Real Time with Bill Maher - Episode #363 (Originally aired 9/11/15 - New Version)

Episode Date: September 15, 2015

Episode #363 (Originally aired 9/11/15)See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO late-night series Real Time with Bill Maugh. Well, I say this every week, but I'm going to say it again. I think you don't know why you're happy today. Because, well, because you love me. That's where I was going to go with that. But also, Senate Democrats delivered President Obama

major victory by blocking the Republican efforts to screw up his Iran deal, which is a no-brainer and it's going to go through. Or maybe you're just glad to get out of the heat. I don't know, maybe that's why you're happy. But, no, you know, the Republicans never let anything go,

even when they lose as they did. So they had a big rally the other day on the Capitol against the Iran deal, and the lineup of speakers, very impressive. Here's who spoke. Donald Trump, Ted Cruz, Sarah Palin, Glenn Beck,

Michelle Bachman, Louis Gomert, and the Duck Dynasty guy. It was a virtual woodstock of the mentally impaired. And Donald Trump said, if you elect me, we will have so much winning,

you're going to get bored with winning. You know, Charlie Sheen used to talk like this, but he was on crack. I mean, there was an excuse. Oh, Donald Trump. Donald Trump. I hate love talking about Donald Trump every week. So this week, he picked a fight with Carly Fiorina's face.

Have you seen that? I mean, we've had Carly on. I don't agree with her on a lot, but I have nothing against her. She's a nice face. Donald Trump said, look at that face. Would anyone vote for that face? Two questions. One, has Donald Trump crossed the line, finally?

And two, has he seen Scott Walker? Because if you can... gonna pick on the face. This guy looks like he died in a fireworks accident. And then Donald Trump says, I didn't mean it about the face.

I'm just an entertainer. That's what he said. Don't blame him. He's just Trump. The insult comic dog. Today he called Obama a hockey puck. No one remembers Don Rickles?

Okay. No, just an entertainer. Well, you know what, Don, I agree. And my question is, When is the show over? There has to be some line that he can cross-write something that will turn people up, and yet every week he seems to dare us. This week, I swear to God, he said something so creepy about his own daughter.

He said, quote, what a beauty, that one. If I weren't happily married and, you know, her father, does this man have to say to be disqualified? John McCain, pussy. Megan Kelly on the record. My daughter, I wish I could have sex with her. There are schizophrenics with Tourettes who have more control of what comes out of their mouth.

So when he said that thing about his daughter, his polls in the rural South went through the roof. They were like, finally, someone who gets me. Forget Trump. Today, right now, as we speak, is the 14th anniversary. Can you believe 14 years have passed since 9-11? Teachers in Florida have boyfriends who weren't even alive then. And, you know, everyone remembers and commemorates in their own way.

Miley Cyrus today was wearing the black pasties. Mr. President and Mrs. Obama had a moment of silence at the White House. George Bush wore the pants that he peed in that day. So everybody has their own. And last night, Listen to this. On the eve of 9-11, a rainbow. Did you see this, appeared emanating from ground zero, which sent an unmistakable message to the nation. Jesus is gay. Down in Kentucky, Kim Davis just went, no, he didn't. No, he... Oh, yes, this was the week of Kim Davis. You know this name now. Republicans have a new hero, Kentucky County Clerk, Kim Davis, the Rosa Parks of Homophobia.

the woman who went to jail for five whole days rather than issue marriage licenses to gay people. She was released on Tuesday, greeted with a huge rally led by Mike Huckabee, the White Al Sharpton. And they all got up there and said, God's law supersedes the courts, which actually is a very strong legal argument.

In Saudi Arabia, but not here in America. I don't want to say that these super religious types are always hip-relipped. but here she is, standing up for traditional marriage, and then we find out she's had multiple affairs, conceived twins out of wedlock, and has been married four times. That's why she can't give marriage licenses to gay. She's used them all for herself. Great show, Simon Rushdie is here. Linda Chavez is here, and Michael Moynihan. In a little, everybody is speaking with a very talented actor Wendell Pierce from not one but two HBO shows. The first up, she is.

is the Emmy Award-winning documentary News latest film, San Francisco 2.0, debut September 28th on HBO. Former Real-time, Real Reporter, Alexander Pelosi's over here. Thank you. Look at you, running out. How you're going?

Great to see you, as always. So happy to be here. We're always happy to see you. Wait, you know, we need to have our HBO moment because you think 9-11. HBO is putting you on TV. Think about this. That's right.

We both started. 9-11. Right, and not every network has the backbone. Right. To protect, to put you on the air? What they had was not just backbone, not lack of sponsors. Okay. That was a key thing.

But free speech is something we want to celebrate, and HBO has given us the platform, and we need to be grateful to them. This is enough ass-kissing of the network. Okay, Alex. Yeah, we're happy to be here, let it go. Okay. So you have made a very interesting film, as you always do.

You've never done anything that isn't fascinating. This one is about income inequality, which I think is one of the great issues of our time. Even the Republicans agree with that now. But, I mean, you talked about something, and you use San Francisco in it to illustrate income inequality, and this is very personal to you. I mean, your mother is the representative

from San Francisco for many years, Nancy Pelosi. You grew up there. So this means a lot to you that your city that you know and love is not the city you grew up in because of income inequality. And it's not just San Francisco. It's San Francisco could be any city in America and in the world. San Francisco's a might be positive. But it is kind of the canary in the coal mine. It is.

It's worse there. I read that the, I think, or maybe I saw it in your movie, that the income inequality there is worse than in Rwanda. Yeah, it's bad because it's a very small town. You had all the tech companies moving in. Right. And they just don't have affordable housing. And we don't have affordable housing, and you have this influx of all this new money, you're pushing out the middle class.

Right. The tech companies used to be out in the burbs, right? And then the mayor did something, like gave them tax breaks, so they all moved into the city. So the regular people couldn't afford to live there anymore. Right. So now you have school teachers and firefighters and cops who can't afford to live in the city where they work, which is a real problem in America.

And, you know, this is happening in a lot of cities, but it's, to me, it's an example of how San Francisco is becoming like a gated community where only the wealthy can live. And there are a lot of cities you could say that about, but it's a real challenge for the leaders of our cities. How are we going to deal with this divide between rich and poor? Are we just going to push the middle class out and make them live? You know, we need them. But it especially broke my heart to see it about San Francisco. I mean, I've lived out here in Los Angeles for almost 32 years. We go to San Francisco a lot.

I used to play the comedy clubs. Now I play the theaters there. It's always been a great town because it was a bohemian town. When I think of San Francisco, I think of, if you're going, wear some flowers in your hair. I think of the hippies. I think of the summer of love. I think of people who are counterculture. I don't think of the wealthy.

It seems like it's through the looking glass in this town now. And now it's the land of the tech bros. This is the new, this is progress. This is, well, I'm saying this is the conversation that needs to be had about how do we handle the progress without destroying the culture of a community? That's the question that we need to answer is. How are we going to make this city work for everybody? That's the challenge. We can't just let all the rich people move.

in. The rich people want to be, I mean, the newly minted millionaires that made all their money in tech, want to be in San Francisco because that's where the culture is. They don't want to be in Silicon Valley. They don't want to live down there. They want to live in the city. And then by moving in there, they destroy it. It's like when the douchebags go to the hip club. And you douchebags know who you are. Okay. I don't know who I'm talking to there, but... So then the other problem you have is that San Francisco is grounds you're of the so-called sharing economy coming out of the bohemian concept of the sharing economy so we have the Airbnb and the Uber that started in San Francisco right Airbnb Uber because we did something about this a couple of

weeks ago on the show the sharing I call it the desperate economy no one really wants to rent their apartment to a stranger for a week well some people can't afford to live in the city unless that's what I'm saying it's desperation it is desperate and it's Darwinian because what happens when you go to a freelance economy is that there's no you know in taxi drivers that you used to have to earn the medallion and then they had some sort of, or hotel workers, they had some union that they had some support, some safety net. There's no safety net with Uber. You use your car and then, you know, who knows? And so that's the other problem with this new economy. And San Francisco, really, everybody's looking to this progressive city of how are we going to solve these problems

in the world? Because every town is being, shall we say, changed. Well, especially the most desirable cities. I've read a number of articles recently about what they call ghost apartments, which are these very wealthy places where you can live that are empty almost the entire year. New York City, I think they said almost 29% of the apartments, 44% in midtown are secondary apartments. In other words, rich fucks who are only there a couple of weeks a year. So why can't people afford housing? Because it's all going to people who aren't even there. These giant aries in the sky filled with no one except the maid who comes in once a week to dust. This is going on in London. This is going on in New York. This is going on in Paris, San Francisco.

All these desirable places to live. I hear people all the time say to me, you know, you can get a place in Dubuque for a hundred and, yeah, but who the fuck wants to live there? That's what I always say. Dubuque is awesome. So then it's a question about community. How do we get? For example, San Francisco, how do we get the tech companies to start looking at San Francisco as their community and not just their playground? And we have to figure out... They're supposed to be the liberals. We were supposed to be different.

I could understand if this was oil people or, you know, the bad guys, the big farmer, all the corporations we used to hate. But I thought these were our folks, the tech companies. I thought these were the liberals. They turned out to meet the new boss, same as the old boss. They became big brother, is what happened. They became everything that they... You know, 1984 was about... the, you know, the ruling class.

If you look at the whole concept of 1984, they became everything that they said that they despised. And now they own us all, because we're all hooked to this, right? Right. I got to check my messages, but listen, you're always doing great work. Thank you for having. Alexandra Pelosi, September 28th on this network.

All right, let's meet our panel. He is a columnist for The Daily Beast and host of the Business of Life on Vice News. I'm familiar with them. Michael Moynihan. Hey, Michael, how you doing? She is the chairman of the chairwoman, I would say. The Center for the Equal...

What is it? Chairman or Chairwoman. I don't care. Chair, whatever. All right. Now, wait till I screw up your name. The Center for Equal Opportunity and nationally syndicated radio talk show host,

Linda Chavez. Did I say that right? I'm bad with names. And he is a literary lion whose new novel is two years, eight months, and 28 nights. Salman Rushdie is back over here. Okay. Well, Europe is having their worst refugee crisis since World War II, I believe. And, you know, a picture is worth a thousand words,

especially in a society that doesn't read, except for this audience, Sal, that's why we get the great authors here. These are readers. But this picture was... all around the world, and I think everybody in the Western world saw it, and it is heartbreaking, and I think everyone, probably even on the right, agrees that we have to do something for the immediate to help these poor people who are so desperate. The naughtier question that I noticed the rest of the media avoids is, what about the long-term?

I mean, I so understand why moderate Muslims are fleeing their homelands, but the answer can't really be that we empty out the Middle East of all the moderates. and leave it to ISIS and the extremists. If they just come to moderate, tolerant Europe to someday make it less moderate and tolerant, that isn't the answer, right? Absolutely not. And in fact, the real problem is it's a demographic time bomb.

Europeans, historical Europeans, are not having babies anymore. And so the only people who are having babies in countries like France and Germany and England are the new Muslim immigrants. And so what it is doing is having a huge, demographic change. And that's giving rise to a backlash. You've got very right-wing nationalist parties in France, in the Netherlands, and you've got it, you know, it's going to end up being, I think, a political upheaval. You're going to have a terrible backlash towards this. And, of course,

you know, you want to be a kind. You want to bring people in. I think it's great that President Obama decided that he's going to bring in, you know, more Syrians into. And, you know, you know, the United States, you know, six times more than we have over the last two years he's going to bring in over the next year. I think that's great. But we do a good job of assimilating people here in the United States. Europe does a terrible job. The Muslims who go to France, the 8% of the population there, they don't melt in. It didn't happen. Places like Birmingham are concentrated Muslim communities. They haven't moved in. They haven't integrated. And a lot of the problem is the Europeans themselves.

To the political point, the backlash has already begun. I mean, in Sweden, now there was a poll recently that the biggest party in the country is the Sweden Democrats. When I lived in Sweden 10 years ago, they were 2%. That would be an absolute fantasy that these guys would ever get in power. They are based from a Nazi party. They came out of a Nazi party in the 1990s. They're the biggest party intolerant Sweden.

Denmark is not allowing refugees in, and they're pushing them towards Sweden. And they're actually taking out ads in newspapers in Lebanon saying don't come to Denmark because the Danish People's Party, which is the far right party there, controls the balance of power there and they're also the biggest party. Imagine that. In Sweden and Denmark, the two biggest parties are extreme right parties, and this is a response to immigration. Well, let me try and say something maybe a little, you might not expect that you say. First of all, I think that the solution to the problem is not

taking in refugees. The solution to the problem is to fix the reason the refugees are fleeing. That's all. You've got this unending war in Syria. Also, you have Eritrea, Ethiopia. That's where they're all coming from because they're running for their lives. And the way to stop them running for their lives is to stop putting their lives in danger where they live. One thing. Second thing is I do think it's very weird that the countries where they share a language and a culture are the ones not letting them in. That's to say the Gulf states.

You've taken zero. Taking zero, Peter. My illustrious namesake, King Salman, I think that's the wrong way round, isn't it? Of Saudi Arabia. Yeah, King Salman arrives in D.C. to talk to the administration, and he takes over an entire five-star hotel for himself. But he will not let in a single refugee into his country.

And these are Arab, you know, and it's not just Saudi Arabia, It's all the Gulf states. Bahrain, Gutter, United Arab Emirates, Kuwait, none. They will not let a single one in. And, of course, these are Arabic-speaking people. Well, you would think would fit in a little better there than, say, Duseldor. Well, that's right.

But they're Arabic. They are, in fact, Arabic speakers, and they are Arabs, but they are Shiite Muslims. And it is Sunni Muslims that are in Saudi Arabia and throughout the Gulf States. And look, I mean... Syrians are not Shiite Muslims. You've got, you have many Shiite Muslims. Most of Syria is Sunni Muslim.

Am I right, Salman? I think so. But look, there's another thing, which is I slightly disagree with the view that there's no assimilation going on. Because I think recent research in France, for example, in the Bhanlier where all the trouble are supposed to be, shows that very small minority of Muslims, young people identify primarily as Muslims. They identify primarily as French people. and they feel in a way hemmed in by the religious people of their own community to have to declare themselves as Muslims, whereas in fact they want to be French people.

So I think it is possible to argue that the Europeanization of the Muslim communities will take place. But the problem is in the meanwhile, there's this Nazi backlash. It's disturbing, too. I was in Denmark right after the Charlie Hebdo shootings. There was a terrorist attack in Denmark. Most people sort of already forgotten about this, an attack on a free speech event. the guy who shot up that event and then went to a synagogue and killed somebody there

was a second generation, Dane. And he was shot down the following day. Two days later, there was a funeral. And I was sitting in a pub, and all these people were looking at their phones. There were text messages popping up. There were 700 to 1,000 people that went to his funeral in Denmark.

And you can see the images of this, shouting, you know, God is great, etc. This is alarming to Danish people. and it should be alarming to anyone. And if you look at the opinion polls, yeah, it is a minority, but it is a large minority, I wouldn't say a large minority, but a minority that's substantial and incredibly dangerous. And have dangerous views.

Let's not kid ourselves. There's a lot of young Muslim men in European cities who, even though they are newcomers to the land, really are not humble about adopting to the ways of the Western world. They are, again, the newcomers, and yet they bridle at the fact that women walk down the street with a miniskirt and sleeveless dresses on. Free speech is not something we see that they always agree with. And often their attitude is we're biting our time until you will

do things our way. Can anyone really deny that, that that element is there? No. That is a problem. And it is also a problem that you have, you know, in terms of assimilation, it is easier to assimilate people ethnically than it is religiously, even in the United States. Yes. You know, we have certain enclaves of people who are unassimilated, don't even speak English.

You know, in the Amish community, you have people who are still speaking their language of their forefathers. They're very, you know, religious communities in New York, of Hasidic Jews, many of whom speak Yiddish. I would be more sympathetic if there was a better track record in the Muslim world of Monash. standing up to extremists. I've mentioned on this show before. ISIS is about 30,000 guys.

The countries surrounding ISIS that say they hate them have an army, if they put it together, of about 5 million. If 5 million can't stand up to 30,000, I'm a little wary about this. Yeah, I agree. It seems like all

the energy goes toward religion. Saudi Arabia, as you mentioned, not taking in anybody, but they want to build. They're going to pay to build 200 new mosques in Germany. See, all the energy goes to the afterlife. And that's not how Europe rolls. They're atheists.

No, it's very, you see, I think that's the issue. As somebody who moved from European country to America, one of the big and obvious differences is that in Europe, religion is not a big public issue. No. Actually, when Tony Blair was prime minister, they had to work very hard to conceal his strong religious belief from the election, because he would have lost votes.

You're right. Whereas here, you know, you can't be elected dog catcher unless you go to church. As our friend Kim Davis showed us. And, you know, I mean, Kim Davis, this is somebody who was out there saying, and by the way, a number of the Republican candidates

agreed with her, saying the Supreme Court does not get to say what's legal. What do we make of a country? You know, Donald Trump says, other countries are laughing at us. This is why they're laughing at us. Because they say the Supreme Court, doesn't get to say what's legal.

I think they do. I think that's exactly what the Supreme Court gets. You're right about that. But let's also look at the fact that you have a huge sea change. I mean, it's been 15 years since the whole idea of gay marriage as acceptable and, you know, a matter of law has been around. It's been 10,000 years when it wasn't right. Barack Obama, when he ran for president, 2000.

10,000 years, what? That civilization has had marriage. is between two people of the opposite sex? No. In the Bible, it was polygamy. King David had a thousand wives. All right. But always, but always, always, between people of the opposite sex.

We have not had the concept of gay marriage, Bill, until very, very recently. As long as it's the opposite sex. Because otherwise it would be weird. Look, Bill, the point is, I mean, you can laugh at it if you want, but there are a lot of people who have to be. brought along on this issue. One of the problems with the Supreme Court getting involved, you had legalization moving forward, state by state. It's very similar to what happened in the

whole abortion issue, where you have the Supreme Court intervene at the very time that states were liberalizing abortion laws. What happened? You polarized people. And it was very, very difficult to get people brought along. And I think that's what's happened here with the Supreme Court. The case was brought to the Supreme Court. The Supreme Court didn't go out. Well, of course, of course. But that's because activists decided we're going to use the courts rather than going to the political process. And it's a conservative court.

Yeah. If they said it's okay, I think it's okay. Yeah, it's a, yeah. And it's the law to land. I'm not arguing it's not. To connect this to our former discussion, if you say, as Kim Davis and her ilk and Ted Cruz and all those people say, that actually, I can ignore the rule of me. man because the rule book

of God. Then you are Iran. Then you are Saudi Arabia. Then you are Sharia I agree with you on that. I agree with you on that. I am just saying that it is going to take time and you have a very substantial population

that have religious views that differ and you're going to have to bring them along. I don't think that's her intention here is to sort of slowly bring people along to this idea of gay marriage. She comes out of jail. Every Republican is waiting to take their photo with her. They have a shout and holler

cleetus ceremony. Everyone's holding up crosses in Survivor's Eye of the Tiger is playing. I'm glad we're all coming along very slowly. By the way, if I may use a small area of expertise with religious bigotry.

What do you know? What do you know about that? You know, I mean, allow me to fake a little knowledge on the subject. But one of the things that is a classic trope of the religious bigot is while they are denying people their rights, they claim that their rights are being denied.

Right. While they are persecuting people, they claim to be persecuted. While they are behaving colossally offensively, they claim to be the offended party. And it's an upside-down look. Well, I mean, but especially Christians. I mean, the whole thing is based on a persecution complex. So when they say things like they're criminalizing Christianity,

really you're 70% of the people. But everybody does this. Everybody does this. In India right now, the 85% Hindu majority, its leaders are saying Hinduism is under threat. In the Islamic world, the paranoia is routine. The world is anti-Muslim. And so this is just a trope that they're stealing from other bigots. I got to say, politicians, especially in this season, are really winning the crown for bullshit. But the all-time bullshit line I've ever heard was Mike Huckabee when he got up there this week and he said about Kim Davis, if you're going to send her to jail, send me instead.

As if that's possible. You can swap around? If you could say, Judge, he's going to go in my place. It's like saying, I will take your cancer. I know you have it. All right. So there was huge news this week in paleontology. paleontologists because they

wow that's I don't think all you people are paleontologists but I appreciate the support but they found a new species of human ancestor homo nalidi he's called and it's just amazing every time they think they have the evolutionary chain mapped out nope

they find a new set of bones this one almost two million years old they think they don't know yet but walked upright two million years years ago, used tools, but had a very tiny brain the size of a baseball and a hat that said make America great again. But the lead scientist on this Lee Berger, he worked for National Geographic. He was the National Geographic

Explorer in residence where I thought it was so apropos because this week we got the news, the horrifying news, that National Geographic has been sold to Rupert Murdoch. Now, this has been around since 1888. It certainly was around when I was a kid. When I was a kid, there was no porn. So we used to look at National Geographic. I mean, that was, yeah, man,

that was what we had. The wonder we came out with jungle fever. Anyway, I hope National Geographic stays the same now that Rupert Murdoch owns it, but we've got to hold of some of the covers to come. Look at some of these. I don't think it's going to.

Look at this. Space, are Hillary's emails out there? I mean, The world's stupidest glaciers and how we get rid of them. Contacting the lost Mashu Piro tribe. Can we please make these savages put on some pants? The Great Wall of China, 5,000 years without a Mexican. Definitely, Fox News.

Aborigines and whiteface. Where's the outrage? The gay penguin agenda. Happy birthday. birthday dinosaurs. And sluts of the rainforest. Our experts rate their tits.

Okay, let's bring out. Wendell, he is the former star of the Wire and for May. He's got a new book. It's called The Wind and the Reeds, a storm, a play, and the city that would not be broken.

Wendell Pierce. Wendell Pierce. Piers. How you doing, brother? Very good, man. Very good. Okay. Now, Wendell, of course,

Of course, it was the 10th anniversary of the Katrina Storm. You were always going to be associated with New Orleans. You live there. You're the guy who's helping the community. And the fifth anniversary of, I mean, a 14th anniversary of 9-11. So it was a really good week for the Bush's. But what's going on in New Orleans? I hear it's kind of a tale of two cities.

It is a tale of two cities. It's, you know, the best of times and the worst of times. And we have to remember that at the apex of the storm and the disaster, there were citizens who said publicly on the front page of the Wall Street Journal, this is going to be an opportunity for us to get rid of the people we don't want. We're going to change the city demographically, geographically, and politically. And if they don't change it, we're going to leave. Do you believe that?

That's a conspiracy theory. No, it's not a conspiracy theory. It's put into policy. I mean, they didn't cause the storm. They didn't cause the storm, but they did. make sure that the Hope Six projects go out, and so all public housing was torn down and only a third brought back.

They put the onus on my project of rebuilding of only accepting low income so they can get them out of the city and into the hinterlands, but I can't sell my house to you. I've actually turned away cash buyers in Pudgeon Park because they're over the 80% average median income.

So they're forcing the poor out of the central city so they can take over and build those ghost departments. I heard that your family had an all-state policy since 1955 they paid into it and they wouldn't pay off

and my mother and father received $400 after 50 years But these are the good hands people Yes, those hands are around you're nuts I'm sorry, Michelle Benz I apologize The truth must be told I apologize

And you put on a production of waiting for Godot I thought that was so appropriate since people were waiting for something that never came. Right. That analogy, I guess, was hopefully not lost on the people. That was the reason the presenters, creative time, the very arts presenters that are responsible for the two beams of light and Ground Zero in New York tonight, they did the production with Paul Chan down in New Orleans with me. He said the Lord Ninth Ward reminded him of every production of waiting for Godot that he had seen. Two men out in the vast void with just a road and a tree.

looking for something to save them. And then the playwright actually says, Mr. Beckett says, find it within yourself. You know, at this place, in this moment of time, all mankind is us. Let us do something while we have the chance. It was the most cathartic moment in my life to remind me that we had it within our own power

to exercise our right of self-determination. So it was a call to action for me to come back to New Orleans and start to rebuild my neighborhood of Punch a Train Park. I love the way you just summed up that play, for Godot. Now, I never have to actually see it again, though. Do I... It's really pretty boring. Okay. It's just

awful, isn't it? I know. The play is a reflection of the condition those two men are in. Oh, it totally. It's painful. It's painful. It's painful. It's painful to watch, is what it is. It's just painful. No, I'm kidding you. It's a great play. I'll be seeing it again.

Okay. So, let me ask you about James Blake. He is the former tennis star who was roughed up in New York. We saw the video this week. Do we have that to show the folks? I don't think they've seen this yet. Standing there? Yes, just standing there. Here's a New York

City cop who comes in and gently takes him down. It was a case of mistaken identity. They thought he was a non-famous black man. Hashtag Rich Black Lives Matter. Right, you know, when I saw that, I thought of one person. There was a guy named Patrick Dorisman

who left work going home in the middle of the night he was working out of a restaurant with a buddy and these guys came up to him and said hey we want to buy some weed and they accosted him and he said get away from me they're playing clothes so they got into a fight and they killed him they were New York police NYPD

and the fact is if someone came up to me like that in front of a hotel and attacked me luckily it was James if it was me we would have been in a fight and then I would have been shot and they would have said it was justifiable he was attacking a police officer that police officer did not identify himself. He comes there, playing clothesman. He's just a big white boy attacking me in front of the hotel.

And by the way, that is he should be fired, and I hope James... Well, he was. I think he's been fired already. So, you know... I think Commissioner Bratton did the right thing with that. By the way, it's important to note that the crime involved here was credit card fraud. I know. Not really a violent crime.

They thought he looked like a guy who committed credit card fraud. But I don't know why you have to take down a guy like that. for credit card fraud. It does not seem like the kind of crime that would mandate it. It's not something that you often see on Wall Street when inside a trade in his car. You don't see the...

Running down the holes, taking someone down in a headlock saying, I bought an IPO from you. So we have some other breaking news today that happened on Friday. Rick Perry is out, ladies and gentlemen. We are down to a mere 16 Republican presidential candidates.

Rick said, some things have become clear. I guess what he meant by that is the Republican primary this year is more mean-crazy, and he was more stupid crazy. But here's what I think is so fascinating. He has a super PAC, right? And the Super PAC has said, it tweeted, well, first of all,

they're still running ads. He dropped out, and they're still running ads in Iowa. They tweeted, in it for the long haul. This says so much about our political system. Who needs the candidate? We have the money. And this is the least delusional thing about this primary. The fact that they're still running ass.

But that's pretty crazy. It's pretty crazy. But I did appreciate one thing about Rick Perry. It's he came out of this. And it was like a kind of a moment where he said, I could be honest. And he said, he started attacking Donald Trump a little too late, and he called him a nativist. And he's like, there's exactly what he is.

And nobody's saying this. And it feels like when you're in your exit, you can actually say, well, I don't need those crazy voters anymore, and I can actually tell it like it is, which is really, really depressing. You only tell the truth on your way out. Yes. Right. But here's the interesting thing about Donald Trump,

why it's a little hard to put him in a box, because on a few issues, he's actually pretty good. and one of them is this issue. He actually wants to raise his own taxes. He actually wants to raise taxes on hedge fund managers and close loopholes on the super rich. None of the others do because they're all beholden to the donors.

This is my point. He doesn't have to do that because he's financing his own campaign. Jeb Bush released his tax plan this week. Nothing for normal people. It was just for donors. That's not true. That's not true. He's doubling the standard deduction.

He's reducing tax rates. He's going to have three tax rates instead of the seven or whatever they are now. He had a whole plan that in fact... That doesn't sound progressive. That will, in fact... Well, that's actually what Ronald Reagan did when I was in the White House in 1985 and... He wasn't progressive either. Well, I'm sorry. I disagree.

We had a great economy then. We actually had people much, much greater job growth than. We had much lower... What? We had terrific job growth. answer to people in the South Bronx. Actually, we just had the 66th month in a row of the economy expanding.

The... We still have not hit 4%. But wait a second. The unemployment rate is down to 5.1%. I remember when John Boehner was going out every week saying, where are the jobs? 13 million he created, more than Reagan. I don't hear anybody saying, oh, yeah, we got the jobs.

Thanks. First of all, it's a bigger population, and there are fewer people in the labor force. We've had actually a lot of people drop out of the labor force. That's a big problem. That is one of the reasons, by the way, that if Trump were to get his way, we actually need more people in the labor force. We need immigrants. This country needs immigrants. They do jobs that Americans will not do both at the high end and at the low end.

So, I mean, I am very anti-Trump. I think Trump is a disaster. I think he's a vile human being. frankly. You know, he talked about... Now, you know, you're going to get tweeted at now. You can feel that Donald Trump tankterer turning toward you tonight at 4 a.m. I know, I know. I don't like your face and your number is stinking.

You were bad in the Reagan administration. And you know what I say about his face? Look in the mirror. You want to see a face that you want to have as president. Look in the mirror, Donald. Absolutely. Forget about the hair, look below the hair. Right. But here's what I think.

If one could, it's very difficult to take Trump seriously, but if one could just make an effort, it seems to me that a thing is happening, a thing is happening around the world of which Trump is one manifestation, which is a disgust with traditional politics. Yes. That electorates around the world are very alienated from what they see as the machine, and they're, turning towards people who seem just to be not part of the machine. And that could be... Why, Ben Carson is second? It can be on... Yes, that's like Clarence Thomas running for president.

Whoa. But, you know, in England right now, on the other side of the spectrum, you've got a far left-winger, Jeremy Corbyn, who is about to run away with the Labour Party leadership simply because the people don't like the traditional leadership. This doesn't not order well for Joe Biden. Or Hillary Clinton. Right.

You know, you're for Biden? I kind of like Joe Biden. I do. I think that's actually an interesting point, is that I talked to somebody about this today, and they kind of like Joe Biden, too. Nobody knows. Well, everybody kind of likes Joe. Well, yeah, but it's the thing about American politics is nobody knows anything about policies.

I'm not saying Salman is one of them. But it's typically, you know, Trump is somebody who he's, you know, he just says what he means, and that's great. It's like, I mean, half the things that he means are completely bat-shut crazy. I mean, a guy, I mean, he could deny the Holocaust. He's really telling it like it is. I mean, he's a... And yet, a lot of them believe the same thing.

Well, they, of course they believe the same thing. I've been on the other end of that in Twitter, too. The Republicans must believe two things. One is that Trump is a ridiculous crazy man who's ruining it for normal Republicans, and yet somehow normal Republicans vote for him and believe the same things he believes. It can't be both.

I mean, they're right, the voters are right about one thing, or Trump voters are. The establishment, conservatives are absolutely rallying the troops and trying to push him out of the tent. Because, I mean, what you said is right. I mean, Paul Krugman's supporting him. I mean, that's not something the Republican establishment likes.

I mean, he's somebody who does, you know, like taxes on big businesses and taxes on. This is feeling politics. Jeb Bush is going to come out with a plan where you have to look on page 68 to figure out if you have it. It's incredibly complicated. People want to say the rich guys are bad. It's a zero-sum game. They're taking for us. Me build big wall.

That's what they want. I'll build a bigger wall, the biggest wall. I don't know what you think. What do you think of the Manchurian candidate theory? Yes. Yes, you've got it. That actually there's some secret deal between Trump who's secretly a Democrat

and the Democrats so that he can infiltrate the Republican Party and destroy it from within. Bill Lansbury is involved in. Bill Clinton encouraged him to get in the race. I don't know. I'm seeing a conspiracy here. So he's the Manchurian candidate. I mean, to the point of it in England,

Tories are desperate for Jeremy Corrid. Desperate. This is on the par of, you know, the World Trade Center was inside job. And here we are on the anniversary of 9-11. And by the way, speaking of the anniversary of 9-11, you know, people have been debating in the last few years whether we should remember or actually try to forget.

And I would counsel on the side of remembering. Not that we should change our lives terribly because that and the terrorists win. We've heard that before. But I've also heard a lot of people say things like, oh, you know, if you look at the statistics, more people die, and then they can name almost anything, than from terrorists.

More people die from antibiotic shots, and more people die from distracted drivers. Except distracted drivers are not trying to get a nuclear weapon. And all the terrorists have to do is get it one time, and those statistics go away. So I would say we should keep that. I mean, I think that it's good to be on both sides of this, because I think, yes, we must remember,

and I think on this particular day of all that, yes, I think we should remember. But I also, you know, as someone living in the city, I really like it that that area, which was fenced off under maximum security for so long, is now the walls are all down. It's just a plaza in the city. It's gone back to being a part of New York City. And I think there is that healing.

You know, it feels like the wound healed and the bandages got taken off. But that's the grace of it all. the honoring of all those people that died that day. The fact that that is a plaza, a place of reflection, where you can look on it and we'll never make the mistakes of the past, or try to collectively think about how can we do the things necessary that this won't ever happen again. Sometimes in New Orleans, our past commemoration,

we wanted to look away from those 1800 people that died and pretend that we're just going to look forward and everything is wonderful, but we should never forget the people that lost their lives on those days because it was through no fault of their own. But women can still do this. on the balcony and show their tits and go, woo, can't they?

Yes, just not on that day. All right. I have one minute left. I just want to correct the record on one thing. Rick Santorum was here on our last show. And, you know, I don't usually talk about people after they're gone. And I like Rick, and I appreciate them coming on the show.

But you know what? Republicans do this a lot. They say something incredibly bullshit, knowing that this is a live show, and they can't call them on it. And Rick said, the most recent survey of climate scientists said about 57% don't agree with the idea that 95% of the change in the climate is caused by CO2.

And yes, that was complete bullshit. PolitiFact said we rate Santorum's claim false. He only uses a false statistic but also mistakes what he's allegedly disproving. He got the 57% figure from a blogger who incorrectly assumed that every scientist who didn't offer for an exact percentage of the amount of greenhouse gases was not saying it was a dominant factor. So, you know, you could get your information from over 200 worldwide scientific bodies,

but he gets it from a blogger and then misquotes them. So, sorry, Rick, but you can't come on my show and misrepresent the most important issue of our time. All right. Thank you, panel. And it's time for New rules, everybody. New rules. New Rule, someone has to explain to

Someone has to explain to Jefferson King, the Florida man, always Florida. Arrested for publicly masturbating in a Burger King that, have it your way, refers to your food order. Also, if you want to have any chance at all of acquittal, don't take a mugshot that looks like you're still masturbating in a Burger King.

New Rule, Native American, have to concede that rain dances don't work. Look, the Southwest has no... I love the way they were like, wait a second. Are you making fun of Indians, Bill? Rain dances don't fucking work, people. My lawn is now made of dirt. I think it's time to admit that the only time dancing

makes it rain is around midnight at the Spearmint Rino. New Rule, now that the world's shortest man has passed away, After a good life at the age of 75, it's okay for someone to say out loud that the hat wasn't fooling anything. Exactly, man. New Rule, someone has to tell Kim Davis's husband who showed up for her big release event looking like this, that when people already think you're brainless, it doesn't help to dress up like the scarecrow. New Rule, now that Caitlin Jenner says she's not offended by the Call Me Caitlin Halloween costume,

She must share her plans for the rest of the holiday season. For example, will she be going out on New Year's Eve or staying home and just watching the ball drop? And finally, new rule, someone has to tell me how the world can be so blind. While conservatives here remain apoplectic about Mexicans crossing the Rio Grande, and Europe freaks out about Syrian refugees flooding in from the Middle East. No one is paying attention to the ethnic group that's taking. taking over this country while we blithely do nothing. Fucking Australians!

Is anybody here in the audience tonight from here in L.A.? Okay. Then it can't just be me who has noticed that every single bartender in this town is suddenly some six-foot-four Australian dude with a great personality who's generous with the free drinks and we're just letting it happen. Wake up, people. You can just say,

cannot swing a dead wallaby these days without hitting an Australian and it's not just the bartenders, Australians now make up 30% of America's surfing instructors and an alarming 65% of our ski bombs. Ladies and gentlemen,

Australia is not sending us its best people. They're bringing drugs. Yes, enough for everybody, but still, they're rapists. Okay, not rapists, but they do a lot of fucking. and I assume some are good people.

Now, how do Australians get here? No one really knows. Some say the jet stream carries them over, but we do know this. You meet one and have a few beers. Next thing you know, he's sleeping on your couch, borrowing your car, and fucking your girlfriend. And somehow you're okay with it.

It's like getting a golden retriever if golden retrievers fuck your girlfriend. Did you know that in the whole... history of the world, there are only four inventions Australians claim the disposable syringe, the long-wearing contact lens, aspirin, and penicillin.

All created so they could party longer. We used to think oceans could protect us because oceans were full of sharks and sharks eat a lot of Australians. But now sharks are endangered. There just aren't enough of them anymore.

And there are too many, Hemsworths. Does anyone remember when American movies were cast with American actors? That seems like a long time ago. Have we become so weak and a feat that no defense is mounted against an awseye hoard that flawlessly mimics our American accent and then takes jobs that rightfully belong to Billy Bob Thornton? Does America really need Simon Baker when Patrick Denpsey?

is sitting by the phone. Now, I partly blame myself. First, the Australians came for parts in our cop movies, but I wasn't an actor, so I didn't speak out. Then they came for our action movie blockbusters, but I wasn't

a soulless studio chief, so I didn't speak out. Then they came for the Tony Awards. But I'm not gay, so I didn't speak out. But I'm speaking now. And though you cannot build a wall on the ocean, you can build a reef.

And I will build the greatest reef the world has ever seen. A great barrier reef, if you will. And I will make Mel Gibson pay for it. Will it work? No. Do I care? No. Because I don't really hate Australians, but I'm an American. And it's in our tradition to hate someone.

and blame them for all our problems. In the mid-19th century, it was my people, the Irish everyone hated. Then it was the Chinese, the Italians, the Mexicans, the Jews, the Swedes, the Japanese, the Russians, and now the Mexicans again. If Donald Trump really wanted to make America great again, he wouldn't build a wall, he'd build a mirror.

Then maybe we would see that no one can actually take. a job. Someone has to give it to them. We could end our illegals problem tomorrow if we decided to stop hiring them. But no, we talk of walls to protect us from people so dangerous that we can't stop ourselves from paying them to raise our children. As Sarah Palin says, You want to be in America when you're here? Let's speak American. Which begs the question, Why are the people who demand that everyone speak English always the ones who can't speak English? All right, that's our show.

I'll be at the Civic Memorial in Fargo, September 20th, the Chays and Buffalo, the 26th, and at the auditorium in Rochester the 27th. I want to thank Michael Moynihan, Linda Chavez, Salman Rushdie, Wendell Pearson, Alexander Pelosi, wrote us now for overtime on YouTube. Thank you, folks. All new episodes of Real Time with Bill Maher.

every Friday night at 11 or watching anytime on HBO On Demand. For more info, log on to HBO.com.