Real Time with Bill Maher - Episode #361 (Originally aired 8/21/15)

Episode Date: August 24, 2015

Episode #361 (Originally aired 8/21/15)See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO late-night series Real Time with Bill Maher. I have to ask, how many are here only because you're on AshleyMadison.com and you just can't go home. AshleyMadison.com, the online dating site for married people who want to cheat

like I have to tell my audience, got hacked and they released it all, Like 37 million accounts they had it. And the data, I love this, it includes description of what the members, you know, are looking for. Things like A Little Anonymous Fun, someone to cure my boredom, looking to kill time when my wife runs for president.

And one of the people they caught was Josh Dugger. You know, Josh Dugger from the 19-and-counting Dugger family, the super-Christian family. He had two accounts. He was cheating on his wife. and he was cheating on the woman he was cheating with. And in May, remember this? In May, he had to admit that he had been molesting his sisters

when he was a teenager. I say forget building the wall around Mexico. Build one around Josh Dugger. This guy. But on the bright side subway has found a new spokesman. Oh, Jared, come on. Trying to get with kids.

And his wife divorced him already. She took those giant pants and threw him right on on the front wall. Where's Josh, Jared? Where are all my heroes? Bill Cosby, two more women came out today. Now, the list is over 50.

There are more Cosby accusers than shades of gray. And what is going on with Bill Cosby's wife? Even Tammy Wynette is, come on. Doesn't anyone just fuck anymore? I mean, I'm a libertarian on sex issues, but tonight

I'm just saying everybody here needs to go home and have vanilla missionary position Mitt Romney-style sex with the lights off and call each other snook-hams. Because,

and here's the thing I love about the Ashley Madison dump. The most adulterous state in America, Alabama. By far, it killed every other state, Alabama. And you know what? Can't say they didn't warn us. They said, when gay people get the right to marry,

the Christians are going to go, oh, fuck it. They're just, all bets are off now. Yeah, it must be so great to be an evangelical Christian. You know, because Jesus always forgives. But what you do? I ask Jesus forgives. Oh, there it is

again. He said yes. You know? Yes, I was in the late. In the ladies room of a middle school, banging a chicken. It was a moment of weakness, something, something, Satan, let's move on. You know, that... And this is Josh Dugger's second apology

in three months, and he made a statement today. This is what he said. I'm not... This is not my words. He said, I am the biggest hypocrite ever because I espoused family values and I'm a total pervert.

And that's why tonight I would like to announce my candidacy for the Republican nominee Oh, the Republicans are tearing their hair out. First, well, this week, first off, looks like the Iran deal, Obama's Iran deal, is going to go through. So, rough here, Iran deal, gay marriage, Obamacare confirmed by the Supreme Court,

and now doctors say the Trump that has been growing inside them is inoperable. Yes, Donald Trump, America's great orange hope. unveiled his immigration plan this week, and it is huge. It's a three-point plan called Cinco Goodbyeo. And here are the planks. Repeal the 14th Amendment. Seize the wages of illegal immigrants. We're working here.

Use that money to build a wall, and then deport all 11 million of them. Is any of this possible? No. but it gave millions of Fox News viewers their first erection in years. And, you know, nobody sort of brings this up about Donald Trump, who is always on about how we cannot have foreigners

coming into this country. His first wife is from Czechoslovakia. His current wife is from Slovenia. So if you think that crawling under a wall is the most disgusting way to become an American, somewhere there is a Panamanian woman hiding in a truck full of chickens with 10 pounds of heroin-filled condoms in her stomach,

who's thinking, well, at least I didn't have to blow Donald Trump. Great show, Mark Marron. Is he a representative, Donna Edwards, and Charles Cook. And I'll be speaking with longevity specialist Dan But first she is the senior senator from Missouri, an author of Plenty Ladylike, a memoir. Senator Claire McCaskill. Hey, Senator. To meet you.

I'll have to forgive me. I'm afraid that monologue was not very ladylike. No comment. I know. But it is an honor to plug your book. Thanks. It really is. It's a book with a lot of fun in it, but you are a very serious person, very serious senator.

So let me ask a serious question. You talk a lot about in your book having to get money to run for campaigns. And I always say there's a couple of litmus tests I have for someone running for office. One is, what are you going to do about climate change? And the other is, what are you going to do about money in politics? How can we get the money out of politics? We're going to have to amend the Constitution. Right.

We are. That's the right answer. We have to amend the Constitution. I think Citizens United is the most corrosive thing that has occurred to our democracy in the history of our democracy. Because it affects every issue. Every issue. In these guys, there's about 100 people in the country right now.

And by the way, when you run for president right now, All these guys, you wonder why you don't see Rand Paul as much, he's still shopping for his billionaire. He's like the only one who hasn't found a billionaire to fund his Super PAC. So they all have gone out and found billionaires. And this is a whole new era of really sleazy stuff that we don't really see going on. And these guys are putting big money. We've got to get it out. We've got to figure out a way to do this better.

And we can. We can. We can amend the Constitution and make it better. And this amendment, I think it should probably say, because the root of the problem is that money is not speech, that seems to be the problem and also the argument that the other side always uses, that somehow money is speech, and I've never really understood how that could be. Well, and there's a balancing test, Bill, because the balancing test is, what about the right of the people in this country to feel like they have a voice in their government? Right. What about the right? That is something that if you look at it from a Supreme Court balancing test, that is also an important part of our democracy.

If we keep doing this, pretty soon everybody's just going to stay home or it will become reality TV. Oh, wait, maybe it is reality TV this time. I forgot. Very good. Yes. Sorry. Got a little carried away there. So one other thing you talk about a lot in the book, which I like, is the military industrial complex.

Another issue I'm always up on here on this. show. I think that's something we have to tame. Obviously, this has been an issue since Eisenhower left office because that was his big speech when he left office. He said, and he was, of course, a great general who won a big war for us, so it had a lot of credibility when he said, the one thing we have to look out for is this military industrial complex. It was a new saying back then in 1960. Right. But what do you think we should do to tame the military industrial conflict. Well, I've been at it. I mean, obviously one of my heroes. I sit in his seat in the U.S. Senate is Harry Truman, who made his chops by, in fact, going out and ferreting out war-profeitering

in World War II. He is turning in his grave over what I found when I came to the Senate and really looked at contracting in Iraq. And we have now made a lot of reforms. I'm not telling you it's better, because this is really like shooting fish in a barrel in terms of all of the waste and abuse that you find in military contracting. But we have made some progress. We now have an independent inspector general in every contingency that is over there finding nonsense. The one in Afghanistan just found a building

that we built, that we didn't need, and we're now holding the generals accountable that approved of this building. We got a lot of stuff we built in Afghanistan. But no program ever goes away. The sequester, remember the sequester, knocked out some military programs, but they went right back in.

Oh, no, we've gotten rid of a lot. of, first of all, we wiped out the Afghanistan Reconstruction Fund, the infrastructure fund, it's gone. Been very hard to get rid of it. Why does the Pentagon budget just go up every year, no matter who the president is, Democrat, Republican? I understand something like that makes people think they're all alike. Right. Because they all think the Pentagon deserves a blank check, infinity, whatever you need, because I think they don't examine what goes into that blank check.

You're right. We've stalled out in terms of increases in the Pentagon as we've tried to spend less money. But when I came to Washington, I told people, imagine if your kids ask you for something, and every time they ask you, you said yes, what would they end up asking for? And that's kind of what it got to at the Pentagon. They were doing crazy stuff because nobody ever told them no from 9-11 forward. Now we're beginning to cut back. It's not as bad, but there's still an awful lot of work to do. But you must get crap from people who say you're anti-American, you're anti-you're not patriotic if you don't support every dollar that people want to go to the Pentagon. How do you fight that? You know, really, I, for one thing, I spend a lot of time worrying about what we should be worrying about, and that's the veterans that aren't getting the care and the services they need.

And so that helps. All right. So you're from Missouri, which has been the one. one of the ultimate bellwether states. I think from 1904 to 2004, you voted for every president except one. And then, starting in 2008, missed it by a mile. Not in 2008. Closest election in the country. But you didn't go for Obama. We didn't, but barely. In fact, I think if we recounted he might have won Missouri,

but that would have been kind of bad form since he'd been elected president. But it was a tiny sliver. He almost won in 2008. But did lose it. by like 12 points in 2012. What is it about him that was different? Well, I can't imagine. I can never put my finger on it. Yeah, I mean, we're a conflicted state. It's a hard state.

It's not a blue place. I like to tease my colleagues who give me trouble about some of my centrist votes. You know, come with me to Missouri, Barbara Boxer and Diane Feinstein. Let me show you what it's like in Missouri. It's a lot different in Missouri than it is in California. And how's the thing?

Senate these days? Has the sexism got better? I know you write a lot about that in the book, and some of it's kind of funny. Well, it was terrible when I was young. Now, it's not that, it really... Terrible in the sense that they would actually make comments? Oh, yeah. In my book, I talk about the Speaker of the House when I was a freshman legislator in Jefferson City. I asked him how I could get my bill out of committee. I was up in the dais in the House of Representatives, and he looked at me and he said, well, did you bring your knee pads? And so... Wow. That, that's... That's in the book. That's in the book.

What did you say back? I kind of laughed. I talk about maybe I didn't handle it right. Because I was young and this was in 1983. Right. I didn't want to... It is amazing what men were able to get away with. You know, maybe the pendulum has swung so far now

that, you know, you can't even say to a woman in the office, you look nice without worrying about the... Oh, no. We just had another intern sex scandal in the Missouri legislature six months ago as my book was at print. You know, so we haven't... gotten there yet. I will say, I've never been disrespected or marginalized in the United States Senate by my colleagues. I think they've realized the women that get to the United States Senate,

don't mess with them. I mean, we're pretty tough cookies. You're a tough cookie, and I really appreciate you doing this. Great luck with the book. It's a really good book. Blair McCaskill, everybody. Let's meet our panel. Hi, everybody. All right. Here's the panel. He is a comedian who just interviewed President Obama. Wow. On his biweekly podcast, WTF. with Mark Marron. Mark Marron's over here. He's a writer for National Review and author of The Conservatarian Manifesto, one of our favorite conservatives on the show. Charles Cook is back with us. Charles, how you doing?

And she is the U.S. Representative from Maryland's Fourth District, and a candidate, wow, for the U.S. Senate, Representative Donna Edwards. Good luck for that. Okay. All right, now, Charles, I said you are one of our favorites. You are. But I was reading your book. Well, actually, I was reading the part about me. And you were complaining, as all, by all the conservatives, complain about this, about me and most liberals, that were dismissive of conservatives,

the rednecks, the Tea Party. We think they're stupid and racist. And I say they're stupid and racist. But then, okay, so just tell me what I should do in a week like this, where the unparalleled leader of the party, now Donald Trump, unveiled a plan that is so stupid and racist. And it's not even addressing a problem that really exists because there is not a real immigration problem in America.

Net immigration has been close to zero for the last seven or eight years. And if his plan went into effect, lettuce would cost $25 a head. So when the party is embracing him in that plan, what does a person like me who's tempted to say it's stupid and races do? To not make you man. I think you should gloat to an extent. I'll say this. I don't think he'll be the nominee. I don't think he'll win a single primary. I do think he's worrying. Well, they keep saying that. Right, they do. They keep saying, oh, he's not going anywhere and then he goes further.

Look, it's worth, that's true, but it's worth saying he's not liked by 75% of the party, and the Republicans have to decide, are they going to be a party full of classical liberals in the old sense of the word who believe, in freedom for everybody, who believe in opportunity for everybody, or are they going to be the party of sort of white identity politics? And Donald Trump, unfortunately, is tapping far more into the latter. Why, I think it's almost

less worrying than you may doubt. There's two reasons. First, there was a good piece in the Atlantic by Connor Friedistorf, said, why are you voting for Donald Trump? And the reasons, they're very, very broad and they're rather incoherent. And so is he. I mean, he, today in Alabama, he just held a

he just held a huge rally in Alabama that was just not... I mean, he was on an LSD trip, essentially. There's no coherence. But the other candidates are now imitating him. They're trying to out-trump Trump. Ben Carson says he would use drones on the Mexican border.

I'm not kidding. He's going to incinerate the motherfuckers from the sky. That's just shy of somebody saying, well, what about camps? Maybe we could have camps. I there was a guy on the radio who said that the other day we should if they stay and they're

and we try to send them back and they don't go we should make them slaves the problem that the Republicans have is that it's bad rhetoric it's divisive and he's their guy he must have been molested by a gardener or something I don't know where this

I mean I But isn't he sort of like, just like, he's like one of the great American assholes. And I think that guys like him are very empowering to broke hateful assholes. And it's nice to know that that number and who they are, just how much of this country is filled with broke, angry assholes who are willing to do, you know, follow a guy like that. Except that you don't know where they're going because he's insulted women and immigrants and Hispanics and blacks.

who do the Republicans have left who are going to vote for them? Well, again, I would say, I do think it's premature to say he's the face of the Republican Party. He's got about 25% support. He's got very high on favor. Way more than anybody else. Yeah, but that's because they have 9,000 candidates running. All right. So, I mean, to be fair, you do have some people in the party who are pandering to him, which I think is bad,

and then you have a lot of people who are not. But is it fair to say that the Republican Party, in general, gets involved in these fantasies, about things that will never happen because none of what he's proposing will ever happen. We're not going to deport 11 million people. The CBO says it would cost $300 billion, take 40 years, and send us into a horrible recession. There'd be people outside of Home Depot looking for work,

but they'd be white. And it seems like you're always dealing with things that aren't actual problems that affect Americans, Benghazi. The latest is the email scandal. I mean, is this a scandal? I keep trying to be fair about it, trying to find some reason I should be upset with Hillary for using her, what, work server,

when it should have been her home server or vice versa. And I just can't find a there there, but I will admit that it has worked. Her numbers are down, because people don't pay attention to details, and the media creates a lot of smoke about it. Well, he's what we'll disagree. I actually think, I think you're wrong there, and I think the details support the skepticism toward her. If you look at both USC 18-793 and USC 18-1924, these are federal laws.

She's clearly violent. No, that's the detail you just mentioned. I think pretty much the American public is not going to go to USC 1893. What are those numbers? What are those numbers? They're part of the U.S. Code. Of course. The reason it matters to remind me of the blowjob. Okay.

You know, yes, yes, the heed lied under oath technically, blah, blah, blah. And no. Just to let me think, I do think it matters for two reasons. Firstly, I think it's possible that the FBI will recommend charges. Secondly, I think the fact that we all roll our eyes at this. What would the charges be? I mean, so she carried a cup, she carried a device. She used one server.

She did not transfer classified emails despite what all of the folks on the other side say. She also had an AOL email address, which is embarrassing. Well, you know, I have to admit, I have an AOL email address. Fox has spent more time on this scandal than they did on all the screw-ups in Iraq, where so many people died and we spent trillions of dollars, and where even all the Republican candidates admit it was a bad idea to go in to begin with. It just seems really out of... People love hating Clintons.

They love hating Clintons. And if they didn't have this... they would find something else. There is no there. But even if it's something, even if it's everything you say, is it as important as climate change? Okay, here's how I think it's important.

To spend all this energy on it. Here's why I think it's important is that we talk a lot at the moment and quite rightly about judicial inequality about privilege. Now, Barack Obama has prosecuted more people than any other president for classified information violations for national security violations,

three times, actually. actually, than any other president. And a lot of those people were lower level, powerless peons within the system. And somehow we think it's ridiculous that Hillary Clinton might be prosecuted when she's clearly, she's clearly violated federal law. That matters. But what is, unless the, what is on the email? Is she trading kitty porn with Jared? No. And she hasn't transferred classified information. You always have to stop saying that because she did not. No, she transferred information. that maybe later might have been classified,

which happens all the time. And that's not what the OIG said. That is the smoking gun that I'm going to pick up and blow my brains out because I am so tired of it. Okay. Let me move on to something you'll like. Because, you know, conservatives certainly don't have a monopoly on, I think, being unhelpful in the national debate.

Good example this week. Okay, for the second week in a row, a Democrat. Last week it was Bernie Sanders. This week it was Hillary Clinton. Got a bit of an earful from the Black Lives Matters, folks. We talked about it last week with our guest to Liam Cole. Okay, so now, I didn't say this last week, but I'll say it this week. There are people who say the phrase should be all lives matter.

I disagree. That implies that all lives are equally at risk, and they're not. Black Lives Matter is the right. But, you know, I want to read what Hillary Clinton said in response when she was being asked about this. She said, what am I supposed to do about it? In politics, if you can't explain it and you can't sell it, it stays on the shelf. I don't believe you change hearts. I believe you change laws. You change allocation of resources. You change the way systems operate. This is a fundamental difference between a lot of fuzzy-headed liberals who just don't get it.

and people like Barney Frank, you perhaps, yes, not perhaps, because you're in there. You understand you have to actually change laws. You can't just change how people think. Right, there's a difference between like a hashtag and actual legislation. Except don't, I think that's true. I think that, except that as progressives,

and I describe myself as a progressive, but it's not good enough for me to be progressive in my rhetoric, but not to have that acted out in my policy. And so, for example, for a Bernie Sanders to talk about Black Lives Matter and have a conversation about income inequality, you also have to recognize that it was banks that foreclosed on black people's homes in a different way than they did other people and incorporate that into our rhetoric.

And I think that that's the challenge. that progressives are having and that, frankly, white progressives are having, where they see a disconnect between the Black Lives Matter movement, and it is a social movement. It isn't just an accident. But Occupy Wall Street was a movement, too, and nothing got done, because they don't know how to take it to the level where shit does get done and changes. I think they changed the conversation. Occupy Wall Street changed the entire conversation around income inequality around what we're doing with banks and foreclosure and credit, they changed the conversation.

Now, Barney Frank changed things because he was the guy who actually wrote Dodd Frank. But Barney Frank took that and changed laws. That's what our job is as lawmakers. But it's okay for people out there to be pushing us to do that. They have one role, we have another. So you know why? Well, one of the, I'm with you. you on this. And one of the reasons that I was disappointed was that the activists that met with Hillary Clinton started the meeting by laying out very well what the problem is. They mentioned

the 1994 crime bill and that effect, especially with the drug war, has had a massively deleterious effect on African Americans. And then sort of Hillary Clinton seemed to say, okay, I accept that, Mayor Culper, I'm interested in taking this forward, at which point they said, don't tell us what to do. And she said, I'm not, I'm trying to listen. And then they said, well, if you listen, we don't know what to do, and even if we did, nothing will change. And I thought that was odd because they laid out very well what they wanted to be done, and then they went into this defensive position and said, well, we don't know anyway. Essentially, they said to her, you have to acknowledge this original sin, and there's no chance at redemption.

And she was the one trying to put forward a platform. I don't know quite what they wanted by the end of it. I know. It's so sad to blame the people who are raising the issue and the problem for the existence of the problem. I mean, I don't think, I don't think it's, I don't think it's harmful for a group of people to acknowledge that, you know, young black men die at 20 times the rate at the hands of police than their white counterparts. And to ask lawmakers to change that dynamic. But why are they starting with Barney Frank and Hillary Clinton? I mean, these are people who are sympathetic to this, who have worked their whole lives to change this system.

system. Why don't they go at it with one of the, as you say, thousand Republican candidates? I don't understand this. Well, I think they should do that too. Yeah. It's an odd choice. I think they should do that too. Now, I don't have to tell this panel that politics is rough in America, and you know, we here at real time are always looking for examples of the zeitgeist, and we found one. This week, there's a small town called Dorset, Minnesota, and it's a very small town. It's so small they don't really have a mayor. What they do is

at their vegetable festival they sell a raffle for a dollar and that's how you elect the mayor whoever has the most raffle and and so the mayor for the last few years has been Bobby Tufts he's six years old so now his brother Jimmy Tufts is running to replace him and uh... Bobby ran an attack ad against Jimmy that I just think

shows how rough politics has got would you show that ad please Jimmy Tufts says he has what a takes to be mayor of Dorset. But what do we really know about Jimmy Tufts? There's no record of him before 2012. He promises new ideas. Yet every time we play hide and seek, he hides in the shower. Every time. Jimmy says he'll be tough on crime, but he's afraid of the vacuum cleaning. And where were all his toys made? China. Jimmy Tufts. just another career politician. Call your mommy and tell her that Jimmy can run, but he can't hide.

Well, except in the shower. Don't let Jimmy Tufts do to our town what he did to his diaper. Here's the author of The Blue Zone Solution, Eating and Living Like the World's Healthiest People. Please welcome. Dan Boutner. Hey, Dan. How are you, sir? 104.

Yes, how old are you, Dan? 104. No, you're not. It's working. Okay, yes. Now, I wanted to meet you for a while, because I'm very aware of Blue Zones in your book. This is your second book on this. You wrote one, I think, about five, six years ago. Right. Now, this is a follow-up. And Blue Zones, for people who don't know, are those areas in the world where people live well into old age, and I mean old, like 90s and into their second century.

About a decade longer than the rest of us, and then as many as 10 times more centenarians than we have here in America. Right. And you wanted to find out why is this? So you went to five places, and I think one of them is in Greece, right? Ikaria. Ikaria. One of them is in Costa Rica. Right. Sardinia, Italy.

Okinawa, Japan. Okinawa. And the one that was surprising to me, Loma Linda, California. 70 miles from here, right off the San Bernardino Freeway, actually. Let me start with that. I mean, I'm so surprised that somewhere in America is a blues zone. What are they doing in Loma Linda? Well, they're Seventh-day Adventists.

Oh, shit. Yeah, I know, I'm sorry. A lot off the good start here. That's the secret, huh? I hate to say it, though. Oh, this is my last show, ladies. I'm obviously not lost for this world. But they live about a decade longer than the average American, and they eat a biblical diet, sorry to say.

A biblical diet, and what is that? Well, they take it right. Well, no, they take it right out of Genesis chapter 1, verse 29. God talks about every plant that bears seeds and every tree that bears fruit, and then one stands to later plants. So they're mostly vegetarian or vegan. Seeds are good. Seeds are good, yes.

There we go. Eat your nuts. Eat your nuts, right. And they tend to... And beans. You said beans is a key. Yes. Every place you went where people live long, they eat a lot of beans.

Right. So in Blue Zone Solutions, we distill. a hundred years of dietary research in all five of these places and on average they're eating about a cup of beans a day and if you're eating a cup of beans a day it's probably adding three or four years to your life expectancy maybe because you have less friends yeah I do stay warmer at night yes sure because it does something in your gut right isn't that what beans do I mean right why the farting is because they're actually yeah they sort of

they sort of make a mulch for the right Good bacteria, which is anti-inflammatory instead of meaty bacteria. So let's go through some of the other. You say there are nine principles that are common to all these places where people live so long, like move naturally. They don't have gyms. They don't pump iron. There are lifestyles involve always getting them to move.

They don't have convenience in the home and stuff. Yeah, when you think of it, exercise has been largely a public health failure in America here. And when you look in blue zones, they're moving about every 20. minutes. They have gardens. Their houses are inconvenienced. They live in walkable communities. They get way more physical activity, burn way more calories over the course of a week

than we ever would thinking we're going to show up three times a week in a gym. If you live in a walkable community, you're probably 30% more active than you would be if you live in a suburb somewhere. And less stress? They have ways to get rid of the stress?

Yes. Time-honored practices. Okay. Kenowans have ancestor veneration. The Icarians and the Costa Ricans just take a nap. You're taking a nap. It lowers your chance of heart disease by about 30%. And they're doing happy hour, which is kind of a two. Well, that's another one, is moderate drinking, you say, is a secret to long-health.

Well, we know that drinkers on a whole outlive non-drinkers, which isn't to say that if you're not drinking now, you should necessarily start. It's good news for most of us. Two, we see sometimes three drinks a day, and you can't save up all week long and have 21 on the weekend. And meat, not a lot of meat. No, no. On average, we're seeing people in Blue Zones eating meat about five times a month maximum. And we don't know if they're living a long time because they're eating meat five times a month

or despite the fact they're eating five times a month. It's a little like way my advisor, Walter Willits, is a little bit like radiation. Eating a little probably isn't going to hurt you, but we don't know the safe level. I think your advisor could find a much better analogy that's radiation. That's a terrible analogy. Okay.

And I want to bring this one up because, again, this has to do with Loma Linda. You say almost all of the people are faith-based, not the same faith, but everybody has some sort of faith. And look, I am not faith-based, but I get that. You probably, when you put your head on the pillow at night thinking if you die, it's going to all be good.

We heard Jimmy Carter say it yesterday. I'm completely at ease with whatever happens. I can understand why that is a peace of mind that I do not possess. Yeah. People blonde of faith may have a better social network or they may be less like it and engage in risk behavior. They do live a little bit longer.

But the real, the big idea here, what we distilled out of 10 years of research, is in none of these blue zones, did these spry centenarians ever try to live a long time? They never said at age 50, well, go darn it, I'm going to get on that paleo diet and live another 50 years. Or buy a treadmill or call on it. It's organic to their way of life. Yes, they lived in environments that made the healthy choice, not only easy but unworthy. So you think you can bring this to America? That is a tall order, my friend. We've brought it to 27 American cities, including Fort Worth, Texas, the state of Hawaii,

and it's actually working right here in California. Fort Worth gave up meat for beans? Well, not completely, but Betsy Price there, the fantastic mayor and the city manager, superintendent of schools, they've taken the ideas, the environmental components of Blue Zones, and they're putting into work in Fort Worth. And the idea here is if you unleash a healthy swarm of nudges and default, you're going to get a lot more done than you are trying to clobber people with behavior of change or guilt them into getting off the couch.

Well, here's a good question for everybody here. What happens if people live to be 100 with Social Security? Now, we're having a lot of problem keeping this thing solving with the baby boomers living longer than people have lived before. If they lived to that age, it would really be a problem. And I noticed the Democrats, I think you included, want to expand Social Security. Is that really possible? I mean, the Disability Fund is going broke, and in 20 years the thing itself is not going to have enough money. Absolutely, we can expand Social Security.

We can lift the cap on contributions into the Social Security Trust Fund. There's not a single reason. No, but there's not, look, there's not a single reason that I make $174,000 a year because that's our salary in Congress. But I only pay into the Social Security Trust Fund up to $118,500. So $56,000 effectively doesn't get, I don't pay into the Social Security Trust Fund. If we actually did that, even if you set a different threshold, we would keep Social Security solvent for years. It would be there for our children and their children and their children, and we'd be able to expand benefits.

But it seems like both parties have a stake in doing this. I mean, Chris Christie raises this issue. He said it at the debate. He said 71% of our budget goes to entitlements and service on the debt. That's what we should be talking about. That's a big man with a big idea. He has to live in a blues, though. Well, he is not going to make it to $100.

I can almost guarantee this man is... But I'd actually like to pan out on this idea of social. security in these blue zones in okinao home to the longest live women they don't even have a word for retirement this kind of false punctuation between your productive life and your life of repose instead ikegai my your sense of purpose kind of imbues their entire adult life who ikegai yeah not yeah what's that it's it means the reason for which you wake up in the morning oh we were just supposed to know that you drop that into conversation like i'm the asshole.

The point is they celebrate it. They look at older people not as a financial burden, but actually something they celebrate. They harness their wisdom. They continue to use it. And I think when we think about Social Security, we shouldn't be framing it as a debt, but we should be framing us. We invest

in older people and we harness their experience and their wisdom and we put it to work for good. Okay. Well, I have bad news about all nobody's going to live to 100 because the planet is dying. I know we talk about

climate change a lot on this show, perhaps too much, but I'm sorry, the planet's dying, and I'm just going to keep talking about it. This is just what I read, just this week. The air in China kills 1.6 million people a year. The sequoia trees, the oldest living

things on Earth, over 3,000 years old, some of them, and the biggest. And they've never really been in trouble. Through all that time, now they are. The Forest Service used to spend 16% of their budget fighting forest fires. Now it's over half. There are now 29,000 forest fighters fighting over 100 fires.

I mean, the state of California is literally sinking because the water has been tapped out of the ground so much. We're not so much of a state as a fire pit at this point. 2014, the hottest year on record. 2015, looking to be hotter. The heat index in Iran reached 165 a couple of weeks ago. I just wish there was someone on the left, a same person on the left, who had what Donald Trump has.

The ability to tough it out and say something like, we just need a carbon tax, because obviously we need a carbon tax. we need a carbon tax. And we don't have that person on the left. Well, I, because of the drought, I've almost entirely stopped masturbating in the shower. And they say there are no more heroes in America. Thank you, Mark Mer.

You're welcome. Carbon tax? It's hard to know what to do with that. Yeah. Well, you're going to be a senator. You should ignore it. No, I, look, I think... Carbon tax?

Please. Someone say carbon. Carbon tax. Carbon tax. You're for it? Carbon tax. I mean, when I first came into the Congress, we were trying to push forward what I thought would have been a much more progressive way to approach climate change, and that was part of the conversation. It's not now. But we have a whole bunch of people in the Congress right now,

especially in my side of the house on the so-called science committee, who just deny that there is an... such thing is climate change. Well, here's Donald Trump. You know what, Donald Trump's position on climate changes? The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive. But since he's not going to be the nominee, we should not pay any attention to that, right? Well, he's not the only one, but, you know, come on, Don. You know, you keep saying you're smart. I'm the smart guy. I'm really, really smart. It can't be both.

You cannot have this position and be a smart guy. And it's just, you know, the one thing I do love about him is his ability to just tough it out, to say what he thinks, never back away from it. And wouldn't it be great if somebody, maybe him at some point, got to that? All you'll have to do is wait until tomorrow and he'll probably come out for a carbon tax, which is how he's been behaving from the beginning to the end. Well, do you think, I mean, Bill, do you think that, like, that conservative, conservatives that actually, part of their vision is the deregulating and the privatization

of apocalypse management. That maybe they actually see this as a business opportunity. Well, but that's the point is that it's actually costing us more. Yes, a carbon tax would cost money. You know it would cost more, not having a carbon tax. You see, that I think is where the debate is, because there's a lot of things that science can tell us. The science can tell us, for example, that the climate is changing.

It can tell us that man's having an impact. he can tell us that the drought in California, which would have happened anyway as much worse, is what the time said today. What it can't tell us is what to do about it. Those are economic questions, their political questions. Now, if you take a view, say, that Carly Fiorina did, which is the way to get out of this is innovation, you'll be slammed by progressives who say,

no, no, no, no, no, it's not that if America does something on its own, which is what she said, that there will be no change. Instead, there will be a 0.018%. That was the number today on Vox.com, change over a hundred years. Well, that's not even within the IPCC's margin of error. You know what we could do tomorrow, and I'm a conservative... But you're big on the numbers, but... Well, yeah, I read them before I came here, but the point...

The point I'm trying to make here... It's your ability to memorize it. It's impressive. The point I'm trying to make before I finish is that Obama, actually, I think, is right when it comes to the forest fire question, in that he said, look, let's change the way the forest fire question. fire service works. They have a stupid plan at the moment, which is that if they spend more of their budget than they intended to, half, I think you said, then they don't do any preventative

measures for next year. They don't clear brush, which means there are more forest fires. So we could double that budget from a billion dollars to two. Likewise, we could try and stop those. I don't think that's necessarily stupid. I think it's probably more cost effects. No one would argue with that, but it's not addressing the really big issue. That means that you're not right. Well, no, it doesn't It means that if you look at actually doing something to prevent climate change, it's often a lot more expensive. I got one more question because of all the news about Ashley Madison this week. There are 60 million married couples in America, and apparently about half of them are boning someone else. What does this say about the sanctity of marriage?

What does this say about America which persecutes adulterous horribly in a way no other country does? I mean, France, those kind of countries laugh at us when we impeached Bill Clinton. We're really, we're like France. We're having the same amount of extramarital sex. We just won't admit it, right? I can tell you it's good for longevity. What's good for longevity? Adultery?

Well, no, if you're having sex at least twice, if you're over 50, you're having sex at least twice a week, you're only about half as likely to die in any given year than somebody who's not getting it at all. So that may be... But how strenuous is this? sex. That will require for the research. No comment from the battle on this?

All right. Suddenly, you have no statistics on this. I noticed. Suddenly, there are no numbers. There's no, uh, you didn't bone up on this one at all, did you? Well, the great thing about the internet, it's created a world full of sex addicts. It's just the ability to, to engage. and facilitate any number of devious or non-devious sexual behaviors

right at your fingertips for hours on end, if you want. Josh Dugger blamed his problem on porn, and I don't think that's unrealistic. I think porn has changed men's minds. No, yeah, you get porn brain. Absolutely. Yeah, if you watch enough porn, you go outside, and in your mind, everyone's fucking.

And then you're unable to function with a real partner. It's not a problem I have. Definitely. Not something the Senate can do anything about. You're right? You're okay. Let's end this before we ruined two Senate careers. Thank you, panel.

But it's time for new rules, everybody. New rules. Okay. New rules. Someone must warn Jessica Hayes, the Indiana woman who participated in a rare Catholic wedding ceremony where she married Jesus.

Not to expect too much from the honeymoon. I don't know what you said or the delusion that Jesus would even want to marry you or all those wasted hours striking a seductive pose on the bed waiting for him to come out of the bathroom. Neural now that Idaho has had to replace their highways' mile 420 markers with ones that read mile 419.9 because potheads predictably kept stealing the signs that say 420, they have to turn it into a math problem. If a carload of stoners starts out traveling at 19 miles an hour in the fast lane

and stops to giggle at the mile 69 how long before they realize they're headed in the wrong direction? New Rule, red pandas have to admit that they're actually plush toys. Nothing could possibly be this cute. Somewhere, there are a couple of baby seals thinking, well, we had a pretty good run, didn't we? New Rule, Hillary Clinton, has to stop always looking

like she's doing stand-up. Hey, what's the deal with Benghazi? Why do they always call about terrorist attacks right when you get in the shower? Although Jerry Seinfeld would be jealous of the email scandal. It really is a show about nothing. Neuro, somebody needs to tell Hardee's and Carl's Jr.

That they're not fooling anybody. Come on, guys, it's 2015, and you guys have been together for 20 years now. We can handle the truth, so... Let's stop pretending that you have two different places. Come out into the daylight and proudly celebrate your union by calling yourself hard carls. And finally, new rule, if the Olson twins

can charge $55,000 for this handbag, they can't make their interns work for free. That's right, the Olsons, whose company is worth a billion dollars, sell this bag made from the hides of other less successful child's darrow. for 55 grand while they're being sued by 40 unpaid interns who are just trying to get minimum wage. Well, they'd also like their brother Hansel to be released from the fattening cage in the house made of candy. Because they look like witches. Anyway, so, I'm sorry, Olsons, but if you sell obscenely overpriced crap to status-obsessed suckers and stiff the children,

and who help you, you're not America's little sweethearts anymore. You're apple. Now, I don't want to pick on the Olsons, but if these two aren't guilty of something, why do they always look like raccoons when you turn on the porch lot? Of course, the Olsons are really just a reflection of our post-greed is-good world, where outrageous income inequality is simply accepted, even by most of the people getting

fucked by it, people who should be in the streets. or in unions, or at least in the voting booth, but are not. As usual, Americans just find it easier to adapt. And that's how we got what economists now call the sharing economy. We used to have stores that provided jobs, then commerce went online. Now we just have apps. I know we're supposed to think that's cool to drive an Uber from your Airbnb to the assignment you found on Task Rabbit, selling your ovaries, but...

Isn't the sharing economy, really, the desperate economy, Airbnb? You really think anybody really wants to have total strangers living in their apartment for a week? Oh, look, someone else's pubes on my soap. I'm living the dream. There are apps now that connect you with people who will buy your groceries or park your car, and on Etsy you can sell your handmade crafts without the middleman of a store. How liberating. You're basically this guy on Venetian.

this beach nap. Oh, and by the way, I'm not planning on wearing these pants tomorrow. So if anyone needs pants but can't afford the long-term investment, head over to trouserdeal.com. Trouser deal, where you can rent my pants for just $5.95 a day. So how did America spend 60 years fighting communism and end up in a barter economy on Craigslist? It's like being afraid of gluten and ending up eating cats and dogs. The Trumps of the world would like to blame it all on Mexico and China, but actually these soulless workers coming to take your job aren't being smuggled across the Rio Grande. They're being built in Palo Alto. And that's not counting the next big thing. Driverless cars. Oh, I know. We already have that. It's called texting behind the

wheel. But no, I mean real driverless cars. But robots and cars didn't do this. We did it to ourselves, as usual, by worshiping greed, from replacing people with robots to exploiting interns, from the slave labor we use overseas, to the music everybody steals at home. We've all become so good at scheming, cheating, inventing, raiding, gouging, and just plain fucking each other,

that we woke up one day with this sharing economy, where the one thing we're not sharing are the profits. Somehow they forgot to create an app for that. Hillary Clinton has a detailed plan for higher education, but what is the point if there are no jobs when you get out? What's the point of going to school, joining the frat and learning the racist songs if all that's waiting for you is your parents' basement?

Even Jeb Bush says, we're moving to a world where it's harder for people in poverty to move up. And his solution, don't raise the minimum wage. Remember, when we say he's smart, we mean smart for a bush. All right, that's our show. I'll be at the Bergland in Roanoke, Virginia, tomorrow night, Saturday. Pacific and Fargo, North Dakota, September 20th, and it's Shays in Buffalo on September 26th.

I want to thank Mark Maron, Charles Cook, Donna Edwards, Dan Boutner, and Senator Claire McCaskill. Join us now for overtime on YouTube. Thank you, folks. Catch all new episodes of Real Time with Bill Marr every Friday night at 11 or watch him anytime on HBO On Demand. For more info, log on to HBO.com.