Red Scare - Burning Bridges w/ Brontez Purnell

Episode Date: December 27, 2023

Brontez Purnell returns to discuss his forthcoming book of poetry Ten Bridges I've Burnt and more.

I'm so glad that we're like finally here in person because remember are we recording? We did. We are now starting to record. We're back. We're back. We have an amazing guest for the second time. Was there a Bron Tez for now? Hey friends, what's up?

And yes, last thing we had a lot of technical issues. So it's nice to have you here with us. Well, I was in my fucking house, and I've just like, I've been needing to put a router in my room for 10 years, and I just keep buying drugs. So I'm like, I'm like, so it's like,

how far away is the router? It's like in the room upstairs, but this is like, how big is the router? It's like in the room upstairs Like but this is like how big is the house? It's a punk house. Well, it's like this like old It's like two stories. It's like a lot of fucking room Yeah, and so like we used to have a bunch of illegal rooms in there back when it was like $12 to live there But then the landlord was just like okay only four people can live here now And how long have you been there? I've been there 10 years But that's starting hanging out at that house in 2006.

When it first started. You're just like me for real. 2006, did you live there when I... Not yet? No, no, no. When you lived there? When I lived, did we, were we ruined? No, oh my God. We you lived there. When I lived, did we, were we room there? No, oh my God.

We met when I was living at, I was living in some warehouse, I think. Well, I mostly lived in warehouses. Yeah. This is the first house I lived in, like in the bay, like because the first 15 years, I only lived in warehouses.

Yeah, because I was in your room on my 18th birthday. Oh, yeah. I'm like, what's the difference between a warehouse and a punk house? Oh, because it's like an actual house. Yeah, totally. Yeah. That's like in room, though.

It like now, that warehouse sold in that room. It was like $400. Yeah. And now I was looking at it. It's like a $1,700 room. And I was like, do you all know how much fucking crack I spent in that room? And y'all are like,

paying that much fucking money for it. It's disgusting. Every time I see that room, I was like, oh, I was so much skinnier. I'm like, what? But what do you think happened at your current house that makes it so you can't leave? Oh, okay. You're like trauma bonded to the space. No that makes it so you can't leave? Oh, okay.

You're like trauma bonded to this space. No, told me. And I can't move out of here because she had her baby. I have my baby here. I've smoked a lot of crack in here I have. I've done a lot of drugs in here before. This was a family home. Because I was also coming here for like, I don't know, almost 10 years before this became my apartment.

Oh, okay. I'm gonna dox myself. It used to be a bunk house. Yeah, it was like an art house. Where like girls and gays were like coming in and out of. And I still to this day meet people who like, I don't know or barely know or like you live at who I used to live there in like that room in the back And I used to have a lot of gay sex in that It's a lot of people that'll be like oh you used to live at so and so warehouse

That's where my speed dealer live I was assaulted there. It was so fun. It was like, damn, sucks. But that may also, too, it's like there was a lot of years where having cheap rent allowed me to like, like, I wrote my books there. I wrote my books, write the books. I still, like, okay, let me be quite honest. Even though I was the girl at the punk house, like, okay, let me be quite honest, like even though I was the girl at the punk house, like, you know, doing heroin and meth till five in the morning, I still made it to college every day, like, I have more degrees

in the thermostats, you know what I'm saying? So, you know, so it represents both my darkest and most productive times. Uh huh. So you, when you go to the doctor and they ask you for your highest level of education, what do you say? I'm like I have an MFA from Berkeley. And the thing is, I do.

Sometimes I'll be sitting in a room to think my wife is so fucked up. Fuck my baby. It's blah blah blah. I'm like, oh, I have an MFA from Berkeley. You got the credential. Oh, yeah. I guess so. Oh, I have an embassy from Berkeley. You got the credential. Oh, yeah. Oh, I think it is. Frances, have you been keeping up

with this crazy Harvard scandal? Claudine Gay. We kind of briefly touched on it on the last one, and I didn't know what the fuck you were talking about, and then I looked her up, and I was like, whoa. We were happy. Like, I think she's like the president of Harvard. Yeah.

She's like a gay black lady called Claudine Gay. President, president gay. And now, and now she's a doctor. Yeah, because apparently she, she got tenure and like kind of failed upward. And she has a lot of degrees and a lot of credentials. But she never actually published anything outside of a few papers with very shoddy data. Apparently, and she helped other shady professors at Harvard falsify their data sets,

and now she has to double down because if she admits that she helped them, get away with it, then her whole house of cards comes tumbling down. It's crazy. And Harvard is saying that she's gonna stay because then they have to double down because they can't admit there

It's well she's in trouble in the first place because they had like a congressional hearing in between all the gay sex They're having a sudden house About like anti-Semitism. Oh right right. Yeah, and she refused to like make a oh, but blanked statement of condemnation against expressing pro-Palestinian sentiment. Oh, man. Okay, first, all academia is literally a fucking scam. Those people, all those professors are there to fucking mine your intellectual fucking whatever. And so it's just like, I hope it blows over for her, but quite honestly, being the president of Harvard

sounds like such a fucking drag. Right, anyway, like, I don't envy her. Her life must be like pain and stress, but all times. Like putting out fire. She should have just worked for Harper's Bizarre. Yeah, she made it real. Yeah, she made it real. She didn't probably have her to drop the git in the movie.

It definitely is. No, sucks. You know. I was just telling Bron Tuzlet, there's no way that I, not that I need to, but I did look to see if I could, there were any job openings at the UN. And I'm like extremely unqualified to work there. Like in any department. What do you need?

A master's degree. You can like work in the mail room. I can't even get an internship in like the Congo. Oh, yeah. I can't. And I'm ready to. I'm like, girl, you're old. I know, that's like, what's wrong with you?

I'm just thinking about it. I'm mentally ill. I'm over quality. But your outfits would be so sick and I know. I know. You wrong with you. I'm just thinking about it. You're mentally ill. Over quality. The truth. The truth. I know. You're like legally blonde.

You're legally blonde. I might just get the lanyard and... For times. Oh my god. My big tech talk. Like how I dress for my date. Pretending to work at the U.M. Oh, and then like the last five seconds

is you being like escorted away by police? What? What? Fuck. So I'm maybe I'll go back to school. Mm-hmm. That means you've- It's an ever too late diplomacy and continuing education.

My- Okay, I have an MFA in conceptual art practice from UC Berkeley. Like I did even write a dissertation. Like, what'd you do? It's like, oh, well, it's like, they give you a studio and you just make things for two years.

And then in your cohort, you like literally spend hours and hours and hours talking about the things you made. And so, um, I say it was really cool. The thing about it is when I went, it was the first time they were letting in like, writers and performers, because it was really cool. The thing about it is when I went, it was the first time they were letting in like writers and performers cause it was all about visual artists. But then I think when I got there,

they didn't really know what to do with it. So they just had us like start making objects. And they were like, you should take pictures and make paintings. And I was like, I mean, we're dealing with concept. Like, it was like, but then I also thought about how I never felt like I had the permission to do that. What do you mean?

Like writing and like performing or whatever is like always just like, you know, when you're like a little faggot or something or you're like, you're a pretty kid, they're like, oh, just go be pretty. Like, you know, we don't want it if we can see you paint. But like there, they were just like, no, we want to be invested in you. Like painting. Well, also the other thing to what they say is like in the art market, the painting performs whether the body that made it is there or not.

And when you're a performer, the artist is always about your body. Always have to be there. And you can't own a dance. You can't own a performance. Or like, you know, rich people can't own that. But the object, it's literally about objectification. I know what that was the whole thing with like post-internet art when people were making like really

a fugly weird art that looked hideous in the gallery but was meant to be photographed and then all the smart ones defected and just started making paintings inspired by the internet. Yeah. Because that's what it's like. Because it's a money laundering scheme. So you need it tied to a tangible thing.

But hold on though, I was under the impression that if you do make like a performance or a dance or something, there is at least some kind of flimsy certificate that a person could hypothetically ball. It's like owning slaves. They just own all the performers. Well, no, it's true. Well, no, I mean, but that's like like I mean, okay, here's the thing I like I'm obsessed with ballet and like being in like the post-dancing

You're not supposed to be obsessed with ballet But that was the thing about ballet like those girls were fucking hookers like you were supposed to dance and the idea was that Some guy was supposed to pay for your like life. It's like France and back in the day Yeah, you know, but that think, I think it was something closer to that for a long time. A patronage system. Yeah, totally. Well, now people talk about how academia has bloated

and inflated, and there's a lot of affirmative action, this and that. But I remember when I was in grad school, it was a bunch of, I went to school for art history, and it was a bunch of girls who were just from wealthy families waiting out their days until some like Wall Street or FinTech I married them. So, it was school, like, before, yeah,

it was like literally just a brothel, like a high-end brothel. I am fucking, okay, like, I have sat there as an artist, often thinking like, what decent man would have me after everything I've been through? Like, I really, well, you called into our love line and asked, like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Because they're really gonna Google you like sucking dick and like even when I was like a waiter in San Francisco in my 20s

My idea was that like oh some rich guy's gonna come and rescue me and it just never fucking Happen and so like no, I wish that there had been some scam like that But like damn like I really had the lean on my art. Yeah, which is mostly about me being dejected Abjectivity. Ding, ding, ding. But that, yeah, but then that has a pay that you're investing in, you know, long term gains. Don't I like literally have a rectile dysfunction? It's fucking over.

I have to fucking like, I have to, yeah, I really have to sell the objects now. Is that good or bad? Oh, correct. It writes all this function? Yeah, like I understand it's broadly bad, but I feel like free from your all-ex addiction. Oh, okay.

Totally. It's like, totally. And like, I like, I remember there was like this older guy who's a part when I cleaned up one time after he had died And it was just like a wave of like fucking via agri pills on the floor And I remember just like There's that one main that's just like my dick has led me to places. I would not go with a gun And I was like I was like oh like this is great

I don't feel that fever dream anymore or that need to wake up and rinse my ass out and fucking three in the morning cause some dudes like, oh, you know, I'm coming over. So yeah, there is consensually, yes, I think erectile dysfunction is very freeing. Are you medicating your... What about it? It's emancipating dysfunction.

But here's the thing though, it's like, I actually can get hard when I'm masturbating. So I'm just like, is it a rectal dysfunction or am I just bored with sex? Yeah. Well, okay. And in your broadcast is in new book, oh, yeah. You got time to be proud. I've burnt. I did retrieve my notes. I have no shame. Okay. I did retrieve my notes. I have no shame. I'm like, okay. There's a part that I really liked where you said what we call wisdom could easily be

called fading hormonal response. Yeah. Which like, so true. I mean, how true is that for like everything from getting comfortable in your skin to like embracing sobriety? Like, I think a lot of the stuff that people talk up to like maturity in life experiences, literally just like your hormones have stabilized so you're no longer as like deranged and horny

and drug addicts who used to be because you're old. Like, it's like, it's like that, they put me on testosterone. And I take just the smallest amount just to like keep, because apparently, for your ED No, just like my body in general like it's like

The idea is if you're hormone levels if your testosterone is too far down it throws all your other shit I know what right and when I like the first couple months. I was on it. I Remember I was like getting that you know when you're like young in your horny and you get that butterfly and you're feeling stomach You know, sorry, you know something has to happen. You even need to go fuck somebody or like do some coke or whatever I was like oh like that what what it was that's a testosterone Right, like you did you got did you experience more rage? Well, they put you on the tea. Oh, I like started having these crazy crying fits Oh, they put you on the tee. No, I like starting having these crazy crying fits.

Oh, interesting. Like a day after the tee, I would be like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm really never gonna be a father. No one's gonna marry me. I'm like, I'm sorry. Have you ever tried a biote. What's up with them? Do you know what that is?

It's like a rice kernel sized little thingy that they poke a hole in your butt cheek and insert it. I had it done after I had the baby because I was like really just out of it and they measured my hormonal levels and they're like your surre or your T levels are depleted. I was just completely deleted. And I got this thing and it made me kind of like for a period of three to six months more like horny and raging. But you could try it. But what did that look like paired with motherhood? It was fine.

I'm ordinarily like so low emotional response to it Just brought me up to like a base on God I wall but you turn gave me a lot of brain. Oh, have you you have tried that? I bet I was on it for a while Everyone like I've never ever taken something like that But I'm like maybe it's like. You know who actually was really singing while you're just praises to me with Seth Bogart? Oh, God, I'm so nervous. He was the first person who was like, it's the guy from Oakley,

who's like the happy, skinny, horny drug that completely changes your life and makes you more productive. And I didn't go on it until years after that, but I always remember Nick. It was like, it like changed his life. Yeah, and I think it's like the thing people take when they don't wanna be on SSRIs, which have like a house.

They don't wanna get fat. Or like get a receding hairline or whatever. Cause it's like an upper, but it's got a lot of other. You're not supposed to drink on it. Oh man, that's like, oh God, being in this band with Seth for you, she was always the put together one. Like I was always the one like missing the tour man like waking up in a

Gutter cut of it and come and shit and she's just like it's time to load this app She is so high function English. She took well-beautre and just a flex Yeah It's probably a game changer. No, it's also I probably won't take well-beautre because do you know what else I I think you can even more have fun today. More functioning. Yeah. It's probably a game changer for all of you. No, it's also, I probably won't take well-buted drink, because do you know what else I've realized about myself?

I kind of like feeling bad. Like it's like it's addictive, right? Yeah. It's like kind of an addiction. It's like it's its own reward response. I think that's where your art probably comes from. Oh god, I know. I actually realized today because I read your book like why I like your writing and it's because you're very like honest and unapologetic about

the times you were bitter or resentful but then you like make fun of yourself about it which like takes the edge off. Because you're not actually a bitter, resentful person. You're like an optimist, as you say. Like, yeah, me just like, it's funny being a fucking human, you know? Like, and I just... You may say retarded. No, yeah. Retarded.

Fucking. Yeah. Just like, and also just... Lately, two, there's this thing on the internet where like, there'll be like some slutty girl and a bunch of dudes will be like, fatherless activities. And it hurts, it hurts because like my father, you know, obviously left,

cause you know, I'm a horrible person. Anyway, but I hope sitting there thinking about how many fucking sluts I knew that came from houses with dads or even my absent dad my dad was absent physically but very present emotionally really made sure I was into music. How many people I know that group and houses with dads that were totally emotionally distant like there are so many ways for the picture to be wrong. How come all the other girls are always getting picked

on but not the fucking the sluts who had the dads is who we should actually Go after it was a rich works and torches You would hear some of your friends talk about their like trauma and resentment over like in therapy over shit that happened to them in their like intact cookie cutter homes whereas You knew a bunch of other people who like came from nothing and like didn't have parents and weren't As up in arms about it Well, there's a barrier to entry

Yeah, I was to even like think to go to therapy. I think you have to be of a certain right disposition Yeah, soconomic, demographic, whatever. No, that's, give me that movie, woman-owner writer, and Brittany Murphy. Girl in Toronto. Girl in a rutin', like, even as you're watching that movie, and I watched it for the first time in 20 years, and I was thinking, these girls are actually

in a crazy social class to even be in the mental institution, because in the actual 60s, if your daughter was a problem, you married that bitch off. You know what I'm saying? You would never think about what's her actual mental state, you know, unless you were the Kennedys and then you just, we'll ball the ice. Oh my God.

Fuck. Oh my God. But okay. But yeah, it is that they are the ones that are like aggrieved about the past to blame their parents, that sort of thing, whereas it doesn't even occur to other people to go there.

I can't, like, okay, there's this one poem where I'm like, if I had a time machine, I'd kill my parents. But here's the thing I'm like, actually, in it I have like a lot of grace for my parents because it's like, there's something where like I also think about how problems are always placed on the individual and my parents parenting style was actually like a whole fucking societal Thing, you know and like sometimes my mom being angry or my mom being like why do I always have to be responsible for you?

And like maybe some people would really hate their mom for that But I was like oh mom, mom grew up in a world where she was duped into thinking if she didn't have a baby by 21, she was worthless as a woman. So it's like, oh, I would hate me too. You know, like, because where is it going to go? Well, then also your parents' parents.

Then you're like, damn. Yes. I think I just, I've never, I just, sometimes I look at it at the predicaments of my life, the root problems and I'm like, there's really no one left to blame. Because not the problem with my way of thinking, I think though, is like, thinking about the structural, if I put all the problems on the structural and not the individual, it renders everything blameless and maybe that's not right either. Yeah, that's also, so you have no choice, but since you can't blame others, such as your parents and grandparents,

and since you can't blame the system because that's a cop out, you have no one to blame for yourself. That's my philosophy of life. Wait, I'm gonna read this passage because it's so good. I try not to judge, but this reads as extravagant to me that the lie of the nuclear family failed them, and I can't relate. My parents never married. And I had the privileged position of being a pagan love child. Pretty true. Yeah. But okay, but circling back to therapy, I don't go because I gaslight my therapist.

And it's like, it's hard. You're two toxic. If you have a theater degree, you're perform for people and I'm always prefer like I'll be sitting up Like performing for this person and I know what to say to make them think that I'm gonna be okay But it's also like what I learned being in like an academic program the pitfall of any failure is All all theory but no actual practice And talk therapy only works if you leave and actually do the shit that you say you're gonna do, which most people like you don't.

And so it's like, I hate now that, my rule Alabama family now has access to the internet and they use the most annoying buzzwords. Well, so and so needs to heal. They just need to go to therapy. Oh, just, I just need to heal. That's it. Okay.

Wow. Like, is it healing isn't like an abstract, you know, or like at the end that we, we just co-exist with trauma, you know, like that's a real thing too. I don't want to heal I don't wanna heal. I'm like a serial killer. I keep going back to the scene of the crime and like scratching that wound. That's my process.

That's cool. Whatever happens. Would you ever have a baby? I would fucking love to. Like, I think about it all the time, and I don't know when it happened. I think around the time I turned 40, like there was something where I was like,

fuck, I was going through feeling like this, what's the term? Oh, I just said the term. What is it when you can't move on? Star-rested development. A rested development. And I was just like, I was like, fuck, like what's the thing that was supposed to usher me

into adulthood? And sometimes I think maybe I'm just projecting that onto a child, but then sometimes too, I do feel like they're supposed to be someone there, or they're supposed to be, I'm supposed to be caring for someone beyond myself. And I do it for my friends all the time. And because, you know, we still need parenting, you know, even as whatever. I mean, I mean, I'm like, I mean, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm But it's also to the fact that- But it's good, it's freeing it away because you have no choice. Like if you're like a decent fucking person,

like you're not gonna like abandon the baby or throw it into a dumpster. So you have to stop up. You have to be the same. Yeah, that is, yeah. That is time, so. Well, the fact that like our dance were from a generation where all they had to do

was like get some bitch pregnant, but I'm like someone where I'm just like, okay, if I can save up $20,000. I can wash my sperm I can find another gay to turkey bass Like so much planning to get a certain Waterball and woman who will be your surrogate. Do you know the Korean surrogates are cheaper than Brazilian ones? What in that crazy? What why I'm sure something that we probably don't I'm gonna actually purse out than Brazilian ones. What? Isn't that crazy? Why? Why?

I'm sure something that we probably don't are gonna actually purse out, but like, I was like looking into it, and I was like, but like, don't you have to fly the baby further from Korea? Well, they also have less of, they're in a, not in like a replenishing population. There's less Koreans.

So I would think they would be more expensive. Because they're more rare. So, Brazilians or Koreans have more plastic surgery. That's a good question. How do Koreans, honestly? Because the other thing is, I'm very aware of all the ethical arguments against surrogacy, but my thing with surrogacy outside of the rights of the surrogate and all the thorny issues that come up is like, when you have a stranger who's carrying your genetic material in her body, there must be some minimal genetic overlap that occurs. Micro- Yeah micro- Merrick seapage or whatever, like totally. So you have to choose your surrogate wisely, it can't be some like- I mean I'd-

I'd kill you- I'd kill you when I think of some random trick off the street. But I mean, tramps off the street have babies all the time. Yeah, I guess so. They're firt all. They're skinny. they're fertile. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're skinny. They're regular. Well, I remember them actually in Oakland,

they would like flyer for surrogates in like my neighborhood. I remember like the punk girls would have their eggs harvested for lots of money, too. Yeah. And that's all there's also some that didn't pricing discrepancies. Yeah, it's like below, it's $20 for a punk If you have to like hide your status that you're a punk. No, this one girl who was like I knew she was Mexican

But she would pretend that she was Indian and the price point was way higher It would lie about her like academic credentials Yeah, so she would get way more money for her eggs. I filled out an egg donation, like, application before in a moment. I like knew I kind of wouldn't go through it, but it was, I love the drama of it. I'm like, well, I guess I'm just selling like, the eggs and the someone rescues me.

Unless someone out there wanna save me, I guess I'll just sell my eggs. I hope I don't have a ton of hormonal side effects that make me crazy, I guess I'll just sell my eggs. I hope I don't have a ton of hormonal side effects. I mean, crazy, I mean, but it was the, it was a really hard application because they really like, I mean, you can lie. Obviously, and most people definitely do, but it's like, they really like, they want to, they ask you like, what your favorite movies are and stuff. They like, they're almost like mining to see how like normal you are like donny dark, but if you're like selling your eggs you're like yeah I was like what's

googling like normal movies, like deer hunter. I was like when I'm at the doctor and they're like do you smoke I'm like of course not. They're like that's unhealthy. How many people have you had sex with in the last six months? I'm like two. Well, Brontez, you know that if you don't have sex with other people for a very long time, your body count number resets and you're like a born-again virgin. How long does it take? I don't know, that's a good question. I'm late.

Wait, really? I mean, I just made that up. That's not true. But, in a way, it's spiritually true. But it's like, it's spiritually true. But it's like cost per wear. It's like when you buy a very expensive designer item and you're trying to justify purchasing it and you're like, if I wear it like 10 times, it's like, and if you have sacks with like hundreds of people over your lifetime if you divide that over

non-plentiful years. Okay. You see what I'm saying? Like like lifetime. Yeah. Yeah. Like if you're averaging, if you're having a lot of sex and then not having all the sex for a period of time, eventually the average goes down. Yeah. Oh. Oh. Oh. Yeah. We're math wizards. My father's like flying it to good use. I, we're math wizards. I'm telling you, my father's like, it's applying it to good use. It's like got that slut math. Yeah. That's good news, yeah.

Yeah. Cool, practically a virgin. Like I like spread my ball and like it's twinkles. Yeah. It's like, would you ever adopt? Yeah, yeah, totally. I think you don't seem so enthused about adoption, I was a little... Well, no, because it's virtually impossible for gay men to adopt in general. And also, too, it's in order.

I have to have that. Face tattoos. No, yeah, I'd have to have a husband who makes a'd like have to have like a husband who makes like a lot of money. True. Who's a senator? No. No. And I'm just like, I'm just come to the realization that like my future husband is like at an

A meeting somewhere. It probably makes like $30,000 a year. The boys that were like going to be married and do well, like they did that shit. And the boys that were going to be married and do well, like they did that shit and the boys that were gonna be married and do well are already getting divorced now. So I'm getting like the second and third string fucking Mm-hmm. Yeah, he drinks around the floor. Gay, divorce, ay, uh.

Yeah, I'm not getting no fucking. It's gonna be fucking pre-nubs and fucking pain. You're gonna be my past against me. It might be hard for you to get a baby. Yeah, that's true. I went and saw the New Godzilla movie. What? I didn't know there was a New Godzilla movie. Wait, is there like a baby that did the whole way?

Oh, Godzilla has a baby? No! What? This like failed comic-cawsy pilot. It's like post-World War II era. There's like an orphanWorld War II era. There's like an orphaned baby that he like adopts whatever. But I was kind of like,

if I could get a Japanese baby. Oh! You can't get one of those. Bebe! Oh my God. Unmarried podcasters. Looking to adopt the cutest Japanese baby for content mining. I think we should just steal a baby from the mall.

Oh my God, that's a great idea. And like we should flex, it should be like the whitest baby ever. Arian. Yeah, totally. Yeah, like obviously be walking around with my pentagram tattoos being like, right.

And this is like, wait, what's the fucking white name? Taylor. Oh, but don't you, okay, wait, not to divest, but like y'all know like, like John Crawford obviously. Of course. Yeah, like, okay, so her kids Christina and the other one, and you know the rap, the wrestler Ric Flair from the 80s. Yeah, so they were part of this like baby scheme

in Tennessee in the 30s. This lezby. Joan Crawford's children. This lesbian name, Georgia Tan, was like going in poor white neighborhoods and taking all the blonde hair blue-eyed babies and selling them the coastal couples because Joan Crawford was also single and like no California agency would do it, but like she made millions of dollars doing it. But then also would repossess the babies.

Like, if you were a poor white woman in Tennessee and like you had like an Aryan baby, she was in with the fucking hospitals and they would tell these women that their baby died. And then it's so bad. Like it was like great, but they also had this home where like there were babies that they couldn't sell.

And so there were dead babies there. What? And like the day of her, they finally caught her. She had made something like millions of dollars in mythos, Tennessee in the 30s. No reason to be that rich. But they found like, the day she was supposed to go to trial, she died of cervical cancer.

Holy shit. Like, so we wouldn't do anything like that. But like we would just like take one. We would just take one Yeah, not for profit Just like have fun. Just like be at parties. Yeah, we're like parents So We should put some out there. They had to like falsify the documents of the babies. I guess I wonder if it's harder to get away with shit Definitely definitely better now

I wonder if it's harder to get away with shit. Definitely. Definitely. Better know. Now it's way harder. Because everything versus surveilled and everything is- No, I know, I know. But because there's such a glut, like such an oversaturation of like information,

I feel like people don't even bother to look into stuff. Like I'm sure a bunch of weird shit is still going down. And there's also like kids, I'll be seeing kids in the mall and they look so bummed with their parents. And I'd be like, no, we could start a band. Like your mom's name is Dasha. Your dad's name is Brontez. Like that's already like a sitcom.

We're for an interracial couple, totally. You could be a model in New York City. If we had the Japanese baby, so lit. You would be in the style section. Oh my God. Dean Kisik would write a story. Interracial couple with a Japanese baby. Adopt Dean Kisik, four years.

Dasha and Bront has used to be really problematic, but now that their parents were gonna respect them. Totally, that's totally how that story is going to go. That's going to go really good. That wouldn't be the most degenerate thing we could do. A gay guy recently was telling me that he wants to marry a woman because it's like a status symbol. Oh I'm not gonna dox him, but he got me thinking. I think the person I started my fucking dance company with

total woman like fucking Well, she bought me because I was like a one day. I was just like I feel like a wash the bottom and she went and bought me like a wedding ring Oh my god She's like The trophy was been and like women are the only people that I could actually count on Honestly, like that is so true. The game and have had to marry women since the beginning of time Exactly that was his pitch to me too that it was kind of like a high society, liberty and thing where we could like live separately and it would be like a status

thing where we would be like married, but both like kind of like Marie and Stahl style. Having like, I went to her side. I don't know. I was that, wait, when did you go to Surgeon? I was like, I was there last month. Okay. That's when you fell off the wagon. I like I had like I had five glasses of wine in France. Yes, it was like, but no not ever side, but I was like, but it was it was kind of insane. Did it live up to? Was it everything you thought of it would be? Okay, it was like the same room remix Nine times a different times. Yes, and everyone was like no, but back in the day It smelled like shit because everyone pissed in the corner like and then also The real thing was like how pagan it was There wasn't one reference to the Christian God anywhere in it. It was all Greek and Roman gods even in the church

Cathedral where the Roman gods and Even in the church cathedral, where the Roman gods, and I was like, oh, these people were in a crazy fever dream of thinking they were like chosen, which I'm thinking like, that's fucking lit. It's like, man. And also too, I was thinking like, okay, some Maria, it's when it sucks. I actually got her head shopped off. But can you imagine like 20 years of someone wiping your ass, thinking you're a god? Like, that's more than enough. Yeah. Such a cult, but you also understand why they fucking killed those people The French peasants are

Dishonored messy I feel like they still like they're still not having it. I kind of I'm kind of hurt her about her About Priya and Twinnett and I bought her about the Roman elves Of course, yeah, they got executed as a family and The mother had sewn the families like precious jewels into the garments of the children because She was you know holding out hope that they may be like rescued or pardoned or whatever and so when the Bolshevik execution are started firing on them in this tiny room, the initial bullets, like pinged off of the jewels

that were sewn in the garments. So they got scared because they thought it was some kind of religious thing. Yeah, divine protection. I mean, not know. Yeah, totally. But yeah, I know they slaughtered them in cold weather. But they're saying, now they're saints in the Russian Orthodox Church.

But really. That's a big critique of Catholics per your point about it being pagan, is that Catholics are basically like Christianized pagans. And that they used Christianity as like a veil through which they still could practice kind of like a polytheistic gay sucks. Wait, they got killed because they were Catholic? No, and then off Scott killed because they were like the royals. The royals, they were like the heirs of the royal family.

They had to kill the children because they figured that they didn't want anybody mounting a royalist insurrection years down the line and they were a godless communist so they had to eradicate the sline of people. Damn. But I wish I was like more of a... I wish I was a better communist. I'm just... I'm kinda just like...

You know, I don't know if I'm gonna kill someone like I think being a bad Communist is probably good being a good communist means killing people and throwing their bodies and That's what the best Fuck you But I also get you know why they why they did Yeah, cuz they weren't being governed adequately. And they didn't have, you know, let them eat, brioche, whatever.

Like did they get instant money and food when they use people to die? No, that's the thing. When things get so bad and you do a revolution, it's like, it's not, it's not random. But the times of millions of like less noble and aristocratic people get mowed down to All that trouble and you still starved it. Yeah, yeah Exactly this is for why Like

Napoleon got to do his thing You know he was a product of the revolution. Oh shit. So, I know some little about actual history. Like I know the movie too. Same. I watched a lot of YouTube videos recently. That's why I'm talking with such authority.

I don't remember what time I'd be on Kenanmean during quarantine and I was like, you know, I'm gonna look up the history of Russia on Wikipedia. And I like got to the first quarantine and I was like, you know, I'm gonna look up the history of Russia on Wikipedia and I like that to the first paragraph and I was like, this is impossible. I'm just like, I'm like, I like don't even get it. That's another reason I wanna go back to school because I like would love to just take like a primer on like, you know, so watch some YouTube videos.

Yeah, I love it, of course. Yeah, I'd love to just kind of get yeah Like some the basics down Cuz I see that my tone all this and forgot it promptly. I don't think I did Okay, I love to school in Alabama like I had teachers being like well, you know This slavery thing has been blown out of proportion If you paid a thousand dollars for a man would you treat him bad? There was a lot of money in that day. We're just sitting there like holy shit I feel like this is wrong but I have no tools with which to debate this man. Yeah. I also remember being like told like yeah like some slaves weren't treated so bad.

But you mean like okay. Some slaves weren't treated so bad. But I mean, being like, okay. But I'm just like, fine. Where? I mean, that is objectively true, but that's kind of besides the point. That is funny. I saw an interesting thread on Twitter

where they were talking about how like, it was much better to be an American slave than a South American slave, because they were farming cotton versus sugar cane, which is much harder to... Well, but that happened in America too, because it's like, I'm from Alabama, and like, if you were bad,

they sent you to Southern Alabama, because there was like, there's swamps, there's more, and it was sugar cane, my family grew sugar cane, and like cotton and stuff. But, you know, but even in learning in the history of like, slavery, it's like, I always do think that there was always just the idea of like, whip cracking cotton picking, that's

true. But we never learned things that like enslaved Africans built the White House, like some of their like some on some plantations they were sent to France to learn how to cook and come back, you know, I don't, but I also think these tales of exceptionalism are, you know, not maybe go hand in hand with all the like the cuz misery like even if he sent you the France He could still fuck your 12-year-old daughter if he felt like you know. I'm saying so I'm sure you were still a These rich plantation owners bought slaves that they like

Wanted to make good on their investment, so they didn't want them to die off immediately. So they tried to keep them alive, but that's also like, that's not like necessary. I really like them. I could say, if you're someone, sometimes I'll just be sitting there like, and I'm just like, damn, I'm so exhausted by my blackness Okay, so it was totally during like the fucking the whole like black life that year my black life mattered right and I was like I was like we were sitting in Oakland right I was like at this like protest and this like really crazy mixed-race black girl Gets on the mic right you can tell she had like a guilty white mom and a absent black bag. Sorry, I mean I'm gonna make fun of her. But wait, that's like literally the life story of Nicole Hannah Jones.

No, for real she had she was raised by her white mom and had an absent ad and she's like the 1619 project lady but anyway go on. Okay, the girl gets on the mic and she's like I just want every white person here to apologize to a black person. And I was like, oh, no. Because it was just a wave of white people being like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. And like, I'm such a like bottom. I'm like, whenever someone says sorry, I'm like,

oh, it's, oh, it's, it was like, it was like that movie mid-summer. It was like white people were like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I was like, it was like the worst thing that ever happened They were basically lashing you Wait, Broncos do you think that you're tired because of your blackness or because of your femininity? does do you think that you're tired because of your blackness or because of your femininity? But is that there is that amazing line in the book where you were like,

I inherited another feminine trait for my mother exhaustion. Oh my god. That's true. Women are also so tired. Women are so tired. So don't like tired. Like femininity is sold. And it's like, okay, I'm like,

I'm like, now if we're trying to say this to be fucked up. Like, I'm definitely a black dude that probably shouldn't have been shot by a police officer. Like, when I think of all my drug freakouts, my blackouts agree, I don't have this tattoo from the last time I stopped drinking this, I'm sorry officer, but it's like the one thing, the one thing, and this is like men are so dumb,

especially like way men are. When the officer comes up, all you have to do is like, how are you gonna be like, I'm sorry sir. And the whole energetic change, like, it's a symptom of like femininity, like, you know, and it's like,

it's so slight and it's just strict, but it always like goes hand in hand because you know, when I'm on grinder people just see like a black dude with tattoos and the idea is I'm supposed to be like some mandingo top or whatever But then I show up and I'm like I have a degree from Berkeley and I have a musical voice Oh look at things like it's it's it's it's crazy and I always think about Intersectional conversation always being a graveyard Because people always wanted to be like one or the other but no one ever has room for the thing that these things my

Femininity and my blackness like you almost cannot it's like grains of sand you cannot separate them To tie them to like this kind of like being it's like I don't know It's like like even, I don't know, it's like, like even like, I don't know, like being around like crazy white feminist in the bay, and like, just like, there were like the white girls that were like the dyke sex workers that were just so fucking hard-edged the entire fucking time, or the other crazy girls that like, if they had just like, knew how to shut their mouth they could have been in some white dude's house living and extravagant life but they could

stop talking. It's hard to accept that and it's like sometimes too I think about like oh my god I'm gonna get in trouble for saying this. You're not gonna get in, come on. But like even as we deal with like these new group of like non-binary kids or like when we talk about like you know people I'll say it like this. I feel like even though I was born with a dick, I'm somebody who had to fight to be a man. I had to fight to be, I was such a family little boy.

I had to fight to be understood as a man. And I literally was born with a dick, right? And you go for it. Do you think if you were a young person now, being an effeminate, sensitive young man, such as yourself, do you think you would have been non-binary or more gender dysphoric? It depends on where you are,

because even my little nephew who's a totally masculine boy will still be my pronouns or he, and he does just this conversation on it. The thing that I say though too is like, man reject each other's manhood all the fucking time. What do you mean like they, you see like dick men? That's right.

So like, they keep with each other. Okay, so in the cult of masculinity, in the cult of alpha manhood, they'll look at a man who's a feminine or a man that they think is less than, he's a cuck. He's a beta He's a fucking this that any other they do ways to degrade his manhood, right? Until the point that that cuck or that beta actually goes and puts on the dress and says okay

I'm not a man the second they put on the dress That's one other man. They're like your man. What are doing? Like, it's like this weird fucking game that's absurd. And sometimes I think the non-binary kids as even as we like make fun of them. But I don't think it's the cult of masculinity that necessarily like, pacifies men. I think it's that like, femininity has become such a like, dominant mode that there is power now in like being a feminine.

Yeah, that was always my like read on the non-binary and trans stuff. I feel like I grew up in a situation where like it was like the women were always in control and like we always laugh at the idea of any type of matriarchy, but literally like my grant. I think I talked about this last time. My grant that job was to put this like paycheck on the table. And, you know, and like, and grandma did like, like, everything. But also, like, to the cold of manhood, too, it's like, the thing that specified me was not wanting to wear a dress, watching football is what made me gay,

like watching like- But you're not specified. Yeah gay, like watching like- But you're not pacifying. Yeah. You're not like- Well, it's us. Like I thought it seems that way amongst us, but to the larger population, like- I know.

You're one of the most masculine guys in New York. What are you talking about? Probably because I'm like, I'm like, you're the straightest guy in downtown New York. Oh my god. But also I feel like black culture is a matriarchal culture to begin with for obvious reasons in America especially. Totally.

And I think you know, but they even grown up in Alabama and like in an appellation culture like even like like at that culture is very strongly like matririarchally based, and you know what I'm saying? Like, it's funny too, because it's hard to press out, because anytime we ever bring up the idea of what a matriarchy actually looks like, we can only grasp it concepts, because we just patriarchy is the only thing we study. It's the only thing we like actually understand, or it has more concrete.

I don't even think people understand what they mean when they say patriarchy because realistically under an actual patriarchy, none of the cultural phenomenon that we're dealing with would ever be allowed to occur. There would be no only fans, there would be no gender bending, it would be a much more strict and authoritarian type of... But in as far as all those things are products of this sexual revolution, that kind of came out of it. But don't you feel like men wanting sex is what, why we have, like the demand for sex

workers is always... It is, yeah yeah it's obviously I think driven by men but I think like and who's profiting ultimately yeah yeah I say it all the time like I really think the fucking sexual revolution totally cheap and sex like yeah all the time like who taught me that I should just give my pussy away for free? You watch that series, who taught me? Who did teach you that? Like the fucking beatin' it girl,

where he's like paying for her apartment. Sometimes I'm like, oh, if this was the 50s, like, there's this book about these white women in Harlem in the 20s, I think all the four Mrs. Madison's, and it was talking about these white lesbians were like paying for these, were patronages for like black artists, you know. And then you ever see the portrait of Jason. The portrait of Jason is about this black man. It's a Shirley Clark movie, you know, Shirley Clark one of my favorite people, you know, the Jewish feminist filmmaker

from mid century. Oh, well, she was like, she did this kind of interview with this like gay black performer dude who worked for this white lady uptown well, she was like, she did this kind of interview with this gay, black performer dude who worked for this white lady uptown. And she was kind of this horrible white lady, but also, what do you do for her? He was like, no, he was, well, he was like, like, the servant in her house. But it was like, if you were, okay,

if this were like, the probably the 40s or 50s in New York, if you were like the single white woman, like, I would probably live at your house. I mean, we would like, would probably live at your house. I mean, like we would like mate, but that was how we like survive. Like femininity had always had these secret codes of how we were relating to each other. It was just never studied because the dominant headline

was like, paid sharky. Billy Holiday, Billy Holiday, when she wrote, lady sings the blues about being in New York in the 20s. She talked about having this white, like this white lover lady who paid for her life and her thing was like, well, we could walk, I felt sorry for the boys because they could never walk down the street together, but me and this white woman could walk down the street together and no one would ever know. So it's like, so much of our made-shark or femininity also had to, like, I mean, it's

like witchcraft. We had to exist in cloak. Know what kind of crazy shit actually went on or the survival techniques. Yeah. Like, because it's like, even like, it's like crazy. Like, that thing like, this was like 50 years ago, the three of us would not be sitting here talking on a podcast. Like our relationship would definitely go to the fides, like so crazy different, you know what I'm saying?

But it's like these things have certainly existed, but it's just like how? We would be like marching in the streets and burning our breasts, hanging out here to be seen with broad guns. Or just as many of those women had fucking, you know, husbands that were fucking hookers and they stayed home and like, you know, and kicked it with their gay friends and like, you know, had like

different lives. Yeah. It was like a lot of gay husband. I was, I'd probably be married to my gay guy for the past 5 years and I can't tell. What do you think of Tareek Nishid and his thesis of buck breaking? Wait, who the fuck is Terekna Sheet? He's the sky who I guess is a quote journalist and documentarian.

He's active on Twitter. I think he's a performance artist, basically. But he... Oh, he's probably... And before he became a neo-civil rights activist, he used to write books on like, pimping and macking. He was like, if seduction community was black sort of thing,

like a pickup artist for black guys. Yeah, pickup artistry, whatever. Oh no. And then he kind of rebranded as like, a social justice troubadour or whatever. But he's interesting and like, colorful, whatever. But he had this idea of buck breaking that black men in white American society are like,

specified. And it's like a siaop, basically, the black ice gay. Okay, but then also too, it's just like a hammer, then. I also think that that's such a like, such a hotel-ass and hilarious.

I can't say, yeah, yeah. It's like so, hotel-a-tepe, and it's just like, I don't like, vibrant, like kind of weird queer culture existed in Africa. Yeah. There's always been fucking faggots, and they do everything in the world to pretend that they're like not and like and

Even as he says it and he talks about like Bug breaking or making specifically black there are plenty of fucking white dudes that have this same idea of like No, we're turning men into women or whatever. Yeah, I'm just like okay mother fucker than go build a log cabin for me Okay, like yeah, go find a killer deer. Like, he's doing this thing where he's using, like obviously like a metaphor from slavery. Yeah, basically, yeah. And basically his idea is that, yeah,

because they win out, they picked out the most, like alpha strong black eyes in Africa. And then they like, it's been a long process of like making black eyes gay. Like winnowing them. Yeah. Oh, like that. Because all basically his thesis is that all the slaves

were straight, tops. But also like, gay and trans stuff has existed since the dawn of time. My one thing is that I don't think any civilization throughout history ever thought of it like our modern western civilization does because it was like some civilizations did before they collapsed. But it was like they saw it as like a practice versus identities. I mean, once you, the American experiment is so weird, and it's so like, it is like, you know,

where like white supremacy was totally recodified, right? There's no way to think out. Sometimes in America, it's hard because there's no way to think outside of terms of whiteness, or whiteness as it relates to blackness, right? Because it's like, so charged. Going to fucking Europe, like going to Europe, it was the first time where I realized,

oh, Norwegians don't fuck with Swedish people, the French don't, like the tribes of Europe. They're all racist against each other. They were with each other, whereas in America, like white people are just white, right? Also too, like to speak to a sexual point, going to Europe was the first time that white men would pick me up to bottom. I realized my whole, like it wasn't until I was in my 20s

and touring with bands in Europe that I realized my cell-hole sexual life in America, it was assumed that I would always top. So there is, of, there is, of course, this idea of, like, the Viral Black Man, or, you know, people, like, also, like, are very much interesting. Yeah, they're very much like the Cuck porn of it all. But here's the thing. Cuck porn is mostly consumed by white men. Yeah, not black. Not black. Yep. Yep.

But the hundred percent. Yeah, but. Yep. But then you're saying. Yeah, but it's also, it's studied through such a like, it's through such a white patriarchal lens that's also there. What I'm always trying to excavate is like the secret histories of how we got along. Because what he's good saying is like very true in this one sense, but there's a hundred other ways queerness exists. That's like this guy, he's so obsessed with this one white model

That he would never even have the idea. Yeah, but that he's not a very conceptual But that's why he's so like prominent and like Influential in a way. I don't know if he's prominent or influential, but right pathetically for the sake of argument Let's say is Because he is kind of like half right in order to be like a good grifter, you have to be half right. I can't be all wrong because people will just call your buff. And it's like, and it's like, and also he's stating like the absolute worst fear of all of

us. And you know, and this worst fear is kind of true. But then I just, I know to be honest, like, I don't feel like, oh, all of us just know to be honest like I don't feel like all of us just got to be pacified do you understand how hard I had to fight to be a faggot like I could have just been like download trade and to be honest to like even you think you could have been down the Absolutely not I'm like I'm like oh yeah totally I, oh, yeah, totally.

I'm just nodding along. But then just like the function of society where like, I'm a different, different white liberal just apologizing to Brawntown. I'm making him sit on the floor. Oh my God. It's like so comfortable. But okay, like, I'm.

This is very Japanese. Yeah. I mostly have sex with like straight men because of sniffies, because having sex with gay men We can't be that straight. No, well here's the thing. Here's the thing I for the first time really understood like gay is like a political Identity with that because it's the same like when you go on Grindr It's like Christian Mingle gay guys always want to know how big your dick is, what school you went to, how much money

you have in the bank account. That gives really like, never- Sniffies is like- Wait, that's really touching that they care about what school you went to and how much money you have in your bank account. Cause I thought they would just care about the size of your dick.

Well, that's on Grindr. It's like, it's today, like it's like, I almost never get hits on Grindr, whereas Sniffies is so sketchy. What's Sniffies is this? I'm like, Sniffies, you got all my keys for it. Okay, so anyone fucking know. It'm like, I'm so pretty. I'm fucking no.

It was originally put on Fett Life. And so it was called Sniffies for the Curious. And the thing is, it can't get an app license because they actually show like Dix and penis and whole. And it's just, it's literally guys, like, it's a map where you can see where gay guys like have left their house. It's like a map. So yeah, it's left their house. It's like on the fucking it's on and it's on a web browser.

So it's not an app. It's not an app. It's a web browser so you can clean off your phone. I mean this looks like that congressional stuff. Yeah. On the table. Is anyone nearby that we can go have gay sacks? This is the chaos.

They're looking at the grid right now, but the most of the guys I hook up with are like, they're all the gay guys around you. These men are like, they're all in their 40s. Can we really have some of these gay guys to come over? They just like do checks. They might be having to do like my Christmas tree. They're like, I love it. They're like red scare, oh my God.

No, but it's like these guys, the guys that are like actually gay never hit me up. It's the creeper profiles that always hit me up. And it's the guys. With no peg, no hole. So they're trying to sex murder. Well, kinda. But it's like they, they're what,

they always have the second kid and their wife stops putting out and They're in a place where they know erectile dysfunction is gonna hit somewhere in ten years So they go to the realm where they have the most fettred sex Which is with fucking gay men and like some of those guys are scary They can act these kind of crazy fantasies that they would be put in jail if they did with women But also to You because of the culture. Like, why? But the culture of straightness is that most straight men, I don't think,

know women outside of their social circle. So they can't really sleep around in their social circles. There's no sniffies for heterosexual people. So they should start. They go there. And it's like, it's a lot of these men. And sometimes too, like I'll be thinking about like the sexual revolution as we, as I know it was supposed to be the queer revolution,

I don't think it made more faggot. It's like more trans girls that wanna get married and move to the suburbs. And a bunch of straight dudes that now feel like they have access to gay sex without having to call themselves queer. There's like this mutated sense of everything, you know, where I'm just like,

I can't actually put a finger on what is actually happening, but it's not a thing that I'm interested in. It's not a big bag of trade. It's not. But yet, in life. I like the old, sorry, go ahead. At the same time, you have like Jill Biden's like Faggotty like Christmas video in like the upper echelons of society were like celebrating.

They're having gay sex in the Senate celebrate, you know, it's like the faggot's that's what I love about faggot is there's nothing they won't desecrate. Like nothing is holy. They will be faggots anywhere, anywhere, anywhere, anywhere. Billy Porter was singing at the fucking end. And I was like, I was like, what the fuck? I can't even like, and also too, it's just like, it's hard for me because like People be asking me shit, but like at my very core like I'm such an authoritarian

I just don't believe we live in influencer culture right and the thing I don't like about it is The authoritarian is to believe that you can tell someone believe that you can tell someone that you have influence. I know it's just like somebody called me an influencer once I was like, if the world listened to me, this shit would look so different. Yeah, yeah. It'd be awful. How do you feel about Billy Porter? Yeah.

Ah! I'm sorry, I need to know. I think sometimes I do feel like I am the total antithesis. Because obviously like I'm a musical fucking faggot But Billy Porter is a total Christian and I like I'm a romantic Christian. She's a fucking question. That man's a Christian Christian like she's a Christian Fucking she was like she was like fucking. She's like Israel. I hope you pull through I hope you pull through. I hope you pull through. I hope you pull through.

I'm like a literal, like I'm a literal romantic sadist. You know what I'm saying? Like literally, like I like talk to the devil. Maybe I was. You're doing voodoo. Oh yeah, I was supposed to go to Benin and get initiated, but then I spent the month doing the job.

Where are you, Haitian? I mean, conceptually, no, um, wait, brought this. Have you ever done 23 in me? Yeah, totally. I'm sure people from Nigeria and Ghana. LaZia. Let me guess. I mean, I mean, I was like, Nigeria and Ghana. No, yeah, but I mean, also to like, when, when, whenever my family left there, it was all one region.

So, how wide are you? I'm 10% English and 0.001% Irish American. Oh. One drop rule. Wait, that's... You're from all over the world. That's like lower than the national average. That's sick.

Because I think most African Americans are like 20 to 30% white, so then crazy like that. Because there's so been so much like intermixing. No, yeah, I'm like I'm like I like no no, this is I think I grew up in like trying the Alabama was like town of 500 all black people I didn't have a white friend till I was 12 and then you know, that's how I feel about the Jews I will see that my first, my first teacher in eighth grade, my teacher in eighth grade was the rabbi's wife and she's the one that would give me band literature. And I remember it's very wife. It's so very subversive.

Every fucking fear of like you know the Jews coming and giving the blacks communist literature. There was this reader,, there was a section. Actually true. There's a section in eighth grade where you had to study the civil rights and the Holocaust. So we were doing that work and it would give us these pamphlets, these civil rights readers. There was one where I was like, talk about Dr. Marluxer King,

but she comes up to me and she gives it to me to put in my book bag and she's like, I can't give you this because of the last story in it. And the last story was about that famous case where the gay guy was getting beat by his attackers in Maine and had to jump off a bridge and die. It was in the movie It. There was a movie.

The clown movie? The movie It is set in this place in Maine where Stephen King lived, but that story happened. It made it into it, but I read about it, but she knew that I was a faggot. Yeah, she was like, I'm giving you this for bed and literature because I know you're gay. Yeah, as you can see.

You have no boundaries and desperately. Oh, but that's like, why my second zine, my second zine was called Schlepp, because she was teaching us like Yiddish words and stuff. I thought it was such a cool word, but it was like, yeah, it was super, yeah, I even think her in the back of the book. Oh.

Like in the acknowledgments, like. Did you see the Satanic shrine they put up in the town hall in Iowa? No, like, people are so weird. Like I'm only like a romantic Satanist. Oh wait, we have, we have like a, where you call this, when it's like a pre It's not out the book's not out. It's not out of anyway. Okay, so we have like a very early copies and the

the um dedication is like dedication tk and it's oh who's tk and I realized it's like a convention. Yeah, I got this. It's like, Tually, like, um, wait, what was I saying? Um, something like that. Oh, but also, but like, okay, but also to like, Billy Porter, his Christianity, I grew up in like a crazy like Baptist call

and at the end of the day, I'm like, I wanna say this and I hope I like don't get in trouble. It's like, it's the reason why essentially like, I'm like, I wanna say this, and I hope I don't get in trouble. It's like, it's the reason why essentially, I fucking just don't like Abrahamic religion in general, but it's the one, okay, Christianity, Muslimism, Judaism. No, it's like, these are all the religions that paint God, the closest to the likeness of men, but also causes the biggest intrusions in the world,

or the ones that feel the most comfortable step in the UB and like, if you don't believe in, like how I believe in it, like it's gonna be a problem for you, like my witchcraft comes from like, the idea that I have to interpret God as a color or a concept, or even maybe just because I'm a bastard, I do believe that maybe what if God is something that created us, but is deeply unconcerned with us now? Like that's also like an intellectual option.

Christian, he always has to have God as a parent that's constantly coddling us. The Old Testament God was very punishing. I mean, it's the same God. I'm a Christian. No, no, well, that's a deal. I grew up in Alabama. The name of my church was news eye and missionary Baptist church. I'm sitting there singing like, I'm going to sing and pray in New Jerusalem. Where the sun ever goes down. And I'm like, I'm like, no, I'm not. I'm like, you're not.

I'm literally in Oakland like. It's high out. I'm like snorting cocaine and like praying to say, like, come on, like, you're, you're, you're rebelled against your repressive religious upbringing. I don't see, I don't see, I don't see, I don't see, I don't see, I don't see, I don't see, I don't see, I don't see,

I don't see, I don't see, I don't see, I don't see, I don't see, I don't see, I don't see, I don't see, I don't see, I don't see, I don't see, I don't see, I don't see, I don't see, I don't see, I don't see, I don't see, I don't see, I don't see, I don't see, I don't see, I don't see, I don't see, I don't see, I don't see, I don't see, I don't see, I don't see, I don't see, I don't see, I don't see, I don't see, I can't believe your fucking mom takes you to that fucking church. You really think a fucking white man has flown around

in space, gonna fucking judge you. So fucking stupid. Why would he be as him? God was white. What cause we, cause I mean, couple is Alabama and there are pictures of, every time there are pictures, all of a sudden,

Ron has his, your dad hot. Jesus was fucking gorgeous. Oh my god. He was like, oh my god. He would take me deer hunting and shit. He was really of gorgeous. Oh, that's so damn funny. He would take me deer hunting in shit. He was really into the police. I do have any picks.

I think so much. Just off hand. Even so, you can chose. I'll look for it. It's okay. But as he got older, he started going to church because that's where all the single women were. So he changed his tune.

Mm-hmm. But then my mom later got more disillusioned with the church as we knew it, you know. Well, Baptists believe that you have to be baptized as an adult. They don't believe in the sacraments the same way they're like... Totally. As Baptism is creak by the church. But you like had to make a Baptist, you have to make like a decision.

Yeah. Or you're like, I'm, you have to give your consent. Yeah. Or as Catholics, like, dunk you in your baby and you're good. You know what book I would really love to read, you guys, is maybe there's one already excellent, please slide into my DMs. I would love to read like a, just like basic primer about religion in America and all the different sects.

That's why we got to go back to school. Well, I learned recently that mainline Protestantism referred to an actual train line. Yeah, not like that. And not just like the dominant thing. There's a train that goes through the Northeast, through Pennsylvania, the main line, and the Protestant. So mainline Protestantism is like the churches that are like close to that line. So not Baptist are not mainline Protestants, I think.

They're like, but we had this song growing up in the church. I was like, Jesus is on the main line, telling what you want. Oh, Jesus is on the main line. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Oh, you're like, it's clearly about the telephone, bro.

No, I don't know what, yeah, you got to call him on the phone. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're all the bad stuffy, man. I don't remember having this Catholic boyfriend and like him actually like telling me what they did in church and like, but I do think my paganism was the fact that like we screened in church like we fall out like he had a charismatic what's what it's called. Oh wait what?

The Charismatics are the one like they have a charismatic experience of God where he like Resden through you. Yeah, but all the Catholic ways. I know we're like such crazy sluts Of course, and I think it's just because they like had to sit and chant Well, I'd like did something way more active which I think led to my Satanism That's how the demons got in yeah exactly. Yeah, bunch of demons That's how the demons got in. Yeah, exactly. That's how they get. We're going to get so canceled for having a gay black seat in a slump after everything

we've done. I'm literally like the mildest version. I'm still chiller than Billy Porter. You literally are. Do you think Billy Porter is evil? I think he's probably had to do evil things to exist. Yeah, is evil something you are something you do? Oh my god, don't see yourself smart. Thank you so much. I'm gonna look at Billy Porter evil

Sometimes you just gotta look for the Oh wow the first thing that comes up is a YouTube video called the woke Hollywood actor Billy Porter wants you to feel bad for him No, I think he's just like a he's just normal No, I think he's just like a, he's just normal. She's like, that's a Broadway queen. Like, you know what I'm saying? And sometimes too, I even think within the realm of black faggotry, like, I'm just like, even like trying to like write characters kind of like myself, all black faggotry exists.

No, you literally have to be in New York, voguing or singing on Broadway. There's never the black Faggot that was like on the West Coast trimming weed and like you know what I was saying. No, you have to be this like Stimmy like uppers New York 5, 6, 7, 8. I'm like such a slacker. You're a Cali. Yeah, you're like a stoner. I'm like, you're like, you're like a stoner.

No, they fucking... We're Cali girls. We can't achieve those heights. Such a fucking, such a suicide careerty. It's such a suicide career route. It's such a harsh branding. Callie girl, you never get away from it. Did you see that Don Lemon has a podcast? Wait, who?

Don Lemon. Oh, no. Really? Oh, no. Oh, no. Because he got fired. Oh, yeah. I mean, yeah.

I don't know for, I don't remember for what, but it was the scandal. That's what happened to us. Because he got fired. Oh, yeah. I mean, yeah. I don't know for, I don't remember for what, but it was the scandal. That's what happened to us. Thank you for the guy. Yeah. Have we got into vodka, thing? Have you listened to it? No, I just saw like a headline that was like, and his first guests are Ben Shapiro and Ricky

Jervais. And he's like, I'm just really passionate about independent media. I'm getting the last laugh, but he does have a podcast. Damn, that's gnarly. Something to aspire to. I don't think I would do a podcast, but I actually hate the sound of my own voice. What you're doing wouldn't know, bitch. But I mean, like, one that regularly, it would like...

Oh, it would kill... I know. I know. Why do you think I have such low self-esteem? Because I, I did the podcast, I feel like sit with my own voice for hours. I like this endeavor. I don't always like what I have to say. Yeah, I find it dalsit tones to be kind of. But I don't add. I don't have to.

Yeah. I'm going to do a food podcast. That's. Yeah. All right. What do you like talking about? Like, you know, like how I list? Did it my binge eating? Talk about your life. Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh

Yeah, okay, so I've been in California for 20 years And I'm just like and I hate when bitches are just like But Brent has you so beautiful and I'm like it's not about being beautiful like plastic surgery is about Control over your domain. So there's this place called sculpt air sculpts. No skull. Cool. Just sculpt. No, just sculpt.

They spell it with a cue. Squalps. And it sounds like a gay set. We're squalting. You can they have you can get an X X BBL and X L BBL or a Pate thing. They have, you can get an XXBBL and XLBBL or a PetibBL. I don't know what that means, so you're gonna have to break it down. Okay, the PetibBL is where they just move 66ccs of fat.

It's just a kiss. What are we taught? When we say, quote, 66ccs, it's like when people are like trying to describe like yardage and an apartment, like when Vicious trying to help you apartment, so I'm like, I actually said that like as if I know what that means. I just heard it.

Yeah, I'm sure, just 60, that's not a lot. How it, okay, how much is it? It's like a shot glass of fat. I guess it's like, the XL I think is like something like double that, it says like 126 or something. So if they take fat from part of your body and put it into your house. So you're trying to have a huge ass.

I mean, I mean, huge air, but just to be like, you know, extra. So what you're getting your, what's getting lighter? I'm getting, okay, I'm getting, okay, I heard that men can't get their stomach lipo because it gives you permanent erectile dysfunction like cause it fucks with the plumbing in there. Like so it's really dangerous for men to get stomach lipo. But the little fucking love handle right there.

I don't want all of it gone because like, there's something about being fat that I feel like is a rebel statement. It's kind of sexy when you like turn around. Look at that. I'm not gonna do that. It's rude, rude, and ass. That's sheroobic.

Yeah. Exactly. And also too, it's like part of me too is like there's like the ozemic revolution is hard for me because I'm just like Cuz like sometimes don't do it. Some people look well Diabetic's can't even get it now because everyone's doing it like people who actually need it can't get it And some people like look good on ozemic It's some people look like they're on this third round of chemo a lot of people like it's you got like the face You're gone. Yeah, it ages you but like and also too. I'm just like and it takes me your

Apple talking No, you're not it's not no you like it's not the other thing. It's a different look like it's just like I don't know Like you look very European. You look like Sergei. Yeah. Blake. Sometimes I'm just... You look like one of those peasants from the front revolution that he had in Maria, Twitter.

It's a Euro love. It's giving peasant. They don't, they don't. Oh, okay. Another thing I learned about the guillotine, it was actually the most, um, at the time it was the most humane way. The humane way.

Yeah, the most humane thing. Like, by the way, like lethal injection electric chair, those things clean chop horribly inhumane. It's very suffering. Like firing squad, firing squad. Fire squad seems okay. It seems better, but there's room for hanging. Hanging seems like something.

That's what they did to Saddam. Wait, what? Saddam who's saying they hung up to her. No. Yeah, they hung up. It's like if they want you to suffer, they just let you live. Yeah.

That's not what it's funny. They just walked in that one and all that one animal. Oh, or something. But anyway, so you're getting like, you're getting liposuction. Yeah. It's a jock at you. Is what is it scheduled? No, it's not scheduled. But you're going to get it taken from my under boot my side boob and put into your ass. Yeah. Okay. Because you can't lose your baby face. No, it's like no, it's like I have to like...

Well I was gonna say about ozemic is that it because it deprives you of an appetite. I think the gaunt look isn't just merely weight loss. It's like because you don't have like a will to live. You don't like, it's like, it comes here like libido on some level of bug man. You're not actually becoming thin through like discipline and restraint the way like hot people are. Yeah, you're becoming thin through satanism.

Not your kind of satanism, but through like literal antichrist, evil, voodoo, whatever. And almost food up all. If you discontinue your use of a zemp, literal anti-Christ evil, voodoo, whatever. And I'm a pseudophile. If you discontinue your use of a Zembeck, you just get the way back and God knows what else. Why can't any of these people, there's some people on that shit where I'm just like,

I'm just like, I've seen you fucking smoke crack at the back of fucking the worst bars in San Francisco, hopping cars with the sleasiest men, but you can't find the courage to be fat. And like, it's like you're not even, these people aren't even actually like fat, they're like California fat. They're just like, you know, anywhere else in America, they're still the skinniest person in the room, but like, God forbid you be like over 175 pounds. This is like it's something that's like manorexic men I'm talking about. How bad? How bad? Of a problem is manorexia in the gay community. It's like oh god

I watch these fucking bottoms in the fucking gym on that treadmill just chasing their youth and I'm just like Why don't y'all just give up? their youth and I'm just like, why don't you all just give up? It's like, and honestly, I get more dick as a fat girl than I ever did when I was like, I used to go to the gym five days a week, three hours a day and the only thing that happened is everyone expected me to top, you know. Yeah. And you said the lowest that you've ever weighed as an adult is 160 pounds. Yeah, but for my genetic makeup, I was never supposed to be 160 pounds.

I was like cocaine in the gym. Like you were skinny. It wasn't. We were all fucking skinny. Also our cocaine was so skinny. I'm skinny, but our cocaine didn't have fentanyl in it. It had meth in it. And I think that was the other thing.

Because no, when you do cocaine now, you're just dope sick for days. Whereas we used to just be like, up like doing sketchy shit with vigor. Well, in New York, we take Adderall. Oh, you do have some? No. I don't.

I don't. I don't have an Adderall. Contamplier, Dasha. No, I don't have an Adderall. She's got a good, good, good. I exhibited pill-seeking behavior, so I'm not allowed to have Adderall. That's so glimmer. But that is like why people in New York are skinny.

Due to Adderall, I'm fed Amiens, and productive and everything. It's like a lot of people are on Adderall. We get our sepsid here., we get our steps in here. We get our steps in here. We get our steps in here. We get our steps in here. We get our steps in here. We get our steps in here.

We get our steps in here. We get our steps in here. We get our steps in here. We get our steps in here. We get our steps in here. We get our steps in here. We get our steps in here. We get our steps in here.

We get our steps in here. We get our steps in here. We get our steps in here. We get our steps in here. We get our steps in here. We get our steps in here. We get our steps in here. We get our steps in here. We get our steps in here. We get our steps in here. We get our steps in here. We get our steps in here. We get our steps in here. We get our steps in here. We get our steps in here. We get our steps in here. We get our steps in here. We get our steps in here. We get our steps in here. We get our steps in here. We get our steps in here. We get our steps in here. We get our steps in here. We get our steps in here. We get our steps in here. We get our steps in here. We get our steps in here. We get our steps in here. We get our steps in here. We get our steps in here. We get our steps in here. We get our steps in here. We get our steps in here What's the fattest thing you eat? What's the fattest thing you eat? Like what's your... It's to this day and I'm just like Burrito culture there is so crazy

Like I'll be sitting there I'm like what's that alpastor? I'll get chicken. I don't really like pork I just don't but like I'm still sitting there Like there's like a couple of sour cream in this Burrito. It's like a big That's like that should have literally 3000 calories. Yeah and like I hate one.

It's like your daily, a lot of calories, but you're in just one meal, yeah. Even as years, it would be my one meal a day when I was like buying more drugs in my youth and I still like feel like, I would still have to fucking make myself throw up sometimes, not because I wanted to be skinny, but just because I felt bad.

Yeah, I mean, think about, but just because I felt bad. I mean, think about like a burrito really is. It's like, what are like this log of like a huge, huge, huge, huge, big, big fat cock. It's like a big, diminic and big. So fucking diminic and big. And you're choking that thing down. But that doesn't seem so bad.

Like some people with binge eating, they really like, they really like torture themselves with like, you know, like Elvis style with like peanut butter bacon, whatever, like deep fried. Okay, so I'm not okay. They just choke down like viscous food. I feel like I've lodged in your throat. Like some people really take binging to the really decadent place. Oh. I eat fucking McDonald's and mindies and talk about. I'm still so, like, even as a fat girl, I'm still

like skinny California bitch. I'm like, yeah, I eat like a burrito. You know what? The chicken? I'm like, what? Do you ever go to Arrow on? He loves it all. Oh, no, but when I'm in LA, yes, I love it. Like I think it's so delicious. It's amazing.

I'm so excited. I just assume arrow on is everywhere in California, but it's not. But they will deliver to the East Coast just FYI and deliver. What do you mean? You can buy candles and salts. Not, you can't buy all the food products. And by the way, just a fun fact that some of our listeners might like to know, just kidding, they won't.

Ah, ah, ah, ah. Amazon, Japan, no delivers to the United States. I think I said this already, so you can get weird, like, a little, mincey Japanese crap shipped to your home. Oh, we like Japanese snacks and shit? No, like stupid little ceramics. But probably snacks.

You can probably get like, poke-y, which you can also buy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but you can get like, nice, like, tableware. Which I'm all about. I mean, I really into buying novelty glasses and cup is on an ambiance so I'm good. I'm good a hero. I'm not a role model. I'm not with that attitude.

Okay, so chicken burrito? Yeah, but then I had like a food show on KQED for a while. So I like that, I like going like weird pop-ups and stuff and like fucking like I don't know shit with like shaved truffles on it Okay, I guess I'm not really describing binge eating No, but you don't have to It doesn't have to be a binge eating I'm like trying to figure out what I'm like thinking. What's your favorite thing to throw up?

Oh, like, well, probably burrito- Okay, burritos. And then- Wait, do you like to eat anthra burrito? No, but then three days ago, I woke up, my timing was all up. I woke up and ordered $40 worth of Popeyes in Bushwick. And I like ate it, and I like, I immediately was like,

oh God, I have to fucking get rid of this now. And I just went in the bathroom and fucking hurled. And it felt so liberating. Like I was finally taking control. Yeah. Amen. Amen. Sister. I was like, felt like self-care. Sometimes I'm not bulimic at all. OK. But sometimes it does feel good to eat a bunch of Thai. For me, noodles.

I like to eat a bunch of noodles and drink a bunch of wine, spaghetti, or Thai food, and then throw up the noodles because they come up easy The part feels good It does give you a feeling of control Yeah, it's Dionysian it's the the vomitarium. It's pagan, okay. I'm doing Dionysian revel, right? Papa is the other night, so I did not throw it up.

It's just like, it used to be better in the 80s. Papa? Yeah. Why are none of you haters eating chick food? I do eat chick food. Oh, I am. Okay, my recent depression has been like It's been two months of me fucking ordering the Chick-fil-A breakfast because the breakfast. It's like

I don't know if you realize you're playing with Christ The breakfast Like read out to some if you order Chick-fil-A you are baptized as a Christian What's the breakfast? Oh, it's like, chicken blade. It's a burrito. If you order Chick-fil-A, you are baptized as a Christian. I'm just like, well, it's like, okay, it's like the chicken biscuit has a fried chicken breast and an egg on it. And so I'm like, oh, mom and daughter on one sandwich, it just feels so wrong. But it's so salty. It's like the salt bomb of it.

And the sauce, it's like the food is salty and the sauce is sugary to overcompensate. No, that's what you're eating. And it's like, I did this thing where I was trying to retrain my diet to have like a more European palate where like, the Japanese, by the way, the Japanese call the chicken and egg,

oh, yako-don. That's it. The Japanese by the way the Japanese called the chicken and egg oh yakodon Because I knew that they had a word for it But that is that's what it's like we call that hitting the wall empty egg cartons They counter signal your fertility They counter signal your fertility. Fuck you, hey. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's coming to minutes. And it's just the idea that it's always there, like, the Popeye.

I found out recently that they deliver Chick-fil-A to my apartment. It comes only for you, huh? And it's $28 on the delivery app, which seems incredibly cheap for cheap, or steep for Chick-fil-A, but compared to all the other stuff, because you can spend like $100 on the app. Oh, but also you know that like,

you know, like the next wave, if humans survive that long, you know how we find dinosaur bones? The next big fossil thing will be chicken bones. Will we eat something like 80 billion chickens a year on fucking planet Earth Well the chickens in America actually the black is I don't believe in dinosaurs Well cuz chickens are dinosaurs. They are yeah, they are yeah apparently

That's also another name makes me not believe in dinosaurs. When people say that, I'm like, wait, you don't. Wait, bro, on test, have you ever met Daniel Agrado? No. You would love that. Wait. It's a love match. A husband.

We have a husband. You guys can be poor together. You guys can be at well. Wait, wait, would you have me after everything I've been through? Yes. Oh, cool. Okay, that's like the whole I need. Literally it.

He's also doesn't live in dinosaurs. He's a repeat guest on the podcast. He's actually the reason Dosh and I know each other. He's okay. I can't even imagine the fever dream that the two of y'all were just like, oh my god, Betty, Veronica, like wow, we finally found each other. This is like, this is the marriage of the century. I was like, who is this other stupid drosh and the whole other?

Yeah, there can only be one, but we instead of fighting to the death we decided to join forces and be two super Russian warriors together Hey true love always true love always triumphs Wait, I had something you were saying okay chicken bones. I was gonna say that American chickens are, like apparently, because, okay, I eat fast food when I go to Europe too, because of my European palate. Um, but they, like the quality of chicken

that we consume in America is like criminal. Oversteed. It's like, it's like, does not pass any health. It's all the same thing. The below grade, yeah. Like the chicken here is really, it's like the it's like does not pass any So I'll follow great. Yeah, like the chicken here is it's like cut with fans Matthew Perry chicken. It's Where are you a friends fan?

You know why are you acting so sad about Matthew Perry all this? Okay, here's a thing. Like, um... You do get him. Okay, like, no, like, I'm like, obviously like a fucking addict. I struggle with all the times. I have poor and are he already asleep? No, I-I-I-I struggle with so many type of addiction issues. And he was adamant about it.

All of his work. No, it was his big, yeah. He wrote a play. I know, Praontas, You and Matthew Perry have something in common, which is like why you were a good artist, which is called having a low self esteem and no boundaries. Right. You know, it's actually got me kind of far.

It's true. It really works to your favor. Oh, but the idea too that even him like having so much knowledge, like at 54, it was like, okay, this is what I say about like Whitney Houston right, you know, because she died of like that heart attack But like if she hadn't have died it would have just been a fun night And that's like you're always wondering what is the night? That's gonna take me over he would have thought that Whitney Houston was probably the most beautiful and skinny person to die of a heart attack Think of have you ever thought that she was she was such a degenerate crackhead inventor

at crackhead but she always looked good always. I'm just saying it seems impossible to die of a heart attack She died in the bath yeah, but also I probably I don't also don't think I have enough money to actually die of a good overdose No, no, no, that's the fuck. That's part of sucks I know. I always do, though. You don't need that much money. Run, good, bender. Oh my god. OK, we need to find the spinoff husband and a baby. I was going to say we should just do a suicide bet.

Oh my god. What's that sneaker cult? A heaven's gate. Heaven's gate. No, but do you have to die wearing micies. I'm an Adidas girl through stripes. What's this whole thing? All the same.

All the same business also in the book where you talk about wearing different types of sneakers to fuck different types of man. So you wear vans to fuck the white boys and Jordans to fuck the black boys? OK, so I was like, I was a garage rocker in the double zeros. And I only wore vans, could completely I think destroyed my fucking knees

We're wearing fucking vans only fucking white boys would be like oh he obviously likes white dick the second in 2012 I switched to Jordans that's when like the black dude That's when like the black dude brother Oh, hey, like you still talk like a white girl, but Jordan's a fresh like Okay, you have a preference do you like white guys are black guys better? I at this junction in my life for the past several years Black dudes are like 99% of my trade like the second I weight, like fucking white boys just didn't want to deal anymore.

And also like there's something about like sex with like white men where I'm just like, I don't know, like brothers will just get in there and fucking. I hate to say it like this, but like, and there's all like some good white tops in the world. There's some good white tops. There's about 10 that I fuck with. But like most white dudes, they're just like, they always want to be, especially white gay men. They always want, they fuck like, they're like a museum,

like a statue in a museum. And they're like, oh, my perfect porcelain body. Oh, look at me in the mirror, whereas brothers are just like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, I'm just kinda like, like, yes. I'm scared. I'm just kinda like, yes. I'm scandalized. And plus, it's just like, I don't know.

Like, I grew up in Alabama. Like, having sex with my cousins. It just makes me back. I don't want to. You know, I've never had sex with a black guy. I mean, if I were you should wait For a baby But like don't re-inject you with you don't go fucking don't go for like the fucking like

Okay, so they're all the way girls I know that finally had sex with a black dude eventually like oh it like it wasn't everything I cracked up I was like did you fuck a black dude or did you fuck like a black hipster in the lower east side like no you got to go to like The Bronx and get a dude that works for like No, but it's like like he was crying. I'm crying. I'm like I don't want to I'm sorry. Yeah, listen, listen, I was scared for a long time to Dasha It was just like what do you mean you were saying? They just don't like they um they don't but the brothers are not drawn to me Oh, they're like come on. I'm like you're big. I like everything. I love you Like they'll okay what you have to do Dasha is you have to buy a pair of Jordans

You're gonna see me stride around my jaw. You're like, you guys dodged as a total wigger now. I mean, she's dressed like a wigger at this very moment. Oh, oh, it's like that hyperbore. I got a sweat band. You're like, I was listening to Eminem I love Eminem me to he's like so blonde and perfect What he's thinking about like the Justin Bieber like diddy fucking what?

Well cuz did he's getting called out for all this shit, but like like Like Because did he's getting called out for all this shit but like like Like But then also they're coming out with these things were like because Justin Bieber spent time and is like oh man We probably can't put this in I don't want to lie Just a Bieber spent time time under his tutelage and there was this crazy video where he's like, Did he get dittled? He was like, he was like so just in, like how come you don't call me anymore?

How come you don't come by? It's just, and Bieber looks so nervous in the video. But then Usher is also talking about when he spent time at Diddy's and was like, yeah, I was 14 and I saw so, so, so, so really crazy stuff. What is Diddy, did he a pito?

I think he is just like energy sucks sir energy sucker like he has a new or be is he I saw him at the so who house He's trying he's he's stating the girl from city girls. I mean he was like Triall for gang rape. Who did he gang rape? Someone like in like 1991 or something. Wait, I totally missed this. Yeah. Fuck.

Going on. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, I'm not really a ditty fan. I mean, also to a part of me too, it was like, I don't, because it's like, I don't, you know how some people like get like rap music? I love rap music. I know you do What do you think about Asian doll? Oh? You know I never listen to much of her stuff like and so I guess I'm pretty neutral

But like most female rap in general like I'm just I'm pretty like pro it like she's just so pretty You told me about her Really I need the husband I need the baby I need the plastic surgery I probably need to move to New York crawl this cuz it's you might yeah, it's like it's too You want to get out of Oakland you're you're stunted I know you want to get out of Oakland, you're, you're stunted. You want to get out of that punk house. You are, you're better. Okay, okay, listen, you know that our business manager, what? Shout out to Corey Padel. Can we say

that on the podcast? Maybe the track did just, I don't know. So our business manager is part of like a Story lineage of artist managers and his grandpa was this guy called Bert Padel who was name checked on 112 only you by biggy and They used to manage rappers and now they manage podcasters Yeah, they manage an arm money. That's so fucking crazy. It's actually crazy. It's crazy.

We're probably have the same consumption habits as rappers, like controlling for taste and preference. I mean, I'm literate. Yeah, I'm like, like, we are like, I'm texting him like, Rich, I'm like, can I buy a $17,000 mattress?

He's like, I guess. Yeah. Can I buy my mom a Rolls Royce? I'm like, is it like everything gonna be okay if I buy a $17,000 mattress? He's like, sure. Wait, did you buy it? Yeah, I have a $17,000.

That's why it sends me so much time in bed. That's what I saw. That's what I saw. It's an investment. I love that. I'm asking for my Kia, but it's still like the most expensive mattress I've ever owned. I think it was like 2000.

My wife bought it. That's the thing is if it's like you're going to buy an expensive mattress. OK, but also like I am making a personal plea to everyone in RedSkareland. Can some husband come save me right now? Can we find a mom on a save broadcast? Or be saved by him. Yeah. and can some husband come save me right now? I'm on a save bronca's or be saved by him.

Yeah, like, like how tall are you? I'm 11, 5, 8. You're 5'8." I mean, my spine is shrinking, but with the test I'm still old. He's growing. He's still taller than he looks. You're not 5'8.

I have a tall presence. Yeah, big presence. Gonna get that Pt BBL And I'm about to have a PhD from Berkeley. What oh? I applied for the school I Got to learn some more I think let's go back to school. Yeah, let's do it. I need a master's degree to get a job at the UN.

It's like the longest podcast or whatever. Oh, I'm comparing that. How's Colin? I'm like, how's Colin? They've stuck me for the professor, yeah. If we go back to school, we can have sex with so many men. Oh, college dudes. I don't know.

Do you want to teach people where the clitoris is? They know they're so... My Mary Kay alternative. Well, I sent you guys the New York Post article about how zoomers are scared to order off menus and talk to the waiters, which... Oh, because there's just like a glut of options, so they show... They just get anxiety and they can't talk to people. What if they're not anxious and they don't have ADHD

and they just can't read? They're just stupid. Did you feel like Gen Z is like a societal punching bag? Did these kids actually have these many problems? Yeah, they had problems. Like, oh, what are you, Gen X? Yeah. Yeah, it had problems. Like, Oh, what are you, Jennings? Yeah.

Yeah. But you're like barely Jennings. No, I know. I'm like, you're kind of a Jerry. You're like elder millennial. Totally. But I mean, it's like, I remember when I became a millennial,

it's literally when they wanted to sell us iPhone X. Like, because the term millennial first came, it was specifically someone about 10 years younger than me, but then they scooped us in Mm-hmm. I feel like you know, but energetically I'm genetics because I didn't have the internet in my house You're punk. Yeah, and I met all my friends through letters Yeah, I'm so drunk. I can kind of hear that Brontas has a southern accent, but also kind of a caliac. That kind of, it's a twang with the fry.

I've had to, I've had to become so many things to survive. It's intersectional. It is. There's so many kinds of gay guys. Yeah. Well you guys, I think I have to go meet some gay guys now. Oh yeah, we can wrap it up. How long have we been yapping?

An hour 45? Oh, that's good. That's good for me. Because we've been going kind of long lately. We can wrap it up. No, but I mean, any final questions, I mean. Well, okay, I have two questions. Okay, here.

Number one, what's your process? As an artist. Oh. And number two, before I forget, do you have anything to plug? Okay, so as a process, I usually write in my head, or it's always based on a theater thing, before I commit something to a page, I usually like to be able to recite it in my head.

I did that for a lot of years. I just now freeform kind of more. But so the thing is, Timberages that I've burned comes out in February, but it's being followed the following year by my first sci-fi book. So I put that sound to two book deal. So yeah. Yeah. So because I was

just like, I was sick of writing about gay horseshit. So I wanted to be like, oh, and like even if it's bad, I just history right about gay horseshit and space. No, it's about, it's, it, um, it was originally called the body writes a book, but they don't want that title, but it's about, it's set in the 70s in Alabama and it's about a family of rural, black psychics that are at war with each other. That's... I love that. That's brilliant. Yeah. So. There's even like an evil Jewish protagonist, the inner guy that comes from New York. So it has this crazy sexual affair?

Some yanky ass. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. This is going to become a Jordan Peale movie.

Oh, he loves on my band. He came to one of my shows once. Oh, wow. He loves the underlovers. Or when I was in that band. Oh, wait, and like your band? Yeah, but we had to put out two records this year Holy shit wait, I put out my first electronic record is called no jacks wing go stream it and I just put out another one I put out one on sub pop the single

Oh, and then there's another one on upset the rhythm called confirm bachelor. Do you know the confirmed bachelor's? Yeah, I don't know it's a 40's term for a homosexual like if your son wasn't married past his own age he's confirmed as a bachelor he's a Christian yeah who's a fucking Christian he's sucking dick in the pulpit. It like scares me when you do that voice. I like it when it does the voice. I'm like... I'm like... I'm like a man dingo.

I'm like, I gotta get outta here. I'm like... And okay, so, for all the tests, there's a book coming out in February called Ten Bridges. I've burnt it. It's a book of poetry. I hate poetry, but this is a really beautiful and free theory. It's kind of fucking annoying.

It's so annoying, but yours is really conversational and funny and fun. And I like it. I like your insight. The best poetry I think is meant to be kind of performed and you can tell. I also think that's why they fucking hate me too, because it's like, who hates you. because it's like Thank you put like like there's something about fucking like Literature that's gate captain this way that people are always like you have to be handing knowledge down to like the peasants But if you speak in a colloquial everybody that's ever spoke and colloquially within literature gets like

Oh, this is low brown or if you use humor This is anti-intellectual Mm-hmm, but by the way, Brontas I want to let you know that I've introduced your work to Not one but three straight guys and they liked it. Oh, there is a straight dude last time I was in fucking bushwick that came up to me when I was on the street. It was like, oh aren't you Brontis pernell? Like I heard you on like red scare. I like your vans.

I was like, I was like, that's so like the silk. He was really cool too, he was really hot. I was like taking back. Nice. Nice. But I definitely think the straight boys will really like this one because it's about male loathing

They love that yeah, empowered male loathing empowered male self-loathing I think all alpha isn't as based in honestly I Thank you Look at how much I fucking love y' how much I love y'all. Like I love y'all so goddamn much. Thank you.

Like it is always fucking fun to talk to y'all like seriously. I want to be fucking, I want to be canceled together. You want to be a third night? I'm not canceled. That's not true. We're shifting the over's win don't sing retarded We're placing you trails Brontez pernell that fucking coon

Uncle for aunt has his that fucking coon and when I'm fucking red scare again oh Uncle Veronica's is coming oh my god wait doesn't that sound posh it sounds like a place I want to be there's like this is nice couches

a bunch of ketamine like yeah dude can I buy my sig yeah oh awesome okay alright thank you I love y'all I love you there. Wait. Yeah. Dude, can I buy my sig? Yeah. Awesome. Okay. Alright. Thank you. I love y'all. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

Who are you fucking? See you now. you