Real Time with Bill Maher - Episode #405 (Originally aired 09/30/16)

Episode Date: October 1, 2016

Episode #405 (Originally aired 09/30/16) - Bill’s guests are Sean Penn, Sarah Silverman, Peter Hamby, Steve Moore and Angela Rye. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO late-night series Real Time with Bill Maugh. Ladies and gentlemen, I wish I could live up to that. I don't know if I can't. I may be losing it tonight. All I can say to start the show is welcome to another week of, yes, this is really happening.

I don't know if you saw what happened this morning, but Donald Trump, a 70-year-old man and father of five, when apeshit on Twitter, between 320 and 5.30 in the morning, slut-shaming Miss Universe, 1996. That's the true part. Remember Hillary's ad from 2008? Who do you want answering the White House phone at 3 a.m.?

How about someone who's not already enraged in a hissy fit? How about... I... But... But... getting ahead of myself. Let me go back to the beginning. America used to be a country. No.

Okay, not that far. Let's just go back to Monday night. Did you see the debate? Okay, the debate. Interesting debate. Hillary made her case for being president that she has the experience and the temperament to be the commander-in-chief.

Donald Trump made his case. I hate Rosie O'Donnell, but she started it. Is this really happening? Trump interrupted her 51 times. At one point, she had to say, Mommy's talking. Mommy. I mean, he actually had a meltdown.

Donald Trump had a meltdown about what a great temperament he has. It was like watching someone carve, I'm not a psycho, into their arm. I can't process it anymore. And even though all the polls say that Hillary won the debate, no, he won. And if he didn't win, totally not his fault.

The moderator asked the wrong questions. He had a bad microphone. The whole system is rigged. She had the questions beforehand. The sun was in my eyes. The Coke wore off. I mean, even Ryan Locti was like, stop with the bullshit about being robbed.

You whiny little bitch. I mean, well, I don't know. Hillary got a big bump after the debate, and Trump looked like he did a big bump before the debate. I mean, I'm hearing. I don't know it for a fact. I hope it's not true. A lot of people are saying it.

A lot of people are saying it. That's all I know. I hope it's not true. Well, you know, he was sniffing a lot. It was either that or he's allergic to facts. I think it may be the case Donald Trump was born with a silver spoon in his nose. Well, I only say that because, I mean, he came out

absolutely manic. The first half ever, charging like a rabid weasel, sniffling, cotton mouth, kept drinking, rambling like the guy you can't get out of your apartment. And then, most tellingly, 30 minutes in, crashed. Did you notice that? Ironically, the guy who wants to build the wall hit a wall. Which was actually the best part of the whole night

because he went after Hillary on stamina. Stamina? She was Bruce Springsteen, just getting warmed up after 90 minutes. And he was fat, Elvis, forgetting the lyrics to Are You Lonesome Tonight, which brings me back to Miss Universe with what I was starting with. Yes, so he went after the stamina thing,

so she said, you know what? This is really about what you were talking about with women for years. Look, and she said, you called Miss Universe 1996, Miss Piggy. Okay, that was Monday. Here it is Friday morning, and this nincompoop is still obsessed with it.

He was tweeting all night about Miss 1996. She's disgusting, imploring people to check out her sex tape. Yes, Donald Trump, major party nominee who wants to be the President of the United States is urging the American public to check out a sex tape that

doesn't exist from a Venezuelan reality show. Republicans out there, thank you so much for this. Thank you so much. You must be so fucking proud. That your candidate finally takes a concrete position

on something, and it's no fat chicks. And this is how Trump treats pageant contestants? Imagine how he treats poor Melania. She knows six words, and two of them are cupcake bad. All right, we got a great show. Steve Moore, Angela Rye, and Peter Hamby is here. Are here, and I'll be speaking with my good friend, Sarah Silverman's back saying.

What a night. But first up, he is an Oscar, winner, wow, on our show. Some actor, a lot of people would say the best actor of his generation. He narrates the new audiobook by first-time author Pappy Pariah called Bob Honey Who Just Do Stuff. It's available for free, can't beat that price, at audible.com. He always runs toward the fire.

Sean Penn. Yes. All right. Now, Sean, let's get right to what people are thinking. Why are you plugging someone else's book? Well, this is a book that came to me in a kind of mysterious way. It was somebody I had met one time in 19... That happens to you a lot.

Right. Mysterious things. Mysterious things. Somebody had met once in 1979, and who had, through a longer story, had the address of my mother. And then sometime in early May this year, I got a manuscript and connected to some lawyers in the Cayman Islands and so on and so forth. Then I read this book. that he wanted, I think I was the only quote-unquote celebrity he'd ever met. And so after reading the book, he thought of this guy he met in 1979,

who then realized it was the guy he'd met after I started becoming a public figure. You're his surrogate. In a sense. He can't get this book sold. Well, I guess this was the idea. And so I read it. And what I was reading was, in essence, the book I would have written if I was, writing a book. I just felt like finally somebody...

But you're a great writer. You could write a book. Oh, I couldn't write this book. This is the book. What is it? Is it a memoir? Is it a novel? He calls it a memoir. What? Well... My suspicion is that much of what's in it might be true but exposed highly illegal activities on his part. And so he's made it a fiction.

Oh, I see. Romano Clay. Exactly. Okay. So why did it move you so much? Well, here's the thing. You know what, and I was watching your monologue, it's a time. You had to.

You were standing right there. It was not a choice, but... Yeah, but I could have tuned it out. Yeah, you could have. Imagine if you had the earbuds in, that would be a... So often at this time, when one's watching the news, you just feel like the reporter or the pundit should not be continuing to speak, but actually running to pull the fire alarm and say, you know, what the hell is happening here. So this book,

by the time I got to the end of it, I realized that almost everything that his character, Bob Honey, is doing and believing and the thought process was in sync with what I thought, but I was only, I wasn't hearing it on the news, I was hearing it from a character who's clearly a sociopath. And I thought, well, when the sociopaths are making more sense than anything we're seeing in mainstream news media, it's time to hear them out and heal it. Well, that could be a defense for Trump. I mean, there's a sociopath. And he's a kind of a character in the book. But that's a 12-year-old sociopath. I see

So I get it So we're We're on the side of the mature sociopaths I see Okay so So I read it also I mean I was fascinated by it

First of all it's short Which I love Yeah I like that too No I do I mean who has time anymore Books are slow and long It is It is beautifully written

And it's sort of a fever dream I'm not sure I got all of it. But you're right. He's a guy who seems to be in an intelligence agency, or it was at some point. He kills people. So, you know, he's, as you say, maybe associate with it. But he has a moral code. Yes, I think he has a clear moral code.

What is that? How would you describe that? Well, he has a clear moral code that has to do with something that we've always had trouble with in terms of morality. which is the principle of triage. Triage. Triage. What you treat first. What you treat first.

And also, I think that what's also unique about the character is that, for example, he talks about words being as lethal as a gun, but nobody needs a background check for the words. He talks about not having that understanding that if we truly want to see less gun violence, then some legitimate controls may be in place, but he's not sure in the greater advertising environment if people genuinely want to stop seeing gun violence. There's a kind of exploration of the chaotic part of what's happening in a culture where now we're seeing people who, I mean, for example,

the Trump voters, and quite clearly one of the characters in the book is Donald Trump. The Trump voters, I think, in the Pappy Pariah scheme of it, or in his character Bob Honey's scheme, is those voters are one of two categories. They are either the highly uninformed, and you could use a less polite word for some of them. Deplorables. She called them.

And I think it was asked. Yeah, and you're also looking at a country of people who are truly unwittingly willing to dismiss their love for their children to engage in a, kind of a political temper tantrum. And to, you know, as he says in the book, look at me, I'm a pisser on a tree. Ouch goes to the human heart.

And so I think that we're in that time now. And I read to read this book, and also the title got me, Bob Honeyhood just do stuff, because that's what it's about. He just do stuff. And you do stuff. You do a lot of stuff.

I mean, I said in your interest, or you run toward the fire. You know, you always do that. You go where it seems like it's most dangerous. I mean, I could read a list of countries that you've gone to. And sometimes it's our country. Katrina, you went there. We saw you in the rowboat.

You went to Haiti. You went to Cuba. You went to Venezuela. Iran, Iraq. What's wrong with you? Why do you always run toward the danger? It's an adrenaline? thing, Sean? I think we can't count on Bill Maher alone

to tell us the truth, and I got nowhere else to go, so when I, you know, when I need a break from you, I go and find out there, because you're not going to get it in New York Times. And I'm not coming with you. You know me. I'm not... No, I don't have that kind of courage. I mean, you have physical courage. It's just a sort of... I have verbal courage. Well, I think it's also, I have a certain inability to focus unless I have a kind of cultural reference with my own experience there.

And once I can read the book about it once I've been there and seen it. I have a tough time doing it in reverse. Okay, so this book, we are talking about you're going to be doing a reading at Lackma? Is that right? What is that? The Los Angeles County Museum of Modern Art. August? No, I mean, October 6th.

Gosh, it's October tomorrow. Please, I can only take one more fucking month of this election. Sean, thank you for being here. I love you for doing what you did the other night. All right, he's Snapchat's Head of News, where he hosts Good Luck America. What a perfect title for this show.

Peter Hamby. Hi, Peter. How you doing? Hey, Bill, for it. Good. She is the CNN political commentator and CEO of Impact Strategies. Angela Rye is back with us, and he's one of our longtime friends here on this panel. He's a Trump Economic Advisor and co-author of Fueling Freedom,

Exposing the Mad War on Energy. energy. Steve Moore, back with us, Steve. Okay. There is no overtime tonight because I am actually on stage at the Mirage in Vegas. How's that going to happen tonight at 10 o'clock? Are you going on the Trump jet? Not the Trump jet. All right. So I mentioned I'm glad there's only a month left. I'm about to lose it. Seriously, I just have one question for you, Steve, because I know you're a Trump supporter. Have you lost your goddamn mind. Tell me,

he's brave enough to be here in the lines then, but seriously, what did you think when you saw today, what time you get up in the morning, early? I was in Denver, so I didn't see the tweet when it happened. But you saw that what Trump was doing between 320 and 5.30, when people should be

sleeping. Even I'm sleeping at that hour. And he is just saying, check out this sex tape. You really think This person should be the president of the United States? I'm frustrated. What gets you pause? I am frustrated because we have such huge problems in this country right now.

And look, you look at the debate on Monday. I mean, Trump, look, Trump got off track in a lot of things. But I think everybody would agree. When it came to the economy, he killed Hillary, right? I mean, Hillary's trying to defend it. We want to cut taxes. She wants to raise them. Zero people would agree with that.

We've had 10 years. No. I can't wait to respond to it. This week, we had a. Not even rich people agree with it. No, no, it's true. Do you know who does? Working class people.

Trump is not the candidate of the rich. He is the candidate of the working class. That's where he's getting the program. We had a statistic. And his money. No, no. Wait a second. Trump is killing it with small donors.

Let's get the facts on the table. And Hillary's doing. Killing it. He should have been... Better than any Republican ever did. Better than Hillary is doing. He should have been raising money online a year ago because he would be rolling in dough.

Now, what's really interesting, I'd be interested in your opinion on this. He is almost to the left of Bernie. Sanders on trade or the way he talks about it. He's completely redefined Republican economic dogma. It's remarkable. And it's had a deep appeal, especially in places like Ohio,

where he's cutting into Hillary's lead in counties, especially in Northeast Ohio, that Barack Obama won by 30 points. But Donald Trump of the 90s, though, was like applauding Bill Clinton and what he was doing with the economy because he said in the 90s that he was being very successful. So he might be

the candidate for the working class, but that's because they're deceived. So as soon as they find out... How are they deceived? They've seen the worst recovery from a recession. I can tell you, I'm not happy to tell you. Americans are hurting about there. We have one point, no, and if not.

No, wait a minute. One percent is like being in a recession. Okay, wait a second. Only the top 20 percent have made gains in the last century. No, no, I must fucking stop you. I told you. This is Bill Maher Academy. I'm not a loser.

This is a real. This is a lot. Because, again, I hear this all the time. From Trump at the debate, from other Republicans, I heard this fucking moron, Larry Kudlow. He's one of my best friends. I'm sure he is. Really, everyone is a fucking idiot tonight.

I know I say that too much, but it's true. So you're going to defend this economy? Wait a minute. Yes, because it's... This economy stinks. Go out in real America. It doesn't stick. Go out in real America.

Go to Pennsylvania, Ohio, Michigan and talk to voters. Because they're pissed off about this economy. You can talk to voters who are misinformed. They know their financial situation. Let me read the facts from the Census Bureau. All right. Okay. Right.

I read the report, this was very big news a couple of weeks ago. It destroyed a lot of talking points that Republicans have had for years, like all the wealth is going to the top percent. the top percent, the middle class is stuck. In 2015, middle class incomes had their fastest increase ever recorded. The median family got a $3,000 raise. The highest income growth was among the poorest 10%. Poverty had its steepest decline since 1968. In 2015, both the poor and the middle class made greater gains percentage-wise than the rich. Larry Kudlow said, folks are not happy. They want to change. The one thing that has been tried, we had the Obama stimulus package, we had all the infrastructure spending. It didn't work. It did work.

We have 40 million people in poverty today. We had, the average American bill, you talked about So he didn't make things perfect. I know. Forty million people in poverty is not making things. But your candidate, but your candidate, excuse me. And the average American worker over the last 10 years since 2007 has not had a pay raise. And your candidate doesn't want to do that. to raise their wages either. Yes, he does. We want to get control of the border.

We want to cut taxes. Hillary wants the raise taxes. Hillary wants the raise taxes. Hillary wants to raise taxes. Hillary wants the raise taxes. So I know you're really excited, but let me be really clear. This is not, he's okay. This is not the Monday night debate.

And I'm not Hillary Clinton. So I'm just being very clear with you, I have something to say, and I need you to let me talk. Go ahead. Go ahead. So, let me be simple. When your candidate was asking, asked whether or not he wanted to raise the minimum wage.

He initially said no, now he wants a slight increase. If you want to talk about wage, so you're still not going to let me finish. We want to raise the minimum wage. We want to raise the median wage. We want to raise wages for middle class. This is going to be a great conversation. Multiple independent analysts. Steve, let her get her, go ahead. It's fine.

Peter, go ahead. No, no, no, no, no. Finish your thought and then. The only point that I'm raising here is your candidate has deceived his voter base. He has been, really? Oh. Steve. Let her finish.

He watched Donald Trump on Monday, and this is what he did. He interrupted Hillary 29 times. I think you've interrupted me 53. So my point is very simple. He's deceived his base because they're angry. They need someone to blame. Unfortunately, this guy who's been sued, 82 times alone, just in federal court,

has been sued because he's taken advantage of the very people who he says he's setting out to help. Small business owners, who he said didn't do their jobs. Who said, didn't do their jobs. That's what he said at the debate that they didn't do their jobs. After he allowed the services and the goods to be provided,

they didn't do their jobs. He knows that they were going to sue him and would run out of money. He takes advantage of the people who are in his base name. Let's go to you. What fascinates me is that the Republican establishment, Wall Street Journal readers,

the green-eye shade class of the Republican Party in Washington, which has always been obsessed with managing the debt and policy, you know, independent analysts have said that Trump's tax cuts would drive up the debt significantly higher than Hillary's planet. Republican senators. You're going to lecture me on the debt when Barack Obama doubled the debt in eight years. Come on.

$5.3 trillion. That's what your candidate's planning. People protest when Barack Obama raised the debt by more money than every president from George Washington from George Washington. I'm confused by Republicans. He is the king of that. Much of that, of course,

because he inherited the worst recession. What of that's the former republic? Let me ask you this. Why? How come... He should be the hero of big business. The top 100, Fortune 500 companies,

none of them will endorse him. Why aren't these leaders backing him? He's giving them a giant tax cut. You know why? Because they know he's going to crash the economy. Because in the billionaire boys club, they know he's a crook. He doesn't pay his bills. He's going to default on the debt.

If he was elected in November, the economy would crash before he took office. We saw large companies who were associated with Trump's brands and pageants run screaming from him during the primaries, one. Two, the business community, the Chamber of Commerce class, they value stability. And Trump is deeply unpredictable. Well, exactly. Hillary wants to invest in infrastructure. Look, you can question her raising the tax plans with business, raising taxes on corporate. We spent $800 billion on infrastructure and we still got the worst infrastructure.

What happened to all that money? Immigration reform, spending money on roads and bridges. All I'm answering Bill's question, which is that the Chamber of Commerce community, the centrist business class values those things. And by the way, I know what happened to that money because I live, on a street where it was fixed. Okay, so yes. I had pothold.

We have potholes all over the place. Of course there are still potholes and there are still people in poverty. We miss spent all that money. Here's the point I would make to you. Of course, big business is for Hillary Clinton. Big businesses for Hillary, big laborers for Hillary. All of the special interest groups in Washington are for Hillary Clinton. Of course they are because Donald Trump is going to disrupt Washington.

What's funny is, even Macy's doesn't even want anything to do with the Trump tie. Like, that's the funny part. So the reality of your. The reality of this is your candidate doesn't have any goodwill left with Fortune 1,000 companies. Well, let me ask you this question. How many jobs has Hillary Clinton ever created? She was not in a position. That's my point.

She knows nothing about business. No, that's not your point is crazy because she was in public service. Right. She's been in politics. No, you're right. You are right. She has been in public. She is a professional politician.

Steve. No, she's been in public service. She's been a professional politician for the last 20 years. It's Ronald Reagan. Public service. She has been a professional politician. Donald Trump is a businessman. We need a businessman in the White House.

With six bankruptcies to show for it, by the way. He's made billions. He's under 10,000 people, Hillary's doing. By the way, how did Hillary get rich? How did Hillary and Bill Clinton get rich? Off of politics. Okay. No, Donald Trump got rich by creating businesses.

Hillary and Bill Clinton got rich off of politics. And he also got rich by stealing from small businesses. I made that break early. You didn't hear it because you were talking. He also steals from his own charity. Then there's that. Wait a minute. What about the Clinton Foundation?

Come on. Oh, my God. You're going to say that Donald Trump is stealing from his? Yes, that's a fact. He hasn't been able to dochevro. This is the stupidest talking point that the media falls for, that there's something shady about the Clinton Foundation. What happened all the money that was supposed to go to Haiti?

88% of what they take in most of the people. have chured millions of people around the world. There was no pay for play because she was never paid. It's a moronic. You know what else, Bill, before this election, you know who else supported the Clinton Foundation?

Donald Trump, he gave $100,000 dollars to the same dollar. What wasn't it just a lot before now? It's probably the last money he gave in charge. I'm sure he wants his money back. He always wants his money back. He just... He has not given a dime

to his own Trump Foundation since 2008. Since 2008, and then he gives money, people give the money to the Trump Foundation. He writes a check. People think, oh, it's from Donald Trump. It's not from him. And he's taking their money to buy shit for himself.

The reason why people won't do business with him, same reason why they don't want to do business in Russia. It's shady. You don't know what's going to happen. Let's move on. Let's move on. Would you like... No, I mean, here's a woman who gives speeches and go clean and then they have given access to the way.

She is truly the Napoleon of Crime. But it's interesting that five that I count so far, very conservative newspapers who have not supported, endorsed a Democrat for a long time. The Arizona Republic since 1896, Cincinnati Inquirer, 1916, Dallas Morning News, 1940, the Houston Chronicle, the San Diego Union Tribute, never support the Democrat.

They are doing it. Magazine, USA Today. has never endorsed. They still don't, but they said, don't vote for this one. Right. And then magazines, Rolling Stone, the advocate, wired, have come out for Hillary.

Rolling Stone, who would have ever thought that? Okay. But just show that the equal time, there are some lesser-known magazines that have come out for Donald Trump. Would you like to see... These are some lesser-known. Lesser-known.

For example, for Donald Trump, Karin-Leyer. They say, Mr. Trump, Trump owns lots of cars and he lies his ass off. What's not to lie? Unpopular science is for Donald Trump. They raved, you can make up practically anything about climate change, and this shithead will retweet it.

Absolutely. Trump is the obvious choice. Wine aficionado. They say, you don't see this many bitches at the dog show. American sociopath. Their endorsement reads, While we can't sense or process normal human emotion, something about this Trump family just feels right.

Good Housekeeper, magazine. We hardly endorse Senor Trump, because if we don't, he'll have us deported. Oh, no. Thanks. Modern Mail Order Bride, magazine. They say, we've done business with this man and the check clears. This magazine translates as highlights for child laborers.

And they say, we support the orange American whose name we sew on the necktides. And finally, ferret fancy magazine says, What's in his head doesn't make him one of us, but what's on his head most certainly does. All right. Let's bring out Sarah. She is a brilliant actress, a wonderful comedian. She'll be appearing at the Sanger Theater in New Orleans on October 16th

and at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas, October 21st. Sarah Silverman. How are you? Great. Look at you. Playing Vegas, the MGM Grand. I am so proud of you. I'm not taking a jet there tonight.

Yeah, but I'm very proud of you. Come on. We worked hard and we played by the rules. You taught me how to exfoliate with a dry brush before my shower. You did. I mean, it was like we're on the... It was you bullied me in tour. We're on a basketball court and you're like, you don't exfoliate with a dry brush before you shower.

And I was like, oh, I didn't even know that's what we're supposed to do. This is the hunk you plan to come out here with? No, I don't know. Exploiting with the dry... Not at all. I don't know. It's just... I saw you and I remembered it because I think of you every time I do it. Let's talk politics.

Steve, I'm so glad you're here. You're very brave. That's right. Isn't he brave? Yeah. You're for Trump, right? All right. The sound of one hand. Trump is the product of a long tradition of pointing at other people and accusing them of doing what you're doing.

And that's, you know, he... Yeah. You're a punitive now. You know that? Ever since you... Fuck you! Oh, what's a pundit? No, it's a good thing.

Ever since you were at the Democratic convention and you pointed at the Bernie people and said, you're being ridiculous, and I thought it was wonderful. That was just in the moment. They literally told us to stretch. But is that... Do you wear the crown heavily now

that you've been anointed as someone who's going to lead us in our political thinking? Yeah, of course. Yeah, no, I don't know. I mean, there's no one more Bernie than me. I am so inspired every day by Bernie Sanders. The good news is, you know, people who change the world are almost never the president, you know.

So we don't have them for four years. We have them forever. Is that so bad to settle for? Well, actually, the president, no, no, no. The president is someone who changes the world. Yes, but... Let's just get that out on the table. The people that we remember throughout history that have changed our world are almost never the president.

That's completely not true. And the very reason we're so afraid of Trump is because that it is true that the president... Oh, I see your line of thinking. But I'm thinking, Gandhi, Martin Luther King, you know, some of those people changed the world. But Martin Luther King didn't send troops into the South to make sure that the black people could go to college. Are you sure? President Kennedy did that. because of pressure from outside people.

And Bernie needs an ally in office. That's right. That's why I don't understand these Bernie are bust people. I don't know what their long game is. I don't know what their perfect dream scenario is. I earnestly am asking, or am I being obtuse? No, you are not. But it seems that it would be good to have an ally in office.

And you're the perfect one to talk to them. Because what are you, 28, 29 now? You're almost. I'm... I fucking have to be. I hate that that's a big funny joke. You're a millennial, and one with stamina. Now, let me read the polls here on Clinton, 18 to 34 people.

Clinton, 31%. Uh-huh. Trump, 26. Gary Johnson, 29%. Gary Johnson. Gary Johnson. Gary Johnson. Listen.

Is a fucking... idiot. I like he's a fucking idiot. I like him. He's a nice guy, but he's another in my basket of fucking idiots. Listen, I voted and I believe you did in 2000

for Ralph Nader. But this is not that kind of time. Right. No, he wasn't an idiot, but he also wasn't going to win. And it was a mistake. We wanted to vote our conscience. And I admitted it, yes. It was a mistake. Okay. But Gary Johnson, can I show you a little, we put a little montage of Gary Johnson together.

Just to remind. And we thought he was a cool guy. You know, he smokes pot. He was for pot. He's not making pot look good. Pot doesn't make you cool. Right. Pot is cool.

Pot is cool. But it doesn't make you cool. But you know what? It's also cool. Reading. Here's a little bit of Gary Johnson for those thinking of voting for him. Aleppo.

And what is Aleppo? Aleppo. Not knowing that there's a city in between the two forces. Who's your favorite foreign leader? Who's my favorite? Anybody. Pick any leader.

I'm having a brain. Well, name anybody. I think I could sign up there for the whole today. So weird. Really? And by the way, for the people, 29% 18 to 34, who I assume a lot of them were Bernie people, right?

Okay, here's some minimum wage. Hillary's with Bernie Not Gary Johnson Believes in no minimum wage TPP He's for that Hillary and Bernie are against it Citizens United

All the money you want in politics Gun control Wants none of that Financial Regulation Universal Health Care He's for repealing Obamacare Free College he's against that He's for nothing that you fucking people want

It's not even like No one's even misinforming them about him Like they are like with your friend, you know, it's like people... Yeah, no, that's true. What you were saying was exactly right. People vote because they're totally misinformed, and that is a real thing. You know, there's something called Brexit that people voted for totally against their best.

You were against Brexit? Are you serious? It's great. Self-government. I mean, why were you in Brexit? What are you talking about? They promised they had huge signs on the sides of buses. that said, you know, $325 million go to the EU,

that could be going to our health care. They had no intention and said they had no intention when Brexit was voted through. Then people are Googling what Brexit is after they voted in. Gary Johnson. Hey, pun, I'm... Wow, I'm really passionate.

Oh, don't show my neck. My neck goes crazy when I have passion. You know what... You know what would help that a lot? Exfoliating. I know I think of you every day. every day. It's my...

Gary Johnson is clearly unfit to be president, but what exasperates me about Gary Johnson not knowing these things and the collective exasperation about it is that neither does Donald Trump.

And the problem is that a year ago, people should be giving Donald Trump pop quizzes. Name me five countries in NATO. What's the difference between Hamas and Hezbollah? How does a bill become a law?

Does Donald Trump know those things? I don't think he does. He doesn't know them. He's unserious. It's so much. Because people are sick of the way the professional politics is the story. Oh, you mean by knowing things? They're sick of all people.

We should get a dummy. He's been doing business. He doesn't know all of these. People mean against people who do book learning. Yes. It's not. You want somebody who knows how to create jobs. You're just saying.

You don't have enough jobs. Once again, fact, unemployment is 4.9%. Bill, you know it's not. When you count the people, when you count the people who've dropped it. who dropped out of the workforce. When you count people who have private jobs because of Obamacare, the real unemployment rate

at this country is 10% and 12%. When the Democrat is president, when a Democrat is president, we don't count the stats from the We have had a record number of people drop out of the workforce. Steve. But you know what else? But here's the bigger problem.

To argue that point. Here's a bigger problem. His candidate also counts students who are in high school and who are in college and you count them. And then you say black people's unemployment is that 51% lies. We are also in school. So that's the other problem. Well, the black Americans have had the biggest decline of income under Barack Obama of any group.

I'm not even answering them anymore. You think black Americans are doing well today? Hello, I think they're doing... Black America is doing well and what I'm not going to allow you all to continue to do is to make it seem like I walk out my door, there's gunfire immediately. I'm not going to let you say, I walk out the door and I can't read, your candidate can't read, I walk out the door and I can't afford, like, you're just not going to do it. Like, we do have challenges in our community. Well, what are the Democrats done for your community? You've got no jobs.

You've got no economic development. You've got terrible speech. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. That's fantastic. I'm going to respond to you now.

It's such a shitty country thing to say. It's ridiculous. So what I'm going to tell you is very clearly, and I say this all the time, and hopefully this will bless your life and change it. Racism Is a bipartisan problem This isn't about what Democrats did or did not do Republicans have done the same I'm from Chicago

Congratulations Democrats have run Chicago for 60 years You've got 3,000 shootings And you can't blame that on Republicans And where did the guns come from And it's so funny You're the ones you don't want to stop You're the ones

It was Hillary Clinton who doesn't want the stop and frisk policy No I agree Because it's unconstitutional. It's on constitutional. It's on constitutional. It's on constitutional. It's not unconstitutional. I can't debate with somebody who are saying.

The Supreme Court. The Supreme Court. I didn't want this show to turn into ones where everyone's screaming and you can't hear what anybody says. My fault, my fault, I started screaming. What are we talking about? Now no one's talking. Stop at Chris.

Just about this. Okay, but let's go to the point of false equivalency. Because I think this is... Very relevant to what you're talking about. And I have one more fucking idiot I want to get to. I tweeted he's a fucking idiot, and he is. Colin Kaepernack. I'm for...

Thank you. High five on that one. Yeah, but not for the same... Yeah, he is. He is. He's a fucking idiot. I'm for his protest. I'm for taking the knee. But here's what he says on race.

You have Hillary, who was called black teens or black kids super predators, and you have Donald Trump who's openly racist. This is the false equivalency. He says, both are proven liars, and it almost seems like they're trying to debate who's less racist. Okay, they're not both proven liars.

Politico has, PolitiFact, has looked at this, okay? She lies less than most politicians. He lies more than anyone they've ever seen. 70%, that's right. And they're not... And they're not both racists. Yeah.

Donald Trump is a racist. Hillary Clinton works her whole life for the opposite. Okay. What? She's been a public servant for almost three decades. He has not served anyone other than himself. You're sick of professional politicians. Don't you get that?

They've screwed up this country. But it's not screwed up. Professional politicians have created a situation where we've got crime on the street where we have no good jobs in this country. Crime is down. Right. Oh, yeah. Go to Chicago and tell people that.

Go to Chicago. You pick the one place. It's happened. And it's all gang warfare. It's not... The murder rate was up 10% last year. It's not going to affect you... Unless you're trying to horn in and summon's territory, Steve.

Well, I'm not going to go to the inner cities because that's where the crime is. He cares about people. What has he done? I think he gave money to one of his sons... He's created one of the greatest businesses in America. People who work for him are voting for her. I've tried. He's not going to let you finish.

Isn't being present... I mean, the president should create jobs. There should be economic growth. But being present's about more. than just creating shots. It's also securing a border. It's having a song for a country. The border is safer than it was.

We need to fight down. It's not like a crime written police. Another myth that the borders are out of control. His whole campaign hangs on this myth, that things are so desperate in this country, which they are not, that we need this giant asshole to come in like the Magnificent Seven

and save the town. But we're not desperate. You should get out of Los Angeles. get out of Los Angeles every weekend. Go to places like North Pennsylvania. Go to places. There's a mythology. Go to Ohio.

Go to Pennsylvania. There's a mythology. People are really hurting in this country. There are people hurting in the Rust Belt. There is a sense of economic stagnation. However, it is a mythology that in the Midwest outside of New York and L.A. that everything is just a wasteland. Ohio has a humming modern economy with with,

with investments in solar and technology. Solar. They got it from the shale-ho-Hill gas revolution, not that. Tell that's a Governor Kasich. You would think by listening to Trump and all these Republicans that America is a place where there is always a close knife at your throat and a brown dig at your lips. Why are voters so angry?

I don't know. I'm talking to these voters, they're angry though. So I'm not sure. Because they're misinformed. Not only are they misinformed. They're stupid. They're racist. They're xenophobes.

I mean, these are the people... Yes, half of them are in the basket of the plurables. Much more than that. But yes. That's a good winning message for the Democrats. People are stupid. Well, they're not saying. Well, I'm saying it.

I'm saying that you have at least half of your supporters that are in the basket of deplorables. I could search the tweet. So I really would like... I don't need you to be my A-Man corner. I need you to let me finish my thought. I really really, really need you to do that. I really, really need you to do that.

My point is, not only are they misinformed. There are voters who are angry in many instances with human beings are angry, right? You need somebody to blame. Then there's that. But I think at the end of the day, you have a situation where people need someone to blame. There are folks in your camp

who have chosen to blame Barack Obama because he's not a U.S. citizen. There are folks in your camp who have chosen to blame black people because we're takers, Paul Ryan. Yeah, he apologized for it, but there are supporters who still believe that. That is the problem.

All right. We've got to move to new rules, everybody. New Rule, my Facebook friends have to stop posting this picture of Michelle Obama. I like that picture. Hugging George Bush like a lion made friends with a pony. She's not hugging him because she likes him. She smelt gin on his breath again, and she's stopping him from dancing. Okay.

This one addresses the point we were just discussing about people. New Rule, if you're this dumb. I went to hear an explanation from President Obama, and we never got one from him, did we? What does he have to explain? Where he was born, just show his birth certificate. I have mine at home on my safety pocket box. He did show it.

No. Then you can't have a dog. Because it's smarter than you, and that's not how this whole master pet thing is supposed to work. Or maybe I'm confused, dog rescued you from a box behind the 7-11. New Rule, the 21-year-old Australian man, who was just bitten by a poisonous spider on his penis for the second time this year, must be told that there are easier ways to get people to suck it.

Yes. Oh, I'm sorry. I wasn't not supportive. It was good. New Rule, President Obama must admit that this, This look doesn't say I have deep respect for Native American culture and traditions. It says, yes, Republicans, now I am just fucking with you.

New Rule, Parisians must stop thinking they're so enlightened now that Paris has approved a clothing free zone within its city limits. Here in America, hundreds of cities already have clothing free zones. They're called Walmarts. And finally, new rule, and this one's for Trump voters. If you think you hate the establishment now,

Wait until he wins, and the Trump surrogates, that basket of inexplicables, he sends out every day to speak for him, become the establishment. Wait until Steve Cortez and Katrina Pearson and Chris Christie and Amarosa are trundling down the corridors of power bumping into the walls.

We're thinking of giving these people the reins of power. I wouldn't put them on the bus without asking the driver to make sure they don't miss their stop. So, in examining all of Donald Trump's surrogates, it's very helpful to remember that Trump actually once said this. Always be around unsuccessful people because everybody will respect you. Do you understand that? Well, it does explain Rudy Giuliani.

Rudy Giuliani, who claims America never had a problem with terror attacks until Obama came along. Really? You can't even think of one? I'll give you a hint, Rudy. You make your living off of it. Donald Trump also once said, sometimes people will come into my office and they'll look great, sound great,

dressed beautifully. Everything is great. Then after you hire them, they turn out to be morons. Which explains his sons, Uday and Kuse. I mean, Trump's senior in the White House is bad enough without these two American psychos putting plastic over the furniture so they can axe murder prostitutes

while discussing Phil Collins. And how about it? the non-professionals. Have you seen Pastor Mark Burns? He's the pastor who gave the benediction at the Republican convention. And I'm not saying he's a total charlatan. It's possible that the free vial of holy oil available from his website can cure the sick. And if not, you can always use it as righteous lube. But he does seem to have lied about everything. Again, the bio that's on your website claims that you, you, you, you, earned a bachelor science degree.

Did you make that claim? I asked you just a moment ago, as we were just opened up this. First of all, I said that we were off the record. I didn't agree to that. Yeah, but I did. I did. Did you catch that? The interviewer says, I didn't agree this was off the record, and he says, yeah, but I did.

What do you think for him? Secretary of State, maybe, a head of NASA, perhaps. Another familiar face on CNN for the Trump campaign is Margo Gutierrez, a leader of Trump's Hispanic Advisory Council, and quite a spokesman for his peeps he is. He once said, My culture is very dominant culture, and it's causing problems.

If you don't do something about it, you're going to have a taco truck on every corner. Okay, first of all, would that be such a bad thing? No. You mean, when I'm a good thing, you're a bad thing? You mean, when I'm drunk, I don't have to wander around L.A. looking for a taco truck.

That's the best argument for Hillary I've heard yet. But beyond that, Mr. Gutierrez is a real estate scam artist who's filed for bankruptcy 14 times. He's not just a Latino for Trump. He's a Latino Trump. Then there's a little Kaylee McAnney, a kind of Anne Coulter without the empathy. And another young woman,

defending Trump, campaign spokesman someone's crazy ex-girlfriend. I'm sorry, I mean Katrina Pearson, who wears a necklace made out of bullets from the Chanel Don't Tread on Me collection and once defended it by tweeting, maybe I'll wear a fetus next time. About Trump's proposed Muslim ban, she said.

You know what? So what? They're Muslim. And in 2012, she tweeted, perfect. Obama's dad, born in Africa, Mitt Romney's dad, born in Mexico. Any pure breeds left? Sick. Pure breeds? Where do you study your talking points

by the light from a burning cross? She also blames Obama for launching the war in Afghanistan, even though it was four years before he was even in the Senate, and has said about nuclear weapons, what good is having them if you're not going to use them? If this were the $100,000 pure, I'd say things a mental patient says. So what do you think, Ambassador of the UN for her?

But I'd have to say that, of all the surrogates, my favorite has to be Mr. Michael Cohen. Just take a look at him in action on CNN. But you guys are down, and it makes sense that there would... Says who? ...wholes. Most of them. All of them? Says who?

Holes. I just told you, I answered your question. Okay. Which polls? All of them. Well played, sir. And he's a lawyer. In fact, he's the head lawyer at the Trump Organization. So we know he's awfully busy with lawsuits,

like the one Trump filed against me in 2013. Remember that lawsuit? Okay. A lot of people remember it as a defamation. It wasn't. He was suing me to collect $5 million because I offered that to him if he could prove that his mother didn't, in fact, fuck an ape. So he went into court.

This happened. He went into court and produced his birth certificate as if it was going to say orangutan on it. Yes, I made Donald Trump produce his birth certificate, and I'm very proud of that. Very proud of that. All right, that's our show. be at the Mirage tonight somehow

and tomorrow night that at Foxwoods in Connecticut October 22nd at the Palace and Albany, November 6th. I want to thank Peter Hamby, Angela Rye, Steve Moore, Sarah Sutherman and Sean Penn. Thank you, folks. Catch all new episodes of Real Time

with Bill Maher every Friday night at 10 or watch them anytime on HBO on demand. For more information, log on to HBO.com.