Real Time with Bill Maher - Overtime – Episode #383 (Originally aired 04/08/16)

Episode Date: April 9, 2016

Overtime – Episode #383 (Originally aired 04/08/16) - Bill and his roundtable guests Thomas Perez, Kathy Griffen, Max Brooks, Andy Dean and Heather McGhee answer fan questions from the latest show. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO late-night series, Real Time with Bill Maugh. Okay, here we are on YouTube. You made it, baby. Andy, should Donald Trump run as a third-party candidate if he doesn't get the Republican nomination? Okay, good question.

He actually can. You have to start getting on the ballot starting March in states like Texas, so he can't do that, and then right in Canada. There are seven or eight states that don't even allow for that. So if he doesn't win the nomination, it's no, there's no... That's right. Okay. And if he doesn't win the nomination, what do you think's going to happen? I mean, where are his supporters going to... I mean, historically, I mean, this is...

They're going to be angry. Oh, yeah. I mean, in 1824, Andrew Jackson was... You have to tell me about 1824. The election was stolen. Look, it's happened historically. We don't, you know, it's not a good thing. But I don't think we're going to be rioting. I mean, that's not good. No, I think it's great how you guys keep saying, we hope there's no rioting. Right. You know, at our rallies, we always say, and the media never reports us, but we always say, you know, no violence.

No violence. No violence. And by the way. There's got a few Ziggiles. It's on tape. No. Great. Yes.

There's also, there's a video of a black police officer. Great. Thank you. She was on. Right. Who went to, he said, you know, I just wanted to see what was going on. I went to a Trump rally. The people who were making trouble with the outside agitators.

Right. As the Southern Sherry. They were trying to provoke. Yeah. And then that could very well. be true. Okay. But the sucker punch guy, come on, you've got to come down on him. That was a sucker punch. We don't like

violence. Okay, great. Are the revelations of the Panama papers, by the way, I don't use Panama Papers. Are you in him? I'm so nervous you're in this. I don't know where you store your money, so I don't know if you're in them. No. Likely to, no American so far, likely to hear any changes in American policy. Boy, Bernie nailed that one. Did you see the

tape of him five years ago? I mean, I don't know if it's going to change. People, you know, in Panama, there's like 12 other countries that do that. I mean, rich people are always going to find a way. Are they really revelations? Is it really a revelation that billionaires are hiding money in tiny countries? Is this new? Well, the President-Fizans step down, though, right?

Yes, he did. Yeah, the Argentinian guys being looked into. There's heads of state being looked into. And I think it gives our politicians a little bit more backbone to do things like, you know, stop the inversions that just happened. That's a big victory for the Obama administration. this week that you're not going to have just yet another company

say, oh, I'm suddenly not American anymore, but, you know, I'm a completely American company for every reason other than tax purposes. I mean, we've got dozens of companies in this country that spend more on lobbying than they do on taxes. Absolutely. Oh, yeah. Oh, it is crazy. When giant corporations

pay no taxes. Yeah. A hundred billion dollars, a hundred billion dollars they think are being hidden away just from America. Right. Imagine the job training we could do with $100 billion. And by the way, for those who say, and the argument is always, well, we're going to let the corporations bring the money back and we'll tax it at a one-time rate.

And it's always like a sweetheart rate like 4%. This was done. Bush did it. And the promise was, well, when that money comes back, of course, they're going to create jobs with it. They did nothing of the story. No, they held on to it. They bought hookers and VO and jobs.

They also held it for the sense. Create one frigging job. Andy, is Trump's plan to get Mexico to pay for the wall? Oh, yes, that came out this week. Is that viable? Now, how would you describe that plan? You could do it better than I could. Right.

So the idea would be... I could get to laugh before you're just saying. No. He's not laughing. No, no, no. Look, so the way that you can do it is with the trade and balance. He's a happy warrior. Thank you.

Republicans are happy warriors. We're optimistic people. Absolutely. That is true. We believe the best. Okay. So Trump's going to have Mexico pay for this wall. I'm feathering my nose.

Thank you. Are you so? You're going to be a ambassador? No, I just don't want to be sent off to Guantanamo Bay. We won't audit you. I mean, Jesus Christ, I don't. Trump will fucking disappear me. I mean, this guy wouldn't think twice.

He sued me, you know. I know. You know, he sued me. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. What did you think of that lawsuit, Andy? Oh, I remember that. Yeah.

Talked about that. I mean, come on. That was pretty dumb. Yeah, it was like whether or not he was an orangutan. Exactly. Yeah. I mean, I said, I said, as a joke, I offered him five million if he could prove

his father wasn't an orangutan and he went into and he went into court with his birth certificate as if it was going to say orangutan He said I want my money You've got to admit he's a little thin skin But he got no money But it's important that that first amendment

president which was set by your friend Larry Flint That Supreme Court case It is important under the umbrella That's true It was Jerry Fall while making the joke about his Bain his mother in an outhouse All right so you have to be able to make these jokes He's got to take him

He shouldn't be still litigious He's like a Scientologist Like I'm wheeling everything. So anyway, what about the plan? The plan to, now he's going to stop the remittances back to Mexico? You could tax the remittances or, I mean, there are all sorts of things when money moves from one country to another that you could do. You could do a foreign trade deal with Mexico where there's a percentage of goods coming in until the walls pay for. But don't you think that if we screw with their economy, it'll make more people come over because their economy is bad?

I mean, I know, I know. Why are we? pretending? Why are we still pretending that Donald Trump wants to be president? All right? This is a publicity stunt that went away. I'm telling you, three in the morning, when the Ambien wears off, he's going to go to Andy's room. He's going to say Andy's going to be like George Costanzi. You've got to get me out of this. You've got to help me, Andy. Please. I don't think I win. I'm doing everything to get out of it. I've offended everybody. The process is too painful for him not to be serious about it. And by the way, I was the one guy

who always said he was serious about it. Oh, yeah. He's very serious. I've never been for him, but I always said, this is not a publicity, son. This guy has an ego as big as all outdoors. Yeah, like he would hate it when he walked in the room and they play Hailed with the Chief. Love it. Love it. Exactly.

But let me just say we're very, we're very lucky to be bordered by two countries that actually like us and are our friends. So when he talks very cavalierly about alienating Mexico and Canada, we're very Right. Both of our neighbors like us and we like them.

Let's have fuck that up, Andy. Right. Hey, Andy. All right. Remember 1824? Yes. Oh. 1824.

We were just talking about. 1824, the only time an election was stolen. 1824. He didn't say the only time. 1960. Right. Well. No other time.

Joe Kennedy. Joe Kennedy. Pay for some votes. Oh, also didn't, what about the 1870s? About 2000. Let's re-try, try Bush v. I'll do it right now. I'm ready.

Get name it, boy. All right. I can name every president in order. And not because I memorized it because I know the history. Cool. Last question. Will the Pope meeting with Bernie?

Yeah, Bernie Sanders are going to meet with the Pope. I noticed none of the other candidates got an invitation from Frank. Okay. Will the Pope... Will the Pope meeting with Bernie Sanders influence the outcome of our election in any way? No.

I don't know, but it's kind of cool. I mean, you know, I think it's kind of cool that the Pope recognized the fellow socialist. Right, exactly. You know. Yeah, they think alike. They think alike. All right.

Thank you, everybody. Thank you. We're going to go. Catch all new episodes of Real Time with Bill Maher every Friday night at 10 or watch them anytime on HBO on demand. For more information, log on to HBO.com.