keeping it super real. Right? Okay. I want to ask you about Alito. No, he says he's making noises like he might retire. This is very, very relevant because we've had a lot of Supreme Court history. So interesting, the history. Scalia, when he died,

there was 422 days left in the Obama administration. And yet, Your great mentor, Mitch McConnell, kept that domination until the next president was elected. Then Ruth Bader Ginsburg dies right before the 2016 election, and you rushed it right through. Now, if Alito quit tomorrow, you would have only until January before the new Senate takes place. So you'd be tempted, wouldn't you, to, like, rush that through just in case the Democrats won the Senate. So I'm just asking, it was okay when it was benefiting your party at 422 days, but then 46 days?

That was, that was for the other side, no good? You see what I'm saying about the discrepancy? In full disclosure, you're looking at the person who first signed the letter from judiciary saying we're going to keep the seat open. I'm not talking about the president's cabinet official in holding something open. I'm talking about a third branch, and we have advising consent role, and we advise the president. and we weren't going to consent with his nominee. So I think it's different. I think we're talking about the composition of a co-equal branch.

And if the Congress that has the gavels now decides that they don't want to fill it and they don't think that Obama's best candidate is going to fit the bill, I wouldn't begrudge the Democrats for doing the same thing. If we were talking about something... Is that how the system is supposed to work, though? It never worked that way before. We can go back. It's like if you were president and a guy died, you got the pick.

Now, I will tell you that if you go to the book, I'm saying we're experiencing political physics. I can build an argument saying, I feel okay with doing that because Harry Reid, after he swore he would never nuke the executive counter-filibuster, nuked it. He's the one that fast-tracked. So my old book is about the political physics.

I won't begrudge the Democrats doing the same thing if they're similarly situated. But I absolutely believe in the 85 days we have left, we should fill that seat. Both parties do this. They maximize power. I don't think the Democrats ever did that to a Supreme Court number. They've never had the timing to do it.

But, I mean, but Kamala Harris is already talking about adding, you know, she wants 13 maybe. She wants to do the filibuster and succeeds. I mean, and Harry Reid, as you said, he got rid of for judicial nominees. He got rid of the... That would take a constitutional amendment. It would never happen. No, it doesn't. That's the freaky thing about it.

You knew the filibuster. You could admit D.C. is a state. Puerto Rico is a state and extend the Supreme Court. it's not bounded by the Constitution. We have just governed ourselves with the current composition. Hell, we'll have 400 Supreme Court justices before we're done if we do that. Oh, well. You know what?

I think it's not illegal. I stand corrected. I think if you don't like it. I should. I'm wearing orthopedic shoes. No, I'm sorry. I'm just going to say, like, this is within the realm of what the Senate can do, and if you don't like it, then you should vote.

Okay. All right. Thank you, panel. Time for new rules. All right. All right. Trump must order the TSA to open a store just past security where they take everything they've seized,

the bottled water, the shampoo, the sunscreen, the corkscrews, the snow globes, the jars of peanut butter, and sell it back to it. We can call it Trump Seasons Save. Look, there's my Fiji water on sale now for $12.99. Do I feel ripped off? I do, but hey, still cheaper than Hudson News. I hate that Hudson News.

A new rule, men must admit that when we're so proud of ourselves for taking off our t-shirt and landing it successfully in the hamper from across the room, it really is nothing compared to when women do that thing where you take your bra off and pull it out your sleeve without removing your shirt. How do they pull that off? I still don't know. Now that execution, by way, of lethal injection, botched 11 times in the last five years,

we really do need a rule that if you survive lethal injection, you get to go free. It's only fair. It's only fair. The state had it shot, literally, and they fucked it up. You don't get to keep trying until you finally get it. It's not wordal. No rule, someone has to break it to the mom and parent diaries

who laments that birthday parties are disappearing and kids just don't seem to be having them anymore. Oh, they're having them. Your kid's just not invited. It's kind of like how you are also not invited to your husband's boys' night out. But that doesn't mean no women are. Well, the man who works as Brazil's testicular cancer...

They have it. Testicular Cancer Awareness mascot, Sénior Testiculo. And the guy who works as Brazil's coloproctology mascot, Anus. They couldn't come up with a better mascot name the name. It's okay. They must meet up for drinks after work.

Come on, you two are practically neighbors. You probably bumped into each other before and didn't even know. And I know a great bar that's close to both of you. It's called the taint. Okay. Now that everyone is talking about Cornell, stop asking me about it just because I went there. First of all, I graduated almost 10 years ago.

How would I know what's going to? What I do know is this alleged gang but the Cornell Chi Five Frat House is deeply disturbing, but since it's my alma mater, where I walked those hallowed halls for four years with so many memories, I don't want to let my personal feelings get in the way, because they're all bad.

Cornell sucks and I fucking hated it, and I'm glad to see them eating a shit sandwich. In fairness, Cornell did give me a very good education, the kind they don't do anymore. And also, this shit could have happened anywhere there are fraternities because it happens Everywhere there are fraternities. Any place that's all male, no girls allowed,

just doesn't function without depravity. Ask the Catholic Church. Ask the Taliban. Human nature is bad, and the best we can do is create institutions that don't make it so easy to be worse. And a great place to start would be getting rid of Greek life, which, despite the Togas,

is not a precious legacy handed down from ancient Greece. It started in 1825, 3,000 years after the invention of pants in the cradle of democracies, Schenectady. There's no law that says we have to keep something alive just because it's 200 years old. I mean, besides Chuck Grassley. I'm sorry. I know, I know he is.

And he'd be the close to half. Okay. I doubt it. Everything that's inherently bad about men gets worse if you put them in a fraternity. The drinking gets worse, the cruelty, the treatment of women, the tribalism, the peer pressure, one-upmanship, conformity, segregation, nepotism, bullying, elitism, and just general assholery. Boat shoes, for example.

And hypocrisy. Yeah, fraternity mission statements love to use the word gentleman. Well, in this current Jane Doe case, a young woman made a bad decision as 20-year-old. do when she went to a frat house drunk and did ketamine. And for that, she claims to have paid a price. No woman should have to pay. Now, no one wasn't there. No one was there.

Knows what happened. But I do know what a gentleman is. A gentleman, gentleman, gentleman, is someone who in that situation doesn't exploit the woman. He saves her. That's a gentleman. Kai Fai says, our mission is to build better men. Hmm.

And you think we do that by hazing? Why are we still allowing that in 2026? In this century, so far, there have been 128 college hazing deaths. Deaths! Kids have died from being repeatedly punched in the chest, from hypothermia, alcohol poisoning, traumatic brain injury, dehydration, drowning, inhaling nitrate's oxide, asphyxia. Can you imagine if a place of employment made the condition for a new job that you had to first I don't know, eat mayonnaise out of a toilet.

We locked in a coffin, but put a bunch of guys together in matching sweatshirts, and suddenly it's relax, it's a tradition. It's cool because the older guys did it to us. You know what an elephant walk is? Well, there's no real hard evidence, but lots of rumors that this goes on at colleges when you're rushing a frat.

It's where all the guys walk in line naked with their thumb up the air. of the guy in front of them. You know, for bonding. You know how my friends and I bonded by making fun of frat guys? It was always a great way to make friends. The type you can look in the eye later in life

without thinking about the time they had their thumb up your ass. I tell you, for places that are so woke, colleges foster a lot of shitty behavior. Speaking of which, as long as we're getting rid of fraternities, let's throw in the sororities, too.

They're just bitch factories producing the carins of tomorrow. They also take the bad inclinations of human behavior, in this case, female behavior, and make it worse. Clicks, popularity contests,

meme girlism, social climbing, insecurity, backstabbing, body shaming. We took a vote and decided your thighs are just not kappa-cappa-cata-feta material. Sorry. Have you seen those sorority recruitment videos? Forty strippers... I'm sorry.

I mean 40 co-eds. Doing a synchronized dance in front of a mansion. What major is this? If this were my daughter, I'd say, you know, I'm glad you've found friends at TikTok University, honey, but give me back my 80 grand. It's funny, in 2023, when the Supreme Court ruled that colleges can't use race-based admissions anymore, the counter argument from universities was, how can you? Diversity is the most important thing we do here. Okay, then why all these segregated housing on campuses? Cornell has program houses for every identity.

group, Black, Hispanic, Native American, gay. Which is really crazy, because as we've seen, we don't need a gay fraternity. Fraternities are already gay. Harvard said, quote, diversity and difference are essential to academic excellence. Right. Diversity and difference are essential. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be joining a house

with 40 people who look exactly like me. No. College is supposed to be where you go to expose your mind to new ideas and to drugs that give you even newer ideas. Don't coddle the kids and put them where they're most comfortable with the same people they grew up with in their own hometowns. Your roommate should be someone whose food smells weird to you for the first three weeks, and by Thanksgiving you're at his house eating it.

Make the atheist have a Mormon roommate. Give the Republican a lesbian. and give the rich kid somebody who has a job. All right. That's our show. We're off next week and back on the 23rd. I want to thank Tom Tillis, Sarah Eisen and Michael Douglas. No, random drops every Monday on YouTube or listen wherever you get your podcast.

Now go watch overtime on the very same YouTube. Good night. Thank you very much. Thank you, guys. Catch all new episodes of Real Time with Bill Maher every Friday night at 10. Or watch them anytime on HBO on demand. For more information, log on to HB. My rec league goalie says he plays for the love of the game. You gave up six goals last week, Steve?

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