Real Time with Bill Maher - Episode #387 (Originally aired 05/06/16)

Episode Date: May 7, 2016

Episode #387 (Originally aired 05/06/16) - Bill’s guests Richard Taite, Bryan Cranston, Ann Coulter, Nick Gillespie and Dan Savage. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO late-night series, Real Time with Bill Maugh. Let me tell you something. You are surprisingly fresh for a week that included a lot of heavy drinking. It was Cinco de Mayo yesterday. And also Trump is going to be the Republican nominee.

So they don't make Corona strong enough for that. That's right. Did you see Donald Trump yesterday? He took for Cinco de Mayo. He tweeted out a picture of him eating a taco bowl and said, happy Cinco de Mayo. I love Hispanics. And they love him.

Oh, they love him. He's at all the children's parties here in L.A. As the pinata. But, you know, they said it couldn't happen. they said it wouldn't happen? It happened. Donald Trump is going to be the Republican nominee for president. And, you know, I have taken a lot of crap over the years

for saying this is a stupid country. I should have trademarked it. Everybody keeps saying, it's a reality show. Yeah, fear factor. I feel like I know how Dracula got to run Transylvania. They had primaries. There was debates, and then the other vampires just couldn't stand Ted Cruz.

I mean, yeah, that's what happened. It all ended Tuesday night in Indiana. Ted Cruz bid it bad. I mean, the Republicans, all they had to do is come up with one motherfucker who was more popular than Donald Trump, and they couldn't do that. If you're wondering why even Republicans could not stand Ted Cruz, he said it as concession speech, I am not making this up.

This is why we hate politicians. He said, just a few days ago, two young kids kids four and six handed me two envelopes full of change, all of their earnings from their lemonade stand. Right. A four-year-old is concerned

with the direction of the country. Here, Mr. Cruz, take all my money, use it to defeat Donald Twop. He's not a Thu conservative. The six-year-old said he would have done it sooner, but he was waiting to see if Bloomberg got in.

Now, I am beginning to think this whole election is taking place inside the mind of a disturbed child. And that child, of course, is Dr. Ben Carson. Yes, gentle Ben was, he's been appointed to find Trump's vice president.

We're at the point now where the crazy people are appointing each other to do jobs. And, and, uh, so on the short list, of course, is Chris Christie. He was the first on the Trump train. Trump and plump. It'll be quite a...

Quite a campaign. And Chris Christie has already assured Donald Trump that he does not have any skeletons in the closet. Baby back ribs in the bed, yes. I mean, this is the reality we're living in. They're talking about Trump's vice president. He's already talking about what he's going to do

in his first hundred days. He said, by the end of his first hundred of days, the wall with Mexico will be designed immigration ban on Muslims will be in place, and the repeal of Obamacare will be in motion, and all of us will be in Canada. And by the way, there may be quite a few Republicans with us.

The party is split in a way I have never seen before. The Republican establishment is not necessarily going along supporting Donald Trump. He's racist. He's sexist. He's belligerent. There are also some things about him they don't like. No, it's true. The last two Republican presidents, Bush Sr. and Bush Jr., they're not going to the convention.

The last two nominees, Mitt Romney, John McCain. They don't want any part of it. They're not going to the country. Lindsey Graham says he won't go, but that's just because he has nothing to wear. That's nothing to do with politics. No, I mean, Paul Ryan, he is the leading Republican in the country, the Speaker of the House. he is the chairman of the convention.

Yesterday said he will not endorse Donald Trump. He said he wants to. He hopes to. He said he's not there yet. He doesn't want to rush into it. This Donald Trump, tell me more. I've not heard enough about... Who is this Donald Trump?

Like Trump is going to change? This is what magical thinking gets you. When you believe in a talking snake, you believe in orangutan can transform into a statesman. I almost feel sorry for them, but you know what? This is what you get. Republicans spent years whipping

their voters into sexist, xenophobic, self-righteous frenzy, and now they're stuck with Donald Trump. It's like finally convincing your wife to have a threesome, and then she brings home a guy. All right, we've got a great show, Ann Coulter,

Dan Savage, and Nick Gillespie are here, and a little of everybody, speaking with the immensely talented Brian. Brian Crenst in his backstage. But first up for the last 11 years, he has run one of the most successful drug treatment clinics in America. Please welcome the founder and CEO

of the Cliffside Malibu Treatment Center and co-author of Ending Addiction for Good. Richard Tate, Richard. How are you, sir? Good, thank you. Great to have you here. Thank you. I think you know why you're here.

It's an intervention for me. No, I'm kidding. No, it's because there's an epidemic. in America, and it is about drug abuse, and you know more about this than possibly anybody, because you yourself were an addict, and then you started a treatment center. You're like the hair club for men guy,

but with heroin. So tell us about your drug days and why you didn't find them fun. I did actually find them fun, okay? Right, drugs are fun. Drugs are fun. That's the problem. Right.

No one admits that, drugs are fun. Drugs are fun. Thank you for being fun. for being here. But like anything else, it stops working after a certain period of time. Especially drugs. There's always this honeymoon period. That's right.

Some drugs have, like, like liquor always works. Sure. Pot always works, but it does diminish. But there are some drugs like opiates we're going to get into, cocaine, where it's like, you only get like three months. It's a balloon payment. And then, ooh, it falls right off the chart, right? Right. Well, the thing about the prescription drug epidemic, it's so bad.

When Cliffside Malibu opened in 2005, about 20% of the people that came to us had a problem with prescription opiates. Today it's 90%. Right. Right. Yeah. I mean, you know how I knew it was bad? I was watching the Super Bowl this year, and there was a commercial for opioid-induced constipation. Right. I said, wow, because a Super Bowl commercial, the most expensive thing in the world,

I said, if this is this widespread that on the Super Bowl, they're doing ads for people who can't shit because they're on... Right. And when we talk, Opie, what are the actual names of the drugs we're talking about, Oxycontin, Percocet. Perkissette. Right. Codine, fentanyl, right?

And these constipate you, apparently. Yes. But here's the thing. thing to know. So you've got the heroin over here that's enriching the drug cartels, and then you've got all this litany of pills that are enriching the pharmaceutical companies. So what they say is don't use this. Use this. Same thing, by the way. Same thing. Just legal heroin. They always called oxy cotton, hillbilly heroin. It certainly is. I mean, I've done heroin. I've done oxy cotton, and they're the same thing. So I don't think I, you know, I know I know. I've done it. Right.

So, and then you get off that and you get on to heroin light, which is Suboxone, they call it harm reduction. Like methadone? Absolutely. It's modern-day methadone. Right. And then they say, oh, wait a minute, you're not going to be able to defecate, so you've got to use this pill. I actually took a picture of that commercial and put it on my Facebook. I was, it was blown away by it. Too much information, man.

Okay. No, I'm kidding. The least of the information. But yeah, I mean, we see this on the news every day that, you know, white people are doing heroin. And then when you read the background to this, it's because they started on the prescription drug pills because, you know, no one wants pain. And, of course, who wants pain? Nobody wants pain. But then they can't afford it, or they get cut off by their doctor.

So what do they do? They go to the drug that, as you just said, is the same thing, which is heroin. Right. But the thing about this, and I get your point, and it's well taken. The thing about it is you can be black or white, rich or poor, straight or gay. This thing, this epidemic that we've got right now doesn't discriminate. Right. It's killing everybody.

Prince was all of them, and he was on it. Look, I mean, people get very emotional when their rock stars die. I mean, I was a big prince fan. We all were. And we're not talking out of school. The autopsy report is not back yet if there ever is going to be. one, but it's pretty clear that he was on

I think it was Percocet. He had it on his body when they found him in his house. I've done a lot of drugs too, Doc. Let me tell you something. When you got the drugs on you in your house, it's one thing when you go out of the house. When you don't think you could make it to the next room?

That coffee table is far away. Let me just put these in my bathrobe. That's a serious drug problem. So here's the important takeaway, right? We know that he was probably on those opiates for hip pain. We also have reports that he had sleep problems. Sleep medication with prescription opiates is a disaster.

It's lethal. You can't take those two at the same time. Why did he die? because the opiates slowly sort of suffocate you? They suppress respiration. Right. Right. But they're not made.

These opiates are not made for long-term care. So the CDC just came out and offered up a report in the last, I think, 30 days. And what they said was three days to seven days. That's it. Right. So the FDA comes out and says, we like what you just said. Why don't we get all these doctors together? and start coaching them up and nip this epidemic in the bud.

Sure. And what happened was is the pharmaceutical industry, the lobby, came out and pushed back against it and said, right? It's like all of a sudden they're the AMA lobby, right? I mean, they were really concerned. Well, I mean, it's important to note that America's 5% of the world's population uses 75% of the prescription drugs in the world. That's a pretty amazing statistic. At least. And what's even more important is that right now, you've got 27 million people in the country who are abusing these drugs, but only 2.5 million were able to get treatment.

Every candidate, the president, the drugs are, everybody thinks we need more treatment. And then there are these local communities, even in California, a liberal place like California. they just introduced the bill AB 2403 that's going to decimate, I mean, take away thousands of treatment beds that we need. Let me ask you one last question that's a little broader about society. I mean, I was a kid in the 60s. The drugs were LSD and marijuana, psychedelic, stuff like that. In the 70s you moved into cocaine and quayludes.

In the 90s it was ecstasy. And now it's opiates. What is the fact that opiates is the drug of choice say about our society now as opposed to our society in other decades? So I think that we are a society that is depressed. We're a depressive society. I don't know if it has to do with... Trump? It all comes back to Trump.

Right, for sure. I don't know if it has to do with income inequality or... the lack of opportunity, or just life on life's terms, because it can be hard sometimes, right? Capitalism, when you don't ameliorate it with, you know, some things, is pretty rough on people. There's a lot of losers in society, and that's the way we wanted here in America, apparently. But, yeah, I get your point. Well, when you're depressed, you have this type of learned helplessness, if you will, right? And when you take a painkiller, they call it painkillers for a reason, and it actually works.

better on emotional pain than it does on physical pain. So when you take the painkiller and you're depressed, you go, okay, I'm good. And you're hooked. All right. I'll see you after the show at the parking lot. All right. Thank you.

I appreciate it. That's meet our panel. Terrible things I say. I don't know why I do it. All right. At Smin' Our panel, he is the editor-in-chief of Reason.com and Reason TV and co-author of The Declaration of Independence. Nick Gillespie's back with us.

Nick, how you doing? He writes the nationally syndicated column, Savage Love, and hosts the Savage Lovecast podcast, Dan Savage is right. And she's the author of Adios America, the left's plan to turn our country into a third world hellhole. Anne Coulter is over here. Come on, give it up. Remember to send us your question for tonight.

It's overtime so we can answer them after the show on YouTube. All right, I'm going to break format tonight and start with a clip. This is from our overtime. You know, we do overtime, which is something we do for the Internet after the show. If people want to, like, I don't know why they do this. Turn off HBO and turn on your computer. But this is from the last time you were on the show. This is when there were many, many, many Republican presidential candidates still in the race.

And here's the question that someone asked, and I relate it to you, and here's what happened. Okay, here we are. And which Republican candidate has the best chance of winning the general election? Of the declared ones right now, Donald Trump. Go ahead. You gloats, eat crow.

You want to get your stock tips from me now? Yeah, I... No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American people. Well, a lot of people apparently have. Because a lot of people said he wouldn't even win a primary. So last week, Rob Reiner, who I was... love was here, and we ended the show by saying,

I think Hillary's going to live in a, win in a landslide. And I said, don't say that. So I'm giving you credit for that, and I also want to use you to scare liberals. What I ask you right now, can Trump win the general election? It's possible.

I don't know. Hear that? You sound a lot less certain. No, I mean, what I would say about Trump is, and that's why I'm so glad it's Trump. I think he will do better than any other Republican could have, as the results of this primary election show. He does represent not only the Republican Party,

but large segments of the Democratic Party that has been being ignored, ignored. We have been asking for the wall. We've been asking for a decrease in immigration. And time after time, the people rise up, shut down amnesty, throw out Dave Bratt beats Eric Cantor, and they can't learn. Well, I think we know now the wall is fine.

We have a time out on immigration. We already have one because our economy sucks worse than Mexico. So there's been net out migration of Mexicans. They're going back to Mexico. It's true. It's not true. It's not true. Our economy sucks worse than Mexico's?

Why don't you move there? You know what? Because I don't speak the language. He's wrong about that. Our economy is not worse than Mexico's, but we have one million fewer Mexican immigrants. They are leaving a country now than we did seven years ago. That's what the government says. The government says we have 11 million flea.

Eagles, they're wrong about that too. All right. But can the party win that is so split? I mean, George Will is somebody I've been reading my whole life. I don't always agree with him, but sometimes he's persuasive. He's an amazing thinker.

He hates me, by the way, which I love. I wouldn't have it any other way. I like you even more. Right. And he said he is against Trump big time. He said, this is a time for prudence which demands the prevention of a Trump presidency. He says, conservative have two tasks. The first is to help him lose 50 states

and keep Hillary to one term. How can you win when a party is split this much? The party is not split. Trump has gotten more votes than anyone else running in a Republican primary. You were talking about a few sore losers. Now they know how I feel when McKinman was running. So I hope they're enjoying it. And by the way, I wasn't as much of a little bitch as George Will as she. But Ann, Bobby Jindle says Donald Trump is a narcissist, and he's an egomaniac.

I wouldn't want his fingers on the nuclear codes, but he's going to vote for him. Peter King, wait, Peter King, a guy with, calls Trump, a guy with no knowledge of what's going on, but he's going to vote for him. Rick Perry calls him a cancer on conservativeism. Right, well, some of these...

But he's going to vote for cancer. And he's... Eddie offered to be his running mate. Yeah. He offered to be cancer's running. Is this putting country first? Okay, let's look at what Sanders said about Hillary, point one. But point two, Trump is crushing the primaries.

He got half a million more votes than Romney did in Florida. He got half a million more votes in the Republican primary in Florida than the Democrats got. He's the party. Like, nobody is going to go, oh, I'm with Gindle. Whatever Gendell wants, I'll do. I mean, these are like loser candidates. But what Trump is good at, and I'm... dislike Trump because he is a perfect Republican.

Every one of his points from the stupid wall to bombing countries, etc. He's just doing exactly what the Republicans have said that we should be doing for a long time. Not at all. Yes. What the base has been saying, and they've been ignoring. That's the difference.

And that's the problem for the Republican Party because they've reached a point where they need to, like Bertolt Brecht said about, they need to dissolve the base and elect a new one. And they can't. The problem is the base. They've been cranking up, gathering together every,

Rube, racist, nutjob, sexist, homophobe in the country, calling them Republicans, and finally they voted for one of their own. But wait. But he's the less. I want you to be the spokesman for Hillary Clinton with that line. That's going to be a big hit with the American people who are overwhelmingly voting for Trump. 20 percent. No, the GOP base, which is overwhelmingly rube's idiots, sexist, racists are overwhelmingly voting for Trump.

The American people are not going to overwhelmingly love Trump. I'm with you. I'm a Catholic. I'm not into jinxing things. So I'm not going to say Hillary's going to win in a landslide. But the American people are not the GOP base, which is what you're arguing. In Massachusetts, no, I'm not. I'm saying in Massachusetts, 20,000 Democrats switch their registration to Republican to vote for Trump. In Pennsylvania, 60,000 Democrats switch their registration.

And how many of them were monkey-rested? This is the country. Hillary is widely disliked. She's got like a 55% unfavorability rating. The minute she starts talking, that will go higher. she's awful. I think she's as bad as Trump in different ways. But what Trump has going for him just as a tactician,

he knows how, like he knows next week you've got another episode. And he's going to throw something out there and he's going to mix it up every time he was written off. Next week. Next hour. Yeah. I mean, I would not... It's not fun. I mean... It is fun. The odds are against him, but I bet you

he will run like the greatest, most entertaining campaign of all times. But this is not entertainment. This is supposed to be a country. It is important to be entertaining. You make serious points, and you are a whole time to be in. I know, but I'm not running for president. No, I know.

I'm saying that, but people watch you. They start laughing. In the case of Trump, you're watching because he's fun and entertaining. And then you start thinking, oh, wait, I agree with that. He has 30,000 people at his rallies. So what? You know, I could let loose a zoo animal, and there would be people. I don't think you could.

I don't think there would be 30,000 people coming out and cheering every time he talks about the wall that zoo animal. Historically, a lot of people coming to your rallies can be problematic. Oh, like Obama? Not necessarily a big upsocket. Yeah, like Obama. Okay. Okay, but 20% of Republicans say they will vote for Hillary. And there are Republicans like Kelly Ayat who say she will not endorse him, but she supports him,

which is a little like saying, I'll fuck you, but I won't be. seen in public with you. Paul Ryan, as I mentioned, in the monologue, this is the titular head of the party. No, he isn't. He's the speaker of the hat. He's not hated by the base. Yes, he is absolutely hated. He's the next

Eric Cantor, who was the highest member of leadership ever to lose in a primary. What you are seeing here, quite possibly within Anne herself, it's the implosion of the Republican Party. No, it isn't. It is breaking down. And by the way, as a libertarian, I can't wait for this

to happen because the Republican Party for years has always talked to libertarian line where we want small government this and that, and all they have done on every level on personal liberties as well as wars and in terms of regulation. They're terrible, so I want to see it implode and I hope neither of the two

halves come back to life. And then I want to see the Democratic. Let me ask... Then there's no party. We're getting rid of the dead wood is all. Does it matter to you that Trump is going to crash the markets? Because, let me tell you something, what the markets hate. They hate volatility. He is

personification of volatility. They hate uncertainty. That's exactly who he is. He threatened today to default on the U.S. debt. Exactly. They hate trade wars. They hate debt. He is all those things put together. Who would who but Donald Trump

would threaten to default on our bonds? The one thing that the world buys because they are known to be the safest thing in the world. And he talks about them like he's negotiating with some guy who was putting in a stairway in a building of his. Because he doesn't know what they are. Right. He's the great businessman and he doesn't know anything about money.

He thinks we can get rid of our debt in eight years. If you're born with enough money, you don't really have to know anything about it. That's true. He knows about money. Well, he doesn't have $10 billion. That's bullshit you bought. Well, I don't really care, but he sure owns a lot of property that seems to be worth a lot of money. Anyway, I think he may be worth a lot of money.

Anyway, I think you're misunderstanding what you're calling volatility. He's saying unpredictability in foreign policy. And, yeah, okay, we're not going to tell ISIS what we're doing. We're going to negotiate tough with China. I don't think our foreign policy should be based on what Wall Street wants. Okay, but he's already in a feud with the Speaker of the House. This is not something that the market... No, he's not. He's been very nice.

I think the problem is with the Speaker of the House. You also have to understand the Republicans now, the leadership. they have like until the convention to kind of negotiate with him a little bit they have no leverage he's run the table so they're going to be like oh you know we're holding off a little bit paul ryan has already said i'm not endorsing him yet you know he's going to really do you know you don't want hw bush or w bush at that convention if you want to win in the fall just i mean as a straight right right so he's doing a good job okay but we're past the part where we're talking about winning now we're talking about what he's going to do what this great businessman is going to do. Okay, first we're going to deport 11 million people, so there'll be a lot of openings

for nannies and gardeners and short-stop. And their children. Right. Okay, that's number one. And we'll need a police force and the institution of a police state unlike anything that I've seen in this country. And then China, there's going to be a trade war so a dildo at Walmart will be $200 but a small

price to pay for making America great again. Okay, may I answer these? Yes, please do. Okay, number one, there's not going to be police force. All he needs to do is enforce the law on the books. We're going to have a wall. So what happens when they don't go? How do you enforce the law on the books without a police forced to enforce

the law on the books? We already have ice. They're being stopped. Last week, ICE released. We don't. How many hundreds of thousands of ICE agents will you have to hire to round up 11 areas? You don't need to hire them. Tell them they can do their jobs now. That is a really These are laws on the book.

The only way that this happens is where every one of us at every time and every job hire, every job firing, every cross into a new thing, there's going to be a lockdown. There has to be. If our highest, if it's not, if it's... Can we back up?

Why do we want to throw these 11 million people out of the country? They contribute more to our economy than they take out. They pay more in taxes than they receive in services. They're... They're fewer crimes? Illegal immigrants commit fewer crimes per capita. Native-born American-born Americans, not Native-born Americans, are two and a half times more likely committed by a crime,

two and a half times more likely to be in prison than illegal immigrants. They're not false facts. Not only are they false facts, but even if they are true facts, then you need to go and elect people who will change the laws. But your rationale for building this giant wall is bullshit. No, the rationale is he's the commander-in-chief. He protects the borders. Those are the laws.

All he's saying is, I will be the first president who will enforce the law. And I know you all want to pay your maids even less, but most Americans don't say this is useful. No, I don't want a fucking path to citizenship. I just want to give them citizenship. Okay, all that's why they're all low-wage workers. That means our salaries go up. Your main salary goes down.

Please, a path to shut up now. So, listen, we have a tradition here when a primary ends. And obviously, Kasek and Ted Cruz said uncle this week. So it is Donald Trump. You get credit for predicting that. But every time this happens here on real time, our tradition is we then say a fond goodbye

the people who made it so memorable. And so please help us right now. Say goodbye to the people who made this possibly the most fucked up election ever. When I was a teenager, I almost stab someone. A lot of people who go into prison go into prison straight, and when they come out, they're gay. Please clap.

That's it? Thank you. I'm kicking me out the door. My party is going that shit crazy. And you know what they say about men with small hands? I hope the president's watching tonight, because here's what I'd like to tell him. We are going to kick your rear end out of the White House, come this wall.

Nobody knows me. It's Kasich. It rhymes with Basin. President of the United States, Ted Cruz. You know, the amazing thing is, that basketball ring, here in Indiana, it's the same height as it is in New York City and every other place in this country. It's a tradition.

All right, he is the Oscar-nominated actor who reprises his Tony winning role as LBJ in the HBO film All the Way, premiering May 21st. Brian Cranston was over. I was giving out free oxy-cotton, love. Well, they love you because you are a great thespian. I said, Thespian. But is true, you, I mean, this movie I was watching it, first of all the way, it sounds like one of those teen. comedies where they lose their virginity. But it's really about

LBJ. So you did this on Broadway? I did. Okay. You look practiced in the party. I mean, as far as historical dramas go, I mean, sometimes people get the accent. Sometimes they get the look, and sometimes they get the essence of the person, and I felt you got all three.

Thank you. I mean, you are LBJ. I felt like Brian Cranston disappeared, like, within the first 10 seconds of the movie. Well, that's the best thing that anyone could say. Right. Yeah.

It surprises me. Two and a half hours in makeup, and they start putting it on, and I can see him start to come to the surface. Right. And it really helps. So let's educate the kids. Yes. Who are not quite as old as us.

About LBJ, because a lot of them, you know, those are just initials in a history book. He came along, of course, he was Kennedy's vice president. Right. And then when Kennedy was shot, he took over. Wait, what? Yeah. You didn't do the background reading. I missed that part.

I don't know. You just read your lines and the script. Wow. My stuff, my stuff. Bullshit, bullshit. My line. Of course, that's how actors are. But I always thought that this movie, as I watched it, would be a great companion piece to Spielberg's Lincoln. Because they're both about presidents.

First of all, they're both entertaining about procedural matters. Right. Which is a very hard thing to do. But they're both about presidents who saw a window, a brief window, to get legislation passed, both about our original sin of racism and took that opportunity. And that's what you played. True.

And almost exactly 100 years after Lincoln in 1964, LBJ was able to pass the Civil Rights Act in 1964. And he knew that he would have a honeymoon period after the assassination. There was a period of time that the Congress and the citizens of this country would be all in. We'll do whatever you want. We need to heal. Because of the sense.

sympathy for Kennedy. The sympathy for it. Yeah. And so he knew it was, he had that window of opportunity. And within six months, he passed this legendary. But it was hardly easy.

Oh, no. God, no. That's the way I remember it, because I was only a child. And, oh, Kennedy died, so they did whatever he wanted. Hardly. No.

And, of course, I think what makes me love this movie so much is that when you think of LBJ, you think of the consummate politician, the arm twister. But what you find out here is that he really believed in it. There was a moral center to him.

He really wanted to be, and of course, as a southern president, had to be a southern president, who would drag his part of the country out of the past, out of their racist past. For a hundred years, the Dixie Kratz had a lock on the South, and in 1964, that changed at all. Right. I mean, he tells that story. I mean, you do it in the movie about, I guess,

a black person who worked for him, who used to drive back to his ranch and couldn't go to the bathroom. Right. Had to pull over to the side of the road. Along the side of the road, she had to pee like a dog. That's just not right.

See? Sounds just like it. He would use any means necessary to get what he needed to get done. Back in his day, politics ran on the horse trade. knew that if I needed something from you, I'm going to find out what you need and I'm going to make sure we do that.

The other thing that was different back then is they often socialized with senators and congressmen from the other side. They knew their wives and the kids' names so that the next day, when it came time to really iron out a policy, I'm not going to throw this person under the bus. I like him. He has a nice wife. So, come on, let's, damn it, let's figure this out. Right, that guy, Uncle Dick, who's...

Yeah. Richard Russell, a senator from Georgia. Right, who is his mentor. But also, you know, a segregationist. Right. But they used to have dinner together every week. All the time. So that made a difference, yeah.

So I hear that you do, I mean, I've heard of a double take. And once in a while, it's rare, but you see someone do a triple take. I understand Brian Cranston that you can do a quadruple take. And I said, when I heard it, I said, this is not possible. I mean, he's a great thespian. I don't know where you know. I just did it. You missed it.

Oh. No one could do a quadruple take. What? And a spit take at the same time. Okay. I did miss it. Twice. So, so interesting part of this movie is that the people who were, you know, having to, in their view,

give up their way of life by when the 1964 Civil Rights Act was passed, felt that they were being discriminated against, that they were the ones who were being made to suffer. And it reminded me so much of the gay marriage argument. So many, I think, people in this country who were against that, the Kim Davis's of the world, were like, what about our rights? What about our right to take away your rights? Yeah. And you see that these these things aren't new. The biggest

argument that the South had, the Dixocrats, were take time, we don't need to change things quickly. It's only been 100 years. It's all. It's just a hundred years. Yeah. You know, and that's, it was something that LBJ needed to risk. He knew he had to risk that.

And he did. He risked it. He lost it. the support of all the Dixiecrats come in 1964. Right. Well, what do you think about the fact that bathrooms, because we were talking about the bathroom thing, is, again, an issue in this country, that transgender people somehow have gotten risen

to the top of the political charts about where they can go to the bathroom? Target, you know, groups are running. The American Family Association has said it's collected over a million. signatures online to, you know, get back a target for saying you can shit where you want. And it's... Which is really a kind of good choice.

They couldn't demagogue anymore about gays and lesbians because too many of us are out and too many people know us. So they took the same old script. Oh, they're recruiting children, praying on children, threatening children, creeping in bathrooms. That was the script. That was what they said about gay men 40 years ago. And they're just taking that and applying it now to trans women. And it's bullshit.

And trans women and men use bathrooms all over the country and have forever. And they have actually no cases to point to where a trans person has exploited a civil rights protection to prey on a child. There are lots of cases where... Wait, is it about Mexicans? It isn't. Well, I could make it about Mexicans. I will say... Instead of building a wall, we need to build a stall that's...

Beautiful. A tremendous, huge. Maybe that's what Trump meant. Yeah. They built stalls all along the border. Right. And I'll make Caitlin pay for it. No, Trump said Caitlin could use the bathroom.

No, he's good on this issue. Exactly. He doesn't care about drugs. That's right. I think we're growing up as a society. You know, there's discrimination prejudice out there. No, I think it's a temporary respite. I think that people hate Mexicans.

The Republican base hated Mexico. It's more racist than they are transphobic. Trump won that, but it'll be back. We're relitigating. Wait, wait, wait. Well, I can't make the alternative argument? Yes, please. You can get back to that.

Yes. First of all, I. I completely reject the comparison of either Mexicans, since you brought them up, illegal aliens or gays, to the black experience in America. And I think that's an important point that always needs to remain. And I agree with that. You're brought here as slaves and discriminated against that.

It's a special experience, and I hate that comparison all the time. And I would say that the argument on the bathrooms, it's not that transgendered people are going to go and molest children. It's that once you say men can go into women's bathrooms, men who were out shopping with their little daughters and don't have mommy to bring her in there. It's not that the trans are going to molest them. It's that a child molester

now has the right to go into that bathroom. That's bullshit. A child molester doesn't need to put on a dress to enter a bathroom. You can Google sexually assaulted in a restroom and you get thousands of examples of cisgender straight men. You know who the child molester is? It's Dennis Hasterd.

Yes. Who was sitting watching boys shower. year after year in a lazy boy chair because he wanted to make sure nothing weird was going on and so he watched the boy's shower. I saw on the paper today, Joe Paterna was aware of Jerry Sandusky in 1976.

This is the child molesting week. But Bill, that makes your argument against Republicans and doesn't make your argument for him that men will not become wrestling coaches to bless him. Let me get back to the bigger, more important point which is, and it's good. I think the Republican Party has gotten over their obsession with these web issues.

I don't think so. Wedge issues. I'm sorry. Because Donald Trump, they had their choice to pick Rick Santorum, Mike Huckabee, Ted Cruz, all these people who prayed their way across the country. And they opted for the New Yorker with three wives who doesn't give a shit about any of this. He doesn't care about gay marriage. He doesn't care about where people go to the bathroom.

I mean, he says, nobody reads the Bible more than me. No one actually believes. Number two Corinthians Number two. I was going number two Corinthians at the time. This is good news. I mean, I don't think you can attach that to it yet.

Let's wait three more election cycles and see. Maybe. Because we're litigating access to birth control. We thought that was a settled issue. That even people opposed abortion for birth control. But suddenly... Bobby Jindal made plan B. He wants to make a contraception.

He's a religious Catholic. or was a governor of Louisiana, he wanted to make it over the counter. I mean, I worry about some of the same issues. I don't think this is temporary. Only 26% of the population identifies those. I was going to say, maybe it's time for a viable third party that is socially conscious, but yet physically responsible.

What happened to those people? Those are called Democrats. No, they're called Trumpsters. That's true. It's the libertarian party. Okay. But now that we're in a place where the only one, thing that

the only thing that perhaps stands between us and the end of civilization is Hillary. What should

Hillary's strategy be against Donald Trump? Because I saw she was trying to trot out and I think they're just

testing things now, that he is a loose cannon. I don't know if that's going to work. I think that's

certainly what his fans like about him, that he is a great Dane released into a toddler's birthday party.

He just fucks everything up. So how do you go out this guy who is a walking brain for it? Who will say anything? Because certainly the Republicans, the other ones, never found a strategy that even touched Godzilla.

What should be her strategy against Trump? But the Republican, other candidates were competing for the votes of the batshit Republican base. We're in a different place now. You're voting for Hillary, right? Of course I'm voting for Hillary. Of course. I've been you know, this is, we don't have,

you know, we have two bad choices as far as I'm They're equally in their own ways. The lesser of two evils are less evil. No, but what I'm saying... And I don't think she's evil, but pivoting off his argument that she's terrible. No, no. What I'm saying, so what is her strategy then?

Because the minute she starts talking about stuff, people are going to be like, oh, I remember why I didn't vote for her in 2008. I remember that she's an idiot who said that, you know, fucking, you know, that Libya, she points to the invasion of Libya in her latest book and still talks about it as a great moment of smart power. It's like, are you fucking kidding? We've destroyed a country. First of all, it wasn't her decision.

She wasn't the president. No, it was. She defended it. And by the way, we didn't invade Libya. It was a humanitarian. It was a humanitarian admission. What if we were wrong saw? Are you kidding? You know what?

First of all, Ronald Reagan would have done the exact same thing. Of course he would. He absolutely would not have. You're saying you are anti-war, right, in general. What were we doing in Libya? And how can you say, If you're the second, how did it work out well? It didn't work out well, but you're forgetting about why it happened

because people were about to be slaughtered by Gaddafi. Yes, you conveniently forget that. What happened is that Obama made a speech. And again, if it was Ronald Reagan, you would have gotten a hard on where he said the United States is not like any other country. We can't just ignore shit like this. The United States is different. And they all got a tune in their eye.

No, that's exactly what happened. Do you agree with Trump? The true Reagan policy, not like these pretenders here. No, do you know? Like he did in Lebanon? That's a good, that was the right move. That was the right move. We shouldn't have been there in the first place. Okay. But he put us there.

Yeah, no, I'm just saying. I'm still trying to find an answer to the question. Reagan has three military interventions. There were 250 people killed. What? That's the big cowboy, you know, Mr. I'm going to go constantly bomb people. There were three military interventions under Reagan in 8. years.

Yeah, by today's Republican Party standards, Reagan was a Democrat. Who were killed in bombing Libya? Reagan couldn't win the Republican in the United. And then there was a marine up and 11 and that's it. These new Republicans want to go to war country

and the Democrats are going to war. Hillary should stay focused on the issues and take the high ground. So it shows greater contrast to her opponent. Don't get sucked into his energy. If you get sucked into that vortex, she will swirl down the toilet.

Right. I agree with that. You know, they stay calm and stay confident. I think the best move, I'm with the two of them. Her best move is to get indicted. So no one hears her talk anymore because she's just out of the picture. Oh, dream on. Indicted for what?

I'm coming up with strategies for her. I'm not saying she shouldn't be. And you know what? Nobody hates Hillary once she's in. Everybody hated Hillary when she was running for the Senate. She was a senator. Everybody loves Hillary. Everybody hated Hillary, which is running for president.

Once she was secretary of state, and we saw her all the time. She did a great job. Why does she have a 55% unfavorable? Maybe there is a right-wing hit machine that's been after her for 30 years and had an impact. That's exactly right. That's exactly why. Hillary is, there's nothing wrong with Hillary. Hillary's the perfect. We didn't say, and we didn't say there's nothing wrong with her.

She's not even our first choice. This is what I'm saying, though. She is unliked. So who the fuck are you voting for them? What? I am going to vote for Paul Ryan when he makes his decision. I'm going to vote for the libertarian candidate. Who the hell is that? It's probably going to be Gary Johnson.

Wait, wait. Here, it's a former two-term governor of New Mexico. We've got a million votes last. I love libertarians, but they never succeed in the libertarian market of getting votes. Yeah, sure. And there's a reason for that. There's a reason for that. All right.

All right. Everybody shut the fuck up. It's time for New Rule. New Roll, now that Hamilton, a musical where black and Hispanic men play singing, dancing, founding fathers, has garnered a record 16. Tony nominations, someone has to write a show where boring white guys play slaves who just stand there and talk and call a 12 years of primary. New World, the Biomedical Company that announced plans to bring dead people back to life

through stem cell therapy, must promise to never use it on Abraham Lincoln. Because if he saw what happened to his party, he'd head straight back to the theater. New Roll Thai restaurants and Thai massage parlors. must merge and offer a rub and grub combo stuff. Oh, they'll do it. Neuro, the biotech company that wants to use drones to deliver organs to patients has to not do that. Imagine telling a patient the good news is we found a donor.

Bad news is your liver is stuck in a tree. Neuro, this couple caught openly having sex on a subway platform have to hurry up and finish already. It's frustrating enough, wondering when the train is going to come. And finally, new rules since 80 countries in the world have elected a woman leader, but not the United States of us, yet. We must admit that when it comes to being progressive, we are often late to the party.

And if you need further proof, this Sunday, which is Mother's Day, think about the fact that when my mother was born women in America could not vote my mother not some far distant relative I discovered an ancestry dot com

my mother who was born in 1919 the year before women got the vote of course by the time she had me in 1956 things for women had really changed how much I'll leave that to Rex Harrison to explain

and he played Professor Henry Higgins when My Fair Lady opened on Broadway in 1956. Hit it, Rex. But women are irrational. That's all there is to that. Their heads are full of cotton hay and rags. They're nothing but exasperating, irritating, vacillating, calculating, calculating, maddening and infuriating hags.

And he's the hero. But that was how women reviewed. in the 1950s. Irrational, pouty, vain, thin-skinned, hysterical, and just not that bright. Does that sound like anyone we know today?

Who? Who? Oh, yeah. Yes, Donald Trump, who says that if Hillary Clinton was a man, she wouldn't get 5% of the vote. And if Trump was a man, he'd stop whining

like a little bitch. This is a guy who actually brawage. about his prowess at whining. I am a whiner, and I'm a whiner, and I keep whining and whining until I win. Yes, it's the I Love Lucy School of Diplomacy. Does anyone fit the stereotypical 50s description

of a woman better than Donald Trump? Any cringe-inducing line they ever said about a secretary on madmen is true about Trump, and yet he's the one with the penis. And we know that, because if you make fun of it, he'll be up all night tweeting about how great it is. He accuses Megan Kelly of being menstrual,

but for him, that time of the month is always. Has there anyone ever been anyone more thin-skinned? I made a joke about his father being an orangutan once, and he marched into court with his birth certificate and sued me. Because he's a wanny little bitch, and if he's not suing you... If he's not suing you, he's threatening to sue you or demanding an apology.

You're threatening to spill the beans. He did that a few months ago when he was still battling Ted Cruz, and someone posted a picture of his wife he didn't like, so he tweeted he'd spill the beans about Ted's wife. And then literally told the press, he started it. Just like Teddy Roosevelt would do. Yes, a billionaire and a United States senator

in the girl's shower throwing tampons at Carrie. I sure hope this man gets elected so the world respects us again. And I mean this in no way to disparage vaginas, but what a pussy. I mean, who gets more hysterical than Lady Donald Trump seeing Mexican rapists everywhere? Who? My salts! My salts!

We must build a wall, a giant wall. And bathe all the Muslims! He makes Lindsay Graham look like Vin Diesel. This isn't presidential. It's Glenn Close, boiling the rabbit. And, like the daffy, typical housewife of the 50s, Lady Trump is the one who can't balance a checkbook. Trump Airlines, Trump casinos, Trump University, Trump Stakes.

He's got the Midas touch of every time Midas touched something, it exploded. I could... I could go on, but instead, I'd like to turn it back over to Rex Harrison to sum it all up. Why is thinking something women never do? Why is logic never even tried? Straightening up their hair is all they ever do. Why don't they straighten up the mess that's inside? So never forget, Lady Trump, that Hillary Clinton was born a woman.

But you chose to live your life as a... Say it with me, won't you, whiny little bitch? Which is why if Hillary is the Democratic nominee, I'll be voting for the only one who has balls. All right, that's our show. I'll be at the King Center in Melbourne, Florida, May 15th, and at the Mirage, back in Vegas, July 22nd, and 23rd. I wanted to thank Nick Gillespie, Dan Savage,

and Colter Brian Crenson, and Richard Tate. Join us now for overtime on YouTube. Thank you, folks. Catch all new episodes of Real Time with Bill Maher every Friday night at 10 or watch them anytime on HBO On Demand. For more information, log on to HBO.com.